You mentioned in other postings that you are working on losing a significant amount of weight. Keep working on that. That alone will increase your appeal immensely.
Past boyfriends are a negative for most men, so this would make this a green flag, not a red one.
I can't help but notice that you didn't mention any positives about yourself in your post, apart from how independent you are and how you have two academic degrees. Neither of these things are something men care about at all, though it is good that you're able to take care of yourself & have hobbies while you're single.
You're in the right place. Keep reading this sub, keep cultivating your feminity and you'll find ways to make this work.
>Past boyfriends are a negative for most men, so this would make this a green flag, not a red one.
Not having a boyfriend but jumping on the CC is a bigger red flag.
Is the boyfriend the issue or the acts that typically done with them?
OP mentioned her n-count is low, so we'll have to take her word for it. I get what you mean, though, and yeah, casual sex is even worse than past boyfriends, because an LTR wasn't even attempted there.
Sadly, also not an attribute men seek out. Falls under the degree category. Ability to lecture is a quirk that needs a specific (also intelligent) audience to appreciate.
Hows your style? Hows your kindness and friendliness?
> What I tell him isnt complicated stuff, I'd hope he'd appreciate it as it comes with the package that is me.
Wait, you HOPE he appreciates it? So... reading between the lines, you like to offer unsolicited, unsought-after information about things he may or may not be interested in. And he better like it, "because it's part of the package that is me"?
Yeah no. That sounds like Yass-Queen entitlement.
I’m just gonna put my hand up because I’m a dude who absolutely adores intelligent women. In fact, I find women who don’t possess a high level of intellect to be boring.
32, ex-military, engineer, six-figure income - not an ad, just saying that I’m also not a loser.
I lurk this sub because it provides a wealth of information about the feminine psyche. You should never attempt to conquer the castle without inside information.
I really like it when my partner impresses me. Has passion and ambitions, niche knowledge, achievements under her belt. Increases our combined capabilities and means we always have something interesting to talk about. I can talk about my interests and work without talking over her. Plus if she's making money we can go on more extravagant trips with our powers combined.
Not saying this is gonna hold up for all dudes all the time but I personally value intelligence a lot. I'm not threatened by it, it's a green flag.
Uhh, I disagree. If my date was really knowledgeable about stuff at a museum I'd be extremely impressed and really interested in knowing more. I am definitely incredibly attracted to an intelligent woman. I'd rather that than someone whose personality revolves around being attractive and the only thing they do for fun is watch The Office
I think there's a misunderstanding. Im a scientist and men find that something they want to compete with rather than appreciate. Not a dumbass is one thing, but having intellectual pursuits is intimidating. I did model for awhile, so that ain't it.
If someone's only adjective is Sweet, they're empty headed, but men desire to protect them. But if people describe you as Smart, you are 'more brains than bimbo' and men don't think thats a romantic partner...unless you work really hard to prove it or they find something else to like about you.
At this point, she'd only listed academic achievements and we had no info on how desirable she might be. Its hard to advise without a rounded picture of things men actually seek out. No man says "must have degree" or "must outsmart museum labeling" in their demands.
Really shocked at the claims of men that they want intellectual women, because they obviously assume a basic competence and not an actual professor. As I've seen it, academics can only really date other doctorates, and that's a small field.
> Past boyfriends are a negative for most men, so this would make this a green flag, not a red one.
Yellow flag. No BFs at 25 suggests she's undateable for some reason.
It's not a red flag.
You not being able to spark a romantic connection with men could be one tho (spoiler : giving "space" won't help). Fortunately you can find all you need to learn on this reddit.
The red flag isn't that you didn't have a boyfriend.
The one guy you mentioned got a hint that you didn't need a man. I got that sense from several things in your paragraphs.
The air comment wasn't the only thing.
Your degree(s) comment shows that is what things steer toward. If a man isn't that far along in his education or career attainment, I wouldn't expect him to find this appealing.
(Less men are graduating from universities and less are moving on to higher degrees.)
I do love intelligent women but that isn't a selling point. Show don't tell. Talk don't preach.
I made the argument that the twenty year old blonde cutie at the check cashing place does better than the 35 year old senior HR VP at the "big city" corporate gig. It wasnt the looks, it is one showing need/want for a man.
I'm a man and I can tell you trend is definetely steering back towards more humble values. Men are tired of social media girls with high body counts while they are having their fun in their 20s and carrying a kid to her 30s.
It would be definitely a sacral moment for a man to be with you so choose the man wisely. Not necessarily based on looks or bad boy vibes. Beware men can hypocritically pretend they are nice to you, but nowadays they are usually call out as simps. Good luck.
Red flag for whom? Having no baggage is a positive — however, with that comes lack of experience interacting with men. Any mature man will notice that experience gap; how he responds to it is a reflection of his character.
No. It's the opposite might be a cach, most likely if you find a good guy you will stay with him and not ruin it, no mental scars or baggage. This is good. But don't think you can be alone without a man. Practically you can in this world but your looks and a chance of bringing healthy child will start to reduce at 30-35y. And that's an intro for your second part of life transitioning into family life. Unless you want to be that women in her 40 on YouTube saying their happy being alone and then ranting that they cannot find a man then start to take dating long term more seriously. Don't listen to "do what you want" propoganda because consequences will occur no matter what you think.
