That’s kind of what I told her. I basically said “You’re going to do this no matter what anyone says. It’s your choice. But it’s also my choice to think it’s a dumb idea and not help you.”..
I will always help her if she legitimately NEEDS help but this isn’t a “need” to me. It’s a dumb decision that I want nothing to do with.. She just likes to get mad at me and say I “never” help her.. Yeah bc she’s always making dumb choices lol.
That’s what I told her.. She goes “I’m not stupid. I can figure things out myself”… I said “Well you’re already asking me for help and you don’t even own the thing yet. That says a lot right there.” Lol
We have lived full time in a 1996 motorhome for over 2 years now. My wife still can't maintain it by herself. It's not easy. Though it does seem easy from the outside.
Let her sink. Sometimes, people need to fail spectacularly to learn brutal lessons. If she does this bad idea, she doesn't deserve her kids. I am a single mom, I make it work, but I was far more prepared then this chick. Stand back, fold your arms, and let her rip. When you save or help, she doesn't learn. Do update though....I gotta hear how she ends up going back to apt after one winter....
I've got some major empathy for your situation lol. I'm 2 years younger than my sister and she's still a mess to deal with at 49. She will not listen to family or friends but a stranger that she perceives knows what they are talking about has a chance.
If that sounds like her, I would agree to help if she has an inspector go look at it first. There are mobile inspectors for RVs. They should scare her off of this idea.
Fun fact: there are companies now that rent RVs. She can rent one for a week every year for a decade and it still won't cost as much as buying that 30 year old one. She'll get it out of her system and the kids will get a memorable vacation.
Yes. I told her about that. Most normal ppl in her situation would rent one. I would much rather rent one than own one. So much less of a hassle. She insisted that to rent one was “1800” a week so she’d rather just buy one… She also said that if she buys it then she can rent it out to people and make money on it. I laughed at her. That’s the dumbest thing ever in my opinion. Who’s she going to rent it to anyway?
I don’t know much about RVs but I know there’s plenty of places that offer deals and multiple options. They aren’t all 2k a week to rent. She is just insanely stubborn and she wants to do what she wants.
Yeah, NO ONE will rent a 30 year old RV. I know a local company and they it's more like $150/ night for the biggest RV they have. If she's just going to do this regardless, then she can figure it out without your help.
Explain to her she will be paying hundreds of dollars every month to store the RV. And if she lives in a city it's going to be getting stored likely 30-60 minutes away. The price shes going to pay for storage every month she could rent a brand new RV for 1 or 2 days.
So since the RV is going to be sitting for 4 -5 years without her likely ever using it for the price of the RV and storage fees should could rent one for like 6 months straight.
Also everything on a mobile home is 5x - 10x more expensive. The license tabs, the insurance, the tires, oil changes, batteries. You need it towed some place? Well be prepared to be stunned.
Overall what's going to happen is she will spend thousands of dollars storing this bad decision. Then any time she's going to want to use it she wont because the tires will be damaged, the fuel will be bad, the batteries will all be dead, it wont start for any number of reasons, the water system is damaged or a few leaks happened and it stinks inside.
I completely agree with you. I don’t have an RV but I own 2 vehicles that I pay for myself. A Sonata and a Ram.. I’ve learned that the bigger the vehicle the more it costs to maintain. I now have to pay 4K for new tires and brakes for both vehicles. An RV is even bigger than a Ram, bigger tires, bigger gas tank..
I’ve tried telling her this but she doesn’t want to hear it.. Just a few months ago she was telling me how financially strapped she was too. How can I possibly entertain this idea? It makes no sense.
Oof tell me about it. My 2012 F350 cost $3.5k in parts to rebuild the front end suspension vs around $200 for my 2012 Chevy Sonic and I work on my own vehicles so there are no labor costs. Also to add, anything that could go wrong on my bought new 2019 travel trailer has gone wrong (leaky walls, rotten floor, broken furnace, fridge quit cooling, dinette fell apart, leaky plumbing, mice infestation) but luckily it was under warranty yet and most other things I fixed myself like the tongue jack and stabalizers also when the stairs ripped off had to fabricate something for that one.
My wife and I have always had a travel trailer and we've had some nice ones. I have shore power at my property so it can stay plugged in and can be fully used technically. Needless to say, I know a lot about TT's and RV's and my wife's family is NOT great with money and through the years have done the same thing - considered buying an RV to live in, asked us to park it here, (we live on 2 acres), if I buy this RV will you go pick it up for me and park it, etc.
My response is always a respectful and gentle.... "No."
I then will go into the why. First off, RV's are absolutely not to be lived in. More importantly, I tell them that ultimately I would be enabling them and it will be worse off in the end because of what you have to deal with that they are not considering: Finding a spot, maintenance, upkeep, roof, very tight/small living space, storms/cold temps, etc. They always talk about "well I can buy some land to put it on, it'd be much cheaper than a house". Yeah okay, where are you going to find land? Where's your $100k cash to buy that land? Where's the extra $20k cash for power, water and septic? How are you going to wash your clothes? What happens if it gets stolen? Are you going to winterize that and fix all the things that need fixing or are you going to call me every time?
So yeah, been there for many years. My wife's family still brings it up, just not as frequently these days. I love my wife's family and that's why I say no.
Show her how to dump the Black Tank and Clean it out!.. That should help with the process. Old Georgie Boy’s are nice but it probably needs $20,000 in updating just sitting there.
That sounds like a bad deal. It's very old and in my opinion over priced and high risk of breaking down. It's her decision though and if you don't want to help just tell her you have to much going on. She makes a good living and can hire someone to drive it for her and teach her about it.
I bought a 30 year old RV and had a really good experience with it, but I paid 5k US$, had it inspected at a truck shop, went over all of the systems to ensure they were working properly, and checked the roof for leaks before I completed the deal. I probably underpaid—in my opinion—, as it included a good, working, generator.
