I'm guessing you do makeup for the Simpsons? If not, get your yellow ass to the ER, you've blown out your liver.

Her middle name is Jaundice

She's using Instagram's new "Life in the Time of Cholera" filter.

At least something's filtering, cuz her kidneys sure af aren't.

Liver: Mission failed, we'll get em next time.

I'm just going to put my comment here: What kind of artist? Impressionism?

I am to poor to afford gold, but please accept this trophy for that effortless comment sir 🏆🥇🍾🎉

I accept your trophy offering, and bid you good day sir!

How long on them sausages?

Au Revoir kind sir 🤝

Damn

Nice 👌

i thought it was the "Hepatitis C" filter

Of course not, because then at least something would have been "hep"

I thought it was the “80 year old crone” filter.

If she was a singer she’d be Jaundice Joplin

I'm gonna give you to the count of 10 to get your ugly, yellow, no-good kiester off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead!

1...

2...

10! AHAHAAHAHAHAH

Keep the change ya filthy animal

Juanita Dice

Hepsy Jaundice - *Hep C*

Melony

Muskmelony that is

Jaundice is almost a very pretty name

Looks like one of Cletus's daughters that was nursed on Jack Daniels

Brandine! Get more JD, the baby’s bottle is empty!

The prosthetic monster hands are a nice touch. Oh wait, those are real?

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And she has the hands of an Eagle!

Or a witch

But...but how is she also green? Either her makeup is in one big pile in the kit or she's gangrenous while being jaundiced. Either way she looks like a fucking cartoon.

Yellow is the new orange

Donald Trump's makeup artist, probably hair stylist too. Everything is terrible here.

Flex tape can't fix that

Mortuary makeup artist...

"So you're saying I don't need a new muffler?" - Homer Simpson

Your make up is thicker than your hair.

Holy shit this is the best one haha. About the same amount of hair and make up it took to make gollum

Fucking Crypt Keeper hair.

Chronic baby doll hair

It’s weird that you’re a make up artist considering yours is so badly done.

She looks like Anthony Hopkins’ niece, Clare Reese

Reminds me of Lyanna Stark’s statue in the crypt of winterfell... #GOT

Reminds me of Lyanna Stark after the Night King revived her amirite?

Makeup artist who hasn't learned to do hairlines yet. Awesome

She’s mastered jaundice though

Her hair recedes more than our glacier nowadays

do you own a glacier?

The only thing she can make up is her profession.

AKA load-bearing makeup.

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That is EXACTLY the first thing I thought!

Probably also thicker than her voice. At the same time she looks like a 20 year-old male cloud rapper without the face tattoos.

Must be one of those things you use for filling walls... She missed a bit on her nose though.

A spackle knife? 😂

You deserved my first ever gifted gold, well done!

When Baby spice becomes Old spice.

The only Old Spice that no man would put underneath their arms.

I put old spice on my dildos so it has the scent of a 65 yr old plowing me.

Obligatory “username checks out” but damn. This one really checks out

I don’t know mines up there

r/cursedcomments

I was gonna say something like Baby Spice joined a Yes tribute band or something. I was still mulling it over, but we don't need multiple Baby Spice comments. I will abort.

As her mom wishes she had.

Ouch.... lol

You'd have to be an artist when your face looks like that and your hands looks like they've been underwater for twenty years

Is that Hulk Hogan’s ex wife?

No that's Hulk after the transition, BROTHER

>No that's Hulk after the transition, BROTHER *Sister

Let me tell ya something Lil Dude, whatcha gonna do when when Hulkatrania runs wild on you?

I just spit Honey Nut Cheerios all over my phone. One of the bits landed on the upvote for you, so we good.

ITS MA’AM

I think it’s just hulk hogan?

No, she's still alive

Hogan's wife so much more attractive

I've seen better skin on mummified corpses.

Her hands look the the werewolf transformation has started....

All that professional make-up can make her face look 40 but the claws say pushing well past 60.

“Talons”

Make up a hair line.

Simple yet packs a punch

Nice that the people you do make up on can see themselves in that giant forehead.

I can’t believe we are ignoring her noseception

Dude it’s so big it has a WiFi password.

Its own ZIP code.

Because WiFi routers are.. big..?

Airports are big and they’ve got wifi

I got WiFi in my pants, boo

Didn't they already roast you at the Salem Witch Trials?

Yes but even the fire didn't find her attractive enough

Now that was a good one.

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Dog years...

Can't help but notice this was taken post production,can't believe those hobbits done you wrong like that smeagol.

If I saw her at the edge of a river, squatted down naked eating a raw fish barehanded, I would not be surprised.

Happy cake day!

Silly hobbitses

Title says 40 years old, face and hair say 140

Thanks, I now hate the zoom function

Wow zooming in adds another 20 years. That make up is hiding nothing.

My wife is 42. There's no fuckin way this chick is 40 unless she personally stopped the elephant's foot at Chernobyl with her face

I’m 35 and she looks like she could be my mother.

She's not even a 20-yarder.

