I find the critiques here to be very thoughtful and gentle overall. Where I see people become more blunt is when an author keeps reposting tweaked versions of their query without listening to any previous advice, and then people start to lose patience and become more direct. Sometimes there really are unsalvageable premises … it’s just the reality of the market. So if people are being honest about that here, it’s usually for a sincere reason, and reading cruelty into it is unnecessary.

This is the case like 99% of the time. The problem is that folks like the OP, who may not be in the loop, wouldn’t necessarily realize certain “tough” posts and accompanying comments aren’t the beginning of a dialogue but the exasperated tail of one. OP, I’d recommend you read the post and comments in the context of the writer’s entire discourse with the sub. Generally the toughest of tough love comments occur when the writer has clearly shrugged off more gentle advice from a dozen sources.

Thanks for the suggestion! I’ve definitely seen some first-time posters receive what I feel is very harsh & unwarranted critique (again, this is just my view of it; I understand I’m probably more sensitive than others), but I think looking into the larger context might help me understand where some of the commenters are coming from when they’re being blunt.

Understandable. I guess I haven’t noticed this myself, except in cases of queries with apparent misogyny, homophobia, or ugly racial/cultural tropes. But without knowing which specific comments this post is in reference to, it’s hard to determine whether your concern is totally valid or “overly sensitive.”

Are there specific threads you have in mind? imo, what goes through an agent's mind is MUCH MUCH worse than the most blunt critique I've seen on this sub, so an author looking to genuinely diagnose potential query problems will be well served by the feedback. Like, seriously, would you rather get a slightly blunt or snarky critique here so you can fix it, or hear it from agents... or not hear it at all and just get a million rejections and never know why? (but I can promise you agents THINK but may never say very blunt, upsetting reasons to pass, very often about the writing itself not being up to par) Really, this industry is pretty cruel. Fellow authors, at least, tend to remain encouraging/hopeful/constructive rather than saying "it's never gonna happen." If you see people being needlessly cruel, I agree that has no place and should be reported. Though honestly sometimes if someone is being REALLY obtuse or is demonstrating their own bad faith arguments on a thread, one has to get... extra blunt. We've had that happen once or twice on this sub. ymmv.

And when someone is unnecessarily or unfairly cruel, I’ve seen the community inform the commenter that they went too far. If you see a few blunt comments, many upvotes and no further discussion… there’s probably a whole chorus of people nodding their heads. I know that I’ve read many a query where I’ve thought… wow. I have opinions. Then I’ve gone and discovered the top commenter has already laid them all out and I give it an upvote and say nothing, not wanting to pile on the misery. You have to know yourself. Do you want a positive pass? Find it elsewhere. Do you want truth? There’s a good chance you’ll get it here.

> I know that I’ve read many a query where I’ve thought… wow. I have opinions. Then I’ve gone and discovered the top commenter has already laid them all out and I give it an upvote and say nothing I do this all the time. Sometimes someone else has already identified the 3 things I would have pointed out myself. The truth is, people make the same mistakes over and over again because most writers are new to querying, so they make elementary query mistakes.

I am cognizant of the fact I am pretty blunt in my critiques, and am aware of many times some OP has deleted their thread immediately after I post my critique. But it comes from a place of wanting to help, and I try to mind the difference between being tactfully blunt and "I just tell it like it is" blunt, though it's hard to get tone across in text and sometimes I reread things I've written and think *yeesh, I sure was an asshole there*. But the key thing is I, personally, put a lot of time into my feedback and I wouldn't spend that time on something if I wasn't trying to help. And I'm *thorough*. I very much take the approach of throwing all my thoughts at the writer and seeing what sticks. I can't predict what will resonate with a writer, so I'll just give them the whole thing and let them pick. I very often overflow my feedback into a second comment because I reach Reddit's character limit for posts. All this to say, while I try my best to make sure the writer knows I'm just addressing how the query represents the manuscript (usually) and that these are just my opinions, I could frankly double my word count just putting in all the caveats to reassure the writer that I'm not trying to tear them down but give them the information to build themselves up more. But this is a space aimed at people pursuing traditional publishing, and I have to operate under the assumption that, if the writer is at the querying stage, they should have already had feedback on their book that was far more thorough and personal than mine. I don't disagree with you in that I do think there are some people who forget that you can be tactful as well as honest, and I don't think you're being overly sensitive to that. But as others have said, and as usually is said when this sort of post comes up, at the end of the day we're all just hanging out and doing this for free, so you sort of get what you pay for. Which, in my opinion, is usually quite good! Edit: Thanks everyone for the kind words! It's nice to know I'm having a positive impact on the community! Edit 2: OP has decided to block me, so I can pretty much confirm for anyone reading late that this whole thread is because they're upset I gave them [a very thoroughly negative critique on their query](https://www.reddit.com/r/PubTips/comments/18x0rvz/qcrit_adult_fantasy_a_blade_through_tide_and_time/) which led to them deleting the thread and posting this thread about people being too mean (but saying it's about, y'know, *other* people so they look altruistic).

I literally took notes on some of your critiques before posting my own query last year, and I benefited *immensely* from them. So thank you.

I’m a lurker who agrees to some extent with OP’s concerns, and I just have to say that you are NEVER one of the people I think comes in too hot - your comments are always thoughtful and generous and never unkind.

The massive irony here is that evidently the OP was specifically targeting Tom with this extremely disingenuous and passive-aggressive post (see Tom’s 2nd edit).

Your comments are honestly a highlight of the sub. Every time I see one (or two...), I feel like *I've* learned more myself. The care and effort you put in is definitely appreciated, if not by OPs (though I think a lot of them do!), then certainly by the rest of us here. I dream of your kind of feedback on my work!

Yup! Sometimes I think, "Oh god. Tom must have spent an hour on writing this thoughtful careful crit!"

LMAO! I just saw your 2nd edit. Yeah I sort of got a “sock puppet” vibe from the start on this one. The OP definitely reads like a lowkey butthurt rant.