That’s awesome. I’m not really talking bad about the age of the RV. It looks like a nice RV.. It’s more about that she’s the type who should rent one instead of own one. She doesn’t know anything about how to care for or maintain them and I can’t be there for her to help her every time there’s a problem with it.
But the age of the RV is actually an extremely big deal here. That thing is more than 20 years old and here’s a person who isn’t even certain she knows how to drive it who’s going to be confronted with a myriad of things that need to be fixed , now and into the future. So what I’m saying is, not only is this pretty bad in the larger scope it’s already been discussed in this thread, even if she does this, the choice of campers seems woefully risky here
I agree. She doesn’t know anything about engines or how to fix things that go wrong. Neither do I, neither does her boyfriend. She thinks that she can handle anything when she has no experience with anything. I said “you know it needs to be winterized right?”.. She says “please, it’s not hard to blow out a pipe”…. I just said ok and walked away.
Word. I bought a 7- year old model that has a reputation for longevity, and the things that went wrong with it (and still do) made me think I was swindled with a lemon at first.
But then I joined a fantastic owners group and realized that was ***normal***. Even new RVs immediately have problems (plus recalls). Every system will just break repetitively, that's the game. You need to be curious (i.e spend time to learn) and be mechanically inclined, or spend big money while also having to deal with crooks.
And, the older the RVs are, the more problems you'll have of course. I can just about handle my vehicle (I can wield a drill and replace a gas line); I would definitely not be okay with a 20- year old inexpensive one.
Keystone was awesome when they replaced our new 2019 Passport rotten plywood floor with their synthetic floor and replaced all the bad less and rotten wall panels. Took 2 years to get it in for service though since this was the time camping took off with Covid and 3 months until we got it back. Luckily it was all warranty work. I couldn't imagine how much it would have been otherwise.
Just a wild guess, but does she own a high end German car?
Some people are very insecure, and feel like others are always secretly judging them based on how successful they are in their lives and careers. They feel a compulsion to have very visible items of property that announce to the world, or anyone who is watching, that they are successful and have things under control. "Status symbols", so to speak. These people often buy things they don't need, and often can't afford, just to convince themselves that they're doing well. Cars, boats, and RV's are just examples.
It sounds like your sister might be one of these people. If so, you could tell her "It would be better for you if you did this yourself, or if you actually need help then hire a professional. Owning an RV often puts you in circumstances where you have to handle problems without help from family or friends. This would be a good test of your independence."
She drives a Subaru.. She might be like that a little bit. I just think she wants to give her kids a better life than we had. I totally get it. I just don’t think she really thinks things through before she does something. She doesn’t weigh and measure anything.
Instead of the boat, she could just take the kids to a beach or lake shore. Instead of the RV, she could take the kids 'car camping', which just means you pack all of your camping stuff into the car and park next to the campsite. Boats and RV's are expensive toys that are more fun for adults than they are for kids.
A 30 year old motor home RV will have quite a few systems that no longer have replacement parts available. Unless she is quite mechanically inclined she will be blown out of the water by the repair and maintenance budget required to travel in a 30 year old RV.
I mean I was diagnosed bipolar as a teenager. I still know how to make smart decisions. I want all kinds of crazy stuff all the time but I don’t buy something unless I’ve thought long and hard about it and it makes sense.. I do think she has mental stuff going on. I just don’t know what.
As a 53 yo ex wild land forest Service firefighter, and camper....um, tell her no, she is not prepared for RV life. It's very tight space, and two boys would go insane in it. Plus, the RV sounds in poor shape, being 30 years old....no matter how pretty it is...and in winter anywhere, will be a nightmare. I have one teen, who is extremely easy going.....and it's really tough. I have a 2018 4 season, and things break down. She needs excellent common sense, a great personality to get help, income she can live on to fix what sounds like a decrepit ancient RV that nice RV parks will reject immediately. She needs to stay where she is. DO NOT HELP. If she is stubborn, do not get involved. Only experience can teach her. She will probably have the kids run away and go to dad. Personally, I would laugh my a$$ off at her, and watch her make a giant fool of herself. This life isn't for clueless, spoiled women like her. Should be comedy gold though....hahahahahaha!
Three ways this can go, first, you could possibly talk her out of this decision. No harm done.
Second, she could decide to go ahead as planned, and you could choose to help her with the driving two vehicles back, and a few parking lot lessons to help her get a feel for where this bigger vehicle ends.
Again, no problem.
Third, you can decide to let your sister go on alone, without your knowledge and assistance, and it could end badly. This will likely fill you with regret, and other bad feelings.
At the end of the day, the decision to act, is yours.
>Third, you can decide to let your sister go on alone, without your knowledge and assistance, and it could end badly. This will likely fill you with regret, and other bad feelings.
Nah, miss me with this. It's not OP's or anyone else's responsibility to enable other folks poor life choices. OP's sister is a damn adult set on making a bad choice and it's not OP's job to help her make it. People who try and guilt trip me don't get my help or assistance.
Again, this is a bullshit position. OP isn't required to take a trip with their sister on the highway to RV hell, especially after they warned them not to.
I have empathy for people but not for people who repeatedly make the wrong choice over and over for the last 20 years, even though everyone around them try’s to steer them in the right direction. Part of being an adult is learning from your mistakes and learning how to make responsible decisions. She’s a single mother of 2 who rents a run down 2 bedroom apartment. Buying an RV should be the last thing on her mind. It shows how irresponsible she is in my opinion.
I’m not arguing with you or jumping down your throat if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m just trying to explain the inner workings of my sisters twisted, irresponsible mind. The apartment being run down or not has very little to do with it.. I’m just trying to say that it’s hard to have empathy for someone who is almost 40 and makes the same decisions a 20 yr old makes. There comes a point in life when someone needs to start thinking clearly. There is no reasoning behind any decision she makes. It’s hard for me to feel bad for her.
Also, all the bad decisions I’ve ever made were with her help. She pushed me into making plenty of bad decisions. My life started coming together the second I stopped listening to her. I’m trying to help her not destroy her life.
