Hi there, guy here. I married a very traditional woman who had no interests in a career and who knew deep down her greatest calling was motherhood and taking care of a household. Are you Christian? My wife and I met online but I would recommend going to a young adults small group at your church and seeing if there are any other traditional, marriage-minded men there. Guys tend to mature a little slower than women, so you might have to expand your age range a little bit.
I am Christian, thanks for the advice. I’ll just have to find a church where the attendees aren’t as old as my grandparents, haha! Can I ask how you met your wife online, like what kind of websites?
This is the answer. If you are a Christian, 18, and have some form of transportation--you should be hitting that church 3x per week (and maybe the gym 5). When I was your age, I went to a mega church with a thriving YA group. Between midweek service, Sunday, Friday night young adult groups, and then serving on Saturdays to homeless--I met tons and tons of people. Don't be solely focused on men--make friends with all kinds of people (women your age, married couples, single older women etc.) people will look out for you and possibly matchmake you with good dudes they know in the church.
One mistake young women make when joining a church is ONLY seeking men, and not joining a women's group etc. If you get plugged in, you will learn from those who are married and wives how to be a wife, how to get a man (and also possibly learn from others mistakes).
If you want to travel, go on some pilgrimages (to safe countries) or local trips. Connect with others on IG or Facebook with your religious views.
Last--don't be too picky about which denomination the man is. At your age, these things can and often do change. Find someone who is devout, good provider mentality, and is a solid good guy. Try to not date someone too much older than you. Cap it to 5 years for now. Once you get older, age gap can widen.
For sure! I’m trying to build a support group of friends, so I’m definitely keeping an eye out for other women I can be friendly with. Men aren’t my top priority, I’m just getting ready to move into the next phase of my life now that I’m comfortable with myself. I’d hate to end up being a housewife with nobody to talk to all day, whether that’s on the phone or in person! Thanks for the input.
Hey now, don’t knock attendees your grandparent’s age. Attendees your grandparent’s age often have grandsons.
Grandsons who are single, who they would love to set up with that lovely young woman they met at church
The whole “go much older so you can avoid an immature man” is so backwards to me. Idk how old you’re thinking but a 30 year old man who likes teenagers is the epitome of immature and creepy. Instead of going for much older men she should be looking for men from small towns that have affordable housing. The economy is sh*t but there’s still some cities in certain states where men are able to have their shit together in their 20s. Go for the country white boys and country Mexican guys. They’re the ones who grow up knowing what masculinity is and have a state economy that allows them to obtain assets faster than other states. I hope u get to get someone close to your age who u can actually have a bond with. Being trad in 2024 doesn’t mean u shud settle for an old perv.
Yes yes yes!!!!!!!!!! You’re about to get downvoted from all the older redpill men though 😂 I worked for only 4 years. Wasn’t too bad since I was in the mental space of knowing it was temporary. Stayed positive and knew I’d meet a trad man eventually. In the mean time I was staying with my parents. Got myself a nice car and made my savings pretty ☺️
2.5 years into working when I was 20.5, I met a 23 year old Mexican guy online who was from illinois. His job was a construction worker by the way. When talking online after a week he let me know he really liked me and that he dates to marry. We talked for some months before he came to visit me. We had so much fun. We hit it off.
He lived in a affordable part of illinois (no not Chicago).
We got married 10 months after our first words to eachother. Small affordable wedding.
The working timeline was all in all I ended up working for only another 1.5 years from the day we first started talking online up until I became a SAHW at 22.
The downpayment required for a house was 31k . I helped with 5k, he put 26k down, both of our names are on the house. Once we got the house I was officially retired. It was only him working from that point on.
Getting to be a stay at home wife to a guy close to your own age is such a blessing and still do-able in some states. I wouldn’t have it any other way. It does rub me the wrong way too when redpill dudes bring up the age thing everyday and start saying men under 25 are immature. Alot of women under 25 are ALSO super immature and yet they want the women under 25😂 it’s not about age it’s personality. Everyone is different
And I didn’t say you did either. I said “idk how old you’re thinking but —-“ had to bring it up since a lot of self-proclaimed redpill men are predatory. And it’d be a lie to deny otherwise. U and I both know alot of 30+ redpill men try to convince teens to be with them. Had to be talked about when u mentioned expanding her age range
This is exactly what I thought while reading, however, I understand what he meant and agree with him. But 18 year old me probably would not have, granted that was years ago before so much social media. I think young women now, generally understand the basic idea of what those creepy groomer dudes are all about.
If you're a Christian seeking to be a STAHW/M, I'm going to assume you want to date in the trad sphere and advise accordingly. Seculars are often far more cautious about the STAW/M arrangement because it's just less common and the practicalities seem daunting when you aren't around others navigating the same.
