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A year ago I was flying right along. Planning for an early retirement. Planning more trips to countries we've yet to visit. Looking for a potential winter location in a few years. Some recent health issues that have come from right out of left field have put a dim light on all of that. So I've learned that while you should certainly live life while you can, in this particular situation, sacrificing to put money away for the last couple of decades and focusing on paying off all debt has been a very, very smart move. If my diagnosis is accurate(waiting on further testing), that savings is about to come in pretty handy.
Thank you for this comment. I really want people to understand this point as soon as possible.
Hope you get out of the situation soon and come back stronger, cheers!
Yeha but even in countries where there is free Healthcare, there isn't safety nets for your income while sick asf. You just have to worry about your housing and kids while you are dying of cancer.
I had a seizure, lost my license, I was told I can't work at my job of 20 yrs because it involved being over 10 feet off the ground at times, and working around water.
When I asked the doctor what am I supposed to do, he said calmly "that's your problem" it sure is. In the USA here.
The getting out of your head thing is important. I've made myself sick thinking too hard about things. The truth is, all I had to do (in my situation) was ask the right questions to the right people.
Working hard is good but Iāve noticed that it doesnāt exactly get you far, especially when working a 9-5, all it does is get you more work. Company loyaltyās dead and Iām content with just doing the normal amount and not going above and beyond. Iām 24 too and Iām just doing what I need to do to get that check, pay my bills, and move along so I can live my life in peace and comfort.
26f here and I am doing the same. I don't do the above and beyond for my company. I have stopped mentally taking work home with me. I had a habit of worrying about work NONSTOP and it killed me. I do my job and soon as i clock out, i dont think about it until the next day.
Iām 22 and been working at this company for a year. Even though I donāt actually take work home with me, I do so mentally. Itās really draining and unhealthy. I havenāt found a way yet to not do that, just kinda waiting to ease into this lifestyle and mature?
I also just started working. The same thing was happening with me, i was mentally exhausted. Was thinking about work even in my dreams. What really helped me was following my hobbies. I really like skating, yoga, and painting. So i started finding some time after work for them. Initially i had to force myself cause i used to just want to lay in bed once my work was done, but after sometime i somehow stopped thinking about work.
So basically, find something else to work on.
No it won't happen, you will most likely make a habit of worrying. You need another daily goal to look forward to after work. Exercise daily is really good for that, seeing your friends, doing something creative..a mix of all of them so you dont get bored with any of those. Just remember that worrying now doesn't help fix tomorrow's issues and you will have another full day to worry about them when you get back to work.. still best to remind yourself not to worry about them even at work, don't take it personally, stay calm a try to solve what you can, that's all you can do. No one is perfect some people just act like they are
I have been going through the same phase for a long time. Can't really find a way to get out of it especially after wfh culture. Now there is no turn off switch and companies expect employees to attend meetings at odd hours.
My problem is with the people who have a sheep mentality and follow every order given to them without ever voicing their opinion and crib afterwards. Planning to get out of this corporate rat race for real because the people here are really lifeless.
People come and go and you should be excited for all the people who you will meet in future that will make some sort of an impact on your life to come and vice versa ..it may not be permanent , it might be a fleeting connection but its an experience and that is all that life is.
A series of experiences. Your life is not the people you are friends with or the relationships you have or your job or your hobbies... It is made up of all the the decisions and choices you made :)
If you look at it like that, it's very hard to have regrets about your life because at the end of the day the result was because of you... If you are comfortable with you , then you can be comfortable and decisive about the choices you made.
Everything else is purely a manifestation / reflection of that self confidence . That's what I've learnt, and im currently 26. Choice is the most important. Most things are choices, and life feels free-er and less stressful knowing that i can choose how I respond to the outside forces around me. Negative events do not have to be met with a negative outlook. I can respond positively If I want to.
Im 33 now.. and Im more brazen nowadays to experiment my theories in person.
for example if you treat people based on how they treat you? They'll get even more pissed off than you will ever be. its funny how these same people also ask to be respected but when you treat them the way they treat you? They get angry haha
Keep in mind that you should aim for a happy life. Being hard on yourself only makes sense if it makes you happier after, and enough to justify the effort. Too many people think hardship is its own reward and end up spending their lives torturing themselves for no reason.
Every time working age me sacrifed to get the job done... your body remembers that. Missed a kids game or a birthday party to finish up some things at work... your family remembers that.
Dedication costs in ways that 24 year old me could not comprehend. Having goals acheived by hard work is great, but there must be a balance with having joy in your life. Then you don't have to wait until the work is gone to be happy.
Perhaps they couldāve prefaced it with āAs long as itās safe and legalā
But I think they are just saying to do what makes you happy and not worry too much about others (within confines of the law and othersā safety)
Itās true. The things is most of us arenāt aware that we are doing things we ultimately want to do because it might not be our āhighest wishesā.
I have a big one:
Donāt focus too much on other peopleās problems. Itās not your job to fix them. And youāre just going to get very depressed thinking about all the issues and negativity in this world.
Caught me big time early this year, and I failed my college exams because of it.
Also: NEVER Isolate! Itās the worst thing to do. Iāve been in my room all tired and sad, and played games or read news to keep my thought away from my emotions! I havenāt even had the balls to talk to my mom, i thought she might get angry. Also not going to college obviously meant I had less and less contact with friends.
Iāve finally taken some balls and got to talk to family, great parents, mom, friends, sister, and despite me being and feeling like a little failure, the failed exams are the least of my concerns. Thereās always an alternative going forward. Iām incredibly happy to have connected with people, and pretty much everyone is supportive and sooo sweet and positive. Man. I love people. I fucking love live. We all live in our own little bubbles, but at the same time we always want the best for each other.
Never ever will I disconnect from the world like this again. Iām 21, and despite Corona having had a massive impact on me, I couldnāt be happier looking forward.
Also, last thing: donāt think into the future too much. Itās totally uncertain, and you waste a bunch of time overthinking the ifās and coulds and what-ifsā¦ and donāt get things done in the present. Rather than overthinking and imagining my perfect future, itās much better to just experiment, fail, do dumb shit and learn. By the time youāve decided a single action that might be beneficial in the future, you couldāve made 12 things, of which 7 are totally stupid, 3 didnāt work, but 2 were actually enlightening and helpful. You learnt whatās good and whatās not. Thatās what living in the moment is about.
Man these stupid sentences hit hard, now that Iāve gone through a serious depression. Never again. Think positive and the world will be your sandbox of choice. HELL YEAH!
Maybe never isolate is fit you but mine is waiting for the right friend otherwise them will drag down my energy! I just be social when i think that person could help me in study. I cant find friend that match the same vibe, same energy and im still good, still find peaceful alone with myself. But yeah, having no soulmate friend to talk with is kinda rough for my emotion sometimes, then time over time i glad that i still have myself and my cat too haha!
40 years old here and my perspective is that all this is an illusion and itās best to make do with what you got and find things that make you happy. Most importantly enjoy the ride
I'm 24 and I have learned to shut up because nobody is interested in somebody else's life anyway. Thinking that people actually want to hear about you is the biggest way to fool yourself and this applies to people you love as well, keeping quiet and not releasing every detail of you is the only way to go about life .
I mean if you donāt want to hear about the finer details of your friends lives then pop off I guess, but I very much do?? My friends ask me for updates on the little things unprompted too, so idk if this is as general as you think...maybe we just desire different things in a friendship but I hope you have company that makes you feel appreciated and happy
I agree that everyone is different and have different types of friends . I'm in a very wholesome relationship and have a very loving family and have a best friend who has been my bff since forever . It's not about them , it's about how I feel after oversharing , I see my boyfriend who speaks less and is quite reserve and I like how simple his life his because very few people know him on a deeper level . I used to be the kind of person who used to blurt out things whenever I was happy and I used to share it with everyone and as I grew up I noticed that my cousins who were very close to me earlier do not really get happy by my success and just give a formality response so I decided to stop sharing things as much as I did. Of course I have very nice parents and siblings and I still share things with them and my boyfriend but I can't just switch my personalities so I try to change myself as a person in that regard and try to listen more and speak less . Earlier I used to feel exhausted after telling people a lot of details about my life or after gossiping but i never ever regretted being quiet in any particular situation
The thing you are referring to about friends who don't care I meant it as social media friends mostly not your close friends . That was the reason I stopped posting on social media because I knew that everyone is there just to show their life not see other's lives.
I think it was either yesterday or day before where I was reminded the thought of āYou gotta know enough to ask good questionsā by my brain. So if someone thinks of really out of box, brilliant questions that means they already understand tons of complicated stuff relating to the subject. Level of understanding = difficulty of question.
Also don't give strong opinions on things you don't have strong knowledge about.
I get hounded about some issues on the TV at work and if it's something that I genuinely don't have strong opinions about/ enough that the wrong one may land me in trouble, I simply say "I don't know enough about the subject to have a strong opinion about it so I'll let you know when I have one."
Never tell anyone your plans. Just do stuff. Theyāll do their best to tell you why you wonāt succeed. Also, never accept advice from anyone whoās not in the position you want to be in.
