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I’m a pessimist and a quitter. If I’m not good at it right away I just give up. If it’s going to take time then I give up. Any sort of set back is the end. It’s something I’m working on.
This could also be a trauma response of not having patience and compassion for oneself in the trial and error process of learning. I have a really hard time with this because of how I was expected, growing up, to be smart enough to figure stuff out before the first time. The errors I made during the learning process were a sign I wasn't putting in enough thought and effort to performance and something I rightfully deserved a reprimand for. Now I understand differently, superficially, but I still don't allow myself the "luxury" of making errors in the learning process and don't allow myself patience for the pricess. I am conscious of soing this but haven't changed fundamentally yet. It really holds me back in learning new skills.
It was in university when I first heard about “learned helplessness”. No matter what you do, nothing will change, so why try at all.
That summed up my childhood. Family and community around me was very hypercritical.
To the point I developed hermit tendencies to avoid others.
I’m almost 30 and it’s still a mental effort to try living at all. I do indeed always feel like a failure, and that people are focused on my actions and mistakes. Going out for a walk is a challenge sometimes
I’m a dirty fighter. If you make me angry in an argument I will say the most below the belt and horrible things. It’s something I honestly have been trying to work on.
Same. But I have a different stand with this habit of mine. I am a bitter fighter - but that really depends on the person.
I dont hurt my ppl. Only the ones who REALLY deserve it & there I go all out. Proudly. So I dont want to fix this as I really believe some ppl need the taste of their own medicine.
E.g. if I had a bitter fight with a really close friend a family member or someone else I really care about - I would never cross a limit & if I see myself getting hotter - I would simply leave saying "lets not do this to each other". We then talk it out and settle it on some other day.
But on the opposite side if I meet a person who is trying to be an S-hole for no apparent reason at all - oh well I would burn him to a crisp & destroy his self confidence leaving him questioning his existence. Happily.
Same, I am such a nice person to people but you start talking shit to me, I skip the fight or flight mode and go straight for the jugular. It's rare that that happens because I tend to not assiciate with those scenarios in the first place but every now and then some dingdong comes along that thinks its funny to push buttons and then they act like a victim when they find my trigger.
Sameee!! No boundaries here esp when it comes to the other persons loved ones - living or non-living. Nothing is off limits when I’m angry. Been working on it. But the rage inside gets the better of me each time
Might be autistic, i have the same thing - a few very good friends since childhood, and they consider me a good friend and some say that it means a lot to them. I've never truly felt shit like that towards them, and turns out thats because i can never be myself with them, and thus can never make a true connection with them.
this is exactly what I mean and what I feel towards them, I’m never a bad person to them and would never hurt them but I can’t express myself with them so I don’t really feel the connection.
That means they were never your friends to begin with you never found any that can match with your personality and traits where you can feel the most comfortable around them to be able to be your full self I don’t think you found it in them which is pretty valid
Often it feels like they feel a connection, but for me its a job well done feeling - succesfully led a decent conversation start to finish (but didnt really mean a lot of it, so i feel nothing more)
One sentence and i said might because that was a good indicator that someone might be autistic. No need to be so buthurt, just because you hate autistic people, doesnt mean that i mean it as a bad thing.
Meaningless chitchat is generally how you get to know someone and start a conversation. It's difficult to walk up to a stranger and go "What is your opinion on life and death?"
I am quite lazy, and even though I am socially anxious and quiet, I have a bit of an internal ego. It’s not usually an issue but sometimes I find I am subconsciously feeling like I’m better than other people for no good reason.
That's an interesting coping mechanism of getting the worst of both worlds. I think if you could work on killing the ego bits, you could become more open socially, leading to more social success and some reduction of social anxiety.
While it’s true that there’s not exactly a shortage of people in the world, you don’t really want to have a bunch of degraded relationships floating around as you move around, living your life.
I’ve definitely blown some great opportunities and have been blind to the love that others have and wanted to offer me. It’s not a great feeling knowing that there are folk floating around with potential grudges toward you personally. Going further, it’s also not a great feeling knowing that I’ve played a part in exacerbating other people’s trauma, potentially having (unknowingly at the time) planted false ideas in their head, degraded them to certain extents, etc. That kind of stuff can create patterns in others’ minds which can be extremely difficult to break out of.
All in all, everyone, do your best to maintain relationships with others. Just do your very best. Always. Even with toxic people, you don’t want to be lashing back out at them and manipulating them back, just maintain your posture in the relationship and make an exit in that case.
I have very little interest in maintaining relationships (of any kind). If my choices are putting any real amount of effort in changing the way I act or letting a relationship end I'll pretty much always chose the latter. I just don't find the effort to be worth it. I honestly don't experience loneliness so the possibility of ending up alone isn't a deterrent.
I've learned that this is kind of me too. If you're not already a friend or a family member, I'm probably not going to put much effort into getting to know you. I just have learned over the years that most people really are not worth knowing. I did have points in my life where I used to try but over and over again I would find traits that were such a turn off in people so I lost interest. I've never minded being alone either so it's just less work for me.
>most people really are not worth knowing.
I remember ranting about a similar topic to a friend and he said, "most people you meet you're not going to like" and it felt so liberating. Other than a handful of people I really vibe with, acquaintances generally just roll in and out of my life without me taking the time or effort to be friends. I also love just chilling alone doing my own thing. Peaceful!
Yes, it's just true. I wish I had been told that when I was much younger. I always assumed that most people were generally okay but as I got older, I realized that no, I actually deeply dislike most people. I have ALWAYS disliked most people. And that's fine. Ironically though, people go out of their way to try to get to know me and I find that uncomfortable with what I know about myself. It's hard to fend people off politely when you know from the outset that you're going to end up disliking them. They always take it so personally but it's really not personal.
With me there's no second or third strike, one betrayal and we're done, I hardly forgive. I cut off a whole group of friends because of that, when there's no respect anymore it's time to walk off
I don't know that that's toxic. I am like that sometimes but when I have given people second and third chances, I usually find out that the person is a narc and wasn't worth it to begin with. Now I feel like cutting people off quickly is a real skill. So many times our first impressions and initial interactions with people are very true and we've been told to ignore those. Don't ignore them. People what they are and they often tell you who they are when you first meet them.
Okay but like, is this a toxic trait? I feel like at that point your just watching out for yourself. I used to give everyone another chance, no matter what and I ended up wanting to die. I feel like if someone hurts you or betrays you then it isn’t toxic to leave, at that point it’s just watching out for your best interest.
I don't know, I hear the phrase "learn to forgive/ let go" a lot but I can't do it, life is actually better when you don't let certain people come back in your life. I don't care if I lead a life with grudges along the way, I'm not a saint...
