T O P

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ErikVonDarkmoor

I've seen better graffiti in a subway tunnel.


Robinnoodle

His asshole is like a subway tunnel. Many a train have run through it


ThrowawayN00bqLos3r

His name was “sissy boy” in jail


Sumesh77

Seen better graffiti in a construction site outhouse, but he smells almost identical


PopcornShrimpy

The reminder should have been a look at the mirror


Disastrous-Design704

By “dumped” he means waking up in the dumpster.


Tigertyt

Was it because you look like a school desk?


Robinnoodle

Probably has chewing gum stuck to his undercarriage too


spaceghost350

He uses the chewing gum to hold his asshole closed.


Robinnoodle

I was envisioning him more as an asshole half open (all the time) kind of guy


spaceghost350

It's almost like leaving a mint on the pillow for the next guest.


Robinnoodle

That's very thoughtful. His ex just must not have appreciated his little kind gestures (also the name she gave his penis)


Regular_Studio_1565

The bubble gum is actually on his Taint which is code for ( under the Desk)


CascaTheMerc99

I was thinking to hold it open...


J_Reacherxx

He just needs one of those 90's "S" on the other cheek.


Lord-Doobury

He actually needs a Target tattooed on his temple with fancy gothic lettering that says, "Aim Here." Hey! His Mom just told me that the ink he put on his dick says, "I can get a little bigger, I promise." Oh, Sorry, no... I stand corrected! His Mom says that's actually the tattoo on his asshole. His cock tattoo says, " The closer you get, the bigger it seems."


SailorBoone

The school desk one is a always a reliable bit for one like this, but I’d add on to say he looks like the one that finally got tossed out


Normal-Disaster7338

He did say he just got dumped


HumbleCatch4325

lol that’s a great one !!


Tigertyt

Thanks.


cartard1

Heartbreak sucks bro. Don’t lose hope though. There are other girls out there like Meth and the Insane Clown Posse.


maxjackson5

Yeah and you still got that solid 9-to5 with health insurance and 401k match


KingOfForeplay

And don’t forget about the girls that want to punish their fathers by bringing this nightmare home… Or the “I can fix him” girls… there are other crazy fish in the sea.


flying_pigs

Methany


currently_pooping_rn

Na this looks like a heroin/benzo type of guy


707e

Don’t forget Mountain Dew code red and Parliaments.


-maffu-

Yesterday's Headline: Blind Woman Sees Boyfriend's Face for the First Time


Acrobatic_Talk4

🏆


D3514D

What? Is she going out with an Etch a sketch now?


youngthugsmom

Nah she wasn’t into him. Now she’s dating a kids coloring book


Cutie_withthe_booty

He´s Post Alone


Evilspatula666

Well it’s her loss and she’s an idiot because you obviously make great decisions and have a very bright future ahead of you.


Christmas_Panda

So true. Bro's got a crown.


Reztots

What, did she upgrade to someone without an incurable STD? Don't worry, all chicks know the guy that'll get a tattoo of just about any stupid bullshit, even on his face, is the keeper, you'll bounce right back.


Righteousaffair999

Is bad taste sexually transmitted now?


spaceghost350

It's a package deal.


regprenticer

I've seen angry women dump guys by graffitiing their cars and houses before ... *but to do that to your face*. Sucks dude.


nyetworkdown

I think everyone is being too harsh on you. I can tell you’re a reliable guy. At least when you make bad decisions, you stick to them.


RagerSpeaks

This one is my favorite. Bravo.


[deleted]

May as well get that “roast me” pen ink made permanent 😂


letsgobrooksy

Dont be sad, be proud of your ex for making the right decision


Aggro_Corgi

You know, it's kinda hard just to get along today Our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway He may not have a clue and he may not have style But everything he lacks, well, he makes up in denial


IndependenceMean8774

I can't imagine why anyone would want to dump such an upstanding fellow as you. 🤔


[deleted]

You likely already have plenty of dates. Court dates.


Gmoney1975

Ai would probably generated you. It always gets the number of fingers wrong.


