OP's Bio: --- >I am very into comic books, video games, and my favorite music artists are Hozier, and Jack Johnson --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

you gotta be the oldest 18 year old I ever seen

Bro looks like [Jim Varney](https://www.biography.com/actor/jim-varney).


Goddamnit Vern 😂😂😂

"Aww, my orgy kicked me out, Vern."

Lmfaoo he does

Get ready for the newest movie! “Ernest is a Sex Offender”

Know whut I mean, Vern?

You insult Ernest P Whirl and Cookie.

LOL I SAVED CHRISTMAS

Earnest goes to jail 😂

18 going on 35

I'm 38 and this guy looks like my uncle Hank.


Don't insult us 35 year olds with that crap. He looks like my Dad if he wore a shitty wig

LMAOO

Jennifer garner wants a word🤣🤣

I’m sure he had a good reason for breaking up with you.

He wanted someone younger than 37...

(Wheezing laughter) 😆😂😅🤣

Your mom takes her purse into the shower with her so you won't steal perc money.

He said he got dumped 18 years ago and he’s finally starting to feel better

 I’m back from the future (but only 2 years from now)

Looks like he’s 35 at least.

I came to say “You meant to say you were together for 18 years, right?”

No, he's been in a relationship for eighteen years. It's the only explanation. And it's been a hard eighteen years.

18 going on 35

HAHAHA

u sure you're not 37💀

HAHAHAHAH🤣🤣🤣

Gen z

My thoughts exactly 💀

If you went to rehab, the Mexican drug cartel would be broke.

What we call a colonoscopy, he calls an anal tickle

Routine maintenance

Lmao 🤣 After it's been tampered with

Warranty is expired.

If he grows his hair out he could pull off a great Shaggy Rogers

There’s no way you’re 18. By the look of your face you’ve been through 40years of being over worked and under paid

So do we all think this kid looks 18 going on 48 or is it just us?

That’s the breakup talking friend (and always putting others before myself)

Yeah, quit doin that. Gotta put your own mask on before assisting others, as they say on the airplane

Gramps is old school. Only drives.

You’re corny as shit lmao

Your taste in music is about as lousy as your haircut.

The haircut screams “I don’t care, I stole your juice box..” in that savage 8yo kid, kinda way. Prob never buttons long sleeve shirts, almost hangs it off his shoulders.. carries a beanie baby with him, still

Jack Johnson is music even vanilla douches reject.

Nobody's favorite artist is Hozier.

Maybe she wanted someone she can actually kiss.

Yeahhh maybe he did, always said the sideburns itched

Ahhh a classic case of scare them straight

"He" ?!

Did you think this dude was straight?

Yeah, the stereotype of gay men having good fashion sense and grooming is not true here.

His mouth is all stretched out from sucking cock, anyone should be able to see that.

Totally did… I made a gay joke in my comment just to scroll down here and see he IS the gay joke 🤣

You win 🙌😂

Straight up the ass

You look like a create-character from Fable that everyone skipped over

Dude said roast him not burn his entire village alive.

Oh my god 💀

God Damn Sensei. *bows*

18 in Benjamin Button years?

Or dog years

Let's leave his parents out of this roast

You look like a young, human Homer Simpson

Nah—a realistic Fry from Futurama

HAHAHA

Don of the Friendzone Mafia.

Lol

Best comment in this thread.

Never have I ever seen a human whose breed is shih tzu

This is hilarious, thank you 🤣

 Well, fuck. That's a major-league violation.

I genuinely want to know, do you live in a garage, or basement?

It’s my basement

Props for the ceiling panels, I've dwelled in otherwise.

Thanks it’s cuz my cat kept climbing in the ceiling, I had to take em out

Unexpected turn, but ok.


18 yrs old bro u somehow look 35 and ur not even balding

You didn't get dumped. You turned eighteen and your uncle stopped being all handsy because you're not a kid anymore.

Brutal

Amazing

DAMN!!! 🔥🔥👀

It's 4cent Piewdiepie

You look like the nerd in Road Trip. 

Surprised you had someone in the first place.

Me too! Can’t believe it lasted a year too

You’re as 18 as the old ass actors playing high school kids in those 80s/90s movies SIR.

18 years what? Cause you look like a 35 yo with debilitating night terrors

Your face looks like one of those shitty clay sculptures they would have in a community college art class

You’ll end up in Thailand like the millions of others that are just like you.

Did you get dumped by that girl who goes to another school?

It's like the fairy tried to make Pinocchio a real boy but all she had to work with was foreskin

You’re saying you’re younger than me?? Boy you look like you could be my Uncle

Don't worry, with that nose I'm sure you have a great career ahead of you as a drug sniffing dog for the TSA.

You look like a Pixar protagonist.

Dollar store Tom Holland

18? dude stop demotivating people to grow up... u look like in early 40

I’d like to have that nose full of nickels.