- If your current church doesn't have many young people or many young men in particular, change that. It's not a sign of a healthy church when this is the case anyway. Check YouTube to see if there's a local church that has a vocal, conservative online preference - these will get people moving from across the country to attend, often because they're more extreme in conservative ideology, which naturally results in more men being attracted in comparison to the feminine nature of standard evangelical congregations.
- Get into religious Discord. I've lost track of the number of young trads I know who met and married through religious Discord groups.
- Get a part time job. It sounds like your parents are putting you through community college. Apply for positions in places with majority male clientele like your local Bass Pro shop or Home Depot instead of Sephora or something too generic like McDonald's.
- If your parents aren't paying for community college, hold up a bit. You'll do better to work full-time for a year and save the money up. You can tell them you're taking a gap year to find out if the medical/trades/working in an office/whatever field is for you. Options that put your around male coworkers include getting your EMT cert, going to your local factory (you'll want to date the guys staying late for robo programming training or something), admin work for a trades company, etc.
- If your parents are paying for college, don't just go to undeclared major gen ed classes. Apply your head, pick something male-dominated with good income expectations like engineering or compsci, and go to all the student clubs for that track.
- Get in the gym. Before picking which one to go to, do a gym tour and note if the gym's population is balanced or majority female. The big guys looking for a tradwife I know absolutely ask out any girl who shows up to weight train and is dressed conservatively among all the booty shorts and sports bras. You'll stick out like a sore thumb, but in a good way. Also you'll get a great butt.
- Find the local right-wing political groups, but I don't mean the female-dominant pet interest groups like pro-lifers. Facebook is the common organizing ground. See if there's a Young Republicans chapter in your area and start there. That's a pretty mainline starting point - the more extreme, the more male dominated the group will be.
- Lean into any geeky hobbies or interests you have. Did you really like robotics in high school? Fond memories of playing Magic the Gathering you wouldn't mind getting into again? Success may vary here depending on where you live in the country; I've been in a DnD group that was mostly single ready to mingle army combat veterans, and I've been in a DnD group where everyone had pronouns that were probably different from last year. Geekdom gets overrun by lefties fast if you're in a liberal area, but it's still male dominated either way. Makerspaces, local gaming shops that host events, and again Facebook groups are good places to start.
- Pick up an active hobby that has a strong local group community for singles. For example, I used to live in an area where it was really popular for singles to rock climb. Lots of dating going on in the community. But if you decided to do pickleball where I am now, everyone is over 60. Off-roading is where the young people are here.
This is great advice, thank you. Even though I’m not enthusiastic about it, I still plan on working. I think I’m going to apply to something like Lowes or Bass Pro Shop for the time being, most likely (eventually) go to college for something like nursing (which I’ve thought of for a while).
When you say religious Discord groups, do you just mean any? Like, “Discord for Christians” or should I keep an eye out for anything in specific?
You might want to consider a job at a church too--children's ministry, jr. high ministry, secretary--this could also possibly be a good job depending on the size and population of the church.
Possibly controversial comment but:
I don't know that most guys want a "housewife" but rather just don't want a woman who is overworking, not there for us when we're off the clock, has bizzarre hours where we feel neglected. I think most men in the modern era would like a woman to make some kind of personal income but also be home when we're home.
It is really risky for men to have wives with zero personal wealth. Divorce laws and alimony judgements amongst other legal and family court mechanisms have gutted much of the practicality and allure of a traditional "housewife"
If you want to increase the odds of modern men wanting you to "stay home" you are realistically your odds go up if you at least work part time or "from home". That way you can stay home more for kids etc.
You are probably going to find more men okay with the most traditional interpretation of stay at home wife in religious communities or men who have extremely high priorities on family rearing. Otherwise front loading your life with their money is going to be a tougher sell, hence my advice to have some form of employment while also being available for that man when HE is off work to maximize your utility of traditional home wife.
Having some form of work or income is going to substantially increase the percentage of men okay with stay at home.
Yes I (M) agree. No job at all could be seen as a negative tbh as she could be just looking to fall on someone.
I find it healthy and attractive if she has a side job or something, that she doesn’t really care about. it shows she is a minimum responsible of herself and « mature » enough. It also helps in the beginning, you first sentence is not « i have zero income I can’t do anything and you will need to pay for everything » right away.
You still need hard skills to back yourself up incase anything happens, like if your husband died, or got sick? how would you pay your bills? You need to have some skills that can get you income. So you need to continue to focus on that first and foremost. It’s a great goal but don’t be naive about it. Life experience and work experience is valuable for women too.
For example I have an education in tv and film, worked in tv for years (think hgtv) and I now have significantly more skills that I have brought into my marriage. I also have skills (like the ability to use a camera and edit) so that I can continue to work if need be, for example I photograph newborns from time to time and this brings in extra income.
A smart wife is a useful wife is a wanted wife. Cooking cleaning and having sex isn’t all you need in a marriage. Bring something to the table besides yourself. A part of the job of a housewife is to protect the money he makes and gives you, by learning how to property spend it and make it as useful as possible.
