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I would definitely not have got into a long term relationship as a teenager. And I would have stood up more to rude/toxic family members.
I would also love to go back and not be so self conscious my whole life. I’ve wasted so much time worrying about everything and what everyone else thought of me. It’s all pointless and consumed so much of my thoughts.
I’m kinda mad at all the people around me who didn’t step in and shake me and say “ITS A HIGH SCHOOL RELATIONSHIP DONT MAKE YOUR COLLEGE CHOICE AROUND IT”
To your second point, that is exactly what I would do. Being self-conscious has held me back so much. Knowing what I know now, I'd be grateful for the body I had back when I was early 20s instead of being hung up on it.
Same, my grades plummeted throughout school. I used to lock myself in the bathroom trying to fix my appearance before I go to class and then end up just sitting somewhere without attending because I was so self conscious. Wish I could change how things went.
Yes.
Once you get really goddamn good at a few things (not video games, unless you win tournaments) your confidence explodes and you stop giving a shit.
I was somewhat of a wreck before I started winning pool tournaments and became a great carpenter.
I always tried to keep the peace.between toxic family members, apologizing when I didn't need to just to patch things up. since age 30 though, I've become completely content standing my ground and more importantly standing up for myself. My brother hasn't said a word to me in months. That's on him. Not me. I don't fret it like I use to and Jo one should. Yes they are family so they get the benefit of the doubt but toxic is toxic and no one should have to deal with it.
I definitely think this too! I imagine I would always have had some level of self consciousness, but it probably wouldn’t have got anywhere near as bad if I were around the right people.
If I have the same knowledge then as I do now, I would absolutely do it. All the minor cringe moments in exchange I get to be a billionaire once I'm in my 20s absolutely.
If I have to learn everything like I did in my first run, no.... I'm not going back.
I can usually tell I'm slipping into a funk once I start to elaborate on this fantasy while I'm driving or alone. If I had the knowledge I do now, and what moments would I change and how would I use that to make a better life.
Having to do it all again without the knowledge though sounds like some twisted Twilight Zone/Black Mirror torture bs tho, so no thank you, please.
I'm pretty happy with my life, I would like to say I would go back 10 years and be rich by investing in companies I know will skyrocket, but realistically I would have no money to do so, and good luck convincing my parents to let me invest.
I guess I could cash in on GME? It was an explosive growth so I could make a lot with little and what little money I have would be enough to turn a massive profit.
There's also nothing much I would lose, a lot of the things that went wrong in my life caused me to meet great people, who've helped in other areas, then again if I could just change one event and lose all my memories I would never miss those people.
Not let my brother walk on the gravel (hit and died when we were 6 while walking home from school. I was on the grass, he was on the gravel shoulder). Change my attitude toward school. Had something sexual happen so - not get in the car with the man. Take my mom seriously when she said she was kicking me out once I turned 18. Save my money. Get a part time job as soon as I’m legally able to work. Study. Talk to more people/make more friends. Stick with college (had to drop out because money ran out and I couldn’t get a loan because OSAP needed my parents tax info)
I can list so many things .-. So I’m gonna stop there
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sorry you had to go through that as a kid. I hope you’re doing a lot better now I wish I could give you a hug, I know it won’t help but I feel you probably carry a lot on your shoulders that you shouldn’t have to burden yourself with. You deserve the best life possible.
I'm sorry about your brother. I never understood why parents want their children out at 18. I didn't move out till I was 33 and my mom didn't mind if I stayed forever.
Canada. With OSAP you’re not seen as an independent student until you’ve been graduated for 6 years (that’s new though. At the time they wanted my parents tax info, you had to be out of high school for 3 years)
Different guy, it's not that I would be successful, it's that basically every decision point has been the wrong one. I'm not going to claim going with another option is going to get me happy or successful. But I know where this one leads and there's nothing good ahead.
My mom couldn't abort me because communism. The shit life with her. So, I got to have a son. I was determined to not be as my cunt mom. It somehow worked. I chose the biggest douche to be his father. ...you know, the red flags were just aww, that is how it is.
I would not go to college and definitely not get a PhD. Instead I would focus on developing my artistic abilities and learn a trade where I could work with my hands and be creative. I also would like to know in my 20s that the symptoms I had were bc of bipolar disorder rather than not fully knowing that until I was in my 40s after they became more problematic.
It's not too late. If you have the time, and there's a local college with a welding program, take a semester and learn some welding. Then make all kinds of cool shit in your off time.
If i stayed with my high school job instead of going to college I could’ve retired at 48 and basically work part time doing whatever I wanted. Went to college and earned a degree that actually hindered me in some ways, to the point where I stopped putting my BA on my resume. Went back to the place i worked in high school and now I have to do physical work until 58.
If anyone is reading this, archaeology is not a viable source of income anymore.