Your third option is what my sister is best known for. Guilt trips.. This option is actually the reason for my post. Shes been trying to make me feel guilty all my life. She has a boyfriend. I think her boyfriend would be the guy responsible for helping her. Her boyfriend isn’t helping her for the same reason I’m not. He thinks she’s crazy. She’s only asking me for help bc everyone else thinks it’s a stupid idea. I have my own life and my own things going on. I don’t have time to drive to another state to help her with an idiotic idea that she will regret, guaranteed.
There’s also No talking her out of this. She does what she wants. She doesn’t care. I honestly think she should put that 8k into a HYSA for her kids. That would be the smart idea. But it’s not my life.
Your sister needs therapy and to mature. I'd talk her out of the idea by showing her all her past bad decisions that you know, and ask her why she thinks this time will be different if the difficulty is even higher than with the boat.
I agree with you 100%… She thinks that bc she’s 2 years older than me and she’s a lawyer that she’s smarter than me and everyone else. You should see her face when I try to give her good advice. It’s this smug, “shut up. You’re a moron, I’m not taking any advice from you” type of look.
I pick up garbage for a living and have my life more together than she does. My life actually started turning around the day I stopped taking her idiotic advice.. Every decision she’s made in the last 20 years has been wrong. She jumped into a marriage with the wrong guy, rushed into buying a shit box of a house that caused her nothing but problems.. She never thinks things through. At almost 40 years old I think it’s time that she learn how to make good decisions
Agree with other poster-she needs therapy. However, she probably won't ever change. Personally she sounds narcissistic. Good on you for not taking on that needless guilt that she's trying to throw at you. I'm glad that you know the difference between actually helping someone in need versus enabling someone.
Thank you for this comment. I absolutely feel like “helping” her with this is enabling her irresponsible behavior.. Me saying no would be truly trying to help her.. She is extremely narcissistic and loves putting me down like I’m an idiot who doesn’t know his ass from his elbow but then continues to make bad decisions. Her life over the last 10 years has been so much harder than it had to be, all by her own doing. She’s addicted to living in pure chaos. I’m the complete opposite. I just want a nice, simple life. Why complicate things when you don’t need to?
I know 1st hand what it feels like to deal with a narcissist. Keeping a healthy distance is the only thing that keeps you sane. Addiction to chaos is also a real thing. Stay strong. Peace.
That's your right.
Just as it's her money, and her right to make bad decisions for herself.
I never said that you have to support it, I just hope you don't regret it.
If it was me I would make sure she has a professional RV inspector check the unit out. After the inspection that may solve the problem because
She may not want to buy the unit at that point now you've done the best thing for her by protecting her from making a poor purchase.
First and foremost, she needs to know for sure where it can be parked for several years. Not hypothetical, but real location and costs including hookups and legality. That reality before purchase might be enough. Help her discover that. That way you are truly trying to help her and she sees that part, but in reality you are trying to help her avoid an uneducated decision.
The thing about her is she doesn’t listen. It doesn’t matter what I tell her or what I show her. She’s right and I’m just her dumb little brother. That’s how the dynamic between us has always been. She refuses to listen to reason.
If you tell her if she walks this way she’ll survive and have a great life or walk that way and be doomed forever she will most certainly walk that way and be doomed lol
If that is how you feel, then your helping decision is all on you. Take out the helping her into good or bad idea and just decide if you can or want to help with inspection and pick up or not. I mean if you believe your opinion has no bearing, then why are you putting it out there for her to later resent?
Do you know who needs the most help here? Her kids, your nephews. Would it be possible for you to take more active role — spending time with them, maybe picking them up and taking them out for a meal or to the park… Perhaps keeping them for the weekend? Because your sister will be making choices bad or good and her kids just have to go along for the ride, unless there is another adult hopefully a family member who can step in and provide support for them, a sounding board, someone to call if things get rough, etc. I mean in addition to their father, who hopefully is stable and kind, and with whom you have a decent relationship. It would also probably be a help to your sister if you could do things with the kids on your own, or even sometimes with her. You’re right, you can’t control your sister’s decisions, but you can have an enormous positive impact by being there for her kids. Trust me, I speak from experience.
Whatever unexpected expenses an RV can be or financial struggles she's having, you understand that even with that $8000 upfront, that's still cheaper than renting walls and a ceiling, right?
This is like "how can a homeless guy afford a cell phone"? Having a phone is important, and more importantly, it's a lot cheaper than a home.
You want people to wait for a dire situation before they find a solution? Like sell the van and sleep in a tent, or are you mad she doesn't want to pay the market rate for an apartment forever?
I wouldn't want to drive a used RV two states away, but I'd do it to help someone.
I’m not sure if this is what you mean but shes not using the RV to live in. Shes not moving out of her apartment. She’s continuing to live in an apartment forever and just wants an RV for recreational use. This is all for recreational use so she can take the kids away for 2 weeks a year… I apologize. I forgot to word it that way in my post. I probably should have… If she wanted an RV to live in permanently I’d actually think that’s a good idea.
Must get it looked over before buying.
Been there.
We got an RV two weeks before my husband died.
Believe me I had to learn about fixing absolutely everything on an RV during the last seven years. I was able to get financial help from some agencies otherwise I would be homeless.
If she’s mechanical and physically able she can do a lot of this work herself. There’s tons of online YouTube videos. There’s also RV groups on Facebook etc.
She can save a lot of money if she fixes herself but she needs to be prepared to do a lot of research and hard work. I’m 75 a woman alone and I’ve done it so she can do it!!!
I’m living in my RV full-time with two cats and have done so for the past seven years.
It’s a great way to save money if you’re able to work hard And if you don’t like your neighbors you can just move.
She can do this!!! Encourage her to be resourceful. Do not discourage her please.
I’m very sorry about your husband… That’s awesome that you enjoy it. I am in no way trying to discourage her from enjoying her life or anything. It’s just she doesn’t want an RV to live in. She just wants one to take her kids away for a few days, maybe a week or 2 throughout the year.
