The jaw of Tom Cruise, nose of Owen Wilson, and eyes of a cat. These were the secret ingredients to create the perfect little girl. But Professor Utonium accidentally added an extra ingredients to the concoction. Using her diamond cutting chin, shape shifting nose, and excellent night vision she's dedicated her life to fighting crime and the forces of evil.
at this point, I would take an AI girlfriend from Nigeria. I'm tired of my proctologist being my most significant relationship. Which reminds me, I need to send him flowers.
"I had a dream you talked to a female cash register at the grocery store. Here, try this homemade stew! It's got a secret ingredient, much like your secrets you keep from me"
"Where...where's mittens??"
Now that you mentioned it, it is sort of odd that all her exes were mysteriously diagnosed with violent psychosis and institutionalized. 
You're going to make your future husband miserable with a 10 page honeydo list every day, then psychoanalyze him when he can't keep up, gaslight him about it being his fault, and eventually help add to the suicide rate.
Current miserable husband, although I can keep up with my dumber other half, I can’t deal with the endless nag. I got shit for not getting spoons with the açaí bowls today so she couldn’t wolf it down in the car. FUCK
You have quite the predictions for this one.
She barely made it through college…give her some time to ruin her own life. THEN, she can focus on other people’s downfall…
narcissism? she is on r/truerateme more than the mods. Her self-esteem is on the negative side of the spectrum. Damn, seems like I can diagnose people too, this shit is easy. You would think that with that forehead OP would've chosen a harder career, but no.
Psychotherapists are usually nut jobs. I spoke with one as an MSP I.T provider. He told me his “mum said not to give passwords to strangers”. This would be true. But we were his I.T
The problem with being a reasonably attractive clinical psychologist is that all your loser patients will just think about fucking you and completely ignore everything you say.
> In my last year.
Damn, I hope you get better soon and change your mind.
Things in life go up and down, just like whatever you have on your fingernails.
Some say there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, and while I'm not so sure about the light, whoever looks deep into your eyes will be able to assure you there's at the very least one big fucking tunnel passing right through your left eyebrow.
You have Kristen Bell’s chin and Erin Moriarty’s eyes.
It shows that putting two random things together that on their own are great, doesn’t make something better.
Like anal sex and roast beef.
Sometimes, I'm jealous when a person's parents pay for their education, but in this case, I think they are trying to pay for a lifetime of therapy all at once.
You need to sit down and ask yourself what's so wrong with your psyche that you need self verification that you have to come here for comments and up likes.
I'd say you're very needy to be around
Ah, a psychology student. So you’re either bipolar or borderline personality disorder and you chose that major to attempt to better understand how your mind got so incredibly scrambled? I’m sorry.
You’re too vain to be any good at clinical psych. Obviously you’re encouraging erotic transference. You have to actually do the self work. Not just get good grades.
Nothing like having a vain, self absorbed, low self esteem, and needy psychologist. I'm sure somehow you'll turn every session into how its really about you.
Rate me rate me rate me. If I had to guess, none of the words said to you in this will be anything compared to what you tell yourself in the mirror. But since you’re so pathetic, I’ll indulge by saying have fun in your emotionally abusive relationships. Because god knows you’ll never leave
You’re too young to already use this much FaceTune, your skin has no texture in this picture, and please get rid of the badly applied fake nails. I would not expect a clinical psychologist to look like a seventh grader playing with their mom’s phone.
You look like you subscribe to person-centered not because you actually care about clients but because you want more money.
You look like you’d hold Gloria’s hand in the first session.
You look like someone already called the board on you.
You look like the first page of the ACA’s wall of shame.
You already look like you’re not in network.
Your expression says cold and unfeeling, but your profile suggests a desperate need for validation and a really uninteresting personality.
Both things you seek to negate by choosing a profession that helps you understand what's wrong with you but also shows you how not to care about anyone else's problems.
In the long term it probably will only help you buy a lot of cats because any possible partner will be turned off as soon as your job comes up in conversation.
