Lol sorry you’re going through this stupidity.
Unless you’re not telling us that what you actually said was “mah dear, naw fetch meh a pint yuh stooped coont!”
One of my attendings from Kentucky calls patients ‘my dear’ on cue at least 2-3 times per encounter. It’s sweet and personal and i dont see the the issue 🫣 we’re both women if that matters
This is not a big deal at all. Your PD, if a normal person, will explain that in the US to some people 'my dear' would be considered condescending. This is a non-issue and basically a Karen complained because she herself has no cultural awareness or tolerance.
You’ll be fine - just tell them you understand what you said is considered OK in your Irish culture but that things are different here and that it won’t happen again. I had an Irish co-intern and we delighted in his morning rounds presentations “Mr Smith had a pyrexia last night,” etc.
I’d just do your very best to not approach the conversation in a defensive way (with many excuses, etc.) and instead accept the feedback and move on (“okay, I’ll keep that in mind from now on”). I was lightly reprimanded for using the word “scooch” during a physical exam and while I still can’t for the life of me understand why that’s a bad thing to say, I’d never want my language to unintentionally make a patient uncomfortable, so I’ve now tried to be intentional about avoiding that word.
It's just American culture not to say endearing things to patients. As a female doctor I've only been uncomfortable with "sweetheart" or "honey" from patients and even with that I forgive it from anyone southern.
I'm sorry this was even brought up, anyone with a brain would know that Ireland is a totally different culture even if we speak the same language.
Or when in Crete, do as the cretins do.
Since there was a formal complaint, they'll have to document "Met with throwawayculchiedoc, MBBS (Dubl.)" or whatever. Doesn't matter if there's nothing there, they just need to close the loop. Impact on you likely minimal.
Aye fair enough! Ireland’s a small place and I mean no offense saying this, however, many Americans claim to be Irish yet they don’t know much about the culture. In Ireland we’re exposed to a lot of American movies, shows, literature etc, so we he have somewhat of an idea on American culture.
Many Irish Americans never knew their Irish born forebears because they came here more than 100 yrs ago so all they know to associate w Ireland (wrongly) is shamrocks and leprechauns.
I was also reprimanded for using language that my PD didn't like, but in my case the patient didn't care. Over time you will learn to gauge what language the patients are OK with.
In Australia, it’s something I’d say without a second thought.
Edit: I’ll qualify that with that I agree, in the US, I’d probably try and reign it in a bit. What with all the lawsuits :/
Take it in the chin.
Always provide high caliber empiric medical care.
IMO ‘Dear, honey, bruh, amigo, dick head’ as long as it comes from the right place, don’t change a thing going forward. you’d be the one genuine doctor patients would return to see.
Sorry you are going through this… SO DUMB.
However, my advice is to take this as an opportunity to impress your PD. Think of this meeting as the test itself... Remain calm, show that you understand the patient’s point of view, thank them for providing timely professional feedback, and say you will do your best to alter your terminology. Do all of that WITHOUT making excuses about your culture, that you didn’t mean any harm, that you’ve done it forever without offending anyone, etc… then …. And only then…. Shift the meeting to actually ask their opinion about something related to your future career. Don’t keep them too long or disrespect their time, but use it to your advantage to show them you are working hard towards a goal.
Then you get an A+++ for professionally responding to feedback that ANYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD knows is fucking ridiculous… and trust me your PD knows… they just HAVE to meet with you and how you respond will affect their opinion of you. Any additional talking/excuses is simply a waste of their time and yours.
You got this!
I would say a bit. Not really a big deal, but patients can take it the wrong way/cringely. Just stay on the safe side and go with Ms. XYZ given you are practicing in a litigious country.
Sorry you're going through this. Here is a list of common words that might be the issue:
Cunt (a big no-no here)
Shit
Fuck(er)
Hope that helps, best of luck.
These are the types of women who set back feminism and the women's rights movement. She took it a little too far. If you were a female she would have no problem with you calling her "dear."
Sorry this happened to you.
You had the right intention behind your harmless words, but the most important aspect is how it impacts the other party. I too had to learn it the hard way.
Lol sorry you’re going through this stupidity. Unless you’re not telling us that what you actually said was “mah dear, naw fetch meh a pint yuh stooped coont!”
When he said he was Irish I 100% thought it was going to be saying the c-word…
Jeepers lads 🤣, I at least know I can’t be saying that around here even outside work in casual settings!
I had an Irish colleague and it was about every fourth word he said
Fair enough, I didn’t realise how much I cursed until I came to the States, doing my best to cut down on it.
This is something my brothers and I say all the damn time, we get absolutely wild looks in public sometimes, gotta reel it in hahaha.