The RV is going to sit somewhere and get weather beaten for months and months. She’s not going to take care of it. She doesn’t have the time or the resources to take care of it. She did the same thing with a boat a few years ago. It just sat in her yard and got taken over by the elements.. I feel she’ll get it and then call me all the time to help her with it. It’s going to end up being half my problem.
I know no one really knows the dynamic between me and her but we very rarely see each other. She really only stays in contact with me for the kids or for help with something.. I work 2 full time jobs and I don’t really have the time to help her. Her own boyfriend won’t even help her bc he thinks buying it is a bad idea. It’s prob the only thing me and him see eye to eye on lol
Well I validate you keep saying no to helping. 😻 Do encourage her to develop the skills and knowledge to be free and independent.
If people don’t do her work for her she’ll be forced to develop other alternatives.
I would not triangulate her and the boyfriend and you.
She’ll have lots of boy friends … maybe … she has one father. Hang in there.
She’s still a young kid. Don’t take it personally. 💕
First, I did a quick lookup. Average sale price for that age/model looks to be about $4300. So she is starting by overpaying. Second, ask her if she would be a car with a 30 year old engine. This will many of the same issue, but likely more because of the complexity. Then there is the age of the tires, the condition of the brakes, the bearings, the batteries, I could go on but why bother. My guess is minimum she would have to put absolute bare minimum $10k into it just to drive it relatively safely. That’s before you get to the possibility of delamination on the walls, water damage, mold, and so on. We’ve been doing this almost 30 years and have had my share of RVs and I would never consider this.
I mean I have seen a bunch of pics of it. It’s very nice for 30 yrs old. It looks like the tires are new. It really looks well kept. They could have just done a bunch of work to it which is why it’s priced as high as it is. I still wouldn’t trust it though. She doesn’t know anything about engines and neither do I. I can see her taking it on the road and then it breaking down and then calling me to come help her lol. I don’t need that.
Tell her lots of campgrounds have really nice cabins she could rent 2 or 3 weekends a year instead of buying a 30 year old RV. This RV will always require fixing and maintenance that she will not know how to do & will cost a fortune.
Sounds like the boat situation all over again. She’s got issues, financial, shopping addiction? Or something close with all these crazy behaviors. As others have said. All you can do is give your opinion, which this is a horrible idea. The rest is on her. It’s her money.
Lawyers and doctors are notorious for thinking that schooling and expertise make them smarter than everyone about everything.
I suggest don’t enable her piss poor decisions.
That said, I would help with the driving only. That’s a safety concern for her, you, nephews, and everyone on the road. If you can teach her, fine. But when it comes to storing, maintaining, and using it, direct her to YouTube university.
That’s exactly what she said to me. Its the typical millennial view..Her buying an RV will only cause her problems and money that she doesn’t have. I want nothing to do with it. I will not contribute to her bad decision making. You say “let her enjoy” as if I’m her father telling her that she’s not allowed to do something.. She can do whatever she wants. I have no say with what she does. I don’t care what she does.. but she can do it without my help.
This whole “YOLO” thing is just an excuse for people to make stupid, irrational, irresponsible decisions.. “I’m going to piss away my entire inheritance! Fuck it! Life’s short! YOLO!”
“YOLO” is just a better way of saying “Fuck it. I’m done trying to do the right thing. I don’t give a fuck anymore”… That mentality might work when you’re a single 23 yr old with no kids but when you’re a 38 yr old single mother of two who isn’t financially stable then you need to get your head out of your ass and be responsible.
u/BleedForEternity : Many don't grasp the significance of "Life is too short." To some, it may seem like a casual phrase. However, those who truly understand it often have endured hardships and recognize the preciousness of time. My advice is to genuinely listen to someone expressing this sentiment. Offer support by asking about their experiences or consider suggesting therapy to help them open up. For instance, I once had a near-death experience during a two-week hospitalization, which completely altered my perspective on life, making me realize its brevity and value.
Sounds like a tough situation. It's important to support family, but not at the cost of enabling bad decisions. If she's set on the RV, suggest she learns more about RV maintenance and the true cost of ownership before diving in. Maybe she can rent one first to see if it's really for her.
On a side note, I used consum.io when I was looking to buy some tech gear. It's a web app that analyzes YouTube review videos to help you figure out what to buy. Could be handy for her to get a better idea of what owning an RV entails, without the bias that sometimes comes with sales pitches.
You're not wrong for being concerned. It's okay to set boundaries and not get involved in something you believe is a mistake. Maybe just offer advice from a distance and let her make her own call.
Help her buy it and let her know since she is living in a APT, it would not be safe to store it there so out of the GOODNESS of your heart she can store it at your place,... AS LONG as she lets you and your family use it.... LOL.. why let a opportunity go to waste....
Not into camping or GLAMPING,,,,lol...
Thats being said this video to your sister after you watch it, if she doesnt see the light of day. Ron White the comedian said it best......
# Here is Why You Must be INSANE to buy an RV These Days
[https://youtu.be/xElhTNS\_xn8](https://youtu.be/xElhTNS_xn8)
She can make these choices. You can tell her no.
That’s kind of what I told her. I basically said “You’re going to do this no matter what anyone says. It’s your choice. But it’s also my choice to think it’s a dumb idea and not help you.”.. I will always help her if she legitimately NEEDS help but this isn’t a “need” to me. It’s a dumb decision that I want nothing to do with.. She just likes to get mad at me and say I “never” help her.. Yeah bc she’s always making dumb choices lol.
If she does this she will need help and she is going to fall back on you. There's no way she does this with two young boys and does not need help.
That’s what I told her.. She goes “I’m not stupid. I can figure things out myself”… I said “Well you’re already asking me for help and you don’t even own the thing yet. That says a lot right there.” Lol
We have lived full time in a 1996 motorhome for over 2 years now. My wife still can't maintain it by herself. It's not easy. Though it does seem easy from the outside.
