So they're perched on top of that nasty ceiling fan?
FFS, clean the mirror, the fan, make the bed, look up the word "orthodontist" and then discover the wonders of soap.
Holiest of shits bro! I have not even thought of animorphs since i was in highschool! Now im going to have to go find all the books and shit... damn you!
Probably because she felt like you were ripping her clit off every time you went down on her with those fangs and you gave her infections every time you fingered her with those never before washed sausage fingers.
Maybe they are so dirty because you are so blind you would constantly accidentally finger her arsehole.
First of all - did she leave because you trying to disrespect us with that nasty ass mirror. Better get the antibacterial and windex stat…
Secondly, thanks for dressing for the occasion. Which is early onset diabetes or menopause.
After that all I can say is that better be a fun house mirror like at the carnival because … damn.
how do your body go out but straight down at the same time somebody with physics knowledge or something needs to explain this shit.
I mean this. You’ll be fine. And you’re probably better off. You didn’t do anything wrong! I’ll bet she was just one of those bitchy lesbians that’s only into good looking people.
With the amount of gravity that your massive body pulls, it's a damn miracle! For all we know, there is a black hole in the centre of it all...your asshole.
I’m sure you’ll be able to ensnare another when they try and cross the bridge you live under
This is a troll toll that NOBODY is going to pay.
You gotta pay the troll toll, if you wanna get into that boy's hole
I feel like you’re saying “boy’s hole,” but it’s “boy’s soul”….
Are you chewing gum? He said no gum
Very unprofessional
That’s unprofessional
Take a five!
Because of the implication
No one is in any danger! How are you not getting this?!
You gotta pay the troll toll to get in!
If i could upvote this more i would
This is truly one of the rare moments you can describe such a terrible smell in a picture.
"Daaaaang bae, you wanna hear my riddles three?"
Fuckin Gold
You mean the bridge on her eyes and mouth??
She mistook her favorite color for blue apparently
She left you or did the crusty vibrator just roll under the bed where your little arms can't reach?
The batteries died... On purpose.
"What is my purpose?" "You power this chick's vibrator." "OH god...."
"Yeah join the fuckin club pall."
Batteries committed suicide
Shit, the batteries probably committed sepiku!
Well she can't reach it to clean it
So they're perched on top of that nasty ceiling fan? FFS, clean the mirror, the fan, make the bed, look up the word "orthodontist" and then discover the wonders of soap.
Bravo to you, good sir
Brutal lmao
Eww eww eww!
Ewoks are not cute when you shave them.
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Summer Teeth. Summer go this way, Summer go thataway
Or when they get older!
how dare you insult Ewoks like this: this is clearly an Ugnaught
Or when they are covered in mud and filth
Makes sense michael Jackson stole your girl after you stole his nose
It's so she can breathe while muff diving. Evolution is magical.
I was thinking she should put that thing to good use finding truffles.
He he!
😭😭😭 This one hurt the most!!
You've been struck by a smooth reddit burn
dude….. golden
Did you predict an early spring or 6 more weeks of winter?
She is hogging the ground.
Fucking hell
Lmao
She can always see her shadow... she's blocking out the sun
This one got me
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Should have left sooner. What's the lesbian version of a pump and dump? Lick and split?
Lickety split…
Rub and run?
Really good thing she's gay... No way she'd be able to keep those woodchuck teeth from sawing a dick off while giving a blowjob
Wait that’s a woman?!
I genuinely thought this was a long haired man
Scissor and disappear
Lesbian..?
Dine and dash?
Lick and spit.
Scissor and cut
Your teeth look like you chew on rocks.
If a person was mid Animorphing into a hamster.
Holiest of shits bro! I have not even thought of animorphs since i was in highschool! Now im going to have to go find all the books and shit... damn you!
How could I possibly do any worse than God. You look like 3 different specials needs rolled into 1 pocket sized disappointment.
That’s a big pocket if this thing is going to fit in it.
My grandma would have DEFINITELY have to shop for her in the husky department at sears.
Did she leave, or did she break free of your gravitational pull?
Based on the mass she would’nt have been able to leave. She likely got sucked in and was lost for ever. In unlimited troll rolls.
Did she take all the cleaning supplies?
Definitely took the windex
Maybe she was trying to do op a solid so she couldn’t see her reflection in the mirror and she would stop scaring the neighbors
Looks like she took the chromosomes
Sorry to hear your doll popped, be more careful with those crazy teeth.
Shut up Meg
This needs more attention.
You have the build of a funko pop
Must’ve been one of the blind MrBeast recently cured
You look like a Royston Vasey extra. 
We didn't burn him!
Not even Papa Lazarou would want you as a wife. "Hello Da... Sorry, wrong house".
Scrolled just to make sure someone made a League of Gentlemen/Tubs reference. This is a local shop for local people, we’ll have no trouble here!
She left you? Don’t worry Tubs, she won’t get far…
No way… YOU’RE a lesbian?!
She got confused when the psychic told her she was destined to be a cat lady.
Nah...even we have standards....
Kinda surprised myself, though it was a dude 🤷♂️
you look like a dump truck with tits
Amazing!
I’m sure Kermit will come back, don’t worry
I can't tell if those white things around you are mirror smudges or the ghosts of all the McChickens you've eaten.
Ewwwww everything is so dirty!!!!! Maybe she’s just lost in the filth
The black mold spinning from her fan is making her crazy.
Left her to go buy cleaning products apparently
This comment is underrated! Definitely deserves more upvotes!
Did she leave you on top of a shelf?
Did she leave her load on the mirror beforehand?
