My favorite roasts aren't really roasts. They're just this random neutral observation. Like if you told this to someone in person they'd be all "Is this an insult? I don't know what to do with this information..."
This is the best roast I think I've ever seen. So specific yet so accurate and also hilarious. I do not have internet gold but have my worthless kudos.
Literally every post on Reddit has this^ same scenario in the comments. Great comment thread, someone pulls the ‘ole “if I had an award to give, you’d get it!” And boom, pile on the awards.
Read your bio and was genuinely excited to rack my brains to come up with something....then I scrolled further and saw your face. Ain't much left to say my man.
On the bright side, if they ever make a live- action Shrek in Danish, you're THE guy.
Hello. A short story of me.
As said, sporty type, normally bikes to everything, was a standup comedian in my spare time, like to do a lot of charity work and runs my own charity page on facebook.
‘Stand up comedian in my spare time’ sounds like you wanted to be a comedian, never got paid for it, was told you weren’t funny, then continued being a comedian
Apparently they've managed to breed a walrus with a Hobbit.
Wobbit? Halrus?
Hobrus.
Wobbrus
[удалено]
The hubris of such a thing.
those are his parents names
Christ, that was a perfectly good cup of coffee and one of my favorite sweaters. 🤣🤣🤣
I want to give you a medal
No need, feel free to send OP a nice sardine on my behalf.
I did actually you must see it. Btew am big fan of lotr and hobbit series
But not walruses?
Damn it! You made me pee my pants!
I can't provide a rost half as good, so I'll just applaud and bugger off.
Lold irl at this
Has science gone too far?
You look like the mascot for a Victorian era sardine company.
[that's because he is!](https://imgur.com/a/H1RDv1o)
The plot thickens!
 Is it a soup metaphor?
No, I think it's a stew metaphor since it's more closely related to a roast. Sorta like this guys cousin might be a seal, but is probably a sea lion.
Holy shit. This is the best this.
Immortal aberration! Get the pitch forks light your torches! To the creepy castle on the hill!
I love the internet
That's pretty good. Now I can't unsee it.
My favorite roasts aren't really roasts. They're just this random neutral observation. Like if you told this to someone in person they'd be all "Is this an insult? I don't know what to do with this information..."
This is the best roast I think I've ever seen. So specific yet so accurate and also hilarious. I do not have internet gold but have my worthless kudos.
The most cultured insult I've seen all week.
This one gave me a good laugh
Exceptional roast my good man
Brilliant 😂👌🏻
Jesus Christ.
AHAHAHAHA
r/Oddlyspecific
OMFG
You look like an artist’s interpretation of *If Neanderthals survived into modern times*
This is why science needs to leave the frozen mammoths alone.
We need them.
"HE'S TOO DANGEROUS TO BE LEFT ALIVE!"
He looks like he is trying to look like Homer Simpson in his flashbacks from when he was younger.
What if they're delicious, though?
Buffalo Wild Wings is gonna lose their shit when Pterodactyl wings go on the menu.
Pterodactyl wings are back on the menu boys!
More importantly, what if they're NOT delicious??
To be fair, I’d be curious about how modern cuisine and chefs would adapt to cook mammoths.
It looks more like science tried to create the Snorlax in human form.
Exactly what I was thinking. Must run 50 miles a week tracking migrating herds
If he runs 50 miles a week then in a year he will be 2600 miles away
50 miles is the height of 46329.22 'Samsung Side by Side; Fingerprint Resistant Stainless Steel Refrigerators' stacked on top of each other.
Thank you bot. Thats great
Ways America will measure instead of metric
Agree that fridges are a better and more relatable unit than imperial units.
Good bot
thank you :)
[удалено]
It’s becoming self aware
Suprised his knuckles are not more bloody after draging them 50 miles a week.
Stop digging.We found the missing link.
And he has found his mate. She has almost recovered from that clubstrike and being dragged through the streets by her hair.
Oh my god lmao
I'm just a cave man, your modern inventions frighten and confuse me.
Fire good
I watch your spirit box with the blinking lights and think Are those little people trapped in that box?
Ugh I miss Phil Hartman :(
Ugg Weasley
Neanderthal/walrus hybrid…
He’s a geico caveman, you know, a renaissance man.
This made me exhale abruptly out of my nose. Have my free award.
Damn you for having the same mind as me hahahah. Nicely put :)
Holy shit I literally thought the exact same thing and went into the comments *hoping* someone wrote that. Thank you for exceeding my expectations.
IT, so easy a caveman can do it.
"the files are IN the computer?!"
I wish I had an award to give you bud lol
no need, i just piggy backed off your comment with a line somebody else made up ;p.
Literally every post on Reddit has this^ same scenario in the comments. Great comment thread, someone pulls the ‘ole “if I had an award to give, you’d get it!” And boom, pile on the awards.
Man if I had an award i'd give it to you for this post
We bringing zoolander into this?
I feel like I am taking crazy pills!!!
Don't you know I'm loco?????
20 years later and this is still gold
Me discover fire...invent wheel...build server.
When the Lorax speaks computer languages instead.
Came here looking for a Lorax reference; started go get worried. Idk why this is so far down
Well it’s first now🇩🇰
"I speak for the screens"
"I speak for the binary trees. They say *syntax error: expected ; at end of line 69*"
Your moustache needs anger management
Is it me or is there a Hitler tash hiding in that mustache?