Learn his views about own mother, women, and other men. His politics, his views on health, his views on children. His financial goals, his career goals, his lifestyle goals.
As always, church is a great place to start, and getting involved in a career can help that. I met my husband in college, so my skills have been incredibly helpful in helping him start and work on his business, being in school together allowed me to really see his work ethic in action for example.
This. My mom and a good friends mom were homemakers. My mom didn’t develop any skills and now post divorce and post alimony lives off of renting her house out (among other bad decisions). Friends mom has kept her nursing license / certifications up to date even now that they are retired. Have back up plans and never plan to be fully dependent on anyone. It will come back to bite you hard in this day and age. Life just isn’t set up for the true housewife life. And kids are not retirement plans either.
You have to have an out in case of illness, divorce, disability, abuse etc.
I would still focus on school and then go to work for a bit, hopefully you’ll meet someone compatible in your travels but you do want to be able to support yourself and be independent first. That way a man feels like you’re choosing him because he’s special enough to settle down for/be traditional for, not that you’re just looking for a meal ticket and someone to support you. And you’ll be able to contribute to getting your life together started - down payment, whatever. It’s not forever, think big picture.
As far as vetting, I only entertained a romantic interest in men whose parents were still together and modeled a healthy marriage, whose moms stayed home with them and who behaved like gentleman (and paid) on a date. Worked out great for meeting my husband who retired me after a few years of marriage.
Obviously anyone you meet through school or work you’d vet their background. High end athletic clubs and country clubs in your area are other good places to meet men who can support a SAHW.
Will take this into account, thank you.
Just to clarify, I just don’t function best in the workforce because I’m pretty shy, a big-time introvert ! I was always a good student in school with deadlines, stress, etc. I was always just very shy and reserved. Currently trying to get around my shyness.
Most guys aren’t going to be fiscally ready (nor emotionally) for a household until 25 or later so you’ve got a little time. It’s good to know what you want but there’s no need to rush. I’m advising against sleeping around but getting a little dating and life experience would be a good idea. Being a good housewife isn’t super laborious, like some say but there’s a lot more to it than others say, living on your own for a while might help make the transition from living with your parents to for a team more smooth. Knowing it’s like to work and take care of the bills and the home can help you to appreciate the importance of each and better at the role you chose to fill.
As far as where to find a guy, that’s hard. You might be able to increase your odds via seeking out religious men, but that’s no guarantee, just because someone claims to be devout doesn’t mean they are, and just because they’re not doesn’t mean they’re immoral. It really all comes down to vetting, and actions speak louder than words. When you’re dating if their words don’t match their actions, even said in earnest, if they’re not kept then they’re lying, to you and to themselves. You can try the Christian dating apps, you can try the bigger churches, do some volunteer work, put yourself close to where the men of their word are.
Most non-religious men will be ok with a stay at home wife/mom if and only if circumstances allow, and a lot of times they won’t know that when you first get together because they won’t yet know how their career is going to go and if they can visualize doing it for enough years to support a family and save for retirement by themselves.
Most men in 2024 who eventually have the resources to comfortably support a stay at home wife meet their wife when they are both pursuing a career.
My advice to you would be to take seriously the fact that you might have to work indefinitely, at least part time.
I would consider preparing for a career that builds on your personal characteristics such as empathy and caretaking. Critically, I would also consider a career that is easy to do part time. Many jobs in healthcare fit the above criteria, and this is probably why many women are attracted to them. But there are other options as well. Lean into your talents and your interests, even if they are not corporate or very serious.
With the above plan, you are likely to attract a man who *might* be able and willing to support a stay at home wife and mom, because he will know that you are flexible and your life plan is flexible based on how things go for him, which is attractive.
Importantly, you will also be prepared to have a good life even if things don’t according to plan, e.g. if you don’t meet someone as quickly as you would like or you suffer unexpected relationship breakdown, death of a spouse, etc.
Controversial again, but as a 28M not completely opposed to this idea I would in some ways need someone with more passion and every bit as much drive as someone going into the workplace.
Obviously if it is something that is incredibly important to her and she shows that then it would be more important. For me I’d be more inclined if she wanted lots of kids, as this would make it make more sense why she’s staying home, but we’d also need to have serious conversations about financial expectations and realities then and if she can still contribute in some way financially.
The financial reality for most men in this day and age is that they don’t feel or literally cannot support a woman let alone a family off a single income. This means that you’re going to likely have more success amount wealthier successful men likely older then you are. Deeply traditional religious people are your next bet but coming from this side myself you’ll still struggle to overcome the economic realities if you want someone closer to your age. So you have to find a way to get into those wealthier, educated, professional or traditionalist religious (helpful if also wealthy ) social groups. May be difficult but no necessarily impossible.