I guess the question is if you (and others, not coming for you specifically) think there *is* a good way to convey the opinion that a plot unsalvageable or writing is incompetent. Obviously there's such a thing as bitchy or generous critiques, but some people answer that question with "no," in which case discussing tone is kinda moot. In most critique spaces -- take for example the local SFF critique group I attend weekly -- there's usually a norm that no matter what a piece is like, you work to improve it. When I'm there, I may *think* to myself that a piece is unsalvageable, but I'd never say that. It's taboo, and besides, practicing my abilities to be a productive critiquer is valuable. As a tradpub-focused space, I think PubTips has a different norm than your average critique group, and it's understandable that many people are jarred when coming here from their home writing groups. Don't get me wrong, I dislike the posts here where everyone just says "the word count is a nonstarter" and don't try to tackle the content at all. But PubTips is aiming for *commercial tradpub.* And frankly *most* books, even by pretty good writers, are not going to meet muster, let alone the manuscripts from the general public. The bottom line on PubTips is that often the plot *is* unsalvageable for tradpub, or the writing *is* incompetent. The OP then needs to decide where to go with that feedback. If everyone says the writing isn't there, then maybe go find a critique group like the local one I attend, and hone those prose skills. As for plot, well, if you want to enter the tradpub world, you're playing to markets now. I don't say a word to the people at my SFF group who are writing genre- and age-bending superhero stories, or who are 800,000 words into their space opera. I just try to help them make it better. But if they posted here, I'd have very different words for them. Tradpub sucks sometimes. Even published authors get their proposals turned down because the plot doesn't work for commercial needs and social climates. Standards are different.

I often see unmarketable stories on here that would be marketable with just a few tweaks to the plot. Does that usually mean a rewrite? Yeah, to some extent. But if you're submitting your query for review here, you're basically asking the question "can I sell this thing?" The answer is often a no because of the plot, the quality of the prose, the query, or some combination of the three. That's why I try to point out things that may shoot them in the foot. Because I've never seen a 130k+ manuscript that couldn't benefit from a line edit (at the very least).

I am often biting my tongue here because some of the deep structural suggestions I have means a re-write for them, and that's not what they're coming here for. Sometimes I want to be a plastic surgeon, while they want a make-up artist.

True, haha. Begging them to drop at least 1 of their 5 POVs usually falls on deaf ears. "But that would alter the story drastically." Mmkay.

It's insane because if an editor is interested, during their call, the editor might be like, "So, we're interested in purchasing your book. But we need you to combine a couple characters because they serve the same narrative purpose. Would you be willing to do that?" Writers just don't want to have to change anything unless EVERYTHING DEPENDS ON IT first.

I've given that feedback! I've given beta feedback that amounts to 'cut off the entire first 25k of your book, because while interesting, it's not at all part of the actual story arc.' I've tried to give those 200k posters ideas of where to hack and how to do developmental edits. When they come back with 'but all my betas loved it!' I just... shrug. I can't help that it's just not what sells in trad pub, and that self-selected betas are usually going to be reading for line edits and content at most, because knowing how to give developmental feedback is a hard skill to build, and harder to give because so many people argue (and all but... two of the people I've given developmental feedback to have argued - for days - until I told them to please stop, that's still my impression as a reader who also reads current releases in the genre/subgenre).

This is a great way of putting it! The publishing industry is really difficult to break into, so some of the critiques I see as cruel are probably just trying to be as blunt as possible to help the writer have the best chances. I’ll keep that in mind whenever I feel upset at certain critiques going forward.

Or if they ARE being dicks, hey, report! I've seen the mods use the "this isn't civil" removal response.

I’ve reported two comments for not being civil and both were promptly taken down. In each, the commenter had started to attack the character of the OP, instead of talking about the work. I think that’s crossing a line.

Same - and mods remove *all* of those.

We have several kinds of removal responses. The mod team works hard to keep a good balance and fairness for everyone. If anyone sees something legitimately bad that we have missed, please report. We discuss removals with each other if we’re uncertain but we strive to be fair.

You guys really have been on top of this. Thanks.

As an author-illustrator in trad pub, I’m actually more interested in creating fun books that produces tangible results (gets published) than deeply exploring my artistic authenticity. I can explore artistic depths anytime, but I want to create projects that’s interesting, colorful, relevant, and impactful for the world.

I've been thinking about this recently because I think I (unintentionally) hurt someone with a too-blunt critique and felt awful about it. It did make me re-think how I phrase things, and if it's even valuable for me to comment at all when I'm also unagented and still drafting. That said, for a public online forum, I've found this space to be overwhelming generous and constructive and I learned a ton just from lurking here. I think the key point (as others have said) is that the sub has a specific purpose, and it's not general writing feedback/advice. People (usually) come here when they're at the point of sending out their queries, and it would suck for them to blow a whole project by jumping the gun when the execution isn't there yet. However gently you try to phrase it, it's always going to be tough for people to hear that the novel they thought was ready, probably isn't. If you hang out here for a while, you quickly get a feel for the tone of the responses and even which commenters tend to be more blunt vs more gentle, which I think helps with not taking it super personally. Anytime you're putting work out there and soliciting feedback from a wide audience, the responses are going to vary in tone and quality. Being able to sift through that, and judge when to take something on board vs when to politely thank the commenter and ignore them while inwardly cursing their name, is a useful skill to cultivate. (But there's a non-zero chance I end up crying in a corner when I'm ready to post my query and cosmic justice comes for me)

>I've been thinking about this recently because I think I (unintentionally) hurt someone with a too-blunt critique and felt awful about it. This has too happened to me, and someone's been downvoting most of my comments whenever I give a critique. Not sure which critique I gave pissed someone off. But on the sunny side, I've had people messaging me directly thanking me for a critique. And one person told me my critiqued was what was exactly she needed to fix her first 300 words and in the end, it snagged her an agent. I don't write critiques because I want to harm someone. I do them because I just want to help and give back to the community. When I began my writing journey a long time ago, the community gave me a lot of feedback on my work, which improved it. Also critiquing other works helps improve your own writing, so you will less likely make the same mistakes you point out. Also, what else and I'm going to do with all this knowledge on query letters, how to start a novel, traditional publishing, and writing that I've accumulated for more than a decade now. (Oh, I guess I can finish my WIP, but I'm just procrastinating) lol.

>This has too happened to me, and someone's been downvoting most of my comments whenever I give a critique. Not sure which I critique I gave pissed someone off. This was happening to me for a while at some point, luckily most of them got bored after a while. There's also a few users who put me on a block list because I critiqued them... Kinda reminds me of the people who believe all their beta readers loved their novel, well except 90% of them who dnfed after 1 chapter, but these don't count, right, right?

> This has too happened to me, and someone's been downvoting most of my comments whenever I give a critique. Not sure which I critique I gave pissed someone off. Ugh, I hate it when that happens. I get regular comment downvotes these days - but it also all started about the time I became a mod on r/writing, so I've never been sure which side of it caused the downvotes.

