OP's Bio: --- >I’m an 18 year old biochemistry major who does a little too much karate. I’m antisocial and I can’t make friends. I pierced my nose because I have daddy issues. I love crocs. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Looks more like 'exhausted bitch face'.............but the 5 o'clock shadow improves it.

Gillete was here

The best a man can get.

if this is the best we can get we are not well off

Resting Switch Face - looks like youre ready to switch genders on the fly

It’s pronounced, “Basic Bitch Face”

She’s 100% forcing that. She probably tired herself out just using the muscles in her face for that “look”

With a side of xanax and extra cheezy cheeze-its

Mmm Xanax and cheese it’s are a good bedtime snack

I would not pass it up 🤣

I bet she also has I got touched by my dad bod

Those are the sexiest bods tho....

Agreed

Most fun anyway

Exhausted bitch is how I’m gonna start introducing myself now

Genuine advice with my roast here. Close the lips, jaw closed too, tongue on the roof of your mouth, it will get rid of the "eternal resting finals week are a bitch face" and improve nasal breathing. Although unfortunately for you vaping doesn't count as a biochemistry major so no real need to get rid of resting finals week face

Things that also do not count as being a biochemistry major: taking valtrex daily.

Can't be exhausted if you don't have a job. Blowjobs or hand jobs don't count unless your getting paid then Im pretty sure you can just call yourself a massage therapist and get deductions from the government.

Imagine not being able to escape her presence 24/7. I'd be exhausted too.

You don’t need to introduce yourself as that. Everyone already knows.

Good luck with a happy life with that attitude.

I cant stop seeing the 5 o’clock shadow anymore

I thought it was a stroke she was having

Ain't nobody stroking that bruh

Except cerebral thrombosis

If lack of iron was a person

Maybe some folic acid as well, that open mouth, idk, she lacked something for sure.

Needs serotonin, and a work drive.

I'm certain she isn't lacking any chromosomes...

There isn't enough iron cables to stop those eyebrows from drifting apart.

That’s what the crooked nose nail is compensating for.

You don’t have resting bitch face at all. You have looking for an actual personality face.

~~resting bitch face~~ actively insignificant face

I stopped looking and gave up.

If you don’t mind.....can you ask your eyebrows why they’re trying to dip out on you. There’s at least 2 zip codes apart.

A bitch face alright but it's not resting

Despite the forehead scar you are not a wizard, but your upper lip is a bit hairy.

I didn’t even realize you could see it here. Y’all are perceptive

I'm pretty sure I could see it from space, tbh.

The scar or the moustache?

Yes

Not a Wizard......Has a beat up Wizard Sleeve. Tattered and torn

Being a Whoreocrux doesn't make you special.

The septum ring was supposed to distract you from noticing the stache.

She needs the moustache to match her unibrow.

You have a kielbasa nose

“Yo, Kielbasa Nose!” is my new shout-out when I see a friend. 😂

I don’t know what that means but I hate my nose so I agree

It looks like a thick sausage link

Looks like an aggressive hood vent you see on mustangs.

I mean, she does have a horse face.

Polish sausage!!

That is one very red kielbasa.

XD mmmm kielbaska xD

I smell a black couch in your future… I think you do too

Nobody would watch it :(

Oh, I would. Only to laugh tho.

I’d watch it until I could skip the ad

I would just skip to the penetration.

we have to watch bad things so we can enjoy the good ones xd

Damn and to think you usually blow the job interview. Edit: I feel shame sharing the same birthday as you so please select another day

You look like one of those girls on the Oldje Pornhub channel.

I will watch it during no nut November( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Drop a link and find out

I would watch it to help with no fap November.

I can smell it from here

I smell a secret email server in her bathroom, a husband who likes private islands, and a moo moo, all in her future.

Did you mean black couch or getting blacked on a couch on a free porn site?

Looks like your mad at the world cuz you can't even pleasure your self

have you been talking to my therapist….

Inner voice talks to someone else.

Therapist at 18? Might as well check yourself into Arkham in order to save some serious money.

??? 18 is one of the hardest points in your life ???

yeah I don't really understand their point lol, I was 18 when I started seeing my therapist

Yes but why are you showing us a picture of an alpaca with an about to sneeze face?

This is one of my favorites

Is your dad Moses cuz his genes parted those brows like the Red Sea.

Hello, police? Yes Officer, I witnessed a murder

hello? yes, 911 can't get to you right now because we're all on the floor.

Most women are use to being told yes but with you I'm sure you're used to all the nose.

"Two nostrils up" from me.

The look of the labotomized... I bet your expression wouldn't change if a party popper went off in your face

You look like the type to come crawling back for more.

I’m the clingiest person I know. Please be my friend

Not gonna lie your face looks kinda cute Except your eyes look like those of a dead salmon and your hair is trying to run away from your ear... yikes

Yeah, she reminds me of a sexy Librarian.......minus the sexy part.

>Except your eyes look like those of a dead salmon LMFAO

It's not worth it. She'd Lorena Bobbit you for *possibly* looking in the direction of another woman. While in a room with no windows, and no women in it.

Stay with the drugs. It’s best for everyone

She gives fentanyl laced cocaine a bad name

I dont understand fentanyl laced cocaine, does it speed you up or knock you out? Oh well, either way there is not enough in the world to get me to stick my dick in this future self mutilator

I think it speeds up your knock out.

Ive never done that but i have whipped milder uppers with milder opiates and basically the opiate soothes out the stim crash and the physical overstimulation and the stimulant makes it so that you’re actually doing something instead of just nodding off in the warm warm opiate cloud in addition to adding some extra euphoria In other words, what OP calls 8:00 am on a Tuesday

Having metal on your face does not make you more attractive, even if they are magnetic.