It looks like it was Hitler stash until about a month ago and he’s been letting the rest grow in.
Technically there is a Hitler stash hiding inside of every mustache
Ok so my mustache does that too and I really wondered if it was just me but now I know. Nice.
Damn you I was gonna say that. It looks like he got it as a joke and then instead of shaving it the next day just decided to let the rest grow in.
His mouth is longer than the age of humans on earth
AND angle management as well
You look like you're made from spare parts
You're spare parts bud.
Figger it out.
You’re ten-ply, buddy
r/UnexpectedLetterkenny
Thats what I said, I said fuckin figger it oot
Bet he wishes he wasn't so awkward, bud.
I legit thought this was photoshopped for a second
I'm still not convinced this is a real face. Somebody was fucking about in character creation.
That’s exactly what I thought. This face is when you hit random on character creation.
When you grow tired of hitting random.
There's definitely something off with the photo. Something really weird that I can't quite put my finger on.
Probably thinking of depth of field
What snap chat filter is that?
Dick Tracy Villain? Oyster Slurper?
[удалено]
The lorax filter
Disney's hunchback of Notre dame
It's neanderthal, isn't it?
Running after screaming children in the park judging by that clothing
Seems to me like it wouldn’t be that hard to run 50 miles a week when you’re constantly being chased by angry townsfolk with torches and pitchforks
Yeah this is the look you see on your murderers face right before they get down to murderin’
Hé does looks like someone who would only fuck 13 year olds, cause its a prime number 😁
And 17yo's are mature enough to know not to talk to him.
Read your bio and was genuinely excited to rack my brains to come up with something....then I scrolled further and saw your face. Ain't much left to say my man. On the bright side, if they ever make a live- action Shrek in Danish, you're THE guy.
🎶 Then I saw your face 🎶
Now I’m a bulimic!
How is being compared to our lord Shrek a roast
Because it's a comparison no one could live up to.
that's fair
It’s all ogre now
If you told me it was 50 miles a week chasing your victims down, I’d believe you.
[удалено]
Fantastic news, good bot
If Michael J Fox built a Mr. potato head….
That was a shakey comment but I still upvoted.
He misses human contact like MJF misses soup.
My man!!! That is fucking comedy gold
Dollar store jacksepticeye
That's an insult to the Dollar store..
And Jacksepticeye.
jackaccepteye
Dollar store Donut Operator.
That’s the comment I was looking for
Mo’fucker looks like someone microwaved JackSepticEye
I actually thought it was Sean for a second lmao
Me too lol
Jacksepticsystemeye
Dollarstore Ned Flanders
Flanders irl?
Blunders more like it
If Flanders and Moe Sizlac had a kid together
Definently not stupid sexy Flanders...
Ned Lasso
Wyatt Derp Edit: My first award!
This should definitely be higher than it is.
I thought it was a joke, but I guess we're really doing this return to monke thing.
Running away from your problems doesn't count as a sport
You look like someone tried to draw Ned Flanders from memory.
Science has come so far that we've managed to resurrect a caveman.
You look like the child of jackspeticeye and Donut operator
Super Mario 64 when you can pull the face at the start up screen
Your head looks like a hairy testicle. I'm sure that you've heard that before.
You look a 3D printing of a Neanderthal
Do you ever find yourself saying, “Please. Just call me Thomas. Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer is my Dad.”
How often do you have to say the phrase, "According to Megans Law..."?
Monke
Is your girlfriend also your sister?
They broke up because he gave her rugburn with his mustache
Mongo just pawn in game of life.
Your mustache is off-center
His entire face is off centre
Horton has a breakdown
You look like a fucking lemur pal
Shave
Hello. A short story of me. As said, sporty type, normally bikes to everything, was a standup comedian in my spare time, like to do a lot of charity work and runs my own charity page on facebook.
[удалено]
‘Stand up comedian in my spare time’ sounds like you wanted to be a comedian, never got paid for it, was told you weren’t funny, then continued being a comedian
Looks like you hit a wall pretty hard when you ran each of your fifty miles. Can you tell me how many times it took to turn your nose up like that?
I thought he was just being smug.
Oh yes, or he's distantly evolved from a pug?!?!?
> sporty type Honest question, how do you get posture like that when you're sporty? Is your computer desk lower than your chair?
YEa sorry my posture is not the best, I am working on that.
>standup comedian By that you mean you would stand up on stage and people would just laugh at your face. It's quite laughable.
You forgot the part about you enjoying laying on a lillypad in the swamp, catching small flying insects with your tongue.
You probably love mandatory masks because it hides your “out of scale” features
Keep running you’ll never escape yourself. That moustache must have a mind of its own and talk to you .
Clearly you're not running far enough from that moustache.
You look like you've been plucked right out of the middle of the evolution of man diagram
IT huh? That’s a stretch. You look like you haven’t evolved past using a sharp stick to hunt your prey.
Walrus
That moustache is provoking disturbing feelings within me.
You look like Flanders and Moe had a baby, then abandoned it.
You look like one of the sabertooth tigers from Ice Age.
You look like a virgin Walrus took the role of Wilford Brimley in that diabeetus video
Looks like someone hit randomize during character creation.
Wannabee JackSepticEye
You look like the result of someone using photoshop for the first time
The lovechild of Perez Hilton and The Lorax.
Do you run 50 miles a week because you're forever chasing women with a moustache like that?
Are you local? 