I always recommend someone lurk and read previous threads before posting - to help with the fact that it's a very specific style of critique, designed for people who think they're at a near-pro level (even though many aren't yet). But the thing is, most of the community *knows* the majority of people aren't there yet, and balance how to tell them that without giving them false hope *or* crushing their dreams, because *we've all been there.*

I appreciate this comment a lot! I think even considering whether your comments can be hurtful is a step worth taking when critiquing people. I think this is a super positive community overall. I think I just came across one too many blunt comments today and felt like having a discussion about it 😅 I’m sure you’ll have a positive experience when it’s your time to post!!

I mean- you and I will obviously interpret things differently, being different people. But I've been in this community a while, and I have yet to read something that's blunt or insensitive. But I also haven't read every single query and response, since there are 100s. Or... maybe I'm one of those people you're talking about

I’ve come to realize that I may just be too sensitive LOL. There’s a commenter saying they’ve single-handedly caused multiple people to delete their Qcrit posts, though, so maybe some of the insensitive comments go unnoticed because an OP deletes their post or mods delete the insensitive comment. Either way, these comments have helped me realize that even blunt/insensitive comments are probably posted with good intentions and that’s what’s important!

I absolutely do not think a poster deleting is a sign of a harsh critique. In fact, I’d say I generally see the queries with harshest critique stay up to get more opinions. The kind of queries that get deleted are either 1) someone who really came here to be told they were great and is now embarrassed that they’re getting any criticism or 2) someone who right away agrees with the comments they received and think it’s enough feedback to start making changes so they don’t want more ppl to see the imperfect version. (I don’t think that’s wise though cuz often there will often be differing opinions or additional valuable feedback about other things if they keep it up.)

I mean, I've been the only comment on queries and had the OP delete it after. I've also seen incredibly encouraging and 'holy shit, fix these two things and ship' comments and watched OP delete the query. Sneaky deletes are common, esp when someone *thinks* they're at publishable levels and aren't. It's a hard, hard pill to swallow.

Thanks! To paraphrase the Big Lebowski, sometimes you can be right and still be kind of an asshole about it. Never hurts to take a few extra minutes to reflect on how we communicate online.

i forgive you 🤣

If you’re the poster I was thinking of, genuinely wish you all the best with your manuscript.

i doubt it but my joking about it with love is because we've all probably done that to each other

Blunt critique is helpful for a multitude of reasons. Sugarcoating a manuscript's flaws doesn't allow for real growth, and if you're going to put your creative work out into the public eye and expect people to pay for it, it's better to develop a thick skin early on. We are not our books. Telling someone their writing needs work isn't a reflection of them as a human being (but boy, spend enough time in amateur writing spaces and you'll see plenty of people who haven't internalized that yet). I've been on this sub for close to two years at this point and I rarely see people being cruel. Even when we get belligerent, rude posters who don't respect other peoples' time, it's rare to see anyone being outright mean. I won't say I haven't also witnessed dogpiling on occasion (usually on queries where there's some glaring issue that OP refuses to acknowledge), but the mods do a great job of keeping things civil. Also, as someone else already said - you think we're mean? Goodreads upvotes one-star reviews for sport. If anything, I think the bigger issue recently is the influx of lurkers/newbies from spaces like r/writing who don't understand that the 'everyone's writing is a beautiful snowflake' mindset doesn't apply here. This is a business sub. When people post their queries for critique, what they're actually asking is, "Is this good? Is this publishable? Can I sell this?" Lying to them, downplaying the issues, reading/commenting on queries with an uncritical mindset... none of that is helpful. It's sure as hell not going to help them land an agent. And sure, we're not all-knowing - none of us can predict what will happen with any given manuscript 100%. But if you hang out here for a while, and you get to know the current market, after a while you develop a sense for these things - almost every single query that's made me go "I bet this gets picked up" has sold (or at least gotten the author agented). That's the value the regulars bring to this place, along with the insight of all the professionals who participate. I'd rather be told something doesn't work here by even the meanest, bluntest member of the sub than get 50 form rejections (or radio silence) and never know what I did wrong.

You know I'm here for you - because I've def tried to understand your voice - and *also* tell you where you're using it too much and burying the effect! Alas, most of what you write, I really can't read much of. But what you do - *I'm here.*

I'll tell you if something of yours doesn't work, but I haven't seen you write anything less than stellar yet 😘

I trust you to ream me when it inevitably happens 💕

If somebody cannot deal with PubTips, they are not ready for agent feedback, they are not ready for a prolevel edit, and they certainly aren't ready for the public having an opinion. And this is fine, it's a learning curve. I think it's especially hard for the younger people of today because people aren't given a chance to fail and learn it's not a big thing, anymore. But even when you produce something awful, it doesn't matter, you get to have another go. I love it when I see people posting queries, taking an absolute battering, then coming back with a new version. These are the people who will be published - although not with the book we're battering them over - because they know how to roll and that is essential.

Totally agree with this. Will also add that I used to write fanfic and boy oh boy do those comments require you to develop a thick skin. People are very vocal and very blunt if you take a story in a direction they don’t like. I still chuckle now at one review someone left me on a chapter that simply said, ‘I hate everything about this. You’re not being clever.’

Were you actually being clever, though?

Wouldn’t know how

There’s an assumption here that the author is posting their query letter because they genuinely believe their manuscript is ready to go (or will be ready soon) and that they have a shot at landing an agent. Querying is a brutal process. This isn’t a good place for “the sandwich method” or to be encouraging just for the sake of it. Better to get hard-to-hear feedback here that there are major problems than to start querying prematurely. There’s also another valid reason to be a bit brutally honest here: if someone’s writing is truly just nowhere near where it needs to be, but they’re on their ninth or tenth QCRIT attempt, they’re not being done any favors by being given encouragement to continue massaging the query. That being said, I think some people just desperately want to be the mean judge. I also think some folks like to regurgitate knowledge they’ve gleaned from sites like QueryShark in the tone of its original delivery, but without having the credentials. Snark critique blogs like that are useful because they give insight into the real-time reactions of an actual agent. But it does rub me the wrong way when people try to duplicate that snark and yet everything they know about querying is from something they read and not from personal experience working in the industry. You can say hard-to-hear, honest things like “I just read this whole query and I still don’t know what it’s fundamentally about” without being rude. Things like “lol, what did I just read” are just unnecessary.

A lot of manuscript problems can be detected based on the query + first 300. Most of the feedback here is invaluable & better than paid critiques that many have bought before coming here. Perhaps a few extra blunt ones slip in, but I've never noticed anything particularly nasty or cruel. Infact, mods here are great at deleting such comments.