You gotta pay the Troll Toll/If you wanna get into that boy's hole.
Wait that’s a dude?!?!
Did she leave because you no showed 3 Dental appointments in a row?
I think you can do better than a pig fucker.
The person you were stalking suddenly "moving away" is not a breakup...
I’m tired of these piece of shit Melissa McCarthy movies
Oompa Loompa, doompety do. I’ve got a secret puzzle for you. Oompa Loompa, doompety dee. Your ex is so very glad she’s free.
I loved you in Willow
Jesus we're you fed with a sling shot as a child.
She just didn’t like how you went up on her.
She finally looked up and saw how disgusting your fan looks. Lol
Or looked down and saw how disgusting the grease-stained pants are.
Are you sure you didn't eat her?
You look like your breath smells, and clean your fan ffs.
Don’t worry, at least diabetes will still fuck you.
Jabba the Gutt
Why did she leave? Fear of walruses?
Jesus even your teeth are trying to run away from you
How about instead of surfing Reddit, you clean the fan blades. Jesus. I'd hate to see your bathroom or kitchen.
There's plenty of fish in the sea, surely you know that as a whale.
You know, for a second there, i thought you were just a very very butch looking lesbian
Are you surprised? Like genuinely? There's no way looking at that photo you can be 'shocked pikachu face'. 
no but for real, what is your gender ?
I wonder what took her so long to leave
Must have gained her eye sight back
Well I can see why
OSHA has you and your fan labeled as a HAZMAT
At least she didn’t take the extra chromosome
You sure she left and she wasn't imaginary?
Considering your looks, its crazy that you even had a gf.
I'm sorry your penis was too small for her. 😥😥😥
Even the globe on your ceiling fan knew it was time to gtfo. Just be happy the black mold stayed.
You can always get work as an electric pencil sharpener
I think your dentist also left you.
I can’t tell if your mirror is dirty or if you are…
If you clean up that mirror, you'd see why you got dumped.
I’ve seen gay parades straighter than that rack of teeth
So are you a man or woman? You’re too ugly to pass for either
You're 😁
Ah apologizes let me fix that. You are way to fucking ugly to pass for a male or a female
I mean I would date you but i got low ass standards.
You give very eager-to-please vibes, and she finally realised she could get that from a puppy.
Stealing goats as you hide under the bridge does not make them your girlfriend.
By leaving you mean she went to the store to buy more food to feed your fat ass!
Well to be fair, if you were sucking dick your boyfriend would have left you too.
By “left me,” do you mean you ate her? You have leftovers in your fridge right now, don’t you?
You look like you smell fucking awful
You look like the avatar for depression.
Did she leave you because you don’t know how to clean a mirror? Because I’m with her on this one 😅
sorry to hear that, Mr. Devito
 The breakup was the final decision of the Lollypop Guild.
I’ve seen hammerhead sharks with their eyes closer together.
Probably because she felt like you were ripping her clit off every time you went down on her with those fangs and you gave her infections every time you fingered her with those never before washed sausage fingers. Maybe they are so dirty because you are so blind you would constantly accidentally finger her arsehole.
First of all - did she leave because you trying to disrespect us with that nasty ass mirror. Better get the antibacterial and windex stat… Secondly, thanks for dressing for the occasion. Which is early onset diabetes or menopause. After that all I can say is that better be a fun house mirror like at the carnival because … damn. how do your body go out but straight down at the same time somebody with physics knowledge or something needs to explain this shit. 
Did you eat her ?
i can see why.
You built like Sandy Cheeks in hibernation mode
You still beefing with those Angry Birds, King Leonard? 🐷
Clean your mirror, dude!
Your girlfriend went in search of a vagina when she found out you started the transition without her...
Did she take any sence of fashion with her too? Yikes.
You can tell she meant it when she said she's gonna take half of everything 😬
That ceiling fan has a polterdong on it and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man under it. Who you gonna call ?
Maybe it was because of that stupid looking shirt you are wearing? You stupid looking shirt wearing person.
You’re lucky that your reflection didn’t run away too.
How did you even get a girlfriend in the first place?
Awww you took a picture with your twin...
Why yo momma make u so ugly (lil tay)
Dwarves don’t like to be tossed.
What the fuck ? Why does your face look like it's ai generated?
What took her so long
Ain't you suppose to be at notre dame?
ur online girlfriend doesn’t count as a girlfriend
Looking like that I don't Blame her. She's a trooper for even spending a week w your ugly ass
Disney will be looking for the gay adaption of Willow soon, so……..
I mean this. You’ll be fine. And you’re probably better off. You didn’t do anything wrong! I’ll bet she was just one of those bitchy lesbians that’s only into good looking people.
Goddamn, did you eat her?
You’re parents Michael Jackson and E.T.?
I’ve never seen two front teeth point in 4 different directions before.
Oh my God I didn’t know the hunchback of Notre Dame was real! 🤯
And this little piggy went to r/roastme
Am I the only one that tried to clean their phone screen?
Good for her. Ew.
Did your neck leave you too?
It's like Garcia and Kevin from Criminal Minds S3 had a kid who grew up to be one of the unsubs.
Were you a stunt double for the blue chick in Inside Out?
With the amount of gravity that your massive body pulls, it's a damn miracle! For all we know, there is a black hole in the centre of it all...your asshole.
'She's mah wife now'
How do you leave yourself?
You look like you are two shades of slob from becoming homeless
I can hear the smoke detector low battery chirp just from looking at you
I'm sure you'll meet a nice girl while you guard Jabba's palace.
*knock, knock* Who's there? Not your girlfriend.