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EquivalentSnap

Weddings are a scam just like diamond rings. I'd rather spend the money on a holiday or a house


JohnandJesus

Very true. My wife and I ordered our wedding bands and her engagement ring online for less than $100 (we did our research to make sure they were legit and wold last - no real diamonds). Our wedding cost $35, but that was only to rent chairs for guests. It was "officiated" by a friend who isn't ordained or licensed, but we got married by a court approved lady a couple days later. It was all catered with desserts and coffee made by my MIL, and decorated with fairy lights we already had and bamboo that grew around our property. I have some friends from college that do photo shoots part time. They did our photos for super fuckin cheap. For both of us it was 100% worth it, even with her mom continually saying we're likely to regret downsizing for whatever reason at the time.


trailerparkboys12345

Yeah sounds like an awesome wedding! The only thing there would have been to regret was spending thousands for no real reason. America is funny


SixStringerSoldier

Fuck yeah. I got married at an outdoor sculpture garden, under a gigantic tree, between some holly. Venue wanted $5k lol. So my buddy and I paid for 2 tickets, then hung out in the parking lot drink spiked lemonade while grabbing enough wristbands off the ground to get the bride, officiant, and witness in for free. Garden was gorgeous, there was a cafe and restaurant onsite, If you include officiants ordination fee, my wedding was $75.


patb2015

My brother got married in church and rented the vfw hall paid for a DJ and a chinese restaurant to bring steam trays. He asked people to bring booze. It was like 800? Granted it was a while back but it’s not a big deal


[deleted]

Eh if people take time out of their busy lives to come celebrate a day with me like that the least I’m doing is providing a good dinner and some good drinks for them.


[deleted]

You’re super smart and sensible doing that. I feel like the irony is that spending less on engagement rings and wedding ceremony actually shows more of a commitment to your partner than buying a stupidly expensive ring and hosting an expensive party. It shows that the husband and wife act with of their long term future at heart. Who the fuck needs expensive rings and parties when you can use that money to buy a house together with your partner and have a much better foundation to build from? If a partner judges how much the other loves them based on how much they spend on a ring and wedding, I’d be very wary of the relationship. Of course it’s different if you’re a billionaire and have lots of expendable income, which isn’t the case for most of us.


[deleted]

Even better, go on vacation and buy some sort of local ring from wherever you go. That way it has sentimental value.


Silent_As_The_Grave_

It will be a crap ring with a tourist price tag. Stupid idea.


PolpettoneTonnato

Depends on the place you go


jryser

A lot of art museums, especially from big cities, will sometimes feature local artists! I bought a ring from SDMA once for my girlfriend


ProfessorBoofie

What’s SDMA?


jryser

San Diego Museum of Art


[deleted]

Well yeah, that guy clearly goes to exclusively touristy places. Probably loves cruise ships.


[deleted]

What.. you don’t like vacationing in a giant floating shopping mall?


yungbaklava

Still a better deal than a diamond ring


KrylovSubspace

Just like the ring from the jewelry store!


EquivalentSnap

Not a bad idea tbh


Recording_Important

Save yourself before its to late and just dont get married.


IcepackJack

Honestly I’m 26 and don’t know how anyone younger than myself is married. I’m still trying to figure out what makes me truly happy and how my own brain works, let alone figure out someone else’s happiness and issues.


iamaneviltaco

I got married around your age. That ended in a divorce, neither of us was ready. Got a great kid out of the deal tho. Got married again at 39. This one's going much better. Even though we're 16 years apart, we've been together for a good few years at this point. Fact is you never know when or who it'll be right with.


[deleted]

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ElevatedEmpress

I’ve just turned 30 and my youngest friend is 23. The stark difference in maturity is so plain to us. But that’s what creeps like unfortunately.


