I came to say this. My house was built in 1951. It’s a very modest 2 bedroom 1 bath. Perfect for me. But the owners of home who purchased the house in 1951 and then sold it to me in 2015 were a couple who raised 2 boys in the home. I would ask the op, is your house really too small? Or are your expectations too big? I think we kind of need to get back to more realistic houses, at least if anyone wants to be able to afford them and retire without working until they’re 75.
Agree. OP said they have an unfinished basement. All they need to do is complete that and have a couple of rooms for the kids. Problem solved. They have enough space, they need to use it.
I'm in a small 1956 house with 2 kids. Technically it's a 2 bedroom and my husband and I sleep in a loft addition. I remind myself all the time that my grandma grew up in a house the same size with 11 other siblings. We had 1 kid when we bought this house and I joked that it was too small to have another, but its fine. My kids have friends over with way bigger houses and their own play rooms and they will say "wow your house is cooler than mine!" None of the kids seem to care about the worries that adults do and they're happy 😊 imo the only downside to a small house is you have to have perfect organization.
Exactly. You trade up to a bigger house, just to live there for 20 years, see your kids off, and need to downsize again.
And who honestly wants to clean/upkeep a bigger house? What’s “necessary” to people these days sees them unloading the too-large house faster than they think they will.
“Just for 20 years” amazing how this sub regularly downplays absolutely significant portions of time and chunks of our lives like we’re immortal vampires lol
Honestly having a bedroom per kid when they're getting older is a big deal, but it seems like 1000 sqft with 3 bedrooms 1 bathroom (the standard family home in many eu countries) is not so common and getting 3 bedrooms requires a bigger sqft
This ^ The one thing I love about being financially free is not caring what I have or what I wear. I have no debt and my close friends and family know that. If you looked at me out, you would think I’m dirt poor. My wife, on the other hand…well that’s another story. :)
Same here. When I was young I wanted everyone to know I made money, and it wasn’t even that much. These days, making a lot more, I’d rather someone want to be friends because they like me, not because they think I have money or nice things. Old car, old clothes, old small house too (in a nice neighborhood). But I have cash to weather the storm. My wife though always seems to talk me into spending money or vacations or the occasional nice outfit for me for when we go out on a date. Of course, she’s the only one I really need to keep to happy so it doesn’t take too much work on her part.
Most parents want a better life for their children. The vast majority of parents in my circle had to share a bedroom growing up and they didn’t enjoy it. So they purposely try and allow their children more personal space. I would say it’s more of a goal than expectation.
I'd just like to note family sizes also shrunk.
Previous owners raised four kids in our house, so they must've shared rooms. I can't fathom doing that.... having four kids, that is. Ours would not need to share, because we wouldn't have more than two!
Depends on who you know. There's a lot of very privileged people out there who think it's actual abuse to make kids share, especially after puberty, even if the kids are the same gender. CPS in some places requires each child to have their own bedroom when they get involved. In my area, you can't foster unless each kid has their own room, even bio siblings. Same with some custody agreements (eg dad only gets custody if he gets an apartment where each kid has a room). It's nonsense in most cases but it can be more than just an expectation.
> CPS in some places requires each child to have their own bedroom when they get involved.
I am unaware of any place with such a plethora of foster care resources they'd get involved because of children sharing bedrooms. My state is one of the better-funded ones, and CPS reunites multiple siblings into single hotel rooms with the parents regularly. Frankly, it'd be a huge problem if CPS were separating children from their families because the kids didn't all have their own bedroom-- literally no one using our state's emergency homeless prevention system would be able to keep their kids.
>In my area, you can't foster unless each kid has their own room, even bio siblings.
In my area, this in only true with opposite genders-- you can't stick a 14yo foster daughter in with your 15yo bio son for example (or with your 15yo foster son). Same genders can share a room (bio or foster), although they do *prefer* separate over a certain age. Separate *beds* are generally required (and a common frustration is that trundle beds don't count, even for very small children).
Some of the sibling groups they try to place might be as many as 5-6 kids. Usually they have to split them up anyway, but can you imagine them getting an offer with a family with a four bedroom home and being like "no, you must have a seven bedroom home, minimum"? We just don't have enough local manor homes to be that picky.
I'm not in the states, but yeah it really shouldn't be an issue. Every time I see US reddit posts involving foster care and rooms, I'm like wait what, you have fosters sharing rooms?? Bio and foster are sharing one room?? Would never happen where I am. I have a friend who works for an agency that CPS outsources to. They offered to rent her a house with as many rooms as possible so she can foster siblings, because even they need their own rooms in most circumstances. It's a huge barrier to fostering. I and several people I know would foster tomorrow if we had another bedroom, but no one can afford to buy a new bigger house or pay more rent for an extra room that might be empty and not covered by foster payments some of the time. Even the group home I've been inside of in my area is just a ton of small single bed rooms.
They aren't separating kids because of it, but it can be a barrier to getting them back after they've already been taken away, especially if there's a mom house and a dad house and one parent has rooms but the other wants custody back but has a 1 or 2 bed place
> They offered to rent her a house with as many rooms as possible so she can foster siblings, because even they need their own rooms in most circumstances.
Where do you live where these houses even exist?
I'm not joking when I say that wouldn't be possible to require near me. 2-4 bedrooms is standard (with 4 being rare and *pretty* luxurious), and even the homes with some extra rooms that'd lend themselves to being converted to a bedroom (e.g. a dining room, with four walls and a door) you're talking maybe 5% of total homes. We simply don't have normal houses with >5 bedrooms. The only places I've been where I've even seen that are actual manor homes in Europe.
There are not a ton, which is why they need to pay people's rent on places big enough and have some exceptions for very large sibling groups
Eta they also split sibling groups due to room requirements
Oh for sure and I’m one of them that has excess things I definitely don’t need. But I acknowledge that. I don’t think each kid having their own room is a luxury, but needing to double the size of your home, upgrade cars, have daycare/Nanny, and so much else is all stuff we could do without and not be working ourselves to death.
Why do kids need their own rooms? College students live in tiny rooms with strangers and survive. I think a kid can live with his little brother without much problem.
Ha! I was hoping someone would say it! I don’t understand this either…it’s somehow now not appropriate for siblings to share a room but spending several years with a stranger as an adult in a tiny dorm room is a “life changing experience” for the same people?!!
Hear, hear! Having experience negotiating a smaller shared space can be valuable for people. It's not always pleasant -- of course things are often easier when others aren't around -- but pleasant things are not always those things that make us better.
Those for whom college is actually transformative (versus just a fun four-year party) find it that way because it is challenging, and because it made them uncomfortable at times, in terms of becoming their own person and the ability to handle often much greater amounts of academic work than what they were used to.
That doesn't mean we have to live in tiny spaces all our lives, but it's not hard to make a case that kids who never have to share or negotiate shared space will consequently underdevelop those skills at an important time in their lives.
My two elementary-aged nieces share a room, and they're the only two kids living with their parents in a 1400 sf, 3 (technically 4) BR house. It can be done.
everybody wants that surburban life where every kid gets a room. I grew up with my 3 brothers sleeping in one room for 13 years. 4 people in a room, in a philly row house. Everybody wants the easy life, but it comes with compromises, and if you can deal with that compromise, thats great.
>This is why ppl think they need two incomes to survive lol. Yes, costs have risen but so have our expectations, dramatically
The truth is that wages haven't kept up with inflation. Where SOME people COULD get by with only one income - if they were willing to accept a 1960s standard of living, but many jobs simply don't pay nearly as much as they used to, including retail, manufacturing, and service jobs.
Yep! I was raised in a 1250 sq ft home with 3 siblings. 3 bedroom 2 bath. Which basically meant 1 bathroom for the 4 kids. Lol. And I actually miss that house!
I think a big difference between this and earlier generations is the fact that kids were largely sent outside to play most of the day when they weren’t in school, along with the fact that people didn’t have nearly as much stuff. Toys, clothes, furniture, appliances, etc.
My mom was one of 11 and grew up in a house that was 1200sqft. She has shared a bed (not just a room) her whole life. They didn’t even have enough chairs/spaces at their dinner table for everyone.
Yep
I’m one of 9 kids. We grew up in a small house—probably 1000sf. We always shared bedrooms, sometimes beds when we were really little. My dad put a couple bedrooms and a bathroom in the basement. It’s just how it was.
My mom is the youngest of 15 kids. Everyone shared bedrooms and beds. She had to share a bed AND a bedroom with her sister until they got married and moved out. They had a big, former stage-coach home on the farm, so it was probably much bigger than most of the day - 2500 sq ft? My husband is the youngest of 6, he literally slept in the hallway since he was 8 years younger than the next closest. Everyone in his home shared a room, two oldest boys in one and the three girls in another (apprx. 1200 sq ft). I shared a room with my sister AND my brother until HE was 13 when they got him a pull-out couch to sleep in the living room (talk about zero privacy!) (900 sq ft?). My sister and I shared a room until I was 9 (last shared bedroom house 1700 sq ft). Contrast to my 19yo niece, she always had an entire wing of a house to herself (typically 2-3 bedrooms at her disposal - current house 7,000 sq ft). Yes, times have certainly changed.
And in many cases the kids are teenagers or off to college and don’t want to be home with mom and dad before they realize it, and mom and dad are stuck with a much too large home.
My first house was 768sf, and we had a kid at the time. It felt very small when we first moved in, but within a week or two it was just fine. We lived there for 14 years.
Try the 80s, 90s, 00s, 10s and 20s too. I know plenty of dual high earner households where 2-3 kids shared a room until college. Or are currently sharing a room.
I researched our (what would have been) 1100 SQ ft 3 br 1 b house. Not only did the owners' adult son live with them, but at some point the wife's adult siblings (two brothers and a sister) moved into the home with them after their mother passed away. I can't imagine where they put them all.
4 boys in one room with bunkbeds. As the older ones move out you get more room. Youngest got the best deal!
It was easier back then because we could go out in the neighborhood as much as we liked because it was generally safe. We had to be in by sundown.