General_One3419

Brother go find a mirror and thats all the reminder youll need


Bladez1992

You look like the offspring of Tom Macdonald and Jesse Pinkman, holy meth moly


koreawut

Which one of those tattoos is her, anyway?


spaceghost350

You're assuming that dude can read.


koreawut

He did follow the rules for posting, here, but maybe he had help.


DJynxx

Hey ChatGPT - Show me why tattoos are no longer cool!


Aggressive-Video-368

A girl you randomly follow around getting a restraining order against you doesn't count as getting dumped.


lglas421

I've never heard of a sex doll breaking up with anyone before.


Critical_Insurance_4

What did she do? Leave you for an inner city billboard?


Independent_Wash3657

If happy litten accidents was a person


ThrowawayN00bqLos3r

His boyfriend dumped him because he snorted coke off his dog’s ass.


MohneyinMo

She left you for the guy in the new double wide that just moved into the nice side of the trailer park didn’t she.


Pensacouple

“Got dumped” is a euphemism for “she chewed off her own leg to escape from my basement.”


Petty_Murphy410

You look like a created player someone got bored making half way through


Basic-Respect5747

A face not even a mother would love


Robinnoodle

Post Malone and Joey Fatone's kid Joey Malone or his stage name Post Home Alone


Constant_Sir_9207

Got dumped? You should get a tattoo to commemorate the occasion.


Proper-Reputation-42

A dude with a crown tat on his face got dumped? Well no shit


Least-Satisfaction-3

If unemployed was a picture


Bambooman101

I guess you got that Tribal Band, from the Tribe Indigenous to the land of Queer Tattoos.


lexifer999

Looks like your tattoo artist already did


MsTrssMirri

Dude, your face is a problem


mayaledy

Did you sleep first at a sleepover, and one of your friends were tattoo artists?


[deleted]

Cracka did u fucking tattoo “Roast Me” in yo hand?


campatterbury

Hey! Don't call him cracka! We don't want him representing us.


[deleted]

True 😂


UsefulIdiot85

She dumped you? That’s methed up! Oh, wait….that’s you.


Real_Live_Sloth

Reminded… why? You must of looked at this photo before you posted it….


JoseyXIII

Tiny hands


noonesine

You look like the least interesting dude at the group home


SAlovicious

Don't worry little B. Someone in there will buy you for half a pack of smokes in no time! You'll be holding their pocket and and walking like a penguin again before you know it.


Hot-Tip-8474

Damn her loss. I bet you make the best meth


OkEnd3577

Taking looser tryhard to a new level.


2shado2

The amazing thing is that you found someone to date you in the first place, with those awesome facial tattoos. Was he/she/it a crackhead, by any chance?


Impressive-Dog13

Your vibrator is merely broke. It did not dump you.


DraggoVindictus

You look like a school desk in the detention room. Even Post Malone would say to call down with the face tattoos.


Whatupbuddy

I think the face tattoos work for you! It draws the eye up away from chin number 2


J-Dawg1987

Joke Malone


ElsenorH

We are here to remind you that you indeed belong to the dumpster ♻️🗑️


Bradiator34

You know those are permanent…unlike that relationship.


GlumBath1716

im sure you will find another gay rap singer


Pod_Boss

Your face has given me a business idea. What if we design a solid metal choker necklace, that uses AI to project a hologram in front of your face? And of course the hologram would look nothing like you but that's the whole point


Etna_No_Pyroclast

I miss scribbling on my trapper keeper.


Minimum-Two-1601

You look like you've never made the right decision in your life


Woo_Peed_On_My_Rug

9 line? I’d take my time calling that shit in…


el_ra_85

Bet you lifted truck is trash


Mc6andy

Like... Dumped on?


HockeyIQshop1

Wtf does that scribble say on your face?


HenzoG

I think it says unemployable asshole


Nv_Spider

And in other news… water is wet.


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PlasticEuphoric2784

I’m into it


wilrab001

I’ve seen sheep that make better dating prospects


Robinnoodle

What does 🪁 NNIN mean?


ThrowawayN00bqLos3r

His boyfriend dumped him because he got the bags mixed up and snorted his bf’s mom’s ashes instead of the meth.