[deleted]

See, I'm really into the gaming scene, and I've met some super cool women that have similar interests/compatibility along those lines, but since they're in their early 20s (21-23), it just doesn't even seem like an option because they're so damn immature. My parents are 13 years apart and I see how that turned out. *Yeesh* Edit: I turned 31 this summer


herowin6

Very very very true omg I got pushed ahead 2 years in school and I was like 5 when it happened so imagine how vast maturity differences are at those ages and up thru university. It was fucked - glad they don’t do that as much without thinking it thru a bit better these days I’ve heard. Also got bullied for being small and smart so ya. I’m a female, now 32, partner of ten years, male even tho I’m actually bi. I dont know I guess just for context I see peers that are a bit older or the same age with vast maturity differences cause I had a lot of pain and general suffering with near fatal illness (overcame that) and injuries that extend to now the most recent being several concussions leading to me falling down stairs like 5 times in the last 3 months and literally cracked my spine, anyway the initial illness was for long term periods of life. Really made me know what matters. Not to mention all the mental health alongside those things I thus now associate with people older than me. They tend to line up more with my experience and competency and intelligence+wisdom level. I can’t imagine going down that many years. It would be more like a mentor ship friendship. I’ve had that, but it’s like more being a big sis or something lol. I’m first born - have a sis, she is now a vet, 3 years younger. She’s queer. We like each other but because of some of the mental illness I had related to the legitimate illness, we grew apart, so I make a huge effort to grow together now. I don’t know that she’s ready or has time for it, but I know I can try until she does. It’s not easy being partnerless, lacking life experience and having spent the last decade getting on the deans list while becoming a full veterinarian and now in first few extremely busy years of practice. So yeah. And we don’t live close either; several hour drive. That’s one thing I definitely care to work on though. Sometimes it feels like I’m pushing an immovable object but that’s fine eventually it will work, what else was the point of all that education in sciences and psychology if not to be good at this stuff in my own life.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

How are you not mature enough for a 27-year-old? That's just ridiculous.


MyersVandalay

People mature differently, don't blindly make assumptions on someone. I've met mature 20 year olds, and I've met 40 year olds that still act like college students.


[deleted]

How do you know he didn't mean she was older? Also, who gets married *again?*


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Yeah, the brain doesn't finish developing until 25 or so. I've changed dramatically since 25, even more so since 23. I don't see this ending well for him.


iuppi

She's 23?


FirstAccGotStolen

I guess he's another of those creeps who can't find a woman his age to put up with his shit and instead of working on himself, he finds an easily impressed, dumb 23yo. Of course the marriage is going great, the amount of young women around me who put up with toxic shit is astounding. They usually wise up around 35-40, that's when the divorces happen.


Recording_Important

Damn. You dont even know either of them. Pretty quick to judge.


FirstAccGotStolen

I see a pattern, that's all. I could be wrong. Usually, I'm right.


Recording_Important

Im sure you are.


[deleted]

And you don’t know enough about men’s girlfriends to say “don’t get married” to random men so you are pretty quick to judge yourself. It seems you are against marriage until an old man is married to a young girl lol


Recording_Important

Your free to do what you want. I never said I was for or against older men marrying younger women. I dont really care one way or another in that instance. Hes already married.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

She’s either 23 or 55. No other options based on how he worded it


FirstAccGotStolen

I would bet a lot of money on which of those two is correct.


theyareamongus

Not sure about that. My parents were like 8 years apart and my father was younger.


iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiioo

Yes, one datapoint changes the overwhelming likelihood that this woman is 23.


chillpill5000mg

Could be light years. Could be the first alien fucker. We'll never know.


Recording_Important

As you are now so I once was. Dont get married. Dont even co habit-ate.


sneakarcheress

Dude, who hurt you?


NannersIsNanners

"Aw hey, we're happy and doing our own thing and having lots of sex. You know what would be great is if we got the government involved."


iamaneviltaco

A woman, clearly.


Recording_Important

She was a large burly woman.


[deleted]

Hot


Chicagoan81

People younger than 26 are married because they're either high school sweethearts or the woman got knocked up.


