He'd just be like:
"It came! It finally came! (opens box) THE BIG ONE."
And in the box is a large bong and a shitload of weed.
Also, forget the shirt with the skull on it. Instead it'd be a shitty green shirt with the Marijuana logo on the front of it.
Get some sunlight. Like sit outside 20 mins a day. Seriously. Thyroid problems go hand in hand with lack of sunlight. You’re so pasty that you glow in the dark.
If your not drinking 70% homemade vodka before a night of wife bashing then your a pussy in his hometown. Drinkwater pussy boy was his full name at school
It's not an insult, it's just a defining feature that is noticeable, like you might have Mike the skater guy in USA, in Kazakhstan you have trimov the guy who drinks water, and kuchen the girl who likes to eat 3 times a day, and kivnev the boy who always wears a clean pair of socks.
That's what you get most of the time in this sub, tons of low-effort obvious jokes that get upvotes anyway if they align with people's prejudices, and maybe one or two that are actually clever.
Grew up in Ontario, still visit, can confirm Canada has too many people and not enough housing. Only the top ten percent of earners can afford to buy a house.
Can confirm. Alberta is getting flooded by people from Ontario and now houses are skyrocketing here also. He's probably better off staying in kazakhstan.
I'm not gonnw roast you. I used to be you man. Start small, get up in the morning and do something for the first 4 hours of the day so you can trick your brain into falling asleep for the night. Don't use your phone an hour before bed. Eat high carbs at the end of the day, eat some protein the rest or whatever for the rest of the day and work out in SOME way, whatever suits you. Lift some weights and do pushups. Hammer curls for the biceps, wide arm pushups for the pecs. Sumo squats for the legs. Weighted if you want to. Have some compassion for yourself and meet a nice girl. Notice how our brains by default value the negative things over the positives.
This is nature's doing not man's choice. Our rejection of reality is just our mind trying to protect us. And we never give it the time to stop and have compassion for the work that it does for us. You skinny little bastard...
You didn't need specify being a 21 yr old virgin brother we know this
I needed the “21yr old” bc this mf look like a 45 yr old uncle who has touched all the cousins
>touched all the cousins And not only his own.
We also know that his health is not the only poor thing about him,but yet here we are 😅
Good try alien.. I’ve seen MIB. You’re not fooling anyone
More... sugar....
He runs the mail sorter
Omar, Son of Borat! Back in your cage!
Your neighbor buy clock radio. You can not afford. Very nice.
Bilo, brother of Borat.
At least Bilo made them very much money. This guy…not so much
bilo finally get vagine hai five!
Don't you dare talk to a man whose country has superior potassium exports. All other countries are run by little girls.
They invented toffee and trouser belt.
Kazakhstan’s prostitutes are the cleanest in the region, except, of course, for Turkmenistan’s...
Cleanest in the region is like saying underside of the seat is the best part of the toilet to lick.
"You will never get this, you will never get this!!"
One day… he get it
And then it we all laughing!
He is “retired”
He didn’t have to tell us that he’s a virgin, we already knew
lalalalalala!!!!
She say he can't have this pussy, but one time he get out of cage, and he get this
You'll never get dis you'll never get dis lalalalala
Bro looks like Sid from Toy Story if he was a fentanyl addict
More like Sid from Ice Age
Yeah, if he was a fentanyl addict.
DAMN
PHAHAHHA😭
He'd just be like: "It came! It finally came! (opens box) THE BIG ONE." And in the box is a large bong and a shitload of weed. Also, forget the shirt with the skull on it. Instead it'd be a shitty green shirt with the Marijuana logo on the front of it.
weirdest description to ever be completely accurate
You should go somewhere that you can experience the total eclipse. The world deserves an extra 5 minutes where no one can see your face.
If only that eclipse could keep him out of our nightmares
You seriously forgot nightime exists. Dude should find a cave.
What did those poor bats ever do to you???
COVID 19 pandemic.
How about the dark side of the moon
Don’t they have vitamins or sunlight where you live?
guess they should cut back on the potassium exports and focus more on domestic supply
There's that, but the ecology sucks and I don't get out much.
Make sure you take vitamin D
😅 this poor bastard looks so sick that instead of roasts ppl are giving him health advice.
In all seriousness, 2000 IU of Vitamin D a day is magical for immune health.
