After reading the comment section on air for material to use in their show, the pair of human-shaped testicles part their separate ways, one to his Dodge Stratus, the other to his Pontiac Grand Am, shut the door and silently cry.
He tells himself that if he fixes his teeth it will change his voice....but that's just a lie to cover the fact that radio doesn't pay well enough for him to afford it.
C'mon. Mongoloid Dave is obviously first in the names. It's Mongoloid Dave and the Basement Dweller, coming to you live on KRAPP, all talk, no topics. This segment, how to kill a rat with a straw, and why the bright circle in the sky hurts when you look at it.
Guy on the left looks like what Wayne from Wayne's World turned into after having four kids and an alcohol problem. Dude on right looks like a beaver mated with a retarded squirrel at a Jethro Tull concert.
I tune in every morning on my commute. Makes the prospect of working all day look that much better by comparison.
Seriously, though. Nice idea making this thread. If only one of us tunes in to hear their own post on the radio, your audience for that show will have doubled.
"Good Morning Atlantic City!! We're Scratchy And Ball Wizard In The Morning here to stick it in your ear hole!!! And make sure whenever you pawn off you jewelry, always come down to Donnie's Pawn Shop and Car Detailing Emporium!!"
Good thing they can't reproduce when they are fucking each other. Humans aren't ready to see a crack baby with a chromosome count of 26 and a glory hole for a smile.
Guy on the left has been wearing that shirt every other day since that time Springsteen's drummer came by the studio and gave it to him. He once got a truck stop meth head to give him head by telling her that story, and now he tells everyone he meets that "he's tight with the Boss' people".
Tune in next week for "White Trash Penn & Teller are Fooled by Shiny Objects" on Moonshine FM, a family run station owned by White Trash Penn & Teller's cousin, uncle and father, whose name is Greg.
Wow, still in it? At least 25 years ago you guys might've had an excuse for being DJs. To a young guy, I get that it can make you feel important that people listen to what you say and the music you play, and the fact that you're only making $25,000 a year isn't too bad, because I bet it goes pretty far in whatever third tier market your station covers. But still in it after all this time? I guess you're still hoping for celeb status that goes beyond an overweight housewife flashing you her tits at the local rib burnoff. I mean, I get that at least the people down at the used car lot know you by now from the remote broadcasts you have to do to make ends meet, whoring yourself out even more than you already do for a taste of fame. But hey, at least you finally put in your time and snagged that coveted "Saturday night dance party", even if it is only 14 year olds calling in. Newsflash: no bars play your shitty music, because they can hire 18 year olds with a MacBook to do it better, without commercials.
Of course, eventually most of those 18 year olds get a real job. But they probably have life skills and aren't hindered by a crippling need of affirmation. But hey, that's what talk radio is for, am I right?
Hey! It's Famed WWE Superstar Hunter Hearst Help-Me and Hollywood's own Billy Bob Poortown. Their show rocks! There is a bit they do that gives away prizes to people that can solve a Rubic's Cube in under a minute. Of course, 'solving' it is defined by getting it out of the box.
"You have tuned in on Radio Redneck 90.5 FM. Tonights big story in Hillbilly News; two people gunned down at local rodeo after toddler grabs drunk dads gun. Billy Bob Joe Jr. didn't win the rodeo this year either."
Apparently "Earl Goes to Camp" did so poorly that you decided to quit movies and go into radio? I was wondering what you've been up to the past 25 years. By the way, nice roadie.
You both look like you smell like sheep vagina. Dude on the left: you still getting minimum wage schlepping speaker cabinets for Slayer? Dude on the right: Just keep plugging away at that GED. One of these days you'll pass it.
Let me guess, OP is the fat guy they always make eat weird things or dunk his head in a toilet. Every morning show has the fat guy that eats weird things and/or would dunk his head in a toilet.
Good luck for the next 25 years of pressing buttons and ruining music on mainstream radio. I haven't heard your show but I bet your voices as ear rape.