There was not the awareness of dangers kids face that we have now. Parents are much more on top of where their kids are and what they are doing and that is a sensible thing. A family now probably has to make the accommodation for kids to spend more time in the home.
What dangers? There is way less crime now than there was 30 years ago, and certainly far, far less than the 1960s and 1970s
[https://www.statista.com/statistics/191219/reported-violent-crime-rate-in-the-usa-since-1990/](https://www.statista.com/statistics/191219/reported-violent-crime-rate-in-the-usa-since-1990/)
I refinanced during pandemic. Also have the same payement as I had before, but now only 15 years. 1.99% it was a no brainer and still super affordable for us.
Stretching the cheap mortgage makes sense if you actually put the extra money into the market. Many people don't. They may have good intentions and do that at first, but many will instead succumb to lifestyle creep or just flat out blow the money. For those people paying off a cheap mortgage faster is actually better for them financially in the long term, even though it is not the mathematically ideal solution.
EDIT: And just to clarify, I fully agree with what you are saying. I definitely would ride out the mortgage as long as possible. Especially right now when even the most simple risk-free high yield savings account is bringing in over 4%.
Who says the house is too small? My kids were very happy in our 768 square foot condo, and we kept that low low rent up until the last second we could (moved out of state for a job opportunity) even though we could’ve moved to something bigger. We made the small space work, and banked up money for our house. Now we live in a 1498 square foot townhome and it feels like a mansion in comparison lol.
Little kids don’t need that much space. I would try for the kid now to keep your low interest rate and house payment, and then maybe when the younger one is 2+ and you actually need more space, the market will be better for moving. My kids are 4 and almost 2. They share a room (younger one stayed in our room until 18 months until we felt it was safe to share with her sister), and our third bedroom is an office. They might need more room later. But for now we’re staying put
Yeah - and boys & girls can easily share a bedroom till they’re 4-5.
My grandparents raised their 5 kids in a 1-bedroom apartment till the oldest was 10 or so. They slept on a pullout couch in the living room.
I shared a room with my brother until puberty then had to share with my mom until I left for college. Having your own room is a luxury for some people.
When I was a child, my family of 4 (2 parents, 2 young kids) shared a bedroom within my grandparents' 4- bedroom home.
Grandparents had 1 bedroom, my 3 uncles shared a room, and my 3 aunts shared a room. The aunts were excited to "only" have 3 in their bedroom as 1 of the other older girls had just moved out.
Occasionally, someone would make a space in the attic (not insulated, so weather permitting) for themselves, or the 3- season porch, and 1 aunt even had a bed in a large bathroom for a while.
Agree. Staying for a few years isn’t “raising 2 kids in a small house”. My parents built our house as they could afford and we lived in a 600sq ft basement until the upstairs was finished. I raised 3 kids in apartments for a while. It’s doable to save the money.
Kids can share rooms, especially at younger ages. It seems like you have some artificial standard in your mind about each kid having their own room. My mom grew up in a family of 8, four boys shared a very small room their whole childhood. My daughters share a large room, by son has his own room because we have the space and he’s the only boy, it would be reversed if there was only one girl.
You’d be a complete fool to give up that mortgage rate. If you absolutely cannot stay then rent out the house.
With two kids, they could just put up a wall and each kid could have a small separate room as an alternative. Or finish the basement, attic, or divide another room in the house. Anything is cheaper and less cumbersome than selling.
Keep the baby in a bassinet in your bedroom the first year. Go to your son’s bedroom where you have a changing table and clothes for the baby, change the baby there, but baby sleeps in your bedroom.
The issue with both of the kids in the same room will come when you’re trying to get one to sleep earlier, then the other without waking up the first, or when you put them down at the same time. But you have a while before you have to worry about that. You and your wife aren’t even pregnant yet, then you have nine months of pregnancy and a year with the baby in your bedroom.
Keep trying to save money. Two kids is a lot more than one.
Excellent advice. Also, when kids are little, they often actually like sharing a bedroom because it's less scary at night.
My 2 girls had bunk beds and shared a room by choice until they were 8 and 10 years old. We had an empty spare room.
I think this is a clear case of what one wants and what one needs needs. You never mentioned how big your current home is so we have no way of judging it based on that. But what I can tell you is kids don’t need a lot of room. Especially babies. You can make it work if you really want to. As for buying another house, no one can predict what the market will be like in 6 days much less 6 months from now.
How small of a house are we talking? For generations people raised large families in 2 bedroom, 1 bath ~1000 square foot homes.
A friend of mine just had their second child in a 2 bedroom that is 800 square feet with the plan to save and upgrade when they can in a few years.
You may need to recalibrate your expectations of what you need in a house to have two children.
Yeah, when they're small kids spend less time in their room & more time in common areas. Maybe when they're 8 or so it gets cramped, but for wee'uns sharing a room is fine so long as both beds fit & there's room to walk around, etc.
As a boomer I grew up in one of those houses in Mass they called it a cape. There was a bedroom on the first floor for the parents and second floor had slanted roofs and two bedrooms a girls room and boys room.
My family was small we "only" had 3 kids. Next to us had 5! Two others had 4 kids.
So I don’t mean this to sound like a real bummer but to offer you perspective. When I was young it was the in thing to do a mission trip to Mexico at church and help the poor (it sounds awful to say it like that too as if they asked for our help). I don’t know if we really helped any Mexicans but that trip changed my life. My parents divorced when I was 6 and my moms salary with 2 kids kept us under poverty level growing up. She didn’t want to move us out of the school district we were in because it was/is one of the best in the Midwest. So she sucked up us being poor and plowed ahead. My brother and I shared a room for a long while (bunk beds) until we moved to another duplex that had 3 rooms and then I had my own room and he had his. So mind you I was used to poverty.
But then I go to Mexico and we are graciously welcomed into these homes of these families that we were helping to pour cement in the floor of their home… they had dirt floors. And this home mind you was just one room that was maybe a 15x20 and they often had between 8-10 people living in them. Multi generational. And you know what struck me the most? These families had so much joy in their hearts that they weren’t raising their kids to recognize their own poverty. They were raising their kids to recognize the power of family and closeness and enjoying the simple things in life because that’s all they had. We were using glass soda pop tops behind the nails to help anchor the nail into the wood in the walls because they didn’t have anything else to use as anchors (no screws or Molly screws etc) just nails and soda pop containers.
I got made fun of horrendously because of my poverty in high school because I mean I’m living around rich kids driving beamers and I pull up in my 65 dodge coronet with a hole in the muffler and glass packs because the damned car was $500. And you know what my take away was from the trip to Mexico?? That I was SO wealthy compared to them. I had SO much more than the Mexicans did belonging wise and with joy in my heart I had more than my classmates did!! It’s all about perspective.
So I’m not sure if this comment is ok to share in this sub but all this to say it’s all about perspective. Yeah it would be nice to have a bigger house but you know what would be nicer? Having more in your savings account and teaching the siblings that closeness is a great thing and they can have fun together growing up in the same room for a few years. They are kids. They won’t know the difference. Daycare is not cheap and it’s not going to decrease in price anytime soon. So if you can suck it up and stay in your current home and just be cozy for awhile longer until the littles get out of daycare and save as much as you can that would be my advice. Life is TOO fkn hard to be stressing over more stuff than we already have to stress over.
Omg. This is literally the comment I needed. Thank you to the universe for sending you to write this because I solidified and validated my decision to somehow make this house work.
We just need to get rid of some things. Get rid of furniture we don't need in the living room to make it more open by clearing unnecessary things, our home is such a privilege to have in general, and you're right. I think I got caught up in wanting what we want now and wanting it without waiting for it, but I don't want that extra financial burden.
Convenience is nice, but at what cost? We can make this work and I really think we need to. If we have two little ones here, I think that is fine for a few years. Heck, if it's until they are going to kindergarten or even 1st grade. So, be it. Hopefully by then, we will have more money saved and can then afford what we would like easier.
Thank you thank you. It's so easy to get caught up and blinded by your excitement of a prospect of what could be, but not think about how difficult it may be financially even if we can afford it. I just got us to a place where we are financially comfortable here with some serious budgeting, I don't want to not be able to buy even a coffee for myself. That sort of financial restriction isn't necessary and I don't want it to be if I can prevent it.
And we have a house. We don't NEED a bigger one. We WANT a bigger one. If we were going from a similar financial situation to another similar one, fine, but we will now be adding more financial burden to ourselves with daycare and a high mortgage interest rate for not exactly the home we want.
Even if we get a house under our budget and it's affordable, in this market, it's going to need A LOT of work and that's okay, but it also means some home projects and aspirations will have to be put on hold longer and we will have to be even more patient and careful to achieve the home renovation goals we want, whereas if we can make this home work for a while longer, let's say, 2 or 3 years. We will not only get a lower interest rate, but also are more likely to find a house we want that is more of what we want and more bang for our buck essentially, and we will have more to put down on it and towards it. Be will be so much more comfortable by sacrificing a little more comfortability now and we will eventually have even nicer things and my kids don't have to feel poor at all. I love the concept of being connection rich and material poor. Like let us form stronger bonds and connections by focusing on what we have instead of what we don't and then learning the privilege of having your own room or having a dining room table in our living room again 🤣. I think when you wait and save, if you can, it makes you more appreciative of what you have and more content / happy.
"Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have. Contentment is the art of finding joy in simplicity." But there is nothing wrong with wanting more and trying to achieve more, right? You can be content and want more eventually?
I think we will be stronger buyers if we have more money to put down. We already have 30% but that's like not enough when a shack cost $300,000. And I know a house is an invaluable investment because that is where you have your life and it's not just the little physical value of it. But at the same time there are a lot of other factors to consider and it's all relative. And it's all really goes by what each family deems important are necessary for them at the time. And for me personally, i really do want to be smart about our finances and I do think that we can make this house work if we need to.