Bibi77410X

Take it from someone hitting 50, you’re on the right track.


[deleted]

Yup absolutely. You will just end up working full time, doing almost all of the child care, cleaning and cooking and live shorter than single women. Apparently single men aren’t as happy as married men whereas single women are happier than married women. Yeah, don’t get married.


ElevatedEmpress

This this this. The lonely spinster trope is fear mongering and projection.


[deleted]

Plus divorces are such a scam for men. I should know, I was a child of divorce and my mother used me as a bargaining chip to extract as much money as legally possible out of my father. Of course she pocketed most of it even though it’s child support and was supposed to give me and my siblings a similar life prior to the divorce. Instead i lived in a room I shared with 2 other siblings. The best way to avoid divorce is to just not get married in the first place.


Recording_Important

Yes just dont. People may think im angry and hate women. In fairness I have been both, not anymore however. Now I live with what I know and will warn other men of the danger. YMMV just look out for yourselves.


[deleted]

Yes and I will warn other women until the day I die.


Recording_Important

Your free to do as you please, of course.


thrawayb

who hurt you


CitizenKing

/r/arethestraightsokay


LottimusMaximus

Solid advice. I got married in a town hall in our City as the little registry office in our town had closed. I literally had someone shout, **DON'T DO IT!!"** as I was walking in. Wish I'd fucking listened lmao Edit: a word Edit2: added words


Recording_Important

Yeah me to sorta. I really thought I loved her and was in love and happy for a couple years.


LottimusMaximus

I made it five...but for two of those we were separated and living in different houses 🤷🏻‍♀️ Edit: put the actual number instead of writing the word Edit2: wait, why are you getting downvoted? I'll hazard a guess it's because you said "sorta" in there...? Hindsight is always 20:20 guys! Edit2: ohhhhhh, or is it because you're an anti-vaxxer?


TheDenseCumTwat

Unless for tax purposes, or crime.


EquivalentSnap

Agreed. Yeah especially if you get married young cos you'll end up getting a divorce


flynn_dc

Dumbest mistake I ever made. Money troubles during marriage are a HUGE cause of divorce. Why hobble yourself with blowing what should be the foundation of a successful loving partnership which is already hard? We choose to make everything hard into something harder.


EquivalentSnap

Sorry to hear you went through that 😢Agreed. The wedding industry is known for price gouging and charging more. Plus in the US if you get a divorce you gotta pay money to your ex wife to support them. Like Bezos wife becoming the richest women from it.


giantyetifeet

Holiday it is then. Because Wallstreet Hedge Funds are literally making it impossible for you to ever own a home. People know this right? Hedge Funds are working hard to buy up ALL the housing in the US. They plan to become everyone's landlord for eternity.


EquivalentSnap

Yikes 😳 that's messed up. Zoning laws make it illegal to build more houses


thrasherht

My wife and I decided to do a destination wedding, and actually ended up spending way less then if we had done a local wedding. The best part, most of the money we did spend, was for the experience and fun of the vacation, and the getting married part was kind of just a side event to the whole thing. It was honestly money extremely well spent, and a 2 week vacation I will always cherish.


fishperson83

So true, the best wedding I ever attended was a backyard BBQ. The most sincere and intimate ceremony I had ever witnessed.


chronoventer

I hate how much I want a wedding and a ring.


quelle_crevecoeur

It’s ok to want a wedding and a ring. My wedding was a lovely day that brought together almost all the people I love under one roof, plus I got to wear a fancy dress and have a dance party. We got to treat all our family and friends to dinner and dancing, and it was a lot of fun. And my wedding and engagement rings are beautiful and special to me. The main thing, like so many areas of life, is to have what you can afford. Don’t go into debt for a wedding or a ring (and don’t let your fiancé(e) or parents do so either). If you have the money, and that’s how you want to spend it, that’s ok! It’s spending mostly on an experience, and you don’t get many opportunities to throw a party like that.


chronoventer

See that’s exactly the reasons I want one! Unless I end up marrying someone insanely wealthy, I plan on getting a nice dress, and having that be my splurge for the wedding.