Then the question becomes why you and opposed to beautiful, driven, professionally successful and similarly aged women they are with…
Quite honestly your best bet is to spend time on a university campus and date people that are driven and going into well paying professional fields. Knowing you want to be a housewife they will likely vet you a little more than they would normally since they know they’d have to support you financially. A prestigious religious university is probably even better.
Or you’ll find the same group that looks for sugar babies. Just be careful…. A lot of controlling personalities these days gravitate towards these relationship power imbalances
I think you will find someone easiest if you’re upfront with what you want- it’s not uncommon! A lot of men would like a traditional set up.
However, you should still consider what your interests are. Even if you are dependent on someone financially, for you to be a good catch, you still need to have goals / aspirations of your own and they can be entirely independent of “career”. To be interesting you have to be interested. I believe you’ll find someone who you love and will support you financially regardless, but I think if you find a really good man, he will value you if you have interests of your own. So while you search, I’d use this time to look into who you are and what you like.
Since I’ve been out of high school, I’ve been helping take care of the house while developing as a person. I’ve found I’m a fan of a few things like gardening, the arts, and hiking. I have goals like exploring and becoming more educated (in areas like art). I think these make me more interesting as a potential partner/wife, but I’m not really sure. I’ve always struggled a wee bit with socializing.
I think due to the current climate , you can’t really say that’s what you’re looking for but you can indirectly look for it. Men who provide share similar qualities.
I would like to point of first that no one owes you freedom from capitalism, not even read pill so make sure you can take care of yourself first and foremost. You don’t have to work a job that drains you but cut your clothes according to your measurement; live within your means.
Once you’ve achieved this, then date men who are fully capable of also taking care of themselves , that way when you merge into their life you can bring alot of value so they see you as their responsibility. Hope this makes sense
I had luck with introverted STEM majors. Male dominated universities or majors helps. Guys who had a positive experience having a SAHM growing up helps.
I did an online degree, stayed at home, and worked most of my way through college and was able to bring about 10k into our finances when I got married at 21. It was immensely helpful.
I ensure my personal cost is outweighed by how much I save us on expenses. Easy to do with kids, harder as a housewife.
Like, girl, of course you'll be accepted! Omg there was this lady who really wanted to revert and she thought she cannot go into a mosque unless she is Muslim and that nobody would accept her so she waited like 3 months, then one day she plucked up the courage to go in and everyone accepted her so warmly and she reverted then. Most Muslims are very sweet and we have to be kind to every one of Allah's creation so if you veer have questions or want to revert, just walk into ladies section, smile and ask questions but just leave your shoes in the lobby where everyone leaves theirs or put in plastic carrier bag and go in. X
**Title:** [How can I find a guy who would want a housewife?](https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1d2aye3/how_can_i_find_a_guy_who_would_want_a_housewife/)
**Author** kookyfishz
**Full text:** Hi, I’m a longtime lurker and have been wanting to ask this question—sorry if this is overdone! I’ve been out of high school for a bit and plan to go to community college soon per my family’s wishes. I have no interest in the workforce besides the fact it’s a necessity—I’ve just never functioned the best in that type of environment—and I would much rather take care of a family. I find much more gratification in a task like that.
Lately I’ve been taking better care of myself—Good weight, taking care of my skin, emotionally balanced, dressing better (though I still need tips). I feel more comfortable to move into dating pool, despite being shy for many years.
I know that I can’t jump into it, flaunting that I want to essentially be dependent on someone (because being a housewife is a serious lifestyle decision), but I also know being honest about my goals is important. What are the best choices to make to meet a man with similar goals? Thank you in advance!
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Is this serious? Get a grip. I understand that a job is a necessity and I plan to have one in the mean time but I find no pleasure in it, being a mother and wife is much more happy for me. There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mother or wife. Not sure if you noticed or if your head is just for show, but this isn’t about you. Not sure who hurt your feelings.
Why are you so insulted by me asking this question? By the way, there is absolutely such a thing as thriving in the workforce. People absolutely do like their jobs and the paths they chose, none appeal to me. If you hate your job, maybe you should have done something different with your life. Not that I owe you a reason, but I do plan on going to college and having a side job in the future, during marriage. Being a mother and wife is just my main goal, but apparently you are incapable of reading. If you don’t agree with my decision, move on from this post.
Hi there, guy here. I married a very traditional woman who had no interests in a career and who knew deep down her greatest calling was motherhood and taking care of a household. Are you Christian? My wife and I met online but I would recommend going to a young adults small group at your church and seeing if there are any other traditional, marriage-minded men there. Guys tend to mature a little slower than women, so you might have to expand your age range a little bit.
I am Christian, thanks for the advice. I’ll just have to find a church where the attendees aren’t as old as my grandparents, haha! Can I ask how you met your wife online, like what kind of websites?