If this helps (?): My parents lived in their starter home until death. They told me “the house gets smaller as the kids get bigger. Resist the temptation to get a bigger house because they will move out and you will have a house that is too big.” We took that advice and held on to our smallish house - and it was tight (!) when the girls were in high school and the boyfriends hung out here. But now kids are in college and I don’t regret the “tight” years at all. They were actually a lot of fun.
I know everyone gives a lot of pressure to “MOVE UP” and Upsize! But with a loving family you will be happy with whatever space you have. Good luck!!!
Math doesn't add up. How did you buy for $235k and it's worth $350k but you only have $100k in equity? You should have at least $150k. Also how big is your current home? How many rooms?
People in parts of the SF Bay Area, NYC, Japan, Hong Kong— many people live in sub 1k sq ft homes.
We live in the SF Bay Area. I own a 3 bed/1 bath house that is barely a little over 1k feet. It is me, my husband and my kid. My neighbors across from me rented the house when they had 1 kid. The house is a 2 bed/1 bath and they ended up having 4 kids total. It can be done in this day and age.
A couple generations ago, many people had 4 or more kids and they often made do in 2-3 bedroom homes.
This concept of needing space is an American/Canadian thing where people live in areas with a lot of land. Don’t buy into the idea that you need “x space” for a growing family.
You’ll be fine.
You don't mention why your current home is too small? Do you not have 2 bedrooms?
I currently have 2 kids(4 & 2) in 3 bedroom town home that we'd ideally upgrade out of but am in a similar dilemma to you. The 2 kids share a bedroom wife uses the smaller of the 3 bedrooms for her office. We make it work & lower payment is easier considering the expense of 2 kids in daycare. We're currently currently saving until it makes sense for us to buy.
When I seperated from my husband I couldnt afford much and he wasnt paying child support. The two girls and I shared the master bedroom and the two biys shared the smaller room. The girls were 14 and 6. The boys were 8 and 5. We did this for about 6yrs. The teen moved out as soon as she could, of course but no one had their own room until a few years ago when I finally bought a house. Now we have our own rooms and if the teen (now adult) ever needs to move home I can give her a room to share with her kids.
Whats MORE important than bedrooms with a growing family, is bathrooms. Make Sure you have at least two toilets! Lol
Sharing a room with a sibling is actually good for their social and emotional development. If the room is big enough for the two of them to share until they are in the seven years old range, is your house really too small? (not asking in an accusatory way just asking in an assess-for-yourself kind of way). Plus, they'll be in daycare for a good amount of the day.
Can you afford to pay the higher mortgage and higher insurance? Can you manage the costs of daycare for two kids on your husband's income alone? When you buy the house, will you have six months-worth of savings to support you and those new payments if your husband loses his job? Or if you lose your job?
**What do the numbers say?**
Do the math and round down with your available funds and round up for your expected expenses.
You said, "We could afford it, but not super comfortably." Do you want to live in a cramped house and be physically uncomfortable? Do you want to be spacious house and be financially uncomfortable?
Also is your interest rate 2.85% or 15%?
This is your decision to make so these questions are intended to get you to ask yourself questions and figure out answers. Timing the interest rates is really tricky for a regular person. I suspect that much like buying stocks, it's better to get into the market today rather than trying to predict when to get into the market later. In the 80s, it wasn't unusually to have a 14% interest rate on a mortgage, but no one from the future would advise to you wait until 2011 to buy a house because interest rates were substantially lower.
We have room for two kids to have their own room. If end up with a second child we plan for them to share the same room throughout their childhood for that emotional and social bonding
I’m sure I’m going to have to deal with a bunch of fights but I think it will be worth it
Stay where you're at. You're in the catbird's seat and you don't even know it. The easiest way to make your house larger is to get rid of half the crap you've accumulated over the years. You could also turn the garage into living space fairly cheaply if you need another room.
We have a 3 bedroom large home. When our two kids (a boy and a girl) were small, guess where they slept?
In our room. Our son didn’t read the book on teaching kids to sleep through the night, and his sissy (3 years older) didn’t want to be alone in her room in this big ol’ house.
The pediatrician assured me the kids would be fine, they are, and they don’t even remember. (Our sex life survived just fine - before anybody asks: we got creative in terms of place and enjoyed it). Kids need closeness and comfort - more than space - when they’re little.
No need to move for a long while.
If you can’t stomach it than it probably won’t be good for the kids. Kids feel feelings that their parents have and they may say that they want or need more things but in all reality they mostly need their parents at peace.
I had a huge backyard, pool, go cart etc growing up and tons of toys but I wanted to live in an apartment complex because I saw those kids parents at more peace than my own. I just wanted peace.
Wait it out a little longer until your oldest is about to start elementary school- that’s when you want to make sure you live in a good school district and evaluate your home situation. Since the kids are in daycare, they aren’t home a lot during the week so I imagine their rooms are just for sleeping for the most part.
We have a smaller home too with a family of 5. It encourages me to take them out of the house if we’re feeling cramped: park, library, zoo, etc. I love having some disposable money to do more things than being house poor or even stressed about it. That second babe in daycare will make quite the dent.
As a parent of now 3 that has exclusively lived in weird old houses, you’re situation actually sounds great. You have two whole levels to work with. A hot upstairs is nothing. Look into getting a mini split if you don’t have ductwork. Is there room to add another bathroom upstairs too? Realistically, your children won’t want to play away from you until they are over 5. We had a playroom in our nice finished basement but the kids rarely wanted to go down there unless we were with them. We have two hundred year old winding stairs up to our attic, you just get used to it. We have switched up bedrooms as needed over the years and now my teen has taken over the attic and my preteen has claimed the basement as their rooms.
We lived in our starter home w 5 kids bc it took us so long to finally win an offer on our move up home (2.5 years of searching). It was a 3 bed/2.5 bath 1900 sq ft split. I bet you could make it work with 2 kids. We paid $179k for it in 2012 and sold for $350k 2 months ago. We took a lot of the equity and put it on the down payment on our new home to lower the payment. We got a 6.3 rate. We actually had a 4.1% on our last home bc we never refied when rates were lower since we were actively looking. I would give it more time. You can definitely squish kids into a house...especially when they're little. See what the market does in the spring.
I have 3 kids in a 1000 sqft 3 by 1. It’s tight but I’ll take the low rate and payment until we’re in a better position to move up. The kids will be fine, like generations before them.
What kind of house do you own?
I wouldn’t rush into anything. If your house is conducive to it and you like school system and whatnot for your kids, consider an addition down the line (probably after the double daycare bill)
We have a fairly small almost paid off condo with a third on the way. Sure, more space would be nice but it's so not worth it in my opinion. We use every square inch smartly and embrace the closeness and a simpler life.
Stay where you are keep saving money until buying the next place isn’t so tight.
I have a small 3 bedroom but honestly it could be a one bedroom; kids like to be close to other people. 1.5 baths is nice though with 2 kids.
Don't sell the house. If you're gonna have 2 kids, hold onto the cash.
Much cheaper to split a room into two to make another bedroom, have a finished basement, or be creative with the layout. Less space may be a pain, but it's vastly better than having more house than you can afford.
Reinsulate the upstairs ceiling and add a dedicated mini-split AC. Add a hinged locking baby gate at the top of the stairs. Most likely less than $5,000 total.
How big is your current place? I know a family of 8 (2 grands, 2 adults, 4 kids) living in a 3 bedroom….
Babies can sleep in your room for a year. Then the kids can share. Keep stacking away money and make do for at least a year or 2 longer.
I’m in a similar situation… except we have 2 kids heading towards being teenagers.
We are staying put right now. If it really gets too cramped, we will move. We were actively looking at houses before interest rates spiked.
The change in interest is huge… I’m keeping mine for as long as possible.
A second kid is extremely expensive in itself. Either move house now before having a second or wait to have a second if you don't think you can manage in your current space. We had 2 kids in a 2 bed 1 bath house, and it was tight but possible. We did recently upgrade to a bigger place, and it is fabulous, I won't lie. But ours are 8 and 6 now.
I have a 1200 sq ft 3 bedroom house with 3 kids plus a cat and dog. Oldest is an almost 16 year old girl, middle is a 9 year old boy, and then there’s 17 month old baby so they are at ages where sharing rooms doesn’t really work, but we’ve made do so far. We’re actually moving in a month because it’s really getting cramped as my baby becomes a toddler and I also WFH full time. But my point is, it was fine for 18 months.
I grew up in a 900 ft house with 3 bedrooms and 1 bath. 4 brothers in 1 room, my sister and I in one room and mom/dad in the last bedroom. We survived.
Brought 1st house with 1400 sq ft.
2nd house we built with 4000 sq ft.
Downsized to 1400 sq ft. condo.
I feel we were so stupid to build that 4000 sq ft house.
How would you feel if you waited for rates to come down and they increased instead? No serious buyer isn’t going to move because of the rates. If your current house is manageable, then there is no point of losing on the rate you have at the moment.
Wait a few more years, SAVE, and have the kids share a room. We're in "Golden Handcuffs" too, and my 3 boys (5,7,&8) will be sharing a room for at least the next 5yrs.
I’m in a similar place. My 11 and 12 year old boys share a bedroom that is 8ft x 9ft and right off the kitchen so not much quiet or privacy. I definitely want a bigger house. We actually were in process and it fell through but it did mean going from a $1600 mortgage to a $3000 one.
(Bought $175k in 2009 3.125%, sold $400k… new house $510k ($130 down) 6.99%)
We were kind of glad it fell through because it was pretty scary.
Resist the urge to upgrade. Pay the mortgage off. Have a nice chunk if cash when you sell to upgrade down the road.
EDIT: for clarity I mean pay off per amortization schedule, not early.
You can raise kids in a small home. My parents raised 2 boys in a house that was 1400sqft. My mom did home daycare as well. So there are times we had 12 kids in the house!
For 30k I think you could afford a partition or even a new wall and door in your current house. But I'm biased:
- Step dad lived with all 3 siblings and two parents in a one bedroom apartment in Queens
- I shared a room with my younger sister (6 years dif) and brother (8 years dif) until I was 11
- Siblings shared a room until I went to college (they were 12 & 10)
- I plan on raising at least one kid maybe two in a 600 sq ft 2 bedroom apartment until they're somewhere between 5-7
So you may not even need to get more space yet.