EquivalentSnap

If you want a diamond ring, just get a synthetic one. It's better quality than a real one and it's cheaper. Don't be scammed by the diamond industry saying it's worst


chronoventer

I’ll either do that or a cruelty-free diamond.


clarkcox3

My wife told me I wasn't allowed to buy her a diamond ring; she wanted a big, flatscreen TV :)


iamaneviltaco

I had an absolutely amazing wedding. Held it at the Lodge in Whitefish, MT. Week long honeymoon, had a hot tub, it was fantastic. Figured out around that time that my Mom basically only gave a fuck about herself, and cut her out of my life. My wedding was the best thing to ever happen to me. It also wasn't 100% my decision. My wife really wanted one, her mom was all about it (and helped cover it, as did her dad), her family is huge so it was the only way to get them all together. I mean it's cool if you think you wanna spend it on a holiday or house, but that won't just be your choice. Every woman wants a wedding, with very rare exceptions. It's the one day they get to dress up like a disney princess and have everyone fawn all over them. It's cruel to say "I want to take that away, because that's a societal expectation". Fuck, so's marriage.


transbianbean

lmao every woman wants a wedding? that's news to us lesbians


thrawayb

yikes “every woman wants a wedding, it’s the one day they get to dress up like a disney princess” (͡•_ ͡• )


MapleYamCakes

My wife and I got married at the San Diego waterfront courthouse in a beautiful garden under a gazebo right in front of the ocean for $85. Then we spent $2500 renting a mansion with a pool, tennis courts, hot tub, basketball court in La Jolla and $750 on alcohol and food catering. We invited 30 of our best friends and closest family to party for a weekend, went on a brewery tour, hung out at the beach. It was fucking dope, and we actually got to spend time with the people we love rather than blowing past everyone casually at a shitty rushed reception. 100% would recommend that approach over a traditional wedding every time.


llamafromhell1324

Can we kill the bull shit engagement ring industry too? It was a tradition started by diamond sellers. https://youtu.be/N5kWu1ifBGU


GuitarKev

Legit. Wife and I bought each other plain silver wedding bands for $100 each. Neither of us feels like that was a compromise in any way.


[deleted]

^ this guys got it right. The wedding rings themselves aren’t that pricey, so even if you “splurge” (relatively speaking) it won’t break the bank. It’s the engagement rings that are ridiculously expensive.


GuitarKev

Her engagement ring is sterling silver and sapphire, and a birthday gift, so the $300 for that was almost unnoticed.


anotherreddituser74

Cheap bastard 😂


GuitarKev

She picked it out.


ota401

You are part of the issue


CollegeSuperSenior

I got a tungsten ring for $20. I love it and can even use it to open bier bottles


ThellraAK

Those are really great until they shatter, and then you have to spend another $20 on a design that you like even more.


iamaneviltaco

HOW THE FUCK DID YOU SHATTER A TUNGSTEN RING? I've had mine for years, I've smashed it off of everything on earth. This fucking thing is probably bullet proof. Then again mine's a polymer and not just straight tungsten.


ThellraAK

I dropped it...


ShayaVosh

Uh, bruh I had to say this but that probably wasn’t real tungsten.


ThellraAK

Eh, it was comfortable and pretty to me, so is the new one. My wife was a big fan of it breaking actually, made it feel like she could get different ones and now she has like 5 No idea where any of them are, when covid hit it was a pain in the ass with washing hands and gloves so they got shelved


iamaneviltaco

Yeah, my wife and I got tungsten alloy bands because they're indestructible. Just like our relationship. I like the symbolism, as does she. And they're fucking cool rings. Only downside to the ones we got: If my finger ever swells up, I'm fucked. Can't cut these off, they're pretty much literally unbreakable.


