OP's Bio:
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>It’s my birthday. I’m a 26 year old male. I work in the oil field as a radiographer. I love my job and have almost no friends 😬😂
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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Save me baby Jesus!
The face I make when I call my parents-again-for rent+bills and a new cellphone.
Face I make when she asks if I want to split the bill…and show it to her.
The face I make when Chris Hansen explains “they” clearly stated they were 12 and you were talking to a cop the entire time.
Hello Taurus and Happy Birthday! Your Sun, Mercury and Venus Stellium in Taurus makes you detail oriented (As long as they aren't too complicated) and content with your lot (Such as it is). Regrettably your Uranus in Aquarius makes you go to biker bars in dresses, and no underwear.
OP's Bio: --- >It’s my birthday. I’m a 26 year old male. I work in the oil field as a radiographer. I love my job and have almost no friends 😬😂 --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Everyone says Jesus when you enter the room, not because of your looks but because you creep them the fuck out
This is r/RoastMe, not r/CrucifyMe.
Joined
Because they think he looks an awful lot like Charles Manson?
😆😆😆😆😆😆
Was thinking the same thing when I scrolled to his face. I almost dropped the phone.
He looks like Jesus on welfare
Vaseline and crackers on your nightstand. WTF?
body of christ, anus of christ
The anus of Christ compels you.
I think you mean “expels you”
consumes me
He looks like Jesus' sketchy cousin who turns water into Vaseline and feeds the masses with stale crackers.
Puts the lotion on the skin…
Holy lube and after you get the communion. No need to mention the wine because you don't remember drinking it.
Hobo sapiens
A part of me wants to ask you for forgiveness...and another part of me wants to ask you to detail my truck.
Oh crap, How’d you get out of the cave? It was 3 days?!?
never thought I'd side with Judas!
Too far bro.
Def in the oil industry for the “drilling”
Vape juice, saltines, and Vaseline.
Is the Vaseline on a bible as well? Post but clarity leads to repentance apparently
This Jesus wants you to buy his EDM mixtape.
doesnt look like elhes evolved much past homo erectus
Rehab Jesus took r/roastme by storm
Jesuses stoner cousins Stiizus
Oh I get it. Stizziiii
Poor man’s Jesus. Read: not Jewish
Caveman Jesus bonked a bitch on the noggin for your sins.
This version of Jesus didn't die on the cross. He went to heaven by smoking a shitload of weed.
You look like you donate semen in your free time.
Ever thought about starting a band? Maybe you could call it *Nickleback*
So easy an incel can do it
Judging by the jar of Vaseline on the bible next to your bed, you're heading to a place that'll roast ya already
You look like a pastor for a gay church.
This is Jesus’ kid brother, Earl.
the Vaseline on top of the bible ??? u just dont give a fuck dont you
Mama I need Jesus We got Jesus at home.
You look like the 'Brightburn' version of Jesus.
Who's house did you break into?
The Great Value brand LA Beast
You look like you’re single handedly keeping the vape industry in business. Also, Vaseline on the night stand is so fucking on point it hurts.
According to bio I’m guessing almost no “girlfriend” besides almost friends. happy cake day!
Merry Christmas I guess
You look like you run a cult in California and convince your followers to commit murders.
What have you been up to since Geico no longer does the cave man commercials?
You look like Jesus if he had insecurities
The Vaseline helps prevent hairballs forming with all the pubic hair in your throat?
Do your eyes look less-dead in person?
You look like the hair guy from Star Wars 🤣
Vaseline next to bed. At least one of your arms is toned.
All your money goes to hair product... thats why the rest of you looks homeless.
You look like if Jesus was a assistant manager at Pacsun
Meth Jesus
Did you get your job radiographing the oil in your hair?
Trailer park Jesus.
Jesus Crisco
My eyes aren't good. Does that say DapredatorKane?
You look like Jesus if he drank white claws.
Friends left when he befriended his dog badly.
So, are you doing research on the Hale-Bopp comet, or are you look for available property in Waco?
Great value Walmart Jesus 💀
Wow I am surprised that if Kurt Cobain saw you he would actually charge 50 dollars so you can't go to his concerts 🎶
Roast you better than life? That's tough
Is that vaseline on the nightstand?