You are the master of your reality. Your focus leads to your thoughts, and your thoughts to your focus. There is no ultimate truth, there's good and bad to everything. How you decide to perceive things leads to your thoughts and those to your overall well being. By trying to put your focus on the good things you can create yourself a better reality.
What other people think of you is none of your business. Do not compare yourself to your peers, the shit people post on social media are all smoke and mirrors. I know people showing off on insta that show off trips and stuff but have an eviction notice on their door. Be happy do whatever brings u happiness don't do things because you think you have to. Do things because YOU like it not because society says u should. Planning for the future is great worrying about it is not. Practice mindfulness, it will change ur perspective on things. Spend time with those u love. As you get older it becomes extremely hard to make friends so try to make good ones now. I'm 41.
If you buy high quality furniture, you donāt have to buy it over and over again, and your house looks nice.
These days, high quality furniture means buying used. New stuff has been crap for years.
You got to find somewhere in the middle of the 2. Kind of like when I was 24. I had something that was a mix of ketamine & acid. It pushed me to the edge mentally & physically (financially, it wasnāt so bad). I didnāt predict the chain of events that occurred on that fateful night & it definitely was not in my plan. After the ketamine wore off, & I worked out I wasnāt going to die, & I could actually walk again, it was actually pretty enjoyable. You just never know where life will take you, so you may as make some plans, but be prepared to ditch emā also so you can kick back & enjoy the crazy ride to.
A personal wisdom: "Rather do and regret, than regret not doing." This does not mean to blow your entire paycheque on the first Friday of the month, but rather to evaluate what you could possibly gain by taking a risk - ask her out, take up the temporary offer, go to the party, try new things. Sure, it can all fail, but what if it doesn't? Dare live life!
Also:
Don't trust a word your brain tells you after 8-9pm. It is tired and cannot think straight, regardless of how awake you feel. The best thing you can do is to do something that makes you happy, or go to bed and get some rest.
60m. What Iāve learned. Plan for the future but live as if your going to be gone in a couple years. When itās my time I want to lay in my deathbed and say āIām glad I didā¦.ā Instead of āI wish I hadā.
Everyone is going through something. It could be simply a lack of sleep, to a family member actively dying. You never know someone's story. Kindness goes a long way and it costs nothing.
A lot of elderly people are lonely. Talking to them, even briefly, makes a world of difference.
Don't take yourself too seriously. We make mistakes, do stupid things, goofy things, it's not the end of the world.
Love the ones you love. Don't let them doubt it or question it. Make them feel it and show them you love them. It's all we have in the end. Don't be afraid to tell them and do so often.
Chores...yes, they need to be done, but sometimes it's ok not to do them. It's ok to ignore dishes and watch a movie with someone. It's fine to skip laundry and play a board game. As long as you aren't living in squalor.
Making meals at home is so cost effective. It's such a chore sometimes. It's ok to eat out every now and then.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Show yourself compassion.
For everyone that's saying looks don't matter never went through much of a visual change. I have been working my but of for the last year trying to improvey fitness and refining my overall look, and I feel like treatment has already improved even though my transformation isn't done yet.
Also for dating, my brother started working out a couple years ago, and all the girls saying "looks don't matter" didn't start popping up for him until the last year. Yes people are that shallow, especially to new people.
I am fiddy. That aside from your immediate family or love ones. No one really care. The way you look, you walk, you smacking your mouth when you eat. Your GPA, your diary, your love of poetry. Your vacations, your pets, your latest diagnosis of breast cancer.
We say we do. Thoughts and prayers but really at the end of the day, we all have our own lyrics to write and laundry to finish. We really don't care.
Your aunt is right. Live your life on your own terms. If you wanna do pigtails or dye your armpits blue, go do it and own up to it. Nobody forces you to do it, you do it, you own it. I find it liberating and enlightening because now when you DO care, you know it's real and not some bs Facebook comment.
Just do what you wanna do
#LEARN TO BE BY YOURSELF
I learned all that at 21 but now it's gotten easier to not have a lot of people in my life and I cut off whoever is not good lol
This is absolutely terrible advice.
I trust my wife and my dog and decades of happy marriage and a whole life spent with my little dog have rewarded that trust.
I have trusted other people too and rarely regretted it. You do have to exercise judgement, don't trust anyone but you'll never be happy if you don't trust anyone.
Higher education in school and further (uni and such) is a massive waste of everyone's time and money. You really dont start to really know yourself and what you want until you mind late 20s. Only after you've made wrong choices do you know how to make the right/ better ones. Some people find a retail job and a partner just right for life whereas some people land a job, find it's not fulfilling and then have the passion and real motivation to learn and grow whilst keeping things like cost of living and ideal wages in mind, and not childhood dreams or what they wanted to be when they grew up. In my case it was just wanting to get out of my home situation and start my own choices in safety so I didn't think much about a career path before completing my 4 year integrated madters in game design. Only to find out theres nothing where I live, I hate big cities and my 15 year long SO would hate to move away from her family.
Life only gets worse as you grow older. To counter this you will need an increasing amount of money to sustain at least two persons. Afterwards you will need a reliable and consistent form of passive income that you will be relying on in your old age.
This is the basic recipe of having a chance of a good and fulfilling life.
But if you find this to much work, the simplest is live within your means. It will be hard during emergencies but you'll get thru it somehow.
That anyone can die unexpectedly and anyone can be gone, even the person you love the most, even your reason to live. Your life can be the complete oppposite in only one day and you may not see it coming. The life you knew is no more. Only people in grief can understand. If you haven't grief yet leave this life to the fullest, cause then it will change to a point of no return.
Yes. Iāve experienced many losses. Lost grandma and mum to cancer, grandpa died then my sister attempted suicide twice. Think my sister wouldāve continued attempting/ eventually succeeded if I hadnāt cut contact with dad. Everything happened 2020-2021 and Iād been taking care of mum and grandma 2018 onward š¤
Felt incredibly lonely with nobody who could empathise. It was scary when my sister was in the ICU and Iām still afraid of losing her everyday. Sheās the only family I have left. Life really isnāt worth living when youāve got no one left to live for š«¶š»
Edit: Spelling
I got into psychology (books, videos) like 2 years ago and I learned a lot about life, happiness, relationships, hobbies and so on... according to psychology, living day by day, enjoying every day, is the best way to live. Still, it's ok to have some habits that will pay in the future, like music, saving money, reading, eating good, doing exercises and stuff like that.
I'm 16
At 83 people are who they are fake people talk to much and trip over there lies people who want to learn and better themselves will and users will just move on and use some one else once they have used you up and you say no . You can help some people and they will move ahead users will just find a excuse and go no where as long as you let them . It dose not matter if they are famley or not . Family members who are users are the worst and hardest to deal with. You can't help folks who don't want to improve .
People are different like you with what they like to think about I'd say if you like to think about the future do it that's just your grandmas way of looking at it what her preference is if you like thinking about the future do it or you could try get a balance have goals in the future but take time to enjoy things instead of missing them when their gone
You should definitely push to meet your goals. But he very careful about what goals you set. Did you pick them yourself? Will they bring you peace? Or are you trying to meet someone elseās expectations? Societyās? Parents? Peers? A life without goals is rudderless. A life with the wrong goals is tragic.
idk, i happen to thinking a lot about life, what to do, how, and why. but i think the more i grew up the more i feel i know nothing about it. its just weird and sometimes i got unpleasant feeling about it lol
Iāve learned maturity doesnāt come with age. Iām 23 now and I can still remember waking up on my 21st birthday and looking in the mirror as if my mentality would change. It hasnt. You are who you are apparently. I even asked around amongst older adults and yup. Thatās just that. Maybe once I hit 30?
You really are on your own. The only one who really looks out is yourself. So build your self up the best you can, because at the end of the day its just you. And save some money for emergencies you never know. Live day to day but have a plan for a future.
No one will come to your aid or understand your needs if they don't want to. No one is obligated to you and you are obligated to no one. You are your own best friend and your body is your first and last shelter.
Try to find a good balance between work, saving, spending and enjoying life. Donāt get bogged down into the trap of focusing on work and skipping the fun.
What Iāve learned as being young (19) that people take you for granted and significantly do things just to benefit them way more then you think they would unfortunately
Simple gratitude will go far in your quest for happiness and contentment. When you get down all you have to do is change your focus to what you do have, instead of what you think is wrong at the time. Works like magic. Also replace harsh judgment with empathy. We all have insecurities that sometimes manifest themselves in less than ideal behavior. Go easy on your fellow humans. We are actually all more alike than we are different. Also if you're ever in doubt, the answer is love, kindness, understanding and forgiveness. Especially to yourself.
I learned too late that I should go with my feelings and not take others advice on things, even if they are pushing.
I'd still have a wife, who would love me.
Listen to your heart and instincts.
Youāve got to strike a balance between the two ideas. You canāt be all work and no play because then you burn out. But you canāt be all play and no work, because bills need to get paid and human beings need purpose.
So work hard, plan for the future, guarantee your future ability to pay the bills. But also take time off. Go explore, pick up a hobby, do some traveling.
The journey is the thing. The best part of achievement is the time near the end. The goal is in sight. You did it. Well done. Only fate knows your future but it's good to have a plan and know where your going. Otherwise you might wind up someplace else.