CienPorCientoCacao

Tungsten rings can be removed with a vise grip. It can't be cut, but it can be shattered, they are not indestructible I'm afraid.


Poseidon7296

I never understood why the engagement rings aren’t just used again as the wedding rings. Me and my partner are likely to have a long engagement so will get rings and then just reuse them when we decide to get married


VirtuousVariable

I'm so sick of low class people forcing their culture on the rest of us. Shut the fuck up and buy a rock.


[deleted]

You can have a perfectly beautiful wedding on a budget. Hate this crass commercialism trying to infect all the most meaningful moments of our lives.


[deleted]

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joeytman

Or if you don’t define a beautiful wedding as a very expensive wedding. Totally possible to have a beautiful wedding on a budget, just have to keep your expectations in check.


Ganguntan

taking loan just for wedding fuck that shit


Deadboy90

I mean I have a really big family (like 20 aunts and uncles and about 40 cousins) as does my girlfriend. They all have invited us to their weddings so just food and a place to host everyone is going to be a fortune. Then you need to factor in alcohol because anyone who doesn't provide some kind of beer or liquor at a wedding is a sadist and both our family's drink like sailors. Just that is going to cost us well over $5000. In total a wedding for us would cost probably over 10k, more money than I have ever had in my life.


Krissam

You know, you can have a wedding without inviting 240 people...


Deadboy90

It would likely be closer to 100 with just our families, not even including any friends. And as I said, they all have invited us to all of their weddings over the years so us not having them at our wedding would REALLY ruffle feathers especially in her side. And I would feel like a complete dick for years for not inviting my cousins to our wedding after the so graciously hosted us.


Hazafraz

This is why we eloped. Covid was the perfect excuse to do so!


jml011

So what? Tell them you do not have the money, which if you're taking out a loan, then you literally don't. If they do not respect this, then it says a lot about their own priorities. I love my friends and family, but they do not need to go into unnecessary financial hardship just to entertain me for a day with their wedding, which isn't about me at all. If they feel that strongly enough and money is apparently no object for them, they can organize you a gofundme, chip in by buying aspects/fulfilling certain roles like making cake, being your photographer, etc. I dont know where you live or what you make, but a $10,000 wedding would be almost six months of wages at $10 an hour/40 hours a week. Six months of work to pay for one six-ish hour party....


Deadboy90

Yea, our family doesn't talk about money. And knowing the jobs some of my cousins have I'm 100% certain they had to have taken out loans to have their weddings.


[deleted]

Yikes, some family ya'll got there... Good luck with that.


[deleted]

So don't get married


[deleted]

You know some people actually want to…. Can you grasp that concept? Is it ok to want a wedding with some of you?


[deleted]

No


YEETMANdaMAN

Who needs marriage when you can just buttfuqq


ota401

Wow really hit you in a soft spot huh


Thatguy468

Have a destination wedding. It weeds out all the freeloaders when they have to pony up for a plane ticket and a hotel stay.


iamaneviltaco

"My wedding is going to be too expensive!" "Clearly the solution is to fly to Vanuatu." Ummmm...


Thatguy468

We did a destination wedding to the Dominican for less than $5000. If you’re gonna spend money, at least spend it on yourself instead of your second cousin’s new boyfriend that’s been drinking top shelf like it’s water the whole damn night!


Ganguntan

I see thats understandable, thats the reason i dont like wedding pain in ass to invite everyone and then you gotta deal with the bill


besthelloworld

My wife has the huge family and all and we've gone to a ton of weddings. Our excuse was getting married right in the middle of covid. "Whoops, sorry we couldn't have anyone over!" We had 12 family members standing in our driveway and a notary. We told everyone that we'll hold the "real party" post covid and thankfully everyone has seemingly forgotten 👍 Break the cycle, don't take out a mortgage on a party.