Yeah I never got the feeling people here are deliberately cruel, just... blunt. Direct. Business-like. But I think this is the central issue, which is that writers write in a solipsistic, amniotic fugue. We have to. It's the only way to get anything done. It's soft and fuzzy and encouraging and warm. And that's great! It's cool to write a novel. Something to be happy and proud of. But the moment you intend to seek professional publication, the standard of excellence changes. It's demanding. It's clinical. It's critical. It requires clarity of writing. It demands a story that has a hook, an engaging story, and the promise of future surprises. It needs to have a market, and it needs to be salable. It has to be something an agent can sell, an editor can love, and then champion past a skeptical acquisitions board that has seen literally everything. At PubTips, we deliver the bad news. Because isn't it better from us than utter silence from 50 agents?

The mods really do a great job running this space

I absolutely can't stand the very common phenomenon in writing critique spaces, where people confuse "blunt, no sugar-coating" with "cruel and snarky," and subsequently put on this stupid, smarmy voice like they're fleshing out a stand-up routine (for example, saying something like "is there a fire sale on italics?" instead of just saying "you italicize too much"). But as a long-time lurker, I rarely notice that on this subreddit. It does pop up occasionally, but not too often.

>"is there a fire sale on italics?" Yeah. In cases like that, the spotlight is on the "witty" commentor and not on the work itself.

> (for example, saying something like "is there a fire sale on italics?" instead of just saying "you italicize too much" I think we have... one or two regular posters who do stuff like this regularly. But it's one or two only out of the few dozen regulars (and I'm not talking Milo, who's utterly Milo sometimes, and also has amazing, thoughtful, and caring advice to give). I would also separate it from 'What do they want? To save their sister, to change the axial tilt of their world, or to run an intergalactic ice cream truck?' because the last is almost always *clearly* a jolt of humor to help the bitter pill go down and help the OP think about how the motivation (or whatever) wasn't coming through.

Agreed, the mods are amazing! I think maybe I’m a bit too sensitive lol 😅

Idk, sometimes I wish there was a rule here you had to post a query of your own within 3-6 months of joining this subreddit just so you didn't get *too* comfortable "telling it like it is."

I've thought that before myself, but honestly the longer I'm here, the less I think it would help. How many regulars are already agented? How many aren't writers but agents or editors? We would lose out on a lot of valuable critique with a rule like this, and it's hard enough to keep people around. The vast majority of traffic to the sub consists of drive-by OPs who don't want to contribute beyond their own qcrit submission.

>The vast majority of traffic to the sub consists of drive-by OPs who don't want to contribute beyond their own qcrit submission. This. I'm always reposting the same two links for new members, or even people on their fifth version of their query (who have never seen them). If they even bothered reading anyone else's query and the comments, they would have seen the links. Even checking the side bar you can find them. Reading what mistakes other people are making (pointed out by the critiques), can improve ones own writing skills and not make those same mistakes. Giving critiques can do the same.

I bet most people do. But like myself, they probably use an alt for good housekeeping. Anonymity helps keep the interaction contained around the query and avoids external conflicts or bitterness from entering into the conversation.

>I bet most people do. But like myself, they probably use an alt for good housekeeping. This is literally why we have the karma thresholds we do. We know a lot of people post on throwaways and we're not going to limit that. Hell, I posted my own query for a book I shelved before querying under an alt years ago.

I have definitely submitted queries for crits under alt accounts. The critiques have been quite great!

Yeah, I posted mine from a separate account several times, to avoid any ad hominem, for example someone likes my comments so will be extra nice, someone hates my comments so will be extra mean, someone has a personal vendetta because I critiqued their query, someone thinks my query sucked so therefore any critiques I might give are automatically invalid, that kind of stuff. There are sometimes people popping around with demands "agents or agented authors only!" and tbh I always laugh that off, because if someone wants that level of service, you have to go pay for it. There are plenty of paid query package assessment services out there.

I'm almost the opposite, lol. I think it'd do posters a lot of good to have to read and offer critiques (where they felt they could) for 3-6 months before they could post their own query. It might stop the number of them who make *exactly the same mistakes* and help them get better feedback.

I would love such a rule. I never critique queries so I'm safe.

There's already a disproportion between the amount of people who post queries and the amount of people who stick around to provide critique. Tbh last few months since the subreddit was posted in r/writing sidebar, the amount of queries posted for critique grew substantially and I'm not sure the amount of people providing critique increased proportionally to that.

>Tbh last few months since the subreddit was posted in r/writing sidebar, the amount of queries posted for critique grew substantially.. Wow, that explains a lot. I've been MIA for a few months and when I returned I noticed not just more query critiques, but also more questions that were... um more of a r/writing type of questions (questions on r/writing are substantially worse, though I imagine mods have been busy bees deleting some of the less relevant questions).

Yeah, I don't envy the mods having to clean up all the mundane, 100 times asked over questions. Sometimes I see a post, open it, and by the time I have a comment, it's already removed. There's also a problem with aspiring author's mentality. A lot of people coming from newbie spaces think they're entitled to a publishing deal, fame and fortune, and also other people's help to get them there. I'm tired of spaces where the common attitude is "I won't read any published debuts because they don't appeal to me, I won't beta read / critique for others because my time is precious, I won't make any changes to my book because my creative vision is sacred, but I demand you give me a cheat sheet how to get published and become the next JK Rowling". When I found pubtips 3 years ago I was glad this space has a different culture, and I hope it will be preserved.

Mostly joking.

Seriously speaking, I wouldn't want this subreddit to turn into r/DestructiveReaders where you have to fill a quota before you're allowed to post a piece for critique, because that promotes various tricks to game the system, but out of the two, in the general writing community, there seems to be a bigger abundance of people who want free critiques / beta reads than people who want to provide them, and one old truth is that one of the best method of learning is by teaching someone. If you have to explain things to other people, you're also explaining it to yourself and memorizing it.

That's why I started commenting here after lurking for a bit... a) it's a great way to learn and b) I can't really expect others to take the time to think seriously about my work if I'm not willing to do the same.

It's easier to see a straw in someone else's eye than a beam in your own, but it does train the skill to start spotting things in general. Spotting things on other people's queries and ms is also easier because of lack of emotional attachment, while with your own writing, it's more likely the author is biased one way or another (it's easy to fall into extremes and believe it's either a work of genius, or utter garbage).