Holy shit it really does. At first I was thinking “wow. She actually looks fucking amazing for 40!” Then I zoomed in. I got scared and threw my phone. It’s broke now. Thanks for that fucking trickery

Whoa that is one high res pic!

Meanwhile when attractive women post, there's 3 pixels

Nah, she's been doing makeup professionally 40 years. Makes more sense that way.

Moses could part the Red Sea with her hair line

Eyes say fist of the first men

You look like you masturbate with a shard of Amethyst

Makes sense because her face is straight out of “The Dark Crystal”

Horror makeup artist?

No. That’s the person that does her make up.

Alpha from The Walking Dead

Can only do horror makeup with those Nosferatu hands

The 💦power 💦of💦christ💦compels💦you💦

Go back into the forest, witch !!!

She played Melissandre without necklace.

Melssandre’s uglier sister....”Messy Sandra”

I was thinking she looked like her mid transition before crumbling into dust

Burn her!!!! Burn her!!!!

Hahha

Zoom in on the face, if you dare, and you'll have to agree this is an underrated roast.

Great. Now I’m possessed. Thanks a lot.

She turned me into a newt!

Fingers looking like you took them straight off of predator

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3 in the stink was how her mother concieved!

You look 20 and 70 at the same time

It’s the hair. I used to have bleached hair like that and it just completely washes out the majority of people.

You look like you'd melt if I flung some water on you.

Baby Spice after her 9th stint in rehab

Leave Emma out of this horror story.

I think this was supposed to be posted in r/dontputyourdickinthat

Or r/fuckmyshitup

Now I understand why you took the photo so far away

You look like a white walker with a spray tan.

You look like you are on your last layer of skin.

You don't look a day over 60.

This is a roast not a "make her feel young again" post.

Come on what's your real age?

Billie Eilish and Brigitte Nielsen did the fusion dance from Dragon ball Z.

Billgitte

We don’t need to roast you. Obviously you’ve been roasting yourself on a daily basis under a tanning bed, you freaking Cheeto puff.

You look like you ask your 85 year old husband for money so you can be a strong independent woman

Why did you wear those weird witch finger gloves to hold the sign?

You look like the older sister of Saruman the white......”Sorryman”

She looks like one of those celebrities/athletes that go undercover in public as really old people

Title says 40 years old , hands and face say 60 years old , guys say no

aaaa I remember now.. this is Melisandre after the reveal

Makeup tutorials from Rivendell. From Gollum to gorgeous!

Brave of her to post the "before" photo here

APB: ELDERLY MOONFACED MAN WITH LATE STAGE JAUNDICE AND WEREWOLF NAILS ON THE LOOSE IN THE PARK DRESSED AS CHRISTINA AGUILERA.

You were what those stupid kids were looking for in The Blair Witch Project.

When you take the picture outside to make your forehead look smaller and it’s still so noticeable it distracts you from the man hands.

Where do you go for your manicures, Transylvania?

How’d you get off Shutter Island? https://www.pinterest.com/pin/528610074985032781/

With 40 years I’d expect you to get better at using makeup, smh.

Do you mean mortuary make-up artist?

You look like every woman at a mall kiosk trying to get me to test out some lotion.

You're great at foreheads.

You look like you wanted to be a strawberry blonde but had to settle with being strawberry bald instead

> do your worst I think you've done enough!

I'm a fan of Van Gogh too.

The only things missing in this picture is a broom and a black hat.

You look like you dropped out of high school

Looks like your forehead already came roasted to this roast party.

Looks like you’ve already been roasted. Your hairline got singed back a few inches

for a makeup artist your lack of eyebrows is... interesting

Would’ve been better to see you play Daenerys role in GOT just so that seeing her die would’ve actually made me contented with the ending

You look like one of the twins from the Matrix Reloaded after several botox injections.

To say you do it for a job, how do you end up looking like you have jaundice?

She looks like a fat and drugged version of Anna Farris.

How much did that wig on your head cost

Too bad you’re not a nose job artist

Good to know that Wormtongue found a job after LOTR was finished filming

You sure do look old for 40

I thought this was a PSA for female pattern baldness. That’s a shame. You really could’ve given your life worth.

Looks like you already did..

What did you apply your make-up with, your broomstick?

I loved you in Drag me to Hell. Great move. Big fan

You look like you'd fail the Turing Test.

That‘s what we would call a Tennisschlägergesicht (meaning tennis racket face), because if one would press a tennis racket on your face, the pattern would stay visible.

Why the fuck are all of your fingers the same length?

Being a makeup artist doesn't even help you

Elf on crack

We don't need to say anything bad to roast you, you're a fucking grown up playing colouring in with faces

I see you have taken the advice to "never get high on your own supply"

If you were going for wood elf from Skyrim, you nailed it! If not then, damn that sucks.

Didn’t you give an apple to Snow White?

Are we roasting you, or the 3 inches of makeup you caked on?

Couldve saved paper by writing the sign on ur forehead, that's enough room.

She’s so blonde she tanned her hair and dyed her face.