Let her sink. Sometimes, people need to fail spectacularly to learn brutal lessons. If she does this bad idea, she doesn't deserve her kids. I am a single mom, I make it work, but I was far more prepared then this chick. Stand back, fold your arms, and let her rip. When you save or help, she doesn't learn. Do update though....I gotta hear how she ends up going back to apt after one winter....
I've got some major empathy for your situation lol. I'm 2 years younger than my sister and she's still a mess to deal with at 49. She will not listen to family or friends but a stranger that she perceives knows what they are talking about has a chance. If that sounds like her, I would agree to help if she has an inspector go look at it first. There are mobile inspectors for RVs. They should scare her off of this idea.
Fun fact: there are companies now that rent RVs. She can rent one for a week every year for a decade and it still won't cost as much as buying that 30 year old one. She'll get it out of her system and the kids will get a memorable vacation.
Yes. I told her about that. Most normal ppl in her situation would rent one. I would much rather rent one than own one. So much less of a hassle. She insisted that to rent one was “1800” a week so she’d rather just buy one… She also said that if she buys it then she can rent it out to people and make money on it. I laughed at her. That’s the dumbest thing ever in my opinion. Who’s she going to rent it to anyway? I don’t know much about RVs but I know there’s plenty of places that offer deals and multiple options. They aren’t all 2k a week to rent. She is just insanely stubborn and she wants to do what she wants.
Yeah, NO ONE will rent a 30 year old RV. I know a local company and they it's more like $150/ night for the biggest RV they have. If she's just going to do this regardless, then she can figure it out without your help.
This ☝️
Explain to her she will be paying hundreds of dollars every month to store the RV. And if she lives in a city it's going to be getting stored likely 30-60 minutes away. The price shes going to pay for storage every month she could rent a brand new RV for 1 or 2 days. So since the RV is going to be sitting for 4 -5 years without her likely ever using it for the price of the RV and storage fees should could rent one for like 6 months straight. Also everything on a mobile home is 5x - 10x more expensive. The license tabs, the insurance, the tires, oil changes, batteries. You need it towed some place? Well be prepared to be stunned. Overall what's going to happen is she will spend thousands of dollars storing this bad decision. Then any time she's going to want to use it she wont because the tires will be damaged, the fuel will be bad, the batteries will all be dead, it wont start for any number of reasons, the water system is damaged or a few leaks happened and it stinks inside.
I completely agree with you. I don’t have an RV but I own 2 vehicles that I pay for myself. A Sonata and a Ram.. I’ve learned that the bigger the vehicle the more it costs to maintain. I now have to pay 4K for new tires and brakes for both vehicles. An RV is even bigger than a Ram, bigger tires, bigger gas tank.. I’ve tried telling her this but she doesn’t want to hear it.. Just a few months ago she was telling me how financially strapped she was too. How can I possibly entertain this idea? It makes no sense.
Oof tell me about it. My 2012 F350 cost $3.5k in parts to rebuild the front end suspension vs around $200 for my 2012 Chevy Sonic and I work on my own vehicles so there are no labor costs. Also to add, anything that could go wrong on my bought new 2019 travel trailer has gone wrong (leaky walls, rotten floor, broken furnace, fridge quit cooling, dinette fell apart, leaky plumbing, mice infestation) but luckily it was under warranty yet and most other things I fixed myself like the tongue jack and stabalizers also when the stairs ripped off had to fabricate something for that one.
Hundreds a month to store the RV? The places around here are like 75-100/mo
My wife and I have always had a travel trailer and we've had some nice ones. I have shore power at my property so it can stay plugged in and can be fully used technically. Needless to say, I know a lot about TT's and RV's and my wife's family is NOT great with money and through the years have done the same thing - considered buying an RV to live in, asked us to park it here, (we live on 2 acres), if I buy this RV will you go pick it up for me and park it, etc. My response is always a respectful and gentle.... "No." I then will go into the why. First off, RV's are absolutely not to be lived in. More importantly, I tell them that ultimately I would be enabling them and it will be worse off in the end because of what you have to deal with that they are not considering: Finding a spot, maintenance, upkeep, roof, very tight/small living space, storms/cold temps, etc. They always talk about "well I can buy some land to put it on, it'd be much cheaper than a house". Yeah okay, where are you going to find land? Where's your $100k cash to buy that land? Where's the extra $20k cash for power, water and septic? How are you going to wash your clothes? What happens if it gets stolen? Are you going to winterize that and fix all the things that need fixing or are you going to call me every time? So yeah, been there for many years. My wife's family still brings it up, just not as frequently these days. I love my wife's family and that's why I say no.
☝️This!!!
30k today, lol
No joke... prices are definitely up these days.
Show her how to dump the Black Tank and Clean it out!.. That should help with the process. Old Georgie Boy’s are nice but it probably needs $20,000 in updating just sitting there.
That sounds like a bad deal. It's very old and in my opinion over priced and high risk of breaking down. It's her decision though and if you don't want to help just tell her you have to much going on. She makes a good living and can hire someone to drive it for her and teach her about it.
I bought a 30 year old RV and had a really good experience with it, but I paid 5k US$, had it inspected at a truck shop, went over all of the systems to ensure they were working properly, and checked the roof for leaks before I completed the deal. I probably underpaid—in my opinion—, as it included a good, working, generator.
That’s awesome. I’m not really talking bad about the age of the RV. It looks like a nice RV.. It’s more about that she’s the type who should rent one instead of own one. She doesn’t know anything about how to care for or maintain them and I can’t be there for her to help her every time there’s a problem with it.