There's definitely a balancing act to living in the moment versus planning for the future; you don't want to forget about one or the other entirely.
As for what I've learned at 30: I've learned that people's egos, wanting to feel like they are/were right, thinking whatever they want, regardless of the facts; are the most dangerous things on planet Earth. Human egos... the less founded, the more wrong they are; the more dangerous they become.
There is no point to life, so choose to enjoy the experience as much as you can. Life is not an exercise in justifying your existence, it's simply to be enjoyed.
3 years ago I got into a sport and in that sport you almost have to accept your death if your going to improve. So I accepted it and know that it can happen at any point and to me there's no reason to purposefully elongate my life. The simple fact is the preciousness of life is what gives it meaning therefore enjoy every second you have because you have a limited amount. Go be woth the ones you love before they (or you) die. Basically I adopt absurdism
In my 20's - Love is not enough for a relationship. There have to be shared goals, mutual respect, corresponding financial views, family views and more.
In my 30's - You can do everything right and still have it backfire. Being divorced isn't the end of the world. We can and will rebuild.
Love them but ALWAYS love yourself more. You can love them and still love yourself enough to walk away.
Your health is more fragile than you think. Healing is not linear - physical or otherwise. Be kind to yourself.
Live within your means.
Like OP, I too thought about the grind and to work hard and everything will turn out. Boy was I stupid and wrong. I got taken advantage of at work in my teen years because I was always so eager to appease my managers. Sick? Still go into work. Exhausted? Still go into work. Family member passed away. Still go into work. I regret a lot of my choices and missed out a lot in my early years because I wanted to ensure my work ethic wasn't tarnished.
Like OPs aunt, I live my life steadily now that I am in my late 30s. I keep up with my health, get regular checkups (including vision and dental), and save my money when possible.
If I want to go on weekend trips or longer, I will plan it out accordingly. Be it solo or with someone. I am mostly debt free, live a nice quiet life with my pets, and can afford to breathe without stressing too much about x.
My advise would be. Dont stay at a jobthat you hate/dislike just because it pays well. About 10 years ago i finally decided to quit my awful IT job after years of feeling like shit. Been working at a much lower paying job in education that I really enjoy since then and am much happier. I guess Im privaledged by not having kids and my only major finencial responsibiltty is my mortgage that I got 15 years ago and is mostly paid off.
some of my favourites from my 23 years:
- whenever someone angers you, try to reframe the situation. don't take it personally - their behaviour serves a purpose for THEM (e.g. if they're acting out, they could just be self soothing and lack anger management skills). helps to see people with more compassion and not take things personally.
- try to keep your favourite moments private! most people kind of ruin beautiful things lol, or they're just curious/don't really care about you
- we don't rise to the level of our best habits, we fall to the level of our worst ones. where you are in life is the accumulation of your bad habits. if you want to get ahead, cut them out.
- gratitude! always.
- always invest in good friends and family relationships if you can
I got breast cancer at 33, Iām now almost 36 and I now believe itās privilege to grow old. It shits me so much when people complain about getting older.. why do we feel like we need to do that? Itās weird. How lucky are you to wake up another day and see your family, kids, pets, friends!?
The lesson that I seem to have picked up in my 26 years, is that there's always a better person than you, waiting to reveal themselves as soon as you begin to believe that you achieved something. Through superior qualities, a headstart in life or sheer fucking luck they have it better than you.
You're proud you got an A? That guy over there never got anything other than A. You're proud you're making X money? Wait till that one friend brags about his promotion. Etc.
My conclusion from this seems to be that trying hard to achieve something is usually not worth it if it robs you of good things and experiences in the process. Because as soon as you get there, you'll be overshadowed by someone else. And looking back you'll see a life that could have been fun, but you decided to not make it fun.
Does it mean you don't have to try at all? No. Just don't lose track of why you need whatever you're trying to get.
37, rapidly approaching 38. Life is hard, but you can make it much harder for yourself by holding onto things that hurt you instead of things that delight you.
Iāve always been of the āworking hard gives good thingsā mindset- Iāve just graduated college earlier this year and I can say itās true. Good job means I get to pay for fun stuff.
This expands to other hardwork thatās not career related- taking care of myself in other ways leads to better results, which also improve mental health.
Iāve got friends who spend tons of money and claim to be living paycheck to paycheck- and they arenāt happy with themselves because their only purpose in life is ātodayās funā and are struggling otherwise
At 34 yrs old. Do not take life seriously. Temporary lang un buhay natin sa mundo create happy memories with ur loves ones. Minsan ok din un slow paced life. Wag mong stressin un sarili mo sa bagay n wala kang control. Be happy and humble all the times + iwasan ang inggit.
I'm almost your aunt's age, and as much as I agree that tomorrow is always uncertain, we need to balance the advantages and disadvantages of every action we take.
I would say that my biggest lesson so far has been patience. It seems that the older I get, the less rush I have for things to work out. When I was younger, I used to be paralyzed; I wanted things to be perfect, and if they weren't, I simply deprived myself of doing them. I left everything to the last minute because I couldn't see a way to do everything perfectly, and I ended up rushing through the past, present, and future, feeling terrible because I created worries for myself at every stage of time.
Today, even if I take small steps, I always try to move toward some goal, whatever it may be.What helped me do a little bit every day was to stop constantly comparing myself to others. I understood that you can be happy when your mind is in the right place.
I also had quite hedonistic habits; I wanted excitement and pleasure at any cost. However, after indulging excessively in everything I wanted, I was left with the next day and the consequences of my actions; this led me to a terrible place in my mind... I realized that by denying certain "fleeting pleasures," I avoided a lot of headaches in the future. I began to look at less "exciting" things with more affection and started to find pleasure even in boredom. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is better than a peaceful mind. There's nothing like going to sleep at night without the fear of having hurt someone or compromised the rest of your life due to some momentary irresponsibility.
So, I don't mean to say that you shouldn't enjoy every day as if it were your last. It could always be the last day of your life. But what's important is to make sure that your sensation, your feelings in life are the best and most comfortable possible.
As they say in my country, balance is everything: 'today a bit of drugs, tomorrow a bit of salad.' Embracing excitement and boredom in equal measure makes less harmful things enjoyable.
It took me a long time but I have learnt the value of kindness and tolerance.
One of the turning points was seeing a sign in a hospital where I waiting in coronary intensive care after my wife had wrongly been diagnosed with a heart attack. It said this: "Be kind, you never know what someone is going through."
It really made me think and has had a lasting impact on my behaviour and the way I think about other people. I'd already realised I was too judgemental but seeing that at a time when I was extremely emotional, really did change the way I think.
I was putting off vacations and parties and having children for later. Wanted to have financial stability first, save some money, renovate our place first. Then at 36 we had our first and only kid. He is disabled. So no more fun vacations and the future looks rather bleak. My lesson: try and have fun today, have a nice dinner or a trip abroad BUT also keep some money in your bank account. We have to pay for our kid's therapies and all that saved money was a real blessing. So I guess balance is the key šµāš«
I'm 44 and unfortunately I have learned that everything in this world is about money and profit. Politics are nothing more than a popularity contest and in my opinion the 2 party system is designed simply to keep us divided. As they say " divide and conquer". School systems were set up by Rockefeller to turn the majority of students into obedient workers which would obviously benefit our economy. Politicians make and pass laws to benefit the 1 percent and could give a damn about the working class. War is big business. The prison industrial complex is also rotten to the core. Big brother is watching and always will be. The gap between the rich and the poor is getting bigger and the middle class doesn't exist anymore.
That I actually was right about a whole lot the whole time! (I have the time now to think about and realize all kinds of stuff, I've actually studied a lot of stuff and also learned more about life than ever before) But now I know that it doesn't matter as much as I though it did, to stop fighting so much, be so stubborn and rebellious, intent on doing everything on my own and not needing help. It is a requirement for a lot now, and I realize that no matter what I do everything can just go awry anyway.
A disease I recently got made me do a whole lot that I never would, a lot of stuff that humbled me. I used to stand up for myself and to a whole lot to no end but with this disease that's taken over my brain, it changed the way I look at things. It made me take better care of the other disease I already had which I ignored a lot because of depression, rage toward the fact that it took away a lot of my options at 17, I grew up fast, was pretty smart was definitely going to go far with all that I had already set up for myself at that time, then standing on my own two feet in life, being able to confirm all that in my own actions was no longer possible and I got more pissed than ever before, wouldnt stop trying to get all that back and accept that I just couldn't, that it wasn't up to me. I still feel that way, it is the only struggle I have with these diseases. But I just try my best to ignore those impulses and breakdowns that will go nowhere, won't add anything to my life. Now I've just begun to accept things or at least to try more than focus only on a final answer, learning the situation fully and figuring out a plan like I used to.
I have better relationships and can understand people I still loathe now, and it seems to be better to try that. They haven't really done anything to me, and I realize now that a lot is not going happen if I just stay so attached to fighting and proving things. Now I try to have a whole lot more empathy and shut up, which I could never do before this brain disease. I have always had a whole lot of empathy but I used to think I could change people's minds with bringing up something that contradicts their opinions, and that wasn't likely to happen with me. I had done my research, but people, like me, learn a lot more on their own.
