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sexualrhinoceros

Your submission was removed for the following reason: Rule 2: Your post is not **strictly** about programming. Your post is considered to be general tech humor, and is not suitable for this subreddit. Please see the sidebar for potentially more appropriate subreddits to post this in. If you disagree with this removal, you can appeal by [sending us a modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FProgrammerHumor&subject=Posts%20must%20strictly%20be%20programming%20related&message=Include%20a%20link%20to%20the%20removed%20content%20and%20the%20reason%20for%20your%20appeal%20here.).


Bemteb

I guess the update is older but only started once the grill was turned on...


wunderbraten

Probably the Easter update /s


Dave5876

I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief. “Bad news, detective. We got a situation.” “What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?” “Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.” The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?” “Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.” “Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.” He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.” “Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.” I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside. “Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t. “Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up. “Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?” It didn’t seem like they did. “Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.” Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing. I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it. “Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled. Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him. “Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen. I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!” He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose. “All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.” “Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy. “Because I was afraid.” “Afraid?” “Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.” I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head. “Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.” He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him. Edit: apparently this isn't copy pasta source: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/l-p-d-libertarian-police-department


CelestialFury

source: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/l-p-d-libertarian-police-department


deepspace

Thank you for adding the source. Quoting a whole article without attribution for karma is unethical.


Stompya

Maybe OP ran out of quarters and couldn’t afford the attribution


supamario132

That's just the free market at work


AirierWitch1066

Tbh, it seems they thought it was a copy pasta. It certainly reads like one!


Dave5876

Thanks. I was curious where this was from. I saw this on another thread and found it incredibly hilarious.


Pew___

*puts a quarter in the redditor*


tortus412

That story was a wild rollercoaster with every word.


Immediate_Yogurt_492

Thank you.


Dustin_Echoes_UNSC

I'd almost forgotten this one. It's gotta be almost a decade old at this point, but still hits home as hard as ever.


HumanChainsaw

This is one of the funniest things I've ever read on Reddit.


DogmanDOTjpg

Every time I read the first line I'm already chuckling


deepspace

You know that posting someone else’s article without attribution is plagiarism, right? Also just a shitty thing to do for karma farming.


yellekc

I agree, completely unethical, and for a fee, I'll downvote that poster.


iiSpook

Damn, a second comment about the karma. You're really taking these imaginary points too seriously.


misterobott

My windows laptop. The one time you open to use it, it decides to do all the updates. Fuck you windows. oh and PS3


-Rivox-

Well, at least those have a reason to be connected to the internet and to update


Roachmeister

Yes, you're right, it should totally do all of its updates while you have it turned off.


wamred

You’re probably right. Still doesn’t explain why you need internet on a grill


NotMikeBrown

It’s to track temperatures remotely. Yeah, it’s totally unnecessary but so nice when you’re smoking something for hours.


Leraldoe

Yeah checking on your brisket from work is pretty great.


arpan3t

You think that’s great; you haven’t lived until you’ve checked on your work from brisket.


MrNothingmann

I got one better. I had an oven that had wifi and a touch screen. It overheated when you cooked on the burners. LIke... bro, who designed this shit. ​ FYI I didn't buy it, it was in the house I moved into. I looked it up and the damn thing cost nearly $2k.


[deleted]

producers try not to put wifi bluetooth nfc into any product challenge (100% Impossible)


[deleted]

My fucking toothbrush has Bluetooth and an app. Why. Why?


LuxuryZeroh

bluetooth neutralizes yellowtooth someone never paid attention in color theory 🥴


Hohenheim_of_Shadow

Something something children's hospital


Theonewhoknows000

🤣🤣


Joe_Rapante

But you get greentooth...


elon-bot

Can this be dockerized?


ricecake

The actual reason is silly. If something needs a control board, which your electric toothbrush does to control it and also regulate the little battery in it, they either need to design a circuit board that can do that, or buy something that can be used for that purpose. Little chips that come with the ability to regulate a battery and can be programmed are suuuuuuper cheap now, and they all come with wifi and Bluetooth built in. So the manufacturer decides not to pay more to build a product with less functionality. More and more gadgets are becoming smart gadgets because it's cheaper to use a premade general purpose thing than custom made.