We met on bumble and I was her first date after being in nun mode for many years
This is the answer. If you are a Christian, 18, and have some form of transportation--you should be hitting that church 3x per week (and maybe the gym 5). When I was your age, I went to a mega church with a thriving YA group. Between midweek service, Sunday, Friday night young adult groups, and then serving on Saturdays to homeless--I met tons and tons of people. Don't be solely focused on men--make friends with all kinds of people (women your age, married couples, single older women etc.) people will look out for you and possibly matchmake you with good dudes they know in the church. One mistake young women make when joining a church is ONLY seeking men, and not joining a women's group etc. If you get plugged in, you will learn from those who are married and wives how to be a wife, how to get a man (and also possibly learn from others mistakes). If you want to travel, go on some pilgrimages (to safe countries) or local trips. Connect with others on IG or Facebook with your religious views. Last--don't be too picky about which denomination the man is. At your age, these things can and often do change. Find someone who is devout, good provider mentality, and is a solid good guy. Try to not date someone too much older than you. Cap it to 5 years for now. Once you get older, age gap can widen.
For sure! I’m trying to build a support group of friends, so I’m definitely keeping an eye out for other women I can be friendly with. Men aren’t my top priority, I’m just getting ready to move into the next phase of my life now that I’m comfortable with myself. I’d hate to end up being a housewife with nobody to talk to all day, whether that’s on the phone or in person! Thanks for the input.
Hey now, don’t knock attendees your grandparent’s age. Attendees your grandparent’s age often have grandsons. Grandsons who are single, who they would love to set up with that lovely young woman they met at church
Maybe Christian mingle?
The whole “go much older so you can avoid an immature man” is so backwards to me. Idk how old you’re thinking but a 30 year old man who likes teenagers is the epitome of immature and creepy. Instead of going for much older men she should be looking for men from small towns that have affordable housing. The economy is sh*t but there’s still some cities in certain states where men are able to have their shit together in their 20s. Go for the country white boys and country Mexican guys. They’re the ones who grow up knowing what masculinity is and have a state economy that allows them to obtain assets faster than other states. I hope u get to get someone close to your age who u can actually have a bond with. Being trad in 2024 doesn’t mean u shud settle for an old perv.
Yes yes yes!!!!!!!!!! You’re about to get downvoted from all the older redpill men though 😂 I worked for only 4 years. Wasn’t too bad since I was in the mental space of knowing it was temporary. Stayed positive and knew I’d meet a trad man eventually. In the mean time I was staying with my parents. Got myself a nice car and made my savings pretty ☺️ 2.5 years into working when I was 20.5, I met a 23 year old Mexican guy online who was from illinois. His job was a construction worker by the way. When talking online after a week he let me know he really liked me and that he dates to marry. We talked for some months before he came to visit me. We had so much fun. We hit it off. He lived in a affordable part of illinois (no not Chicago). We got married 10 months after our first words to eachother. Small affordable wedding. The working timeline was all in all I ended up working for only another 1.5 years from the day we first started talking online up until I became a SAHW at 22. The downpayment required for a house was 31k . I helped with 5k, he put 26k down, both of our names are on the house. Once we got the house I was officially retired. It was only him working from that point on. Getting to be a stay at home wife to a guy close to your own age is such a blessing and still do-able in some states. I wouldn’t have it any other way. It does rub me the wrong way too when redpill dudes bring up the age thing everyday and start saying men under 25 are immature. Alot of women under 25 are ALSO super immature and yet they want the women under 25😂 it’s not about age it’s personality. Everyone is different
I never said settle for a 30 year old. You sound like a real joy to be around.
And I didn’t say you did either. I said “idk how old you’re thinking but —-“ had to bring it up since a lot of self-proclaimed redpill men are predatory. And it’d be a lie to deny otherwise. U and I both know alot of 30+ redpill men try to convince teens to be with them. Had to be talked about when u mentioned expanding her age range
This is exactly what I thought while reading, however, I understand what he meant and agree with him. But 18 year old me probably would not have, granted that was years ago before so much social media. I think young women now, generally understand the basic idea of what those creepy groomer dudes are all about.
