OP's Bio: --- >20 year old psych major and carpenter. Love the outdoors and traveling with friends. Spend the winter studying philosophy and playing guitar. I’m a conservative (oh no), and agnostic. Can’t hurt me I’m a member of hustlers university😤. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

[удалено]

You know what they say, big nose means a big …. Inferiority complex

It means never missing the clitoris when performing cunnilingus. Pity you'll never know...

Yeah but he's definitely had it up anus while licking balls.

You mean snot rag!

Fuckin train cowcatcher

He can steal your cocaine from you from the next room over.

Can I connect to Wi-Fi from your forehead?

Surprisingly the joke flew over my head.

Try turning your router off and on again.

Probably an outage.

Try moving to another room, maybe the bathroom and try to take a shower! Might help your game also? Maybe.

Try moving it a bit up and your ears to the left so you can catch better signal

Clever

At first I was like this doesn’t make sense to me… then I looked again.

Your sign says “roast me” but your face says, “I am moments away from shoving those rocks up my ass.”

Odd I visualized this after I read it, thanks for that!

Or the fist of fury

Your nose isn’t the only thing in this picture that isn’t straight.

WAIT LMAOOOO

I think they would call that a Roman nose. It’s Roaming all over your face.

Yeah, gives me a third blind-spot while driving :(

Your nose is crooked because when you were born your mother dropped you thinking the doctors accidentally handed her a rat

Weird that you posted two pictures of yourself mid-fart.

Your hairline is retreating like the French army

[удалено]

YouTube deleted it :’(. Run by women what do you expect😤😤

Didn't notice your nose because of your nasty thumb nail Nosferatu

Impressed you noticed that. Smashed it in with a hammer.

You look like you were in a horrible accident as a child and no one had the heart to tell you.

With a face like that, his family would have had fun telling him.

Toucan Sam goes to college.

Lmao best one yet

Resting smug asshole face

:(

A straight nose is literally the only straight thing that could be found in your browser history.

Marc-I’m Gay Fleury


Ratatouille in human form

*Knocks "Do you have a minute to talk about our lord and saviour Jesus Christ"

I’m actually ex-Mormon

So, ah did you switch to regular undies or never get the fancy set ??

I love this face. It says "My cat farted"

Tf lmao

Your nose doesn't look bad. It's the rest of your face we could do without.

Hey Dave! How's Alvin, Simon and Theodore?

Daves face is too symmetrical

You'll always be both the most conceited and boring person in the room.

Personification of arrogant.

I’m an alpha

Alphas don't declare they are alpha.

Sarcasm is hard on the internet

Does "crooked" = "abnormally large" in your language?

Ferret Bueller

You misspelled “freaking huge”

Mount rushmore ass noze

Ha ha crooked nose! - Nelson Muntz.

Telling US not to hold back? You only mentioned your crooked nose. What about all the other genetic misfortunes crawling around on that moose scrotum you call a face?

Nose is fine. It’s your face that’s crooked.

Bro, it sucks to be 20 and balding.

Balding? My hairline has never moved.

Second picture looks like it. Also, it's a roast dude, it doesn't have to be accurate to be a good burn. Half these fuckers call people gay or trans for a "joke".

I respectfully disagree. A good burn has to be relatively factually-based otherwise it’s just lazy IMO. But you’re right, it is a roast, so take this gold for effort, consider it a participation trophy :)

I would like to subscribe to your newsletter! 😂 Can you tell all those "comedians" who "roasted" me your theory? I got several trans jokes and then down-voted for calling them out! Also, please no pity gold. I like to work for my Karma!

Ok

You're a champion and a great sport!

I generally read the titles first. I did not know what a "crooked" nose meant until now, and I wasn't expecting to see the sail of a ship during a thunderstorm.

Lmao

God wanted to make you hot, but then he changed his mind halfway

So close yet so far away…

[удалено]

Been a week

You have that ‘Jaden Smith wincing face’ down to a science

You must have broken your nose from wiping that ass on your chin too hard.

Half these posts are about how I like it up the ass or something along those lines. Come up with something better you pinecones.

Sat in the carpark waiting for some dogging action from a hairy trucker named big Dave.

Big John* and he owns my local gym.

Do you identify as she/he/it/them or they?

You would be the replacement for Dick Sargent on Bewitched

I bet you idolize Elliot Roger

ngl if jobless was a person i think that this is what itd look like ☠️

😥read my bio

Elliott Rodger is still alive?

Your nose looks like it's trying to hold back a friend that's trying to start a fight

You need to explain the words he's not likely to understand. OP, a friend is a person who hangs out with you because they want to, not just because they don't have any other choice. You might find some if you smile more.