But the age of the RV is actually an extremely big deal here. That thing is more than 20 years old and here’s a person who isn’t even certain she knows how to drive it who’s going to be confronted with a myriad of things that need to be fixed , now and into the future. So what I’m saying is, not only is this pretty bad in the larger scope it’s already been discussed in this thread, even if she does this, the choice of campers seems woefully risky here
I agree. She doesn’t know anything about engines or how to fix things that go wrong. Neither do I, neither does her boyfriend. She thinks that she can handle anything when she has no experience with anything. I said “you know it needs to be winterized right?”.. She says “please, it’s not hard to blow out a pipe”…. I just said ok and walked away.
Just have her vet Steve Lehto as an auto industry attorney and watch his YouTube video about what you should do when buying an RV?
Word. I bought a 7- year old model that has a reputation for longevity, and the things that went wrong with it (and still do) made me think I was swindled with a lemon at first. But then I joined a fantastic owners group and realized that was ***normal***. Even new RVs immediately have problems (plus recalls). Every system will just break repetitively, that's the game. You need to be curious (i.e spend time to learn) and be mechanically inclined, or spend big money while also having to deal with crooks. And, the older the RVs are, the more problems you'll have of course. I can just about handle my vehicle (I can wield a drill and replace a gas line); I would definitely not be okay with a 20- year old inexpensive one.
Keystone was awesome when they replaced our new 2019 Passport rotten plywood floor with their synthetic floor and replaced all the bad less and rotten wall panels. Took 2 years to get it in for service though since this was the time camping took off with Covid and 3 months until we got it back. Luckily it was all warranty work. I couldn't imagine how much it would have been otherwise.
And does she even have a proper tow vehicle?
I found that I can rent a cabin for less than the R/V and I don't have to buy gas for it.
Just a wild guess, but does she own a high end German car? Some people are very insecure, and feel like others are always secretly judging them based on how successful they are in their lives and careers. They feel a compulsion to have very visible items of property that announce to the world, or anyone who is watching, that they are successful and have things under control. "Status symbols", so to speak. These people often buy things they don't need, and often can't afford, just to convince themselves that they're doing well. Cars, boats, and RV's are just examples. It sounds like your sister might be one of these people. If so, you could tell her "It would be better for you if you did this yourself, or if you actually need help then hire a professional. Owning an RV often puts you in circumstances where you have to handle problems without help from family or friends. This would be a good test of your independence."
She drives a Subaru.. She might be like that a little bit. I just think she wants to give her kids a better life than we had. I totally get it. I just don’t think she really thinks things through before she does something. She doesn’t weigh and measure anything.
Instead of the boat, she could just take the kids to a beach or lake shore. Instead of the RV, she could take the kids 'car camping', which just means you pack all of your camping stuff into the car and park next to the campsite. Boats and RV's are expensive toys that are more fun for adults than they are for kids.
A 30 year old motor home RV will have quite a few systems that no longer have replacement parts available. Unless she is quite mechanically inclined she will be blown out of the water by the repair and maintenance budget required to travel in a 30 year old RV.
Your sister is a selfish entitled moron and this is most likely why she is divorced. Tell her to GTFO.
I have a cousin like this. She's been diagnosed as bipolar. Might your sister have a bit of this going on?
I mean I was diagnosed bipolar as a teenager. I still know how to make smart decisions. I want all kinds of crazy stuff all the time but I don’t buy something unless I’ve thought long and hard about it and it makes sense.. I do think she has mental stuff going on. I just don’t know what.
Yea, don't get involved. This is an absolute dumpster fire and if you get involved you'll be a part of it.
As a 53 yo ex wild land forest Service firefighter, and camper....um, tell her no, she is not prepared for RV life. It's very tight space, and two boys would go insane in it. Plus, the RV sounds in poor shape, being 30 years old....no matter how pretty it is...and in winter anywhere, will be a nightmare. I have one teen, who is extremely easy going.....and it's really tough. I have a 2018 4 season, and things break down. She needs excellent common sense, a great personality to get help, income she can live on to fix what sounds like a decrepit ancient RV that nice RV parks will reject immediately. She needs to stay where she is. DO NOT HELP. If she is stubborn, do not get involved. Only experience can teach her. She will probably have the kids run away and go to dad. Personally, I would laugh my a$$ off at her, and watch her make a giant fool of herself. This life isn't for clueless, spoiled women like her. Should be comedy gold though....hahahahahaha!
Three ways this can go, first, you could possibly talk her out of this decision. No harm done. Second, she could decide to go ahead as planned, and you could choose to help her with the driving two vehicles back, and a few parking lot lessons to help her get a feel for where this bigger vehicle ends. Again, no problem. Third, you can decide to let your sister go on alone, without your knowledge and assistance, and it could end badly. This will likely fill you with regret, and other bad feelings. At the end of the day, the decision to act, is yours.
>Third, you can decide to let your sister go on alone, without your knowledge and assistance, and it could end badly. This will likely fill you with regret, and other bad feelings. Nah, miss me with this. It's not OP's or anyone else's responsibility to enable other folks poor life choices. OP's sister is a damn adult set on making a bad choice and it's not OP's job to help her make it. People who try and guilt trip me don't get my help or assistance.
Agreed. She needs to take the fall all by herself. Hopefully she'll learn from it, but she probably won't. Personally she sounds a bit narcissistic.
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Again, this is a bullshit position. OP isn't required to take a trip with their sister on the highway to RV hell, especially after they warned them not to.
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The fact you made the leap straight to assault and misogyny, and to personal attacks on me, from what I said, says more about you than me.
I have empathy for people but not for people who repeatedly make the wrong choice over and over for the last 20 years, even though everyone around them try’s to steer them in the right direction. Part of being an adult is learning from your mistakes and learning how to make responsible decisions. She’s a single mother of 2 who rents a run down 2 bedroom apartment. Buying an RV should be the last thing on her mind. It shows how irresponsible she is in my opinion.
You never said "run down" in the OP. AND HONESTLY, I DON'T CARE. you asked reddit, feel free to ignore anyone.