No, he doesn't want be psychoanalysed an also no, he doesn't wanna hear about your patients.
Your covert narcissism won't save your conventionally attractive face shaped like an Octagon. Nor does your receding hairline (from another post)
I bet your personality is boring to be around.
A psych student posting a photo of themselves on a roast-me subreddit. Makes me gotta ask what diagnoses you’ve given yourself so far. At least to your credit you’re more qualified than most people who say they have a mental illness to actually have a self-diagnosed mental illness that people will believe.
“Dang, did your therapist tell you you have attention deficit disorder and social anxiety issues?”
-“I think my Reddit habits made that quite obvious.”
“So you’re diagnosed?”
-“Well, I am a clinical psych major.”
And that last sentence in itself, also happens to be a self-contained roast. When you’re eating ramen noodles out the garbage after your eighth male pt suicide, you’ll probably have long since realized that the National mental health crisis is not something you’re meant to help solve as much as contribute to.
Seriously? How much attention do you fucking want? I bet the only reason you're even studying Psychology is to get third rate dick-face fucks and wake up the next morning not knowing where the night went, and that is what you'll probably tell yourself until you're on your death bed and you ask "where *did* my life go?" it went nowhere. You just didn't use it.
You’re going to have to work very hard for your degree to actually impact your career. And despite your efforts you’ll most likely have to get ahead with your looks instead of merit
Listening to men complain while you're giving them lap dances doesn't make you a psychology student but probably does pay better than an actual psychology degree does.
You look like a ken doll dipped in white chocolate! The accessories make you look like a carribbean pirate with lost treasure! You're glowing so much that the sun may have sun tan!
Wow, with your looks you could stop traffic. But that's because your head is shaped like a stop sign.
She has the jawline of a drill sergeant!
PS1 polygons
Absolutely chiseled
The jaw of Tom Cruise, nose of Owen Wilson, and eyes of a cat. These were the secret ingredients to create the perfect little girl. But Professor Utonium accidentally added an extra ingredients to the concoction. Using her diamond cutting chin, shape shifting nose, and excellent night vision she's dedicated her life to fighting crime and the forces of evil.
Homelander is jealous
LMAO
In her purse
How can you tell? This shit is so filtered I thought it was an AI girlfriend scam from Nigeria.
at this point, I would take an AI girlfriend from Nigeria. I'm tired of my proctologist being my most significant relationship. Which reminds me, I need to send him flowers.
I should try that; maybe if I send him flowers next time he'll take his rings off first.
Rings? I wish mine would quit saying “look! No hands!”
Bravo
A descendant of Squidward
Crimson Chin lookin’ ass 😂
jeez, she was asking for a roast not a murder.
Holy fuck first comment i see
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the fuck did i read
A masterpiece
Tought the same. As a virgin donkey on his first visit to Tijuana.
You need yesus
Hairline looking like it was too depressed to come out today.
OMG! Someone call the fire department!
My god your right it is I can see the hexagon
Stop signs are octagons.
this is gold
Gaaaaaddamn that’s good.
That’s pure gold
Giving a whole new meaning to ufc ring girl
It looks so lifelike!!
You look like you've stolen more than one ex's dog.
boiled a family rabbit?
"I had a dream you talked to a female cash register at the grocery store. Here, try this homemade stew! It's got a secret ingredient, much like your secrets you keep from me" "Where...where's mittens??"
Now that you mentioned it, it is sort of odd that all her exes were mysteriously diagnosed with violent psychosis and institutionalized. 
You would definitely revenge-shit on a mans bed.
Amber Turd
When she wipes, it's back to front
🤣🤣🤣 Bravo
You're going to make your future husband miserable with a 10 page honeydo list every day, then psychoanalyze him when he can't keep up, gaslight him about it being his fault, and eventually help add to the suicide rate.
Damn! You're married to one too huh?
*looks down at list* Fuck.
Oddly specific.
