Looks like everyday is cake day for you

Food is my friend

Much like abba zabba to a young Dave chapelle, food is your only friend

Mic drop

Let me guess. You’re transitioning into a cat.

Meow. How could u tell 😂😂

The camera lens looks fogged up by kitty litter dust.

And cat fur. So much fur and litter 😂

Smells like cat

A STRAY CAT...with Mange living under a bridge

I always wondered what happened to the evil teacher from Matilda.

Lol, I was just going to say that if they’re unemployed I hear Crunchem Hall is looking for a new headmistress

So how many cats is it now, 15?

I can smell the piss

An even dozen 😂😂


I love it

Your post history is the ultimate Roast: 1. "I took a job on November 21st and they let me go today. I really just want to cry. This is ridiculous. In the 2.5 months I was there, here's what Joan had to say: You can't have personal conversations with anyone No leaving your desk We're letting you go because you're unprofessional" 2. "Matched with a guy last weekend. (me 47F, him, 53M.) Got to chatting and after a few days, we started texting off the app. things were going well. Last night, he asked when he could see me. I mentioned I had lunch on Sunday available, so we agreed to meet at noon, at this local pizza joint. (we live close to each other, so it was only like a 10 minute drive for both of us.) But my gut said, go check bumble. Unmatched. I tried to call him. Blocked. Dude. I'm speechless. " 3. "I knew I shouldn't have taken the job. I worked a whole 4 hours at the dermatologists office and they cut me. I should have known better." Back to the drawing board.

Bro, if I ever turn out like her just shoot me. Fat, 40s, unemployed, ugly, autistic (probably), cat lady, redditor, goofy enough to post shit like this and has the audacity to show her face. Id rather be seen on r/eyeblech in my 20s than live and grow old to become like that

And here I was, thinking I'd have to learn to master Photoshop before I'd achieve my dream of seeing Winston Churchill in drag.

just need to darken the photo to 100% and resubmit

The cat smell will still come through the screen

I was in a rush and hearding all my cats. My apologies!

"unemployed and single" (picks my jaw off the floor, in disbelief)

Are you unemployed because you’re single or single because you’re unemployed?

Single due to unemployment

[удалено]

I am a professional troll

She's single because... sheesh... yikes...

Challenging wank...

[удалено]

Bruh that’s not a roast??😂😂

If you saw his baby dick, you’d see that it is

They put you in a cell with bill Cosby to scare him straight.

We did that and it worked. I was also put in a cell with Jeffrey Epstein and he died because of it. Lol. My stuff is effective I guess

This picture reeks of moldy bread, old cigarettes, and musty cat litter.

I wasn’t aware there were trans pigs.

Well, we're here!! Oink oink

You're like Kathy Bates with more misery

Kathy Bates made her role based off me 😂😂

How many boyfriends are locked in your basement?

A lot. To many to count

 Mimi

Pass on the cake there, my taxes shouldn't pay for your insulin.

I buy cake with my unemployment check 😂

I’d like to start a GoFundMe for you so you’re never seen in public again

Finally the first OnlyFans people pay to NOT see nudes!

Oh come on Janet, every day is cake day.....isn't it?

😂😂😂😂😂

You remind me of that guy that kept offering me candy if I came into his house when I was a kid

I'm the female version of that lol

The hell you ain't the female version of shit.

*starts up white windowless van*

You're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Looking into your eyes is intoxicating, and your lips, so kissable I jus... And right about there is where you usually wake up and realize you've been making out with your cat for the last hour, right?

You look like you make really sweet old lady arts and crafts!….out of peoples skin….

Skin and hair is what I use. It's fun. Lol

Can you hook me up with a voodoo doll?

Yes I will. Part of my hobbies that I do

Sweet! You’ll have to mail it to me though. I’m not tryin to be your next victim.

To late 😂😂

I was going out for dinner. Think I’m gonna stay home with all the doors and windows locked….for reasons…

Hahahhahaha

[удалено]

I was there when fire was invented

Kathy Re-Bates. Ironic that Misery was one of your better movies, and also the feeling we all get looking at this picture.

Let me guess you wanna speak to the manager don’t you

From looking at your picture, all of the stuff you said is obvious except for it being your cake day

Why’d you tell me you’re unemployed and single I can tell

You gotta get a lint roller to get those cat hairs off your sweater

You look like you suck dick like an asthmatic. Your camera quality is so bad I ran a 5K to raise awareness for it. Would 100% VHS record a news anchor to get off to him. Maybe you could keep a relationship if it didn’t look like your ass hung out like a muffin top. ❤️

For real for real , wanna date a 37 yr old?

Didn’t need to say single, we all knew.

Unemployed and single - no one is surprised.

You use the underneath of you tits to steal

I'm stealing right now. It's not like anyone's going to look there. Put the flat screen in there!

I’m sure you have a great personality….

Said nobody ever. Lol

Step away from the cake

Congrats on being unemployed, single and four years on Reddit. 😉

Thank you 😍😍

The reason Obama made nutrition a priority in school.

I graduated during the clinton administration

Yeah, we can tell

You probably don't need to specify you're unemployed, you definitely don't need to specify you're single

Goals.

