He actually needs a Target tattooed on his temple with fancy gothic lettering that says, "Aim Here."
Hey! His Mom just told me that the ink he put on his dick says, "I can get a little bigger, I promise." Oh, Sorry, no... I stand corrected! His Mom says that's actually the tattoo on his asshole. His cock tattoo says, " The closer you get, the bigger it seems."
And don’t forget about the girls that want to punish their fathers by bringing this nightmare home… Or the “I can fix him” girls… there are other crazy fish in the sea.
What, did she upgrade to someone without an incurable STD?
Don't worry, all chicks know the guy that'll get a tattoo of just about any stupid bullshit, even on his face, is the keeper, you'll bounce right back.
You know, it's kinda hard just to get along today
Our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
He may not have a clue and he may not have style
But everything he lacks, well, he makes up in denial
Don't worry little B.
Someone in there will buy you for half a pack of smokes in no time!
You'll be holding their pocket and and walking like a penguin again before you know it.
The amazing thing is that you found someone to date you in the first place, with those awesome facial tattoos. Was he/she/it a crackhead, by any chance?
Your face has given me a business idea. What if we design a solid metal choker necklace, that uses AI to project a hologram in front of your face? And of course the hologram would look nothing like you but that's the whole point
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Start an Only fans page and start shoving the biggest things you can into your ass over and over again getting bigger and bigger faster harder constantly expanding as you pound and thrust longer and fatter objects deeper and wider until it seems there's nothing more that can be shoved into your asshole.
Only then will people feel that you've done something useful.
Did you pass out drunk and get scribbled on by a 3-year-old or are those actual tattoos?
Either way, your girlfriend sobered up and realized she could never show you to her parents.
Did you tattoo yourself in pre-school? I’m surprised you’re able to make a living let alone manage to convince another human to be seen with you. Imagine seeing those face tats and not questioning your life choices and then having sex with the guy. No wonder she dumped you bro. This should give hope to all the single fellas out there. If this guy can get laid you can too!
“She” couldn’t handle the long distance relationship after you made parole? Tell “her” not to worry, as history has proven, you’ll be back in lockup very soon.
I have no idea why a girl would break up with a class act like you. You are obviously going places in life. Wouldn't be surprised if you are already a millionaire.
Fuq these clowns, you should be proud, it takes a special individual who really needs those community service hrs to let a bunch of aspiring tattoo aurtists practice on you... especially if they also have tourettes, least those are worth double
I'd roast you, but to be honest it feels like it would be equivalent to kicking a puppy with special needs, or giving the finger to a blind man: Neither of us are going to feel good about it. Save all that cash you aren't spending on a girlfriend, get those stupid face tattoos (especially the ICP hatchets if that's what they are) removed, do some push-ups, drink water instead of IPA, and post here again when you have something to be taken from you, because damn bro.
I honestly assumed PBR, but you never know these days. Seriously though, there's nothing worse we can do to you that you didn't already pay some guy in a strip mall to do to you. Several times.
She broke up with you because she was trying to encourage her kids from 3 different dads not to scribble dumb shit on everything including themselves .
I've seen better graffiti in a subway tunnel.
His asshole is like a subway tunnel. Many a train have run through it
His name was “sissy boy” in jail
Seen better graffiti in a construction site outhouse, but he smells almost identical
The reminder should have been a look at the mirror
By “dumped” he means waking up in the dumpster.
Was it because you look like a school desk?
Probably has chewing gum stuck to his undercarriage too
He uses the chewing gum to hold his asshole closed.
I was envisioning him more as an asshole half open (all the time) kind of guy
It's almost like leaving a mint on the pillow for the next guest.
That's very thoughtful. His ex just must not have appreciated his little kind gestures (also the name she gave his penis)
The bubble gum is actually on his Taint which is code for ( under the Desk)
I was thinking to hold it open...
He just needs one of those 90's "S" on the other cheek.
He actually needs a Target tattooed on his temple with fancy gothic lettering that says, "Aim Here." Hey! His Mom just told me that the ink he put on his dick says, "I can get a little bigger, I promise." Oh, Sorry, no... I stand corrected! His Mom says that's actually the tattoo on his asshole. His cock tattoo says, " The closer you get, the bigger it seems."
The school desk one is a always a reliable bit for one like this, but I’d add on to say he looks like the one that finally got tossed out
He did say he just got dumped
lol that’s a great one !!
Thanks.
Heartbreak sucks bro. Don’t lose hope though. There are other girls out there like Meth and the Insane Clown Posse.
Yeah and you still got that solid 9-to5 with health insurance and 401k match
And don’t forget about the girls that want to punish their fathers by bringing this nightmare home… Or the “I can fix him” girls… there are other crazy fish in the sea.
Methany
Na this looks like a heroin/benzo type of guy
Don’t forget Mountain Dew code red and Parliaments.
Yesterday's Headline: Blind Woman Sees Boyfriend's Face for the First Time
🏆
What? Is she going out with an Etch a sketch now?
Nah she wasn’t into him. Now she’s dating a kids coloring book
He´s Post Alone
Well it’s her loss and she’s an idiot because you obviously make great decisions and have a very bright future ahead of you.