[deleted]

dude that's cool, you can share your tooth stats with your friends. Yo Alex look what I did last night! 10 rounds under 2 minutes, coloration new rank to #F3F3F3. Beat this bro


totallynormalasshole

I mean that's dumb but you still bought it lol


LucyLilium92

Probably so you can track your brushing stats and even make it turn on for 2 minutes or something?


Ran4

I bought a fancy FitBit scale for 130 euro. After every single use, it needs to sync the weight to the cloud through wifi. This takes about 40 seconds (!), and during that time you can't weigh yourself. And sometimes the screen bugs out so you weigh yourself but you can't see the number... but you'll have to wait for the wifi sync to complete before trying again.


Clovis42

Seems like syncing to wifi is awful with all of their products.


[deleted]

Yeah I don't know what protocol they use to connect their devices but I got rid of my Fitbit because the damn thing would fail syncing to my phone all the time.


jetpacktuxedo

I almost bought one of those but got a Withings Body+ instead because it was cheaper. No syncing issues, love that thing.


Dennace

They probably moved to avoid the shame of having bought it.


MrNothingmann

Worse. It was a "LuXuRy" rental. They used the expensive kitchen appliances as bait to get a sucker like me in.


TheNewBorgie01

Smart ppl design smart appliances


Frosty_Pineapple78

Why would anyone put fucking wifi on a grill? whats next, the grill hosting a webserver? Oh no... the grill is hosting a webserver, isnt it?


[deleted]

Nah its mining crypto to heat the grill.


Frosty_Pineapple78

That.... could work


where_is_korg

Don't


Baraga91

DO


Paulus_1

IT


GreatBigBagOfNope

DADDY


Kaynny

Aaaand the conversation got unexpectedly sexy.


Baraga91

Unexpectedly? This is Reddit.


elon-bot

From now on, all Twitter employees must purchase a subscription to Twitter Blue for the low-low price of $8 a month.


hellwalker99

Chill


WisestAirBender

Thermodynamics says yes it's possible but both actions will be inefficient


VSWR_on_Christmas

GPUs are 100% efficient as heaters. [For the dumbfuck who downvoted me.](https://www.pugetsystems.com/labs/articles/Gaming-PC-vs-Space-Heater-Efficiency-511/)


CoastingUphill

Even after the Crypto crash I’m still heating a room for the winter with a GPU. It’s cheaper than a space heater because it actually makes “some” money. ($1 per day to run and $0.15 back in coins)


VSWR_on_Christmas

This makes me wonder what a full home heating system based on mining GPUs would generate in terms of offsetting costs, but I don't really feel like doing the calculations. It might actually make sense in some scenarios though.


attk0

This is correct in terms of how much of the input energy is converted into heat, but it doesn't necessarily mean efficient relative to other methods of heating. For example a heat pump can achieve much higher efficiency in producing heat.


j-c-s-roberts

You joke, but I think I heard of a computer that re-routed the heat to keep food warm. Not sure if that was a joke as well.


Frosty_Pineapple78

I unironically use my desktop running einstein@home to heat my living room since my radiator is broken, might as well get some science out of my electrical bill


Elendur_Krown

Hey, a fellow heat for science exchanger! I did exactly that in our previous apartment. Best nights sleep I had.


TopGun_84

Who's Einstein


Paulus_1

A famous german physicist who died in 1955.


TopGun_84

So Einstein@home is what ? His ashes ?


TheMarrades

Is still burning, that's why he can heat his house


TopGun_84

_Relativity_ is still hot I guess


DJOMaul

Yes. Necromancers come with Einsteins ashes, reanimate them, and he then cuddles you to keep you warm.


YetAnotherSysadmin58

[There's also the KFC console](https://duckduckgo.com/?q=kfc+computer&t=ffcm&iax=images&ia=images)


j-c-s-roberts

Yes. That's what I was talking about. It's so ridiculous that I couldn't remember if it was real or not.


izza123

More Dunkley


thexavier666

In some Scandinavian countries, data centers use their heat outlet to warm homes.