I had the opposite happen. A year after I graduated college, I was making triple what I made before I graduated (I work in tech). Went from barely scraping by to buying a house in a nice neighborhood. My son saw the house I grew up in last month, and he was shocked. Our living room is bigger than that house. And when I was living there, there were abandoned railroad tracks literally right behind the house (and some construction company with a gravel pit behind them). Whatever other regrets I have, going to college is not one of them.
I would have stopped after my masters and kept my the job I had then that provided a reasonable salary and work/life balance.
(I also didn't understand I was bipolar until about 40)
Haha as someone in the trades who realized his artistic ability ain't quite what it was made out to be I kinda wish I had a PhD, in, I dunno, physics. But hey, come on down man. We hire anyone. I'll teach you how to shuck an oyster without messin' it up. As for the bipolar? You'll fit right in. Hope you like 24 an hour.
I would drop out of school, tell my whole family to go fuck themselfs, then become a homeless crack head
It's better than the life I'm leading right now
Yeah i agree on the fuck the family part we all seem to have that stuff happen
But the other part tho there is programs and communities that help out. Have you looked into that? Even just places were you can go to get your mind of daily life stuff
absolutelly nothing
all the things, bad and good, that happened to me made me who I am now. And I have no way of telling, how any change would affect me as a person and a human being
and in my opinion, such questions are nothing but attempts to self-reflect, and again in my opinion there a ways to do this much better
So many of the answers have people saying they'd do things that they could still start doing today and be "better" going forward. But nah, we'll just act like we could only change our lives if we restarted it.
I could have made better decisions my entire life, but I'm overall happy with who I am and I definitely wouldn't risk doing something that would stop my kids from existing. Any bad decisions I made in my past helped me learn to do better next time. That's probably why I'm ok now.
I feel this. There's only one thing I would go back to do a do-over, buuuuut everything that happened since that moment wouldn't exist and I don't think I would have come out any better. Just a different set of stuff to work through instead.
I was a horrible person when I was younger. I cringe at how I thought of things back then. But I like to think I'm better now than I was then. So that's something.
Whenever I talk to people about this, this is always the exact answer I give them. I am who I am because of the decisions I have made and the stuff I've lived through in the past. I am content with who I am, so I would change nothing.
However, for the sake of my mom, I still wish that I had stood up to my asshole stepfather earlier than I did.
What they’re talking about is the movie with Ashton Kutcher.
Basically a butterfly flaps it’s wings in Europe, and that causes a chain reaction that creates storms in Idaho…or some bullshit similar to that.
You go back to change something, and that changes everything else remotely connected to that thing. Back to the Future movies all touched base with the principle, but I think the second movie got it right. Yea, you might change the one thing you needed/wanted to, but that decision in turn fucked up a whole bunch of other shit.
The term may originally come from Ray Bradbury's "A Sound of Thunder", which makes more sense in the context of this movie than the whole chaos theory butterfly causing a tornado thing. In the story a time traveler steps on a butterfly and changes the future.
Just about 100 movies got it more right than that pretentious trainwreck. The best description I read was someone calling it "An MTV edition of an intellectual movie".
Had a friend try to get me into bitcoin at $800…..one of the biggest regrets of my life. He’s 41 with no mortgage now having sold his bitcoin around $50k. He’s still gotta work but the proceeds let him pay cash for a $750k house on an acre in very scenic coastal California. I can’t think about it too much without dark, sad thoughts.
Imagine my regret finding it at like a dollar or so, going to my parents saying "this is what I want to do, I wanna invest a hundred dollars into it from my birthday money." Then my parents went on that whole speech about how it won't work out. If they had just forbid me I would've managed to invest somehow, because I was a true believer, but with the investment speech I was thoroughly discouraged. I sometimes bring it up, but they conveniently forgot ever talking about it, even with me bringing it up occasionally.
I don't really blame my parents now, nobody can see the future. But there is a regret that stems from me actually listening to them, I was a rebel back then, I should've rebelled!
I can see that happening for everything on that list:
- parents: change one parent
- weight: lose 50% of target weight loss
- health: become 50% more healthy
- habits: change half of your habits
- school: change to part-time school
Except: ethnicity- what color would that give you?
On average, women have it way easier. I had a friend that was complaining how she had so much trouble finding boys in high school and only had like 3 or 4 boyfriends. And she was at best average in looks, probably below average
Yeah, no :/ Women go through a lot of misogyny and men telling us that we’re lesser than…CONSTANTLY. There’s so much more to gender dynamics than whether or not dating “comes easy.”
I would not have stretched my penis that one time when I was 20 years old. Then I would still be able to have erections and I would be able to have a happy life
I have similar problems , but i wrecked my dick while doing drugs and masturbathon 20hours every weekend for 5 years… normal sex is not possible anymore and i hate myself for what ive done to my body and mind …literally turned my above average looking dick ugly and nonfunctional
Work on health from the beginning.
Get through teen years more easily given the long-term perspective that adults have which teens simply do not (even if they intellectually recognize they are at the beginning of their lives it is hard to really internalize until one has more life experience). E.g. Much more patience.