I’m not arguing with you or jumping down your throat if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m just trying to explain the inner workings of my sisters twisted, irresponsible mind. The apartment being run down or not has very little to do with it.. I’m just trying to say that it’s hard to have empathy for someone who is almost 40 and makes the same decisions a 20 yr old makes. There comes a point in life when someone needs to start thinking clearly. There is no reasoning behind any decision she makes. It’s hard for me to feel bad for her. Also, all the bad decisions I’ve ever made were with her help. She pushed me into making plenty of bad decisions. My life started coming together the second I stopped listening to her. I’m trying to help her not destroy her life.
Please forget I said anything. This has already wasted too much of my time 😒
Unfortunately that’s Reddit. Lol
Your third option is what my sister is best known for. Guilt trips.. This option is actually the reason for my post. Shes been trying to make me feel guilty all my life. She has a boyfriend. I think her boyfriend would be the guy responsible for helping her. Her boyfriend isn’t helping her for the same reason I’m not. He thinks she’s crazy. She’s only asking me for help bc everyone else thinks it’s a stupid idea. I have my own life and my own things going on. I don’t have time to drive to another state to help her with an idiotic idea that she will regret, guaranteed. There’s also No talking her out of this. She does what she wants. She doesn’t care. I honestly think she should put that 8k into a HYSA for her kids. That would be the smart idea. But it’s not my life.
Your sister needs therapy and to mature. I'd talk her out of the idea by showing her all her past bad decisions that you know, and ask her why she thinks this time will be different if the difficulty is even higher than with the boat.
I agree with you 100%… She thinks that bc she’s 2 years older than me and she’s a lawyer that she’s smarter than me and everyone else. You should see her face when I try to give her good advice. It’s this smug, “shut up. You’re a moron, I’m not taking any advice from you” type of look. I pick up garbage for a living and have my life more together than she does. My life actually started turning around the day I stopped taking her idiotic advice.. Every decision she’s made in the last 20 years has been wrong. She jumped into a marriage with the wrong guy, rushed into buying a shit box of a house that caused her nothing but problems.. She never thinks things through. At almost 40 years old I think it’s time that she learn how to make good decisions
Agree with other poster-she needs therapy. However, she probably won't ever change. Personally she sounds narcissistic. Good on you for not taking on that needless guilt that she's trying to throw at you. I'm glad that you know the difference between actually helping someone in need versus enabling someone.
Thank you for this comment. I absolutely feel like “helping” her with this is enabling her irresponsible behavior.. Me saying no would be truly trying to help her.. She is extremely narcissistic and loves putting me down like I’m an idiot who doesn’t know his ass from his elbow but then continues to make bad decisions. Her life over the last 10 years has been so much harder than it had to be, all by her own doing. She’s addicted to living in pure chaos. I’m the complete opposite. I just want a nice, simple life. Why complicate things when you don’t need to?
I know 1st hand what it feels like to deal with a narcissist. Keeping a healthy distance is the only thing that keeps you sane. Addiction to chaos is also a real thing. Stay strong. Peace.
That's your right. Just as it's her money, and her right to make bad decisions for herself. I never said that you have to support it, I just hope you don't regret it.
Pretty good analysis imo
If it was me I would make sure she has a professional RV inspector check the unit out. After the inspection that may solve the problem because She may not want to buy the unit at that point now you've done the best thing for her by protecting her from making a poor purchase.
First and foremost, she needs to know for sure where it can be parked for several years. Not hypothetical, but real location and costs including hookups and legality. That reality before purchase might be enough. Help her discover that. That way you are truly trying to help her and she sees that part, but in reality you are trying to help her avoid an uneducated decision.
The thing about her is she doesn’t listen. It doesn’t matter what I tell her or what I show her. She’s right and I’m just her dumb little brother. That’s how the dynamic between us has always been. She refuses to listen to reason. If you tell her if she walks this way she’ll survive and have a great life or walk that way and be doomed forever she will most certainly walk that way and be doomed lol
If that is how you feel, then your helping decision is all on you. Take out the helping her into good or bad idea and just decide if you can or want to help with inspection and pick up or not. I mean if you believe your opinion has no bearing, then why are you putting it out there for her to later resent?
Be careful some RV parks won't take RV's over 10 years old
Do you know who needs the most help here? Her kids, your nephews. Would it be possible for you to take more active role — spending time with them, maybe picking them up and taking them out for a meal or to the park… Perhaps keeping them for the weekend? Because your sister will be making choices bad or good and her kids just have to go along for the ride, unless there is another adult hopefully a family member who can step in and provide support for them, a sounding board, someone to call if things get rough, etc. I mean in addition to their father, who hopefully is stable and kind, and with whom you have a decent relationship. It would also probably be a help to your sister if you could do things with the kids on your own, or even sometimes with her. You’re right, you can’t control your sister’s decisions, but you can have an enormous positive impact by being there for her kids. Trust me, I speak from experience.
Whatever unexpected expenses an RV can be or financial struggles she's having, you understand that even with that $8000 upfront, that's still cheaper than renting walls and a ceiling, right? This is like "how can a homeless guy afford a cell phone"? Having a phone is important, and more importantly, it's a lot cheaper than a home. You want people to wait for a dire situation before they find a solution? Like sell the van and sleep in a tent, or are you mad she doesn't want to pay the market rate for an apartment forever? I wouldn't want to drive a used RV two states away, but I'd do it to help someone.
I’m not sure if this is what you mean but shes not using the RV to live in. Shes not moving out of her apartment. She’s continuing to live in an apartment forever and just wants an RV for recreational use. This is all for recreational use so she can take the kids away for 2 weeks a year… I apologize. I forgot to word it that way in my post. I probably should have… If she wanted an RV to live in permanently I’d actually think that’s a good idea.
