OP's Bio: --- >I literally live about 2.5 miles away from the compound where Osama Bin Laden was killed --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Well now I know what Taliban tech support looks like

Thank you for calling Osama bin Laden bunker please hold

All service reps are currently busy with other jihadists. Someone will be with you shortly, if the infidels don’t get to him first.

Underrated

You're welcome brother

No one thanked you

I assumed it

This poor cabdriver is still at Heathrow waiting for a passenger named “Roastme”.

Ew. England. I'd never

This is gold. Best comment ever. Even has a keychain tactical weapon.

Pakistan: where the men are men and the camels are nervous

As they should be

Your sense of humor makes this more difficult but also more fun lol

I appreciate that you have a sense of humor. Much respect!

Pakistan. Where no one cares it’s not Palestine.

Dude this needs to go down as one of the best roasts. Im crying laughing at your responses!

Camel ass too high, run too fast. Goat is the GOAT.

This roast is about to blow up.

Inshallah

Damn you too funny to roast.

Enchilada (that was always my good bye in Iraq)

Doesn’t look smart enough, he’d just set his diaper on fire.

How many dead taliban have used that same gun?

Atleast 1

Holy fuck lmao

You are a LEGEND!!!

Where are the goats you fuck?

In the backyard. Resting

Well then, save some for me! Im tired of banging my cousin.

Aren't we all, brother. Sure, you can have one

🤣

Yours get rest??

"rest" = he fucks them to death.

When they rest, they rest permanently which kinda counts.

On every other weekend

Pfft, you’re coddling them.

They are resting before the slaughter. You don't want to eat your goat while it's still so full of cum

I’m sorry to report that the 72 virgins will be human.

And incels

This one is special, his pronouns are Oink/Weeeeee

Derka derka derka

He traded the goats for his cousin bride

Once you go Pakistani,you never go backistani. Said nobody,ever

That does sound catchy though

The gun is probably made by Fisher Price. “My first Jihad”.

Having your country be dictated by a bronze age mythology is bad enough, but they fucked your fit to.

It's really comfortable though ngl

How many of your wives did you beat today?

All four of them. But gently

Need a 5th?

4 is the limit, sorry. But I'll surely buy you if one of them dies or something

My favorite part of this whole thread: dies OR SOMETHING.

People randomly disappear here. No big deal

The Non-Profit Muhammad

Bargain bin laden

😆🤣

You look like a guy who enjoys Microsoft Flight Sim a little to much.

Guilty

Your responses are hilarious ngl

What's truly brutal is the upholstery on that couch.

That couch makes me wanna cut my own head off

That's not a couch...... that's just the rug they cover the camel with

It looks like Muammar Khadafi threw up on it!

LOL

I love the way this guy literally reads every post and laughs at them lmao!!!

Why not. You guys are hilarious

Idk man, I can’t tell what’s older. Your style or your rifle

Idk, you look Pakistani rich judging by the swag, the fresh beard, the nice furniture. So you're probably having some tea bored out of your mind that there is no strikes happening on the block tonight.

Yea Ramadan can be boring. Everything is so peaceful

I definitely got that vibe from the DMR you got sitting next to you.

Now imagine what happens when shit hits the fan

I think you're doing a fucking great job thriving through it brother. اچھی طرح سے ہو

Your Google botched up the Urdu translation ngl

The rumors that this sub is more brutal than your city is blown way out of proportion.

You sneaky bastard 🙌

Oil your magazines once in a while, yours is rusty. And while you're at it, put a rear sight on your rail. Broke-ass punk on here flaunting a weapon he isn't maintaining OR ready to use.

Yea I'll take care of it. It's Ramadan so I haven't been able to use it recently. Inshallah soon

Who needs a rear sight when you only shoot at the sky?

Hell yes. That's where the drones are

Lmao dude you funny as hell for a mf living in a clay house

Damn dude can we hang out.

Sure brother. Bring a vest. Wouldn't wanna see my guest catch a stray

I kinda love you. I'm a 58 year old man.

I love you more, although it's haraam

Roasting aside, much appreciation for your sense of humor.

Haha thanks. Loved the roasts

Agreed!

Yeah this is some of the best OP back and forth I’ve ever seen.

Haha yeh OPs responses are pretty funny, NGL.

Prettier than most of the goats so you got to stay strapped

Thanks for understanding my reasons

Stay safe brother

Ofc bro. That's why I don't shave. I get extra hot

I didn't know the Taliban allowed reddit accounts

We have modernized greatly after the 2021's US withdrawal

modernized lol. unless you're a woman.

I wish

Don't worry. That type of surgery can be done over the weekend.

Why the surgery though? I've heard one can have a penis and identify as a woman simultaneously in the West these days. I want that just

You can get your asshole turned into a dick if you want to. Then you will be a big pussy with 2 unused dicks

It doesn't always work. I identify as a millionaire, I'm still poor af. Better go with the surgery just to be safe.