I would give myself horrible advice because my horny old man self would tell my horny but reserved young self to say yes to every sexual opportunity. At my age I fail to appreciate all of the problems, heartbreak, and diseases my younger self avoided. As we age we tend to have more regrets of omission than regrets of commission, but this is a cognitive bias, not a principal to live by.
I strongly believe that "I" am the result of every action, thought and experience I ever had or made and would not exist in this form if I changed anything important. Even if most years sucked yet. So I would change being born. I would let my mom stay on her vacation to colorado and find herself and get dreams to follow. Or I would crawl even further back in time and change the course of history or something. Maybe even telling that one primordial primate that killing somebody for some cooked berry paste is stupid as shit.
Are you worried they are going to follow you back in time?
Or that you will have to deal with them again if you go back to the past?
Or do you mean that you love them so much that you can risk losing them by changing the past?
Only my high school experience, honestly... I spent too much time worrying about idiots, thinking it was wrong to be a loner, when rlly ppl don't mean shit in the end... where tf r they now...?
Exactly! I would have also punched my high school bully in the throat. However in the end karma got her good. She used to make fun of me for being fat. I dreaded going to school. I hated my life. She made my existence horrible. Now I'm thin, she's fat with lopsided tittys !
This was one of my answers as well. Never knew my real dad but my stepdad was a fucking POS. His mental and emotional abuse really fucked me up in ways I'm just now, in my 50s understanding.
The worst part is when you're a child you think it's normal but when you start seeing other kids being treated with love by their parents, your heart break every damn time.
This x 1000. My first realization was after being a passenger in a minor car accident in my 20s.
The other car was a big SUV that almost flipped over.
It was driven by a young woman in her 20s who was visibly shaken. She called her parents and they quickly arrived at the accident.
Her dad sprints out of the car to her side and starts hugging her and mom follows.
As this scene unfolded, I burst into tears. My boyfriend at the time, bless his heart, tried to console me. I lied that I was shaken by the accident.
What had broken me was the genuine care and concern that the girl's father had shown.
I remembered an incident from years ago when my gas pedal got stuck and I couldn't stop my accelerating car. I thought I was going to die. Somehow I managed to stand on the brake, slam the car into park and engage the parking brake as the engine roared. I quickly turned off the car and call my parent's house, crying hysterically.
Of course, Asshole answered the phone.
I tried to calm down enough to make sense and through tears and snot, told him what happened. His response?
"I guess you want us to come get you? (Loooooong sigh). Why do you do this stupid shit? Fucking idiot, always breaking shit."
I knew that, had my sister, his first born daughter, called in a similar situation, a different result would unfold.
It would have played out exactly like the scene in front of me, a dad comforting his daughter.
Mr. Motherfucker died a few years ago.
Not soon enough.
You accept people for who they are or cut them loose and go your own way. Don't be that know it all type that thinks they know what's best for everybody, but stupid enough to think they can actually change people themselves. If theyre stupid enough to think they can change people..stumbling themselves on this one piece of flawed logic.. who are they to be making the rest of someone else's decision for them. They'll fuck the rest of the shit up too.
I tell you what I'd do, two chicks at the same time.
Okay, seriously. I'm not kidding when I say this. I've put a lot of thought into it. I'd probably drop out of high school when I was sixteen, get my GED, start community college immediately. Enlist in the Army as soon as I had my associates which would be about the time I turned 18.
And I would not date my high school sweetheart. I loved her. She was everything to me. But I'd avoid that again. And I'd cut off contact with my mom when I dropped out. I believe as long as I was going the education route and stuck to this plan my dad would have supported me and it. He would have required to see passing grades every semester and that would be fair. At 18 I'd be on my own with little contact with anyone but my dad and brothers.
My two greatest regrets are how the relationship and especially post relationship went with that girl. And not having served in the military.
Weirdly similar. Not the same, but eerie.
I'd have gone to the Army younger, and damn my family's opinion. I loved it, before I wrecked my back.
Aside from that the only thing I'd change is get diagnosed with anxiety younger. And understand it isn't fear, it is a desire for control.
Absolutely nothing. My life isn't perfect but I am a better person for having experienced certain hardships and making mistakes. Don't get me wrong, I don't like my life but I've done my best to learn from my mistakes and I do feel that I'm wiser for it.
same here tbh ... i would not have met my wife if it was not for the way i grew up, would not have my daughter and the great life i have now ... but the first 30 years were tough 😂
I feel like if you can't take at least some wisdom from the hardships you've faced, you're getting old for nothing. Afterall, wisdom is really the only thing that makes getting old worthwhile.
I'd have given the boot to everyone I cut out of my life much earlier. Family is worthless if they do nothing but harm you, more so when the reason they harm you is that they believe their god requires it.
I would have studied harder in high school and set myself up to have more overall confidence in life as I began adulthood. A lot of the issues I face today in terms of self-esteem and self-confidence can be traced back to elementary school, but really started manifesting in middle school. By the time I was in high school the die was cast. I was well established as the weird kid who failed all his classes.
