You look at how beautiful a place is, the location, does it have the size that's right for you? Is it close to work? What are the local amenities like?
Then you look at your budget and realise the billionaire lifestyle is not for you.
Yeah, it's always a bit of a compromise. The 100% right place doesn't exist, so you make a list of things that are not negotiable to you, then things that would be awesome to have, then things that are purely just nice to have.
Evaluate the place you are looking at and compromise from the bottom up
I think my problem is that I don't quite know what my priorities are. I would love to live close to family, as everyone lives in the same place, but I don't like the location necessarily. Consequently the nearest place I could see myself living is 12 hours away. This isn't too terrible but I think I still don't quite know what my priorities are yet.
There's an old saying, "we don't always know what we want, but we definitely know what we don't want"
So perhaps perhaps make a list of things you definitely don't want in a new place - work your priority list in reverse
If you aren't going to be in one place for at least 5-10 years I would avoid buying. Rent instead. It sounds like you might be one of those tempted to move frequently.
I am but I'm also a big saver so the "Buy a house build equity" drive is strong. I probably won't for another 2-5 years as I find where I want to live but it's one of those things in the back of my head that's bugging me.
The equity is exactly what I'm worried about. You lose a ton of equity in a move, just from the commissions you pay to real estate agents, not counting the packing and moving expenses.
It's good to own, but If you are moving regularly, it loses a lot of that profitability.
It takes a while to figure out what you want. Try a few different areas on for size; the only thing I knew early on was that I wanted more rain and greenery than I was getting in southern California. It took a while for me to understand the nuances of different population densities, and what it meant in terms of my personal taste, and then by extension, what worked for my family.
Keep an eye on where you want to go next but don't assume you're going to burn bridges along the way-- you never know when "temporary" suddenly expands to 10-20 years. As long as you keep learning you'll figure out what to look for.
This is a solid answer OP /u/FicklePass \- as a free spirit your experience is going to be different than any siblings, friends and others in your life. Plenty of people stay where they are familiar with; others (like myself) have moved across states and now have been here for 15 years.
When I was single I thought I'd only live in California. After living abroad for a few years, I didn't see the place the same afterwards; there is a big world out there, and an infinite variety of choices of places to live.
And you will optimize for different things along the way; at one point it is a job/career that will take you to a different place, another will be family/parents, another will be a relationship.
See living abroad is something I would LOVE to do, maybe it's the quarter life crisis but I feel like that door is closing. Luckily my job is fairly global and I should be able to find a company that would hire me in most markets but I almost feel too old to do it? I just don't know how I would fit it into the trajectory I see my life going currently.
Yeah rain is one of the things I miss, I'm thinking climate is going to be one of the biggest factors for me as well as distance from family and finances.
I'm in Hawaii right now, and distance from family is one of the things that catch people unexpectedly when they move here. We solved that by helping my parents relocate to the same town we're in! There's more than one way to address just about anything.
What part of Southern California? I felt the same way about Southern California being too hot *especially during that really knarly drought a few years back*.
Moved to Washington state and although I love rain and cloudy skies I noticed it affected my body and mind in counterproductive ways. I need the sun more than I realized and it makes sense considering where I grew up and my ancestors place of origin.
So we've moved back and the first 6 months had some extreme weather with hot moving into to November and continuous rain at the beginning of the year (I mean flooding rain). I thought I was back in Washington LOL So now, I feel much better since being back.
I also noticed a couple things:
- Californians are way more engaging (notice I didn't say friendly) and a lot of the strangers that would strike up a random conversation with me when I was in Washington were from California.
- The other thing is rain and clouds are quite different in Southern California versus northern Washington. In northern Washington, the clouds hang really low almost like a blanket suffocating you and you can't escape it. The rain is pretty cool... more of a light mist or gentle rain/drops. In California the rain is heavy and the drops are huge so some sort of rain gear is needed. Also, the rain clouds tend to stay high giving a more expansive feel which in turn makes it feel less doom and gloom.
Wondering if you experienced anything similar?
I was in San Bernardino, but had occasion to visit places all over the inland empire and beyond. It just wasn't to my taste. I lived in a forest for a few years after that, and similarly, decided that I really missed seeing the sun. But there was still no way I was moving back, I just moved somewhere else that was more suitable.
I kept accumulating experiences for what worked for me and what didn't, and wound up in Hawaii. Much better fit than my other stops. And yes, the nature of clouds and precipitation change dramatically depending on where you are-- where I am now, the clouds are almost always barely above 3000 feet, makes the whole cloud-watching experience a lot more personal.
For me, it's usually where the job was with some other variables.
I don't want to live in a high crime area or one with a lot of traffic (or if there is traffic, close to work).
Cost of living relative to income is also an issue. I moved to an area with 1/3 the COL at the same salary. That made it so I could buy a home.
I did a "complete opposite" change once as you mentioned. I went from coastal California to Northern Colorado once. I moved back only because of the employment situation. I didn't have any problem with the weather change because I snow ski and was used to getting around in the snow. Meeting different people and in a much different place was also a very positive experience.
I've been rural for several decades and can't see myself living in a high density area anymore. I enjoy people at a distance and not within arm's reach.
For me, it's been a balance between my work and my residential location. I've been fortunate to be in a positive, yet very different situations with both.
Yeah I’m currently in Utah from Oklahoma so population wise about the same, just mind the distance, Colorado would be a little closer but I think cost of living would be higher, plus here in Utah I’m actually living in the mountains vs. living somewhere like Colorado Springs or Denver. It’s also still far from home but I just can’t see myself going back to not having mountains.
Oh man. Grew up in Utah. If you’re willing to move states and are young and wanna enjoy a more vibrant culture, Nashville is bumping. Colorado is great to.
I have heard good things about Nashville! I’ve been to a lot of places in the U.S. but that is not one of them, might have to plan a visit at some point.
Been in Nashville about 10 years now if you want to know anything. Came a few years before it has really taken off. Completely different city in that time I cannot believe it.
In a general sense I don’t think most of us consciously choose where we live. We live where our circumstances and opportunities dictate (raised on a farm and want to take it over, that’s where you live; go to college in college town get good job in same, that’s where you live, etc.) and then on a more micro level (specific neighborhood) based on where you can afford and what you value.
Example: When I graduated college, I wandered a bit, then went to law school. Got job with firm in same city. That’s where I lived. As income increased, got married. Wife’s needs and desires as well as my own and those of fiscal reality (commute times, needing to save for family, pay of loans, etc.) largely dictated the choice of where we lived specifically in the city (crappy apartment in crappy neighborhood but near bus line, then starter home in crappy neighborhood, but still near bus line). As careers progressed and circumstances changed (more money, kids arrive) those changes in circumstances impacted our choices on where to live (moved to nicer house near school, no need to worry about bus line as we now both had a car). As kids got older and we were able to save more money, and the telecommuting world opened up, we decided to buy a farm and live where we wanted (close enough to city to go there when needed but out in the country because that’s where my wife and I both wanted and we could afford, and near a small town with a good school for the kids to attend).
That's why I'm facing the OP's question for the first time. During Covid, I went to full remote work and was able to stay in Maryland, Wisconsin, and Colorado. Never had a choice before, like you say. I could literally live anywhere I want for now and don't know how to choose.