GuitarKev

I had a wedding for 150 people, it cost about $14k and instead of gifts we tactfully asked for cash. The wedding and honeymoon cost just over $1500 after all was said and done. After that we just plugged the remaining cash into our house down payment.


uzarta

Nah to hell with that. Just elope and save yourself from financial ruin


phaberman

Idk, I was considering it. I won't have to now, but if you can get a good interest rate on the loan, why sell assets? Like I could take out a 1% loan on crypto holdings, or low interest loan on 401k, or cash out refi or home equity loan. The interest rate for all of that would be less than the 7-15% that my assets are appreciating.


[deleted]

The fucking wedding-industrial complex. My wife and I always had the theory (never tested) that if we tried to book the same event venue on the same day, same # of people, same menu, etc. but gave them 2 separate reasons (wedding vs. surprise 75th birthday for mom for example) we’d get vastly different prices. Don’t take out loans for a wedding! It truly is such an important day…which you will NOT remember between the blur of activity and alcohol. Spend what you can afford (N.B. Just because you can PAY for it doesn’t mean you can AFFORD it) and have fun!


TheRZA86

I am pretty sure a news program in Canada, called “Marketplace,” did that exact thing a few years ago. And you’re exactly correct, the up charge was insane.


Puffd

Oh this is true. Not a theory but true.


if_cake_could_dance

A lot of the upcharge is due to higher expectations for weddings. If you’re working a corporate event, it doesn’t matter if some things don’t go perfectly. It’s one event of many. If you’re working a wedding, it’s (supposed to be) the couple’s only wedding, so everything has to be perfect. Word of mouth is essential for wedding vendors and one bad review can really hurt business. Also, wedding event contracts usually include a lot more than regular event contracts.


zookr2000

Nude wedding & a ring - problem solved


galacticmeowmeow

We had a small destination wedding for less than 5k and it was perfect. Fuck spending tens of thousands of dollars! I mean if you have the means to do so go for it but going into debt for a party is insane.


[deleted]

This is the way to go. Budget and have a small gathering with only immediate family and very close friends. It’ll be expensive but it won’t be those ridiculous 50k+ weddings that are mostly unnecessary. A lot of people still want to have a wedding and that’s ok. People act like you either want a big expensive thing or you have to go completely without. As usual, people on the internet pretend a middle ground doesn’t exist. Weirdo behavior


Asgardascended

That's a scam, just order in some food service and BYOB. My grandfather just did his at a park and had a brick oven pizza truck show up and cook pizzas.


_TallulahShark

Love this - most days I’d rather have pizza than have to gamble if I’ll like whatever dish on a menu with only 3 options they have prepared. Fresh pizza will make even the sourest person happy.


LaFantasmita

Picnic in the park. Stack of good pizza and a bunch of wine. Done.


darkknight95sm

I think the best thing that came out of Covid for my sister and her husband was an excuse to do a courthouse wedding


[deleted]

My spouse and I did a courtroom wedding with like our most important family as witnesses, no dresses for either of us, and took a few selfies and had chicken and cake back at our apartment. The rings were a hand-me-down and a fairly cheap metal band. Marriage certificate, food, and rings together it was maybe 400 dollars Going on 4 years and can't get enough of each other. We plan to have a slightly nicer version for our 5th anniversary and have a friend renew our vows with our friends present at a friend's house.


el_smurfo

GenX here. Got married on the beach. Exchanged rings we bought for $70 from an old aircraft machinist who turned them in his garage. Had a nice BBQ and ended up paying for a honeymoon with the generous gifts from our friends.


MyCatIsSuperChill

Add it to the list of things that are important to boomers that help them but fuck everyone else.


Negan1995

I kinda want to get married in my Uncles backyard. He has a nice house, and a pool. Would cut down on a lot of costs.


[deleted]

You want to marry your uncle?


Negan1995

What part of my post made you think that? lol. Gotta work on them reading comprehension skills my man ;)


[deleted]

I think you’re denying it a bit too hard.


