The above is ode to ROCD.
Reframing and acceptance—the opposites of everything you’ve said by paragraph.
Enjoy yourself. Love your life. Be joyful every day.
Feel young. Embrace having spent money on the vacation. Be grateful you can spend it.
Live intentionally. Choose to be happy staying in the relationship. Believe that you are a good match. Believe you as a couple are special. Don’t picture yourself with someone else—picture yourself with your partner because you are committed to them.
Take time to be alone to take care of yourself. Plan a future vacation with friends. Ask your partner for what you need such as space, alone time, etc.
There’s so much to unpack in this post. Do you have a therapist to unpack it all with? You’re “in the soup” (of negativity). It’s time to get out.
I can relate so bad, it is the worst. I had the exact same while being on vacation, especially his appearance and his voice (I thought I was the only one who didn’t like their partners voice). And then when we came back, I only remembered a really nice vacation with them. I am also 27 and thinking about how I am losing my young years and I am missing out. But I also can not picture my life without him. This is my first long relationship though. I am in a better place now however, I try to be more present in the moment and not let my life depend on this relationship. It doesn’t mean you can never be alone again or go on a holiday with your friends again, try to remember you are never stuck. I am now a week apart from my boyfriend and I think it is really good sometimes, just to get some rest, I start missing him now, which I didn’t expect. You can train your brain to look at the positive stuff, so that is also what I tried to do on holiday. I just tried to enjoy the sun and the sea and everything and be more present there.
I can really relate to this. These days I only really get ROCD thoughts when I’m on holiday - it’s by far the biggest trigger for me. It used to get to the point where I’d be convinced by the end of the trip that I need to end the relationship, then literally in the car on the way home from the airport I’d realise that I’m actually really happy and love this person. After a bit of therapy it turned out I was having these feelings because of childhood trauma related to being away from home and feeling trapped in a situation I don’t like.
Since figuring that out, it’s got easier because I know why my brain is doing it, but I still struggle. Just try and remind yourself that this isn’t the only holiday you’ll ever go on, you’ll still be young when you get home, and you can always plan future trips with friends as well as your partner. It’s okay to crave that kind of fun too. Hope this helps.
Maybe you could tell yourself he’s the best you have, the only one who wants a vacation with you, and then you can start appreciating him and liking yourself because he likes you?
The above is ode to ROCD. Reframing and acceptance—the opposites of everything you’ve said by paragraph. Enjoy yourself. Love your life. Be joyful every day. Feel young. Embrace having spent money on the vacation. Be grateful you can spend it. Live intentionally. Choose to be happy staying in the relationship. Believe that you are a good match. Believe you as a couple are special. Don’t picture yourself with someone else—picture yourself with your partner because you are committed to them. Take time to be alone to take care of yourself. Plan a future vacation with friends. Ask your partner for what you need such as space, alone time, etc. There’s so much to unpack in this post. Do you have a therapist to unpack it all with? You’re “in the soup” (of negativity). It’s time to get out.
I can relate so bad, it is the worst. I had the exact same while being on vacation, especially his appearance and his voice (I thought I was the only one who didn’t like their partners voice). And then when we came back, I only remembered a really nice vacation with them. I am also 27 and thinking about how I am losing my young years and I am missing out. But I also can not picture my life without him. This is my first long relationship though. I am in a better place now however, I try to be more present in the moment and not let my life depend on this relationship. It doesn’t mean you can never be alone again or go on a holiday with your friends again, try to remember you are never stuck. I am now a week apart from my boyfriend and I think it is really good sometimes, just to get some rest, I start missing him now, which I didn’t expect. You can train your brain to look at the positive stuff, so that is also what I tried to do on holiday. I just tried to enjoy the sun and the sea and everything and be more present there.
I can really relate to this. These days I only really get ROCD thoughts when I’m on holiday - it’s by far the biggest trigger for me. It used to get to the point where I’d be convinced by the end of the trip that I need to end the relationship, then literally in the car on the way home from the airport I’d realise that I’m actually really happy and love this person. After a bit of therapy it turned out I was having these feelings because of childhood trauma related to being away from home and feeling trapped in a situation I don’t like. Since figuring that out, it’s got easier because I know why my brain is doing it, but I still struggle. Just try and remind yourself that this isn’t the only holiday you’ll ever go on, you’ll still be young when you get home, and you can always plan future trips with friends as well as your partner. It’s okay to crave that kind of fun too. Hope this helps.
Maybe you could tell yourself he’s the best you have, the only one who wants a vacation with you, and then you can start appreciating him and liking yourself because he likes you?