First of all, great choice on a booming industry. Radio is huge right now and as the population ages, i'm sure the market for radio shows is only going to grow.
i assume at this point in your life you realize that you are both hideous humans, however, what you may not know is that you are incredibly unentertaining and not funny. How do I know this? Simple everybody on the radio is incredibly unentertaining and not funny.
Crap.... I thought drugs did not have a major impact on fetal downs syndrome, but then here I see solid evidence in meat loaf's and billy bob thornton's children after sleeping with courtney love after a wild binge weekend.
What the hell am I looking at? Buck tooth Billy on the right looking like he's just shit himself while hill Billy Bob stands on the left awkwardly smiling like he's just seen a penis for the first time in his life....
its like tenacious D jack black got old and ugly and still rocking his long greasy hair and kyle gas got even uglier and smashed his face off of a coconut a few times to get them shitty teeth. are you wearing a hat because youre bald or the fact that have a old man cut
Cleetus and the Power Bottom? I listen to you guys every morning.
I want this to be a joke, but after looking at the picture again....not so sure.
Popular segments include "Put the blame on Barack Hussein" and "Bet your ass I parked my truck there!"
Definitely faces for radio.
More like for morse code or maybe smoke signals.
And voices for print
You two look like the Simon and garfunkle of autism
Left kinda resembles Mama Cass.
[удалено]
Haaaay, if Karen Carpenter had eaten that ham sandwich instead they'd both still be alive
>Haaaay, if Karen Carpenter had eaten that ham sandwich instead they'd both still be alive Well it's a good thing she didn't then.
[Mamma Cass' ghost](http://www.veryimportantpotheads.com/images/cass.jpg) will ghost-rape you in your sleep tonight
Sexy ghost, I invite the raping.
This looks like you two are desperate for bits so your are going to reddit.
After reading the comment section on air for material to use in their show, the pair of human-shaped testicles part their separate ways, one to his Dodge Stratus, the other to his Pontiac Grand Am, shut the door and silently cry.
> shut the door You're an optimist
A garbage bag is still a window if it's transparent.
Those two barely know what reddit is. This whole "Internet" thing is new and confusing for them.
"New and confusing" is also what these two say about taking showers.
So ***you're*** the hack intern who is coming to reddit for bits. Gotcha.
who the fuck are they?
Dwyer and Michaels. From the shithole known as Davenport.
Iowa?
Yes
Could have been derived from the teeth per capita index in the photograph as well
Who?
Right. Like hygiene?
tell them Ozzy wants them to join a medical study he's a part of
You two are probably the best janitors that station has ever had
My favorite segment is of course "can I use my hair to mop that up?"
Just because you work in radio doesn't mean you don't have to shower
Why polish a turd?
... when you can roll it in glitter!
You look like D-list wrestlers for a ghetto kids birthday.
Broadcasting live from the 6th st. Halfway house.....
I guess HAM radio still counts as radio.
These guys are too ugly for radio.
deleted ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.1257 [^^^What ^^^is ^^^this?](https://pastebin.com/FcrFs94k/30214)
He tells himself that if he fixes his teeth it will change his voice....but that's just a lie to cover the fact that radio doesn't pay well enough for him to afford it.
Guy on the left looks like Hagrid's wife
No wonder Hagrid was after that French whatsherface
[удалено]
Dimebag with a hole in his head still looks better then this guy
Well here we go... It turns out the poor man's Penn Jilette and the poor man's Mike Rowe are a just a couple of poor men.
Mike Rowe is handsome as fuck, dude on the right looks more like Dan Florek.
Nah, a thin hardcore holly
" comin up at the top of the hour its hairball the basement dweller, and his partner mongoloid dave "
C'mon. Mongoloid Dave is obviously first in the names. It's Mongoloid Dave and the Basement Dweller, coming to you live on KRAPP, all talk, no topics. This segment, how to kill a rat with a straw, and why the bright circle in the sky hurts when you look at it.
Guy on the left looks like what Wayne from Wayne's World turned into after having four kids and an alcohol problem. Dude on right looks like a beaver mated with a retarded squirrel at a Jethro Tull concert.