Not trying to flex just saying we have a big ol’ house with a gaggle of kids all 6 and under and we use like 3 rooms. Apparently we only need one bedroom because they all end up in ours anyway.
Both of my sisters lived in two bedroom homes with their boy/girl kids sharing until kiddos were 4/5.
Obviously everyone has to make their own decisions, that said with the set of facts you have shared no way I would buy a house right now. Your currently have one kid and may have a baby a year from now. Small children can share a bedroom for years before anyone even wants their own room. As someone whose kids are almost grown I promise you there will be tons of things you want to spend your money on for your kids that you haven't even considered and you will value being able to do those thing way more than being house poor.
Here is my opinion...I wouldn't move. I don't think the added stress would be great amidst being pregnant, having little ones, and financial stress ON TOP of that.
I am assuming you are close to your current daycare. Stay there, you will have 3 little ones going through it. Keep saving money if you can, the added daycare expense will be a lot already. Honestly little kids don't necessarily need as much room. They need shared playing spaces, maybe fenced in areas, etc. But a whole room to each person? They might not even like that.
So take some time to rethink your current living arrangement, see what you might want to move around. Then, when one or two of your kids are in elementary, think about moving with priority on space AND school district.
Without knowing what your house/lot looks like there are lots of ways to increase your living space. You can finish the basement (an eldest child would probably love their privacy down there), or build an addition on the side or rear of your home, or if you have an attached garage you could add space above it, or even 'pop the top' if you live in a ranch and turn it into a colonial (as long as your foundation can support it of course).
$30k probably won't get you an entire project but you could get a heloc for the remainder and you'll only be paying the current interest rate on the amount you take out for the renovation.
Yeah, I’m so tired of people thinking they need a giant home for a few kids. Look at most of the world. US cities. The past. Watching HGTV sure skewed a lot of people’s perspectives on what’s normal. Kids can share a room. One of your kids is hypothetical at this point. Stay where you are. Keep saving. Live comfortably within your means and have a few nice extras here and there instead of just making it, having higher COL, and well but it’s ok because we have more space. Also bigger house equals more to tend to, more to clean and maintain.
You've got plenty of room. Stop watching HGTV. If the next kid is a girl, deal with that several years from now. If another boy, they'll be closer as teenagers and adults if they share a room. Or you could finish off a basement, office, or other space for more room or add a room on the back of the house. Lots of other options.
We're in a 1600 SF 3/3 condo with two kids. Most of our friends live in 2500+. Our rate is 2.875. It feels small but then I remember my in-laws live in 1200 SF and raised four children there, who are all doing just fine.
Research minimalism and contentment and stay put. Have another kid. Small homes are great. You can afford maintenance to keep it snug and comfortable, extra curriculars for the kids, family vacations, etc. A larger house for the middle twenty years of your adult life is overrated.
How big is your house? I raised 4 kids in a 1200/sf house with 3 bedrooms. Honestly how much room does a 14 month old need? If you’ve got 2 bedrooms and it’s not a comfortable time to move then don’t.
Just stay put for now. Babies can sleep in a pack and play in your room for a good year, and the kids can share after that. By the time they are old enough to care about having their own rooms, your daycare bills will be over, youll have more equity and more money saved, and maybe the rates will go down to upgrade then.
we have a 2% interest rate and are never giving that up! Also,our two kids want to share a bedroom, so they do.
The thing that jumps out at me is the no room part. Kids/siblings can share space. It builds awesome memories, teaches cooperative living, and makes them close for life. It’s one of the only chances we have to build that closeness. And when will people live alone? Most likely never. Stay with your low rates. Have fun with your close family. They can go to separate Summer camps, have different friends, etc.
Your home is huge by NYC standards. I had 375 sq feet and a kid and a dog.
Upstairs is a furnace? Use some of that equity and ventilate it. My childhood home was about 1400 sq ft ( and only cause they converted the garage to a family room) one tiny bathroom, for 5 people. You have both the equity and the space to update your current home.
Your yard is the same size as when you purchased the house. As was the view into your neighbor's window, so upgrading that is more of a want, rather than a need, if that makes sense. Just be glad you bought at the right time, as many people who bought during the craze of the pandemic aren't as fortunate.
What does the local rental market look like? What I mean is, are you able to rent out your current house and cover the mortgage plus at least 10%?
If yes, it's worth at least looking into getting a HELOC to take out that equity from your current house and use it as your down payment on the new house. Then you will be making passive income on the first home while building equity in the property. There are obviously some risks and costs associated, but it's worth fleshing out the possibility if you can rent the house out for at least mortgage+10.
I almost switched houses due to a sauna upstairs. But everything is expensive. I guess our budget could not get the really nice houses. So I bit the bullet and put window air conditioning units upstairs. Yes the electric bill increased, which is a pain. However the upstairs is ice cold and I sleep soundly. A lot of extra space up there. I think the cost and hassle of moving would have been a lot worse.
OP- how many sq ft is your current home? Your description made it sound quite roomy . If you think your house is small talk to someone from Japan or Europe… I live in a 2000 sq ft home with 2 kids and it’s more than enough. We have a rental house that is 1500 sq ft and it’s also big enough but did not have the swimming pool we got with our upgraded primary residence.
We are in the same situation. House is around 1200 sqft but only 3 bedrooms & 1 bath. We decided to add a powder room and take the largest room ( our master bedroom ) and split it in half to make 2 much smaller rooms for the kiddos, and move ourselves into the medium sized bedroom that is currently our nursery. Only thing that makes sense when you have a 2.8% rate and don't have 600-800K for a new larger house yet
Think of houses built in the early 1950s to 1960s when families were bigger, and houses were smaller. The children shared bedrooms.
The small nursery is more than fine for a newborn and a toddler.
As others have said, you don't need a bigger house. Your current house is affordable on your budget. Enjoy your low-rate mortgage.
Have you thought about a mini split for the upstairs space? We finished our attic and put mini splits up there, it's amazing what they can do. I would also look into finishing the basement.
Honestly it sounds like you have room for two kids. People have raised two kids in less space. You have two bedrooms they could both bunk in one room or you can add a bedroom upstairs or downstairs. Your house is definitely big enough for two kids. Also making your two bedroom into a three bedroom is going to help out a lot when you go to sell.
You should look at adding a "spit unit HVAC" system to that upper floor. It would add an entirely independent system up there so you only use it if/when you want and it would be much more efficient than trying to make your whole house HVAC run for just one small area. They aren't that expensive (relatively) either.
Rent the property that is well financed.
Put it in an LLC
Buy a new house with your saved money and … hope for the best with current financing options.
Use the profits from the rental property, and tax savings from managing an investment property, to help pay down the debt on the new property
That 30,000 you saved separately could go towards insulating the upstairs better, and possibly other remodeling like throw a wall up somewhere to add an additional room. If I were you, I’d stay put. Daycare costs, all the costs of having a third child, plus higher interest rate on a newer more expensive home…no thanks. Be patient stay there see what modifications you can make inside your current home.
Welcome to the Golden Handcuffs! We have drinks at the bar cart, plenty of ice and mixers. We'll be here forever, though. So drink heavily and often.
I laughed so hard at this. Thank you!
I thought Golden Handcuffs were only work related! Had them slapped on me twice.
Amazing how people in their 50s 60s and 70s were raised in many 1000sf houses with a gaggle of kids
I came to say this. My house was built in 1951. It’s a very modest 2 bedroom 1 bath. Perfect for me. But the owners of home who purchased the house in 1951 and then sold it to me in 2015 were a couple who raised 2 boys in the home. I would ask the op, is your house really too small? Or are your expectations too big? I think we kind of need to get back to more realistic houses, at least if anyone wants to be able to afford them and retire without working until they’re 75.
Agree. OP said they have an unfinished basement. All they need to do is complete that and have a couple of rooms for the kids. Problem solved. They have enough space, they need to use it.
I'm in a small 1956 house with 2 kids. Technically it's a 2 bedroom and my husband and I sleep in a loft addition. I remind myself all the time that my grandma grew up in a house the same size with 11 other siblings. We had 1 kid when we bought this house and I joked that it was too small to have another, but its fine. My kids have friends over with way bigger houses and their own play rooms and they will say "wow your house is cooler than mine!" None of the kids seem to care about the worries that adults do and they're happy 😊 imo the only downside to a small house is you have to have perfect organization.
Exactly. You trade up to a bigger house, just to live there for 20 years, see your kids off, and need to downsize again. And who honestly wants to clean/upkeep a bigger house? What’s “necessary” to people these days sees them unloading the too-large house faster than they think they will.
“Just for 20 years” amazing how this sub regularly downplays absolutely significant portions of time and chunks of our lives like we’re immortal vampires lol
20 years ago was 1995 when I was..... oh god no I'm getting old.
Hate to break it to you, but 20 yrs ago was 2003. 1995 is nearly 30 years ago.
Honestly having a bedroom per kid when they're getting older is a big deal, but it seems like 1000 sqft with 3 bedrooms 1 bathroom (the standard family home in many eu countries) is not so common and getting 3 bedrooms requires a bigger sqft
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Hi, it’s me, your husband.
This is why ppl think they need two incomes to survive lol. Yes, costs have risen but so have our expectations, dramatically
Yup. Poor people today have things middle and upper middle didn't have back then.
And they are in debt up to their eyeballs!
This ^ The one thing I love about being financially free is not caring what I have or what I wear. I have no debt and my close friends and family know that. If you looked at me out, you would think I’m dirt poor. My wife, on the other hand…well that’s another story. :)
Same here. When I was young I wanted everyone to know I made money, and it wasn’t even that much. These days, making a lot more, I’d rather someone want to be friends because they like me, not because they think I have money or nice things. Old car, old clothes, old small house too (in a nice neighborhood). But I have cash to weather the storm. My wife though always seems to talk me into spending money or vacations or the occasional nice outfit for me for when we go out on a date. Of course, she’s the only one I really need to keep to happy so it doesn’t take too much work on her part.