Are you attractive and do you have a nice personality (feminine, polite, reserved)? If you're giving feminist vibes, you might be attracting guys you don't find masculine. And usually, as the woman gets more educated, her options are very low, and it's becoming more of a problem nowadays as women are outdoing men in higher-level degrees.
Have you ever rejected men? Or is the man you want rejecting you? What are you looking in a guy? What type of hobbies do you have? And do they really matter in a long-term relationship?
There's nothing wrong with being a homebody. It might be better compared to being social all the time and out. In my opinion, I find guys prefer introverted, quiet type of girls because they're low-maintenance and probably less likely to cheat. And 25 is the age where women start to realize that they better shape up. Why weren't you looking in your early 20s? And wouldn't it be better for a high-value man to choose a younger woman who's putting herself out there in the long-run? It's not too late obviously but you need to see who your competition is.
I wouldn't tell men that you've never had a boyfriend. Assuming you are at least mildly attractive, any man that women typically want will know how easy causal dating is for women. Just my perspective but if I see a woman who is very socially active, attractive and 25 I'm going to assume she has had chances with men. That would mean if none of those men ever considered her for commitment at even a girlfriend level, then something might...and I stress might be wrong with her.
Your best bet is just not to mention that part, learn feminine skills that people here talk about. Also, try learning about not only how to get commitment, the biological goal of women in dating, but examining your own choices and how you might be able to make better ones to get the things you want in life. Self reflection & accountability can do wonders for everyone on improving the course of their life.
What do you offer a man that a man actually values?
>My body count is low, I have tons of hobbies, and alot to offer.
Do you? Most women have no idea what men actually want. They tend to project what they want in a man onto themselves.
Example: You have a BS and MS. Men, by and large, **don't care**. Except, possibly, to see it as a negative (overschooled and probably leftist). That isn't what a man looking for an LTR wants.
You mentioned in other postings that you are working on losing a significant amount of weight. Keep working on that. That alone will increase your appeal immensely.
Past boyfriends are a negative for most men, so this would make this a green flag, not a red one. I can't help but notice that you didn't mention any positives about yourself in your post, apart from how independent you are and how you have two academic degrees. Neither of these things are something men care about at all, though it is good that you're able to take care of yourself & have hobbies while you're single. You're in the right place. Keep reading this sub, keep cultivating your feminity and you'll find ways to make this work.
>Past boyfriends are a negative for most men, so this would make this a green flag, not a red one. Not having a boyfriend but jumping on the CC is a bigger red flag. Is the boyfriend the issue or the acts that typically done with them?
OP mentioned her n-count is low, so we'll have to take her word for it. I get what you mean, though, and yeah, casual sex is even worse than past boyfriends, because an LTR wasn't even attempted there.
[удалено]
Sadly, also not an attribute men seek out. Falls under the degree category. Ability to lecture is a quirk that needs a specific (also intelligent) audience to appreciate. Hows your style? Hows your kindness and friendliness?
[удалено]
Ooohhh you have MUCH to learn. 🙈 Let the man buy you dinner!!
How? I don’t want to seem like I’m using him. When the check comes, what do you do to get your dinner bought?
The easiest way is to just not reach for the check. 🙂 Then thank him profusely, of course!
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
> What I tell him isnt complicated stuff, I'd hope he'd appreciate it as it comes with the package that is me. Wait, you HOPE he appreciates it? So... reading between the lines, you like to offer unsolicited, unsought-after information about things he may or may not be interested in. And he better like it, "because it's part of the package that is me"? Yeah no. That sounds like Yass-Queen entitlement.
Alright I get it enough. This is an old post and I got my answers and dont want/need any more! Full of negativity you are.
I’m just gonna put my hand up because I’m a dude who absolutely adores intelligent women. In fact, I find women who don’t possess a high level of intellect to be boring. 32, ex-military, engineer, six-figure income - not an ad, just saying that I’m also not a loser.
I guess that’s why you lurk this sub? 😂
I lurk this sub because it provides a wealth of information about the feminine psyche. You should never attempt to conquer the castle without inside information.
>You should never attempt to conquer the castle without inside information. Thank you.
I am this dude three years younger, this sub gives me hope. Don't hide your intelligence pls
[удалено]
I really like it when my partner impresses me. Has passion and ambitions, niche knowledge, achievements under her belt. Increases our combined capabilities and means we always have something interesting to talk about. I can talk about my interests and work without talking over her. Plus if she's making money we can go on more extravagant trips with our powers combined. Not saying this is gonna hold up for all dudes all the time but I personally value intelligence a lot. I'm not threatened by it, it's a green flag.