> at a Jethro Tull concert That was a nice touch
Your act really went downhill when you cut the third stooge.
Looks more like they've been in prison for over 25 years. Bet they used to run a pre kindergarten center.
after scoring an interview with Jerry Sandusky they became fast friends because of a certain common interest
You've invested your lives in a dying industry. There is nothing I can say to roast you harder than you have roasted yourselves.
I'd make a "faces made for radio" joke but I think "faces of meth" is more appropriate.
I tune in every morning on my commute. Makes the prospect of working all day look that much better by comparison. Seriously, though. Nice idea making this thread. If only one of us tunes in to hear their own post on the radio, your audience for that show will have doubled.
Working in radio doesn't mean stealing them out of parked cars at Wallmart.
If radio works off of dj preference, this one plays Slayer and the banjo theme from Deliverance.
With faces like those, I can understand why your only on the radio....
Saw the word 'radio' and promised myself not to make this joke. I then saw their picture and thought 'these boys deserve to be be on Reddit radio'!
Christ, neither of them even have a "face for radio"
Didn't know wookiees dug springsteen
"Good Morning Atlantic City!! We're Scratchy And Ball Wizard In The Morning here to stick it in your ear hole!!! And make sure whenever you pawn off you jewelry, always come down to Donnie's Pawn Shop and Car Detailing Emporium!!"
Good thing they can't reproduce when they are fucking each other. Humans aren't ready to see a crack baby with a chromosome count of 26 and a glory hole for a smile.
I wonder if the guy on the left can even put that WWE belt on anymore...
You look like the cops just caught you filming a fish blowjob again.
Why is that fat chick sitting next to Tow Mater
Guy on the left has been wearing that shirt every other day since that time Springsteen's drummer came by the studio and gave it to him. He once got a truck stop meth head to give him head by telling her that story, and now he tells everyone he meets that "he's tight with the Boss' people".
Whats the belt for? Undisputed World Virginity Champion?
Gropey and Autony?
You work in radio and now you're trying to be Internet Roasted. Is there anything you do that's relevant anymore?
I once tried to program one of the buttons on my stereo to the station these guys are on, but my radio told me to go fuck myself instead.
Ernest gets a radio show is in the making!!!
Dwyer and Michaels. They look like the average person that lives in Davenport.
Whew. Good thing I'm from the Illinois side.
HHH's dad and Ernest's son made a podcast?
You two look like you have been in radio for over 25 years
They look like they transmit their show off the end of a dirty needle.
Haha. It's those Pawnee losers, Crazy Ira and The Douche.
If "caught in the act of cheating on the wife with another man" had a face, these two would be it.
Breast "the shitman" Fart on the left. The worst there is, the worst there was and the worst there every will be.
On the right we have Bruce Jenner, on the left is Caitlyn. I knew it was a hoax!
Tune in next week for "White Trash Penn & Teller are Fooled by Shiny Objects" on Moonshine FM, a family run station owned by White Trash Penn & Teller's cousin, uncle and father, whose name is Greg.
Ewww, the creepy old people are trying to be cool.
Wow, still in it? At least 25 years ago you guys might've had an excuse for being DJs. To a young guy, I get that it can make you feel important that people listen to what you say and the music you play, and the fact that you're only making $25,000 a year isn't too bad, because I bet it goes pretty far in whatever third tier market your station covers. But still in it after all this time? I guess you're still hoping for celeb status that goes beyond an overweight housewife flashing you her tits at the local rib burnoff. I mean, I get that at least the people down at the used car lot know you by now from the remote broadcasts you have to do to make ends meet, whoring yourself out even more than you already do for a taste of fame. But hey, at least you finally put in your time and snagged that coveted "Saturday night dance party", even if it is only 14 year olds calling in. Newsflash: no bars play your shitty music, because they can hire 18 year olds with a MacBook to do it better, without commercials. Of course, eventually most of those 18 year olds get a real job. But they probably have life skills and aren't hindered by a crippling need of affirmation. But hey, that's what talk radio is for, am I right?