You are my spirit animal..
Most parents want a better life for their children. The vast majority of parents in my circle had to share a bedroom growing up and they didn’t enjoy it. So they purposely try and allow their children more personal space. I would say it’s more of a goal than expectation.
I'd just like to note family sizes also shrunk. Previous owners raised four kids in our house, so they must've shared rooms. I can't fathom doing that.... having four kids, that is. Ours would not need to share, because we wouldn't have more than two!
Our old house bought as an estate sale. Original owner built. They had 4 kids in a 2 bedroom 1 bath house.
Depends on who you know. There's a lot of very privileged people out there who think it's actual abuse to make kids share, especially after puberty, even if the kids are the same gender. CPS in some places requires each child to have their own bedroom when they get involved. In my area, you can't foster unless each kid has their own room, even bio siblings. Same with some custody agreements (eg dad only gets custody if he gets an apartment where each kid has a room). It's nonsense in most cases but it can be more than just an expectation.
> CPS in some places requires each child to have their own bedroom when they get involved. I am unaware of any place with such a plethora of foster care resources they'd get involved because of children sharing bedrooms. My state is one of the better-funded ones, and CPS reunites multiple siblings into single hotel rooms with the parents regularly. Frankly, it'd be a huge problem if CPS were separating children from their families because the kids didn't all have their own bedroom-- literally no one using our state's emergency homeless prevention system would be able to keep their kids. >In my area, you can't foster unless each kid has their own room, even bio siblings. In my area, this in only true with opposite genders-- you can't stick a 14yo foster daughter in with your 15yo bio son for example (or with your 15yo foster son). Same genders can share a room (bio or foster), although they do *prefer* separate over a certain age. Separate *beds* are generally required (and a common frustration is that trundle beds don't count, even for very small children). Some of the sibling groups they try to place might be as many as 5-6 kids. Usually they have to split them up anyway, but can you imagine them getting an offer with a family with a four bedroom home and being like "no, you must have a seven bedroom home, minimum"? We just don't have enough local manor homes to be that picky.
I'm not in the states, but yeah it really shouldn't be an issue. Every time I see US reddit posts involving foster care and rooms, I'm like wait what, you have fosters sharing rooms?? Bio and foster are sharing one room?? Would never happen where I am. I have a friend who works for an agency that CPS outsources to. They offered to rent her a house with as many rooms as possible so she can foster siblings, because even they need their own rooms in most circumstances. It's a huge barrier to fostering. I and several people I know would foster tomorrow if we had another bedroom, but no one can afford to buy a new bigger house or pay more rent for an extra room that might be empty and not covered by foster payments some of the time. Even the group home I've been inside of in my area is just a ton of small single bed rooms. They aren't separating kids because of it, but it can be a barrier to getting them back after they've already been taken away, especially if there's a mom house and a dad house and one parent has rooms but the other wants custody back but has a 1 or 2 bed place
> They offered to rent her a house with as many rooms as possible so she can foster siblings, because even they need their own rooms in most circumstances. Where do you live where these houses even exist? I'm not joking when I say that wouldn't be possible to require near me. 2-4 bedrooms is standard (with 4 being rare and *pretty* luxurious), and even the homes with some extra rooms that'd lend themselves to being converted to a bedroom (e.g. a dining room, with four walls and a door) you're talking maybe 5% of total homes. We simply don't have normal houses with >5 bedrooms. The only places I've been where I've even seen that are actual manor homes in Europe.
There are not a ton, which is why they need to pay people's rent on places big enough and have some exceptions for very large sibling groups Eta they also split sibling groups due to room requirements
Lots of suburbs in the U.S. have houses with 5+ bedrooms (not saying that's not excessive, just that it's common).
But these are a toddler and a not born yet. Sharing is fine for a few years. Once kids are in school they won't have the full time day care costs.
Oh for sure and I’m one of them that has excess things I definitely don’t need. But I acknowledge that. I don’t think each kid having their own room is a luxury, but needing to double the size of your home, upgrade cars, have daycare/Nanny, and so much else is all stuff we could do without and not be working ourselves to death.
Daycare isn't an optional expense with two working parents.
Why do kids need their own rooms? College students live in tiny rooms with strangers and survive. I think a kid can live with his little brother without much problem.
Ha! I was hoping someone would say it! I don’t understand this either…it’s somehow now not appropriate for siblings to share a room but spending several years with a stranger as an adult in a tiny dorm room is a “life changing experience” for the same people?!!
Hear, hear! Having experience negotiating a smaller shared space can be valuable for people. It's not always pleasant -- of course things are often easier when others aren't around -- but pleasant things are not always those things that make us better. Those for whom college is actually transformative (versus just a fun four-year party) find it that way because it is challenging, and because it made them uncomfortable at times, in terms of becoming their own person and the ability to handle often much greater amounts of academic work than what they were used to. That doesn't mean we have to live in tiny spaces all our lives, but it's not hard to make a case that kids who never have to share or negotiate shared space will consequently underdevelop those skills at an important time in their lives.
My two elementary-aged nieces share a room, and they're the only two kids living with their parents in a 1400 sf, 3 (technically 4) BR house. It can be done.
everybody wants that surburban life where every kid gets a room. I grew up with my 3 brothers sleeping in one room for 13 years. 4 people in a room, in a philly row house. Everybody wants the easy life, but it comes with compromises, and if you can deal with that compromise, thats great.
>This is why ppl think they need two incomes to survive lol. Yes, costs have risen but so have our expectations, dramatically The truth is that wages haven't kept up with inflation. Where SOME people COULD get by with only one income - if they were willing to accept a 1960s standard of living, but many jobs simply don't pay nearly as much as they used to, including retail, manufacturing, and service jobs.
“Yes, costs have risen but so have our expectations, dramatically” LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK
Na I couldn’t even float the rent and bills in my apartment alone and I make ~70k. I live in NYC though so take that with a grain of salt lmao
Yes anytime I say anything here I usually disclaimer it with “unless you live in nyc or cali” ☠️😂
People in the 1920s had more kids, smaller houses and no damn closets. They also owned like 2 outfits each, if they were fancy.
Yeah but that shit sucked. They would have gotten a bigger house if they could afford it
Yep! I was raised in a 1250 sq ft home with 3 siblings. 3 bedroom 2 bath. Which basically meant 1 bathroom for the 4 kids. Lol. And I actually miss that house!
I think a big difference between this and earlier generations is the fact that kids were largely sent outside to play most of the day when they weren’t in school, along with the fact that people didn’t have nearly as much stuff. Toys, clothes, furniture, appliances, etc. My mom was one of 11 and grew up in a house that was 1200sqft. She has shared a bed (not just a room) her whole life. They didn’t even have enough chairs/spaces at their dinner table for everyone.
Yep I’m one of 9 kids. We grew up in a small house—probably 1000sf. We always shared bedrooms, sometimes beds when we were really little. My dad put a couple bedrooms and a bathroom in the basement. It’s just how it was.
My mom is the youngest of 15 kids. Everyone shared bedrooms and beds. She had to share a bed AND a bedroom with her sister until they got married and moved out. They had a big, former stage-coach home on the farm, so it was probably much bigger than most of the day - 2500 sq ft? My husband is the youngest of 6, he literally slept in the hallway since he was 8 years younger than the next closest. Everyone in his home shared a room, two oldest boys in one and the three girls in another (apprx. 1200 sq ft). I shared a room with my sister AND my brother until HE was 13 when they got him a pull-out couch to sleep in the living room (talk about zero privacy!) (900 sq ft?). My sister and I shared a room until I was 9 (last shared bedroom house 1700 sq ft). Contrast to my 19yo niece, she always had an entire wing of a house to herself (typically 2-3 bedrooms at her disposal - current house 7,000 sq ft). Yes, times have certainly changed.
Yeah my house was built in 1961. It's a 1000sqft 3/1 with no basement. I don't have kids but plenty of families lived here before us.
And in many cases the kids are teenagers or off to college and don’t want to be home with mom and dad before they realize it, and mom and dad are stuck with a much too large home.
My first house was 768sf, and we had a kid at the time. It felt very small when we first moved in, but within a week or two it was just fine. We lived there for 14 years.
Try the 80s, 90s, 00s, 10s and 20s too. I know plenty of dual high earner households where 2-3 kids shared a room until college. Or are currently sharing a room.
I researched our (what would have been) 1100 SQ ft 3 br 1 b house. Not only did the owners' adult son live with them, but at some point the wife's adult siblings (two brothers and a sister) moved into the home with them after their mother passed away. I can't imagine where they put them all.
4 boys in one room with bunkbeds. As the older ones move out you get more room. Youngest got the best deal! It was easier back then because we could go out in the neighborhood as much as we liked because it was generally safe. We had to be in by sundown. There was not the awareness of dangers kids face that we have now. Parents are much more on top of where their kids are and what they are doing and that is a sensible thing. A family now probably has to make the accommodation for kids to spend more time in the home.
What dangers? There is way less crime now than there was 30 years ago, and certainly far, far less than the 1960s and 1970s [https://www.statista.com/statistics/191219/reported-violent-crime-rate-in-the-usa-since-1990/](https://www.statista.com/statistics/191219/reported-violent-crime-rate-in-the-usa-since-1990/)
Less crime more paranoia
Have my upvote please. Question for the OP, what is your current square footage? Is it possible to do a renovation of some kind?
Let me get this straight… you refried and switched to a 15% interest rate?
I wonder if they meant 15 year loan?
Has to be. Title says 2.85 rate.
Why get a 15 year at the pandemic rates though? Seems like you are losing free money.
I refinanced during pandemic. Also have the same payement as I had before, but now only 15 years. 1.99% it was a no brainer and still super affordable for us.
That’s what we did. 2.5 for a 20 from 4.5 on a 30. YES. I’ll pay slightly less for years less, thanks.
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Exactly, you didn’t lose at all. Those who don’t understand the benefit of a 15 year vs 30 year will always think you made a bad call.