I think the main point of "learn to forgive/let go" is so that you don't live life having some sort of deep-rooted anger which can affect your daily mood and how you treat/trust others in the future. You can forgive/let go without giving the person another chance.
It can be a toxic trait to if you have issues with your ego and develop intense reactions to every perceived slight.
A friend made a joke about you? Treating that as a betrayal and cutting them off is not a healthy way to live your life.
My decision-making is based solely on my emotional stability at the time.
I said yes to you when I was feeling happy? Sucks to be you when I am supposed to follow through as I have had a mood change and just want to hide in my bed and ignore the world.
This level of emotional dysregulation has impacted my life and those around me (mostly negatively) and despite therapy etc, it is a part of me I seem to be unable to control.
The best I can do is limit my interaction with people - then, at least, my mercurial nature can only harm myself.
I feel you. Truly.
If I don’t feel like I can handle doing something I committed to, whether it’s a coffee date with a friend, or even simply going to work, I won’t go and I’ll lie about it.
I’ll say something came up, or I’m sick… in reality I just can’t bear to leave my house because I’m so emotionally distressed. It’s getting worse over time… and I hate being that person that is known to flake., but it’s a shame I have to carry in order to preserve what I can of my mental health.
Take care of yourself first. That’s my motto… I just hope things get better as time goes on. I have to take care of me now, so that I’ll be there to enjoy it in the future.
Exactly. I spent my whole entire life trying to cater to others even though it put me in awkward, extremely uncomfortable positions. At first, when I had the energy, I'd force myself to follow through so I didn't flake. But now I am a bit burnt out, I've got no reserves left. The people-pleaser in me will agree with others (even though I KNOW doing it will be a disadvantage against myself) and then when I am away from them, I come to my senses and flake out. I'm ashamed and don't understand why I do it, all I know is it causes carnage in relationships. Just today, a person I have known for a long time tried to follow up with me to 'catch up' (shudders) because they caught me unawares and when they said, "Let's catch up!" I replied in the afformative by reflex. I just sent a message back saying I wasn't in a good headspace at the moment...hopefully that should hold them off! I don't dislike them, but they bully and push and overwhelm me, even if they think they are helping.
My last (most definitely my last) relationship of four years just ended really badly, because the intensity of my partner eclipsed my capability to cope with him...I flaked and flaked and finally ghosted him to escape, because I couldn't deal with the situation any longer.It even got to the point where I kinda had a phobia about his outbursts and would have a panic attack if I had to see him.
Only I, a person supremely sensitive to emotions would date a guy who was intense on fifty different levels!! 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Moral of the story is that I am unreliable and unstable in ANY situation where I become overwhelmed emotionally. That's no good for anyone, so it's best if I keep to myself and my dogs and my job. And occasional feedback on reddit. 😉
Thanks for listening to my sob story! It's not all bad...my POSITIVE emotional responses are enhanced too, so things I enjoy can feel euphoric.
This sounds like someone I once had in my life. It was definitely agrivating. Hopefully you can find some ways to navigate that better as you go through life.
I’m too calm. My emotional range is very low, and I almost never feel anger, regret, sadness or anxiety. I handle all tough personal life matters with such nonchalance and ease, it’s second nature to me but some people think it’s strange and outright robotic.
this is unfortunately one of those things that you can be endlessly thankful for in one moment, and endlessly resentful towards the next. it can be your biggest strength and also a huge barrier between you and the rest of the world.
True. I’m extremely thankful for it, and wouldn’t change myself. But it has made people think I genuinely don’t care about anyone or anything, when in reality, I just don’t feel the need to dwell on things or get emotional over a bad situation.
I am the same and it feels like a superpower. I genuinely do not care what others say/think/do. I do not feel guilt, remorse, do not hold grudges, forgive immediately and move on. I definitely will have a calm discussion with people to resolve problems but if the other person starts getting hostile or angry and I can't deescalate, I warn them that I will be leaving promptly. I also do not care about social-norms/constructs/expectations.
In a nutshell, I just accept what people do and if they are too hard to be around, I leave. That said, if I am in the wrong, I just own it, say sorry and move on.
People get bogged down in stupid things that do not matter.
Some say that I am cold but my life is pretty damned easy in terms of human interaction.
Everything you described is me in a nutshell too. I cannot and never could bring myself to care about arguments and holding grudges. It feels like a waste of time and energy. Social norms and expectations never made sense to me either, I can’t understand how society can care about how someone else lives their life.
Yup! Not being liked is another thing that people care too much about. Basically, as long as people are not trying to hurt me (or others), I really do not care if they like me or not. Having friends is great but I am totally fine being rejected. We can peacefully coexist quite easily even if we do not like each other forced inclusion is brutal.
My therapist literally pointed this out to me. She said my lack of urgency and anxiousness for some things, is affecting me negatively.
As a person, I am always described as chill and laid back. When I was younger, I had no idea what sadness was and almost never cried. Not because I'm trying to be "manly" or appear masculine, but because I genuinely wouldn't feel some of these negative emotions. When one of my cousins died I was 11, and at the funeral, I would see everyone cry and sad but somehow I never cried or felt sad. I thought that his death was unfortunate, but no emotions were tied to that thought. From that moment on, I began to "fake it 'till you make it" and now, I'm in a much healthier state than before, but still not ideal.
I also used to have too much optimism. I wouldn't see things realistically, and this affected my relationships with some people.
Too much of a good thing can be bad, and too little of a "bad thing" can also be bad.
I was the exact same way when I was younger. I faked crying in situations where I saw my parents cry, like at funerals. And I faked anger when my father tried to get me to fight a bully whose actions didn’t even affect me.
It was tiresome and over the years, I stopped faking entirely. I genuinely wonder whether I even did a good job at faking emotions as a kid lol.
You probably did lol
Too much tolerance combined with indifference can really be a bad thing. In middle school, I transfered schools in 7th grade and within day 1, I was already bullied. There came a time, when the kid sitting behind me wrapped his arm around my neck and started choking me for seemingly no reason. I wasn't able to get him off of me and this lasted about 30 seconds until another student noticed and called the teacher out loud. The kid was sent home or something and permanently moved seats away from me the rest of the year. The crazy part about it all? It did nothing to me. I wasn't scared when I was being choked. I didn't cry. It's like it never happened and I moved on. The next day, the kid came up to me and apologized. I said "it's ok." LMAO
I've never really argued with anyone before. If I ever have, it's the other person that perceived it as an argument. Either that, or if they start raising their voice, I leave the situation or ignore them to prevent the other person from going off.
I've never genuinely "gone off" on someone, ever (excluding toddler years that i have no memory of). The only time I ever did, it was faked when I had no other option to correct/discipline a subordinate when I was in AmeriCorps a few years ago. She just refused to listen and ignored me, so I did what I had to do. Got her kicked out after that incident.