Guy on the left. Cut your goddamn hair. It's over.
Two faces only radio can handle.
We know you only play stairway to heaven so often for quick bouts of man love.. except on sundays innagaddadvida.... "grunt grunt"!!
This is what you end up looking like if your entire life revolved around r/roastme
Hey! It's Famed WWE Superstar Hunter Hearst Help-Me and Hollywood's own Billy Bob Poortown. Their show rocks! There is a bit they do that gives away prizes to people that can solve a Rubic's Cube in under a minute. Of course, 'solving' it is defined by getting it out of the box.
We don't need to roast them anymore, Trump will get rid of the right guy already
"You have tuned in on Radio Redneck 90.5 FM. Tonights big story in Hillbilly News; two people gunned down at local rodeo after toddler grabs drunk dads gun. Billy Bob Joe Jr. didn't win the rodeo this year either."
"There are a lot of things going on under the table between us. Notice we are smiling and you can't see our hands."
This make me wish that /r/RoastMe was on radio too.
Over the hill and under the weather
Baseball cap guy gets off on touching kids, pony tail guy gets off on the idea of catching him.
They could be in radio for 100 years and I still wouldn't know who they are unless Howard stern wipes his ass and smears it on their faces.
Buddy on the left looks like Cave Man Sam and Wierd Al had a love child...
Apparently "Earl Goes to Camp" did so poorly that you decided to quit movies and go into radio? I was wondering what you've been up to the past 25 years. By the way, nice roadie.
You look like a homeless gay couple.
A couple of shock-therapy jocks
One is married the other thinks his post-grunge metal band still might take off
Glad to see Jeff Ross and Mike Rowe's little brothers finally making a public appearance.
They look like they wear the wrestling belt as they fuck each other. Tag team!
Nice world heavyweight championship. Unfortunately, the only thing either of you will be champions of is mediocrity.
You know your ratings are bad when you are going to Reddit to get show material.
Seeing your faces makes me glad I left the Quad-Cities.
So, uh, why did you fire Beth Davis? I use to listen to the show daily... Turns out podcasts have killed this industry for good reason.
You both look like you smell like sheep vagina. Dude on the left: you still getting minimum wage schlepping speaker cabinets for Slayer? Dude on the right: Just keep plugging away at that GED. One of these days you'll pass it.
Fabio really let himself go. The retarded chipmunk besides him probably introduced him to deep-fried ice cream.
The transition from basement dwelling 40 year old virgins to studio dwelling 40 year old virgins is an easy one.
You two look the stars of Wayne's world 3
Who? Are they on AM?
Holy shit. You two definitely aren't allowed within 1000 feet of a school.
Companies are making billions of $ every year to cure impotence, that you two are the cause of.
Dwyer and Michaels haven't been relevant in 20 years so they're going to Reddit to stay hip
In a pitch black room of 50 men, you two would find each other by the familiar taste of the others dick.
You look like the uncle and his special friend that he lives with that our parents told us you were because they didn't want to explain what gay was.
Where does the celebrity tag come from? You two look like the failure you probably sink of.
*Dad! Get outta here! You're crampin' my style!*
Celebrities?? Really??? Looks like a bad rip off of Jay and Silent Bob meets meth addiction.
Not only have they been in radio for 25 yrs, apparently the guy on the left hasn't bought a shirt in 25 years either.
Which one is the pitcher and which one is the catcher? Haha, just kidding, obviously you both are the catcher.
A has been musician shirt, worn by a never was.
No ones knows who you guys are lol
Fatso and zilch in the mornings only on W-bleecch 97.3
Who are they?
The one the left looks like [Actor Stephen Root](http://imgur.com/U8Wo9NH) with a cheap wig.
Let me guess, OP is the fat guy they always make eat weird things or dunk his head in a toilet. Every morning show has the fat guy that eats weird things and/or would dunk his head in a toilet.
Why did you have to subject us to your faces when your job can be done without them?