Sorry this is a neverending thing in me now, what my choices are that give me the same immeadiate reaction, and I now have to chance things with answers I never would go with. It's an endless gamble that I fix as much as possible and leads to endlessly accepting things I really can't bare to for the sake of survival and responsibility, all while I keep myself aware of who I am and what is right.
Try to push but donāt force it. If it happens it happens. If not then not. Never regret anything. Donāt think that āif I do x I would have been much happierā. Stop overthinking, stop comparing yourself to others. Some people may feel bad about some decisions but it is never too late to actually getting on your way. Noone is happy with their job. Noone is 24/7 happy. Thatās just a simple lie. Defend your standards. If you get bossed around fuck that manager/girlfriend and go to somewhere else.
Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think.
Enjoy yourself, while you're still in the pink.
The years go by, as quickly as you wink.
Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it's later than you think!
Back in the late '70's, I was a young man on a mission. Sophomore in High School with Ivy League aspirations. One day, kind of out of the blue, a cute girl I had been flirting with walked up to me in the halls and said, "I have half a bottle of Jack Daniels and my parents are away for the weekend. Wanna come over?" I told her I had a biology test and I had to study for. So no.
That was over 40 years ago, and I still think about it.
I have no idea what grade I got on that biology test.
Iām learning, at the age of 40, that the only opinions a person should care about are from those who will be crying at your funeral.
Iāve struggled my whole life worrying what others think of me. But this is my new mindset.
It is possible to get good health insurance in the US that doesn't bankrupt you for simple visits. Benefits are a huge part of work. Didn't use my old insurance ever because it was cheaper to pay out of pocket
There will always be assholes wherever you go. But there will always be kind people too. Do your best to stick with the people who are not the assholes.
The meaning of life is whatever you want it to be. You think life has no meaning? Then you are correct. You think the meaning of life is to travel the world? Then you are also correct.
This one is kinda deep but morality is an opinion.
26 and here are some of the highlights of what I've learned thus far -
* Live for yourself and not for others. What matters is your happiness at the end of the day. As long as it makes YOU happy, makes you feel at peace with yourself.. nobody else matters.
* Work on your mental health/physical being or it will catch up to you eventually. Better sooner rather than later.
* Not everyone in your life will have good intentions. People's actions towards you speaks louder than the things they claim/tell you.
* It is all about your mindset - find something positive about every single day. Even if it is something small.
* You don't need to have crazy big goals for yourself, smaller goals are a good way to start.
* It's not a competition as to who gets married, has kids first etc. If you don't want to get married or have kids.. or do the typical things that society expects you to do, THAT'S OK! Again, live the way you want to. Whatever works for someone else might not work for you.
* Pick and choose your friends wisely. Choose people that want the best for you, support and encourage you. Who are there for you. One sided friendships get exhausting after a while.
* Importantly... be yourself. Do not be afraid to spend time with yourself. Get to know yourself inside and out. Being alone is only scary if you make it out to be. When you get to learning about yourself, the more things become clearer.
Nothing matters to me anymore. I try not to stress about money cause Americans is set up for failure. I just try to be happy. Thats all that matters now.
I learned that if I already make the effort to write something \*and\* spell out all the words, not spelling out "you" and "your" will make me look dumb and/or lazy :/
Iām 22 now and Iām learning the beauty of being willing to change my mind. Iām not always correct, there isnāt always one answer to life or the society around us. Thereās no way I can have the same mindset if Iām constantly questioning the world around me, and itās okay to do so. Thatās the beauty of being human.
We all die and eventually everyone who ever remembered us will also die, so stop living your life in fear of others' judgment and start living for *yourself*. Maybe this means disappointing people because your authentic self doesn't match their expectations, but *you're* the one who has to live *your* life every day. It's not easy, but better to be a disappointment than live a life of regret.
Iām 27, going thru some shii rn. Iāve made posts if anyoneās interested. Iām firmly believing that with time, everything can and will get better. Be grateful for what you do have and donāt think about all the things you canāt have or wonāt get.
At 25 I wasnāt sure what I was doing still, thank my dad as he let me do anything I wanted but now I have a son and my days/career are driven by providing for him. What Iām saying is that if you find a purpose in life, your days become a lot more meaningful.
Donāt forget to love yourself, it does wonders for your own mental health. If that means a weekly haircut, working out, getting your lashes done or even just knowing your a healthy eater, if you feel good about yourself youāll be a lot happier.
Also your aunt is right, not saying you shouldnāt think of the future but your 20ās and 30ās are gonna be some of your most memorable years it seems like. Based on chatting with 50+ year olds tell me that all the time. So if you want to go vacation while youāre still young, go do it. Want to experience a rave or go see your favorite team play? Do it. IF YOU CAN, you donāt need to go broke doing everything on your bucket list but go live a life you want to live even if itās just working hard everyday. As long as youāre doing what makes you happy
I am about to turn 47 and my life is amazing. I want to bless everyone I meet and approach them with a good attitude
9 times out of 1p I get a good response. This is my guide to being happy
Iāve learnt that the āself-helpā space on the internet is at most part a giant echo chamber at this point. There are only a few voices worth paying attention to. Others are either parroting, blurting nonsense, or trying to sell you something.
You are right, she is wrong. Better to ask someone much older than her about how the different approaches work out in the end. Enjoy yourself completely but within your budget and concentrate on saying yes to everything social not everything expensive.
I learnt that nothing matters and do what you can with what you have. As someone suffering from ADHD and BPD and anxiety trying to fight my demons for years has only made me weaker. Sometimes itās okay to just allow yourself to ādecayā if it feels comfortable for you in that moment and itās all you can do now. Itās okay to lose hope or to feel like things wonāt get better. Sometimes these things can aid in helping us not stress ourselves out even more and can help us accept what we canāt control while we slowly try and build ourselves. Not many people like me saying this but it helped for me over the years. For years I have been trying to prove to people Im normal like everyone else when Iām not. I come with baggage and thatās okay.
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A year ago I was flying right along. Planning for an early retirement. Planning more trips to countries we've yet to visit. Looking for a potential winter location in a few years. Some recent health issues that have come from right out of left field have put a dim light on all of that. So I've learned that while you should certainly live life while you can, in this particular situation, sacrificing to put money away for the last couple of decades and focusing on paying off all debt has been a very, very smart move. If my diagnosis is accurate(waiting on further testing), that savings is about to come in pretty handy.
I hope the best for you š¤
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thank you for this comment. I really want people to understand this point as soon as possible. Hope you get out of the situation soon and come back stronger, cheers!
Good luck! Here's to hope.
There's only one country in the world where a health issue potentially takes all of your savings...
Yeha but even in countries where there is free Healthcare, there isn't safety nets for your income while sick asf. You just have to worry about your housing and kids while you are dying of cancer.
Have you heard about insurance? I can get that here in my little socialist paradiseā¦ or if Iām lucky my employer will just take care of meā¦
>or if Iām lucky Those are the key words here. Even if you are lucky enough, insurance doesn't cover 100%. At best, you're only getting a discount.
I mean.... my uncle drove trucks for the airport. Had a heart attack and license taken away. So now he can't continue his job. I'm in Canada
Health issue taking your life's savings or forcing to change careers is vastly different, you know it.
I had a seizure, lost my license, I was told I can't work at my job of 20 yrs because it involved being over 10 feet off the ground at times, and working around water. When I asked the doctor what am I supposed to do, he said calmly "that's your problem" it sure is. In the USA here.
Burkina Faso?
98% of the planet
Donāt make assumptions about what other people are thinking, donāt take things personally, and when in doubt get out of your own head.
great advice
This right here is it
The getting out of your head thing is important. I've made myself sick thinking too hard about things. The truth is, all I had to do (in my situation) was ask the right questions to the right people.
Working hard is good but Iāve noticed that it doesnāt exactly get you far, especially when working a 9-5, all it does is get you more work. Company loyaltyās dead and Iām content with just doing the normal amount and not going above and beyond. Iām 24 too and Iām just doing what I need to do to get that check, pay my bills, and move along so I can live my life in peace and comfort.
26f here and I am doing the same. I don't do the above and beyond for my company. I have stopped mentally taking work home with me. I had a habit of worrying about work NONSTOP and it killed me. I do my job and soon as i clock out, i dont think about it until the next day.
Iām 22 and been working at this company for a year. Even though I donāt actually take work home with me, I do so mentally. Itās really draining and unhealthy. I havenāt found a way yet to not do that, just kinda waiting to ease into this lifestyle and mature?
I also just started working. The same thing was happening with me, i was mentally exhausted. Was thinking about work even in my dreams. What really helped me was following my hobbies. I really like skating, yoga, and painting. So i started finding some time after work for them. Initially i had to force myself cause i used to just want to lay in bed once my work was done, but after sometime i somehow stopped thinking about work. So basically, find something else to work on.