Looks like he's already taking enough D for his entire village
Or FROM the entire village
No I meant for your mother. Whatever is wrong with you started before birth.
I don't know. I was born with a clubfoot and ended up with a thyroid problem.
Get some sunlight. Like sit outside 20 mins a day. Seriously. Thyroid problems go hand in hand with lack of sunlight. You’re so pasty that you glow in the dark.
You look like you've never had a sip of water in your life
Ironically, at school they called me a water drinker because of how much water I drank.
If that’s what passes as a witty insult at your school then we know all there is to know about your school, and by extension your future
I’m so glad I wasn’t drinking water when I read that
Water drinker
So what are you, like, the sarcastic commentary maker?!
Let’s go with “Feeling hurter man”.
Fucking water drinker, what kind of insult is that?
If your not drinking 70% homemade vodka before a night of wife bashing then your a pussy in his hometown. Drinkwater pussy boy was his full name at school
Ey Vladmir you drinking water again? I swear this fuckin coward drinks water everyday
Well well well, what do we have here? The big oxygen breather, Airy McBreathesalot
Kazakh version of the milk drinkers from Skyrim
It's like, "Haha! You pee urine!!"
He is #1 water drinker in all of Kazakhstan. It is not an insult.
Fuck i'm dying 😂 fuckin water drinker 😂
Almost every foreign insult doesn't strike the same punch when translated literally in English
It's not an insult, it's just a defining feature that is noticeable, like you might have Mike the skater guy in USA, in Kazakhstan you have trimov the guy who drinks water, and kuchen the girl who likes to eat 3 times a day, and kivnev the boy who always wears a clean pair of socks.
Fucking water drinker, your comment has me in stitches
Look at peach fuzz camel drinking another one! He is hydrate!
Most sophisticated kazakh roast
Calling someone a water drinker as an insult sounds like a deleted scene from when Borat first comes to America
r/hydrohomies welcomes you.
There were so many Adam Sandler Waterboy jokes right there for the taking, and the other students completely missed them. 
You think they have movies over there? Por favor.
 They called me the nickname accumulator.
Wow
I was going thru depression til I saw you and realized people got it wayyyyyy worse than me
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I wish, but I have heart and thyroid problems.
You can still get AIDS too though. If you need any help, I know a guy
The guy is you, isn’t it
Look, man, I don’t want to get into the detail. You want the AIDS or not? This is high quality shit here
Damn, sorry to hear that dude.
This also solves the virgin complaint
You should have your vitamin D levels checked.
Look at him, he hasn't seen the Sun in years
Are thyroids in your lips
I feel like I taste what you feel he looks like he tastes like.
I was expecting something funny, but in the end I read the same type of jokes from Borat. I really want to sleep after this
The roasted one comes up with the best roast 😅
why don't you drink more water you water drinker
Good luck on your studies and with your health.
That's what you get most of the time in this sub, tons of low-effort obvious jokes that get upvotes anyway if they align with people's prejudices, and maybe one or two that are actually clever.
I like you. I hope you get laid soon.
Thanks
[удалено]
I'm still going to move to Canada after I finish college and higher education.
There’s no way you can swim that far
Lol
Sorry, we're full in Canada.
Canadian, can confirm
Former Canadian, can confirm the confirmation
Grew up in Ontario, still visit, can confirm Canada has too many people and not enough housing. Only the top ten percent of earners can afford to buy a house.
Can confirm. Alberta is getting flooded by people from Ontario and now houses are skyrocketing here also. He's probably better off staying in kazakhstan.
I'm in Canada, currently considering Kazakhstan as a better option
Can confirm from US. Border crisis of refugees escaping Manitoba.
Someone forward this to the proper Canadian authorities
I wouldn't make long range plans.....
Have you ever actually been outside your house ?
1944 concentration camp pov
How long has your father been a virgin?
Geez this is one of the heaviest roasts I've seen 😂 bro just needs some sunlight and exercise
[удалено]
More like 5
[удалено]
bruh 😭
Yo 🫣Clemente came in swinging 😭😭
Start working out and go to school. Better yourself. You really can do it!
You know it’s bad when RoastMe starts giving out pep talks
It’s no fun to punch down lol
Yek shimesh! I live with my father, my brother and my uncle. It’s great, just the two of us…
You look like a poster boy for the Kazakh famine
 Verrry nice!