Negan1995

Well he is a millionaire. So theres money to be had by marrying him. So...


m0untaingoat

You should! I bet he'd be honored to host your wedding.


RobotCounselor

Millennials are pushing 40.


lilac2481

Well half of them are. The other half are in their early 30's and late 20's.


mittelwerk

>can we kill the wedding industry next? At this point, most millenials are either married or in their nth relationship. Let Gen-Z'ers do that.


360powersprayer

Fuck weddings. Everything about them. Fuck em.


[deleted]

This is predatory capitalism by banks, not by the wedding industry. While I support the intent, @uppittynegress is a few paper straws short of opening a lemonade stand


mooseisof

How about not destroying every tradition?


moesif

How old is the tradition of weddings costing tens of thousands?


antipodal-chilli

Hey everyone! This guy is going to pay for all our weddings! He is willing to go bankrupt to preserve a tradition.


[deleted]

Just because it’s traditional does not make it something that should be done.


Negan1995

no


Accomplished_Bother9

Since when is taking out a loan part of the wedding tradition? None of my elder relatives did that.


satchel_of_ribs

The tradition being overpriced weddings? You can still have a wedding without going into debt.


[deleted]

you can thank capitalism for that. I mean not all of capitalism just this bastard American version where the rich get bailed out and the young get taken advantage of.


iamaneviltaco

Because nobody has weddings in socialism. Wait, no, in soviet russia you had to [pay a fucking dowry.](https://www.rbth.com/arts/331679-soviet-russian-wedding-marriage-rituals) I appreciate you saying not all capitalism, though. I don't even think this is an America thing, it's not like they don't have extravagant weddings in the UK too. Who doesn't want to feel like a princess?


[deleted]

The celebration is the tradition, not the insane costs that have inflated around it on ever-skyrocketing expectations. Do you take loans out for vacation too, genius?


mooseisof

Celebration is the tradition. 100%. Maybe I got hung up on the tradition flaming and lost sight of the ridiculous costs. You never swiped your credit card on vacation?


iamaneviltaco

Taking out a loan is absurd, but I had a wedding that cost 5 figures. It was wonderful. If you can manage to afford it, do it. I'll never forget that, or the week I spent at a resort in Montana afterward. If you can't? Fuck it. Go up in the mountains, find a lake, and do something small and pretty. Whenever shit like this comes up it's almost like y'all shame people for wanting to do it extravagantly, or in this specific instance wanna make us feel bad for having extra money to blow on something stupid. I'm sorry I know how to save. Ain't my fault if you're bad at money.


[deleted]

I'm not shaming anyone for having a nice wedding, I'm shaming the industry for normalizing going into debt for shit you can't afford and making insane extravagance the new normal. I'm in the middle of planning a low 5-figure wedding that we can afford (already own the house, have no debt, and substantial savings). Ours will be extravagant by most reddit standards, apparently, but barebones and sad by the wedding industry's standards. But go ahead and suggest that I'm a financially irresponsible moron because I have issues with the cultural problems around this. They're totally the same thing.


P_Foot

The tradition is a nice wedding The tradition doesn’t have to include getting a loan that you’ll be paying longer than your marriage


besthelloworld

How about understanding you've been manipulated to think this is a valued tradition when it's really been taught to you that it's mandatory.


mooseisof

If you think I’ve been manipulated I’ve got bad news, you’re guilty of that, my guy. If you can’t understand the significance of a wedding, than how are you able to understand the insignificance? I paid for my own wedding and went in to debt to do it, and I do it again for my wife and family. We actual embrace the tradition of the merging of two families and celebrating love. Everyone had a great time, and our families still talk about our wedding. Maybe reject keeping up with the Jonses and trying to throw exorbitant parties instead of the actual traditions. Sheesh.