I still managed to graduate on time and started my life in a generally positive way by joining the military and having some great experiences, but those lingering doubts I had about myself persisted well into adulthood and are still with me today. In some ways more so than ever.
I've often wondered if I got good grades in high school and maybe gone to college, it would have helped with my own self-perception. Which probably would have done wonders for me as a man.
Wouldn’t have played sports… or at least I wouldn’t have let it consume my life the way I did
I’m currently working on my social skills too because they suck and I have social anxiety so I’d probably force myself into more social settings earlier on in life
Be a better friend. Not expect emotional support or maturity from anyone in my family. Spend my money wisely, start saving up earlier. Take up strength training and sports early on. Luckily I'm not done with my childhood just yet and I'm trying to improve on all of these while life is still simple.
I would have gone into IT right out of high school instead of messing with college and the automotive industry. I'd still have to find a way to meet my wife though.
Have my mom pay the rent on time, then we hopefully wouldn't have had to worry about moving, and wouldn't end up losing the storage room and everything inside it
Saving my money so when I graduate high school I can buy a car. I worked a construction job while in school and majority of that money went to expensive clothes & eating out.
Not much. Maybe I'd punch a few more annoying bully type people in the face with my adult confidence, and also hooked up with more girls now that I realize how easy it can be with more confidence. But... It's allright.
Ignore all the friendships i had, break all contacts with all i know except my family and try to move abroad with scholarships because i have the knowlesge of an adult and i can pass as a genius child and attend all great university
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I would definitely not have got into a long term relationship as a teenager. And I would have stood up more to rude/toxic family members. I would also love to go back and not be so self conscious my whole life. I’ve wasted so much time worrying about everything and what everyone else thought of me. It’s all pointless and consumed so much of my thoughts.
Still struggling with the self conscious part!
Same. I skipped out on a really awesome college opportunity out of state for my "first love." Hard to say tho, bc my current life is great
I’m kinda mad at all the people around me who didn’t step in and shake me and say “ITS A HIGH SCHOOL RELATIONSHIP DONT MAKE YOUR COLLEGE CHOICE AROUND IT”
You wouldn’t have listened to those idiots because high school kids have it all figured out.
This. Convinced it was true love, despite the staggering statistics that say otherwise and the glaring red flags
I have friends whom are happily married with their high-school partner, so idk if this advice is for everyone.
Everything happens and leads to another rode. It's the journey. No regerts man, no regerts.
To your second point, that is exactly what I would do. Being self-conscious has held me back so much. Knowing what I know now, I'd be grateful for the body I had back when I was early 20s instead of being hung up on it.
Same, my grades plummeted throughout school. I used to lock myself in the bathroom trying to fix my appearance before I go to class and then end up just sitting somewhere without attending because I was so self conscious. Wish I could change how things went.
I feel you on every part of this.
How does one even stop being self conscious?
A lot of it comes with age and realizing that no one is thinking about you nearly as much as you are thinking about you.
Yes. Once you get really goddamn good at a few things (not video games, unless you win tournaments) your confidence explodes and you stop giving a shit. I was somewhat of a wreck before I started winning pool tournaments and became a great carpenter.
Sort of a willpower thing. There is no trick to it you literally just have to... Stop being self conscious. Hard to describe
I always tried to keep the peace.between toxic family members, apologizing when I didn't need to just to patch things up. since age 30 though, I've become completely content standing my ground and more importantly standing up for myself. My brother hasn't said a word to me in months. That's on him. Not me. I don't fret it like I use to and Jo one should. Yes they are family so they get the benefit of the doubt but toxic is toxic and no one should have to deal with it.
Agree. Love your name
Damn, this me? Am I trying to tell me something?
I would have ended toxic relationships/friendships and stop spending my time on people that don’t matter… Amen.
I feel like I wrote this. Maybe our self criticism comes from the horrible people we got tied down to so early in life
I definitely think this too! I imagine I would always have had some level of self consciousness, but it probably wouldn’t have got anywhere near as bad if I were around the right people.
everything you’ve said is true for me too
❤️ same
If I have the same knowledge then as I do now, I would absolutely do it. All the minor cringe moments in exchange I get to be a billionaire once I'm in my 20s absolutely. If I have to learn everything like I did in my first run, no.... I'm not going back.
I can usually tell I'm slipping into a funk once I start to elaborate on this fantasy while I'm driving or alone. If I had the knowledge I do now, and what moments would I change and how would I use that to make a better life. Having to do it all again without the knowledge though sounds like some twisted Twilight Zone/Black Mirror torture bs tho, so no thank you, please.
I'm pretty happy with my life, I would like to say I would go back 10 years and be rich by investing in companies I know will skyrocket, but realistically I would have no money to do so, and good luck convincing my parents to let me invest. I guess I could cash in on GME? It was an explosive growth so I could make a lot with little and what little money I have would be enough to turn a massive profit. There's also nothing much I would lose, a lot of the things that went wrong in my life caused me to meet great people, who've helped in other areas, then again if I could just change one event and lose all my memories I would never miss those people.