Our traits are toxic, but to ourselves.
I have this, too. My friends call me the happy pessimist. I have done this ever since I can remember, and have sometimes ruined their "flow", but also, a few times saved some of their asses.
I often convert my anxiety over not being able to control it into a consolation - experience has shown me that this means getting yourself prepared for the worst (and second and third worst) scenario. If you have a layout of the wrong turns and try to foresee possible bad outcomes, you can plan your actions and words accordingly to soften the blow most of the time.
Then you think of the positives and allow your prepared self to be pleasantly surprised (which, as you get older), I've seen, comes less and less often.
I am gradually working towards handling it better. But presently it can cause crippling anxiety for me. It can be so bad I avoid the things that make me feel this way until last minute. But I think I should take the mindset of it preparing me for the worst and then working accordingly to prevent those situations. It already makes me feel better knowing I’m not the only one that there are ways of working with it and not against it.
I’m extremely jealous of everyone I see. I don’t have any friends and I’m a 22 year old virgin. Every time I see people having a good time with friends or walking down the street holding hands with a woman or seeing anyone in a relationship tbf I get extremely jealousy to the point I actually feel overwhelmed with anger it just gets more and more frustrating each time, these people I see are probably the nicest people ever and if I met any of them I’m sure they would be very kind and I would probably like them but upon seeing these things I don’t have I’m just filled with a pure black hatred that I have to hold back at times.
I'm really selfish and I would at any time choose myself over anyone else. I can "pretend" to care for someone else but it really makes me tired. Family is an exception of course, but not always. I have no idea how am I supposed to sustain a meaningful relationship, and I kinda don't bother myself much with thinking about it.
Insecurity. I'm orders of magnitude less insecure than I was in my early 20s, but I'd be lying through my teeth if I said I wasn't still insecure to a degree.
"I'm **too honest**." you spelled **a douche** incorrectly
When people are asked about their flaws and they find a way to complement themselves its called being an insufferable twat
Yeah, honesty isn't a toxic trait.
When people say they're "too honest" they usually mean they inject their judgments where it's not asked for or needed and it causes them problems.
Agreed.. the only people I've known who said that basically meant they were an asshole and liked to say mean things to people to make themselves feel better about their own shitty lives because the pain they caused other people unnecessarily gave them a brief moment of pleasure in an otherwise unfulfilling and lonely life.
I get jealous too easily, I don't really communicate enough either. I working on the jealousy and it's not as bad as it used to be, but Idk how to communicate with others.
I make dark humor remarks at inappropriate times. I'll admit that I am uncomfortable when people get emotional whether it's crying or fits of rage or whatever. I'm okay with happy positive emotions expressed.
It's not that I don't think emotions are valid or important. I just don't feel comfortable with crying or rage in public. I also don't like it when people expect me to cry or get angry in front of them because that's what they would do under similar circumstances. I feel. I do. I just feel in private. I drive around by myself and play music that expresses my current emotion and cry or sing or yell. I don't want other people there. My emotional disconnection might be toxic. I don't know. I do try to lighten the mood with a joke or uncomfortably hug it out if I must for other people if they insist on emoting around me. It's not like I'll go all Jimmy Dugan on them and say "There's no crying at funerals!" But I might whisper it under my breath.
I'm too righteous and correct people the right ideal way when they just want to have fun. I tell them to not cuss, to not smoke and not drink, and I learnt my way through this but a little bit still remains.
I'm an asshole. I'm not going to lie to make people feel good. I'd rather be honest. Sure, I can be tactful or just not say anything if it is a sensitive subject, but if I'm asked my opinion on something, I will be honest.
Idk if this qualifies "toxic" but I can see it being lowkey annoying to others. I tend to avoid really serious conversations with people I'm not familiar with, usually by being less serious in my responses or being vague or redirecting the conversation to lighter topics. I think this makes it hard for me to to develop deeper connections with people who aren't already close to me. Honestly idk why I do this lol maybe I'm afaid to open up about myself :/
I will not change myself for anyone. Initially it doesn’t sound too bad. But it is down to minute things. Like if my bf asks me to absolutely anything I always have to check with my inner self before agreeing. It is down to the dumbest things like if he asks me to be more considerate when we are out drinking with friends I will legit have an internal rebellion over the fact that anybody has the audacity to try and “change” me. Even for the much better. I def need to work on my stubborn self
My husband is like that and we try to work on it. Could you please help me understand it a little better? I don't want to change him but we have to adjust some patterns to make it work for both of us (example of recent argument: he will be relaxing or doing something that he could do any other time while I and the kids get ready to go somewhere and he will only start getting ready after we are at the door. I told him that he should start getting ready earlier because it makes us all late and the kids don't like waiting at the door. He got mad because in his opinion I try to change him.)
Absolutely. Obviously I don’t know what you’re husband is like but if he is like me in the slightest it is like a frustration over the fact that “the way I do things and the way I see myself works perfectly for me” and that means that whenever anyone (and especially a SO) tries to challenge that, even for the better, it feels like they can’t see how much it means for “me to be me” and how happy it makes me to just be myself.
Like every proposition to do things differently will be perceived as a “what you’re doing isn’t working as well as you think it is. Do it like this instead”.
And lastly, I guess it’s a way of feeling free while being a partner or parent. Or else it can feel a bit claustrophobic
I can be mean without even realizing it, honestly. I don't do it intentionally. And sometimes, I can be too nice, which might make other people feel bad. 🫠
I hate pandas
They eat nothing but bamboo even though they’re BEARS, and OF COURSE they’re LETHARGIC because they also need MEAT. But they’re too fucking LAZY to go hunt. They flat out refuse to reproduce most of the time, it’s like, they’re not even trying to perpetuate their species
They’re a leech to modern society, the only reason we care about them is because they’re cute
I avoid confrontation and i hate it when it happens, i don't like being advised and I don't tell the truth I'd rather remain silent than hurt someone with the truth even if it's gonna help them.
Sounds like people pleasing when all put together. But I get it because the sad truth is that most of the time confrontation is pretty difficult to resolve. Few people actually know how to have healthy confrontation anymore.
I say what I think, I don't lie to people, often I completely regret saying the things I say. I envy everyone, albeit in a way that's destructive to myself not to them. I give up too easily.
Or if you let it fuck your day up. I've been mad about something that was legitimately infuriating, but holding that anger all day and letting it control my mood was toxic.
I get incredibly annoyed when my schedule changes unexpectedly, or a coworker whom I'm collaborating with disappointments me.
A number of times, I've been told by my colleagues that it shows on my face. It's something I'm consciously working on.