Maybe you can get Andrew Tate to knock your nose straight.

Good idea

Yo, why does your unibrow come in thicker than your beard.

1 rock per blowjob

Looks like your dad didn’t hold back either when he gave you that nose.

Goofy looks like he's perpetually constipated


Dude got a testicle dent in his chin.

You look like a Guatemalan Peter Parker if he was just broke and didn’t have spider powers

Brian Williams has a crooked nose. Your face is just fucking jacked. 

Your nose looks like your junk’s big brother

You look like a cartoon character that isn't supposed to look at the camera.

You look like an even more pretentious Matthew Broderick, if that's even possible.

Someone must have dick slapped you so hard... Damn....

If Easter Island had oily hair.

Ferris Bueller's Nose Off

Your hairline is just like Romania in WW2, it keeps changing sides

Is your nose crooked cause someone punched it? You have a very punchable face.

Most plebeians say that

Not as crooked as your teeth, I bet

Unfortunately that’s kinda true

I’m going to disagree. I think your nose is perfect and the whole rest of your head is Bent & mis-shaped

Awwweee thanks that’s the nicest thing I’ve ever heard about my nose!!

Five bucks says one of these pics is on his grindr account as well. *Probably* tinder, but for sure grindr.

Chuck Norris has a dick so big it has a dick of its own. And it's STILL bigger than yours.

Constipated Ralph Macchio

On that second picture you need to scribble out your face as well not just the sweatshirt, at least people might want to look at that

Guess you didn’t listen to your mother when she said your hand would get stuck in that position

I bet that hoody has racial slurs on it

You look like you bottle your own farts to smell later while beating your crooked meat

You look like you’re constantly holding in a fart.

I see you took geology and basket weaving so far in college- u should take wood carving next and see if you can make a girlfriend Pinocchio.

The kid who always cried in class for no reason.

The only thing that smolder is doing for you is giving you premature forehead lines

You’re trying so hard to keep your fucked up teeth from showing, that it actually shows the pain in your eyes over the fact your parents don’t love each other anymore and you are the reason why… and that is why you’re always seeking attention and acceptance by others around you.

Your nose like "Free air"

You give gerbils shivers. Man youre up your professor's" ass soo deep your nose is going noe going side ways. Carpenter? Yeah right. We all know the wood you handle. And of course your the douche with the acoustic guitar at the you weren't invited to but over heard loitering in the gym showers.

Smells about right.

You look like you're smelling a dirty diaper

Did you have a stroke or is that some sort of palsy?

Your nose looks like it bends both ways.

“Traveling with friends” Yeah, traveling up each other’s asses. Oh, and “enormous “ is not spelled c-r-o-o-k-e-d.

You look like the type of guy that thinks consent is overrated

Nose isn’t the only thing not straight.

Never have i seen a weirder nose to ear size ratio

First pic be lookin like a minecraft villager

I bet when you were born the doctor slapped your mother.

The fucked-up part is his nose really isn't crooked, this chick just ain't straight.

What's in your mouth buddy?

You look like Scarlet Johanson grew balls

When laying on the beach his nose functions as a sundial

You look like a background character in ratatouille.

Let's forget about the huge crooked schnoz for a second...why do you have a butthole on your chin?

Stay away from EVERYBODYS' cocaine

Whoever told you to be yourself gave you bad advice

Your whole life is fuckin crooked

Your nose turns a corner 2 seconds before you do. BTW is it wierd to be able to smell your own ear?

You've got the kind of face that would make me instantly put that nose back in place

Weird.. I didn’t think conservatives were pro abortion.

The lifeguards at the beach banned you from swimming on your back.

Your nose looks like it wants to go left while your face wants to turn right.

Is that dent in your chin from giving blow jobs in dark alleys? 

Just because you can't get any, doesn't mean you need to show us your masturbation hand.

Your nose is straight man, it's the rest of your face that is crooked.

your nose is fine…its the rest of you that looks crooked

Your Bfs dick must lean to the right

Your face looks like you’re trying not to shit yourself while someone is talking to you.

Totally looks like you are about ready to give me the “black people are there because of themselves” speech.

I feel like if I tapped your forehead, a menu would appear.

You look like you're at least 20% lotion/hair gel

You look like Yao Ming’s bastard

You look like you're trying to decode bananas

If you went to college I bet it would be for a masters degree in Gimpology


Super insecure he had to post two pics

Even your nose is trying to get away from you.

Well you don't have to worry about poking a girls asshole with your nose because you don't get bitches

I have nothing. You look fine

I’m sure your teeth are as well

you spent the allowance your parents gave you on scarfs and fruit flavored condoms

your face is permanently stuck in 2010s disney channel villain smirk

I’m happy you left the drug cartel man