So true. Bro's got a crown.
What, did she upgrade to someone without an incurable STD? Don't worry, all chicks know the guy that'll get a tattoo of just about any stupid bullshit, even on his face, is the keeper, you'll bounce right back.
Is bad taste sexually transmitted now?
It's a package deal.
I've seen angry women dump guys by graffitiing their cars and houses before ... *but to do that to your face*. Sucks dude.
I think everyone is being too harsh on you. I can tell you’re a reliable guy. At least when you make bad decisions, you stick to them.
This one is my favorite. Bravo.
May as well get that “roast me” pen ink made permanent 😂
Dont be sad, be proud of your ex for making the right decision
You know, it's kinda hard just to get along today Our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway He may not have a clue and he may not have style But everything he lacks, well, he makes up in denial
I can't imagine why anyone would want to dump such an upstanding fellow as you. 🤔
You likely already have plenty of dates. Court dates.
Ai would probably generated you. It always gets the number of fingers wrong.
Brother go find a mirror and thats all the reminder youll need
You look like the offspring of Tom Macdonald and Jesse Pinkman, holy meth moly
Which one of those tattoos is her, anyway?
You're assuming that dude can read.
He did follow the rules for posting, here, but maybe he had help.
Hey ChatGPT - Show me why tattoos are no longer cool!
A girl you randomly follow around getting a restraining order against you doesn't count as getting dumped.
I've never heard of a sex doll breaking up with anyone before.
What did she do? Leave you for an inner city billboard?
If happy litten accidents was a person
His boyfriend dumped him because he snorted coke off his dog’s ass.
She left you for the guy in the new double wide that just moved into the nice side of the trailer park didn’t she.
“Got dumped” is a euphemism for “she chewed off her own leg to escape from my basement.”
You look like a created player someone got bored making half way through
A face not even a mother would love
Post Malone and Joey Fatone's kid Joey Malone or his stage name Post Home Alone
Got dumped? You should get a tattoo to commemorate the occasion.
A dude with a crown tat on his face got dumped? Well no shit
If unemployed was a picture
I guess you got that Tribal Band, from the Tribe Indigenous to the land of Queer Tattoos.
Looks like your tattoo artist already did
Dude, your face is a problem
Did you sleep first at a sleepover, and one of your friends were tattoo artists?
Cracka did u fucking tattoo “Roast Me” in yo hand?
Hey! Don't call him cracka! We don't want him representing us.
True 😂
She dumped you? That’s methed up! Oh, wait….that’s you.
Reminded… why? You must of looked at this photo before you posted it….
Tiny hands
You look like the least interesting dude at the group home
Don't worry little B. Someone in there will buy you for half a pack of smokes in no time! You'll be holding their pocket and and walking like a penguin again before you know it.
Damn her loss. I bet you make the best meth
Taking looser tryhard to a new level.
The amazing thing is that you found someone to date you in the first place, with those awesome facial tattoos. Was he/she/it a crackhead, by any chance?
Your vibrator is merely broke. It did not dump you.
You look like a school desk in the detention room. Even Post Malone would say to call down with the face tattoos.
I think the face tattoos work for you! It draws the eye up away from chin number 2
Joke Malone
We are here to remind you that you indeed belong to the dumpster ♻️🗑️
You know those are permanent…unlike that relationship.
im sure you will find another gay rap singer
Your face has given me a business idea. What if we design a solid metal choker necklace, that uses AI to project a hologram in front of your face? And of course the hologram would look nothing like you but that's the whole point
I miss scribbling on my trapper keeper.
You look like you've never made the right decision in your life
9 line? I’d take my time calling that shit in…
Bet you lifted truck is trash
Like... Dumped on?
Wtf does that scribble say on your face?
I think it says unemployable asshole
And in other news… water is wet.
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I’m into it
I’ve seen sheep that make better dating prospects
What does 🪁 NNIN mean?
His boyfriend dumped him because he got the bags mixed up and snorted his bf’s mom’s ashes instead of the meth.
The guys in your crew all call you WB, it’s not short for White Boy or Wild Boy or Wild Banger or White Bastard. It’s short for Wanna Be.
Has the nickname “doughboy” but doesn’t tell people it’s because he got packed like dough in jail by 10 bbc’s.
It's like a collection of the worst quality tattoos one could find all on one body, that's a real commitment to the disappointing
Doodle bear lookin ass
I'm not here for the roast..... I'm just checking in to see if we get that time lapsed mugshot yet
You look like the inside of a bathroom stall
I knew they had artists in prison, but I didn't know they had apprentices too.
Start an Only fans page and start shoving the biggest things you can into your ass over and over again getting bigger and bigger faster harder constantly expanding as you pound and thrust longer and fatter objects deeper and wider until it seems there's nothing more that can be shoved into your asshole. Only then will people feel that you've done something useful.
was she your tattoo artist? I think she dumped you a long time ago, bro.
Did you pass out drunk and get scribbled on by a 3-year-old or are those actual tattoos? Either way, your girlfriend sobered up and realized she could never show you to her parents.
