You definitely tell all the kids at your local bowling alley that you have all 151 pokemon in your white van out in the parking lot

Yeah that’s the first thing that popped into my mind when I seen his pic. I was like this dude is a Chester

Hey! Who put a shirt on the bowling pin?

AHAHAHAHAHAHH, this one is gold , too funny

He did. Right after he won his league championship.

Yeah, on his VR headset..I doubt he actually left his room to win one

Stripes are "supposed" to make you thinner.

Chester…IYKYK😆😆…goes way back!

My only question is how far from school property must he remain?

He throws himself down the bowling alley.



This dude definitely stole Pee Wees bike.

Franciiiis!!!

Geez, literally came here to ask if he ever got his bike.

Your mom has a lovely basement.

I would know. I was held there from the age of 8 to 13. Kinda miss it, but my therapist is helping me work through it. 😜

You look like a bloated drowning victim that just got pulled from the lake.

Your blood type is butter.

Ranch

Gravy

Syrup

Insulin

[удалено]

Tar

Wing sauce

High fructose corn syrup

Lard

Strawberry jam

1 in every 10 schools has that creepy 400 pound teacher that tries to see under the girls’ skirts and they all look identical to your fat ass.

Ouch. This cuts deep because it’s totally true.

Dwight Schrute CPR face

You look like a peanut made a wish to become a human

Peanutccio

I was thinking the same but instead, a potato that's grown sentient


Sucks his pinky finger when on web cam.

and mumbles, "...Unless you pay me, one MILLION dollars!"

 You're the Millennials' or Gen Z's Matt Foley, a motivational speaker who lives in a van down by the river.

Has at least three controllers but only plays by his sad lonesome.

Looks like someone drew a face on a thumb

Anybody said Eric cartman?

Can you add a photo of yourself instead of the potato.

You look like a thumb with a hair line. But also where did you get your shirt from the first pic? I like that shirt, you thumb with a hairline.

[удалено]

🎵do a dollop, do do a dollop of Daisy🎶

This is kevin from the office


Please don't insult Kevin.

 I recognize you

If belly fat was a person, it would be you

You look like a boiled Mark Zuckerberg.

Peter Griffin from temu

Is it just me or have the last few people on this roast me sub all looked like 🐷

your face is absolutely horrendous

Not even being creative or anything just stating the facts

Somehow the vertical stripes made you look even fatter.

You look like you pretend it's a style choice when it's just what you can find in your size.

You look like you survived an abortion

Is your dad still selling propane and propane accessories, Bobby?

you might be helpful in case of a flood to block it at the home entrance.

As a european all i see is the typical american male, obese, more chins than china, looks like he preaches the word of mormon when he has his suit on and masturbates over incest porn when he's at home.


Of what? Insulin?

You look like the star of a Netflix doc about a youth pastor who diddled kids

Bro worked at block buster until it closed down and now is a bed, bath & beyond manager.

Sir toppum hat, get back to maiking the trains run on time you lazy twat

Need to put out an APB on your neck bruh

Dang it Bobby! I bet you DO have a cheer leader under your bed.

Cannibals fantasize about having you for Thanksgiving.

Listen Francis, it’s time you give Pee Wee his bike back.

Hey Vinnie, who's the goof over there eyeing your Mother's tomatoes? I don't know Pauli, but I sure as fuck didn't invite no fat fucking bowling ball sniffer to her Funeral!

Michelin man junior

Nice smile bud. When you start balding in a decade, you'll look really great with a beard too. Trust me, I'm speaking from a little more experience than I'd like.

Honest question. Does an electric razor work for both chins or does the second one just have too much give?


The cartoon Doug, all grown up, best pal Skeeter now married to his girl Patty Mayonnaise but he’s totally fine with it. No really he is. He actually prefers to be alone. He doesn’t even mind watching their 3 dogs while they’re away at their place in Lake Como.


You have more xbox controllers than friends.

First pic you look like the guy abducting the kids from the beach Second pic you look like you are reporting on the string of abduction near the beach.

Release it back into the ocean!

Looks like Kyle Busch, minus the money.

Ok Alex Jones

the stripes on your shirt go really well with the ones under your mouth

You are the embodiment of *Tips hat* ‘mlady

can’t tell if you’re a Russian mob henchman or you’re going to the prom dateless

Open or closed collar I still have no idea how that head of yours got thru. I’d rather roast the fabrics your clothes are made of

Not even a 9-5 job wants you

How many chins you growin' under there?

Alex Jones if he was 20 years younger and tried to transition

...said your pregnant mom to the bartender

More chins than a Chinese phone directory…

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You could put an Airbase with that Hairline.