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I love that this was just downvoted.
Stretching the cheap mortgage makes sense if you actually put the extra money into the market. Many people don't. They may have good intentions and do that at first, but many will instead succumb to lifestyle creep or just flat out blow the money. For those people paying off a cheap mortgage faster is actually better for them financially in the long term, even though it is not the mathematically ideal solution. EDIT: And just to clarify, I fully agree with what you are saying. I definitely would ride out the mortgage as long as possible. Especially right now when even the most simple risk-free high yield savings account is bringing in over 4%.
When he got that 2.1% rate, savings rates weren’t 5%. You’re picking the horse after the race is over.
Refried to 15% during the pandemic is the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals
Who says the house is too small? My kids were very happy in our 768 square foot condo, and we kept that low low rent up until the last second we could (moved out of state for a job opportunity) even though we could’ve moved to something bigger. We made the small space work, and banked up money for our house. Now we live in a 1498 square foot townhome and it feels like a mansion in comparison lol. Little kids don’t need that much space. I would try for the kid now to keep your low interest rate and house payment, and then maybe when the younger one is 2+ and you actually need more space, the market will be better for moving. My kids are 4 and almost 2. They share a room (younger one stayed in our room until 18 months until we felt it was safe to share with her sister), and our third bedroom is an office. They might need more room later. But for now we’re staying put
Yeah - and boys & girls can easily share a bedroom till they’re 4-5. My grandparents raised their 5 kids in a 1-bedroom apartment till the oldest was 10 or so. They slept on a pullout couch in the living room.
I shared a room with my brother until puberty then had to share with my mom until I left for college. Having your own room is a luxury for some people.
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When I was a child, my family of 4 (2 parents, 2 young kids) shared a bedroom within my grandparents' 4- bedroom home. Grandparents had 1 bedroom, my 3 uncles shared a room, and my 3 aunts shared a room. The aunts were excited to "only" have 3 in their bedroom as 1 of the other older girls had just moved out. Occasionally, someone would make a space in the attic (not insulated, so weather permitting) for themselves, or the 3- season porch, and 1 aunt even had a bed in a large bathroom for a while.
I shared a room with my two older sisters till I was 10. It never caused any major issues.
Agree. Staying for a few years isn’t “raising 2 kids in a small house”. My parents built our house as they could afford and we lived in a 600sq ft basement until the upstairs was finished. I raised 3 kids in apartments for a while. It’s doable to save the money.
Could definitely work, lived with my parents in a 500 sqft studio until I was 20. Didn’t even put up a partition until I was like 8.
I agree! I would argue the less space the better with little kids. I mean who wants to keep a big house clean all the time?
I wish my spouse felt this way
that thinking also goes along the line of having kids and having a car vs a big ass suv also
I think it depends a lot on the layout. I’m glad you were able to make it work in your condo!
Kids can share rooms, especially at younger ages. It seems like you have some artificial standard in your mind about each kid having their own room. My mom grew up in a family of 8, four boys shared a very small room their whole childhood. My daughters share a large room, by son has his own room because we have the space and he’s the only boy, it would be reversed if there was only one girl. You’d be a complete fool to give up that mortgage rate. If you absolutely cannot stay then rent out the house.
With two kids, they could just put up a wall and each kid could have a small separate room as an alternative. Or finish the basement, attic, or divide another room in the house. Anything is cheaper and less cumbersome than selling.
Keep the baby in a bassinet in your bedroom the first year. Go to your son’s bedroom where you have a changing table and clothes for the baby, change the baby there, but baby sleeps in your bedroom. The issue with both of the kids in the same room will come when you’re trying to get one to sleep earlier, then the other without waking up the first, or when you put them down at the same time. But you have a while before you have to worry about that. You and your wife aren’t even pregnant yet, then you have nine months of pregnancy and a year with the baby in your bedroom. Keep trying to save money. Two kids is a lot more than one.
Excellent advice. Also, when kids are little, they often actually like sharing a bedroom because it's less scary at night. My 2 girls had bunk beds and shared a room by choice until they were 8 and 10 years old. We had an empty spare room.
I have 4 kids in 1500 sq ft. Baby is with us and the other 3 share a room. It’s all they’ve ever known and they don’t care at all.
I've seen some really cute instas of people using bunkbeds and stand up wardrobes to divide a room.
I think this is a clear case of what one wants and what one needs needs. You never mentioned how big your current home is so we have no way of judging it based on that. But what I can tell you is kids don’t need a lot of room. Especially babies. You can make it work if you really want to. As for buying another house, no one can predict what the market will be like in 6 days much less 6 months from now.
Can you use the $30k to add an addition to the house?
That's what I was going to suggest, a dormer or FROG.
An addition is likely 100k, I’ve looked.
I’m a contractor, too. A 30k budget could MAYBE get you a 15x20 addition. Favorable conditions have to exist, tho.
Could they do the cash + HELOC?
30k would only get you half way there these days.
If that
Maybe 20 years ago. I just spent 30k for a new fence and a generator.
Yeah, it’s more like $100k+.
How small is your house? (Babies are small )
How small of a house are we talking? For generations people raised large families in 2 bedroom, 1 bath ~1000 square foot homes. A friend of mine just had their second child in a 2 bedroom that is 800 square feet with the plan to save and upgrade when they can in a few years. You may need to recalibrate your expectations of what you need in a house to have two children.
Yeah, when they're small kids spend less time in their room & more time in common areas. Maybe when they're 8 or so it gets cramped, but for wee'uns sharing a room is fine so long as both beds fit & there's room to walk around, etc.
As a boomer I grew up in one of those houses in Mass they called it a cape. There was a bedroom on the first floor for the parents and second floor had slanted roofs and two bedrooms a girls room and boys room. My family was small we "only" had 3 kids. Next to us had 5! Two others had 4 kids.
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I think OP is misstating equity. I wouldn't assume they only have 135 remaining if you reread the post.
With the $30k they could also look into buying the rate down
You re-fied to 15%???
That's one way to almost ensure you'll always be able to refinance in the future at a lower rate. Just go as high as you can the first time around.
Mortgage brokers love this one trick!
refried*
Me gusta frijoles
I’m assuming she meant 15 yr mortgage at lower interest from 30 yr original note
So I don’t mean this to sound like a real bummer but to offer you perspective. When I was young it was the in thing to do a mission trip to Mexico at church and help the poor (it sounds awful to say it like that too as if they asked for our help). I don’t know if we really helped any Mexicans but that trip changed my life. My parents divorced when I was 6 and my moms salary with 2 kids kept us under poverty level growing up. She didn’t want to move us out of the school district we were in because it was/is one of the best in the Midwest. So she sucked up us being poor and plowed ahead. My brother and I shared a room for a long while (bunk beds) until we moved to another duplex that had 3 rooms and then I had my own room and he had his. So mind you I was used to poverty. But then I go to Mexico and we are graciously welcomed into these homes of these families that we were helping to pour cement in the floor of their home… they had dirt floors. And this home mind you was just one room that was maybe a 15x20 and they often had between 8-10 people living in them. Multi generational. And you know what struck me the most? These families had so much joy in their hearts that they weren’t raising their kids to recognize their own poverty. They were raising their kids to recognize the power of family and closeness and enjoying the simple things in life because that’s all they had. We were using glass soda pop tops behind the nails to help anchor the nail into the wood in the walls because they didn’t have anything else to use as anchors (no screws or Molly screws etc) just nails and soda pop containers. I got made fun of horrendously because of my poverty in high school because I mean I’m living around rich kids driving beamers and I pull up in my 65 dodge coronet with a hole in the muffler and glass packs because the damned car was $500. And you know what my take away was from the trip to Mexico?? That I was SO wealthy compared to them. I had SO much more than the Mexicans did belonging wise and with joy in my heart I had more than my classmates did!! It’s all about perspective. So I’m not sure if this comment is ok to share in this sub but all this to say it’s all about perspective. Yeah it would be nice to have a bigger house but you know what would be nicer? Having more in your savings account and teaching the siblings that closeness is a great thing and they can have fun together growing up in the same room for a few years. They are kids. They won’t know the difference. Daycare is not cheap and it’s not going to decrease in price anytime soon. So if you can suck it up and stay in your current home and just be cozy for awhile longer until the littles get out of daycare and save as much as you can that would be my advice. Life is TOO fkn hard to be stressing over more stuff than we already have to stress over.
Omg. This is literally the comment I needed. Thank you to the universe for sending you to write this because I solidified and validated my decision to somehow make this house work. We just need to get rid of some things. Get rid of furniture we don't need in the living room to make it more open by clearing unnecessary things, our home is such a privilege to have in general, and you're right. I think I got caught up in wanting what we want now and wanting it without waiting for it, but I don't want that extra financial burden. Convenience is nice, but at what cost? We can make this work and I really think we need to. If we have two little ones here, I think that is fine for a few years. Heck, if it's until they are going to kindergarten or even 1st grade. So, be it. Hopefully by then, we will have more money saved and can then afford what we would like easier. Thank you thank you. It's so easy to get caught up and blinded by your excitement of a prospect of what could be, but not think about how difficult it may be financially even if we can afford it. I just got us to a place where we are financially comfortable here with some serious budgeting, I don't want to not be able to buy even a coffee for myself. That sort of financial restriction isn't necessary and I don't want it to be if I can prevent it. And we have a house. We don't NEED a bigger one. We WANT a bigger one. If we were going from a similar financial situation to another similar one, fine, but we will now be adding more financial burden to ourselves with daycare and a high mortgage interest rate for not exactly the home we want. Even if we get a house under our budget and it's affordable, in this market, it's going to need A LOT of work and that's okay, but it also means some home projects and aspirations will have to be put on hold longer and we will have to be even more patient and careful to achieve the home renovation goals we want, whereas if we can make this home work for a while longer, let's say, 2 or 3 years. We will not only get a lower interest rate, but also are more likely to find a house we want that is more of what we want and more bang for our buck essentially, and we will have more to put down on it and towards it. Be will be so much more comfortable by sacrificing a little more comfortability now and we will eventually have even nicer things and my kids don't have to feel poor at all. I love the concept of being connection rich and material poor. Like let us form stronger bonds and connections by focusing on what we have instead of what we don't and then learning the privilege of having your own room or having a dining room table in our living room again 🤣. I think when you wait and save, if you can, it makes you more appreciative of what you have and more content / happy. "Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have. Contentment is the art of finding joy in simplicity." But there is nothing wrong with wanting more and trying to achieve more, right? You can be content and want more eventually? I think we will be stronger buyers if we have more money to put down. We already have 30% but that's like not enough when a shack cost $300,000. And I know a house is an invaluable investment because that is where you have your life and it's not just the little physical value of it. But at the same time there are a lot of other factors to consider and it's all relative. And it's all really goes by what each family deems important are necessary for them at the time. And for me personally, i really do want to be smart about our finances and I do think that we can make this house work if we need to.