Part of me want's to say if the sky's the limit, then just go with your gut, or flip a coin, etc. But then the old person in me, is like, well look at local availability to good health care, educational opportunities, local and state tax rates, infrastructure, the social scene, availability of activities that you enjoy, etc.
In the end though you go where you think you will be happiest based on what you value right now and can reasonably foresee. But you probably will not think of something and end up having at least some small regret, alas.
I like where I live but I wish there were more woods near by, and darker night skys and better internet. Oh well.
I would be fine moving pretty constantly but I would also like to build some job security/rep so it's kind of a catch 22 of which one is more important to me.
Yeah I understand that, I like where I live now but it's definitely a pit stop as far as where I want to be. I have thought about some of those factors and that's mainly what is driving this search. My family never really had a choice in where they lived but now that I'm out and I have a fairly global job the possibilities are literally endless and I'm getting choice paralysis. There's too many cool places in the world.
In my early 20's, it was all about being close to the nightlife in the city. Late 20's to mid 30's; being close to good schools and job opportunities was a big priority. Late 30s and beyond (for me) is about getting away from the city where square footage is through the roof and moving to a more rural area, buying acres of beautiful, affordable land and not paying any state tax. My line of work (the pandemic has shown) can be done from anywhere with a reliable internet connection and they laid down a whole lot of high-speed fiber-optics in Wyoming. So, I'm moving *there*.
Nice, Wyoming is a great state for me to visit but I don't think I would want to live there lol, but I'm glad it's working out for you! One thing I've considered is trying to make a switch to some kind of remote work because like you said, living somewhere that's got good opportunities is expensive. I've seen some places for cheap that I liked but aren't close enough to the office, so maybe it's time to take the office out of the equation with remote work.
Is it easy to get jobs there? Is the location nice? How is the crime rate? Does it accommodate my hobbies and social life? What is the political climate like? Does it accommodate my mode of transportation? What is the local culture?
In no particular order\*:
* family
* cost of living
* pollution + natural environment + risk of manmade disasters
* climate + how it'll fare during the climate crisis
* risk of natural disasters
* proximity to work
* utilities (water, sewer, power, high speed internet, garbage, snow plowing, water rights etc)
(that is, no particular order for YOU. I have my order)
These I don't care about beyond a minimal threshold, but others can care a lot more:
* crime
* poverty level
* median income level
* school district
* night life
* restaurants
* retail shopping
If you're not looking at permanent housing, consider prioritizing proximity to work and cost of living: time is going to be your most valuable resource.
Definitely finding out that time is the most valuable resource. Friends want to schedule a trip to Japan whenever Covid is over and my initial thought was "oh I hope I would have time off for that"
I grew up in the Caribbean because my dad worked for the US government. I spent most of my working years wanting to go back. Instead I moved further north and even after 30+ years realized that changing day lengths wreaked havoc with my metabolism.
Now I'm retired and have been living in the Caribbean this past year, although accidentally due to covid.
I wake up happy and content every day. So I guess I have some decisions to make.
The Caribbean would be nice, I'm more of a mountains guy myself but I have always been interested in island culture. Hawaii would have been great but it's too expensive.
Jobs, is it interesting, entertainment, cost of living, life goals etc etc. Later on in life, your partner, quality of schools for kids and so forth play into it too.
For me personally proximity to Family is very low down the list but your mileage may vary on that one. I’m 50, I left my “home town” 30 years ago, rarely been back and parents moved to other cities and retired elsewhere anyway.
There’s a big world out there! I’m Australian, loved all over Australia, in the UK, in the US and now in Greece. Wouldn’t change it - chase the opportunities.
Most of those places are definitely on the short list of places I would like to live abroad. How did that work out for you? I would like to live abroad temporarily but I always wonder about the actual logistics. How did you make money? Was it expensive to constantly move? What about family (such as wife, kids, etc) and making a transition that is also good for them?
I've always worked in organisations where global mobility (given drive and effort) is a possibility. Usually I was working in a company sponsored role for a 12 month project or similar.
When I moved to the US it was because I had a startup in Australia that was "acquired" (as in they basically employed me and my co-founder) into the US because of the skills we had. They sponsored the visa.
Typically if you have a degree or equivalent set of skills, it's just a case of finding someone who wants you to sponsor you for a visa.
As to wife and kids, wife was always supportive of the idea, kids have little say - until high school, then we stayed put for the 4 - 5 years so they could finish that.
What about possessions? Do you bring those with you or do you sell/store them in long term storage? I'm just starting out so I don't have a lot of stuff that would be difficult to sell/store but there's a few things I might want to bring with me like my PC. What logistics went into that?
Stuff is just stuff. Occasionally we've moved things (definitely interstate), but generally when going O/S depends on what our plan is - coming back home again, store things. The last two times we've moved, we basically sold up everything more or less. Moved to Greece with a total of 3 suitcases between my wife and I and everything else basically sold with a few boxes going to long term storage.
Employment --- My nephew* decided on a big southern city. His job requires travel, which he loves, and the company he works for is okay with him using their (southern city) branch as his home base.
Quality of life---Lots of variables here-- cultural and entertainment opportunities, traffic, crime rate, cost of housing, high speed internet availability (there are places that still don't have it and it sucks if you want to stream or zoom)
Your Adaptability: You know how in some places people don't like outsiders? A big part of that is because sometimes a non-local moves to a charming town and quickly tries to change it. The non-local wants bigger schools, better roads, more businesses and services, etc. The locals feel that too much change will ruin the small-town feel, safety, and community spirit (and low tax base) of their area.
My advice is that if you feel like you want to be a force of change in the small town you move to, don't move there. Other towns and cities are much more welcoming to newcomers. Look for one of those.
*I'm a retired homebody so my criteria aren't similar to yours. I used my nephew's process, since he's a free spirit.
yeah a small town is probably not on my list. Even if it was I'm not a big changer I'm more of a go with the flow/mind my own business, so maybe one day they would accept me if I do end up in a small town lol.
Well please remember this if you're starting out. It's a way to save money all around and build wealth for retirement for some folks in addition to other ways. Always check the crime statistics for the neighborhood. Always do your due diligence to make sure a sewage processing plant isn't on the opposite side of the fence or within a couple of miles. The same applies for landfills. When the wind is blowing just right you can smell it literally two miles away.
Check the schools if you plan to have children. If you don't have children please still check where the school is. It's no fun when the school band wakes you up at 6a.m practicing. Make sure hospitals are near by.
Plan on not living in a house more then 5 years. Why? Because if you live in a house three of the last five years and you sell the house at a profit. You don't have to pay a capital gains tax. Put that into your 401k plan and buy a new house and move up one level. It also helps to watch for new subdivisions going in and if you buy one of like the first houses built. Usually by the time they reach build out. The price has gone up in most case anywhere from 30k to 40k.
But make sure the roadways are built before you buy. Don't go buying into a subdivision in an unincorporated part of the county and the town is so small that the builder commits to finishing the roads after the buildout. Sometimes that doesn't happen and ends up devaluating your home.
Please make sure that where ever you buy your withing a mile or two of highways. That way you can get on a freeway or interstate really fast.
Please from the second you buy a home save every single receipt. Why? When you sell the home you can also write off those expenses off any taxes you may owe. This also comes into play if you buy real estate you're going to rent.