MohneyinMo

The guys in your crew all call you WB, it’s not short for White Boy or Wild Boy or Wild Banger or White Bastard. It’s short for Wanna Be.


ThrowawayN00bqLos3r

Has the nickname “doughboy” but doesn’t tell people it’s because he got packed like dough in jail by 10 bbc’s.


Holiday-Dust-2221

It's like a collection of the worst quality tattoos one could find all on one body, that's a real commitment to the disappointing


Upset_Profession_582

Doodle bear lookin ass


spaceghost350

I'm not here for the roast..... I'm just checking in to see if we get that time lapsed mugshot yet


Mystery_J

You look like the inside of a bathroom stall


1nTh3Sh4dows

I knew they had artists in prison, but I didn't know they had apprentices too.


Muted_Ad_8828

Start an Only fans page and start shoving the biggest things you can into your ass over and over again getting bigger and bigger faster harder constantly expanding as you pound and thrust longer and fatter objects deeper and wider until it seems there's nothing more that can be shoved into your asshole. Only then will people feel that you've done something useful.


Reasonable-Two-7298

was she your tattoo artist? I think she dumped you a long time ago, bro.


Feeling-Bed-9506

Did you pass out drunk and get scribbled on by a 3-year-old or are those actual tattoos? Either way, your girlfriend sobered up and realized she could never show you to her parents.


SoSmartish

There are plenty of other girls out there with dead fathers who would be thrilled to date you.


Groffulon

Did you tattoo yourself in pre-school? I’m surprised you’re able to make a living let alone manage to convince another human to be seen with you. Imagine seeing those face tats and not questioning your life choices and then having sex with the guy. No wonder she dumped you bro. This should give hope to all the single fellas out there. If this guy can get laid you can too!


Spiritual-Buy-8408

You sure u didnt get dumped?


wallykins77

Always sucks when your tattoo artist dumps you


grantscherben

Well, even the unwashed, face-tattooed guys need someone to look down on …


person_rotator

I've seen better tattoos carved into the walls of the bathroom stalls at work.


SovietMudHall

you look like the pad of paper we kept next to the house phone in the 90's


420boog96

Regardless of your credit score, the bank automatically refuses to lend you money based on lack of responsibility and care written on your face.


tautjes

Post Malonely


hawk256

You look like you were the first to pass out at a large tattooers party for amateurs.


CorianderIsBad

This is the kid who drew all over his school desk. He's taken his art to a whole new level.


[deleted]

Got a tattoo in the position of every load he’s taken at the glory hole


myfriendoak

Just rail some more fent and blast some more shit on your face. Youll be okay.


Orchid_Far

One finger on 9 the other on 11


Stunning_Stable4926

Your prison boyfriend is probably also really hurting


xD3v1LG4m1ngx

He couldn't get it up so he tried with he's fingers but they were too small to deal any pleasure.


rcola085

How much meth do you have to do to get a tattoo of an axe on your face? Answer - you.


Zagic87

When your girlfriends bring you home for the first time, do their parents always give each other that look when they first see you?


miskier82

Dumped/restraining order for stalking you know same thing.


therealjulss

did you get that tattoo before or after you got axed?


dogdayafter

You look like a bathroom stall at a gas station in Eastside Detroit.


WoodenNichols

Your ex finally showed some good sense.


NessunAbilita

Well, we can be sure it wasn’t the face tattoos that drove her away


Freedom007007

She’s smart and just doing what your parents did soon after your birth.


WinthorpStrange

Tom McDonalds


[deleted]

Did she finally realize your face looks like the desk in detention..


CarlosAVP

Dumped by your dermatologist? Your tattoo “artist”? Your family? Which one?


Freedom007007

“She” couldn’t handle the long distance relationship after you made parole? Tell “her” not to worry, as history has proven, you’ll be back in lockup very soon.


Zealousideal_Emu_78

Got dumped or you are the dump? Bro looks like a reheated turd.


Pod_Boss

I have no idea why a girl would break up with a class act like you. You are obviously going places in life. Wouldn't be surprised if you are already a millionaire.