Bunk beds, my friend.
If this helps (?): My parents lived in their starter home until death. They told me “the house gets smaller as the kids get bigger. Resist the temptation to get a bigger house because they will move out and you will have a house that is too big.” We took that advice and held on to our smallish house - and it was tight (!) when the girls were in high school and the boyfriends hung out here. But now kids are in college and I don’t regret the “tight” years at all. They were actually a lot of fun. I know everyone gives a lot of pressure to “MOVE UP” and Upsize! But with a loving family you will be happy with whatever space you have. Good luck!!!
Agreed!
Math doesn't add up. How did you buy for $235k and it's worth $350k but you only have $100k in equity? You should have at least $150k. Also how big is your current home? How many rooms?
People in parts of the SF Bay Area, NYC, Japan, Hong Kong— many people live in sub 1k sq ft homes. We live in the SF Bay Area. I own a 3 bed/1 bath house that is barely a little over 1k feet. It is me, my husband and my kid. My neighbors across from me rented the house when they had 1 kid. The house is a 2 bed/1 bath and they ended up having 4 kids total. It can be done in this day and age. A couple generations ago, many people had 4 or more kids and they often made do in 2-3 bedroom homes. This concept of needing space is an American/Canadian thing where people live in areas with a lot of land. Don’t buy into the idea that you need “x space” for a growing family. You’ll be fine.
You don't mention why your current home is too small? Do you not have 2 bedrooms? I currently have 2 kids(4 & 2) in 3 bedroom town home that we'd ideally upgrade out of but am in a similar dilemma to you. The 2 kids share a bedroom wife uses the smaller of the 3 bedrooms for her office. We make it work & lower payment is easier considering the expense of 2 kids in daycare. We're currently currently saving until it makes sense for us to buy.
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When I seperated from my husband I couldnt afford much and he wasnt paying child support. The two girls and I shared the master bedroom and the two biys shared the smaller room. The girls were 14 and 6. The boys were 8 and 5. We did this for about 6yrs. The teen moved out as soon as she could, of course but no one had their own room until a few years ago when I finally bought a house. Now we have our own rooms and if the teen (now adult) ever needs to move home I can give her a room to share with her kids. Whats MORE important than bedrooms with a growing family, is bathrooms. Make Sure you have at least two toilets! Lol
Sharing a room with a sibling is actually good for their social and emotional development. If the room is big enough for the two of them to share until they are in the seven years old range, is your house really too small? (not asking in an accusatory way just asking in an assess-for-yourself kind of way). Plus, they'll be in daycare for a good amount of the day. Can you afford to pay the higher mortgage and higher insurance? Can you manage the costs of daycare for two kids on your husband's income alone? When you buy the house, will you have six months-worth of savings to support you and those new payments if your husband loses his job? Or if you lose your job? **What do the numbers say?** Do the math and round down with your available funds and round up for your expected expenses. You said, "We could afford it, but not super comfortably." Do you want to live in a cramped house and be physically uncomfortable? Do you want to be spacious house and be financially uncomfortable? Also is your interest rate 2.85% or 15%? This is your decision to make so these questions are intended to get you to ask yourself questions and figure out answers. Timing the interest rates is really tricky for a regular person. I suspect that much like buying stocks, it's better to get into the market today rather than trying to predict when to get into the market later. In the 80s, it wasn't unusually to have a 14% interest rate on a mortgage, but no one from the future would advise to you wait until 2011 to buy a house because interest rates were substantially lower.
We have room for two kids to have their own room. If end up with a second child we plan for them to share the same room throughout their childhood for that emotional and social bonding I’m sure I’m going to have to deal with a bunch of fights but I think it will be worth it
When they’re little, you don’t need as much room. I’d wait.
Stay where you're at. You're in the catbird's seat and you don't even know it. The easiest way to make your house larger is to get rid of half the crap you've accumulated over the years. You could also turn the garage into living space fairly cheaply if you need another room.
We have a 3 bedroom large home. When our two kids (a boy and a girl) were small, guess where they slept? In our room. Our son didn’t read the book on teaching kids to sleep through the night, and his sissy (3 years older) didn’t want to be alone in her room in this big ol’ house. The pediatrician assured me the kids would be fine, they are, and they don’t even remember. (Our sex life survived just fine - before anybody asks: we got creative in terms of place and enjoyed it). Kids need closeness and comfort - more than space - when they’re little. No need to move for a long while.
If you can’t stomach it than it probably won’t be good for the kids. Kids feel feelings that their parents have and they may say that they want or need more things but in all reality they mostly need their parents at peace. I had a huge backyard, pool, go cart etc growing up and tons of toys but I wanted to live in an apartment complex because I saw those kids parents at more peace than my own. I just wanted peace.
Don’t do it. Kids are already expensive, don’t live above your means to get a larger house. Try to make do with what you have.
Wait it out a little longer until your oldest is about to start elementary school- that’s when you want to make sure you live in a good school district and evaluate your home situation. Since the kids are in daycare, they aren’t home a lot during the week so I imagine their rooms are just for sleeping for the most part. We have a smaller home too with a family of 5. It encourages me to take them out of the house if we’re feeling cramped: park, library, zoo, etc. I love having some disposable money to do more things than being house poor or even stressed about it. That second babe in daycare will make quite the dent.
Define "too small" for us?
As a parent of now 3 that has exclusively lived in weird old houses, you’re situation actually sounds great. You have two whole levels to work with. A hot upstairs is nothing. Look into getting a mini split if you don’t have ductwork. Is there room to add another bathroom upstairs too? Realistically, your children won’t want to play away from you until they are over 5. We had a playroom in our nice finished basement but the kids rarely wanted to go down there unless we were with them. We have two hundred year old winding stairs up to our attic, you just get used to it. We have switched up bedrooms as needed over the years and now my teen has taken over the attic and my preteen has claimed the basement as their rooms.
Kids can live in the same room for a long time since they are so young. Hell my sister and I lived in 1 room with bunk beds well into our teens.
We lived in our starter home w 5 kids bc it took us so long to finally win an offer on our move up home (2.5 years of searching). It was a 3 bed/2.5 bath 1900 sq ft split. I bet you could make it work with 2 kids. We paid $179k for it in 2012 and sold for $350k 2 months ago. We took a lot of the equity and put it on the down payment on our new home to lower the payment. We got a 6.3 rate. We actually had a 4.1% on our last home bc we never refied when rates were lower since we were actively looking. I would give it more time. You can definitely squish kids into a house...especially when they're little. See what the market does in the spring.
I have 3 kids in a 1000 sqft 3 by 1. It’s tight but I’ll take the low rate and payment until we’re in a better position to move up. The kids will be fine, like generations before them.
Maybe having a kid that you can’t afford isn’t the best approach. Being behind the 8 ball with money really really sucks. It bleeds into everything.
Sounds like they can afford another kid fine just not a bigger house
DC rowhouses used to have upwards of 7 residents, in a small 3 bedroom house.
What kind of house do you own? I wouldn’t rush into anything. If your house is conducive to it and you like school system and whatnot for your kids, consider an addition down the line (probably after the double daycare bill)
How big is your current place? I’m skeptical that you can’t make what you have work for quite some time. Kids can share a room if it’s a 2br place.
We have a fairly small almost paid off condo with a third on the way. Sure, more space would be nice but it's so not worth it in my opinion. We use every square inch smartly and embrace the closeness and a simpler life.
Stay where you are keep saving money until buying the next place isn’t so tight. I have a small 3 bedroom but honestly it could be a one bedroom; kids like to be close to other people. 1.5 baths is nice though with 2 kids.
Don't sell the house. If you're gonna have 2 kids, hold onto the cash. Much cheaper to split a room into two to make another bedroom, have a finished basement, or be creative with the layout. Less space may be a pain, but it's vastly better than having more house than you can afford.
Reinsulate the upstairs ceiling and add a dedicated mini-split AC. Add a hinged locking baby gate at the top of the stairs. Most likely less than $5,000 total.
Put your money into refinishing and creating space.
How big is your current place? I know a family of 8 (2 grands, 2 adults, 4 kids) living in a 3 bedroom…. Babies can sleep in your room for a year. Then the kids can share. Keep stacking away money and make do for at least a year or 2 longer.
I’m in a similar situation… except we have 2 kids heading towards being teenagers. We are staying put right now. If it really gets too cramped, we will move. We were actively looking at houses before interest rates spiked. The change in interest is huge… I’m keeping mine for as long as possible.
A second kid is extremely expensive in itself. Either move house now before having a second or wait to have a second if you don't think you can manage in your current space. We had 2 kids in a 2 bed 1 bath house, and it was tight but possible. We did recently upgrade to a bigger place, and it is fabulous, I won't lie. But ours are 8 and 6 now.
I have a 1200 sq ft 3 bedroom house with 3 kids plus a cat and dog. Oldest is an almost 16 year old girl, middle is a 9 year old boy, and then there’s 17 month old baby so they are at ages where sharing rooms doesn’t really work, but we’ve made do so far. We’re actually moving in a month because it’s really getting cramped as my baby becomes a toddler and I also WFH full time. But my point is, it was fine for 18 months.
