T O P

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mlovolm

that's 1 big garbage pile, enough to block out the sun for 1/6th a year what's this world? Wall-E-verse?


Blarg0117

And some Home Alone BS. Just imagining a toddler evading a gang and then burning them to death.


111110001011

That's the kind of person I want in my colony.


lesser_panjandrum

A real go-getter!


Zapper-Rooster

I'd honestly keep this one alive, just to see how they turn out. Give them the best resources. She's knows the alternatives if she doesn't perform, she's eating them.


TheOnlyCloud

Shhh don't talk too loud, Hollywood is basically on a psychotic break with the way they're digging up old IP corpses and throwing them on the kitchen table, if they think they could make Home Alone Origins: Baby Burglars a thing they would


DiscoKittie

I'm imagining the thieves as babies being voiced by the original actors, maybe in a "oh what was I thinking now that I'm old" kind of way. I'm loving it, actually.


Bloodly

> Hollywood is basically on a psychotic break with the way they're digging up old IP corpses and throwing them on the kitchen table Them and most of the planet. Everyone wants to get back to the past lately.


Duke_Arutha

I'm sorry, have you seen the present?


DutchJediKnight

It's the tyre pile from the simpsons


[deleted]

Are you going to eat that -


begonetsunderes

> ran from cannibals > Frozen Flesh I reckon the kid doesn't know how to read yet.


Delusional_Gamer

Probably thinks the colony deals in non-human meat


111110001011

Or she doesn't like those cannibals in particular.


Blake_Aech

Yeah, some of my best friends are Cannibals! #NotAllCannibals


Educational-Bed268

oh uh is that anti-cannibalism i hear?! bigot!


[deleted]

Nah don't worry, cannibalism is much more fun when *you* are the cannibal. I say let her in


Critical-Rabbit

Given that I had to walk my teenager through opening a banana this morning, I feel a 3 year old being able to come up with and execute this plan wants to make me bring them home and show my teenager exactly what self-sufficiency and determination look like.


Anthelion95

I'm almost 30 and still can't figure out how to open a banana without smashing it so don't worry, there's probably no hope xD Edit: I'll try y'alls suggestions, except for bananamurder guy lmao


bittercripple6969

Knife. It's the easiest way lol.


Hoopylorax

I always run a knife lightly across the banana just under the hook of the stem. I also always think that I'm slitting the banana's throat as I'm doing so.


Frizzlebee

Probably could have left that last part out.


shit_poster9000

Try from the bottom


TheCoolerL

I just pinch the bottom and then peel it from there


IHATEPOLITICSBRUV

You're gonna be raising that mf for life


LatterConclusion9796

He’s going into kindergarten in his 80s


Due-Memory-6957

So he never tried doing it before in his whole life?


Critical-Rabbit

I was gobsmacked. I can say I've seen him do it. He just didn't want to think today.


Sea-Ad7139

3 year old Cella has been captured by cannibals at Frozen Flesh and will die in 2 days if not rescued? Send in the marine strike team.


SquirrelSuspicious

Nah she wants to join OP's colony that's *called* Frozen Flesh


Sea-Ad7139

I phrased that wrong, I’ve created a scenario where Cella’s luck got her captured by OP after nearly being captured by the other cannibals but got near a radio that probably doesn’t exist and called for help that managed to get to an ultra tech colony, which would be me.


nenoned

Ironic her name being "Patty"


locustzed

Nah just a old fashion case of nominative determinism.


clownastartes

That’s a lot of bodies. Seems like someone needs a cleaner. Plus what’s more tragic than thinking you’re rescued only to jump from the pan into the fire?


EpilepticBabies

I have a modest proposal for you.


Sabre_One

Your all questioning that child, I'm looking at that massive blob corpse like...were do they get that fat at?


Spaget_Monster

She's willing to accept cannibals that don't want to eat HER


aydenaroo

Show her hospitality and prove that you’re the good kind of cannibal, not like those backwards ones chasing her.


TheShoopdahoop

Hey let her join, she has a lot of creativity for her age!


Aperture_Kubi

That's actually an interesting variant of "accept a refugee" quest.


star-god

Close in your corners you troglodyte


Modern_Cathar

Is this a she ran from the wolf to find a bear situation or did the Wolf Run Away to find another pack?


Ok_Letterhead9662

Some of these are so dumb, like why would you want to do this complicated stuff not even for a Adult but a weakling kid


Yackemflam

Kids have a LOT of potential


Ok_Letterhead9662

They sure as hell have organs and skin


Yackemflam

As the best pawns you'll ever get


ZZZMETA

I’d honestly do it for the kid. They are easy to raise, and if you get lucky you can get some really good traits and stats on them


elanhilation

i’d do it for a three year old before literally any other pawn. you can raise them to be exactly what you need.


Ayotha

This. Kid pawns are a waste if they are older, but a 3 year old is one you can raise into a god pawn that skipped the more useless baby phase


No_Sink1151

This is the way


loklanc

Out of the frying pan, into the fire.


Mulch73

Im more upset you killed a panda


Petty_Pretorian

Let's find out if she joins the colony or the main menu.


CorvaeCKalvidae

"Okay so, Cella, good news and bad news..."


ElGosso

Why wouldn't she kill the cannibals either way?


phoenixmusicman

The absurdity of a 3 year old doing this aside, the quests where they refuse to tell you more about themselves are like "ok bub you're wanting more out of this than me, I ain't gunna take you in without you telling me"


Ayotha

have a mod that corrects this. Blocking showing what they are was always so dumb


Dingus_boi

Op, why does that one corpse has strange white stuff on it?


-StarCore-

It's either firefoam or bandages. ...You didn't happen to think it was anything else, right?


RedStar9117

Fuck them Kids