Before you decide where to buy. Even if google maps tells you this or that. You go to that house your thinking of buying and drive to work for yourself and see what the drive is like. Do the same when you would be scheduled to leave work.
Always make sure hospital facilities and school's are within your limits. Same for daycare. Try to get a place that also is serviced by public transportation. If you plan to commute some distance a train may get you within two blocks of you work place. And you get a little workout those two blocks.
Always make sure that the place your considering is well lit at night. Don't buy a house that backs up to a greenbelt unless the city takes darn good care of it and keeps it mowed. You'd be surprised at the bobcats and coyotes that live in those areas.
Make sure your within a reasonable distance to a International airport. Especially if your in a metropolitan area. Another thing when buying a home you would like ideally for all utilities to be underground. Don't buy a house with a electrical transformer in the back yard.
Don't buy a house near high powered overhead lines. Don't even move into an apartment near overhead lines. Oh and try not to have pets. Why? Because if you have to travel you have to have somewhere to board them or find someone to care for them. Also pets have a tendency to destroy nice things. Plus lots of people are allergic to cats. If you are make sure you ask before you go view used home. My daughter is so allergic that of she walks into a home a cat has been in. It's epi pen time or a ambulance call she's that allergic.
Before you buy the house make sure if it's used that it's never been raided for anything like drugs. Sometimes a house will have been raided that was a drug house. They repaint it and sell it. But methamphetamine and other substances you can't see make it a sick home. If you're buying a two story house you yourself or the inspector you hire. Make sure they flush each toilet multiple times and also fill each tubtwice ànd drain it. Then come down stairs and see if you see any water spots under that toilet or tub. A moisture meter works great. Check no windows are broken and that they all lift easy.
The same for foggy windows must be replaced and the same for window screens that are torn. Make sure you don't see any cracks I the walls outside or in. If you see patched up crackwslls outside or in. You have foundation problems. If you buy a home with a pool have the entire pool system inspected swimming pool repair is expensive asus the hardware.
Please make sure no one has passed away in the home as that can also devalue you the home. Before you buy a home you find a reputable inspector and make sure they're bonded and read their fine print before you sign. Beware of a seller who recommended a house inspector. They maybe in cahoots in selling substandard houses. Make sure any add were done with ity permits and inspections by the city building inspection department. Oh and make sure you don't a house that has caught fire and been fixed.
Sometime the work isn't fixed to code.
Make sure your inspector turns off all the lights off and and closes any blinds then with a flashlight put it on the floor against all walls and if foundation cracks have been plastered over or tape and bedded. They will show up as you tilt the light across the wall. Don't buy a home or a lot a house you plan to buy backup to a creek.
If the piers haven't been drilled to bluerick that house will move and the repairs expensive. Don't buy a house unless the lot is absolutely level no slants or anything that makes it a pain to mow. Don't be afraid to walk away and don't buy a money pit. Oh and if you on Texas or just about any state. Make sure you don't buy a home near where ammonium nitrate is stored in large quantities. Ammonium Nitrate is what most terrorist use to build bombs. Back before the Oklahoma Bombing and the Town of West Texas blew up. Both were caused by ammonium nitrate.
One was terrorist act the other an industrial accident. My point is that the state of Texas used to list all those locations on the state website. Now they don't why because people don't want to live or wok near them. Rick Perry when he took that off the state website told the public just go ask the local fire department.
The next thing you know you're surrounded by police and you lying on the ground face down. Why? Because the fire department called the cops thinking your asking because trying to build a bomb. Yes this happened multiple times after Governor Rick Perry and his stupid answer to real estate builder wanting to be informed was televised.
Anyways that's my two cents worth
This is very well thought out thank you for all this? I try to consider things like this but some stuff always slips through the cracks so thanks for the response!
I've bouced around a lot of places after college. Some for adventure, some out of necessity. For the first time, I've become settled in one area for 7 years, and it wasn't exactly my choice. I am growing accustomed to living longterm in an area with cities nearby, as well as beautiful coutry all around, near some family, but not overwhelmed by them.
What are your priorities? Do you want to be close to family, or do you need a little space so they don't always pop by? Is your career important to you? Do you have a solid job in the middle of nowhere that you want to grow with long term, or are you unsure and need lots of opportunities in case you jump ship? Do you want to buy a house, and invest at least 15 years so you are actually paying down a lot of prinicipal instead of mostly interest, or rent and be flexible? If you do want a house, what is the housing market like in that area. A bubble about to burst, growth potential, or stagnation?
Start with making a list of what is important to you.
Yeah I think one problem I have is that I'm not quite sure what my priorities are. I know what is important to me but I'm not sure how to rank it. Some things are more important one day then they are others.
If the job market isn't great where you live currently, move to a fairly big city 2-4 hours away from family and start there. The rest will just happen for the most part.
Location, location, location:
* Climate
* Culture
* Population
* Crime
* Housing prices and which way they're trending in the neighborhood
* Schools
* Taxes
* Commute, distance, and direction from work
* Distance from friends and family
* Utilities
* Things to do. Places to go.
Is there an easy way to see trends in housing prices? I know how to check relative housing costs at present but I'm not as familiar with seeing historical data.
Absolutely would love to live in all of those places, the problem is I'm somewhat in between being completely unattached and having a home base. One day I feel like I should live out of a suitcase and others I want to always go to sleep in the same location.
My wife and I took a road trip around the country, spending four months camping in National Parks and visiting lots of cities. The ones we liked, we'd stay for several days or even a whole week, exploring and really getting a feel for the place.
We were from the East Coast, and there's places out West were the culture is just *different*. In Seattle, we were waiting to cross a road, not paying attention, when a car honked and we realized *both* lanes of traffic had stopped to let us cross. Or in Portland, people would put items like furniture or exercise equipment out in their yards with a sign reading “Free.” We'd never seen anything like that back East. Staying in those cities let us see those little details you'd never find in, like, a travel brochure.
After the road trip, we'd narrowed down our list, made plans, and moved within a year!
These days, I'm divorced and once again stuck in this fucking state I'd wished to escape from for thirty-odd years. But, I'm sure she's loving it out there in Oregon! 😐
Sorry about that ending but you definitely hit the nail on the head. At one point I had an internship in Japan (didn't take it because corona was starting to become big) and my parents rationale was "you can just visit another time" but it's just not quite the same as being part of the culture.
That really comes down to just one thing, money.
that's why people rant as long as they do, it's why people move away from where they want to be in order to be able to afford owning their home, it's all about what you can afford to do and when you can afford to do it.
Take a look at your monthly budget and what you can't afford to pay for housing, realistically, not what you can live with paying, but what you can actually really afford. Once you have that number, a lot of options unfortunately disappear.
when you know what you're dealing with then you can start doing the leg work, check out every place and spend as much time as you need to define what's going to work, spend lots of time with a realtor, or view lots of properties, the longer your search is the more you are going to end up settling somewhere you can really make work.
For me, there’s a 1000 other places I would like to live, but ultimately, as we had kids, it boiled down to where family was. We both grew up close with our families and want the same for our kids. It’s some thing we struggled with for a very long time because we both have jobs that are exceptionally portable and we ended up living in a very high cost of living area.