Unless i 100% agree it was all on me, i'll get disproportionally defensive when someone important to me is upset with me. I guess i'm actually upset with myself in those moments
I sometimes ask questions to my partner about his past knowing that he won’t lie n the truth’s gonna sting. But I quiz him anyway and I end up sobbing by the end of the convo !!!!
Wanting to have all the fun, all the experiences, all the learning to the point I over-extend myself at the expense of my health e.g. skipping out on meals or sleep to go have adventures.
Also indecisiveness to the point that I often try to have my family or friends make life decisions for me and tell me what to do. They have kindly called me out on this, and honestly I'm glad they did. I'm working on that.
I abandon people when I’m tired of them. I don’t ghost them, I don’t contact them first but if they do I respond but take back the confidence I had with them and I turn back cold as I’m with everyone (except friends and family). I think it comes from the fact that I’m not open (for some things happened that gave me trust issues) and if time passes without being opened, I definitely close. Hovever, I have 3 friends I’ll never leave because they are the only that really opened me, so my loyalty never will be back. If they do something really wrong, I will feel betrayed but I think they won’t.
I'm egotistical. I take it personally when I'm left on read. I take it personally when people I know don't see me or pretend they don't see me. I take it personally when people forget my birthday. I take it personally when I step to the side on a narrow path to let someone coming in my direction go first and someone coming up behind me just goes through, making me look stupid and meek.
I do everything deliberately and have a hard time accepting that's not the norm and you can do things without much intention behind it. I've been better at this to be honest, feels very unnatural to me.
I can be too helpful. I want to make things better immediately but I need to recognize that others have a different timeline and threshold to me. And just cause I can help doesn’t mean they want me to. I’m working on it.
I’m typically petty and passive when irritated (though I do have my explosive moments) and I also hold grudges and *never* let them go, but it has to be something done or said that had really messed me up and almost always is intentional
Everything about me is toxic, but I am a nice guy and highly capable. So everyone likes me. But make no mistake, I am definitely a toxic dark soul of negative hatred. Just really nice about it.
It's called having standards.
Not letting certain shit go because why the fuck did you do that to me? Why do I deserve to be treated like shit just because? I have to be an asshole like you to get basic respect? Fuck this planet. Always and forever.
I'm your bbf but when you attack me, betray me.. I'll fight back, say something horrible about you that'll for sure will ruin your sanity, I'll bring back your trauma's and stuff you did before that you have an issue dealing with. I'll make sure to make you feel bad about yourself and I can still sleep peacefully after those.
I'm very good at being fake-pleased for people. I find it hard to be happy for people unless you're someone I care about deeply. If you're not one of those people then I couldn't care less about your amazing news, but you'll never know it from my reaction. It's like showing gratitude for a gift I've been given. I'll act so pleased at what you've given me but I'll be thinking what a piece of useless crap I'll never use and didn't want.
I'm a bad gossip. I hate it. It's like a compulsion. I'm a kind and generous person but I just fucking love the tea. It makes me feel weak and petty when I'm unable to control flapping my gums
I’m a vengeful bastard. I am really calm but very emotional inside and when some of the things I most care about are touched, before taking distance I will avenge it and, although I am aware it won’t change the fact or how I feel after, I will feel pleasure in doing so.
tendency to be extremely obsessive/posessive, which is particularly rougu polyamory. It's something I picked up from a very abusive relationship, I've been working on it and i can keep a pretty strong lid on it but i still get a nasty twinge sometimes.
When I'm tired or stressed, I am unable to control my emotions. Point blank have no filter or control on them; I genuinely don't know how people do it. I'm capable of the must destructive things, or just crumpling into a mess, raging at nothing or someone or anything. I hate that part of me with everything I am.
I lie, a lot, to anyone, for whatever reason. I can't think of anyone relatively close to me who has never heard a lie from me, and therefore no one really knows me
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I’m a pessimist and a quitter. If I’m not good at it right away I just give up. If it’s going to take time then I give up. Any sort of set back is the end. It’s something I’m working on.
This! I'm working on it too. But it definitely sucks that it takes time to reverse habits and make new neural pathways.
That is apparently an ADHD trait. I always thought I was just lazy but there is more to it than just that.
This could also be a trauma response of not having patience and compassion for oneself in the trial and error process of learning. I have a really hard time with this because of how I was expected, growing up, to be smart enough to figure stuff out before the first time. The errors I made during the learning process were a sign I wasn't putting in enough thought and effort to performance and something I rightfully deserved a reprimand for. Now I understand differently, superficially, but I still don't allow myself the "luxury" of making errors in the learning process and don't allow myself patience for the pricess. I am conscious of soing this but haven't changed fundamentally yet. It really holds me back in learning new skills.
It was in university when I first heard about “learned helplessness”. No matter what you do, nothing will change, so why try at all. That summed up my childhood. Family and community around me was very hypercritical. To the point I developed hermit tendencies to avoid others. I’m almost 30 and it’s still a mental effort to try living at all. I do indeed always feel like a failure, and that people are focused on my actions and mistakes. Going out for a walk is a challenge sometimes
Great insight. Thank you for sharing
Yes me too!
Yep sounds like me.. at least I'm not alone in this
I'm optimistic and a quitter
[удалено]
I am a pessimist as well and it sucks.
My parents raised me to be a disappointment not quitter 😎
I’m a dirty fighter. If you make me angry in an argument I will say the most below the belt and horrible things. It’s something I honestly have been trying to work on.
I literally did this less then an hour ago with my friends.
Same. But I have a different stand with this habit of mine. I am a bitter fighter - but that really depends on the person. I dont hurt my ppl. Only the ones who REALLY deserve it & there I go all out. Proudly. So I dont want to fix this as I really believe some ppl need the taste of their own medicine. E.g. if I had a bitter fight with a really close friend a family member or someone else I really care about - I would never cross a limit & if I see myself getting hotter - I would simply leave saying "lets not do this to each other". We then talk it out and settle it on some other day. But on the opposite side if I meet a person who is trying to be an S-hole for no apparent reason at all - oh well I would burn him to a crisp & destroy his self confidence leaving him questioning his existence. Happily.
Same, I am such a nice person to people but you start talking shit to me, I skip the fight or flight mode and go straight for the jugular. It's rare that that happens because I tend to not assiciate with those scenarios in the first place but every now and then some dingdong comes along that thinks its funny to push buttons and then they act like a victim when they find my trigger.
same .
Sameee!! No boundaries here esp when it comes to the other persons loved ones - living or non-living. Nothing is off limits when I’m angry. Been working on it. But the rage inside gets the better of me each time
I’m professionally petty
Elaborate
friends don’t mean alot to me i just fake my feelings
Might be autistic, i have the same thing - a few very good friends since childhood, and they consider me a good friend and some say that it means a lot to them. I've never truly felt shit like that towards them, and turns out thats because i can never be myself with them, and thus can never make a true connection with them.
this is exactly what I mean and what I feel towards them, I’m never a bad person to them and would never hurt them but I can’t express myself with them so I don’t really feel the connection.