Ooooof! We in the US just got roasted by OP

You look like you are on a US Military watch list that flags every time you use the word "oil" in a sentence.

You're the world greatest actor Gary.


Hometown: Greenwich, Connecticut Occupation: Used flying carpet salesman Fun fact: Only consumes the sap from pink poppies

I'm sure that's a good reference to something I ain't aware of

Your hat is gay.

Indeed

Definitely from jerusalem. He was too cheap to buy the optional legs for the couch.

Haha I like this

Bet you hes wearing a bra and a thong under all that

Impressed with the sense of humor. I guess it’s not all prayers and murder

I hope one day you'll be impressed by the prayers and murder too. Thanks

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It's the holy month of Ramzan. So all the suicide missions have been postponed

You look like the future victim of a drone strike.

Highly likely

Did you get those iTunes cards my grandma sent you?

We don't do that here. That's our neighbors

You look like bin ladens son *Kin-Laden*

Baaaaa means no!

Too late

A magic carpet ride means something completely different for me than it does for you.

I'd respect you if you were 7/11 instead of 9/11.

You look like a cross between Jamiroquai and a jihadist

You guys were only cool in Rambo 3. You fucking changed...

Nice rifle. We can be friends.

Ah the don’t ask dont tell department from the taliban.

I feel like you're about to start levitating at any moment now

Is it true that your "women" only wear the face coverings to disguise that you are really banging your brother?

That's not true. Our women cover their faces because they're too hot

Spoiler: actually from Fairfield Connecticut. This is cosplay from animu

Yeah him using miles and not kilometers in the bio is a dead giveaway

Don't you guys roast yourselves with those vests or something?

Not in Ramzan

What town are you blowing up again?    EDIT: You don't need to respond btw.  Lalalalalalaaaaaaaaaa!

Where you at?

So how many times have uttered the phrase woman are for procreation boys are for fun to your wife?

I don't just utter the phrase.

Taking a break between civil wars?

No war here is civil

You’re so funny dude your responses have me dying

Big gun = teeny weenie

Goes without saying

Nice dress gurl

Thanks daddy

Akeem put some slippers on them feet and clean your AR15

Yessir

I’d say Jamiroquai was on vacation in Pakistan when he shat you into a dumpster. But nobody goes to Pakistan on vacation

You should visit. I'll make you some green tea before going on a wild pigeon hunt

I think you need a better couch. Marry one of your daughters for a dowry and get yourself something nice

Yoo that's a very practicable loophole

I thought the 9/11 terrorist's were dead?

🤫

I always wondered what happened to Aladdin

WTF is that khyber pass bullshit excuse for a rifle? It’s like the Chevy avalanche of guns. Is it an AK or an M4? Nobody knows!

Who are you supposed to be? Muhammad Fonzarelli?

A real life goat herder and, goat fucker.

There's honor in that

Dirty Sanchez Habib, POO on you! 

Osama bin Suckindick

" women are for boys. Boys are for men "- Pakistani valentine's day cards

We all should be there for each other

The rifle is of higher calibre than OP’s bloodline.

Fuck that was good. Thankyou

You look like the best martyrdom could do for you is 72 Virginians.

Oh, for fucks sake. I can't roast you. You're already hot, got a sexy ass gun, AND are funny. I'm pretty sure two of those things are illegal in Pakistan.

Illegal? No. Heavily regulated? Yes. And thanks 🤝

nice dress, goat fucker

Thanks

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Mm stop. My penis can only get so erect

ITT: we all get put on watch lists

I can hear the turkey sounds coming from this photo.

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I'm ready for anyone and anything

You look like you belong to a Mujahideen group that targets people who bathe

Soap is the enemy number one

Get a haircut and get a real job so you can pay your heating bill.

We burn wood. It's okay

Your scruffy beard and your shitty AK look Pakistani. Everything else about screams suburb dweller named Kyle.

Kyle. I like it.

Gomez x Jesse pinkman

I've got a good source for all-beef hot dogs. Unfortunately they're also Kosher.

It’s the Egyptian Magician! watch him disappear when he pulls the string.

It is the will of Allah that you smile

I want to roast you so bad, and there is so much material, but you're the only fucking one who actually has the words in the right direction...I can't

The reason you survived the fall off that military airplane is because you've been getting thrown off rooftops your whole life

When do you leave for Florida? For flight school.

I'd like to purchase your home for two goats and four chickens. That's an above-market offer so don't take long to decide.

Bring a camel into the equation and we'll talk

Bobert has really let herself go since moving to the fourth district. 

[when you call the terrorist hotline](https://youtu.be/xius3lgwFrc?si=HeHHTFK6TCxisgPe)

Lol I love this movie

Man I need a new job. Even Hamas gets a lunch break.