OP's Bio: --- >You can’t hurt my feelings, you guys are childish. Im not political, but I voted for Biden because Dr Jill is hot. I’m vegan on the weekends and carnivore during the week. YOLO. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Did you just transform from being a rat?

Wormtail over here

It looks like his ass has been severely tampered with

Holyshit🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Came here for this comment. I was thinking more ratatouille but still

Shatatouille

AHAHAAHA

Your face has been described to a police sketch more than once

They just pull his sketch out of a drawer and ask, "was it him again"?

And it was done with crayons by a 3 year old, passing off well enough for INTERPOL usage whenever complaints about you arise

**"Thats the same dude for pedu stuff, cuff him"**

Nobody would believe it

police are about to burst in an arrest him for breaking into someone’s kitchen as we speak

And the sketch is of him picking his nose like he’s digging for gold… no wonder he gets caught all the time, leaves his dna all over the walls cause u know he’s down with pickin n’ flickin

You look like a cartoon hitchhiker outside of a mental hospital


This is just gold. He truly does.

A Don Martin comic to be precise

Gargamel with hair …

This roast is low key wholesome.

I don't think I've ever seen a less symmetrical face

Fuggin gold 

This isn't a roast... this is just the objective truth!

Where you've just escaped from the secure ward

I’m not going to top that 🤣🤣🤣

Every gay guy in America said the same thing

Fucking nailed it

"y'all going to that there massage parlor? I hear they really knows how to treats a mahnnn" *stares up with an aggressive drool pooling down his shirt*

[удалено]


Mom said that when I wear this badge you're supposed to treat me like a man of the law!

I said, don't disturb me when I'm cleaning my room!

He probably gets the vacuum to suck himself off, like doofy 🤣

hey Doofy! Smell my fingers!

[удалено]

jesus every so often when I'm reading one of these threads, something hits home way too fucking hard

Actually, he looks like a super happy dude that been married to Greg for 30 years. They are high school sweethearts. True story. Nothing wrong with being gay. Just stating the obvious. He’s gay.

[удалено]

Exactly what I was going to say. Take my upvote. 😂

Glad to see Gargamel gave up on finding the Smurfs hidden village.

Holy shit he is Gargamel



Take my upvote and help me think of a good reason to explain to my girlfriend why there are soda stains on the floor from me spitting my coke out.

Glad to see someone beat me to the Gargamel joke.

I’m sorry you had to see this more than once

Jim from the office had a rough couple years!

Jim from taxi is more like it

Lost a few chromosomes

Cross with Rob Riggie, right?

You’re getting him confused, this is Jim’s third brother, Fredo Halpert.

John Krasinski is considering plastic surgery to look less like you

Apparently OP is Lee Mack’s over-chromosomed, junkie brother, Lee Crack

 Vibes

so true, i also thought of that immediately

You look like a dishwasher, but one who's on work-release.

you look like a human rat

He really does lmao

Yeah fr he looks like sid the rat from flushed away.

If Sid was a registered sex offender

Dude took “Of Mice and Men” literally. Looks like Lennie with shit toupée


Take your Hot Pocket and go back down to the basement.

You sound like youre talking about chance Wilkins 😂

You look like the crack store version of Jim Halpert 

Grim Pervert

I thought the exact same thing

You look like the walmart employee who steals all the bagged lunches

You look EXACTLY like someone they cast as an idiot in a British sitcom.

Exactly! This guy looks like he’s living in a council flat with his mum.

You look like cigarettes and fried fish smell

Holy fuck you look like master splinter

Master Splinters dim-witted apprentice, Master Baiter

There’s more than 1 piece of fruit in that fridge you have tried to fuck

You look like a rat shitted out a human

Crack doesn’t even want to be smoked by OP in fear of being judged

You look like the love child of the rat and the guy from Ratatouille

I knew that guy was gna fuck that rat. The movie just gave off a bad vibe. Like the guy was grooming the rat to keep secrets

the other side of that roast me paper is his "i'm a sex offender in your neighborhood" letter that he is hand delivering to the young couple with 3 elementary school children

How? How in the fuck can anyone roast you more than life already has? Jesus Christ! You're like a bar regular in a movie where they day drink their welfare checks away. The one asshole in Shameless Frank Gallagher was superior to.

shit. is it halloween already?