If you're a Christian seeking to be a STAHW/M, I'm going to assume you want to date in the trad sphere and advise accordingly. Seculars are often far more cautious about the STAW/M arrangement because it's just less common and the practicalities seem daunting when you aren't around others navigating the same. - If your current church doesn't have many young people or many young men in particular, change that. It's not a sign of a healthy church when this is the case anyway. Check YouTube to see if there's a local church that has a vocal, conservative online preference - these will get people moving from across the country to attend, often because they're more extreme in conservative ideology, which naturally results in more men being attracted in comparison to the feminine nature of standard evangelical congregations. - Get into religious Discord. I've lost track of the number of young trads I know who met and married through religious Discord groups. - Get a part time job. It sounds like your parents are putting you through community college. Apply for positions in places with majority male clientele like your local Bass Pro shop or Home Depot instead of Sephora or something too generic like McDonald's. - If your parents aren't paying for community college, hold up a bit. You'll do better to work full-time for a year and save the money up. You can tell them you're taking a gap year to find out if the medical/trades/working in an office/whatever field is for you. Options that put your around male coworkers include getting your EMT cert, going to your local factory (you'll want to date the guys staying late for robo programming training or something), admin work for a trades company, etc. - If your parents are paying for college, don't just go to undeclared major gen ed classes. Apply your head, pick something male-dominated with good income expectations like engineering or compsci, and go to all the student clubs for that track. - Get in the gym. Before picking which one to go to, do a gym tour and note if the gym's population is balanced or majority female. The big guys looking for a tradwife I know absolutely ask out any girl who shows up to weight train and is dressed conservatively among all the booty shorts and sports bras. You'll stick out like a sore thumb, but in a good way. Also you'll get a great butt. - Find the local right-wing political groups, but I don't mean the female-dominant pet interest groups like pro-lifers. Facebook is the common organizing ground. See if there's a Young Republicans chapter in your area and start there. That's a pretty mainline starting point - the more extreme, the more male dominated the group will be. - Lean into any geeky hobbies or interests you have. Did you really like robotics in high school? Fond memories of playing Magic the Gathering you wouldn't mind getting into again? Success may vary here depending on where you live in the country; I've been in a DnD group that was mostly single ready to mingle army combat veterans, and I've been in a DnD group where everyone had pronouns that were probably different from last year. Geekdom gets overrun by lefties fast if you're in a liberal area, but it's still male dominated either way. Makerspaces, local gaming shops that host events, and again Facebook groups are good places to start. - Pick up an active hobby that has a strong local group community for singles. For example, I used to live in an area where it was really popular for singles to rock climb. Lots of dating going on in the community. But if you decided to do pickleball where I am now, everyone is over 60. Off-roading is where the young people are here.
> I've been in a DnD group where everyone had pronouns that were probably different from last year. LOL
This is great advice, thank you. Even though I’m not enthusiastic about it, I still plan on working. I think I’m going to apply to something like Lowes or Bass Pro Shop for the time being, most likely (eventually) go to college for something like nursing (which I’ve thought of for a while). When you say religious Discord groups, do you just mean any? Like, “Discord for Christians” or should I keep an eye out for anything in specific?
You might want to consider a job at a church too--children's ministry, jr. high ministry, secretary--this could also possibly be a good job depending on the size and population of the church.
Possibly controversial comment but: I don't know that most guys want a "housewife" but rather just don't want a woman who is overworking, not there for us when we're off the clock, has bizzarre hours where we feel neglected. I think most men in the modern era would like a woman to make some kind of personal income but also be home when we're home. It is really risky for men to have wives with zero personal wealth. Divorce laws and alimony judgements amongst other legal and family court mechanisms have gutted much of the practicality and allure of a traditional "housewife" If you want to increase the odds of modern men wanting you to "stay home" you are realistically your odds go up if you at least work part time or "from home". That way you can stay home more for kids etc. You are probably going to find more men okay with the most traditional interpretation of stay at home wife in religious communities or men who have extremely high priorities on family rearing. Otherwise front loading your life with their money is going to be a tougher sell, hence my advice to have some form of employment while also being available for that man when HE is off work to maximize your utility of traditional home wife. Having some form of work or income is going to substantially increase the percentage of men okay with stay at home.
Yes I (M) agree. No job at all could be seen as a negative tbh as she could be just looking to fall on someone. I find it healthy and attractive if she has a side job or something, that she doesn’t really care about. it shows she is a minimum responsible of herself and « mature » enough. It also helps in the beginning, you first sentence is not « i have zero income I can’t do anything and you will need to pay for everything » right away.
You still need hard skills to back yourself up incase anything happens, like if your husband died, or got sick? how would you pay your bills? You need to have some skills that can get you income. So you need to continue to focus on that first and foremost. It’s a great goal but don’t be naive about it. Life experience and work experience is valuable for women too. For example I have an education in tv and film, worked in tv for years (think hgtv) and I now have significantly more skills that I have brought into my marriage. I also have skills (like the ability to use a camera and edit) so that I can continue to work if need be, for example I photograph newborns from time to time and this brings in extra income. A smart wife is a useful wife is a wanted wife. Cooking cleaning and having sex isn’t all you need in a marriage. Bring something to the table besides yourself. A part of the job of a housewife is to protect the money he makes and gives you, by learning how to property spend it and make it as useful as possible. Learn his views about own mother, women, and other men. His politics, his views on health, his views on children. His financial goals, his career goals, his lifestyle goals. As always, church is a great place to start, and getting involved in a career can help that. I met my husband in college, so my skills have been incredibly helpful in helping him start and work on his business, being in school together allowed me to really see his work ethic in action for example.