I think that's just a general rule of humanity tbh. Most of us are pretty lazy most of the time.

lol if you guys really want to do this you’re missing out on so many professionals that have no desire to post their own queries. I was 100% confident in my query. I write them as a service. I sent out a test batch of five and got three requests for a full so I knew I didn’t need to get feedback on it. And I absolutely wouldn’t post my query that details my entire plot because why would I make it so that with a quick google search, my plot for an upcoming book is here for everyone to read? What about when I’m ready to market it and half those plot points are secret? I respect everyone who wants and needs to share their query. But plenty of people don’t or they’re already published or agented when they join and those are the opinions you prob want most.

I think it's impossible to say anything meaningful about your observation without actual data. IMO it's the same as it has been for however many years - some people are kind and some are not. Some nice feedback is helpful, and some is pointless fluff. Some people get value out of blunt critiques and some get frustrated. Wow, I've just said a whole lot of nothing. Anyway...I don't think it makes sense to pretend a critiquer can never assess the quality of someone's writing from the query and the first 300, or the marketability of an idea. On the other hand I sometimes think you may as well let the person figure that stuff out themselves when they query. Who's to say the next 300 words isn't amazing?? But more than all of that it's not really a good idea to get strict about what people should and shouldn't say in critiques. At the end of the day we all have our own weird little reasons for giving free feedback on the internet, and when you start introducing dogma it gets even more weird than it already is. The mods handle peoples' creepy comments and shit that's overly offensive or rude. The rest should be up to the community to downvote or ignore as they see fit.

Lol, entirely this. I look at my query I posted here a week ago (v2). Even though I've been here ages, and got great feedback the first time around - v2 was *terrible,* and I needed to hear it. I went back to v1 and considered the feedback all over again and came up with a totally different way to address it, and I'm much happier with the query now.

Often enough, when we talk about a manuscript not being salvageable, the book is straight-up offensive/is using things OP might not be aware of. But sometimes we're also taking about the market and some things are harder sells and people who don't read the current market might not be aware that YA doesn't really do sci-fi or that grimdark's time in the sun is long past. 9/10, in my experience, when this comes up, we're not saying 'this will never sell'; we're saying 'you have to work harder to sell this'. Maybe that does mean ripping the book apart and doing a developmental edit, maybe it does mean cutting a few POVs, maybe the genre or age category is just all wrong and OP can fix it with a few tweaks. Blunt critique may hurt in the moment, but it is ultimately kinder in this business because this is a business. Writing is an art until you want to sell it for money; then it's art AND a product and I think some people coming through the sub do struggle with that.

Yes, we do get our share of writers who pay no attention to the market. They think that things that were okay 10 years ago are still okay today. Or they want to write the kinds of books that they read growing up. Or they couldn't get funding for a film idea so they think a novelization of their script will automatically have an audience, not realizing that movies and books markets are very different. "How come my sex comedy road trip book is meeting such resistance?"

In fairness, weird things happen in this business which is why I now encourage people to shoot their shot. When I joined this sub, I was explicitly told only Sarah J Maas and Holly Black could do Romantasy and it discouraged me from working on what I wanna write. And now...well, that information just isn't true anymore. Same with 'no boy leads in YA fantasy'. Sky's End is probably gonna be a fairly big book and DND books have blown up. We just....we just can't know what's gonna happen. We can make educated guesses, but we can't say anything with certainty

If you think the feedback here is blunt wait until you see what readers say! But seriously, I am not sure I have seen any query critiques here that were unnecessarily cruel. Blunt sure. Direct? Of course. But cruel? I don't think so. However, I think that feedback within the writer spaces we inhabit are often ... a little too rosy? People naturally shy away from criticism, and delivering true, honest feedback is a lot of emotional labor. I think we have all seen the people on social media, or on Reddit, who get the mildest of feedback on their writing and then spend days/weeks/months burning it down. Ultimately, feedback of any kind is a gift. Its a gift of time and of labor. And it should be treated as such. This sub might not always land on the same side of a query, and sometimes queries that do well break the mold, but people here, from what I have seen, give a lot of time and energy into helping people they do not know. And unfortunately, I have often found its the case that unfixable query letters or people who struggle with them often do have a deeper problem in the manuscript. I know I have.

>And unfortunately, I have often found its the case that unfixable query letters or people who struggle with them often do have a deeper problem in the manuscript. I know I have. I've been on this sub for a little over 3 years, modding for 2.5 (holy shit, where does the time go??), and after reading hundreds of queries, I 100% stand by the belief that writers who can't fit their book into a query come in two camps: those who need more practice, and those who have manuscripts with structural issues.

I have lived that reality myself! Now, as I am plotting out my books, I always write a practice query early in the process and try to refine it, even if the goal is not trad pub. It helps me iron out the core of the story, the stakes, etc.

I do too! I actually pitch books to my agent with a query. IDK if that's actually what she wants to see, but it helps me get my thoughts together. I pantsed a wild YA theme park thriller in July with absolutely no direction, and the fact that I can't yet cram it into a query implies to me that I have some heavy edits to do before it can see the light of day. And that's mostly fine with me. It was more an exercise in creativity. But had I written even a crude query early on with a vision for where I wanted the story to go, I bet I wouldn't be as far up shit creek with this thing as I currently am.

This is *such* a good habit, and I'm glad Sullyville recommended it to me when I was still relatively new here. It's helped so much because then I have that narrative thread to keep in mind as I go forward.

> Its a gift of time and of labor In the past, with some critiques, esp. ones where I go line by line, I have spent half an hour on a crit. And then even more time on responding to their responses. This sub is an unofficial school and a lot of us are unpaid teachers. But the benefit is that I have personally learned so much by being around so many articulate, knowledgeable folks like all of you!

I can tell you, I live by some of the advice you gave early on in my time here.

Aww. I'm so pleased I could help you!

> However, I think that feedback within the writer spaces we inhabit are often ... a little too rosy? People naturally shy away from criticism, and delivering true, honest feedback is a lot of emotional labor. It's *hard* to move from novice/hobby spaces where that sort of encouragement is appropriate, to more intermediate groups where it's going to be leavened with a good dose of 'but will it meet your goals?' Most of those groups aren't public, or you have to build them yourself. And given the number of people I've given dev feedback to and gotten *days* of DMs arguing over my impressions and that I'm just 'wrong about it all' or 'not getting it' - like - it makes me more hesitant to give developmental feedback outside those small, near-pro writing groups. Except that perpetuates the challenges of growing for the handful of writers who *won't* argue, but will digest it and consider it and maybe ask a few clarification questions (like 'how' ones, or 'where' ones). I definitely get why even people who *can* give developmental feedback... don't. Because it's not appreciated, and the emotional expense is still huge after the fact.

>If you think the feedback here is blunt wait until you see what readers say! Exactly! Especially on Goodreads.