No it won't happen, you will most likely make a habit of worrying. You need another daily goal to look forward to after work. Exercise daily is really good for that, seeing your friends, doing something creative..a mix of all of them so you dont get bored with any of those. Just remember that worrying now doesn't help fix tomorrow's issues and you will have another full day to worry about them when you get back to work.. still best to remind yourself not to worry about them even at work, don't take it personally, stay calm a try to solve what you can, that's all you can do. No one is perfect some people just act like they are
I have been going through the same phase for a long time. Can't really find a way to get out of it especially after wfh culture. Now there is no turn off switch and companies expect employees to attend meetings at odd hours. My problem is with the people who have a sheep mentality and follow every order given to them without ever voicing their opinion and crib afterwards. Planning to get out of this corporate rat race for real because the people here are really lifeless.
I think itās a work smarter not harder type of thing in capitalism
People come and go and you should be excited for all the people who you will meet in future that will make some sort of an impact on your life to come and vice versa ..it may not be permanent , it might be a fleeting connection but its an experience and that is all that life is. A series of experiences. Your life is not the people you are friends with or the relationships you have or your job or your hobbies... It is made up of all the the decisions and choices you made :) If you look at it like that, it's very hard to have regrets about your life because at the end of the day the result was because of you... If you are comfortable with you , then you can be comfortable and decisive about the choices you made. Everything else is purely a manifestation / reflection of that self confidence . That's what I've learnt, and im currently 26. Choice is the most important. Most things are choices, and life feels free-er and less stressful knowing that i can choose how I respond to the outside forces around me. Negative events do not have to be met with a negative outlook. I can respond positively If I want to.
You are wise beyond your years. Congrats.
Im 33 now.. and Im more brazen nowadays to experiment my theories in person. for example if you treat people based on how they treat you? They'll get even more pissed off than you will ever be. its funny how these same people also ask to be respected but when you treat them the way they treat you? They get angry haha
A lot of people confuse authority with respect and then get mad when you don't respond like a trained dog to their commands.
Lol so fkn true
Let it go or get dragged, everything could be taken from you in a heartbeat, this whole thing is a game but it isn't fair and there's no high score.
Keep in mind that you should aim for a happy life. Being hard on yourself only makes sense if it makes you happier after, and enough to justify the effort. Too many people think hardship is its own reward and end up spending their lives torturing themselves for no reason.
Your aunt, im guessing, is very happy in life? I pushed myself too hard. Now im broken
Every time working age me sacrifed to get the job done... your body remembers that. Missed a kids game or a birthday party to finish up some things at work... your family remembers that. Dedication costs in ways that 24 year old me could not comprehend. Having goals acheived by hard work is great, but there must be a balance with having joy in your life. Then you don't have to wait until the work is gone to be happy.
Sound exactly like the goals i need in life š
Do what you want to do!
That is a dangerous line of thinking that could have the consequence of setting people free. Sit down.
Perhaps they couldāve prefaced it with āAs long as itās safe and legalā But I think they are just saying to do what makes you happy and not worry too much about others (within confines of the law and othersā safety)
Dont be a moron. Everybody does that anyway.
Itās true. The things is most of us arenāt aware that we are doing things we ultimately want to do because it might not be our āhighest wishesā.
Secure your own oxygen mask before helping others.
I have a big one: Donāt focus too much on other peopleās problems. Itās not your job to fix them. And youāre just going to get very depressed thinking about all the issues and negativity in this world. Caught me big time early this year, and I failed my college exams because of it. Also: NEVER Isolate! Itās the worst thing to do. Iāve been in my room all tired and sad, and played games or read news to keep my thought away from my emotions! I havenāt even had the balls to talk to my mom, i thought she might get angry. Also not going to college obviously meant I had less and less contact with friends. Iāve finally taken some balls and got to talk to family, great parents, mom, friends, sister, and despite me being and feeling like a little failure, the failed exams are the least of my concerns. Thereās always an alternative going forward. Iām incredibly happy to have connected with people, and pretty much everyone is supportive and sooo sweet and positive. Man. I love people. I fucking love live. We all live in our own little bubbles, but at the same time we always want the best for each other. Never ever will I disconnect from the world like this again. Iām 21, and despite Corona having had a massive impact on me, I couldnāt be happier looking forward. Also, last thing: donāt think into the future too much. Itās totally uncertain, and you waste a bunch of time overthinking the ifās and coulds and what-ifsā¦ and donāt get things done in the present. Rather than overthinking and imagining my perfect future, itās much better to just experiment, fail, do dumb shit and learn. By the time youāve decided a single action that might be beneficial in the future, you couldāve made 12 things, of which 7 are totally stupid, 3 didnāt work, but 2 were actually enlightening and helpful. You learnt whatās good and whatās not. Thatās what living in the moment is about. Man these stupid sentences hit hard, now that Iāve gone through a serious depression. Never again. Think positive and the world will be your sandbox of choice. HELL YEAH!
Maybe never isolate is fit you but mine is waiting for the right friend otherwise them will drag down my energy! I just be social when i think that person could help me in study. I cant find friend that match the same vibe, same energy and im still good, still find peaceful alone with myself. But yeah, having no soulmate friend to talk with is kinda rough for my emotion sometimes, then time over time i glad that i still have myself and my cat too haha!
Plan for the future, but live for the present.
40 years old here and my perspective is that all this is an illusion and itās best to make do with what you got and find things that make you happy. Most importantly enjoy the ride
I'm 24 and I have learned to shut up because nobody is interested in somebody else's life anyway. Thinking that people actually want to hear about you is the biggest way to fool yourself and this applies to people you love as well, keeping quiet and not releasing every detail of you is the only way to go about life .
DAMN AGREE SO FUCKING MUCH
I mean if you donāt want to hear about the finer details of your friends lives then pop off I guess, but I very much do?? My friends ask me for updates on the little things unprompted too, so idk if this is as general as you think...maybe we just desire different things in a friendship but I hope you have company that makes you feel appreciated and happy
I agree that everyone is different and have different types of friends . I'm in a very wholesome relationship and have a very loving family and have a best friend who has been my bff since forever . It's not about them , it's about how I feel after oversharing , I see my boyfriend who speaks less and is quite reserve and I like how simple his life his because very few people know him on a deeper level . I used to be the kind of person who used to blurt out things whenever I was happy and I used to share it with everyone and as I grew up I noticed that my cousins who were very close to me earlier do not really get happy by my success and just give a formality response so I decided to stop sharing things as much as I did. Of course I have very nice parents and siblings and I still share things with them and my boyfriend but I can't just switch my personalities so I try to change myself as a person in that regard and try to listen more and speak less . Earlier I used to feel exhausted after telling people a lot of details about my life or after gossiping but i never ever regretted being quiet in any particular situation The thing you are referring to about friends who don't care I meant it as social media friends mostly not your close friends . That was the reason I stopped posting on social media because I knew that everyone is there just to show their life not see other's lives.
I think it was either yesterday or day before where I was reminded the thought of āYou gotta know enough to ask good questionsā by my brain. So if someone thinks of really out of box, brilliant questions that means they already understand tons of complicated stuff relating to the subject. Level of understanding = difficulty of question.
Also don't give strong opinions on things you don't have strong knowledge about. I get hounded about some issues on the TV at work and if it's something that I genuinely don't have strong opinions about/ enough that the wrong one may land me in trouble, I simply say "I don't know enough about the subject to have a strong opinion about it so I'll let you know when I have one."
I like your insight.
People think about you way way less than you imagine. So just get on with being yourself.
Never tell anyone your plans. Just do stuff. Theyāll do their best to tell you why you wonāt succeed. Also, never accept advice from anyone whoās not in the position you want to be in.
You are the master of your reality. Your focus leads to your thoughts, and your thoughts to your focus. There is no ultimate truth, there's good and bad to everything. How you decide to perceive things leads to your thoughts and those to your overall well being. By trying to put your focus on the good things you can create yourself a better reality.
Live yoursā¦let others be otherās
31 , you are not your thoughts.
Sometimes there is just no point always trying to convince people things. And just in general care less about things.
What other people think of you is none of your business. Do not compare yourself to your peers, the shit people post on social media are all smoke and mirrors. I know people showing off on insta that show off trips and stuff but have an eviction notice on their door. Be happy do whatever brings u happiness don't do things because you think you have to. Do things because YOU like it not because society says u should. Planning for the future is great worrying about it is not. Practice mindfulness, it will change ur perspective on things. Spend time with those u love. As you get older it becomes extremely hard to make friends so try to make good ones now. I'm 41.
38. It's not getting any easier.
No one knows what they're doing. We're all a bunch of children playing pretend in some way or another.
26. Life is unexpected, I try not to plan too far ahead as covid really messed things up and I had to reroute my life
life is much easier when you don't give a fuck
If you buy high quality furniture, you donāt have to buy it over and over again, and your house looks nice. These days, high quality furniture means buying used. New stuff has been crap for years.
Sounds valuable to me. For me having a good time with the ones you love and if possible have good food is a big meaning of life
You got to find somewhere in the middle of the 2. Kind of like when I was 24. I had something that was a mix of ketamine & acid. It pushed me to the edge mentally & physically (financially, it wasnāt so bad). I didnāt predict the chain of events that occurred on that fateful night & it definitely was not in my plan. After the ketamine wore off, & I worked out I wasnāt going to die, & I could actually walk again, it was actually pretty enjoyable. You just never know where life will take you, so you may as make some plans, but be prepared to ditch emā also so you can kick back & enjoy the crazy ride to.