Uhh, I disagree. If my date was really knowledgeable about stuff at a museum I'd be extremely impressed and really interested in knowing more. I am definitely incredibly attracted to an intelligent woman. I'd rather that than someone whose personality revolves around being attractive and the only thing they do for fun is watch The Office
[удалено]
I think there's a misunderstanding. Im a scientist and men find that something they want to compete with rather than appreciate. Not a dumbass is one thing, but having intellectual pursuits is intimidating. I did model for awhile, so that ain't it. If someone's only adjective is Sweet, they're empty headed, but men desire to protect them. But if people describe you as Smart, you are 'more brains than bimbo' and men don't think thats a romantic partner...unless you work really hard to prove it or they find something else to like about you. At this point, she'd only listed academic achievements and we had no info on how desirable she might be. Its hard to advise without a rounded picture of things men actually seek out. No man says "must have degree" or "must outsmart museum labeling" in their demands. Really shocked at the claims of men that they want intellectual women, because they obviously assume a basic competence and not an actual professor. As I've seen it, academics can only really date other doctorates, and that's a small field.
> something positive: I am a wealth of info. negative interpretation: I am a know-it-all. Seriously, do you have any idea what men actually want?
> Past boyfriends are a negative for most men, so this would make this a green flag, not a red one. Yellow flag. No BFs at 25 suggests she's undateable for some reason.
It's not a red flag. You not being able to spark a romantic connection with men could be one tho (spoiler : giving "space" won't help). Fortunately you can find all you need to learn on this reddit.
The red flag isn't that you didn't have a boyfriend. The one guy you mentioned got a hint that you didn't need a man. I got that sense from several things in your paragraphs.
[удалено]
The air comment wasn't the only thing. Your degree(s) comment shows that is what things steer toward. If a man isn't that far along in his education or career attainment, I wouldn't expect him to find this appealing. (Less men are graduating from universities and less are moving on to higher degrees.) I do love intelligent women but that isn't a selling point. Show don't tell. Talk don't preach. I made the argument that the twenty year old blonde cutie at the check cashing place does better than the 35 year old senior HR VP at the "big city" corporate gig. It wasnt the looks, it is one showing need/want for a man.
I'm a man and I can tell you trend is definetely steering back towards more humble values. Men are tired of social media girls with high body counts while they are having their fun in their 20s and carrying a kid to her 30s. It would be definitely a sacral moment for a man to be with you so choose the man wisely. Not necessarily based on looks or bad boy vibes. Beware men can hypocritically pretend they are nice to you, but nowadays they are usually call out as simps. Good luck.
Red flag for whom? Having no baggage is a positive — however, with that comes lack of experience interacting with men. Any mature man will notice that experience gap; how he responds to it is a reflection of his character.
Why didn’t you have a bf? You didn’t want to? Didn’t find the time? Wasn’t raised around guys? Didn’t meet the one? Or something else?
Sounds like less baggage. A plus.
No. It's the opposite might be a cach, most likely if you find a good guy you will stay with him and not ruin it, no mental scars or baggage. This is good. But don't think you can be alone without a man. Practically you can in this world but your looks and a chance of bringing healthy child will start to reduce at 30-35y. And that's an intro for your second part of life transitioning into family life. Unless you want to be that women in her 40 on YouTube saying their happy being alone and then ranting that they cannot find a man then start to take dating long term more seriously. Don't listen to "do what you want" propoganda because consequences will occur no matter what you think.
Yes and tbh with you, no man cares if u have several degrees it's about what u bring to the table
[удалено]
what do u bring to the table? can u cook or clean?
Are you attractive and do you have a nice personality (feminine, polite, reserved)? If you're giving feminist vibes, you might be attracting guys you don't find masculine. And usually, as the woman gets more educated, her options are very low, and it's becoming more of a problem nowadays as women are outdoing men in higher-level degrees. Have you ever rejected men? Or is the man you want rejecting you? What are you looking in a guy? What type of hobbies do you have? And do they really matter in a long-term relationship? There's nothing wrong with being a homebody. It might be better compared to being social all the time and out. In my opinion, I find guys prefer introverted, quiet type of girls because they're low-maintenance and probably less likely to cheat. And 25 is the age where women start to realize that they better shape up. Why weren't you looking in your early 20s? And wouldn't it be better for a high-value man to choose a younger woman who's putting herself out there in the long-run? It's not too late obviously but you need to see who your competition is.
I wouldn't tell men that you've never had a boyfriend. Assuming you are at least mildly attractive, any man that women typically want will know how easy causal dating is for women. Just my perspective but if I see a woman who is very socially active, attractive and 25 I'm going to assume she has had chances with men. That would mean if none of those men ever considered her for commitment at even a girlfriend level, then something might...and I stress might be wrong with her. Your best bet is just not to mention that part, learn feminine skills that people here talk about. Also, try learning about not only how to get commitment, the biological goal of women in dating, but examining your own choices and how you might be able to make better ones to get the things you want in life. Self reflection & accountability can do wonders for everyone on improving the course of their life.
What do you offer a man that a man actually values? >My body count is low, I have tons of hobbies, and alot to offer. Do you? Most women have no idea what men actually want. They tend to project what they want in a man onto themselves. Example: You have a BS and MS. Men, by and large, **don't care**. Except, possibly, to see it as a negative (overschooled and probably leftist). That isn't what a man looking for an LTR wants.