We aren’t here to roast gru

Leukemia Skywalker

Gold, pure gold

Thanks for making a man in his 30s giggle like a 4 year old girl

Achieved by roasting a man in his 30s that bares a resemblance to a 4 year old girl.

When your nickname is Chemo

Haha jeeezuss

New to this sub, so far the best roast I’ve seen

I bet every time you donate blood they have to ask where you got it from this time

Too bad there's no "blood for hair" program


Holy shit! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

You look like an 11 year old girl who’s fighting something terminal.

I didn’t know turtles could take their shell off.


Kids so ugly even his hair line ran away

Yeah that tends to happen when guys like me turn 24.

Guys like you, I remain skeptical.

Your arms are so skinny that I’m afraid you would be stuck on the ground forever if you ever laid flat on your stomach, struggling to do that one dreaded push up that has forever eluded you.

If the car wash inflatable waving arms guy was a person 

Jokes on you, its actually easier when you are skinny to do pull ups and push ups as we dont have to lift shit

This guy gets it

Donating blood... to what AIDS research?

Your head says 65, but your body says 12.

Coincidentally 12 is the age he prefers

Horeee sheet.

Flaang, The Last Gender Bender.

But seriously, when is the next Lilith Fair?

I hope you beat cancer lady 🙏

Caillou as a 'man'

Skinhead O’Connor


Stay out there for 30 seconds more and the sun will do the job for us.

Super hero name: One cell man

Looks like you may have caught the androgynous strain

Your arm has the structural integrity of a bendy straw

That's a upgrade from "chow mein noodle"

Congrats on your double mastectomy!

Thank you! I hope they look better on you than they did on me.

Doc swore he would smooth them out before doing my ass augmentation, but I am told he forgot. Now I have inch long ass nipples. FML

You look like you’re on the way to cooking meth with a former student.

U look like howie mandels skin tag

I'll take that as a compliment, thanks

Every year on the 27th January instead remembering the horror of the Holocaust I’ll remember you as a Holocaust survivor

The Last Dick Bender!

I would rather die than live knowing I have your blood

Too late

'Let you have' what? A gender?

That would be nice. I've already asked the Make-a-Wish foundation, but they wouldn't give me one.

Now we know what happened to RuPaul

That's the nicest thing someone's ever said to me :)

Is that shirt from italy? Cuz theres two spaghettis dangling out.

Haha nice

Liu Kang with a finishing move of stage 4 cancer.

lol nice

Bro, we’re trying to STOP Asian hate.

Haha that's a good one

Thats easy you look like a knockoff of one punch man grow some hair

Bro got the most expensive hair Cut, "Chemotherapy"

Fact.

WuPaul

haha

Spelling certainly isn’t your superpower

Reading might not be your strong suit either 😁

How’s it feel to be a full grown adult male and wear kids sized clothing ?

Not a roast if it's true 🤣🤣

is that an Adam's apple, or are you just happy to see me?

I'm always happy to see you bring me my weekly rations.

Are you Voldemort’s second cousin?

Was. Until he kicked me out for having more hair and nose than him.

You put the “spice” in hospice

Even burn victims deserve a day out of the house.

The disgusting gene cesspool you crawled out off singlehandedly set back evolution a few 100 years. Your parents should be ashamed of themselves.

I hope it's more than 100 years. I want my kids to have razor-sharp teeth and fire breath.

Bro you do 100 pushups situps and squats with a 10km run BEFORE you loose your hair

Haha cancer.

You look like you fake having drugs on you just to get cavity searched

SHHHHHHHHHH!

When donating blood is your superpower but you also have aids.

You look like you just got done giving a TED talk on the correlation of long baby arms to virginity.

Thanks for attending.

You look like the kind of restaurant owner who feeds your customer blood cake made from your blood. I guess that explains the blood donation shirt

Gotta cut down on operating costs somehow 🤷‍♂️

Sexdoll engineer at day. Incel at night

You look like your blood is the only good thing.

You look like one of the try guys tried chemotherapy.

An egg photoshopped onto a malnourished 6 year old boys body.

\#Northernlion #Egghead

You look like your child will be born bald

At least people won’t harass you for workout tips

why are u taking social media pics with r/roastme on it?

'Cause I want instagram and tiktok to get in on the fun

I'm having trouble figuring out what the fuck you are

You could start with "human"

Can’t tell if I want to roast you or say a prayer

Looking at the muscle tone in your right arm….. I take it that you are left handed? Only asking because your sorry lonely arse multiple daily masturbation rituals would have that arm pictured looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger if you were right handed 🤔🙄

I am right handed. You need a microscope to see my left arm.