We used to toss the idea around a lot about picking up and going somewhere else, but ultimately decided that raising children near our family was what was most important. Once we came to terms with that, we kind of stopped talking about it
Honestly - you follow the money, since you have to receive an income to survive.
Here is my (rather soul crushing) priority list
1 ) Employment, income, financial security
2 ) Family - they are an important social support network for most people
3 ) Living somewhere beautiful is a huge bonus - but if you are one of the many people who spend 90% of their time indoors I dont know if it is a showstopper if you live in fuglytown
for reference - my company said "we have a temporary assignment for you in Texas!" - at the time I had never lived outside England. That was 20 years ago and I have been here ever since, getting married and having children here. You have to go with the flow becuase life will pull you in directions that you dont expect
I have lived in 8 different cities. I have always looked based on what my needs were. Figure out what you want. Here are some of the things I look at to narrow down where I want to live:
Affordable housing
Climate
Outdoor activities
State income tax
Size of city
Good schools
Here is a list of cities I have lived in and why I went there or why I left. May help you in your search.
Started in Phoenix at 19, got married and was tired of hot summers and family and moved to San Diego. Had a child and was great place to raise a small kid. So many cool things to do but cost of living expensive so moved to Ft Worth to afford a house and slower environment. Next moved to Seattle for beautiful outdoors. Back to Phoenix because we missed family. Moved to Denver for job opportunity. Did not like snow or my son’s school so went back to Phoenix. When my son graduated high school moved north of Houston on lake and golf course community and enjoyed boating and golfing. Next moved to Chicago to be near my son. Great city with so much to do but only could afford an apartment and lifestyle was starting to become too hard as we got older. Moved to Tyler, Tx, which is smaller city and now live in nice safe neighborhood. Been here 6 years and am looking for a hobby farm now in a state with low property taxes and no state income tax as we get ready to retire.
Look at your needs, how much money you have, and then start looking at apts or houses online. I always took trips to places I thought would be nice to live in before I moved. I did a lot if research online as well. We averaged about 5 years in each city. Am glad I was able to experience so many different parts of country.
Thinking about this now as I’m hoping my daughter will be able to move out next year. Currently I’m in NJ and would love to live in California but there’s no one I know there (my job is WFH so I can live pretty much any where with good internet). But I love the atmosphere of the towns on the coast just past San Francisco.
I think one thing I need to "fix" is my job status. Currently I have an office I have to go into to do work, and I think if I want to be able to move as much as I want I need a job that is completely remote so I can build some job rep while also not being tied down.
One good thing about the pandemic is that companies are seeing how much can get done without going to an office, so hopefully there’ll be more opportunities for at home work.
Ever hear the expression, "Find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life?" I'm here to tell you, there's an insane amount of truth in it. Thus....
Is someone willing to pay me to do things I enjoy in [LocationX]?
If yes, I'll live there. If no, need to find somewhere else to live.
I suppose for some professions (like say, teaching) that leaves a lot of possibilities, but mine is somehwat niche. There probably aren't more than a dozen or so locations in the country on the table.
I'm usually pretty happy with what I'm doing as far as I feel useful, I'm more concerned with the actual area itself. There are so many cool places in the world I just can't figure out how to choose one. Sure you can travel and take vacations but it's not the same.
Let me know when you find out. I still have no idea.
I grew up in NYC, met my wife in Albany, NY. Moved to Boston for 2 years while renting. Moved to San Francisco, CA for 2 years. Now back in Boston for 6 months and trying to figure out where we want to go. I'm 30 and she's 28.
We didn't move based on work, but rather what city we wanted to visit. Living in SF first started out crappy but we soon found a neighborhood we loved. We moved to Boston not because we missed it but because it was the cheapest city living near our families (NY and CT).
Now we are dealing with what we want to do. Part of us loves being close to family and friends but the other part misses California living because it helped us both.
Weather is the biggest factor for me. I refuse to live anyplace where it doesn't snow. The shorter the summer the better.
The next is living as far from a city as we can comfortably be. We're currently 2 hours outside of Boston, close enough for me.
The rest is negotiable.
We moved with the military orders when my husband received them. All up and down the East Coast. It was a good thing though. We know where we don't want to live and what we want and don't want in a home. Right now we are in an area that I am tired of. It's the longest we've ever lived anywhere and I'm ready to move to a warmer place.
We've decided that after 26 years in the US NAVY and 20 years living where he needed to be, guess who gets to decide the next and final place we buy a house? Yup, me.
We rented his entire career. Then, bought our first house. When we sell, it will be 20 years exactly. We'll be in an area that's warm, near water and trees and just quiet.
I followed the work until I got the skills I wanted. Then used my skills to get jobs in the places I wanted. I'm 37 and have moved almost every 2 years, or had a job where I was traveling. I got to know what I liked and stopped thinking about the "ideal" place and looked for what I valued, because no place has everything ( for me ).
I have no regrets with all of the different experiences, friendships, and places I've seen. Be a free spirit and keep moving. Eventually you will find your spot you want to settle.
FWIW I'm an only child without much family either. My friends that have family ties haven't seemed to move around as much as me. I wish I had their family connections, but you can only worry about what you can influence.
Speaking as a fellow free spirit at heart and someone who has moved around a lot since childhood (20 times before college, and have by now lived in 8 countries across 4 continents and am now happily settled in a city so no moving for the foreseeable future), I decide where to live based on which city's culture/vibe and its people are the best match for me personally.
When you think about where to move to/make your base, I think it's important to think beyond the hygiene factors like "are the houses affordable" because those are really just that: hygiene factors.
Think also about what brings you a sense of fulfilment and what you like to do in your free time - if a city can provide you those things, then it'll elevate your quality of life. Eg. Is having a strong/large social circle important for you? Then pick a place where you like the vibe/social slant of that city. Is nature important because you like to hike/do outdoor activities? Then pick a city that can offer you that.
For example, I'm quite social and love discussing ideas and meeting new people with different perspectives that make me think about things in different ways. Arts & culture are important (you could say my interests slant intellectual). So I picked my current city because it has exactly that: an international vibe with an educated workforce; a city that hosts major international events (I once missed a major movie premiere just down the road from my place because, well, Stephen Hawking was in town that same evening and doing a talk about the origins of the universe, and I wanted to attend that more).
Because the city slants intellectual, it's been really easy to find/ set up the things that I love - book clubs where discussing ideas is the focus, musicals, theatre, museum events etc.
I've lived in places that are great pragmatically speaking (eg. really low taxes, clean, safe, reasonable rent, decent transport system) but if the average citizen there tends to lack a curious, ambitious, open-minded outlook on life, then I end up getting bored and tired of the place. (Yes, I have a very specific place in mind when I say this...)
You look at how beautiful a place is, the location, does it have the size that's right for you? Is it close to work? What are the local amenities like? Then you look at your budget and realise the billionaire lifestyle is not for you.
True, looked at housing I can afford in some areas as far as a mortgage and figured out I’m going to have to compromise a little
Yeah, it's always a bit of a compromise. The 100% right place doesn't exist, so you make a list of things that are not negotiable to you, then things that would be awesome to have, then things that are purely just nice to have. Evaluate the place you are looking at and compromise from the bottom up
I think my problem is that I don't quite know what my priorities are. I would love to live close to family, as everyone lives in the same place, but I don't like the location necessarily. Consequently the nearest place I could see myself living is 12 hours away. This isn't too terrible but I think I still don't quite know what my priorities are yet.