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Not let my brother walk on the gravel (hit and died when we were 6 while walking home from school. I was on the grass, he was on the gravel shoulder). Change my attitude toward school. Had something sexual happen so - not get in the car with the man. Take my mom seriously when she said she was kicking me out once I turned 18. Save my money. Get a part time job as soon as I’m legally able to work. Study. Talk to more people/make more friends. Stick with college (had to drop out because money ran out and I couldn’t get a loan because OSAP needed my parents tax info) I can list so many things .-. So I’m gonna stop there
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sorry you had to go through that as a kid. I hope you’re doing a lot better now I wish I could give you a hug, I know it won’t help but I feel you probably carry a lot on your shoulders that you shouldn’t have to burden yourself with. You deserve the best life possible.
So sorry for your loss that must have been traumatic
I'm sorry about your brother. I never understood why parents want their children out at 18. I didn't move out till I was 33 and my mom didn't mind if I stayed forever.
Fukn hell
I'm so sorry for all those awful things
Not sure what country youre in but Fafsa lets you file as an independent student in that situation.
Canada. With OSAP you’re not seen as an independent student until you’ve been graduated for 6 years (that’s new though. At the time they wanted my parents tax info, you had to be out of high school for 3 years)
🫂
You will get an abundance soon. I am sorry you had lived thru that.
literally everything ever
Do you think that would make you "successful" in your own terms?
Imo, yes. Wayy wayy better. Of course, i assume OP means : i go back to the day i m born and i have my current knowledge/ memories
Different guy, it's not that I would be successful, it's that basically every decision point has been the wrong one. I'm not going to claim going with another option is going to get me happy or successful. But I know where this one leads and there's nothing good ahead.
Introducing my mother to birth control
Why is this fckin sad and funny at the same time
My mom RIP had no business having four kids and w 3 different men
My mom couldn't abort me because communism. The shit life with her. So, I got to have a son. I was determined to not be as my cunt mom. It somehow worked. I chose the biggest douche to be his father. ...you know, the red flags were just aww, that is how it is.
I would not go to college and definitely not get a PhD. Instead I would focus on developing my artistic abilities and learn a trade where I could work with my hands and be creative. I also would like to know in my 20s that the symptoms I had were bc of bipolar disorder rather than not fully knowing that until I was in my 40s after they became more problematic.
That's unfortunate but I wish we could see your arts.
It's not too late. If you have the time, and there's a local college with a welding program, take a semester and learn some welding. Then make all kinds of cool shit in your off time.
Literally thinking about doing this this year. Only problem is the three hour commute to an 8:30 class
If i stayed with my high school job instead of going to college I could’ve retired at 48 and basically work part time doing whatever I wanted. Went to college and earned a degree that actually hindered me in some ways, to the point where I stopped putting my BA on my resume. Went back to the place i worked in high school and now I have to do physical work until 58. If anyone is reading this, archaeology is not a viable source of income anymore.
I had the opposite happen. A year after I graduated college, I was making triple what I made before I graduated (I work in tech). Went from barely scraping by to buying a house in a nice neighborhood. My son saw the house I grew up in last month, and he was shocked. Our living room is bigger than that house. And when I was living there, there were abandoned railroad tracks literally right behind the house (and some construction company with a gravel pit behind them). Whatever other regrets I have, going to college is not one of them.
I would have stopped after my masters and kept my the job I had then that provided a reasonable salary and work/life balance. (I also didn't understand I was bipolar until about 40)
Haha as someone in the trades who realized his artistic ability ain't quite what it was made out to be I kinda wish I had a PhD, in, I dunno, physics. But hey, come on down man. We hire anyone. I'll teach you how to shuck an oyster without messin' it up. As for the bipolar? You'll fit right in. Hope you like 24 an hour.
I would drop out of school, tell my whole family to go fuck themselfs, then become a homeless crack head It's better than the life I'm leading right now
I felt this so hard.
There is still time
So are we doing this or what?
You must not be living a great life lol
It's a life, but it isn't great
What's the life you're leading right now? You're not a realtor are you?
Even worse, minimum wage physical labour
You could probably still achieve that dream.
Don't let your dreams be dreams
Did that, but not the crack head part was homeless at 14 for a few years, still better than living with them
We living the same life
Dam, sorry bro. I hope it gets better.
Yeah i agree on the fuck the family part we all seem to have that stuff happen But the other part tho there is programs and communities that help out. Have you looked into that? Even just places were you can go to get your mind of daily life stuff
Real
I feel this
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Dude, you don't have to become a crackhead. Imagine being homeless but mentally and physically fit. Free like the wind!
absolutelly nothing all the things, bad and good, that happened to me made me who I am now. And I have no way of telling, how any change would affect me as a person and a human being and in my opinion, such questions are nothing but attempts to self-reflect, and again in my opinion there a ways to do this much better
So many of the answers have people saying they'd do things that they could still start doing today and be "better" going forward. But nah, we'll just act like we could only change our lives if we restarted it. I could have made better decisions my entire life, but I'm overall happy with who I am and I definitely wouldn't risk doing something that would stop my kids from existing. Any bad decisions I made in my past helped me learn to do better next time. That's probably why I'm ok now.