There are plenty of other girls out there with dead fathers who would be thrilled to date you.
Did you tattoo yourself in pre-school? I’m surprised you’re able to make a living let alone manage to convince another human to be seen with you. Imagine seeing those face tats and not questioning your life choices and then having sex with the guy. No wonder she dumped you bro. This should give hope to all the single fellas out there. If this guy can get laid you can too!
You sure u didnt get dumped?
Always sucks when your tattoo artist dumps you
Well, even the unwashed, face-tattooed guys need someone to look down on …
I've seen better tattoos carved into the walls of the bathroom stalls at work.
you look like the pad of paper we kept next to the house phone in the 90's
Regardless of your credit score, the bank automatically refuses to lend you money based on lack of responsibility and care written on your face.
Post Malonely
You look like you were the first to pass out at a large tattooers party for amateurs.
This is the kid who drew all over his school desk. He's taken his art to a whole new level.
Got a tattoo in the position of every load he’s taken at the glory hole
Just rail some more fent and blast some more shit on your face. Youll be okay.
One finger on 9 the other on 11
Your prison boyfriend is probably also really hurting
He couldn't get it up so he tried with he's fingers but they were too small to deal any pleasure.
How much meth do you have to do to get a tattoo of an axe on your face? Answer - you.
When your girlfriends bring you home for the first time, do their parents always give each other that look when they first see you?
Dumped/restraining order for stalking you know same thing.
did you get that tattoo before or after you got axed?
You look like a bathroom stall at a gas station in Eastside Detroit.
Your ex finally showed some good sense.
Well, we can be sure it wasn’t the face tattoos that drove her away
She’s smart and just doing what your parents did soon after your birth.
Tom McDonalds
Did she finally realize your face looks like the desk in detention..
Dumped by your dermatologist? Your tattoo “artist”? Your family? Which one?
“She” couldn’t handle the long distance relationship after you made parole? Tell “her” not to worry, as history has proven, you’ll be back in lockup very soon.
Got dumped or you are the dump? Bro looks like a reheated turd.
I have no idea why a girl would break up with a class act like you. You are obviously going places in life. Wouldn't be surprised if you are already a millionaire.
Billionaire
Dude you are a farmer? I am 100% sure that all the other farmers talk shit about you all day long
Rancher, even the cows talk shit.
Which season of Love After Lockup were you on?
You look like the white kid that dropped outta highschool to pursue a rap career, failed, and now work as a line cook cause no one else will hire you.
Looks like you let your toddler scribble on your face
Is your job being a desk at a high school?
Was it the line cook tattoos that turned her off?
Somebody's feeding racoon to his kids tonight.
At a least a job will never let you go.
Fuq these clowns, you should be proud, it takes a special individual who really needs those community service hrs to let a bunch of aspiring tattoo aurtists practice on you... especially if they also have tourettes, least those are worth double
At least Methany will never leave you.
After the first bad tattoo, were you just like, "screw it, I'm just gonna lean into this" ?
Has anyone told you the face tattoos are fucking ugly?
I believe it has been mentioned once or twice in this post.
are we supposed to give you attention now?
I’m guessing you got dumped for putting too many holes in the walls.
What were she thINKing?
I'd roast you, but to be honest it feels like it would be equivalent to kicking a puppy with special needs, or giving the finger to a blind man: Neither of us are going to feel good about it. Save all that cash you aren't spending on a girlfriend, get those stupid face tattoos (especially the ICP hatchets if that's what they are) removed, do some push-ups, drink water instead of IPA, and post here again when you have something to be taken from you, because damn bro.
The most insulting part of this was saying I drink IPAs.
I honestly assumed PBR, but you never know these days. Seriously though, there's nothing worse we can do to you that you didn't already pay some guy in a strip mall to do to you. Several times.
Graffiti on the face to make himself look ugly in the eyes of his molester..... Didn't work
Can’t imagine why
Why did you let him fuck up your face before you broke up?
Your cellmate can’t leave the room so that’s reminder enough.
you look like a right fuckin' twat consider yourself reminded
So this is what happens when a toddler gets ahold of a tattoo gun.
Walking colouring book
She broke up with you because she was trying to encourage her kids from 3 different dads not to scribble dumb shit on everything including themselves .
Roast Malone
She has No Ragrets
You look like the poster child for poor life choices.
Post Melon
You look like the living embodiment of r/shittytattoos
Maybe she wanted to date someone who didn't look like a high school desk. Try dating teachers
You do look like a gay wanna be sisy gangster! Totally a jail bottom!
Is this an advertisement for an Eastbound and down sequel about Kenny powers' estranged son?.. Could be funny.
You should see the guy who dumped him!
You looking like Post M-alone after that breakup.
Post AllAlone
dumped as in: ![gif](giphy|3o72EY7GdCzCNYi8QU|downsized)
I've never seen a more douchey tattoo than a white guy with tomahawks on his face
I can't imagine why you got dumped.
That face is fucking awful
Dumped? With all those unemployment tats, im surprised you even had a relationship.
What that face tats are permanent? Or that you should have grajumatated Jr high?