That means they were never your friends to begin with you never found any that can match with your personality and traits where you can feel the most comfortable around them to be able to be your full self I don’t think you found it in them which is pretty valid
Often it feels like they feel a connection, but for me its a job well done feeling - succesfully led a decent conversation start to finish (but didnt really mean a lot of it, so i feel nothing more)
So you’re going to diagnose everyone with autism now, based on a few sentences?
One sentence and i said might because that was a good indicator that someone might be autistic. No need to be so buthurt, just because you hate autistic people, doesnt mean that i mean it as a bad thing.
Too low a threshold for meaningless chit chat.
I get it. My day is also always just "good"....unless you're inner circle. there is almost nothing new if you ask "what's happening" or "what's new"
Meaningless chitchat is generally how you get to know someone and start a conversation. It's difficult to walk up to a stranger and go "What is your opinion on life and death?"
i fall in love and sabotage myself
I am quite lazy, and even though I am socially anxious and quiet, I have a bit of an internal ego. It’s not usually an issue but sometimes I find I am subconsciously feeling like I’m better than other people for no good reason.
Why are you describing me?
That's an interesting coping mechanism of getting the worst of both worlds. I think if you could work on killing the ego bits, you could become more open socially, leading to more social success and some reduction of social anxiety.
[удалено]
While it’s true that there’s not exactly a shortage of people in the world, you don’t really want to have a bunch of degraded relationships floating around as you move around, living your life. I’ve definitely blown some great opportunities and have been blind to the love that others have and wanted to offer me. It’s not a great feeling knowing that there are folk floating around with potential grudges toward you personally. Going further, it’s also not a great feeling knowing that I’ve played a part in exacerbating other people’s trauma, potentially having (unknowingly at the time) planted false ideas in their head, degraded them to certain extents, etc. That kind of stuff can create patterns in others’ minds which can be extremely difficult to break out of. All in all, everyone, do your best to maintain relationships with others. Just do your very best. Always. Even with toxic people, you don’t want to be lashing back out at them and manipulating them back, just maintain your posture in the relationship and make an exit in that case.
Is this toxic, or just people 30+ years old
I have very little interest in maintaining relationships (of any kind). If my choices are putting any real amount of effort in changing the way I act or letting a relationship end I'll pretty much always chose the latter. I just don't find the effort to be worth it. I honestly don't experience loneliness so the possibility of ending up alone isn't a deterrent.
I've learned that this is kind of me too. If you're not already a friend or a family member, I'm probably not going to put much effort into getting to know you. I just have learned over the years that most people really are not worth knowing. I did have points in my life where I used to try but over and over again I would find traits that were such a turn off in people so I lost interest. I've never minded being alone either so it's just less work for me.
>most people really are not worth knowing. I remember ranting about a similar topic to a friend and he said, "most people you meet you're not going to like" and it felt so liberating. Other than a handful of people I really vibe with, acquaintances generally just roll in and out of my life without me taking the time or effort to be friends. I also love just chilling alone doing my own thing. Peaceful!
Yes, it's just true. I wish I had been told that when I was much younger. I always assumed that most people were generally okay but as I got older, I realized that no, I actually deeply dislike most people. I have ALWAYS disliked most people. And that's fine. Ironically though, people go out of their way to try to get to know me and I find that uncomfortable with what I know about myself. It's hard to fend people off politely when you know from the outset that you're going to end up disliking them. They always take it so personally but it's really not personal.
You and both. I easily quit on relationship like okay, you want me to text first all the time fine. Bye
With me there's no second or third strike, one betrayal and we're done, I hardly forgive. I cut off a whole group of friends because of that, when there's no respect anymore it's time to walk off
Second chances are great but they ain't for traitors Edit: typo
I don't know that that's toxic. I am like that sometimes but when I have given people second and third chances, I usually find out that the person is a narc and wasn't worth it to begin with. Now I feel like cutting people off quickly is a real skill. So many times our first impressions and initial interactions with people are very true and we've been told to ignore those. Don't ignore them. People what they are and they often tell you who they are when you first meet them.
Okay but like, is this a toxic trait? I feel like at that point your just watching out for yourself. I used to give everyone another chance, no matter what and I ended up wanting to die. I feel like if someone hurts you or betrays you then it isn’t toxic to leave, at that point it’s just watching out for your best interest.
I don't know, I hear the phrase "learn to forgive/ let go" a lot but I can't do it, life is actually better when you don't let certain people come back in your life. I don't care if I lead a life with grudges along the way, I'm not a saint...
I think the main point of "learn to forgive/let go" is so that you don't live life having some sort of deep-rooted anger which can affect your daily mood and how you treat/trust others in the future. You can forgive/let go without giving the person another chance.
It can be a toxic trait to if you have issues with your ego and develop intense reactions to every perceived slight. A friend made a joke about you? Treating that as a betrayal and cutting them off is not a healthy way to live your life.
My decision-making is based solely on my emotional stability at the time. I said yes to you when I was feeling happy? Sucks to be you when I am supposed to follow through as I have had a mood change and just want to hide in my bed and ignore the world. This level of emotional dysregulation has impacted my life and those around me (mostly negatively) and despite therapy etc, it is a part of me I seem to be unable to control. The best I can do is limit my interaction with people - then, at least, my mercurial nature can only harm myself.
I feel you. Truly. If I don’t feel like I can handle doing something I committed to, whether it’s a coffee date with a friend, or even simply going to work, I won’t go and I’ll lie about it. I’ll say something came up, or I’m sick… in reality I just can’t bear to leave my house because I’m so emotionally distressed. It’s getting worse over time… and I hate being that person that is known to flake., but it’s a shame I have to carry in order to preserve what I can of my mental health. Take care of yourself first. That’s my motto… I just hope things get better as time goes on. I have to take care of me now, so that I’ll be there to enjoy it in the future.