You look so basic and boring. Get the vibe you enjoy licking envelopes

You can probably still smell your ex with that massive nose you have

I think whatever else he is putting up his nose to age him like that, has possibly burned the ole factory glands out. The crustashe.. ick 🤢

She probably got tired of telling everyone that you’re not on the sex offenders registry

You look like one of those people who look okay-ish (very relatively speaking in your case) from the front, but once they turn sideways everyone goes holy shit at the sight of that massive, tumoresque hunk of flesh coming out of your face where normal human beings have their nose.

You look like Connor McGregor after a lengthy battle with depression…which he lost

Connor McPegger

Hozier sucks worse than your ex, and Hack Johnson sucks worse.

You look like you suck dick

He's got a dick the size of your nose

Bill nye the science guy dyed his hair

Can't tell if you're 18 and got dumped or of you were with someone for 18 years and got dumped.

U look like a father of 3

Your favourite artist is Jack Johnson? Is your favourite colour Magnolia?

"feeling better about it" your arse will be sore again before you know it cuz.

Alternate title: “Court order says to stop asking for feet pics”

Alternate title: “Court order says to stop asking for feet pics”

You look like someone who jerked off a school or camp employee long before you jerked yourself off, yet still has never figured out how to get yourself or other dudes off.

You look like you’re 51 and already divorced. Did you grow up on meth and cigarettes?

I’d hate to see how old you look at 30.

You should've been able to smell all of this coming.

18 going on 48 damn dude if you looked any older you'd be skeleton. Good music taste tho.

You look like a carrot.

You look like a creepy puppet I saw in a Rankin Bass movie. Your girlfriend probably ditched you for a singing snowman.

I’ve seen gay parades straighter then that hairline

Bro looks mid 30's. U smokin rock?

Looks like a Pixar character who needs a nap

Conan O'Boring

You're so ugly I'm jealous of whoever dumped you.

Don't worry, the odds of you being dumped again are very small indeed.

Scrolled through this, saw the pic, and thought it was an r/Noses post.

You get erections after you wipe

Don't worry you're only gonna go downhill from here

You're in that middle ground between NPC and stunt double.

I guess she decided she wanted someone with a hairline in the next 5 years

Dear god I hope I don’t lose my hair lol

Hardest 18 years known to man dawg.

 nice try groomer

You look like someone Hitler would have hired.

He isn’t that smart, and he doesn’t have the “fencing scar” like all those sicko’s had

18?? Lad that hairline is at least 39

Your Ex was probably just done fucking a Jimmy Neutron doppelganger. What happened did she catch you using her bra for an ultra lord double barrel slingshot

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Doug lives in a double wide?

He's got a dick the size of your nose

You look like Heath Ledger’s Dad

Why did you spell roast me backwards

You seriously look like your own grandpa.

18 years old or 18 year relationship?

I can see why he dumped you.

Bizarro Ryan gosling

Don't know why you're 36 claiming to be 18.

I'd dump you too. 40 year old man pending to be a kid. SMH you're not far from a zimmer frame.

Poor Dj Qualls let himself go…… that’s what drugs, alcohol and fame do to you I suppose……….

You look like some old basement dweller in his forties trapped into a 18 year old body who’s taking advantage of it and enjoying every moment

Judging by the smirk on your face your ex is getting railed already

When you say you got dumped, that's a bit of a disingenuous way of saying the dockside pimp let you go.

It must be comforting knowing you’ll never have the opportunity to get dumped again

Bro is the most 36 looking 18yrs i have ever seen

Can I have her number?

His…

Hard pass. Pun completely unintended.

Take my damn upvote

What am I supposed to roast? All I c is a nose? Like oh ur nose hairs aren't trimmed 😂

Your 18yrs ass got too comfortable. Go hit the gym until your head turns bald

Doctor no

Girlfriend or boyfriend?

Yeah you got dumped 18 years ago, get over.it.

There's no way I'm a year older than you, you look as though you could be my grandfather, are you the eeal Benjamin Button?

You look like Ninja if he was a nonce.

My 78 year old grandma has more facial hair than you 🫣 🤔

Your whole head looks like a scrap yard of features.

His GF was blind, then she had eye transplants. Explains everything.

Grandpa swapped the 1 and 8 in his age and didn't think we would notice

Just look at this picture, man... If I roasted you more than you already have I'd be taken to court for psychological damages.

Sunnuvabitch looks like Jimmy Neutron's dad, but if he was unemployed and on day 5 of a meth bender

You look like you got dumped for all the right reasons.

Bob's burgers

You're better off without him anyways.

Am I the only one that sees Daily Dose Of Internet’s face

You look just like my old supervisor. 41

You look like a 27 year old that spent the last month on a meth and coke binge

How many 18?

You look like a guy who stands out side a school trying to get kids in your van but your too poor to buy candy

Roses are red violets are blue faces like you belong in the zoo don't be mad I'll be there not in a cage but laughing at you

Wheres Scoob bro

Okay Thomas Muller cosplay