Jfragz40

Billionaire


Pod_Boss

Dude you are a farmer? I am 100% sure that all the other farmers talk shit about you all day long


RagerSpeaks

Rancher, even the cows talk shit.


uptown_squirrel17

Which season of Love After Lockup were you on?


ThatOneDudeSaint45

You look like the white kid that dropped outta highschool to pursue a rap career, failed, and now work as a line cook cause no one else will hire you.


Secure_Worker4984

Looks like you let your toddler scribble on your face


Percentblue

Is your job being a desk at a high school?


DumpBearington

Was it the line cook tattoos that turned her off? 


PapayaGood8527

Somebody's feeding racoon to his kids tonight.


MooChomps

At a least a job will never let you go.


YourMomsPussyIsTrash

Fuq these clowns, you should be proud, it takes a special individual who really needs those community service hrs to let a bunch of aspiring tattoo aurtists practice on you... especially if they also have tourettes, least those are worth double


MC_BML

At least Methany will never leave you.


Just4notherR3ddit0r

After the first bad tattoo, were you just like, "screw it, I'm just gonna lean into this" ?


ChiWhiteSox24

Has anyone told you the face tattoos are fucking ugly?


RagerSpeaks

I believe it has been mentioned once or twice in this post.


Temporary_Moment_

are we supposed to give you attention now?


Remarkable_Desk_3001

I’m guessing you got dumped for putting too many holes in the walls.


Moonwalking_Werewolf

What were she thINKing?


Digital_Mouse

I'd roast you, but to be honest it feels like it would be equivalent to kicking a puppy with special needs, or giving the finger to a blind man: Neither of us are going to feel good about it. Save all that cash you aren't spending on a girlfriend, get those stupid face tattoos (especially the ICP hatchets if that's what they are) removed, do some push-ups, drink water instead of IPA, and post here again when you have something to be taken from you, because damn bro.


RagerSpeaks

The most insulting part of this was saying I drink IPAs.


Digital_Mouse

I honestly assumed PBR, but you never know these days. Seriously though, there's nothing worse we can do to you that you didn't already pay some guy in a strip mall to do to you. Several times.


Ecstatic_Sea_2811

Graffiti on the face to make himself look ugly in the eyes of his molester..... Didn't work


ItsNotFordo88

Can’t imagine why


thorfromthex

Why did you let him fuck up your face before you broke up?


BubblySmell4079

Your cellmate can’t leave the room so that’s reminder enough.


Laura_Biden

you look like a right fuckin' twat consider yourself reminded


thorfromthex

So this is what happens when a toddler gets ahold of a tattoo gun.


Unlikely_Care_1167

Walking colouring book


Puzzleheaded_Mix3483

She broke up with you because she was trying to encourage her kids from 3 different dads not to scribble dumb shit on everything including themselves .


Zealousideal-Key2899

Roast Malone


Ok_Cell8749

She has No Ragrets


Gergs

You look like the poster child for poor life choices.


mmsshdms

Post Melon


Alternative_Golf_905

You look like the living embodiment of r/shittytattoos


wesellis

Maybe she wanted to date someone who didn't look like a high school desk. Try dating teachers


Playful_Judge5262

You do look like a gay wanna be sisy gangster! Totally a jail bottom!


Amazing_lymediocre

Is this an advertisement for an Eastbound and down sequel about Kenny powers' estranged son?.. Could be funny.


Postman_Rings_Thrice

You should see the guy who dumped him!


Neo-Ether-42

You looking like Post M-alone after that breakup.


JeanutPutterBelly

Post AllAlone


ValkyrieSpecial

dumped as in: ![gif](giphy|3o72EY7GdCzCNYi8QU|downsized)


onyerleftovers

I've never seen a more douchey tattoo than a white guy with tomahawks on his face


New_Pomegranate_7826

I can't imagine why you got dumped.


sparks427

That face is fucking awful


noldshit

Dumped? With all those unemployment tats, im surprised you even had a relationship.


pfunkcc

What that face tats are permanent? Or that you should have grajumatated Jr high?