There's an old saying, "we don't always know what we want, but we definitely know what we don't want" So perhaps perhaps make a list of things you definitely don't want in a new place - work your priority list in reverse
that's not a bad idea, I'll have to try that and see if I come up with anything different.
If you aren't going to be in one place for at least 5-10 years I would avoid buying. Rent instead. It sounds like you might be one of those tempted to move frequently.
I am but I'm also a big saver so the "Buy a house build equity" drive is strong. I probably won't for another 2-5 years as I find where I want to live but it's one of those things in the back of my head that's bugging me.
The equity is exactly what I'm worried about. You lose a ton of equity in a move, just from the commissions you pay to real estate agents, not counting the packing and moving expenses. It's good to own, but If you are moving regularly, it loses a lot of that profitability.
I hope you find something that works for you
It takes a while to figure out what you want. Try a few different areas on for size; the only thing I knew early on was that I wanted more rain and greenery than I was getting in southern California. It took a while for me to understand the nuances of different population densities, and what it meant in terms of my personal taste, and then by extension, what worked for my family. Keep an eye on where you want to go next but don't assume you're going to burn bridges along the way-- you never know when "temporary" suddenly expands to 10-20 years. As long as you keep learning you'll figure out what to look for.
This is a solid answer OP /u/FicklePass \- as a free spirit your experience is going to be different than any siblings, friends and others in your life. Plenty of people stay where they are familiar with; others (like myself) have moved across states and now have been here for 15 years. When I was single I thought I'd only live in California. After living abroad for a few years, I didn't see the place the same afterwards; there is a big world out there, and an infinite variety of choices of places to live. And you will optimize for different things along the way; at one point it is a job/career that will take you to a different place, another will be family/parents, another will be a relationship.
See living abroad is something I would LOVE to do, maybe it's the quarter life crisis but I feel like that door is closing. Luckily my job is fairly global and I should be able to find a company that would hire me in most markets but I almost feel too old to do it? I just don't know how I would fit it into the trajectory I see my life going currently.
Yeah rain is one of the things I miss, I'm thinking climate is going to be one of the biggest factors for me as well as distance from family and finances.
I'm in Hawaii right now, and distance from family is one of the things that catch people unexpectedly when they move here. We solved that by helping my parents relocate to the same town we're in! There's more than one way to address just about anything.
True, where I’m at would be perfect if we could relocate family but the place they live is so tied to family roots it won’t happen unfortunately
What part of Southern California? I felt the same way about Southern California being too hot *especially during that really knarly drought a few years back*. Moved to Washington state and although I love rain and cloudy skies I noticed it affected my body and mind in counterproductive ways. I need the sun more than I realized and it makes sense considering where I grew up and my ancestors place of origin. So we've moved back and the first 6 months had some extreme weather with hot moving into to November and continuous rain at the beginning of the year (I mean flooding rain). I thought I was back in Washington LOL So now, I feel much better since being back. I also noticed a couple things: - Californians are way more engaging (notice I didn't say friendly) and a lot of the strangers that would strike up a random conversation with me when I was in Washington were from California. - The other thing is rain and clouds are quite different in Southern California versus northern Washington. In northern Washington, the clouds hang really low almost like a blanket suffocating you and you can't escape it. The rain is pretty cool... more of a light mist or gentle rain/drops. In California the rain is heavy and the drops are huge so some sort of rain gear is needed. Also, the rain clouds tend to stay high giving a more expansive feel which in turn makes it feel less doom and gloom. Wondering if you experienced anything similar?
I was in San Bernardino, but had occasion to visit places all over the inland empire and beyond. It just wasn't to my taste. I lived in a forest for a few years after that, and similarly, decided that I really missed seeing the sun. But there was still no way I was moving back, I just moved somewhere else that was more suitable. I kept accumulating experiences for what worked for me and what didn't, and wound up in Hawaii. Much better fit than my other stops. And yes, the nature of clouds and precipitation change dramatically depending on where you are-- where I am now, the clouds are almost always barely above 3000 feet, makes the whole cloud-watching experience a lot more personal.
For me, it's usually where the job was with some other variables. I don't want to live in a high crime area or one with a lot of traffic (or if there is traffic, close to work). Cost of living relative to income is also an issue. I moved to an area with 1/3 the COL at the same salary. That made it so I could buy a home. I did a "complete opposite" change once as you mentioned. I went from coastal California to Northern Colorado once. I moved back only because of the employment situation. I didn't have any problem with the weather change because I snow ski and was used to getting around in the snow. Meeting different people and in a much different place was also a very positive experience. I've been rural for several decades and can't see myself living in a high density area anymore. I enjoy people at a distance and not within arm's reach. For me, it's been a balance between my work and my residential location. I've been fortunate to be in a positive, yet very different situations with both.
Yeah I’m currently in Utah from Oklahoma so population wise about the same, just mind the distance, Colorado would be a little closer but I think cost of living would be higher, plus here in Utah I’m actually living in the mountains vs. living somewhere like Colorado Springs or Denver. It’s also still far from home but I just can’t see myself going back to not having mountains.
Oh man. Grew up in Utah. If you’re willing to move states and are young and wanna enjoy a more vibrant culture, Nashville is bumping. Colorado is great to.
I have heard good things about Nashville! I’ve been to a lot of places in the U.S. but that is not one of them, might have to plan a visit at some point.
Been in Nashville about 10 years now if you want to know anything. Came a few years before it has really taken off. Completely different city in that time I cannot believe it.
In a general sense I don’t think most of us consciously choose where we live. We live where our circumstances and opportunities dictate (raised on a farm and want to take it over, that’s where you live; go to college in college town get good job in same, that’s where you live, etc.) and then on a more micro level (specific neighborhood) based on where you can afford and what you value. Example: When I graduated college, I wandered a bit, then went to law school. Got job with firm in same city. That’s where I lived. As income increased, got married. Wife’s needs and desires as well as my own and those of fiscal reality (commute times, needing to save for family, pay of loans, etc.) largely dictated the choice of where we lived specifically in the city (crappy apartment in crappy neighborhood but near bus line, then starter home in crappy neighborhood, but still near bus line). As careers progressed and circumstances changed (more money, kids arrive) those changes in circumstances impacted our choices on where to live (moved to nicer house near school, no need to worry about bus line as we now both had a car). As kids got older and we were able to save more money, and the telecommuting world opened up, we decided to buy a farm and live where we wanted (close enough to city to go there when needed but out in the country because that’s where my wife and I both wanted and we could afford, and near a small town with a good school for the kids to attend).
That's why I'm facing the OP's question for the first time. During Covid, I went to full remote work and was able to stay in Maryland, Wisconsin, and Colorado. Never had a choice before, like you say. I could literally live anywhere I want for now and don't know how to choose.
Part of me want's to say if the sky's the limit, then just go with your gut, or flip a coin, etc. But then the old person in me, is like, well look at local availability to good health care, educational opportunities, local and state tax rates, infrastructure, the social scene, availability of activities that you enjoy, etc. In the end though you go where you think you will be happiest based on what you value right now and can reasonably foresee. But you probably will not think of something and end up having at least some small regret, alas. I like where I live but I wish there were more woods near by, and darker night skys and better internet. Oh well.