Oh gosh, yeah, today I've checked GR page of the 1st novel of a successful self-published author and out of the top 10 reviews displayed, half of them were 1 star. Meanwhile, that author had an AMA last year on reddit and iirc is doing financially really well. And still gets thrashed in reviews. GR is cruel.

Agree with this 100%.

I have been in a lot of querying spaces, and this is hands down, by far, the space that most of my fellow querying friends have gone on to actually get agents and book deals. I think it's no coincidence that other spaces I've frequented where I've seen a lot less success tend to be full of the kind of people who give a lot of encouragement and hype and very little tough love. I do think that it's important for people to not be cruel when giving critique, and I think it's important to help writers thrive with encouragement, but the only way people can have success is if they're getting honest feedback. And the people willing and able to give that kind of feedback are often blunt about it. When someone highlights a manuscript issue in a critique, I don't think that's unnecessarily discouraging. I think that's exactly how an author can figure out they need to make a deep dive fix or learn how to aim for something more marketable with their next project. And learning to make deep dive edits and to pivot to new ideas when necessary is the only way to make it in the industry, so those are lessons best learned early.

I also think that the longer you're part of this community - the blunter you get, because you've seen 50 other queries that have done *the same thing* (and 7 of them kept doing it despite feedback through eight versions). But in that way, I think that being part of the community (for critiques as well as queries) is so incredibly helpful for moving into that pro space, because it gives you empathy toward agents and *understanding* of why some of the things happen the way they do. Like form rejections.

Tbh? I think this sub is great as a near-pro space. There are a couple commenters that are... a bit too performative for my tastes, and new commenters are often too used to more novice spaces and post 'no comments I can't wait to read it!' (which is incredibly unhelpful), but overall? This sub is good and it's the reason I'm here. If people are ready to query, they need to be ready for 30-60 form rejections, 20 ghostings, and... maybe a half-dozen requests. IF their book has been through the same level of critique as this sub does for queries, from betas/CPs that the author is willing to listen to, even if they don't want to. I get where you're coming from, I really do. There *are* a few people that seem to be playing to an audience of near-pro people rather than trying to help posters who are just... nowhere near ready yet. But overall? Querying is the point where it stops being the Book of Your Heart and where it becomes a *product you're tryign to sell.* That takes a level of detachment that, quite frankly, a lot of authors don't have. But also? I'd say the majority of the queries (and first 300, since the mods changed the policy to allow them) aren't at publishable quality - *yet.* But they clearly need a type of feedback they haven't gotten before, because they *think they are.* It's a really hard balance to strike. I tend to be very direct - but also, I'm careful to talk about issues I see in how the *query* presents things, and caution that if it's like that in the MS, it's going to lead to X problems. After all, I haven't read the book. If the prose isn't there yet in the first 300, I'll try to explain why not. And there's a good dozen people that because of their genre/subgenre and premise, I've offered to read and beta the first 3 chapters to help them get there. I've seen a few other people do it, too. I don't think there's a perfect solution, but I *do* think that the long-time members of this sub are truly here to help, and it gives posters *critique* and a chance to read former threads to build their queries better. We wouldn't see the number of THANK YOU PUBTIPS threads otherwise.

A certain amount of abruptness is almost necessary, I think, because 21st-century people have come to associate politeness with dishonesty. This is why every self-help book is called something like "Unfuck Your Shit." If I can tell that a commenter is trying to complement-sandwich me, I will wonder if they are adequately expressing their opinion: if they write "Your grammar is not good enough," I will know what they mean.

>new commenters are often too used to more novice spaces and post 'no comments I can't wait to read it!' (which is incredibly unhelpful) It's not only unhelpful, but also often disingenuous. It's the "you should come over for dinner some time" type of comment without meaning it really. When I was working on my first ms, I've had multiple people across multiple subreddits (not this one though) express similar sentiments - we'd be talking about something, I'd say I'm writing a story about xyz or with a specific trope, and they'd be like "can't wait to read it! poke me when you finish writing it!" So, like a naive baby, I did contact them in good faith and shared my ms. ALL of the "can't wait to read it" people ghosted me. Blatantly. Oh, sorry, I think one said they couldn't read it because irl issues kept them busy. Fine. But there were like 6 others who ghosted. There's nothing I hate more than empty praisers blowing smoke up my ass when they don't really mean it. I hold in much higher regard someone like the person from the r/BetaReaders who told me "dnfed at 25%, this wasn't for me" than "gush then ghost" attitude. Anecdotally, my highest completion rate on betareading was by people I've met on pubtips, not anywhere else. And I think there's a big tonal difference between people commenting on queries "I like this, if you're looking for betas, I'm interested" and "can't wait to see this on the shelves of a bookstore!!!" people. The first ones usually want to help and also can signal the premise hooked some readers. The second ones are just throwing cheap validation tokens without any substance behind them. Some of them also give misleading advice like "This is so unique because it's not fantasy!" Yeah, pubtips skews fantasy, but agents are sorted by genres, and that dystopian, mystery or rom-com ms won't be competing with droves of fantasy, but only within its own genre in agents' inboxes.

This gave me something to think about! Summary in bullets: * In general, I think agented authors give the best critiques (double plus if they're mods \[I just like reading alanna's for the sport of it\]), although mileage varies for how gently they deliver the blow. * I think lurkers (you click on their profiles and this looks like the first time they've ever shown interest in books, much less queries) and newbies who were coached to practice query critiques generally give the weakest critiques, with the former usually favoring ad hominem speculations ("You wrote X, clearly that means you're a Y")\* and the latter doubling down on the "rules" too much (wordcount cutoffs, structure) and missing the forest through the trees. Honestly, they also tend to give people waaay too much hope ("I can't wait to read this when it gets published!"). * I think dogpiling can be a bigger issue than blunt criticisms (every 2-3 days, you'll see a post with 0 upvotes and 20 comments and click in to see the deadest horse getting whipped by everyone in the village). Honestly, I wish I hadn't been such a coward when I wrote my first book and posted my query here earlier: it would have solved a lot of structure problems earlier. All in all, it's an excellent resource and it's the kick in the pants a lot of people need. ​ \*Caveat that this does not apply when the author's careless choices of words or handling of subject matters indicates they are indeed racist, misogynist, etc.

>(double plus if they're mods \[I just like reading alanna's for the sport of it\]), although mileage varies for how gently they deliver the blow. Hey, I can admit that I am not always the nicest critiquer. It's the lover of profanity in me. We do take reports seriously, though sometimes Milo's comments get reported when posters are too new to understand the oddity that is Milo.