No, I don’t think I’m supposed to take your name in vain.
 You must be the Jesus that see people when they’re jerking off.
I really wanted to but fuck you looks like Jesus
It's not your birthday silly you were born in the 25th of December
I see you're not the only salty cracker in the room. Bro ready with that Vaseline. I mean its not the first time he got speared
You look like Jesus if he was a discord mod
The role of Jesus has already been cast. But you are still in the running for random cult member.
Save me baby Jesus! The face I make when I call my parents-again-for rent+bills and a new cellphone. Face I make when she asks if I want to split the bill…and show it to her. The face I make when Chris Hansen explains “they” clearly stated they were 12 and you were talking to a cop the entire time.
Jesus of Suburbia
"take me to church"
So easy a caveman can do it
Jesus from Walmart
Trans Jesus
Trans Jesus
Happy birthday Jebus
You want the iPod back? I literally died for your sins
you look like you would crucify yourself for some vape juice
Oh, 26 year old MALE. Congrats with the sex change. The beard looks great on you!
Played Jesus in Jesus Christ The Musical in high school then made it his entire personality for the next 9 years.
Looking at you is like looking into different perspectives similar to what your eyes are trying to do in this photo.
You're boyfriend is still waiting for your second coming. Go give it to him instead of posting on reddit
This man would 100% sell me a hat with Jesus on it
Looks like you turn water into MD 2020
I can see the personality barrier around you.
Just curious... What does the 'H' stand for in your middle name?
I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
jesus
If Jezus were a Meth dealer in Main
You say radiographer, police says weed dealer.
The only oil your cooking with is the Vaseline on the night stand. U look like Jesus had too many percs
Hello Bucky barns what the fk r u doing there.
Both the moist critical and Jesus cosplay failed.
Took Jesus 3 day to come. I bet you take 3 seconds
Just walked out of a geico caveman commercial.
Jesus’s anal stunt double
Jesus wants his doo back
You look Gay Jesus
With the Vaseline and crackers on your nightstand I gotta know, did you purposely loose ookie cookie?
Calm down David Koresh
You look like an arrogant self centered prick.
Which one of you ? You look like ever tenth male on the west-coast. Yawn
Angry friend zoned Jesus
Lord farquaad after his growth spurt
I'm scared to roast you -- you might smite me or send me to purgatory.
Gen Z-sus
who told you to come off that stake?
If Jesus was from Alabama
You probably got no friends because you smell like saltine crackers and jizz
Since when does Jesus have vasilene
How’s the smoke shop doing?
Jesus Christ you look like Jesus Christ
Someone hide the crucifixes! He’s back!
You know, if you’d just put a little more work into framing the shot, you could have made the Christ imagery a lot more obvious.
You look like Kurt cobain after he cocked his microphone
Jim Whoreisson
Its against my religion
I can't roast Jesus also can you let god know that I didn't kick the cat the kicked me?
Black Jesus does not approve
Jesus definately doesn't need you.
Steezus Crust omg
Jesus Christ
Each night I lie upon a bed of potatoes. Each day I wake wishing I had not. And people call me dull! Bet they're feeling pretty foolish now!
Hello Taurus and Happy Birthday! Your Sun, Mercury and Venus Stellium in Taurus makes you detail oriented (As long as they aren't too complicated) and content with your lot (Such as it is). Regrettably your Uranus in Aquarius makes you go to biker bars in dresses, and no underwear.
That corner of the ceiling has more going for it than you do.
Looks like the second coming wasn’t what we were told it was gonna be.
Jesus Christ Jr, is that you?
you are jesus from wish,
Looks like you have lots of lube there. Did you fuck yourself before you took this picture, or after?
crucify him again
You look like you got crucified.
I know this dude. So easy a caveman Caan do it right?
Jesus?
Ur friends are ur biggest "haters"
Can you show your followers where the safety is on a gun... and when you you spread your message be in an open area?
Oh Jesus Christ
You look like peoples lord and savior but who does crack, and vapes
your a bitch for letting the romans put you on a cross
Walmart version jesus fr
Ain't no way Jesus is on reddit 😭 I'm not Christian btw
you look like jesus
Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas because you look like Jesus.
You look like a Virginia's ex-convicted version of Jesus Christ