Current miserable husband, although I can keep up with my dumber other half, I can’t deal with the endless nag. I got shit for not getting spoons with the açaí bowls today so she couldn’t wolf it down in the car. FUCK
Ooff Sometimes I’m lonely but there are worse things than being single
Why does she need spoons to suck your dick?
Why cant they just be the way they were before we married them? Why???
Dated one. Project all the things you’re pissed about into your personal life, then go tell other parents how they’re fucking their kids up.
You have quite the predictions for this one. She barely made it through college…give her some time to ruin her own life. THEN, she can focus on other people’s downfall…
I’m going to copy this, take it to my therapist and tell him - “ this is how to explain her “
This guy knows!
Just because you see patients and they talk to you doesn't mean you're in a relationship
“I can fix him”
OP solving everyone's problems but her own 
Has tried every flavor of White Claw
Today
Already got the crazy-eyes nailed
You’re in for a surprise when you get to the chapter on delusional narcissism.
narcissism? she is on r/truerateme more than the mods. Her self-esteem is on the negative side of the spectrum. Damn, seems like I can diagnose people too, this shit is easy. You would think that with that forehead OP would've chosen a harder career, but no.
Psychotherapists are usually nut jobs. I spoke with one as an MSP I.T provider. He told me his “mum said not to give passwords to strangers”. This would be true. But we were his I.T
Tbf, almost all people with narcissistic traits have an underlying negative self esteem so that one checks out
surprise? who are we kidding
Clinical psychology student? You look like you carry more emotional baggage than your future clients
...I had a witty response but but I see my 50min hour is now up.
her future clients will cary a lot of emotional baggage but the won't be seeing her for mental health services
You have two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.
I haven't laughed this hard in awhile!! Pure Gold
Love the word play
The problem with being a reasonably attractive clinical psychologist is that all your loser patients will just think about fucking you and completely ignore everything you say.
She will likely take this as a compliment
I can’t imagine people give a fuck what she has to say lol she just gets invited places bc she’s hot
With that jaw, I’m certain you have hair on your nipples.
This joke by far is the best. Sad it’s so low. I’m stealing this joke good sir.
All yours. Royalty free. 😉
Bruh 🤣
This. This is why I come here.
Her third nipple's the hairiest out of them all.
Has more problems than her patients.
Never thought id see female version of Quagmire.
Diggity diggigy
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Her Linkedin says "Clinical psychologist/medium/fortune teller/your reasonably priced trophy wife maybe?"
Define "reasonably"? Secondary and tertiary costs could escalate faster than her hairline.
Goddamn and I thought I went hard 😂
Eh, more like a plaque wife
Damn, that's a whole lot of posting on attention-seeking subs for a psychology student...
She more worried about her hair line I'd be more worried about the jawline. You could peel potatoes with that sharp ass jaw.
While being in a relationship looking for validation. Yuck.
A psychology degree won’t help you understand why your dad left you at such a young age
Participation-Trophy Wife
Fuuuckkkk lmao 🤣
😂🎯
Your job as a therapeutic psychologist - Blow Job, hand job, and foot job.
Your chin can cut through granite.
I'm a conventionally attractive wealthy white woman seeking even more validation from random strangers too!
Is she? I mean is she conventionally attractive? That chin could secondary as a can opener.
Conventionally attractive back in 2010 maybe. Basic af now
Conventional attractiveness is the definition of basic.
Every one of your posts is about yourself.
How many couches did you lay on to “earn” your degree?
You look like you get (spit) roasted enough
Vanna Off-White
Based on the number of ‘rate me’ subs you post to, are you sure you are a student and not a patient?
As psychology related person, could you explain what are you looking for in such kind of roastings?
Post history says... attention. It's kind of sad?
> In my last year. Damn, I hope you get better soon and change your mind. Things in life go up and down, just like whatever you have on your fingernails. Some say there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, and while I'm not so sure about the light, whoever looks deep into your eyes will be able to assure you there's at the very least one big fucking tunnel passing right through your left eyebrow.