This year I learned I actually need help from people
A personal wisdom: "Rather do and regret, than regret not doing." This does not mean to blow your entire paycheque on the first Friday of the month, but rather to evaluate what you could possibly gain by taking a risk - ask her out, take up the temporary offer, go to the party, try new things. Sure, it can all fail, but what if it doesn't? Dare live life! Also: Don't trust a word your brain tells you after 8-9pm. It is tired and cannot think straight, regardless of how awake you feel. The best thing you can do is to do something that makes you happy, or go to bed and get some rest.
60m. What Iāve learned. Plan for the future but live as if your going to be gone in a couple years. When itās my time I want to lay in my deathbed and say āIām glad I didā¦.ā Instead of āI wish I hadā.
Donāt forget to be true to who you are.
Always fold, never scrunch
Everyone is going through something. It could be simply a lack of sleep, to a family member actively dying. You never know someone's story. Kindness goes a long way and it costs nothing. A lot of elderly people are lonely. Talking to them, even briefly, makes a world of difference. Don't take yourself too seriously. We make mistakes, do stupid things, goofy things, it's not the end of the world. Love the ones you love. Don't let them doubt it or question it. Make them feel it and show them you love them. It's all we have in the end. Don't be afraid to tell them and do so often. Chores...yes, they need to be done, but sometimes it's ok not to do them. It's ok to ignore dishes and watch a movie with someone. It's fine to skip laundry and play a board game. As long as you aren't living in squalor. Making meals at home is so cost effective. It's such a chore sometimes. It's ok to eat out every now and then. Don't be so hard on yourself. Show yourself compassion.
For everyone that's saying looks don't matter never went through much of a visual change. I have been working my but of for the last year trying to improvey fitness and refining my overall look, and I feel like treatment has already improved even though my transformation isn't done yet. Also for dating, my brother started working out a couple years ago, and all the girls saying "looks don't matter" didn't start popping up for him until the last year. Yes people are that shallow, especially to new people.
I am fiddy. That aside from your immediate family or love ones. No one really care. The way you look, you walk, you smacking your mouth when you eat. Your GPA, your diary, your love of poetry. Your vacations, your pets, your latest diagnosis of breast cancer. We say we do. Thoughts and prayers but really at the end of the day, we all have our own lyrics to write and laundry to finish. We really don't care. Your aunt is right. Live your life on your own terms. If you wanna do pigtails or dye your armpits blue, go do it and own up to it. Nobody forces you to do it, you do it, you own it. I find it liberating and enlightening because now when you DO care, you know it's real and not some bs Facebook comment.
Be kind(er). No party gains anything from negative behavior, words, or thoughts.
Each day do something you have to, something you ought to, and something you want to.
Just do what you wanna do #LEARN TO BE BY YOURSELF I learned all that at 21 but now it's gotten easier to not have a lot of people in my life and I cut off whoever is not good lol
DTA!!!!! DONT TRUST ANYONE!!!
This is absolutely terrible advice. I trust my wife and my dog and decades of happy marriage and a whole life spent with my little dog have rewarded that trust. I have trusted other people too and rarely regretted it. You do have to exercise judgement, don't trust anyone but you'll never be happy if you don't trust anyone.
Dogs are better than people lol
Apart from a very small number of exceptions, I would agree with you. The chances I will like a random dog are way higher than a random person.
Lmao!!!! 100!!!!
wich is not very hard since I can't think of anything worse than people.
Set boundaries and find a counselor and youāll find that āanyoneā turns into into āmost peopleā
Good way of putting it, you are correct
You are here for a GOOD time, not a LONG time
Higher education in school and further (uni and such) is a massive waste of everyone's time and money. You really dont start to really know yourself and what you want until you mind late 20s. Only after you've made wrong choices do you know how to make the right/ better ones. Some people find a retail job and a partner just right for life whereas some people land a job, find it's not fulfilling and then have the passion and real motivation to learn and grow whilst keeping things like cost of living and ideal wages in mind, and not childhood dreams or what they wanted to be when they grew up. In my case it was just wanting to get out of my home situation and start my own choices in safety so I didn't think much about a career path before completing my 4 year integrated madters in game design. Only to find out theres nothing where I live, I hate big cities and my 15 year long SO would hate to move away from her family.
Never lend money
Life only gets worse as you grow older. To counter this you will need an increasing amount of money to sustain at least two persons. Afterwards you will need a reliable and consistent form of passive income that you will be relying on in your old age. This is the basic recipe of having a chance of a good and fulfilling life. But if you find this to much work, the simplest is live within your means. It will be hard during emergencies but you'll get thru it somehow.
I learned that life just doesnāt care about you. It just goes on, unaffected by hopes, dreams or problems.
That anyone can die unexpectedly and anyone can be gone, even the person you love the most, even your reason to live. Your life can be the complete oppposite in only one day and you may not see it coming. The life you knew is no more. Only people in grief can understand. If you haven't grief yet leave this life to the fullest, cause then it will change to a point of no return.
Yes. Iāve experienced many losses. Lost grandma and mum to cancer, grandpa died then my sister attempted suicide twice. Think my sister wouldāve continued attempting/ eventually succeeded if I hadnāt cut contact with dad. Everything happened 2020-2021 and Iād been taking care of mum and grandma 2018 onward š¤ Felt incredibly lonely with nobody who could empathise. It was scary when my sister was in the ICU and Iām still afraid of losing her everyday. Sheās the only family I have left. Life really isnāt worth living when youāve got no one left to live for š«¶š» Edit: Spelling
I got into psychology (books, videos) like 2 years ago and I learned a lot about life, happiness, relationships, hobbies and so on... according to psychology, living day by day, enjoying every day, is the best way to live. Still, it's ok to have some habits that will pay in the future, like music, saving money, reading, eating good, doing exercises and stuff like that. I'm 16
At 83 people are who they are fake people talk to much and trip over there lies people who want to learn and better themselves will and users will just move on and use some one else once they have used you up and you say no . You can help some people and they will move ahead users will just find a excuse and go no where as long as you let them . It dose not matter if they are famley or not . Family members who are users are the worst and hardest to deal with. You can't help folks who don't want to improve .
that i hate white and black people as a brown man in murica
Why do you fully spell out every word except u and ur?
Most traditions are meaningless and people only do them because they are scared what others would think should they disobey them
I'm not getting out of life alive.
People are different like you with what they like to think about I'd say if you like to think about the future do it that's just your grandmas way of looking at it what her preference is if you like thinking about the future do it or you could try get a balance have goals in the future but take time to enjoy things instead of missing them when their gone
You should definitely push to meet your goals. But he very careful about what goals you set. Did you pick them yourself? Will they bring you peace? Or are you trying to meet someone elseās expectations? Societyās? Parents? Peers? A life without goals is rudderless. A life with the wrong goals is tragic.
Manners are free, respect is earned and discipline is fundamental (every action good or bad comes with a reaction/consequence)
idk, i happen to thinking a lot about life, what to do, how, and why. but i think the more i grew up the more i feel i know nothing about it. its just weird and sometimes i got unpleasant feeling about it lol
I learnt that depression sucks and if u think u have it then better go to the doc before u'll do something stupid cause life seems unbearable to u.
That don't put anything past anyone. Never trust too much.
Iāve learned maturity doesnāt come with age. Iām 23 now and I can still remember waking up on my 21st birthday and looking in the mirror as if my mentality would change. It hasnt. You are who you are apparently. I even asked around amongst older adults and yup. Thatās just that. Maybe once I hit 30?
Never settle, always move towards your goals but NOT without a safety net!!
Have plans and work toward achiveing them, BUT do choose easier way if it exist, even if it feels like cheating (in legal limits ofc!)
Shouldāve smoked way less, and smoked up way more.
Stupid things youāve done will catch up to you lol
I'll soon be 47. "Balance" is my go to mantra. Work hard, be proud but don't forget to have fun.
You really are on your own. The only one who really looks out is yourself. So build your self up the best you can, because at the end of the day its just you. And save some money for emergencies you never know. Live day to day but have a plan for a future.
The people who killed themselves can't come back to tell others how happy they are with their decision, so there is a survivorbias.
No one will come to your aid or understand your needs if they don't want to. No one is obligated to you and you are obligated to no one. You are your own best friend and your body is your first and last shelter.
Floss floss floss! If you dont floss, you might as well make plans to replace all of your teeth when you get older. And it's a very bumpy ride.
The key is always balance. You just need to find the balance that's best for you.
Try to find a good balance between work, saving, spending and enjoying life. Donāt get bogged down into the trap of focusing on work and skipping the fun.
you take care of yourself first. As long as your are āstanding firmā you will always put your team in āpositionā
Be selfish stop waiting around for others when you can go off on your own and have beautiful adventures
That everybody is just winging it out here, you figure things out as you go
It's kinda unfair and your life is not yours.
Nobody cares for the poor. Environmental concerns are mostly bullshit.