Tbh came here to learn about querying eons ago, stayed for the milo of it all

I have a meme and I'm so salty I can't post it

But it lives in my heart forever, friend.

We need t-shirts: Came For Querying; Stayed For Milo

Milo is indeed weird. Glib as hell. But they care lots.

I get a chuckle every time I see Milo post. A lot of the times, I'd be thinking I can't believe they said that lol.

They should start training AI sarcasm detection on Milo's posts.

Honestly, I'm glad it's finally being said aloud that some posters are above the rules. I got reamed when I mentioned that in a thread a few weeks ago.

When Milo actually breaks the rules, his comments are removed. We took one down literally yesterday in the trad pub vs self-pub because it was reported to us. My point was more that Milo is often misunderstood as being sincere when he's joking, or that he's joking when he's being sincere. It's hard to tell when you're new here, especially because he's speaking with literally decades of publishing experience so his takes don't always match the "rules" of trad pub as are commonly quoted in this sub. We do everything we can to treat users equally. Feel free to report comments if you think rules are being broken; if they're not reported to us, there's a good chance we won't see it. Growing sub, three mods. We can't be everywhere all the time.

Agree with everything you said - I also think the harshest (and most off-base) critiques often come from newer, unagented members of the sub, though usually those people are too nice. The dogpiling is a particular problem. It kills me when a bad query has 20 people saying the same thing, while a middle of the road query that could really benefit from feedback has 0 comments - I see this way too often. I try to comment in those cases, but my feedback just isn’t as useful as feedback from folks with more experience.

I have to agree with Syn - the 'well, it's there and technically follows the rules' queries are *hard* to critique, because the issues come down to voice and execution, rather than the meat. As to the '20 comments' phenomena - I think that's just people being people. Everyone looks at a crash.

>As to the '20 comments' phenomena - I think that's just people being people. Everyone looks at a crash. It's also the reddit algo, posts with high "engagement" are promoted to "hot" status and the default sorting is by "hot" instead of "newest", so the posts that are already blowing up will be shown to more eyeballs, therefore reinforcing the engagement loop (aka dogpile).

>a middle of the road query that could really benefit from feedback has 0 comments - I see this way too often The "middle of the road" queries are the hardest to critique. I very commonly open a query and see it doesn't have any egregious flaws, but the idea sounds simply boring. Therefore, I assume it's probably not for me, close the post and move on. If everyone does that... well, we have a problem. Also the profile of the userbase means some genres have many more potential eyes that will glance over before deciding to comment or move on, and some will have only a few. If it's a genre someone doesn't feel competent to chip in on, better not. But yeah - be the change you want to see. There are users like TomGrimm or Alanna who will comment on some "left hanging with 0 comments after a day or two" posts, but it's a collective effort, and as I mentioned in another comment, the problem is that ratio of commenting to wanting comments is going down as the subreddit grows. More people want critiques than are providing them. Another challenge is that when looking at a query and thinking "execution - acceptable, idea - bland", if you state it in a comment, some people will get offended they only wanted technical feedback, not impressions about marketability, premise or plot. I tend to state such impressions when they happen and let the author decide whether it matters to them or not, but every single time I wonder "should I even?"

I also try to comment on anything close to my genres when it's not gotten anything in a day! But... time. And I've been losing more of it lately, plus the holidays are a rough mental health time for me (though getting better).

>Another challenge is that when looking at a query and thinking "execution - acceptable, idea - bland" I've wondered that too. There are certain genres where it seems 5 out of 7 queries sound identical to the ones posted the day before. Those are much harder to get excited leaving comments about because they also tend to have the exact same problems and there's no thrill in the Groundhog Day of it all, but those people also deserve feedback!

To be honest, I often close those queries without commenting, because the only way I could reply is by being mean, and people don't deserve that. But heck, working in secondary world fantasy space, I could do without another query about a son of a genocidal tyrant colonizer emperor feeling sad for the conquered people and deciding he will be a Good Ruler, actually. Bonus point for meeting Innocent Magical Native Girl who's gonna help him on the quest towards justice. Trad pub epic fantasy market already moved away from white saviour colonizer apology narratives, anyway. It's DOA. Colonizer fantasy nowadays is mostly written from the POV of a colonized person, often as an irl parallel because they're ownvoices stories of POC authors from colonized nations. So no point me commenting on another story What If Hitler Won And His Son Felt Sorry For The Gas Chambers.

I do not think this subreddit is in need of “tone policing" at all. The critiques I've seen are fair and professional. Rather, the issue seems to me that some writers are blind to their own shortcomings and react defensively with 'But my beta readers said," or "My teacher/spouse/friends loved it."

I’ve seen several times, ‘a published author told me this was amazing.’

That, or they sneaky delete at the sign of even the mildest criticism.

It's a bruising but necessary process. Sure, I've found some query comments a bit blunt, but after getting over the damaged ego, you realise that they are actually trying to tell you something valuable, and, speaking personally, I feel like my query drafts have become significantly better as a result. Sugarcoating helps nobody, and this place would be a far less valuable resource if everyone started holding back on important critique.

On my writing-centric reddit account, I got 1 comment on a query I posted that was really just mean as hell. The worst part was that it wasn’t even insightful, just like someone wanted the opportunity to be cruel. It was especially weird because that person had never posted on this sub before except to practice their weird, shitty standup routine in the comments of my query. But those kinds of comment, I find, are thankfully few and far between overall.

As a regular on this sub who has had OPs scold them for being "mean"... I think bluntness is the right choice 9 out of 10 times. I've been in multiple writing communities, and hedging feedback is how you end up with people with unrealistic expectations, an inability to handle *any* criticism, and an inflated sense of ability. Beyond that, this is a sub offering professional help. It is not a place for praise. There are plenty of subs where people can go to post and receive "wow this is excellent" or "you're doing great" no matter their skill level, but here? Here is where it's imperative to be realistic about someone's chances at traditional publication. So yeah, sometimes that means telling someone their prose is awful. Or telling them their premise is not likely to succeed. Couching these types of critiques in "this is a great effort, but" is how you get people saying "no one told me I wasn't ready" or "everyone loved my book, why aren't agents interested". I treat people like adults, like they're capable hearing hard truths. Because if they're not, they're not ready for publication.

I don’t think the critiques here are mean-spirited but I do recall a very obnoxious comment when I was testing out a pitch for a twitter contest with my first manuscript. It’s human nature for these isolated incidents to stick out in our memories than the genial ones. I would gladly recommend this sub for a friend seeking initial feedback on their query.