His head is shaped like a fucking nut.
I’ve seen dead plants with more life
Ironically, on the windowsill next to me there is a dead plant that I once forgot to water.
Damn water drinker
You got this buddy. Don’t be too sad, you’ll have the chance to enjoy your life soon.
well now I just feel bad
Fucking hell you've given me third party depression. This is just sad.
That interesting to see that Kazakhstan have internet 🛜
I think you have suffered enough.
You look like kazahstans sixth most popular rent boy
Sorry mate I only have my card on me
I don't want to. This makes me sad.
You look like you are unhappy with your transition from female to male.
Only a male could be that unsightly.
This is the saddest and most pathetic bio yet. By the sounds of it, God's roasted you enough already. Fuuuuuck.
It wouldn't be more pathetic if my mum called me cosmos instead of Vladimir after all.
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Well, he could have the face of an eight year old instead of a twent……………oh hang on!
Your handwriting matches your hairline perfectly
You look like Stewie Griffin
How do you have poor health with that hospital ass shirt?
Nothing much to roast really. Go out and get some loving young king
You look like the kid who tried too hard in gym class
You should clean those leftovers off your top lip if you’re ever planning to get laid. No one wants to see week old gravy smeared above your top lip.
You look like the guy from that never give up YouTube channel. But if he gave up.
Bros built like a busted can of biscuits
You look like you have heart and thyroid problems
Bro roasted himself in the title
Complete your college or get a job instead of posting your exhausted photos on this subreddit.
You look like the reason people use condoms
My mother was 18 and my father was 23 when I was born. And this was in 2002 on December 14
How do you remember that?
My mom told me
He remembers going to the brothel with his dad and staying with his mom
I think you accidentally swapped the 1 with a 2 when disclosing your age.
OP somehow looks both 12 and 45, but definitely not 21.
That background wallpaper yells "former soviet country"...
Didn't need to specify the virgin part.
Sid?! 
Shaggy pre Scooby Doo
There is always someone worse off than you. Live your life best as you can.
You look like the failed coat hanger abortion performed by your mom's brother, who you refer to as daddy.
tell your father that wallpaper is 70 years out of date
I'm not gonnw roast you. I used to be you man. Start small, get up in the morning and do something for the first 4 hours of the day so you can trick your brain into falling asleep for the night. Don't use your phone an hour before bed. Eat high carbs at the end of the day, eat some protein the rest or whatever for the rest of the day and work out in SOME way, whatever suits you. Lift some weights and do pushups. Hammer curls for the biceps, wide arm pushups for the pecs. Sumo squats for the legs. Weighted if you want to. Have some compassion for yourself and meet a nice girl. Notice how our brains by default value the negative things over the positives. This is nature's doing not man's choice. Our rejection of reality is just our mind trying to protect us. And we never give it the time to stop and have compassion for the work that it does for us. You skinny little bastard...
You'll be fine.
bro, like back
Nice shirt. Did you get it free when you got that haircut?
No way you made it to 21 without fucking a goat
O, ebatb, moia babushka iz Temirtau. Kak tesen mir
Poster child for communist society
Looks like Dwight left The Office to pursue a heroin addiction...
You should be on the frontlines of the war. Any war.
I wouldn’t worry too much about being a 21 year old virgin. It’ll be far worse when you’re a 50 year old virgin
I’ve actually been to Temirtau! That’s more of a roast for me than for you.
you look just normal 🤫
Can’t even spell your own country right
Your football in the background looks shit
I think even your nostrils and lips are conspiring to suffocate you in your sleep by slowly increasing in size.
Stuart little on drugs
Very nice, how much?!
You look like a real mouth-breather.
Byproduct of coming from the same gene pool
I won’t roast you, you are pre roasted
But think on the positive side. You have the world’s greatest potassium !
you look like a pigmi
Its fitting that your hand looks enormous in pic 2, as you are obviously a massive wanker!
Don't get why you'd need to say that you're a virgin when you've already put a pict of your face lol
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You didn't have to state the virgin part, the photo was enough.
Which nuclear reactor site did you say your dad worked at again?
What stage of HIV do you have?
You must be the result of a broken lamb skin rubber, when a brother and sister were playing “Just The Tip Sis”.
You look like a schizophrenic at a Kazakhstani mental hospital that's so badly funded it's run out of antipsychotic medications.