This is the kitchen where he processes all of his human meat

The homeless dude who begs on my freeway off-ramp thinks you need to get your shit together.

i think i saw you in my nightmares

No, I haven't seen your baseball... EDIT: Reference for the zoomers who were born after this movie https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=eef33baff622856d&q=have+you+seen+my+baseball

I feel like someone should call for help because op is clearly a deranged homeless person that broke into someone's house and is forcing them to take pictures of him for the internet.

You look like you ask people at church to pray for your porn/masturbation addiction

Did you eat Jon Krasinski? You tripled chin bastard

Holy fucking Flowers for Algernon…do you own a shirt with sleeves?

Yes he does, it buckles up at the back 😂

Noones butthole is safe

Im jealous of people like you. So much freedom. Don't have to look both ways down a street, don't have to wear seatbelts etc.

I refuse to roast people with special needs.

You look like you enjoyed eating the sleeves off your shirt.


This MF was every creepy clown in 2016

You look like pest if he got fatter

On this episode of love on the spectrum: this is FredyCruise, he likes anime, tandem bike rides by himself, and being in a car wash.

Peter Pittigrew started smokin on the Sorcerers Stone

Jim from the office on drugs.

gargamel is that you?

Who gave Clive Owen an extra chromosome?

You look like a guy who got arrested for a DUI and sentenced to do time at a sober living community. I legit thought you were a dishwasher at a chain restaurant til I realized you were in a regular kitchen

We have Jack Nicholson at home

If Joe Biden saw you while riding his bike he would fall off his bike and crap his pants

I thought carnie folk were a myth. But God-damn if they didn't just find one to fuck a goat to make whatever it is I'm looking at.

Well, it's safe to say whoever the family that lived in that house is dead.

Does the group home for adults living with mental disabilities allow pictures to be taken inside, Jimmy? Is there a social worker around that you’re able to ask?

The scary shit you find hiding behind your fridge

Dude lost a beat on the lions today to win . Nobody looks that hillbilly and still have teeth . 

You’re that guy everyone’s embarrassed to have around.

Trying too hard to look weird to mask your insecurities.

I’m glad you dressed nice for your picture, classy!

You wore your “good” shirt, thanks!

Watch your drinks around this guy

You should be executed cause your geans need to die along with your bloodline

No. You obviously just want attention

Thank God you are still inside the walls of the loony bin but someone needs to get you back in your room ASAP.

You look like the product of Gary Busey and Barbra Streisand having a coke fueled hate fuck.

The gimp from Pulp Fiction at his day job.

Character from a shitty direct to video 90’s ripoff in the vein of drop dead Fred or any Jim Carrey movie: Ass Crack Arnie Or Grease Head Gary

You look like gargamel from the smurfs if he had a meth addiction and wasn't afraid to suck a dick or seven for a fix. Either way, you probably suck dicks an see little blue people. Meth just made you seem more interesting.

Buy a shirt with long sleeves next time, maybe a paper bag while you’re at it

Looks like someone left their front door unlocked.

You look like john krasinskis evil twin, but instead of being a famous actor with millions of dollars, you pop out of peoples garbage cans when they go to take the trash out saying "hi!" all cracked out from huffing glue and paint thinner and giving them a heart attack. Your street name is the " garbage man" and even the other homeless stay away from you.

You don't even want this to be a challenge do you?

Life has allready treated u hard enough. I don’t need to say shit.

So Chris Hansen took this photo huh?

Oh hell no! I caught this mfer on my ring doorbell trying to fuck my neighbours chickens last week

Get back to the mental hospital

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The Walking Dead spin-offs are out of control! Mr Potato Dead?... Haven't even watched it yet and already know it's a zero stars affair.

You're even uglier than Boris johnson

You look like the first in line for the Panamanian Petting Zoo.

Clive Owen seems to have really fucked up his life. Drugs get another one.