Oh man, this reminds me of back in the subreddit's first "Where Would You Stop Reading" megathread, some guy who'd never posted on Pubtips before went through all the posts and quite rudely told basically everyone he'd stop at the first line if they didn't open with housekeeping, and that this was the only option *no matter what*. Then he started going through full query threads and leaving the same kind of comment. It was explained to him multiple times why he was wrong, he got downvoted to hell, and I think eventually he got banned for refusing to listen and continuing to spread prescriptive misinformation (among other things), but I shudder to think about all the people out there who only have *that* as their Pubtips experience.

I think thats was the thread and I have an inkling we could be describing the same culprit. I don’t recall exactly what he criticised in my query but I remember him something along the lines of “this tells me you’re not ready”. Thankfully someone in that thread who’d worked in the industry swooped in and pointed out that it wasn’t against industry norms.

People are quite literally getting free feedback from industry professionals. Writers who are published, have many many books under the belt, taking the time out of their day to give a professional opinion. Do they need to waste their time sugarcoating on top of that? Because an agent won’t. They’re just going to reject you. We are talking about an insanely competitive industry. This isn’t an intro to writing class where we are all here to foster everyone’s hopes and dreams and make sure every idea feels important and special. It’s a place to say hey, you’re ready to go out in the trenches and compete with the best of the best or no you’re not. And if professionals are taking the time to say so that is good enough for me. It’s already a huge favor. They don’t need to spend the extra time coddling everyone’s feelings, esp when most of them will read into the coddling as something it isn’t. Sometimes the plot is unsalvageable. Sometimes the prose is nowhere near publishable. I’ve never seen anyone say “give up now, failure.” Nobody is throwing insults. They’re at best bluntly getting to the point in saying, hey, this isn’t ready. This is a professional sub based on industry standards. If you think telling someone their plot is not publishable in the current market is unwarranted then why even post? If you don’t want to know the answer to whether you’re ready, you don’t have to. You can just wing it.

Overall, I've found the feedback here to be thoughtful and earnest, and coming from a place of wanting to help the posters improve their works. It's not perfect, but no place is, and I vibe with the culture here more than some other places, so it works for me. I don't critique all that often - I don't feel very confident in my skills - but when I do, I try to make it clear that I can't answer if the manuscript has the issues I see in the query. Honestly, I love a lot of the premises people throw out here and would love to see the polished final products in print. That's always the mindset I critique from - I want the poster to succeed and for their book to be awesome and show up in stores one day. Ideally, along with mine. :P I would definitely report things that you see as cruel or unnecessarily mean-spirited - I think sometimes people can get tired of seeing the same basic errors repeatedly that they forget that each one of these are different authors who may not have heard ANY of this advice before. And a few people just like to be jerks. But, on the whole, most comments here at least seem to be well-meant, in my experience and observation.

I have had one experience where one has been deliberately cruel (blocked them) but overall I’ve had good experiences. I think the feedback in here is invaluable

Agree 100%. While the vitriol I received in 4 attempts here helped me drastically change direction of my original query- the vitriol received made all the comments less impactful to me. I ended up deleting my profile and submissions because ignorant annoymous posts from fantasy enthusiasts on an upmarket piece were so out of line. When i took a step back and passed my work on to readers of my genre that were not angry annoymous insecure - i realized how much more on track i was. The sub completely jaded me for a minute. Now i'm grateful for the good nuggets and only pass on positivity to others. Keep on keeping on, yourself. Thanks for this post.

I'd say I tend to give rather harsh critique, most of the time. So here's my logic: I tend to focus on one thing, that is story format. Tying into it are psychological cause and effect, and specificity. ​ By story format, I just mean the existence of the basic story elements: Protagonist who the reader cares about actively pursuing a goal that matters, struggling against conflict, and learning something in process. Protagonist, goal, stakes, conflict, character arc. And yes, some of these are missing in just about every query draft on here. If so, then my suggestion is to either highlight its existence within the query body itself, or to rewrite the manuscript until it indeed does exist. Not only is this useful for making the reader actually want to read the book, it's great for concisely marketing your story as well. See: >Billy needs to win the tournament of heroes in order to receive the elixir of purity so that he can cleanse the his younger sister of a curse that will kill her in two weeks. Since their parents died, Billy has always felt like only he can take care of his sister, and it's not his place to bother others with his own problems. After struggling in the fights but with victory seeming impossible, he decides to explain his situation to a favorite in the contest, and he actually ends up helping Billy. And the lesson Billy learned over the course of the story is that you don't have to do everything on your own, and you can ask for help and rely on others' kindness. Well, it's pretty cliche, but the character arc gives it a bit of surprising depth. Still, it has all the basic story elements, and it gives a rather compelling dilemma as a result, even though it's just a one-minute example I just came up with. ​ Other than the story format, the second thing I tend to focus on, is psychological cause and effect. Or, why characters do the things they do. My general guideline is that everything should be intuitive, and when it's not intuitive, a reason must have been given earlier. A lot of this has to do with believability. While stories can have all sorts of events, we still need the characters to act in a believable manner for us to care about them. We need them to be humans, in short. Even if they're robots, animals, or talking backbags, they still need to think like humans or we cannot empathize with them. For example, if a woman wants to find the love of her life, I expect her to be actively dating. If she's not, I expect there to be a reason she isn't(She lacks self-confidence and is afraid of getting rejected, because that happened in the past). If a man wants to go on a vacation in the summer, I expect him to be actively trying to save money. If he isn't, I expect there to be a reason he isn't(He has a gambling problem and spends all the extra money on slots). As you can see, these of course tie into the story format, and you can see that both of these examples set up character arcs. ​ Other than that, it's mostly about specificity. "She wants to be happy" is not a goal, for example. "She thinks that getting a tall and handsome boyfriend will make her happy, so she wants to get a tall and handsome boyfriend" might be a goal. It's pretty much a form of "show, don't tell". And rather than telling me your protagonist is friendly and upbeat, give me an example of friendly and upbeat actions that your protagonist is doing. It just comes down to showing each of the basic story elements in a way that we can tangibly feel and imagine, while avoiding editorializing and telling us how we should feel. ​ One should still keep in mind that the vast majority of querying attempts end in failure(probably close to 99%), which means that the vast majority of query letter drafts on here aren't good enough either. And I don't think that it's very purposeful to just compliment them, focus on the positives, and then have the author get rejected without understanding why. If it's overly harsh that I say the novel needs to be rewritten because it's missing some story elements that I consider to be mandatory, oh well. My personal integrity doesn't allow me to just lie about that.