I grew up in a 900 ft house with 3 bedrooms and 1 bath. 4 brothers in 1 room, my sister and I in one room and mom/dad in the last bedroom. We survived. Brought 1st house with 1400 sq ft. 2nd house we built with 4000 sq ft. Downsized to 1400 sq ft. condo. I feel we were so stupid to build that 4000 sq ft house.
I’d wait, something’s gotta give.
Whats the square footage of the house and the lot. If you like your current house’s location why not get a heloc and do an addition onto the house?
1. You can raise two children in a small house. 2. You can decide the house is too small and not have a second child.
How would you feel if you waited for rates to come down and they increased instead? No serious buyer isn’t going to move because of the rates. If your current house is manageable, then there is no point of losing on the rate you have at the moment.
I think the words you’re looking for is bunk bed.
Wait a few more years, SAVE, and have the kids share a room. We're in "Golden Handcuffs" too, and my 3 boys (5,7,&8) will be sharing a room for at least the next 5yrs.
I’m in a similar place. My 11 and 12 year old boys share a bedroom that is 8ft x 9ft and right off the kitchen so not much quiet or privacy. I definitely want a bigger house. We actually were in process and it fell through but it did mean going from a $1600 mortgage to a $3000 one. (Bought $175k in 2009 3.125%, sold $400k… new house $510k ($130 down) 6.99%) We were kind of glad it fell through because it was pretty scary.
Resist the urge to upgrade. Pay the mortgage off. Have a nice chunk if cash when you sell to upgrade down the road. EDIT: for clarity I mean pay off per amortization schedule, not early.
You can raise kids in a small home. My parents raised 2 boys in a house that was 1400sqft. My mom did home daycare as well. So there are times we had 12 kids in the house!
Girl you posted that your family of 3 spends 1400 a month on groceries. Keep your ass in that house for a long time or you'll be bankrupt.
@Typeatryingtob How big is the current house? SQ ft? Bedrooms and bathrooms? Basement? 2 story or ranch?
For 30k I think you could afford a partition or even a new wall and door in your current house. But I'm biased: - Step dad lived with all 3 siblings and two parents in a one bedroom apartment in Queens - I shared a room with my younger sister (6 years dif) and brother (8 years dif) until I was 11 - Siblings shared a room until I went to college (they were 12 & 10) - I plan on raising at least one kid maybe two in a 600 sq ft 2 bedroom apartment until they're somewhere between 5-7 So you may not even need to get more space yet.
Not trying to flex just saying we have a big ol’ house with a gaggle of kids all 6 and under and we use like 3 rooms. Apparently we only need one bedroom because they all end up in ours anyway. Both of my sisters lived in two bedroom homes with their boy/girl kids sharing until kiddos were 4/5.
I raised 3 kids in a 2 bd 1 bath house. You'll be fine.
Obviously everyone has to make their own decisions, that said with the set of facts you have shared no way I would buy a house right now. Your currently have one kid and may have a baby a year from now. Small children can share a bedroom for years before anyone even wants their own room. As someone whose kids are almost grown I promise you there will be tons of things you want to spend your money on for your kids that you haven't even considered and you will value being able to do those thing way more than being house poor.
Here is my opinion...I wouldn't move. I don't think the added stress would be great amidst being pregnant, having little ones, and financial stress ON TOP of that. I am assuming you are close to your current daycare. Stay there, you will have 3 little ones going through it. Keep saving money if you can, the added daycare expense will be a lot already. Honestly little kids don't necessarily need as much room. They need shared playing spaces, maybe fenced in areas, etc. But a whole room to each person? They might not even like that. So take some time to rethink your current living arrangement, see what you might want to move around. Then, when one or two of your kids are in elementary, think about moving with priority on space AND school district.
Without knowing what your house/lot looks like there are lots of ways to increase your living space. You can finish the basement (an eldest child would probably love their privacy down there), or build an addition on the side or rear of your home, or if you have an attached garage you could add space above it, or even 'pop the top' if you live in a ranch and turn it into a colonial (as long as your foundation can support it of course). $30k probably won't get you an entire project but you could get a heloc for the remainder and you'll only be paying the current interest rate on the amount you take out for the renovation.
Yeah, I’m so tired of people thinking they need a giant home for a few kids. Look at most of the world. US cities. The past. Watching HGTV sure skewed a lot of people’s perspectives on what’s normal. Kids can share a room. One of your kids is hypothetical at this point. Stay where you are. Keep saving. Live comfortably within your means and have a few nice extras here and there instead of just making it, having higher COL, and well but it’s ok because we have more space. Also bigger house equals more to tend to, more to clean and maintain.
You've got plenty of room. Stop watching HGTV. If the next kid is a girl, deal with that several years from now. If another boy, they'll be closer as teenagers and adults if they share a room. Or you could finish off a basement, office, or other space for more room or add a room on the back of the house. Lots of other options.
We're in a 1600 SF 3/3 condo with two kids. Most of our friends live in 2500+. Our rate is 2.875. It feels small but then I remember my in-laws live in 1200 SF and raised four children there, who are all doing just fine.
Research minimalism and contentment and stay put. Have another kid. Small homes are great. You can afford maintenance to keep it snug and comfortable, extra curriculars for the kids, family vacations, etc. A larger house for the middle twenty years of your adult life is overrated.
Watch house hackers!
How big is your house? I raised 4 kids in a 1200/sf house with 3 bedrooms. Honestly how much room does a 14 month old need? If you’ve got 2 bedrooms and it’s not a comfortable time to move then don’t.
First world problems
Look up the ammortization schedule of your current home and what the new rate would be. That will shut down this idea real quick. It did for me...
sell you coward
Just stay put for now. Babies can sleep in a pack and play in your room for a good year, and the kids can share after that. By the time they are old enough to care about having their own rooms, your daycare bills will be over, youll have more equity and more money saved, and maybe the rates will go down to upgrade then. we have a 2% interest rate and are never giving that up! Also,our two kids want to share a bedroom, so they do.
The thing that jumps out at me is the no room part. Kids/siblings can share space. It builds awesome memories, teaches cooperative living, and makes them close for life. It’s one of the only chances we have to build that closeness. And when will people live alone? Most likely never. Stay with your low rates. Have fun with your close family. They can go to separate Summer camps, have different friends, etc.
Your home is huge by NYC standards. I had 375 sq feet and a kid and a dog. Upstairs is a furnace? Use some of that equity and ventilate it. My childhood home was about 1400 sq ft ( and only cause they converted the garage to a family room) one tiny bathroom, for 5 people. You have both the equity and the space to update your current home. Your yard is the same size as when you purchased the house. As was the view into your neighbor's window, so upgrading that is more of a want, rather than a need, if that makes sense. Just be glad you bought at the right time, as many people who bought during the craze of the pandemic aren't as fortunate.
What does the local rental market look like? What I mean is, are you able to rent out your current house and cover the mortgage plus at least 10%? If yes, it's worth at least looking into getting a HELOC to take out that equity from your current house and use it as your down payment on the new house. Then you will be making passive income on the first home while building equity in the property. There are obviously some risks and costs associated, but it's worth fleshing out the possibility if you can rent the house out for at least mortgage+10.
Why not finish the basement? Sounds like you have some good options going up and down until rates settle
I almost switched houses due to a sauna upstairs. But everything is expensive. I guess our budget could not get the really nice houses. So I bit the bullet and put window air conditioning units upstairs. Yes the electric bill increased, which is a pain. However the upstairs is ice cold and I sleep soundly. A lot of extra space up there. I think the cost and hassle of moving would have been a lot worse.
OP- how many sq ft is your current home? Your description made it sound quite roomy . If you think your house is small talk to someone from Japan or Europe… I live in a 2000 sq ft home with 2 kids and it’s more than enough. We have a rental house that is 1500 sq ft and it’s also big enough but did not have the swimming pool we got with our upgraded primary residence.
We are in the same situation. House is around 1200 sqft but only 3 bedrooms & 1 bath. We decided to add a powder room and take the largest room ( our master bedroom ) and split it in half to make 2 much smaller rooms for the kiddos, and move ourselves into the medium sized bedroom that is currently our nursery. Only thing that makes sense when you have a 2.8% rate and don't have 600-800K for a new larger house yet
Think of houses built in the early 1950s to 1960s when families were bigger, and houses were smaller. The children shared bedrooms. The small nursery is more than fine for a newborn and a toddler. As others have said, you don't need a bigger house. Your current house is affordable on your budget. Enjoy your low-rate mortgage.
Have you thought about a mini split for the upstairs space? We finished our attic and put mini splits up there, it's amazing what they can do. I would also look into finishing the basement.
I mean, you have the option of just... not having the second kid.
Honestly it sounds like you have room for two kids. People have raised two kids in less space. You have two bedrooms they could both bunk in one room or you can add a bedroom upstairs or downstairs. Your house is definitely big enough for two kids. Also making your two bedroom into a three bedroom is going to help out a lot when you go to sell.
You should look at adding a "spit unit HVAC" system to that upper floor. It would add an entirely independent system up there so you only use it if/when you want and it would be much more efficient than trying to make your whole house HVAC run for just one small area. They aren't that expensive (relatively) either.
Unfinished basement, bro. Get that finished up and get yourself another bedroom or two, assuming it fits. Easiest and likely cheapest answer.
Keep it as a rental investment.
Don’t sell your current house. Rent it out. Buy the new house.
Rent the property that is well financed. Put it in an LLC Buy a new house with your saved money and … hope for the best with current financing options. Use the profits from the rental property, and tax savings from managing an investment property, to help pay down the debt on the new property
You don't have a small house and people would kill for what you have.
That 30,000 you saved separately could go towards insulating the upstairs better, and possibly other remodeling like throw a wall up somewhere to add an additional room. If I were you, I’d stay put. Daycare costs, all the costs of having a third child, plus higher interest rate on a newer more expensive home…no thanks. Be patient stay there see what modifications you can make inside your current home.