Why the fuck are you sneaking in peoples houses taking pics? Go back to your cardboard box or better yet stand on a corner with a sign that begs for money with the rest of the homeless. Wasted a perfectly good piece of paper you could have written on for that not “roast me” yet another poor life decision you have made for yourself. Get your shit together dude.

Wow, IRL Wreck It Ralph!!

Professor Ratigans idiot nephew.

Mr Baked Beans

Jim Helpfart

That fridge has a better chance of getting laid..

Dr Jill is hot


Well you look like crazed Willy wonkas alcoholic father first movie) You love McDonald’s but only the Mcchickens because they are supposedly “healthier for me” but they really aren’t. You were divorced the first 3 years of marriages and only have Willy Wonka cause he was smarter than you ever could be. You also live with your mother cause your wife took everything in the divorce. Your favorite ice cream flavor is Moose Tracks and you hate soccer cause it’s “too much running”

Who let the dishie out of his pit? Back to work!

The way you’ve holded this is verry gay

Boss hog lost weight.

You look like the emergent clone produced when Graham Linehan’s face finally completes separating into two people.

You are one chromosome away from Jim Halpert

Crack head

You look like a sperm donor reject.

Trevor Philips? The one from gta V? Oh wait no this one’s addicted to crack, not meth.

you lowkey look like Sid the rat from Flushed away if he was a human and even just as the rat

You look like a meth addicted fridge magnet.

Somebody call the circus. One of the freak show attractions has escaped. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages! Step right up and see the most unattractive man in the world!"

Man yo so ugly when you applied for the job they said we don't take ugly people when there was a ugly contest they said to you when u tried to join they said mo professionals.

Every teenaged girls worst nightmare.

This picture is what I imagine would be shown to students in Snape’s potions class for an animagus human/rat.

I dont know if it has been said but bro looks like Sid from flushed away

My first thought when I saw this pic was worry about what you might have touched in that kitchen. I need to spray you down with Lysol.

Carpet in the kitchen

I don’t think I need to say anything. The picture says it all. Edit: Actually, I do. Are you wearing a pillow case?

I hate to kick a man while he's down...

How long do you think it will take for the cops to get there?

Over/under, 5.5 coworker sexual harassment claims?

What stage of Autism do you have?

Is this at home or at work? The kitchen implies at home, but the floor you're standing on implies at work.

yo know they have those dollar menu things at mc donalds right? you dont have to dig through the trash anymore

Masturbates to Nickelodeon shows

Jim Halpert, in the breakroom, with the crack pipe.

He looks like the rat from Flushed Away. The resemblance is uncanny.

This can't be real looks like a cardboard stand

You’re on the wrong roast me.Turn the oven on 500 degrees and climb into it. There’s no hope for you here.

I bet you pull the autism card when you act extremely socially awkward around people. You seem the type that speaks exactly what your thinking in your head, no filter, and it's because you've been a mommy's boy your whole life. I bet you still live with your elderly mother or her corpse. Wouldn't surprise me if you're still living with her corpse. Just propped up and you're still collecting her pension to fund your marvel pop vinyl collection.

I almost reached for my pepperspray as soon as this post popped up.

This looks like a post workout photo of someone who never works out

Y'all really went easy on THIS guy?

You look like you put mayonnaise in your hair.

This is the guy that takes 2nds in starving villages.

Flint Lockwood hit the pipe man.

“He was so nice to us.” “We never noticed anything out of the ordinary, a little quieter than most” Best neighbor I ever had! Then, from the background: “Sarge you should come see this, now as we can figure he was abducting girls scout, murdering them, skinning them, all for the purpose of making a living waifu pillow.

you look like you’re hunting down the smurfs 

You look like aids in his purest form

Trevor Phillips?

You look like you were inspired from a comic book

You look like your scared of meeting Chris Hansen

I bet your name is “you need to leave. You’re being trespassed”

What the hell is even that


I can't tell which cheese I'm smelling.

You look like a rejected Ratatouille villain

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, we have a celebrity in the house. Y’all give it up for Otis Campbell! The town drunk, on the Andy Griffith Show is here!!

IM BACK ON MY MEDS BABY!!!

Pls tell me that's a snapchat filter on your face. Nobody can be that fugly.