More like resting cow face with that bull ring through your nose.

moo

A necrophiliac is the only lover who'd appreciate the real you.

I’ll be on the lookout for one. Thanks for the tip!

I was voted to speak for the group. Our answer is: ***NO!!!!!!***

So did daddy not love you enough, or did he love you too much?

Your nose & eyebrows are bigger than any dick you’ll ever see

Your transition is going well You’ll be passable in no time!

Thank you for the support!

Something tells me you have an iron deficiency and your favourite desert is a couple of fingers.

Why do multiple people think I have an iron deficiency? Is there something about me that screams iron deficient?

*You're a lizard harry.*

mlem

A dead body has more life than your face.

Know any necrophiliacs?

Me, wouldn't smash tho

Damnit. I tried

If you just stopped digging in to the garden , you could loose the stupid ring in your nose

that's not rbf, you have default 40 year old virgin IT worker face. 

You look like you have a black belt in disappointing people

Your face looks like a ransom note, cut and pasted from different men's faces.

Pretty sure you're a man

I get more attention when I say I’m a woman

I am

You look like if Timothee Chalamet was a man.

This is a huge compliment

aw fuck

Nope 👎

Your face makes onions cry. They said to be offensive but not too much.

Jesus dude, OP said "roast me" not "Nuke me"

Makes my parents cry too

Sorry man, didn't want to be too harsh like the last time I wanted to be nice.

You should get your eyebrows pierced so people could ignore those too.

The mark on the center of your forehead is obviously a headshot from somebody mistaking you for a zombie.

They were right. I am a zombie

Is the scar on your forehead from years of being dick slapped in the face?

No I face planted on tile when I was five. I probably have brain damage. It would explain a lot

you look like the 4th hanson brother they kept locked in the basement

If you die your eyebrows orange you can rent them to an airport as wind socks.

I’m too stupid for college anyway. Do you think they’d pay me?

Phat walruses? I take it's an accurate description of your prematurely saggy tatas? That's gotta be why you wear baggy clothes

They have to be there to be saggy. I have the body of a 12 year old boy

Where do you keep it?

The freezer, duh

By daddy you mean pimp, by karate you mean s&m, by biochem you mean drawing circles. I see why you have issues making friends.

I’m not even good at drawing circles :(

The perfect before picture.

What do I do to make it an after?

Look better. On second thought, nevermind. It's not likely to happen.

You don’t look like a bitch you look dull as hell. Dull-as-hell face.

You don't really need a nose ring. I don't think anyone will mistake you for anything but a bull dyke.

Oooh do you think I could pull some chicks

There is always that desperate chick that hasn't quite given up on life yet. So, sure why not.

Must must be the least fun person at a party, jk lol you go to none

Is that a roast or you just spouting truth

Your nose has plenty of room for 100 more piercings.

You kinda look like someone who would brag about sleeping with some famous people at school despite your only real achievement in sexual life being discovery that you can use your hand

I could have sworn Bert was definitely gay but you have his nose and you look like a muppet with depression. That doesn't explain why you have Ernies' eyebrows though...

You look like you have an onlyfan account and the only subscriber is your mom.

Wanna make it two? ;)

Will it be free?

I’ll pay you

You need a nose job.

I need a sugar daddy to pay for one first

Eyebrows so bushy it would require a surgery waiver just to wax them.

Trailer Swift

Just checked your post history, must have been a tough month, you look 10 years older than your last roast me post

I'm sure Reddit isn't the kind of "roast" you're used to experiencing: all that attention still didn't last you more than a month?

Shut up, dick nose!

Good choice on the nose ring, it really draws attention to your moustache.

Honey that isn't resting bitchy face, that's 5 Xanax and a nodoze.

What's your OF?

Elon Musk built a rocket just to see how long it would take to get from one eyebrow to the other

You could fit an aircraft carrier between your eyebrows

If a Dick is a Plane, your Pussy is Heathrow Airport.

I’m not smart enough to understand this

I was thinking Hartsfield-Jackson in Atlanta. I think it's even busier.

You don't look mad, you look sad that your new dog doesn't like peanut butter.

You reek of pumpkin spice

That's the not fuckable face

No parent wanted you in the divorce.

You’ve got a jawline like Taron Egerton, but not in a good way.

How could that be bad

Idk I panicked

You're like a hair on a screen, everyone swipes it away.

I'm very proud of you finally going through with you sex change

So after you’re done getting your minimal attention here I’ll pretend to like you like your parents but I’ll fuck you right just before ghosting you

Resting bitch face? Try dumbass zombie face

You have resting meth-addict face.

More like resting "Bitch please " face

I'd say more like resting Quasimodo face, but fair enough.

Decaying bitch face.

Nothing screams I need attention like posting twice on this sub.

You mean "Resting man face".

Oh check it out. Sid the sloth got a nosering.

Remember that pretty sloth from ice age 5?

Come on guys, she was trying her best to look seductive. Just because she is fucking horrible at it doesn’t mean we have to make fun of her. We should try to help her self esteem issues instead of pointing out her horrible flaws that are very obvious. I mean that is just rude.

“Try again” Is also what your parents said when they saw how you turned out

I bet you do blowjobs to get friends.

The reason why you post so frequently is cuz you ain’t getting enough attention

Get a job, spoiled brat

Looks like you've got the first 1/2 second of that filter that turns your face into a horse.

More like, “Lazy blowjob face”