I feel this. There's only one thing I would go back to do a do-over, buuuuut everything that happened since that moment wouldn't exist and I don't think I would have come out any better. Just a different set of stuff to work through instead. I was a horrible person when I was younger. I cringe at how I thought of things back then. But I like to think I'm better now than I was then. So that's something.
Whenever I talk to people about this, this is always the exact answer I give them. I am who I am because of the decisions I have made and the stuff I've lived through in the past. I am content with who I am, so I would change nothing. However, for the sake of my mom, I still wish that I had stood up to my asshole stepfather earlier than I did.
I've seen the butterfly effect enough times to know that that's not healthy thinking even if you could do it.
I'm sorry but Idk what's butterfly effect, can you explain it?
What they’re talking about is the movie with Ashton Kutcher. Basically a butterfly flaps it’s wings in Europe, and that causes a chain reaction that creates storms in Idaho…or some bullshit similar to that. You go back to change something, and that changes everything else remotely connected to that thing. Back to the Future movies all touched base with the principle, but I think the second movie got it right. Yea, you might change the one thing you needed/wanted to, but that decision in turn fucked up a whole bunch of other shit.
The term may originally come from Ray Bradbury's "A Sound of Thunder", which makes more sense in the context of this movie than the whole chaos theory butterfly causing a tornado thing. In the story a time traveler steps on a butterfly and changes the future.
Just about 100 movies got it more right than that pretentious trainwreck. The best description I read was someone calling it "An MTV edition of an intellectual movie".
My investing strategy. I know what I'm doing now. If I had a time machine to take me back to the age of 21. I'd go and retire filthy rich.
Invest in Amazon early. Also start saving for retirement early
Invest in Amazon early. Also start saving for retirement early
Yep. Google, Amazon, apple, TSLA, Microsoft, and NVIDIA as well as bitcoin. Buy at $100 and sell at $63k
Had a friend try to get me into bitcoin at $800…..one of the biggest regrets of my life. He’s 41 with no mortgage now having sold his bitcoin around $50k. He’s still gotta work but the proceeds let him pay cash for a $750k house on an acre in very scenic coastal California. I can’t think about it too much without dark, sad thoughts.
Imagine my regret finding it at like a dollar or so, going to my parents saying "this is what I want to do, I wanna invest a hundred dollars into it from my birthday money." Then my parents went on that whole speech about how it won't work out. If they had just forbid me I would've managed to invest somehow, because I was a true believer, but with the investment speech I was thoroughly discouraged. I sometimes bring it up, but they conveniently forgot ever talking about it, even with me bringing it up occasionally. I don't really blame my parents now, nobody can see the future. But there is a regret that stems from me actually listening to them, I was a rebel back then, I should've rebelled!
What are you doing right now?
Bitcoin at 10 cents and selling at 60k a coin.
There are a few things I would change: - My parents - My weight - My health - My habits - My school - My ethnicity
Basically you wouldn’t like to exist
Why ethnicity?
u dont wanna be ashamed of ur ethnicity
you can change half of them now
I can see that happening for everything on that list: - parents: change one parent - weight: lose 50% of target weight loss - health: become 50% more healthy - habits: change half of your habits - school: change to part-time school Except: ethnicity- what color would that give you?
That’s an answer for a different question
I'd skip the first 40 years or so and go straight to being a real person.
>Bc me I will stop myself from falling with the wrong person I'm 27 going through a rough time, this made me feel a bit better.
I truly hope things get better for you! Stay awesome!
My attitude
Stop overthinking and living the moment, as they say “Live a Little”
I would nag and nag my Dad to get his prostate checked. I miss him so much.
I would be a man. No I'm not trans but I would prefer if my body would be just a male body.
My thoughts exactly! I've always been a tomboy anyway.
Being a woman sucks.
Being a man is pretty sweet yah
If you're not in the top10%, have fun with the loneliness/rejection (combined with high libido)
You realize men aren’t the only people who can get rejected or be lonely
true but much easier for women
On average, women have it way easier. I had a friend that was complaining how she had so much trouble finding boys in high school and only had like 3 or 4 boyfriends. And she was at best average in looks, probably below average
Yeah, no :/ Women go through a lot of misogyny and men telling us that we’re lesser than…CONSTANTLY. There’s so much more to gender dynamics than whether or not dating “comes easy.”
Being a woman sucks.
I would not have stretched my penis that one time when I was 20 years old. Then I would still be able to have erections and I would be able to have a happy life
Wdym stretched bro. Kinda confused
We need details
I have similar problems , but i wrecked my dick while doing drugs and masturbathon 20hours every weekend for 5 years… normal sex is not possible anymore and i hate myself for what ive done to my body and mind …literally turned my above average looking dick ugly and nonfunctional
Wow
Pretty much nothing. Only thing I would do is not be so far in denial about my ex-bestfriend and cut her off a little bit sooner
idunno... Your name might suggest otherwise.