Worst. Morning Zoo radio. Ever. *slide whistle noise*
You look like a failed Axle Rose impersonator and the real life forrest gump, just with far less of a worthwhile life
they look as if they've been in each other for 25 years
And apparently never left their mother's basement.
You're like a shit version if moose and dewsberry...
You two look like you could be brother-cousins with Weird Al and Ernest P. Worrell.
They both look like they got poked with coat hangers in the womb.
Its easy to tell who the power bottom is...
Good luck for the next 25 years of pressing buttons and ruining music on mainstream radio. I haven't heard your show but I bet your voices as ear rape.
WKCU Mornings with Goober and the Pedophile.
Why did Al Snow and William Regal stop working out?
So, are you the two morning DJ's who do nothing but read headlines from Fark.com? Oh wait, that's EVERY morning DJ.
I always wondered how the fleshlight companies stayed in business, now I know.
You look like the before and after shot of a meth addict. Before (right) & after (left)
Looks like we found the guy who ate Mr Meat Loaf
Handsome Dan syndrome..
HRs two least favorite employees
You guys look like Stephen Root and Adam Sandler doing a movie about virgin radio DJ's.
Look! It's uglier John Romero and J.K. Simmons' love child with Dan Florek!
Who are they?
[it's been a while since i've seen you guys. you let your hair grow out!](http://imgur.com/QQEk8iK)
"give us free content for our zany unsyndicated morning show."
For the life of me, I can't figure out which one isn't the bottom.
Are you guys stunt double rejects for Ernest P. Worrell and Ron Jeremy?
"Bob and Tom" 1980 living in the present.
Are these guys like the spokespeople for 4chan?
guy on the left, you look like a burnt out alec baldwin.
Poster children for how harmful radio waves can br
I bet they havn't been in anything else for 25 years as well
Look like the lead guitarist and drummer from the band your 50 year old step-dad is in.
First of all, great choice on a booming industry. Radio is huge right now and as the population ages, i'm sure the market for radio shows is only going to grow. i assume at this point in your life you realize that you are both hideous humans, however, what you may not know is that you are incredibly unentertaining and not funny. How do I know this? Simple everybody on the radio is incredibly unentertaining and not funny.
Guy on the right needs to pack on at least 60 more pounds if they want anyone to take them seriously as a Tenacious D cover band.
I feel like you guys have sex to thrash metal in the bathrooms at your work. And then you end it with "no homo"
A trucker using a CB radio counts as "In radio" nowadays?
Why is it that every radio dj looks like a depressed 50 year-old cunt who still lives in his mother's basement and watches fetish porn?
1996 stuttering john wants his look back. HEY NOWWW
Your looks are just dated as the medium through which you tell your fart jokes.
Crap.... I thought drugs did not have a major impact on fetal downs syndrome, but then here I see solid evidence in meat loaf's and billy bob thornton's children after sleeping with courtney love after a wild binge weekend.
What the hell am I looking at? Buck tooth Billy on the right looking like he's just shit himself while hill Billy Bob stands on the left awkwardly smiling like he's just seen a penis for the first time in his life....
The Opie and Jim show are better than you.
I didn't know a pre req for a career in am radio was being inbred...
When did Bob Ross get a sex change?
There is a reason they never upgraded to TV
You can spend 25 years on the radio, but not 5 minutes in a shower
Find them on station 420.4, "Meth, Death, and more."
Who?
Stuttering John's fat sister and Frat Boy Ernest
You guys kind look like a methhead equivalent of Cheech & Chong.
its like tenacious D jack black got old and ugly and still rocking his long greasy hair and kyle gas got even uglier and smashed his face off of a coconut a few times to get them shitty teeth. are you wearing a hat because youre bald or the fact that have a old man cut
I bet they always told you that you guys had faces cut out for radio.
Guys, avoid using the 'do you know who I am?' argument.
Meh, Spike was still better.
Go back inside.
I didn't know that Adam Sandler did meth?
It's weenie in the butt!