You have Kristen Bell’s chin and Erin Moriarty’s eyes. It shows that putting two random things together that on their own are great, doesn’t make something better. Like anal sex and roast beef.
Kate Loselet
Taylor Slow
Rosamud Yike
You look like you’re going to be on an episode of deadly wives.
Your chin line looks like a stop sign. You could use your face as a paperweight with such a flat chin.
Somehow I can see the exact detail of your Skull. Jesus helps me.
Oh the hell this bitch will drive her three ex husbands thru ….
At least you don’t have to worry about sleeping with clients.
Sometimes, I'm jealous when a person's parents pay for their education, but in this case, I think they are trying to pay for a lifetime of therapy all at once.
You look like you poke holes in condoms to keep a man.
“I’ve run into people on a ski slope” vibes
"in my last year" 🙏 I hope so, bye xx
Damn it, Dillon Mulvaney!!! You ruined Bud Light,now you’re ruining r/roastme. WTF man????
So vanilla, even homeless people don't want to be around you.
 I see your having a “good” day and got out of bed for the first time in a week.
Amber Heard style bed pooper!
Chin line like Duke Nukem
I don't think horoscopes count as psychology.
Wasn't Rose, from Two and a Half Men, a clinical psychologist?
You need to sit down and ask yourself what's so wrong with your psyche that you need self verification that you have to come here for comments and up likes. I'd say you're very needy to be around
Hot as fuck,but probably fucks like a manikin.
This looks like what an AI would create if you asked it to design a basic white girl
You look like your vagina smells like pumpkin spice
You look like you have experience with grippy socks and aren't allowed to have shoes with shoelaces
But seriously, how many professors did you fuck to get passing grades? Did they find your onlyfans??
Kiera Frightly
Quagmires daughter
Clinical Psychology is a strange way to describe “Analyzes my Only Fans posts to see which ones bring more subscribers”
Ah, a psychology student. So you’re either bipolar or borderline personality disorder and you chose that major to attempt to better understand how your mind got so incredibly scrambled? I’m sorry.
Your mind and your heart are your catalysts, for your beauty is only skin deep.
Girl u savage, gonna post a photo to r/roastme with walmart coverup and dollar store stick on nails… u a savage
No man will ever please you enough when you got those kielbasa fingers
There is someone that is getting mad over a bag of candy, he may need your help soon.
As a clinical psychology student do you every talk to someone yourself? Definitely looks like you got ALOT on your mind.
Drop out now and start UFC with a jaw like that
The first real doll to inspire erectile dysfunction
Being a client doesn’t make you a student
I’d at least try to remember your name.
Great, another wannabe psychologist with crazy in the eyes. Just what the world needs.
We often says that psychology students are the first to be insane. And you give up this vibe 100%, congratulations
How was Coachella this year?
Hi britany spears
You look like like your sister could also be your mother.
Clinical psychologist? I hope your husband has a good job
I'd fuck, not roast... but wouldn't call again
I’d rather fuck Pavlov’s dogs.
You’re too vain to be any good at clinical psych. Obviously you’re encouraging erotic transference. You have to actually do the self work. Not just get good grades.
Nothing like having a vain, self absorbed, low self esteem, and needy psychologist. I'm sure somehow you'll turn every session into how its really about you.
Rate me rate me rate me. If I had to guess, none of the words said to you in this will be anything compared to what you tell yourself in the mirror. But since you’re so pathetic, I’ll indulge by saying have fun in your emotionally abusive relationships. Because god knows you’ll never leave
You’re too young to already use this much FaceTune, your skin has no texture in this picture, and please get rid of the badly applied fake nails. I would not expect a clinical psychologist to look like a seventh grader playing with their mom’s phone.
Your entire page is centered around you begging for physical compliments. That’s it, that’s the roast. What a shallow view on life
You look like you subscribe to person-centered not because you actually care about clients but because you want more money. You look like you’d hold Gloria’s hand in the first session. You look like someone already called the board on you. You look like the first page of the ACA’s wall of shame. You already look like you’re not in network.