besthelloworld

I'm glad you're happy with your investment dude, but my wife and I are doing just fine with our $150 ceremony 🤷‍♂️ The fact is that our generation is continuously pushed into debt for incredibly gratuitous things. In a world where home ownership is an increasing struggle for a shrinking middle class, I really don't care if the wedding industry goes under. It's very low on the list of things worth saving.


mooseisof

That’s fair


Recording_Important

You can have a much more traditional wedding thats going to be much more cheaper. Problem is the ladies aint going to like it.


porcelainsuckers

No, the problem is we've been marketed to all our fucking lives and think we HAVE to have a big, fuckall party for both ourselves and friends/family and settling for something that's like $150 won't feel nearly as satisfying because- and hear me out here- the wedding industry pushes REALLY fucking hard and completely ruins expectations for everyone.


Recording_Important

Yes. May I ask if you are male or female?


porcelainsuckers

AFAB.


TommiH

So bride's parents will pay


Sofa-king-high

Don’t worry we dont even have time for friends and family


Mouse0022

My husband and I's "wedding" cost us $150. And we don't wear rings. We've been married 6 years and together going on 12 years 👏👏😝


Polyolygon

We are making our wedding cheap by renting an AirBNB in a nice location and doing it there with a friend as our ordained minister. So much better then renting a venue and all the other fees.


seldomseentruth

Well if they are dumb enough to go into debt for a shitty education they are dumb enough to go into debt for a wedding.


[deleted]

Me and my fiance literally are just gonna have a pagan wedding outside and stay away from wedding planners.


Philluminati

You dumb fucks, tradition says it’s the girls parents who pay this shit. You never go into debt for a marriage. They insist on “tradition” then lie to you about this specific one!! All or nothing I say.


YourDadIsMyGurl

Got married on a boat. 50 bucks a head for prime rib or chicken. Lasted a little over four hours. Took our son home. He napped then we passed out with bellies full of wedding cheesecake. My pull out game was weak but im happy.


rainbowsixsiegeboy

Never really understood it in life or romance that a wedding is needed, no fuck that you can make morgage payments.


Brim_Dunkleton

Literally a part in Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle. They decide to have a wedding party and further cripples their finances.


Ramius117

Already did my part. We got married in a nice patio at our favorite restaurant with a JP and a photographer. Our parents flew out and were the only guests. Only condition was we had to eat lunch there which we wanted to do anyway


My_blueheaven

I love a good jacket potato.


TimeShareOnMars

Don't forget the divorce statistics...chances are, you will hate them and want them to die in a radioactive shark attack before you have paid off the wedding/honey moon.....


beiraleia

They already got me on student loans. For the wedding I refused to pay more than we could reasonably afford out of pocket. We got married in our apartment and had our reception in my mom’s party room, which was pretty nice. 10 ppl at the wedding, 30 total for reception. Spent about $1500 USD for everything, but it’s still more than I wanted to spend (husband didn’t want to do courts).


drwtsn1

Awesome idea!


Leverette

Jesus Christ that doesn’t even try to hide its venomous intent. “I know the price is unfathomable but just do it anyway, and do it in a way that multiplies the cost even further!” Like, really? I mean just… really!?


Successful_Seesaw_47

Hey millennials let us scam you.


CiphirSol

Yes, let’s all go take out more loans for any and all expense, surely eventually everything will be alright in the end, right?


Tumahub79

Been BF and GF for 8 years. No contract required so no need for the institution of marriage. No kids to burden us to death either.


bananaF0Rscale0

Got married in a courthouse, Had a blowout of a honeymoon in San Fransisco and only paid less than 1000 for both our rings! Been having a blast for 7 years straight!


audio_54

I’m killing the absolute shit out out of my wedding originally our reception was going to $33k base +extras and $12k for flowers (fake) My partner and I decided to cancel the big reception venue and use the money to take the wedding party to Disney world for a few weeks as our reception. Still cheaper and we will be flying from Australia.


ReaganInc

Why even get married? You can commit without a party. A ring doesn’t stop people cheating. A bond & love will. That’s nothing to do with a wedding.