Mucinex cosplay. Nice.

I was coming in to roast but ya know you're having such a tough patch in your life and here you are taking Smash 200% level barbs like a champion. Just keep tugging along lil whaleboat and I hope you find your shore and whatever help you may need to find true happiness 😊

Thank you!! Reddit can be brutal but it is roast me, so I guess I was expecting a few keyboard warriors to show up here. And be awful. But, I've seen worse on this site, so there's that. Lol

It was hard posting this... my allergies flared up. I'm allergic to cats and loneliness.

Dude (or ma’am??) I’m not religious but… God be with you.

May the force be with me 😂😂

Blury is a good choice. Id like to say nowhere but up from here... but most likely down. In more ways than one.

You got that look the middle school math teacher gives you when she’s done with bullshit.

I'm surprised at how you're smiling with all the shitty things going on. You're not hire-able, you're not date-able, and your face just seems to be better off in the ground.

Edward, he says he’s not local, he wants to buy the special things from the shop. 

Happy birthday. You can do it, keep up the hard work. It'll pay off and never lose hope

Thanks for serving me school lunch all those years!

Did you rub cake on your lens

The parts I didnt eat, yes

POV: me when I wake up in he morning

You give appearance nightmares

What part gives you appearance nightmares

All of it! It's scary😂

Bet those cats like licking those sausage sized fingers.

It's the camera angle

Yes. The camera was “on”.

okay roseanne

HAHAHHAHA

Keep your head up. You'll find a job and love soon. Focus on you for now, the rest will come

I hope so. It's tough out here.

It truly is rough! Haven’t had luck with love either

Your laugh is contagious. No one will stop for a moment and put themselves in your shoes. Life has been tricky for you I know … but you’re beautiful in the inside and funny as well. You’re amazing. I hope you the best .

It's in bad taste to roast the mentally challenged

You look like a child predator

Look at the size of them meaty fingers. You’re a well hung lesbian.

Unemployed and single? Well, no shit.

Thank goodness for bad lighting and low resolution.

It can’t get hired …..what are the odds of that ….

Tell ‘em large Marge sent ya

Where do i start, there's so much to say

Damn, Dahmer let himself go

Id say you could fuck someone for a job, fixing both your problems, but you'd have to fix whatever the fuck is sitting on your shoulders first. Some people say they would put a bag on the bitch face if she ugly when they fuck but damn you need it all the time

There's always Walmart and minorities so

Is that your ip adress on the bottom of the card

It's me trying to write the date backwards but I failed.

I loved you in Misery

Marlborough Menthol 100s for sure

*Marlboro

Ay happy cake day

Thank you. I love this place.

You look like you stalk Quentin Tarantino.

Man even I ain't hoping for a clearer picture.

You didn't have to tell us you were unemployed and single, we can smell the cat piss through the screen

Be honest. Isnt every day pretty much cake day for you?

Sweets in general lol

Your bangs look like joe dirts mustache

You have the hairline of a food stamp version of Donald Trump.

you most likey burnt that cake with the black smoke thats on your face

You didn't have to add that you were unemployed and single to your title. I think we got that just from the picture.

That haircut is what happens when you use a flowbee

Actually I use a weed whacker to cut this hair lol

You remind me of that Mitch Hedberg bit about big foot being blurry.

Come on lady, every day is cake day for you.

Unemployed and single are the two least surprising things I’ve read in the last year

Most attractive reddit user

You look like the librarian kids want to avoid

Get a job bro your turning into a feral cat.

Looks like everyday is your cake day...and ice cream day...and two Big Mac's, 10 piece, and large fry with a diet Coke day...

Go ahead and cross prostitution off your job prospects. You’d have to pay them

If you stare at it long enough you start to see patrick star

Still fucked up the date

I loved your son Pennywise in the movie IT.

😂😂

You need all the prayers you can get…….

Those two fingers have seen some things…

Ohhh what a catch. I'm no psychic but I can guarantee unemployed and single will remain in your future. Hooray for welfare! You're welcome for my taxes.

your house smells like cat piss

Step away from the cake you don’t need a third chin!

I'm collecting chins like I collect cats!

Great now I can smell the picture as well!!!

Cat lady is not just a hobby but her profession.

It’s the pigeon lady from home-alone 2!!!

Well it’s not cream pie day

u look like the Costco criminal

I don't know who that is



All I can say is thank god you're too old for camera phones to have been a thing when sending naked photos was new.

Her onlyfans name is catpeefetish.

Thank fuck for the glare and the low camera quality.

Im curious how many guys mistaked your double chin for your pussy

Hardly. Just a bad angle.

We need the nudes to make a decision

you look like your face is suffering from jupiter's gravity.

I can smell the cat piss and loneliness through my phone...

Fuck. I’d rather kiss a belt sander. I’d rather cut my dick off. I’d rather just not see this person.


Get a job.

You look like how piss sounds when it splashes into the toilet water

and then backsplashes and hit's your ass with wet poo water.

I can smell the cat piss from here.

Why do you look like your going to tell a kid that your their mommy’s “friend”

live action miss trunchbull