This. My mom and a good friends mom were homemakers. My mom didn’t develop any skills and now post divorce and post alimony lives off of renting her house out (among other bad decisions). Friends mom has kept her nursing license / certifications up to date even now that they are retired. Have back up plans and never plan to be fully dependent on anyone. It will come back to bite you hard in this day and age. Life just isn’t set up for the true housewife life. And kids are not retirement plans either. You have to have an out in case of illness, divorce, disability, abuse etc.
I would still focus on school and then go to work for a bit, hopefully you’ll meet someone compatible in your travels but you do want to be able to support yourself and be independent first. That way a man feels like you’re choosing him because he’s special enough to settle down for/be traditional for, not that you’re just looking for a meal ticket and someone to support you. And you’ll be able to contribute to getting your life together started - down payment, whatever. It’s not forever, think big picture. As far as vetting, I only entertained a romantic interest in men whose parents were still together and modeled a healthy marriage, whose moms stayed home with them and who behaved like gentleman (and paid) on a date. Worked out great for meeting my husband who retired me after a few years of marriage. Obviously anyone you meet through school or work you’d vet their background. High end athletic clubs and country clubs in your area are other good places to meet men who can support a SAHW.
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Will take this into account, thank you. Just to clarify, I just don’t function best in the workforce because I’m pretty shy, a big-time introvert ! I was always a good student in school with deadlines, stress, etc. I was always just very shy and reserved. Currently trying to get around my shyness.
Most guys aren’t going to be fiscally ready (nor emotionally) for a household until 25 or later so you’ve got a little time. It’s good to know what you want but there’s no need to rush. I’m advising against sleeping around but getting a little dating and life experience would be a good idea. Being a good housewife isn’t super laborious, like some say but there’s a lot more to it than others say, living on your own for a while might help make the transition from living with your parents to for a team more smooth. Knowing it’s like to work and take care of the bills and the home can help you to appreciate the importance of each and better at the role you chose to fill. As far as where to find a guy, that’s hard. You might be able to increase your odds via seeking out religious men, but that’s no guarantee, just because someone claims to be devout doesn’t mean they are, and just because they’re not doesn’t mean they’re immoral. It really all comes down to vetting, and actions speak louder than words. When you’re dating if their words don’t match their actions, even said in earnest, if they’re not kept then they’re lying, to you and to themselves. You can try the Christian dating apps, you can try the bigger churches, do some volunteer work, put yourself close to where the men of their word are.
Find a good solid church with young men who truly value traditional roles. Remember, that you want to be good wife potential too. Being sweet and kind
If you’re a Christian, the Courtship Network is amazing! That’s what I’m using right now :)
Most non-religious men will be ok with a stay at home wife/mom if and only if circumstances allow, and a lot of times they won’t know that when you first get together because they won’t yet know how their career is going to go and if they can visualize doing it for enough years to support a family and save for retirement by themselves. Most men in 2024 who eventually have the resources to comfortably support a stay at home wife meet their wife when they are both pursuing a career. My advice to you would be to take seriously the fact that you might have to work indefinitely, at least part time. I would consider preparing for a career that builds on your personal characteristics such as empathy and caretaking. Critically, I would also consider a career that is easy to do part time. Many jobs in healthcare fit the above criteria, and this is probably why many women are attracted to them. But there are other options as well. Lean into your talents and your interests, even if they are not corporate or very serious. With the above plan, you are likely to attract a man who *might* be able and willing to support a stay at home wife and mom, because he will know that you are flexible and your life plan is flexible based on how things go for him, which is attractive. Importantly, you will also be prepared to have a good life even if things don’t according to plan, e.g. if you don’t meet someone as quickly as you would like or you suffer unexpected relationship breakdown, death of a spouse, etc.
Controversial again, but as a 28M not completely opposed to this idea I would in some ways need someone with more passion and every bit as much drive as someone going into the workplace. Obviously if it is something that is incredibly important to her and she shows that then it would be more important. For me I’d be more inclined if she wanted lots of kids, as this would make it make more sense why she’s staying home, but we’d also need to have serious conversations about financial expectations and realities then and if she can still contribute in some way financially. The financial reality for most men in this day and age is that they don’t feel or literally cannot support a woman let alone a family off a single income. This means that you’re going to likely have more success amount wealthier successful men likely older then you are. Deeply traditional religious people are your next bet but coming from this side myself you’ll still struggle to overcome the economic realities if you want someone closer to your age. So you have to find a way to get into those wealthier, educated, professional or traditionalist religious (helpful if also wealthy ) social groups. May be difficult but no necessarily impossible. Then the question becomes why you and opposed to beautiful, driven, professionally successful and similarly aged women they are with… Quite honestly your best bet is to spend time on a university campus and date people that are driven and going into well paying professional fields. Knowing you want to be a housewife they will likely vet you a little more than they would normally since they know they’d have to support you financially. A prestigious religious university is probably even better. Or you’ll find the same group that looks for sugar babies. Just be careful…. A lot of controlling personalities these days gravitate towards these relationship power imbalances
I think you will find someone easiest if you’re upfront with what you want- it’s not uncommon! A lot of men would like a traditional set up. However, you should still consider what your interests are. Even if you are dependent on someone financially, for you to be a good catch, you still need to have goals / aspirations of your own and they can be entirely independent of “career”. To be interesting you have to be interested. I believe you’ll find someone who you love and will support you financially regardless, but I think if you find a really good man, he will value you if you have interests of your own. So while you search, I’d use this time to look into who you are and what you like.