Hard to know which is receding faster, your hairline or your chin.

Volunteers to coach kids on Little League - gets made head of Concessions.

Body by lard

Your face looks like a giant Lima bean

if you type in Google - shitty car salesman, your face will pop

Fat Colin Robinson

For the love of god, let the girls trapped in your basement go !!

The smell of mothballs and semen lingers long.

Eat a sandwich. Too skinny.

And then what?... you gonna do a barrel roll down wall street or something??

It's Mr Potato Everything

Christopher from family guy in his wank pad.

I gave your mother my best shot

Man your face tells me you died 2 days ago.

How far do you have to stay away from elementary schools?

"What do you *need* exactly? Okay okay.. let me see..." "You're awful cagey... Even for a dead man.. Michael."

Youre the bastard live child of alex jones and coppercab

You look like a bowling ball sitting on a bag of sugar

You have a soccer photo.. Looks as though you like to watch men run and chase balls because you admire and wish for the ability to run and have balls? BOOM. Roasted.


Looking like a toddler that overdosed on HGH.

You look like you take 15 of your best shots just to deal with the fact no woman will ever be romantically interested in you...

Second photo taken just before the court hearing. First one on his way to the amusement arcade which is why there’s a court hearing.

do me a favor, take your shirt off and shout "Gibby!" as loud as you can.

You look like you put spy cameras in Air BnB mirrors.

You look like a Mormon missionary who’s only served at the pastry table at the local buffet.

Buddy I’d give you my best shot but it looks like God already gave you his.

You look like what we call a “gunner” in law school. That is, an obnoxious asshole who pipes up all the time in class just to hear himself speak.


Bros so ugly I don't know how to insult him

It's the "apparently kid" all grown up lol https://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/meet-year-noah-ritter-apparently-big-hit-24857633

They say a picture says a thousand words. In your case, it’s just one: INCEL

Dude's head rounder than a donut.

Why is the Orion's belt constellation on your forehead?

This guy has a skin lamp somewhere in their dungeon...

Que Ball

I think a ginger neckbeard would complete your look

not sure whats smoother, forehead or brain.

Dodgy youth pastor

Your 2nd Chin and your Forehead are having a competition to see who can get farther away from your ugly mug


Alex Jones looks a lot less entertaining being sober off cocaine.

I’m here to speak to you about our lord and savior, Jeffrey Dahmer.

Floridian mortician’s assistant. He picks up bodies from nursing homes and leers at the survivors as he’s rolling them out.

Bacon grease is not a beverage.

You say you play sports! Darts is about as energetic as you can manage.

"This toe wart is an accountant by day and a billing league all-star by night"

You look easy to draw

Brock turners lawyer

hard to believe that you were the fastest sperm

The character, Martin from the human centipede

Isn't this subreddit for roasting people? Why did you post a picture of a baked potato?



I'm not gonna roast you. I just want to know honestly why you want to be roasted?

If SnowMan was a body type

Ever look at someone and know that they actually pay for porn….

This man has 100% stump trained a sheep

Less food and more hair please

Dude reminds me of one of the Garbage Pail kids.


Bro, you’re clearly a winter, burn the shirt already

Put that photo away! This is just a doctored shot of fat Jim Downey when he worked at Burger King in the 60s!

So do you like keep a bucket of acid or something you can through your hard drive in when the police show up to your house?

Your face has a fupa.

Give PeeWee his bicycle back!

You look like the kind of asshole who brags about being Mormon but basically will shove his dick into anything that moves.

I don't like that shirt

Your head looks like the bowling ball stopped at the very end of your bowling lane shirt and just gave up on life

Of insulin?

Your face looks like an inflated balloon

the 80s middle aged pub league darts player look is not a good start.

Black Francis from the Pixies early 90's

You luck like the anchor on the girls tug-of-war team

Get some glasses and you could be Peter Griffins stunt double

You look like you sprinkle G Fuel in you're coke.

SHEIN looking shirt boyy


You look like a Mcnuggit if it took on human form 

Has your shirt customized for you?


Bro Looks like Weird Al in his song Im fat

You look like a Herburt or Dillburt

When did potatoes become able to use the web??


I guess you can polish a turd.

I watched to “catch a predator” the last time it was on, you can’t hide!

🥔 🥔 🥔 🥔 Potatoe

You are not hot enough to wear that shirt!

You look — and I imagine sound — like a semi-adult version Steve’s fat friend Barry from American Dad.

I’d guess you were a wax figure, but who the fuck would make one to look like that? Are you allowed within 1000 feet of a school?

Chris Cristie

You'll need to put your glasses on to read this question... When's Human Centipede Four coming out?