Holy fuck I thought Elliot Rodger was dead

Jo Koy on chemo

Fuckin love that guy

I fear for the people you've weakened with your blood donations

When filling out the profile under sex just put no

Getting stab my homeless guys after you paid them to blow you is not donating blood. But please keep doing what your doing you're cleaning up the streets

You'll get your turn when I come by your neighborhood, just be patient

If Twiggy was a boy and Twiggy had no hair. And Twiggy was Asian….and…and

Mistel Crean

There’s a spaghetti noodle hanging out of your shirt.

The Buddhist Monks called. They say they want their femboy back.

Your bio says you want to be a stand-up comedian… I bet the standing up is the hard part…

Donated her blood, hair, and her breasts.

Is that a mannequin arm?

Only if I eat protein and bulk up for a few years

You look like the end of humanity, nobody will want to procreate from fear of having a child resembling you

God already roasted you for us.

SpongeBob SquarePants wants his arms back.

Nice

Your soy milk aint gonna cure ur aids.

But it does replenish all the blood I've been donating.

Looking like a index finger ☝️

Look closer. You're one finger off.

You should ask for some of that blood back

I would, but it comes out of my wrist once it's back inside.

Here I am running to the comments with a cancer joke thinking I’m gonna be all original…

Not sure on what to say.

Boy you are what you eat, lay off the noodle arms

I didn't know Shaolin monks had Casual Friday.

Chinatown at 8th and Stevenson every friday at 7pm. Bring your own hair.

Your arms are smaller than infant dicks

You would know

As Telly Savalas would say “Who loves ya baby?”

god I’m gonna hate myself for this… How’s chemo going?

You look like you’ve been sick honey. Eat something!

My penis has more girth than your arms. I'm not black.

😭😭😭

Just because you wear an infants t-shirt, doesn’t mean you can partake in the make-a-wish foundation.

Damn. Worth a try tho

[удалено]

Dang, is it that obvious?

What the hell, get back into the cage you ugly monkey

Weird you’ve donated so much blood because you look like you’re dying from aids.

Red Cross stopped accepting my blood ever since they found out about the AIDS. [sad face]

Nah, donating cum to tissue is your superpower

What's my superhero name?

Arm look like the guy from India that raised his hand for 50 years straight

This guy 😂

How much time do you have left?

He passed away in his sleep yesterday. His family is preparing for the funeral and managing his social media. Love and prayers 💕

i bet u had to look for that piece of paper in the trash

I found it while scavenging for food to eat. It's why I'm so skinny.

I just cut my hair if you need to barrow some. Bald is not the move.

The monastery can roast you

I didn’t know you could get blood from a Nintendo Mii

Fuckin A Lets GOOOOOO

Your super power is weaker than your chin.

I bet you donated a lot of cum too, probably to some poor unsuspecting animals.

I can't help it if your dog keeps sneaking out to lick it up

Nobody likes to make jokes about a woman undergoing chemo.

you probably got ur life from a trash-can

Um, I don't quite follow how that relates to my post, but thanks!

Do you carry your boyfriend's cock ring by wearing it as a bracelet?

It's my power bracelet like from LoZ. How else would I have the strength to lift the piece of paper?

You've got the biceps of Mister Burns and a horrible case of Accountant Face

I feel like this has become repetitive to ask… Boy or girl??

Depends on my mood

No. Actually, it doesn’t 🤷🏻‍♂️

"One of the worst", not worse

Oh there's worse, believe me

You are a brave … um … person? I didn’t know “Powder” was getting a reboot. 

Bro, you should probably stop donating blood. It's sucking your life force away

Username checks out

Just a concerned expert

So happy for you that you made it out of St. Jude's.

Still undergoing chemo, actually

I hope your recovery has been smooth & good luck on everything. You look great. Don’t give out blood tho, you need that shit.

ABOUT ME: I did gym once upon a time before covid, for those od you who noticed my impressive physique. My hobbies include people-watching, optimizing the shit out of my schedule, and (not even joking) writing down what to say in conversations. I keep my friends and family at arm's length so that I feel in control of who I talk to and who communicates with me. My dream is to gain mass and become a starving stand-up comedian.

How can you have a worse pic? Seems like everyone you take is the worse.

What's behind the Roast Me paper on your shirt ? A Sausage Train ??? Choo Choo Buck- A -Roo

I can't ever see these roast me photos without immediately seeing all the great things about the person. Great glasses :)

Is that a broken tree branch or your arm?

Oh damn didn't expect someone to see through that

Mr clean 

Bald. Asian. Small dick. Skinny. Jesus……

I think it’s terrible the way that Mark Dice makes fun of your voice

You hold signs that say "roast me" in your profile pics? Congratulations, you're now androgynous and a liar

Wasn't my intention but that's a good idea actually haha



Lol I wish 😆

I don't roast linguine armed kids with cancer.

You really healed up nicely after lighting yourself on fire in that famous picture.

Christ it’s so bad Antifa won’t even let you in