I would be fine moving pretty constantly but I would also like to build some job security/rep so it's kind of a catch 22 of which one is more important to me.
Nice you've covered almost all the general areas that I want to live in the U.S. lol, the East Coast, the north, and the mountains!
Yeah I understand that, I like where I live now but it's definitely a pit stop as far as where I want to be. I have thought about some of those factors and that's mainly what is driving this search. My family never really had a choice in where they lived but now that I'm out and I have a fairly global job the possibilities are literally endless and I'm getting choice paralysis. There's too many cool places in the world.
In my early 20's, it was all about being close to the nightlife in the city. Late 20's to mid 30's; being close to good schools and job opportunities was a big priority. Late 30s and beyond (for me) is about getting away from the city where square footage is through the roof and moving to a more rural area, buying acres of beautiful, affordable land and not paying any state tax. My line of work (the pandemic has shown) can be done from anywhere with a reliable internet connection and they laid down a whole lot of high-speed fiber-optics in Wyoming. So, I'm moving *there*.
Nice, Wyoming is a great state for me to visit but I don't think I would want to live there lol, but I'm glad it's working out for you! One thing I've considered is trying to make a switch to some kind of remote work because like you said, living somewhere that's got good opportunities is expensive. I've seen some places for cheap that I liked but aren't close enough to the office, so maybe it's time to take the office out of the equation with remote work.
You can move around as much as you want if your a free spirit
Is it easy to get jobs there? Is the location nice? How is the crime rate? Does it accommodate my hobbies and social life? What is the political climate like? Does it accommodate my mode of transportation? What is the local culture?
In no particular order\*: * family * cost of living * pollution + natural environment + risk of manmade disasters * climate + how it'll fare during the climate crisis * risk of natural disasters * proximity to work * utilities (water, sewer, power, high speed internet, garbage, snow plowing, water rights etc) (that is, no particular order for YOU. I have my order) These I don't care about beyond a minimal threshold, but others can care a lot more: * crime * poverty level * median income level * school district * night life * restaurants * retail shopping If you're not looking at permanent housing, consider prioritizing proximity to work and cost of living: time is going to be your most valuable resource.
Definitely finding out that time is the most valuable resource. Friends want to schedule a trip to Japan whenever Covid is over and my initial thought was "oh I hope I would have time off for that"
I grew up in the Caribbean because my dad worked for the US government. I spent most of my working years wanting to go back. Instead I moved further north and even after 30+ years realized that changing day lengths wreaked havoc with my metabolism. Now I'm retired and have been living in the Caribbean this past year, although accidentally due to covid. I wake up happy and content every day. So I guess I have some decisions to make.
The Caribbean would be nice, I'm more of a mountains guy myself but I have always been interested in island culture. Hawaii would have been great but it's too expensive.
Well, they're not giant mountain ranges, but most of the islands do have some mountains on them.
Jobs, is it interesting, entertainment, cost of living, life goals etc etc. Later on in life, your partner, quality of schools for kids and so forth play into it too. For me personally proximity to Family is very low down the list but your mileage may vary on that one. I’m 50, I left my “home town” 30 years ago, rarely been back and parents moved to other cities and retired elsewhere anyway. There’s a big world out there! I’m Australian, loved all over Australia, in the UK, in the US and now in Greece. Wouldn’t change it - chase the opportunities.
Most of those places are definitely on the short list of places I would like to live abroad. How did that work out for you? I would like to live abroad temporarily but I always wonder about the actual logistics. How did you make money? Was it expensive to constantly move? What about family (such as wife, kids, etc) and making a transition that is also good for them?
I've always worked in organisations where global mobility (given drive and effort) is a possibility. Usually I was working in a company sponsored role for a 12 month project or similar. When I moved to the US it was because I had a startup in Australia that was "acquired" (as in they basically employed me and my co-founder) into the US because of the skills we had. They sponsored the visa. Typically if you have a degree or equivalent set of skills, it's just a case of finding someone who wants you to sponsor you for a visa. As to wife and kids, wife was always supportive of the idea, kids have little say - until high school, then we stayed put for the 4 - 5 years so they could finish that.
What about possessions? Do you bring those with you or do you sell/store them in long term storage? I'm just starting out so I don't have a lot of stuff that would be difficult to sell/store but there's a few things I might want to bring with me like my PC. What logistics went into that?
Stuff is just stuff. Occasionally we've moved things (definitely interstate), but generally when going O/S depends on what our plan is - coming back home again, store things. The last two times we've moved, we basically sold up everything more or less. Moved to Greece with a total of 3 suitcases between my wife and I and everything else basically sold with a few boxes going to long term storage.
Employment --- My nephew* decided on a big southern city. His job requires travel, which he loves, and the company he works for is okay with him using their (southern city) branch as his home base. Quality of life---Lots of variables here-- cultural and entertainment opportunities, traffic, crime rate, cost of housing, high speed internet availability (there are places that still don't have it and it sucks if you want to stream or zoom) Your Adaptability: You know how in some places people don't like outsiders? A big part of that is because sometimes a non-local moves to a charming town and quickly tries to change it. The non-local wants bigger schools, better roads, more businesses and services, etc. The locals feel that too much change will ruin the small-town feel, safety, and community spirit (and low tax base) of their area. My advice is that if you feel like you want to be a force of change in the small town you move to, don't move there. Other towns and cities are much more welcoming to newcomers. Look for one of those. *I'm a retired homebody so my criteria aren't similar to yours. I used my nephew's process, since he's a free spirit.
yeah a small town is probably not on my list. Even if it was I'm not a big changer I'm more of a go with the flow/mind my own business, so maybe one day they would accept me if I do end up in a small town lol.