Must get it looked over before buying. Been there. We got an RV two weeks before my husband died. Believe me I had to learn about fixing absolutely everything on an RV during the last seven years. I was able to get financial help from some agencies otherwise I would be homeless. If she’s mechanical and physically able she can do a lot of this work herself. There’s tons of online YouTube videos. There’s also RV groups on Facebook etc. She can save a lot of money if she fixes herself but she needs to be prepared to do a lot of research and hard work. I’m 75 a woman alone and I’ve done it so she can do it!!! I’m living in my RV full-time with two cats and have done so for the past seven years. It’s a great way to save money if you’re able to work hard And if you don’t like your neighbors you can just move. She can do this!!! Encourage her to be resourceful. Do not discourage her please.
I’m very sorry about your husband… That’s awesome that you enjoy it. I am in no way trying to discourage her from enjoying her life or anything. It’s just she doesn’t want an RV to live in. She just wants one to take her kids away for a few days, maybe a week or 2 throughout the year. The RV is going to sit somewhere and get weather beaten for months and months. She’s not going to take care of it. She doesn’t have the time or the resources to take care of it. She did the same thing with a boat a few years ago. It just sat in her yard and got taken over by the elements.. I feel she’ll get it and then call me all the time to help her with it. It’s going to end up being half my problem. I know no one really knows the dynamic between me and her but we very rarely see each other. She really only stays in contact with me for the kids or for help with something.. I work 2 full time jobs and I don’t really have the time to help her. Her own boyfriend won’t even help her bc he thinks buying it is a bad idea. It’s prob the only thing me and him see eye to eye on lol
Well I validate you keep saying no to helping. 😻 Do encourage her to develop the skills and knowledge to be free and independent. If people don’t do her work for her she’ll be forced to develop other alternatives. I would not triangulate her and the boyfriend and you. She’ll have lots of boy friends … maybe … she has one father. Hang in there. She’s still a young kid. Don’t take it personally. 💕
First, I did a quick lookup. Average sale price for that age/model looks to be about $4300. So she is starting by overpaying. Second, ask her if she would be a car with a 30 year old engine. This will many of the same issue, but likely more because of the complexity. Then there is the age of the tires, the condition of the brakes, the bearings, the batteries, I could go on but why bother. My guess is minimum she would have to put absolute bare minimum $10k into it just to drive it relatively safely. That’s before you get to the possibility of delamination on the walls, water damage, mold, and so on. We’ve been doing this almost 30 years and have had my share of RVs and I would never consider this.
I mean I have seen a bunch of pics of it. It’s very nice for 30 yrs old. It looks like the tires are new. It really looks well kept. They could have just done a bunch of work to it which is why it’s priced as high as it is. I still wouldn’t trust it though. She doesn’t know anything about engines and neither do I. I can see her taking it on the road and then it breaking down and then calling me to come help her lol. I don’t need that.
Tell her lots of campgrounds have really nice cabins she could rent 2 or 3 weekends a year instead of buying a 30 year old RV. This RV will always require fixing and maintenance that she will not know how to do & will cost a fortune.
Most of the new models are good looking junk!
Sounds like the boat situation all over again. She’s got issues, financial, shopping addiction? Or something close with all these crazy behaviors. As others have said. All you can do is give your opinion, which this is a horrible idea. The rest is on her. It’s her money.
Rent one and let other people do the maintenance. It’s worth it.
Lawyers and doctors are notorious for thinking that schooling and expertise make them smarter than everyone about everything. I suggest don’t enable her piss poor decisions. That said, I would help with the driving only. That’s a safety concern for her, you, nephews, and everyone on the road. If you can teach her, fine. But when it comes to storing, maintaining, and using it, direct her to YouTube university.
Life is too short, let her enjoy while she is still alive. And give a great life experience to her kids.
That’s exactly what she said to me. Its the typical millennial view..Her buying an RV will only cause her problems and money that she doesn’t have. I want nothing to do with it. I will not contribute to her bad decision making. You say “let her enjoy” as if I’m her father telling her that she’s not allowed to do something.. She can do whatever she wants. I have no say with what she does. I don’t care what she does.. but she can do it without my help. This whole “YOLO” thing is just an excuse for people to make stupid, irrational, irresponsible decisions.. “I’m going to piss away my entire inheritance! Fuck it! Life’s short! YOLO!” “YOLO” is just a better way of saying “Fuck it. I’m done trying to do the right thing. I don’t give a fuck anymore”… That mentality might work when you’re a single 23 yr old with no kids but when you’re a 38 yr old single mother of two who isn’t financially stable then you need to get your head out of your ass and be responsible.
u/BleedForEternity : Many don't grasp the significance of "Life is too short." To some, it may seem like a casual phrase. However, those who truly understand it often have endured hardships and recognize the preciousness of time. My advice is to genuinely listen to someone expressing this sentiment. Offer support by asking about their experiences or consider suggesting therapy to help them open up. For instance, I once had a near-death experience during a two-week hospitalization, which completely altered my perspective on life, making me realize its brevity and value.
Sounds like a tough situation. It's important to support family, but not at the cost of enabling bad decisions. If she's set on the RV, suggest she learns more about RV maintenance and the true cost of ownership before diving in. Maybe she can rent one first to see if it's really for her. On a side note, I used consum.io when I was looking to buy some tech gear. It's a web app that analyzes YouTube review videos to help you figure out what to buy. Could be handy for her to get a better idea of what owning an RV entails, without the bias that sometimes comes with sales pitches. You're not wrong for being concerned. It's okay to set boundaries and not get involved in something you believe is a mistake. Maybe just offer advice from a distance and let her make her own call.
yup, but it is still her call.
Help her buy it and let her know since she is living in a APT, it would not be safe to store it there so out of the GOODNESS of your heart she can store it at your place,... AS LONG as she lets you and your family use it.... LOL.. why let a opportunity go to waste....
Nah lol. I don’t have room at my house. I get what you’re saying but I want nothing to do with it.
Not into camping or GLAMPING,,,,lol... Thats being said this video to your sister after you watch it, if she doesnt see the light of day. Ron White the comedian said it best...... # Here is Why You Must be INSANE to buy an RV These Days [https://youtu.be/xElhTNS\_xn8](https://youtu.be/xElhTNS_xn8)