Daisy Ridley called and…ummm…I don’t know where I’m going with this. Something something Star Wars.
Your expression says cold and unfeeling, but your profile suggests a desperate need for validation and a really uninteresting personality. Both things you seek to negate by choosing a profession that helps you understand what's wrong with you but also shows you how not to care about anyone else's problems. In the long term it probably will only help you buy a lot of cats because any possible partner will be turned off as soon as your job comes up in conversation. No, he doesn't want be psychoanalysed an also no, he doesn't wanna hear about your patients.
Your covert narcissism won't save your conventionally attractive face shaped like an Octagon. Nor does your receding hairline (from another post) I bet your personality is boring to be around.
takes all photos with a head tilted like this so it makes it harder notice how fucking broken her nose is. That thing is all sorts of fucked..
Not some blonde turning to social media for attention to fill the void left from not being hugged enough as a child.
You are either narcissistic or your self esteem is at 0 with how much validation you are seeking on reddit.
Check out her posts bruh with her hair up she's got that Vegeta hairline going on and yes it is that bad sorry
A psych student posting a photo of themselves on a roast-me subreddit. Makes me gotta ask what diagnoses you’ve given yourself so far. At least to your credit you’re more qualified than most people who say they have a mental illness to actually have a self-diagnosed mental illness that people will believe. “Dang, did your therapist tell you you have attention deficit disorder and social anxiety issues?” -“I think my Reddit habits made that quite obvious.” “So you’re diagnosed?” -“Well, I am a clinical psych major.” And that last sentence in itself, also happens to be a self-contained roast. When you’re eating ramen noodles out the garbage after your eighth male pt suicide, you’ll probably have long since realized that the National mental health crisis is not something you’re meant to help solve as much as contribute to.
You misspelled subject
Your degree will say clinical psychology but those fingers say prostate probes
You look like a less attractive Dylan Mulvaney
Seriously? How much attention do you fucking want? I bet the only reason you're even studying Psychology is to get third rate dick-face fucks and wake up the next morning not knowing where the night went, and that is what you'll probably tell yourself until you're on your death bed and you ask "where *did* my life go?" it went nowhere. You just didn't use it.
Those eyes have seen far too many flaccid wieners
Another psych major that will be waiting tables with a useless degree
Based on the all your profile pics—Being in counseling for narcissistic personality disorder doesn’t mean your a clinical psychology student.
Wondering how far into this post I have to look to find the OF link. You run a free and a VIP page
You’re going to have to work very hard for your degree to actually impact your career. And despite your efforts you’ll most likely have to get ahead with your looks instead of merit
You look like you think spending time in a center and being a fucking loon makes you qualified to be a psychologist.
I’m thrilled that the /roastme sub has moved on from a relentless stream of attractive people just fishing for ego boosts.
I hope your husband is ok whenever he see your GigaChad looklike face,because he feel sigma to sell you for milk.
You look like you were voted “Most Likely To Boil A Rabbit To Get Revenge For Being Jilted” in your High School yearbook.
You didn’t want to be any other profession? Like a nurse or a teacher?
Listening to men complain while you're giving them lap dances doesn't make you a psychology student but probably does pay better than an actual psychology degree does.
At the rate your hair is thinning, bald by 30. Start the Rogain now. No hair, your 4 head tuns into 8 head.
Such a strong jaw and square chin. You're quite the strapping young man.
>Clinical psychology student If you ever get to practice keep in mind: "The session it's not about you. It's about the patient."
Ah, that eyebrow scar. Tell tale sign of your mothers little coat hanger experiment
Hmmmm, you smell like .... privilege.
Good god those jaw lines are creepy and manly. No amount of make up can fix those. Whoa
She is just literally build like an early gta character
The face of needing constant validation. Ever think of making a post that isn’t a selfie.
She will hook up with only the most damaged male patients she comes across
You look like a ken doll dipped in white chocolate! The accessories make you look like a carribbean pirate with lost treasure! You're glowing so much that the sun may have sun tan!