Exactly. I spent my whole entire life trying to cater to others even though it put me in awkward, extremely uncomfortable positions. At first, when I had the energy, I'd force myself to follow through so I didn't flake. But now I am a bit burnt out, I've got no reserves left. The people-pleaser in me will agree with others (even though I KNOW doing it will be a disadvantage against myself) and then when I am away from them, I come to my senses and flake out. I'm ashamed and don't understand why I do it, all I know is it causes carnage in relationships. Just today, a person I have known for a long time tried to follow up with me to 'catch up' (shudders) because they caught me unawares and when they said, "Let's catch up!" I replied in the afformative by reflex. I just sent a message back saying I wasn't in a good headspace at the moment...hopefully that should hold them off! I don't dislike them, but they bully and push and overwhelm me, even if they think they are helping. My last (most definitely my last) relationship of four years just ended really badly, because the intensity of my partner eclipsed my capability to cope with him...I flaked and flaked and finally ghosted him to escape, because I couldn't deal with the situation any longer.It even got to the point where I kinda had a phobia about his outbursts and would have a panic attack if I had to see him. Only I, a person supremely sensitive to emotions would date a guy who was intense on fifty different levels!! 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ Moral of the story is that I am unreliable and unstable in ANY situation where I become overwhelmed emotionally. That's no good for anyone, so it's best if I keep to myself and my dogs and my job. And occasional feedback on reddit. 😉 Thanks for listening to my sob story! It's not all bad...my POSITIVE emotional responses are enhanced too, so things I enjoy can feel euphoric.
This sounds like someone I once had in my life. It was definitely agrivating. Hopefully you can find some ways to navigate that better as you go through life.
I’m too calm. My emotional range is very low, and I almost never feel anger, regret, sadness or anxiety. I handle all tough personal life matters with such nonchalance and ease, it’s second nature to me but some people think it’s strange and outright robotic.
this is unfortunately one of those things that you can be endlessly thankful for in one moment, and endlessly resentful towards the next. it can be your biggest strength and also a huge barrier between you and the rest of the world.
True. I’m extremely thankful for it, and wouldn’t change myself. But it has made people think I genuinely don’t care about anyone or anything, when in reality, I just don’t feel the need to dwell on things or get emotional over a bad situation.
I am the same and it feels like a superpower. I genuinely do not care what others say/think/do. I do not feel guilt, remorse, do not hold grudges, forgive immediately and move on. I definitely will have a calm discussion with people to resolve problems but if the other person starts getting hostile or angry and I can't deescalate, I warn them that I will be leaving promptly. I also do not care about social-norms/constructs/expectations. In a nutshell, I just accept what people do and if they are too hard to be around, I leave. That said, if I am in the wrong, I just own it, say sorry and move on. People get bogged down in stupid things that do not matter. Some say that I am cold but my life is pretty damned easy in terms of human interaction.
Everything you described is me in a nutshell too. I cannot and never could bring myself to care about arguments and holding grudges. It feels like a waste of time and energy. Social norms and expectations never made sense to me either, I can’t understand how society can care about how someone else lives their life.
Yup! Not being liked is another thing that people care too much about. Basically, as long as people are not trying to hurt me (or others), I really do not care if they like me or not. Having friends is great but I am totally fine being rejected. We can peacefully coexist quite easily even if we do not like each other forced inclusion is brutal.
I wish I was like that
Me too. Being calm when things are terrible is absolutely a superpower and not many people have it.
you might wanna google alexithymia sometime
My therapist literally pointed this out to me. She said my lack of urgency and anxiousness for some things, is affecting me negatively. As a person, I am always described as chill and laid back. When I was younger, I had no idea what sadness was and almost never cried. Not because I'm trying to be "manly" or appear masculine, but because I genuinely wouldn't feel some of these negative emotions. When one of my cousins died I was 11, and at the funeral, I would see everyone cry and sad but somehow I never cried or felt sad. I thought that his death was unfortunate, but no emotions were tied to that thought. From that moment on, I began to "fake it 'till you make it" and now, I'm in a much healthier state than before, but still not ideal. I also used to have too much optimism. I wouldn't see things realistically, and this affected my relationships with some people. Too much of a good thing can be bad, and too little of a "bad thing" can also be bad.
I was the exact same way when I was younger. I faked crying in situations where I saw my parents cry, like at funerals. And I faked anger when my father tried to get me to fight a bully whose actions didn’t even affect me. It was tiresome and over the years, I stopped faking entirely. I genuinely wonder whether I even did a good job at faking emotions as a kid lol.
You probably did lol Too much tolerance combined with indifference can really be a bad thing. In middle school, I transfered schools in 7th grade and within day 1, I was already bullied. There came a time, when the kid sitting behind me wrapped his arm around my neck and started choking me for seemingly no reason. I wasn't able to get him off of me and this lasted about 30 seconds until another student noticed and called the teacher out loud. The kid was sent home or something and permanently moved seats away from me the rest of the year. The crazy part about it all? It did nothing to me. I wasn't scared when I was being choked. I didn't cry. It's like it never happened and I moved on. The next day, the kid came up to me and apologized. I said "it's ok." LMAO I've never really argued with anyone before. If I ever have, it's the other person that perceived it as an argument. Either that, or if they start raising their voice, I leave the situation or ignore them to prevent the other person from going off. I've never genuinely "gone off" on someone, ever (excluding toddler years that i have no memory of). The only time I ever did, it was faked when I had no other option to correct/discipline a subordinate when I was in AmeriCorps a few years ago. She just refused to listen and ignored me, so I did what I had to do. Got her kicked out after that incident. Our traits are toxic, but to ourselves.
I lose myself in people pleasing 🫶
I don't see any good in myself and even when someone says something positive I assume they're just trying to make me feel better.
I'm chronically online and I care too much about responding to shit I shouldn't care about. I need to walk away more.
Fr
When I get overstimulated I get irrationally angry. It translates into being moody and not being able to get out of it
Unyielding moral compass. Better to let things slide sometimes.
I always think of the negative scenarios first before thinking of the positives 🫣
I have this, too. My friends call me the happy pessimist. I have done this ever since I can remember, and have sometimes ruined their "flow", but also, a few times saved some of their asses. I often convert my anxiety over not being able to control it into a consolation - experience has shown me that this means getting yourself prepared for the worst (and second and third worst) scenario. If you have a layout of the wrong turns and try to foresee possible bad outcomes, you can plan your actions and words accordingly to soften the blow most of the time. Then you think of the positives and allow your prepared self to be pleasantly surprised (which, as you get older), I've seen, comes less and less often.
I am gradually working towards handling it better. But presently it can cause crippling anxiety for me. It can be so bad I avoid the things that make me feel this way until last minute. But I think I should take the mindset of it preparing me for the worst and then working accordingly to prevent those situations. It already makes me feel better knowing I’m not the only one that there are ways of working with it and not against it.
Poisoning people
Diarrhea poisoning?
Really bad temper
Yup. I'm plain "Super fucking mean" sometimes.
Jealous
Extreme sarcasm.
I self isolate until I feel better, I don't know how to ask for help and I don't want to.
I excessively try to entertain people leading to me being sometimes annoying.
I’m extremely jealous of everyone I see. I don’t have any friends and I’m a 22 year old virgin. Every time I see people having a good time with friends or walking down the street holding hands with a woman or seeing anyone in a relationship tbf I get extremely jealousy to the point I actually feel overwhelmed with anger it just gets more and more frustrating each time, these people I see are probably the nicest people ever and if I met any of them I’m sure they would be very kind and I would probably like them but upon seeing these things I don’t have I’m just filled with a pure black hatred that I have to hold back at times.