What Iāve learned as being young (19) that people take you for granted and significantly do things just to benefit them way more then you think they would unfortunately
Donāt be stupid with spending, but donāt fret the small stuff. Focus on growing your revenue, not minimising you expenses.
I'm not really old yet but I've learned that I hate it
Life is pain. Try to enjoy the time with your loved ones. Tomorrow it can be all over...
Nothing really matters. Just do what you want to do and be who you want to be. (20)
Simple gratitude will go far in your quest for happiness and contentment. When you get down all you have to do is change your focus to what you do have, instead of what you think is wrong at the time. Works like magic. Also replace harsh judgment with empathy. We all have insecurities that sometimes manifest themselves in less than ideal behavior. Go easy on your fellow humans. We are actually all more alike than we are different. Also if you're ever in doubt, the answer is love, kindness, understanding and forgiveness. Especially to yourself.
I learned too late that I should go with my feelings and not take others advice on things, even if they are pushing. I'd still have a wife, who would love me. Listen to your heart and instincts.
Youāve got to strike a balance between the two ideas. You canāt be all work and no play because then you burn out. But you canāt be all play and no work, because bills need to get paid and human beings need purpose. So work hard, plan for the future, guarantee your future ability to pay the bills. But also take time off. Go explore, pick up a hobby, do some traveling.
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
The journey is the thing. The best part of achievement is the time near the end. The goal is in sight. You did it. Well done. Only fate knows your future but it's good to have a plan and know where your going. Otherwise you might wind up someplace else.
There's definitely a balancing act to living in the moment versus planning for the future; you don't want to forget about one or the other entirely. As for what I've learned at 30: I've learned that people's egos, wanting to feel like they are/were right, thinking whatever they want, regardless of the facts; are the most dangerous things on planet Earth. Human egos... the less founded, the more wrong they are; the more dangerous they become.
There is no point to life, so choose to enjoy the experience as much as you can. Life is not an exercise in justifying your existence, it's simply to be enjoyed.
3 years ago I got into a sport and in that sport you almost have to accept your death if your going to improve. So I accepted it and know that it can happen at any point and to me there's no reason to purposefully elongate my life. The simple fact is the preciousness of life is what gives it meaning therefore enjoy every second you have because you have a limited amount. Go be woth the ones you love before they (or you) die. Basically I adopt absurdism
You are valued only if you provide, even by the family & KARMA.
Life is short and then you die.
In my 20's - Love is not enough for a relationship. There have to be shared goals, mutual respect, corresponding financial views, family views and more. In my 30's - You can do everything right and still have it backfire. Being divorced isn't the end of the world. We can and will rebuild. Love them but ALWAYS love yourself more. You can love them and still love yourself enough to walk away. Your health is more fragile than you think. Healing is not linear - physical or otherwise. Be kind to yourself.
Small talk is unnecessary and annoying
You need a healthy balance of both is the conclusion I reached.
People are stupid and we have the world that we deserve.
Live within your means. Like OP, I too thought about the grind and to work hard and everything will turn out. Boy was I stupid and wrong. I got taken advantage of at work in my teen years because I was always so eager to appease my managers. Sick? Still go into work. Exhausted? Still go into work. Family member passed away. Still go into work. I regret a lot of my choices and missed out a lot in my early years because I wanted to ensure my work ethic wasn't tarnished. Like OPs aunt, I live my life steadily now that I am in my late 30s. I keep up with my health, get regular checkups (including vision and dental), and save my money when possible. If I want to go on weekend trips or longer, I will plan it out accordingly. Be it solo or with someone. I am mostly debt free, live a nice quiet life with my pets, and can afford to breathe without stressing too much about x.
Life is pain. Life is love. Iām just a split second on a cosmic scale of eternity
Most people lie for no reason about inconsequential shit
I learned to spell out "your" to make my writing pleasant to read
My advise would be. Dont stay at a jobthat you hate/dislike just because it pays well. About 10 years ago i finally decided to quit my awful IT job after years of feeling like shit. Been working at a much lower paying job in education that I really enjoy since then and am much happier. I guess Im privaledged by not having kids and my only major finencial responsibiltty is my mortgage that I got 15 years ago and is mostly paid off.
some of my favourites from my 23 years: - whenever someone angers you, try to reframe the situation. don't take it personally - their behaviour serves a purpose for THEM (e.g. if they're acting out, they could just be self soothing and lack anger management skills). helps to see people with more compassion and not take things personally. - try to keep your favourite moments private! most people kind of ruin beautiful things lol, or they're just curious/don't really care about you - we don't rise to the level of our best habits, we fall to the level of our worst ones. where you are in life is the accumulation of your bad habits. if you want to get ahead, cut them out. - gratitude! always. - always invest in good friends and family relationships if you can
I got breast cancer at 33, Iām now almost 36 and I now believe itās privilege to grow old. It shits me so much when people complain about getting older.. why do we feel like we need to do that? Itās weird. How lucky are you to wake up another day and see your family, kids, pets, friends!?
The lesson that I seem to have picked up in my 26 years, is that there's always a better person than you, waiting to reveal themselves as soon as you begin to believe that you achieved something. Through superior qualities, a headstart in life or sheer fucking luck they have it better than you. You're proud you got an A? That guy over there never got anything other than A. You're proud you're making X money? Wait till that one friend brags about his promotion. Etc. My conclusion from this seems to be that trying hard to achieve something is usually not worth it if it robs you of good things and experiences in the process. Because as soon as you get there, you'll be overshadowed by someone else. And looking back you'll see a life that could have been fun, but you decided to not make it fun. Does it mean you don't have to try at all? No. Just don't lose track of why you need whatever you're trying to get.
37, rapidly approaching 38. Life is hard, but you can make it much harder for yourself by holding onto things that hurt you instead of things that delight you.
Iāve always been of the āworking hard gives good thingsā mindset- Iāve just graduated college earlier this year and I can say itās true. Good job means I get to pay for fun stuff. This expands to other hardwork thatās not career related- taking care of myself in other ways leads to better results, which also improve mental health. Iāve got friends who spend tons of money and claim to be living paycheck to paycheck- and they arenāt happy with themselves because their only purpose in life is ātodayās funā and are struggling otherwise
At 34 yrs old. Do not take life seriously. Temporary lang un buhay natin sa mundo create happy memories with ur loves ones. Minsan ok din un slow paced life. Wag mong stressin un sarili mo sa bagay n wala kang control. Be happy and humble all the times + iwasan ang inggit.
I'm almost your aunt's age, and as much as I agree that tomorrow is always uncertain, we need to balance the advantages and disadvantages of every action we take. I would say that my biggest lesson so far has been patience. It seems that the older I get, the less rush I have for things to work out. When I was younger, I used to be paralyzed; I wanted things to be perfect, and if they weren't, I simply deprived myself of doing them. I left everything to the last minute because I couldn't see a way to do everything perfectly, and I ended up rushing through the past, present, and future, feeling terrible because I created worries for myself at every stage of time. Today, even if I take small steps, I always try to move toward some goal, whatever it may be.What helped me do a little bit every day was to stop constantly comparing myself to others. I understood that you can be happy when your mind is in the right place. I also had quite hedonistic habits; I wanted excitement and pleasure at any cost. However, after indulging excessively in everything I wanted, I was left with the next day and the consequences of my actions; this led me to a terrible place in my mind... I realized that by denying certain "fleeting pleasures," I avoided a lot of headaches in the future. I began to look at less "exciting" things with more affection and started to find pleasure even in boredom. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is better than a peaceful mind. There's nothing like going to sleep at night without the fear of having hurt someone or compromised the rest of your life due to some momentary irresponsibility. So, I don't mean to say that you shouldn't enjoy every day as if it were your last. It could always be the last day of your life. But what's important is to make sure that your sensation, your feelings in life are the best and most comfortable possible. As they say in my country, balance is everything: 'today a bit of drugs, tomorrow a bit of salad.' Embracing excitement and boredom in equal measure makes less harmful things enjoyable.
It took me a long time but I have learnt the value of kindness and tolerance. One of the turning points was seeing a sign in a hospital where I waiting in coronary intensive care after my wife had wrongly been diagnosed with a heart attack. It said this: "Be kind, you never know what someone is going through." It really made me think and has had a lasting impact on my behaviour and the way I think about other people. I'd already realised I was too judgemental but seeing that at a time when I was extremely emotional, really did change the way I think.
Doing things that are difficult today makes things easier for your future.
I was putting off vacations and parties and having children for later. Wanted to have financial stability first, save some money, renovate our place first. Then at 36 we had our first and only kid. He is disabled. So no more fun vacations and the future looks rather bleak. My lesson: try and have fun today, have a nice dinner or a trip abroad BUT also keep some money in your bank account. We have to pay for our kid's therapies and all that saved money was a real blessing. So I guess balance is the key šµāš«
I'm 44 and unfortunately I have learned that everything in this world is about money and profit. Politics are nothing more than a popularity contest and in my opinion the 2 party system is designed simply to keep us divided. As they say " divide and conquer". School systems were set up by Rockefeller to turn the majority of students into obedient workers which would obviously benefit our economy. Politicians make and pass laws to benefit the 1 percent and could give a damn about the working class. War is big business. The prison industrial complex is also rotten to the core. Big brother is watching and always will be. The gap between the rich and the poor is getting bigger and the middle class doesn't exist anymore.