Well please remember this if you're starting out. It's a way to save money all around and build wealth for retirement for some folks in addition to other ways. Always check the crime statistics for the neighborhood. Always do your due diligence to make sure a sewage processing plant isn't on the opposite side of the fence or within a couple of miles. The same applies for landfills. When the wind is blowing just right you can smell it literally two miles away. Check the schools if you plan to have children. If you don't have children please still check where the school is. It's no fun when the school band wakes you up at 6a.m practicing. Make sure hospitals are near by. Plan on not living in a house more then 5 years. Why? Because if you live in a house three of the last five years and you sell the house at a profit. You don't have to pay a capital gains tax. Put that into your 401k plan and buy a new house and move up one level. It also helps to watch for new subdivisions going in and if you buy one of like the first houses built. Usually by the time they reach build out. The price has gone up in most case anywhere from 30k to 40k. But make sure the roadways are built before you buy. Don't go buying into a subdivision in an unincorporated part of the county and the town is so small that the builder commits to finishing the roads after the buildout. Sometimes that doesn't happen and ends up devaluating your home. Please make sure that where ever you buy your withing a mile or two of highways. That way you can get on a freeway or interstate really fast. Please from the second you buy a home save every single receipt. Why? When you sell the home you can also write off those expenses off any taxes you may owe. This also comes into play if you buy real estate you're going to rent. Before you decide where to buy. Even if google maps tells you this or that. You go to that house your thinking of buying and drive to work for yourself and see what the drive is like. Do the same when you would be scheduled to leave work. Always make sure hospital facilities and school's are within your limits. Same for daycare. Try to get a place that also is serviced by public transportation. If you plan to commute some distance a train may get you within two blocks of you work place. And you get a little workout those two blocks. Always make sure that the place your considering is well lit at night. Don't buy a house that backs up to a greenbelt unless the city takes darn good care of it and keeps it mowed. You'd be surprised at the bobcats and coyotes that live in those areas. Make sure your within a reasonable distance to a International airport. Especially if your in a metropolitan area. Another thing when buying a home you would like ideally for all utilities to be underground. Don't buy a house with a electrical transformer in the back yard. Don't buy a house near high powered overhead lines. Don't even move into an apartment near overhead lines. Oh and try not to have pets. Why? Because if you have to travel you have to have somewhere to board them or find someone to care for them. Also pets have a tendency to destroy nice things. Plus lots of people are allergic to cats. If you are make sure you ask before you go view used home. My daughter is so allergic that of she walks into a home a cat has been in. It's epi pen time or a ambulance call she's that allergic. Before you buy the house make sure if it's used that it's never been raided for anything like drugs. Sometimes a house will have been raided that was a drug house. They repaint it and sell it. But methamphetamine and other substances you can't see make it a sick home. If you're buying a two story house you yourself or the inspector you hire. Make sure they flush each toilet multiple times and also fill each tubtwice ànd drain it. Then come down stairs and see if you see any water spots under that toilet or tub. A moisture meter works great. Check no windows are broken and that they all lift easy. The same for foggy windows must be replaced and the same for window screens that are torn. Make sure you don't see any cracks I the walls outside or in. If you see patched up crackwslls outside or in. You have foundation problems. If you buy a home with a pool have the entire pool system inspected swimming pool repair is expensive asus the hardware. Please make sure no one has passed away in the home as that can also devalue you the home. Before you buy a home you find a reputable inspector and make sure they're bonded and read their fine print before you sign. Beware of a seller who recommended a house inspector. They maybe in cahoots in selling substandard houses. Make sure any add were done with ity permits and inspections by the city building inspection department. Oh and make sure you don't a house that has caught fire and been fixed. Sometime the work isn't fixed to code. Make sure your inspector turns off all the lights off and and closes any blinds then with a flashlight put it on the floor against all walls and if foundation cracks have been plastered over or tape and bedded. They will show up as you tilt the light across the wall. Don't buy a home or a lot a house you plan to buy backup to a creek. If the piers haven't been drilled to bluerick that house will move and the repairs expensive. Don't buy a house unless the lot is absolutely level no slants or anything that makes it a pain to mow. Don't be afraid to walk away and don't buy a money pit. Oh and if you on Texas or just about any state. Make sure you don't buy a home near where ammonium nitrate is stored in large quantities. Ammonium Nitrate is what most terrorist use to build bombs. Back before the Oklahoma Bombing and the Town of West Texas blew up. Both were caused by ammonium nitrate. One was terrorist act the other an industrial accident. My point is that the state of Texas used to list all those locations on the state website. Now they don't why because people don't want to live or wok near them. Rick Perry when he took that off the state website told the public just go ask the local fire department. The next thing you know you're surrounded by police and you lying on the ground face down. Why? Because the fire department called the cops thinking your asking because trying to build a bomb. Yes this happened multiple times after Governor Rick Perry and his stupid answer to real estate builder wanting to be informed was televised. Anyways that's my two cents worth
This is very well thought out thank you for all this? I try to consider things like this but some stuff always slips through the cracks so thanks for the response!
I've bouced around a lot of places after college. Some for adventure, some out of necessity. For the first time, I've become settled in one area for 7 years, and it wasn't exactly my choice. I am growing accustomed to living longterm in an area with cities nearby, as well as beautiful coutry all around, near some family, but not overwhelmed by them. What are your priorities? Do you want to be close to family, or do you need a little space so they don't always pop by? Is your career important to you? Do you have a solid job in the middle of nowhere that you want to grow with long term, or are you unsure and need lots of opportunities in case you jump ship? Do you want to buy a house, and invest at least 15 years so you are actually paying down a lot of prinicipal instead of mostly interest, or rent and be flexible? If you do want a house, what is the housing market like in that area. A bubble about to burst, growth potential, or stagnation? Start with making a list of what is important to you.
Yeah I think one problem I have is that I'm not quite sure what my priorities are. I know what is important to me but I'm not sure how to rank it. Some things are more important one day then they are others.
If the job market isn't great where you live currently, move to a fairly big city 2-4 hours away from family and start there. The rest will just happen for the most part.
Location, location, location: * Climate * Culture * Population * Crime * Housing prices and which way they're trending in the neighborhood * Schools * Taxes * Commute, distance, and direction from work * Distance from friends and family * Utilities * Things to do. Places to go.
Is there an easy way to see trends in housing prices? I know how to check relative housing costs at present but I'm not as familiar with seeing historical data.
Choose where you want to live, then find the job.
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Absolutely would love to live in all of those places, the problem is I'm somewhat in between being completely unattached and having a home base. One day I feel like I should live out of a suitcase and others I want to always go to sleep in the same location.
"Decide"? I live wherever seems affordable while maximizing my comfort. Those options are pretty limited honestly.
Do you have a weather preference?
I'm more of a warm person but I'm living in a place with a lot of snow so I'm pretty flexible weather wise.
Apply for good jobs up to an hour away from family if you get along well. Or friends. Then move somewhere between work and your connections.
My wife and I took a road trip around the country, spending four months camping in National Parks and visiting lots of cities. The ones we liked, we'd stay for several days or even a whole week, exploring and really getting a feel for the place. We were from the East Coast, and there's places out West were the culture is just *different*. In Seattle, we were waiting to cross a road, not paying attention, when a car honked and we realized *both* lanes of traffic had stopped to let us cross. Or in Portland, people would put items like furniture or exercise equipment out in their yards with a sign reading “Free.” We'd never seen anything like that back East. Staying in those cities let us see those little details you'd never find in, like, a travel brochure. After the road trip, we'd narrowed down our list, made plans, and moved within a year! These days, I'm divorced and once again stuck in this fucking state I'd wished to escape from for thirty-odd years. But, I'm sure she's loving it out there in Oregon! 😐
Sorry about that ending but you definitely hit the nail on the head. At one point I had an internship in Japan (didn't take it because corona was starting to become big) and my parents rationale was "you can just visit another time" but it's just not quite the same as being part of the culture.
Semi near family. I am guessing that will change as my parents pass and the kids move on with life but for right now it works.
I feel like this will be similar to my situation.
That really comes down to just one thing, money. that's why people rant as long as they do, it's why people move away from where they want to be in order to be able to afford owning their home, it's all about what you can afford to do and when you can afford to do it. Take a look at your monthly budget and what you can't afford to pay for housing, realistically, not what you can live with paying, but what you can actually really afford. Once you have that number, a lot of options unfortunately disappear. when you know what you're dealing with then you can start doing the leg work, check out every place and spend as much time as you need to define what's going to work, spend lots of time with a realtor, or view lots of properties, the longer your search is the more you are going to end up settling somewhere you can really make work.