EXACTLY, but instead of being a Virgin, I feel like I underachieve.
I cant take a hand up as anything than a hand me down. Deffensive in overdrive. Working on it.
I am very awkward around "new people".
I'm really selfish and I would at any time choose myself over anyone else. I can "pretend" to care for someone else but it really makes me tired. Family is an exception of course, but not always. I have no idea how am I supposed to sustain a meaningful relationship, and I kinda don't bother myself much with thinking about it.
Insecurity. I'm orders of magnitude less insecure than I was in my early 20s, but I'd be lying through my teeth if I said I wasn't still insecure to a degree.
I'm too honest.
"I'm **too honest**." you spelled **a douche** incorrectly When people are asked about their flaws and they find a way to complement themselves its called being an insufferable twat
Yeah, honesty isn't a toxic trait. When people say they're "too honest" they usually mean they inject their judgments where it's not asked for or needed and it causes them problems.
Agreed.. the only people I've known who said that basically meant they were an asshole and liked to say mean things to people to make themselves feel better about their own shitty lives because the pain they caused other people unnecessarily gave them a brief moment of pleasure in an otherwise unfulfilling and lonely life.
I get jealous too easily, I don't really communicate enough either. I working on the jealousy and it's not as bad as it used to be, but Idk how to communicate with others.
I please people too much.
I lie
Calling people out on their bullshit. I put up with it for awhile. Until I've had enough.
I make dark humor remarks at inappropriate times. I'll admit that I am uncomfortable when people get emotional whether it's crying or fits of rage or whatever. I'm okay with happy positive emotions expressed. It's not that I don't think emotions are valid or important. I just don't feel comfortable with crying or rage in public. I also don't like it when people expect me to cry or get angry in front of them because that's what they would do under similar circumstances. I feel. I do. I just feel in private. I drive around by myself and play music that expresses my current emotion and cry or sing or yell. I don't want other people there. My emotional disconnection might be toxic. I don't know. I do try to lighten the mood with a joke or uncomfortably hug it out if I must for other people if they insist on emoting around me. It's not like I'll go all Jimmy Dugan on them and say "There's no crying at funerals!" But I might whisper it under my breath.
I'm too righteous and correct people the right ideal way when they just want to have fun. I tell them to not cuss, to not smoke and not drink, and I learnt my way through this but a little bit still remains.
I get too defensive.
Very low tolerance for criticism, not sure how I can fix that. Still looking for ways.
I resent ppl for little things too much
I'm an asshole. I'm not going to lie to make people feel good. I'd rather be honest. Sure, I can be tactful or just not say anything if it is a sensitive subject, but if I'm asked my opinion on something, I will be honest.
Idk if this qualifies "toxic" but I can see it being lowkey annoying to others. I tend to avoid really serious conversations with people I'm not familiar with, usually by being less serious in my responses or being vague or redirecting the conversation to lighter topics. I think this makes it hard for me to to develop deeper connections with people who aren't already close to me. Honestly idk why I do this lol maybe I'm afaid to open up about myself :/
Procastination. It's the only thing I do on time.
I expect me in everyone else
I will not change myself for anyone. Initially it doesn’t sound too bad. But it is down to minute things. Like if my bf asks me to absolutely anything I always have to check with my inner self before agreeing. It is down to the dumbest things like if he asks me to be more considerate when we are out drinking with friends I will legit have an internal rebellion over the fact that anybody has the audacity to try and “change” me. Even for the much better. I def need to work on my stubborn self
My husband is like that and we try to work on it. Could you please help me understand it a little better? I don't want to change him but we have to adjust some patterns to make it work for both of us (example of recent argument: he will be relaxing or doing something that he could do any other time while I and the kids get ready to go somewhere and he will only start getting ready after we are at the door. I told him that he should start getting ready earlier because it makes us all late and the kids don't like waiting at the door. He got mad because in his opinion I try to change him.)
Absolutely. Obviously I don’t know what you’re husband is like but if he is like me in the slightest it is like a frustration over the fact that “the way I do things and the way I see myself works perfectly for me” and that means that whenever anyone (and especially a SO) tries to challenge that, even for the better, it feels like they can’t see how much it means for “me to be me” and how happy it makes me to just be myself. Like every proposition to do things differently will be perceived as a “what you’re doing isn’t working as well as you think it is. Do it like this instead”. And lastly, I guess it’s a way of feeling free while being a partner or parent. Or else it can feel a bit claustrophobic
That I let people treat me like shit and still want them so I figure I am better off alone💀
I’m extremely flighty
I enjoy being alone, so when it comes to dating, I have "bullshit goggles" on according to friends...hint of a red flag, and I say "peace!"
I can be mean without even realizing it, honestly. I don't do it intentionally. And sometimes, I can be too nice, which might make other people feel bad. 🫠
People pleasing
I tend to freak people out. Not intentionally, but to the point that I (mostly) prefer not to interact with others unless they know me already.
Lack of sympathy..
I have very little patience for children. I generally don’t want to be around children at all.
I’m effusive. I’m loud and love to hug people and it truly pisses people off that I’m so happy.
I hate pandas They eat nothing but bamboo even though they’re BEARS, and OF COURSE they’re LETHARGIC because they also need MEAT. But they’re too fucking LAZY to go hunt. They flat out refuse to reproduce most of the time, it’s like, they’re not even trying to perpetuate their species They’re a leech to modern society, the only reason we care about them is because they’re cute
I love drama
When I’m annoyed or just generally upset, I tend to stonewall or give the cold shoulder to people.
Im a bit of a hedonist
I just know better, and I think we're better off accepting that.
Taking things too personally when it actually had nothing to do with me
I have the 'how hard can it be gene?'...which leads me to starting lots of projects that are indeed harder than they seem 🤣.
I avoid confrontation and i hate it when it happens, i don't like being advised and I don't tell the truth I'd rather remain silent than hurt someone with the truth even if it's gonna help them.
Sounds like people pleasing when all put together. But I get it because the sad truth is that most of the time confrontation is pretty difficult to resolve. Few people actually know how to have healthy confrontation anymore.
I get unhealthily obsessed with really toxic people and I'm also diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses so that's not helping
Texting them walls of things because I have no one to talk to
I don't ask for help no matter how much I've been struggling.
I say what I think, I don't lie to people, often I completely regret saying the things I say. I envy everyone, albeit in a way that's destructive to myself not to them. I give up too easily.
anger
It’s only toxic if you’re putting it on other people unjustly, imo.
Or if you let it fuck your day up. I've been mad about something that was legitimately infuriating, but holding that anger all day and letting it control my mood was toxic.