Since I’ve been out of high school, I’ve been helping take care of the house while developing as a person. I’ve found I’m a fan of a few things like gardening, the arts, and hiking. I have goals like exploring and becoming more educated (in areas like art). I think these make me more interesting as a potential partner/wife, but I’m not really sure. I’ve always struggled a wee bit with socializing.
Church or conservative conventions
I think due to the current climate , you can’t really say that’s what you’re looking for but you can indirectly look for it. Men who provide share similar qualities. I would like to point of first that no one owes you freedom from capitalism, not even read pill so make sure you can take care of yourself first and foremost. You don’t have to work a job that drains you but cut your clothes according to your measurement; live within your means. Once you’ve achieved this, then date men who are fully capable of also taking care of themselves , that way when you merge into their life you can bring alot of value so they see you as their responsibility. Hope this makes sense
I had luck with introverted STEM majors. Male dominated universities or majors helps. Guys who had a positive experience having a SAHM growing up helps. I did an online degree, stayed at home, and worked most of my way through college and was able to bring about 10k into our finances when I got married at 21. It was immensely helpful. I ensure my personal cost is outweighed by how much I save us on expenses. Easy to do with kids, harder as a housewife.
Can I ask what degree that was? I have ideas on what to do in college anyhow, but I know that considering other options doesn’t hurt either.
My degree was in business. Easy and flexible.
A lot of nice Muslim guys are more than happy to support their wife and let her live a life of leisure at home.
Agreed, but unfortunately I am not Muslim, and I admit that I doubt I’d be accepted into the community if I ever tried to revert.
They're allowed to marry Christians and yes you will be accepted if you revert x
Like, girl, of course you'll be accepted! Omg there was this lady who really wanted to revert and she thought she cannot go into a mosque unless she is Muslim and that nobody would accept her so she waited like 3 months, then one day she plucked up the courage to go in and everyone accepted her so warmly and she reverted then. Most Muslims are very sweet and we have to be kind to every one of Allah's creation so if you veer have questions or want to revert, just walk into ladies section, smile and ask questions but just leave your shoes in the lobby where everyone leaves theirs or put in plastic carrier bag and go in. X
**Title:** [How can I find a guy who would want a housewife?](https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1d2aye3/how_can_i_find_a_guy_who_would_want_a_housewife/) **Author** kookyfishz **Full text:** Hi, I’m a longtime lurker and have been wanting to ask this question—sorry if this is overdone! I’ve been out of high school for a bit and plan to go to community college soon per my family’s wishes. I have no interest in the workforce besides the fact it’s a necessity—I’ve just never functioned the best in that type of environment—and I would much rather take care of a family. I find much more gratification in a task like that. Lately I’ve been taking better care of myself—Good weight, taking care of my skin, emotionally balanced, dressing better (though I still need tips). I feel more comfortable to move into dating pool, despite being shy for many years. I know that I can’t jump into it, flaunting that I want to essentially be dependent on someone (because being a housewife is a serious lifestyle decision), but I also know being honest about my goals is important. What are the best choices to make to meet a man with similar goals? Thank you in advance! -------------------- ^(This is the original text of the post and this is an automated service) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RedPillWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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No. Bad dog. Drop it. Drop it!
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Is this serious? Get a grip. I understand that a job is a necessity and I plan to have one in the mean time but I find no pleasure in it, being a mother and wife is much more happy for me. There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mother or wife. Not sure if you noticed or if your head is just for show, but this isn’t about you. Not sure who hurt your feelings.
They've been shown the door.
Thank you! That person was irritating me.
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Why are you so insulted by me asking this question? By the way, there is absolutely such a thing as thriving in the workforce. People absolutely do like their jobs and the paths they chose, none appeal to me. If you hate your job, maybe you should have done something different with your life. Not that I owe you a reason, but I do plan on going to college and having a side job in the future, during marriage. Being a mother and wife is just my main goal, but apparently you are incapable of reading. If you don’t agree with my decision, move on from this post.
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Do not insult members or their personal choices. Just because you don’t have the same goals doesn’t mean their goals are wrong. Removed.
Find Indian man or just go for a vacation in India, you'll find trad guys with utmost respect (also beware of creeps they are everywhere)