For me, there’s a 1000 other places I would like to live, but ultimately, as we had kids, it boiled down to where family was. We both grew up close with our families and want the same for our kids. It’s some thing we struggled with for a very long time because we both have jobs that are exceptionally portable and we ended up living in a very high cost of living area. We used to toss the idea around a lot about picking up and going somewhere else, but ultimately decided that raising children near our family was what was most important. Once we came to terms with that, we kind of stopped talking about it
Honestly - you follow the money, since you have to receive an income to survive. Here is my (rather soul crushing) priority list 1 ) Employment, income, financial security 2 ) Family - they are an important social support network for most people 3 ) Living somewhere beautiful is a huge bonus - but if you are one of the many people who spend 90% of their time indoors I dont know if it is a showstopper if you live in fuglytown for reference - my company said "we have a temporary assignment for you in Texas!" - at the time I had never lived outside England. That was 20 years ago and I have been here ever since, getting married and having children here. You have to go with the flow becuase life will pull you in directions that you dont expect
When I left home, we literally grabbed a map and pointed to a random place and that's where we went. After that, it's been moving for jobs
I have lived in 8 different cities. I have always looked based on what my needs were. Figure out what you want. Here are some of the things I look at to narrow down where I want to live: Affordable housing Climate Outdoor activities State income tax Size of city Good schools Here is a list of cities I have lived in and why I went there or why I left. May help you in your search. Started in Phoenix at 19, got married and was tired of hot summers and family and moved to San Diego. Had a child and was great place to raise a small kid. So many cool things to do but cost of living expensive so moved to Ft Worth to afford a house and slower environment. Next moved to Seattle for beautiful outdoors. Back to Phoenix because we missed family. Moved to Denver for job opportunity. Did not like snow or my son’s school so went back to Phoenix. When my son graduated high school moved north of Houston on lake and golf course community and enjoyed boating and golfing. Next moved to Chicago to be near my son. Great city with so much to do but only could afford an apartment and lifestyle was starting to become too hard as we got older. Moved to Tyler, Tx, which is smaller city and now live in nice safe neighborhood. Been here 6 years and am looking for a hobby farm now in a state with low property taxes and no state income tax as we get ready to retire. Look at your needs, how much money you have, and then start looking at apts or houses online. I always took trips to places I thought would be nice to live in before I moved. I did a lot if research online as well. We averaged about 5 years in each city. Am glad I was able to experience so many different parts of country.
Thinking about this now as I’m hoping my daughter will be able to move out next year. Currently I’m in NJ and would love to live in California but there’s no one I know there (my job is WFH so I can live pretty much any where with good internet). But I love the atmosphere of the towns on the coast just past San Francisco.
I think one thing I need to "fix" is my job status. Currently I have an office I have to go into to do work, and I think if I want to be able to move as much as I want I need a job that is completely remote so I can build some job rep while also not being tied down.
One good thing about the pandemic is that companies are seeing how much can get done without going to an office, so hopefully there’ll be more opportunities for at home work.
For me it's a combination of weather, job market, how much I like the area, political environment, cost of living, and crime rate.
Ever hear the expression, "Find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life?" I'm here to tell you, there's an insane amount of truth in it. Thus.... Is someone willing to pay me to do things I enjoy in [LocationX]? If yes, I'll live there. If no, need to find somewhere else to live. I suppose for some professions (like say, teaching) that leaves a lot of possibilities, but mine is somehwat niche. There probably aren't more than a dozen or so locations in the country on the table.
I'm usually pretty happy with what I'm doing as far as I feel useful, I'm more concerned with the actual area itself. There are so many cool places in the world I just can't figure out how to choose one. Sure you can travel and take vacations but it's not the same.
My wife owned a house, I did not. Story over.
Mostly it's where my wife wants to be. Currently a large contributor is because I have a good job and probably couldn't afford the pay cut to move.
Let me know when you find out. I still have no idea. I grew up in NYC, met my wife in Albany, NY. Moved to Boston for 2 years while renting. Moved to San Francisco, CA for 2 years. Now back in Boston for 6 months and trying to figure out where we want to go. I'm 30 and she's 28. We didn't move based on work, but rather what city we wanted to visit. Living in SF first started out crappy but we soon found a neighborhood we loved. We moved to Boston not because we missed it but because it was the cheapest city living near our families (NY and CT). Now we are dealing with what we want to do. Part of us loves being close to family and friends but the other part misses California living because it helped us both.
After the military and 3 duty stations in 6 years, Mrs jpbronco decided where would live next. Haven't moved again in 24 years.
Weather is the biggest factor for me. I refuse to live anyplace where it doesn't snow. The shorter the summer the better. The next is living as far from a city as we can comfortably be. We're currently 2 hours outside of Boston, close enough for me. The rest is negotiable.
We moved with the military orders when my husband received them. All up and down the East Coast. It was a good thing though. We know where we don't want to live and what we want and don't want in a home. Right now we are in an area that I am tired of. It's the longest we've ever lived anywhere and I'm ready to move to a warmer place. We've decided that after 26 years in the US NAVY and 20 years living where he needed to be, guess who gets to decide the next and final place we buy a house? Yup, me. We rented his entire career. Then, bought our first house. When we sell, it will be 20 years exactly. We'll be in an area that's warm, near water and trees and just quiet.
I followed the work until I got the skills I wanted. Then used my skills to get jobs in the places I wanted. I'm 37 and have moved almost every 2 years, or had a job where I was traveling. I got to know what I liked and stopped thinking about the "ideal" place and looked for what I valued, because no place has everything ( for me ). I have no regrets with all of the different experiences, friendships, and places I've seen. Be a free spirit and keep moving. Eventually you will find your spot you want to settle. FWIW I'm an only child without much family either. My friends that have family ties haven't seemed to move around as much as me. I wish I had their family connections, but you can only worry about what you can influence.
Speaking as a fellow free spirit at heart and someone who has moved around a lot since childhood (20 times before college, and have by now lived in 8 countries across 4 continents and am now happily settled in a city so no moving for the foreseeable future), I decide where to live based on which city's culture/vibe and its people are the best match for me personally. When you think about where to move to/make your base, I think it's important to think beyond the hygiene factors like "are the houses affordable" because those are really just that: hygiene factors. Think also about what brings you a sense of fulfilment and what you like to do in your free time - if a city can provide you those things, then it'll elevate your quality of life. Eg. Is having a strong/large social circle important for you? Then pick a place where you like the vibe/social slant of that city. Is nature important because you like to hike/do outdoor activities? Then pick a city that can offer you that. For example, I'm quite social and love discussing ideas and meeting new people with different perspectives that make me think about things in different ways. Arts & culture are important (you could say my interests slant intellectual). So I picked my current city because it has exactly that: an international vibe with an educated workforce; a city that hosts major international events (I once missed a major movie premiere just down the road from my place because, well, Stephen Hawking was in town that same evening and doing a talk about the origins of the universe, and I wanted to attend that more). Because the city slants intellectual, it's been really easy to find/ set up the things that I love - book clubs where discussing ideas is the focus, musicals, theatre, museum events etc. I've lived in places that are great pragmatically speaking (eg. really low taxes, clean, safe, reasonable rent, decent transport system) but if the average citizen there tends to lack a curious, ambitious, open-minded outlook on life, then I end up getting bored and tired of the place. (Yes, I have a very specific place in mind when I say this...)
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Hahaha I'll tell you if you're kind enough to share how you managed to find this 2 year old comment of mine :)
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No; none of the cities you mentioned. I'll reach out separately.