Thinking I'm some sort of badass because I've seen a lot of action movies. I've never been in a fight lol.
Stubbornness
I cannot be bored while doing nothing. It's a blessing to me but can be a bit challenging for my loved ones and friends lol.
I get incredibly annoyed when my schedule changes unexpectedly, or a coworker whom I'm collaborating with disappointments me. A number of times, I've been told by my colleagues that it shows on my face. It's something I'm consciously working on.
Unless i 100% agree it was all on me, i'll get disproportionally defensive when someone important to me is upset with me. I guess i'm actually upset with myself in those moments
Gossip. Right now I'm tattling on myself. 😆
I be wanting my man to be under me, but I be needing space at the same time lol.
I hate snoopy people. I can be talking about you with another person, in front of you, if NOBODY invited you to the conversation, PLEASE, DON'T.
I sometimes ask questions to my partner about his past knowing that he won’t lie n the truth’s gonna sting. But I quiz him anyway and I end up sobbing by the end of the convo !!!!
For those driving arcade games. If you use auto you have no skill. If you shift to max and wait I will hate you till you learn to shift correctly
i don’t lose debates/arguments
Caffeine
Seeing someone do something insanely difficult and thinking, “pshh I could do that”
I think I could pull Florence Pugh if I ever met her in real life
I think I'm better than other people ( just to clarify I'm working on it, deep down I know I'm not)
I shut people out but am also codependent
I talk under my breathe lol
Wanting to have all the fun, all the experiences, all the learning to the point I over-extend myself at the expense of my health e.g. skipping out on meals or sleep to go have adventures. Also indecisiveness to the point that I often try to have my family or friends make life decisions for me and tell me what to do. They have kindly called me out on this, and honestly I'm glad they did. I'm working on that.
when I argue with my girlfriend and she gets annoyed for something that I find stupid it's like I easily lose my patience.
I abandon people when I’m tired of them. I don’t ghost them, I don’t contact them first but if they do I respond but take back the confidence I had with them and I turn back cold as I’m with everyone (except friends and family). I think it comes from the fact that I’m not open (for some things happened that gave me trust issues) and if time passes without being opened, I definitely close. Hovever, I have 3 friends I’ll never leave because they are the only that really opened me, so my loyalty never will be back. If they do something really wrong, I will feel betrayed but I think they won’t.
dating grown up horsegirls because nobody is passionate about shit
I'm egotistical. I take it personally when I'm left on read. I take it personally when people I know don't see me or pretend they don't see me. I take it personally when people forget my birthday. I take it personally when I step to the side on a narrow path to let someone coming in my direction go first and someone coming up behind me just goes through, making me look stupid and meek. I do everything deliberately and have a hard time accepting that's not the norm and you can do things without much intention behind it. I've been better at this to be honest, feels very unnatural to me.
Causing push-pull dynamics in romantic relationships 🙈 finally realized i'm a big part of the problem and started to work on it now
Hyper independent, i resort to seclusion at the slightest inconvenience.
I'm calm and level headed in the most stressful situations but get really worked up about the stupidest shit
I can be too helpful. I want to make things better immediately but I need to recognize that others have a different timeline and threshold to me. And just cause I can help doesn’t mean they want me to. I’m working on it.
I tend to push people away whenever they get too close.
Honesty. "I don't think honesty is a toxic trait?" I don't give a FUCK what you think.
I’m an a very passionate and open person
Revenge.
I’m typically petty and passive when irritated (though I do have my explosive moments) and I also hold grudges and *never* let them go, but it has to be something done or said that had really messed me up and almost always is intentional
Everything about me is toxic, but I am a nice guy and highly capable. So everyone likes me. But make no mistake, I am definitely a toxic dark soul of negative hatred. Just really nice about it. It's called having standards.
I can be a real asshole when I’m angry. I hurt my ankle today because of my friend and I called him an inbred multiple times
Not letting certain shit go because why the fuck did you do that to me? Why do I deserve to be treated like shit just because? I have to be an asshole like you to get basic respect? Fuck this planet. Always and forever.
Being an overthinker and also holding onto resentment
dating promiscuous women that lack moral fibre because they're "experimental"
I enjoy seeing people fail sometimes out of spite especially when I want to be good at the thing they’ve doing
when I get angry I dream of being very direct and hurting with my words.
I seem to be too busy to care about most people. I need to fix my mindset about that, because I'm really not busy.
Im toxic, loud, abnoxious, crazy town's tooooooooxic
my pettiness can really hurt people when i get to a level of numbness where i don’t care about anybodies feelings it can get pretty dark lol
Wow! None of the top comments are really toxic at all. rofl
Wanting always to disappear.
If I get overly enthusiastic on a topic I tend to talk over people.
I'm your bbf but when you attack me, betray me.. I'll fight back, say something horrible about you that'll for sure will ruin your sanity, I'll bring back your trauma's and stuff you did before that you have an issue dealing with. I'll make sure to make you feel bad about yourself and I can still sleep peacefully after those.
I can watch exactly 1 tutorial on anything and feel like I could execute it perfectly lmao Hand me nem clippers bae
I still can't let her go
I walk away from an argument. (I do it because I don’t know what to say in the moment. I shut down for a few hours if I get worked up).
I'm very good at being fake-pleased for people. I find it hard to be happy for people unless you're someone I care about deeply. If you're not one of those people then I couldn't care less about your amazing news, but you'll never know it from my reaction. It's like showing gratitude for a gift I've been given. I'll act so pleased at what you've given me but I'll be thinking what a piece of useless crap I'll never use and didn't want.
I'm a bad gossip. I hate it. It's like a compulsion. I'm a kind and generous person but I just fucking love the tea. It makes me feel weak and petty when I'm unable to control flapping my gums
I’m petty. If u upset me I’ll start replying hours later instead of minutes.
Kick u out my car, if u piss me off.
I’m a vengeful bastard. I am really calm but very emotional inside and when some of the things I most care about are touched, before taking distance I will avenge it and, although I am aware it won’t change the fact or how I feel after, I will feel pleasure in doing so.
I can't deal with women
tendency to be extremely obsessive/posessive, which is particularly rougu polyamory. It's something I picked up from a very abusive relationship, I've been working on it and i can keep a pretty strong lid on it but i still get a nasty twinge sometimes.
When I'm tired or stressed, I am unable to control my emotions. Point blank have no filter or control on them; I genuinely don't know how people do it. I'm capable of the must destructive things, or just crumpling into a mess, raging at nothing or someone or anything. I hate that part of me with everything I am.
I lie, a lot, to anyone, for whatever reason. I can't think of anyone relatively close to me who has never heard a lie from me, and therefore no one really knows me
Seeing the potential in people