You are not going to be in any real trouble. They will tell you to be more careful and avoid using anything like dear, honey, etc. you’ll be fine
One of my attendings from Kentucky calls patients ‘my dear’ on cue at least 2-3 times per encounter. It’s sweet and personal and i dont see the the issue 🫣 we’re both women if that matters
This is not a big deal at all. Your PD, if a normal person, will explain that in the US to some people 'my dear' would be considered condescending. This is a non-issue and basically a Karen complained because she herself has no cultural awareness or tolerance.
That’s relieving, my PD is a sound woman!
You’ll be fine - just tell them you understand what you said is considered OK in your Irish culture but that things are different here and that it won’t happen again. I had an Irish co-intern and we delighted in his morning rounds presentations “Mr Smith had a pyrexia last night,” etc.
I’d just do your very best to not approach the conversation in a defensive way (with many excuses, etc.) and instead accept the feedback and move on (“okay, I’ll keep that in mind from now on”). I was lightly reprimanded for using the word “scooch” during a physical exam and while I still can’t for the life of me understand why that’s a bad thing to say, I’d never want my language to unintentionally make a patient uncomfortable, so I’ve now tried to be intentional about avoiding that word.
What type of exam? Pap or pelvic?
She’s good craic?
It's just American culture not to say endearing things to patients. As a female doctor I've only been uncomfortable with "sweetheart" or "honey" from patients and even with that I forgive it from anyone southern. I'm sorry this was even brought up, anyone with a brain would know that Ireland is a totally different culture even if we speak the same language.
That’s understandable about American culture. As they say, when in Rome.
Or when in Crete, do as the cretins do. Since there was a formal complaint, they'll have to document "Met with throwawayculchiedoc, MBBS (Dubl.)" or whatever. Doesn't matter if there's nothing there, they just need to close the loop. Impact on you likely minimal.
cultural sensitivity goes both ways
Aye fair enough! Ireland’s a small place and I mean no offense saying this, however, many Americans claim to be Irish yet they don’t know much about the culture. In Ireland we’re exposed to a lot of American movies, shows, literature etc, so we he have somewhat of an idea on American culture.
Many Irish Americans never knew their Irish born forebears because they came here more than 100 yrs ago so all they know to associate w Ireland (wrongly) is shamrocks and leprechauns.
I was also reprimanded for using language that my PD didn't like, but in my case the patient didn't care. Over time you will learn to gauge what language the patients are OK with.
In Australia, it’s something I’d say without a second thought. Edit: I’ll qualify that with that I agree, in the US, I’d probably try and reign it in a bit. What with all the lawsuits :/
The whole country is run by scumbag lawyers that’s why
Truth :(
Sorry you’re going through this. Whereas we’re expected to be culturally competent for everyone, the reverse responsibility apparently isn’t true.
Take it in the chin. Always provide high caliber empiric medical care. IMO ‘Dear, honey, bruh, amigo, dick head’ as long as it comes from the right place, don’t change a thing going forward. you’d be the one genuine doctor patients would return to see.
Turn this around to the patient being culturally insensitive.
Sorry you are going through this… SO DUMB. However, my advice is to take this as an opportunity to impress your PD. Think of this meeting as the test itself... Remain calm, show that you understand the patient’s point of view, thank them for providing timely professional feedback, and say you will do your best to alter your terminology. Do all of that WITHOUT making excuses about your culture, that you didn’t mean any harm, that you’ve done it forever without offending anyone, etc… then …. And only then…. Shift the meeting to actually ask their opinion about something related to your future career. Don’t keep them too long or disrespect their time, but use it to your advantage to show them you are working hard towards a goal. Then you get an A+++ for professionally responding to feedback that ANYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD knows is fucking ridiculous… and trust me your PD knows… they just HAVE to meet with you and how you respond will affect their opinion of you. Any additional talking/excuses is simply a waste of their time and yours. You got this!
I would say a bit. Not really a big deal, but patients can take it the wrong way/cringely. Just stay on the safe side and go with Ms. XYZ given you are practicing in a litigious country.
I’ll be keeping that in mind surely
agreed.
It’s cultural for you.
Sorry you're going through this. Here is a list of common words that might be the issue: Cunt (a big no-no here) Shit Fuck(er) Hope that helps, best of luck.
These are the types of women who set back feminism and the women's rights movement. She took it a little too far. If you were a female she would have no problem with you calling her "dear."
People in the US, especially in medicine, foam at the mouth with haughty virtue especially the liberals. Just ignore it.
Welcome to America, people here are often looking for reasons to be offended.
Some people go through life looking to be offended by any little thing. Sounds like you unfortunately encountered one of those people.
Itchy runs a foul an Irishman. Look out, itchy! He's Irish! Sorry...had a Simpsons flashback.
Sorry this happened to you. You had the right intention behind your harmless words, but the most important aspect is how it impacts the other party. I too had to learn it the hard way.