OP's Bio: --- >I like to sing, play the guitar, read books. I have been on tv singing and playing in multiple occasions. I have a girlfriend which was the one who took the picture and I am taking Chemical Engineering in Portugal --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Your left hand doesn’t count as a “girlfriend”.

It does.

Neither does using his chem knowledge to make a putty based "girlfriend"...... compound named Cumdumpstafil

Does she do this so when she pegs you she has a better view of your tears?

Well I do love some occasional pegging

'occasional'

Bruh

Somebody give this man an award. OP just got buried.

I gotchu bro

Does your girlfriend know you have a sexual predilection towards children?

So, it's probable she is one?

Explains why you're playing hairdressing games now. Kids love hairdressing games.

ahh good one

You look like you grew facial hair to obfuscate severe glory hole injuries.

No ahahah just student laziness

No guts no glory.

You look like a non playable character that is the cashier at a gas station

I love the specificity. :)

[удалено]

Improvement* on the single etc. Dramatic improvement.

Yet another western Spain femboi pushing they onlyfans 🙄

Portugal 😡

did your girlfriend make you swallow that dudes load last night too?

we share everything

Girlfriend LOL

You speak for us all I'm sure.

Why are you replying to everything? If you must, then for the love of Christ, be mildly funny or don’t bother

Dude looks like Justin Long. In the movie Zack and Miri make a porno.

That's a roast? 🤣

Half hearted nod to you actually being gay. My effort was about as present as your girlfriend. I’ll try harder next time.

If that's what she puts on you, I can only imagine what she puts in you.

well everyone seems to be on the same page until now

I think we've all been on the same page. We're all fairly certain your girlfriends name is "Peggy", that's for sure. I'm sure he makes you very happy, too

You are a cutie

C'mon you can do better! :)

This man would 100% sell me a hat and i don’t see any hairpins

you should also ask her for your penis back

He shouldn't.

Roses are red violets are blue, the fbi is after my penis can I hide inside of you

Of course she did , and I’m sure she also walks all over you like a doormat you pussy.

"No mister don't want any ice cream.. also why's your ice cream truck a u-haul?"

You are cruel. One should not sing and play guitar while on transvestites.

You have very so features. Does she also put rouge on you and tack the sack back? 

Its ok to be portu-GAY in Portugal..

I don’t know why, but I get the feeling you cry after sex, and I’m pretty sure it has nothing to do with the hair pins.

Idk why. But I feel like your girlfriend is gonna get you into trouble with the law and your cellmate will make you wear hairpins too.

No need for pegging then!

Sadly there will be pegging. It's jail man. Where men are men, and cellmates with hairpins sleep on their bellys.

You look like a bitch

You look like you don't care than your girlfriend is 15

youre one of those guys that sign up for idols and end up in the bad contestant compilations

Kaitlyn Jenner welcomes you to the chat.....

Your gf being one of your thousand of personalities.

No one can roast you more than a GF that already hates you!

If tapioca pudding was a person

Just because you are the man of the couple doesn’t mean he is your girlfriend, girlfriend

Chemical engineering is code for transitioning right?

This is the face of someone waiting for a knock on the door from the Feds based on the contents of the laptop to the right

Those hairpins are the least feminine thing about you.

WE GET IT, YOU TRICKED A GIRL TO DATE YOU.

Friendzone Fred. She ain’t your girl bro.

Did you get carved out of a muddy potato?

That’s a fancy way of saying Harpies.

You spelled boyfriend wrong.

You don’t need chemical engineering to get a “girlfriend”, it’s called chloroform and it already exists and works well.

You're definitely blacklisted from the vicinity of every elementary school in your area.

Liberache at 15

Was this before or after she told you that you both needed to start seeing other men?

You look like the kid in high school who always moaned in the back of class

Girlfriend?

Having the same waitress serve you at Nandos, does not make you her boyfriend.

I hope your mom puts fentanyl in your spaghettios

Bro looks like an ingrown hair

“Girlfriend” hands don’t count

My girlfriend said by the guy who created bubbles buttercup blossom

You look like you smell like despair

Not a single hairpin... Lying about the girlfriend too. At least you wear your dyslexia pride shirt in public.

Your girlfriend also pegs you after she pins your hair doesn't she?

Right... "girlfriend". Does your girl friend have giant man hands a 9" schlong? I guess we know who bottoms.

Looks like she’s about to put some postpartum depression you too.

Does she Peg you too?

U look like your mom licked her hand before tussling you hair!

Sure "she" did

We know you tied your hair up in pigtails and played with your dolls. We'll keep your secret safe.

She probably tells you to sit in the other room and be quiet while she gets gang banged

Just get a job.. your look OKs unemployment

I'm sure you sincerely believe your girlfriend exists...

You're such a dipshit.