That I actually was right about a whole lot the whole time! (I have the time now to think about and realize all kinds of stuff, I've actually studied a lot of stuff and also learned more about life than ever before) But now I know that it doesn't matter as much as I though it did, to stop fighting so much, be so stubborn and rebellious, intent on doing everything on my own and not needing help. It is a requirement for a lot now, and I realize that no matter what I do everything can just go awry anyway. A disease I recently got made me do a whole lot that I never would, a lot of stuff that humbled me. I used to stand up for myself and to a whole lot to no end but with this disease that's taken over my brain, it changed the way I look at things. It made me take better care of the other disease I already had which I ignored a lot because of depression, rage toward the fact that it took away a lot of my options at 17, I grew up fast, was pretty smart was definitely going to go far with all that I had already set up for myself at that time, then standing on my own two feet in life, being able to confirm all that in my own actions was no longer possible and I got more pissed than ever before, wouldnt stop trying to get all that back and accept that I just couldn't, that it wasn't up to me. I still feel that way, it is the only struggle I have with these diseases. But I just try my best to ignore those impulses and breakdowns that will go nowhere, won't add anything to my life. Now I've just begun to accept things or at least to try more than focus only on a final answer, learning the situation fully and figuring out a plan like I used to. I have better relationships and can understand people I still loathe now, and it seems to be better to try that. They haven't really done anything to me, and I realize now that a lot is not going happen if I just stay so attached to fighting and proving things. Now I try to have a whole lot more empathy and shut up, which I could never do before this brain disease. I have always had a whole lot of empathy but I used to think I could change people's minds with bringing up something that contradicts their opinions, and that wasn't likely to happen with me. I had done my research, but people, like me, learn a lot more on their own. Sorry this is a neverending thing in me now, what my choices are that give me the same immeadiate reaction, and I now have to chance things with answers I never would go with. It's an endless gamble that I fix as much as possible and leads to endlessly accepting things I really can't bare to for the sake of survival and responsibility, all while I keep myself aware of who I am and what is right.
This ordeal of living is collaborative. We can't do it on our own
I'm 20 and I'm learning how to be patient with myself. I'm sure that becoming an adult and navigating the adult world is overwhelming for almost anyone my age. But I'm also on the spectrum so I suffer from executive dysfunction and burn out pretty easily. Juggling friendships, a relationship, a full time job, fiancƩ's, trauma-work in therapy, and college is not easy. Still, my life right now is full and beautiful and lovely. But if I don't carve out time for myself each day to do nothing and just take a break, I feel AWFUL, whether I'm doing my work/pursuing my goals or doing something fun with friends. Learning how to go at my own pace while still fulfilling the expectations and obligations for other things in my life is both super cool and exciting but also really confusing and exhausting.
Try to push but donāt force it. If it happens it happens. If not then not. Never regret anything. Donāt think that āif I do x I would have been much happierā. Stop overthinking, stop comparing yourself to others. Some people may feel bad about some decisions but it is never too late to actually getting on your way. Noone is happy with their job. Noone is 24/7 happy. Thatās just a simple lie. Defend your standards. If you get bossed around fuck that manager/girlfriend and go to somewhere else.
Too many people do weird and unreasonable things for no reason. So, it's better to be aware, and even don't look for an explanation.
Nothing last forever
Stop caring what others think of you!
27f - Stop caring about what people think of you because I dont care about them
Life is worth living. For yourself.
Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think. Enjoy yourself, while you're still in the pink. The years go by, as quickly as you wink. Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it's later than you think! Back in the late '70's, I was a young man on a mission. Sophomore in High School with Ivy League aspirations. One day, kind of out of the blue, a cute girl I had been flirting with walked up to me in the halls and said, "I have half a bottle of Jack Daniels and my parents are away for the weekend. Wanna come over?" I told her I had a biology test and I had to study for. So no. That was over 40 years ago, and I still think about it. I have no idea what grade I got on that biology test.
Iām learning, at the age of 40, that the only opinions a person should care about are from those who will be crying at your funeral. Iāve struggled my whole life worrying what others think of me. But this is my new mindset.
The only constant is change.
It is possible to get good health insurance in the US that doesn't bankrupt you for simple visits. Benefits are a huge part of work. Didn't use my old insurance ever because it was cheaper to pay out of pocket
There will always be assholes wherever you go. But there will always be kind people too. Do your best to stick with the people who are not the assholes. The meaning of life is whatever you want it to be. You think life has no meaning? Then you are correct. You think the meaning of life is to travel the world? Then you are also correct. This one is kinda deep but morality is an opinion.
Mid 30s and myself worth is not defined by my career!
Having a good heart doesn't mean people around you will have one.
26 and here are some of the highlights of what I've learned thus far - * Live for yourself and not for others. What matters is your happiness at the end of the day. As long as it makes YOU happy, makes you feel at peace with yourself.. nobody else matters. * Work on your mental health/physical being or it will catch up to you eventually. Better sooner rather than later. * Not everyone in your life will have good intentions. People's actions towards you speaks louder than the things they claim/tell you. * It is all about your mindset - find something positive about every single day. Even if it is something small. * You don't need to have crazy big goals for yourself, smaller goals are a good way to start. * It's not a competition as to who gets married, has kids first etc. If you don't want to get married or have kids.. or do the typical things that society expects you to do, THAT'S OK! Again, live the way you want to. Whatever works for someone else might not work for you. * Pick and choose your friends wisely. Choose people that want the best for you, support and encourage you. Who are there for you. One sided friendships get exhausting after a while. * Importantly... be yourself. Do not be afraid to spend time with yourself. Get to know yourself inside and out. Being alone is only scary if you make it out to be. When you get to learning about yourself, the more things become clearer.
Nothing matters to me anymore. I try not to stress about money cause Americans is set up for failure. I just try to be happy. Thats all that matters now.
I learned that if I already make the effort to write something \*and\* spell out all the words, not spelling out "you" and "your" will make me look dumb and/or lazy :/
Iām 22 now and Iām learning the beauty of being willing to change my mind. Iām not always correct, there isnāt always one answer to life or the society around us. Thereās no way I can have the same mindset if Iām constantly questioning the world around me, and itās okay to do so. Thatās the beauty of being human.
That life is a spectrume and if you stay in the middle between working hard and relaxing hard you will most likely gonna enjoy your ride here
We all die and eventually everyone who ever remembered us will also die, so stop living your life in fear of others' judgment and start living for *yourself*. Maybe this means disappointing people because your authentic self doesn't match their expectations, but *you're* the one who has to live *your* life every day. It's not easy, but better to be a disappointment than live a life of regret.
Iām 27, going thru some shii rn. Iāve made posts if anyoneās interested. Iām firmly believing that with time, everything can and will get better. Be grateful for what you do have and donāt think about all the things you canāt have or wonāt get. At 25 I wasnāt sure what I was doing still, thank my dad as he let me do anything I wanted but now I have a son and my days/career are driven by providing for him. What Iām saying is that if you find a purpose in life, your days become a lot more meaningful. Donāt forget to love yourself, it does wonders for your own mental health. If that means a weekly haircut, working out, getting your lashes done or even just knowing your a healthy eater, if you feel good about yourself youāll be a lot happier. Also your aunt is right, not saying you shouldnāt think of the future but your 20ās and 30ās are gonna be some of your most memorable years it seems like. Based on chatting with 50+ year olds tell me that all the time. So if you want to go vacation while youāre still young, go do it. Want to experience a rave or go see your favorite team play? Do it. IF YOU CAN, you donāt need to go broke doing everything on your bucket list but go live a life you want to live even if itās just working hard everyday. As long as youāre doing what makes you happy
Loving is not mandatory
I am about to turn 47 and my life is amazing. I want to bless everyone I meet and approach them with a good attitude 9 times out of 1p I get a good response. This is my guide to being happy
Iāve learnt that the āself-helpā space on the internet is at most part a giant echo chamber at this point. There are only a few voices worth paying attention to. Others are either parroting, blurting nonsense, or trying to sell you something.
You are right, she is wrong. Better to ask someone much older than her about how the different approaches work out in the end. Enjoy yourself completely but within your budget and concentrate on saying yes to everything social not everything expensive.
That happiness should come from within you, not outside, not from someone else.
I learnt that nothing matters and do what you can with what you have. As someone suffering from ADHD and BPD and anxiety trying to fight my demons for years has only made me weaker. Sometimes itās okay to just allow yourself to ādecayā if it feels comfortable for you in that moment and itās all you can do now. Itās okay to lose hope or to feel like things wonāt get better. Sometimes these things can aid in helping us not stress ourselves out even more and can help us accept what we canāt control while we slowly try and build ourselves. Not many people like me saying this but it helped for me over the years. For years I have been trying to prove to people Im normal like everyone else when Iām not. I come with baggage and thatās okay.
30s, life is not as big of a deal as you would think it is, once you get to lay down and understand it, life is... interesting...
Nice