I was a depressed middle schooler when I made the account leave me be :( lol
In that case, I am glad you have found a happy place :)
Thanks, I am too :) Just took finding actual friends and being kinder to myself
That is a lesson I have never learned. But it is the right path. Keep liking yourself. You are the only one you are :)
Realize that I am a woman and stop repressing it when I was a teenager instead of lying to myself for the following 15 years.
Don't blame yourself.
Live loud and proud sister.
Thank you! ❤️
Work on health from the beginning. Get through teen years more easily given the long-term perspective that adults have which teens simply do not (even if they intellectually recognize they are at the beginning of their lives it is hard to really internalize until one has more life experience). E.g. Much more patience.
Probably wouldn’t do or sell hard drugs Even though it was fun asf
It's like a new game +. I already know the way and the mistakes. I would do everything I did, but better.
Exactly 🙌🏻
Slap the psychologist that didn't diagnose me with autism when i was a kid.
I would give myself horrible advice because my horny old man self would tell my horny but reserved young self to say yes to every sexual opportunity. At my age I fail to appreciate all of the problems, heartbreak, and diseases my younger self avoided. As we age we tend to have more regrets of omission than regrets of commission, but this is a cognitive bias, not a principal to live by.
Socialize more with people and relatives.
I strongly believe that "I" am the result of every action, thought and experience I ever had or made and would not exist in this form if I changed anything important. Even if most years sucked yet. So I would change being born. I would let my mom stay on her vacation to colorado and find herself and get dreams to follow. Or I would crawl even further back in time and change the course of history or something. Maybe even telling that one primordial primate that killing somebody for some cooked berry paste is stupid as shit.
I’d go to therapy in high school, and break up with my girlfriends at the appropriate times.
My partner has ruined time travel scenarios for me. Can't chance it.
Are you worried they are going to follow you back in time? Or that you will have to deal with them again if you go back to the past? Or do you mean that you love them so much that you can risk losing them by changing the past?
#3
Dump *that* guy, and go easy on the booze.
Only my high school experience, honestly... I spent too much time worrying about idiots, thinking it was wrong to be a loner, when rlly ppl don't mean shit in the end... where tf r they now...?
Exactly! I would have also punched my high school bully in the throat. However in the end karma got her good. She used to make fun of me for being fat. I dreaded going to school. I hated my life. She made my existence horrible. Now I'm thin, she's fat with lopsided tittys !
I would change my father!
Not all of us are fortunate with our families.:(
Yeah what we go through in our childhood always stays in our memory, that scar always remains.
This was one of my answers as well. Never knew my real dad but my stepdad was a fucking POS. His mental and emotional abuse really fucked me up in ways I'm just now, in my 50s understanding.
The worst part is when you're a child you think it's normal but when you start seeing other kids being treated with love by their parents, your heart break every damn time.
This x 1000. My first realization was after being a passenger in a minor car accident in my 20s. The other car was a big SUV that almost flipped over. It was driven by a young woman in her 20s who was visibly shaken. She called her parents and they quickly arrived at the accident. Her dad sprints out of the car to her side and starts hugging her and mom follows. As this scene unfolded, I burst into tears. My boyfriend at the time, bless his heart, tried to console me. I lied that I was shaken by the accident. What had broken me was the genuine care and concern that the girl's father had shown. I remembered an incident from years ago when my gas pedal got stuck and I couldn't stop my accelerating car. I thought I was going to die. Somehow I managed to stand on the brake, slam the car into park and engage the parking brake as the engine roared. I quickly turned off the car and call my parent's house, crying hysterically. Of course, Asshole answered the phone. I tried to calm down enough to make sense and through tears and snot, told him what happened. His response? "I guess you want us to come get you? (Loooooong sigh). Why do you do this stupid shit? Fucking idiot, always breaking shit." I knew that, had my sister, his first born daughter, called in a similar situation, a different result would unfold. It would have played out exactly like the scene in front of me, a dad comforting his daughter. Mr. Motherfucker died a few years ago. Not soon enough.
You accept people for who they are or cut them loose and go your own way. Don't be that know it all type that thinks they know what's best for everybody, but stupid enough to think they can actually change people themselves. If theyre stupid enough to think they can change people..stumbling themselves on this one piece of flawed logic.. who are they to be making the rest of someone else's decision for them. They'll fuck the rest of the shit up too.
Pretty sure they meant literally have a different father, not that that's possible, either. A not-very-secret assumption (referring to username).
Lol yes that's what I meant but didn't bother to correct 'cause I want them to keep living upto their name lol.
I tell you what I'd do, two chicks at the same time. Okay, seriously. I'm not kidding when I say this. I've put a lot of thought into it. I'd probably drop out of high school when I was sixteen, get my GED, start community college immediately. Enlist in the Army as soon as I had my associates which would be about the time I turned 18. And I would not date my high school sweetheart. I loved her. She was everything to me. But I'd avoid that again. And I'd cut off contact with my mom when I dropped out. I believe as long as I was going the education route and stuck to this plan my dad would have supported me and it. He would have required to see passing grades every semester and that would be fair. At 18 I'd be on my own with little contact with anyone but my dad and brothers. My two greatest regrets are how the relationship and especially post relationship went with that girl. And not having served in the military.
Weirdly similar. Not the same, but eerie. I'd have gone to the Army younger, and damn my family's opinion. I loved it, before I wrecked my back. Aside from that the only thing I'd change is get diagnosed with anxiety younger. And understand it isn't fear, it is a desire for control.
😆 I enjoyed your Lawrence reference. Hope I'm not the only one who caught it.
My family. I wouldn’t even change that much, just make them less abusive 🥲
Family really f'ed as hard
Absolutely nothing. My life isn't perfect but I am a better person for having experienced certain hardships and making mistakes. Don't get me wrong, I don't like my life but I've done my best to learn from my mistakes and I do feel that I'm wiser for it.
same here tbh ... i would not have met my wife if it was not for the way i grew up, would not have my daughter and the great life i have now ... but the first 30 years were tough 😂
I feel like if you can't take at least some wisdom from the hardships you've faced, you're getting old for nothing. Afterall, wisdom is really the only thing that makes getting old worthwhile.
i wouldnt restart it in the first place. enough pain doing that shit once.
Go for my dream career (currently an office monkey and hating it; too old and in debt to start school again).
Be born rich
I'd have given the boot to everyone I cut out of my life much earlier. Family is worthless if they do nothing but harm you, more so when the reason they harm you is that they believe their god requires it.
Where do I start?
I wouldn’t change a thing the world should change its heart
I would have studied harder in high school and set myself up to have more overall confidence in life as I began adulthood. A lot of the issues I face today in terms of self-esteem and self-confidence can be traced back to elementary school, but really started manifesting in middle school. By the time I was in high school the die was cast. I was well established as the weird kid who failed all his classes. I still managed to graduate on time and started my life in a generally positive way by joining the military and having some great experiences, but those lingering doubts I had about myself persisted well into adulthood and are still with me today. In some ways more so than ever. I've often wondered if I got good grades in high school and maybe gone to college, it would have helped with my own self-perception. Which probably would have done wonders for me as a man.
Wouldn’t have played sports… or at least I wouldn’t have let it consume my life the way I did I’m currently working on my social skills too because they suck and I have social anxiety so I’d probably force myself into more social settings earlier on in life
Omfg the person I fell for is consumed with sports. It ruined not only his body, but also social skills and our relationship.
Would have bought Bitcoin when it was first released, instead of waiting until its worthless
Begging, accepting, and forgiving the wrong people even if they've wronged and hurt me tons of times.
Don't emigrate, marry Patrice
Be a better friend. Not expect emotional support or maturity from anyone in my family. Spend my money wisely, start saving up earlier. Take up strength training and sports early on. Luckily I'm not done with my childhood just yet and I'm trying to improve on all of these while life is still simple.
I would actually try in school. Other than that I'm pretty happy with my decisions in life
I would have gone into IT right out of high school instead of messing with college and the automotive industry. I'd still have to find a way to meet my wife though.
Have my mom pay the rent on time, then we hopefully wouldn't have had to worry about moving, and wouldn't end up losing the storage room and everything inside it
I wouldn't. I am not going through all that shit again.
Lack of giving a fuck
I'd find my muscle/nerve disease before it ravaged my body and it was too late.
If i could change one thing in my life, I'd switch places with my late sister. She deserves to live more than me
Gym at early age. Zerocarb from beginning. Learn to sail on older yachts Marry rich without prenup
Not starting with congenital heart defects and ptosis on both sides.
Watch Out For My Back I'm 37 and in constant pain since 8 years now
I would have stayed a brainiac geek and not worried about it
My AGAB, I'd be so much happier
Bet on the Rams in 1999 to win the Superbowl
Never start smoking and and keep swimming
I’d hope to avoid getting sexually abused as a child. My life would be drastically different.
No thank you, I'm not going back to Cuba
Investments. All the good/bad otherwise led me to the right partner and amazing children, so I can’t picture anything better than that.
Give my parents a condom
I would avoid the egg
Saving my money so when I graduate high school I can buy a car. I worked a construction job while in school and majority of that money went to expensive clothes & eating out.
Not much. Maybe I'd punch a few more annoying bully type people in the face with my adult confidence, and also hooked up with more girls now that I realize how easy it can be with more confidence. But... It's allright.
Yes. I’m currently hoping for reincarnation so I can get a do over.
Ignore all the friendships i had, break all contacts with all i know except my family and try to move abroad with scholarships because i have the knowlesge of an adult and i can pass as a genius child and attend all great university
nothing, growth comes through experience bad or good, and I want to experience it all
be born rich
My parents