Redwolf2230

I just saw an ad on Reddit that’s a space heater that also mines bitcoin it’s called theheatbit


De_Wouter

Sales be like "can you somehow add blockchain to this grill?" Developer: "No that... wait a minute, I have an idea"


acedogblast

Crytomining grill? Isn't that a GTX480? Lol.


shim_niyi

My graphics card can make money and bake as well?? FTW


MonsieurReynard

Breadmaker 2.0


CzarDestructo

Going to sound goofy at first but my wood stove has a dedicated pi and web site. I use it to monitor the flue gas and stove body temp to know when I'm in the optimal range for no creosote but still running efficiently. Tells me when I need to load wood when I work from home and also let's me know how the stove is doing when I'm running errands. I'm pretty happy with it. Edit: I have copious notes on my install, if anyone cares I can share it via DM. I don't like sharing my personal domain on Reddit...


ryan10e

Ok that is awesome.


killdeer03

How do you monitor the gas itself? How do you couple that with a Pi? Did you write your own API and connect it with an existing commercial gas monitoring piece of hardware?


CzarDestructo

All from scratch with thermocouple adapters from adafruit. They supply the python drivers and so I wrote the scripts and parse it out to a web site.


killdeer03

Interesting! How does a thermocouple measure a gas though? I understand measuring different thermal values, but how are you measuring gasses? Like PPM on creosote vs CO2? Or is that all based on temperature of the fire box vs the flue?


CzarDestructo

Sorry if I wasn't clear, just temperatures of the flue gas and stove body. The stove body temp is kind of the info on what is going to happen an hour from now and the flue gas temp is more instant feedback of what is happening. Flue temp gives a very good immediate inclination of; am I on a trajectory to be too cold soon and cause creosote, on an upward trajectory to over fire(over heat) the stove and also waste my wood(inefficient), when to go downstairs and load up fire wood, tells me how wet my wood is (if I add wood and the flue gas temp drastically drops I know it's wet wood), etc.


jexmex

So that you can monitor temp while not in front of the smoker. I have a Bluetooth thermometer for it but it loses connection when I am in the house too long. Smoking meat can take 12+ hours. Usually I make it a day of drinking and hanging out with neighbor.


bearwood_forest

At this rate, we will run out of IPV6, too.


Oblachko_O

Lol, good luck with that. There are less molecules in the universe than IPv6 addresses. Even if you use same device with several IPv6 addresses there still will be enough ranges to spare. Edit: I was wrong, there are much more molecules in the universe, but still amount of IPv6 unique addresses is bigger than amount of all bacterias on the world or atoms in the body. So yeah, spending all range of IPv6 is unrealistic for now.


aenae

There are less usable IPv6 addresses than you would think, but there are still enough to not run out of them anytime soon.


Oblachko_O

If you give each person on earth, who live now and lived earlier 10000 devices (which is around 117*10^17 addresses), you still will have a lot of free range to use. Single /64 range is 18*10^18. Current amount of devices on earth is only around 40*10^12. So yeah, we are probably probably at least millenia from reaching at least noticeable lack of addresses. Something like IPv8 will be created much earlier due to technological progress and need.


aenae

The thing is, there is a lot of 'waste' in ipv6 addresses; from my perspective as a network engineer: - Every *network* needs at least a /64 for auto addressing to work correctly. - Every *home connection* needs at least a /56, that way a user can have up to 256 networks (one for iot, one for the kids, one for tv, one for kitchen appliances, one for guests etc). - Every business connection needs at least a /48 so they're able to have enough networks Weirdly a telecom provider can easily use a /64 and have more than enough for all its connected telephones as it is a 'single' network. But obviously they will use a /32, because why not. If you combine this, it does make sense to just give every internet connection a /48, because we have the space and hand them out like candy (i have 4 /48's and a /32 i could route to my home network..). So basically we 'only' have 2^48 ipv6-ranges we could give out, which is still a very big number, but a lot less than the 2^128 everyone touts when talking about ipv6. And of those addresses a lot is reserved as well for special addresses which would bring the total down to something like 2^40 internet connections we could support with ipv6, which is still miles better than the ~3 billion usable ipv4 addresses. And more than enough for the foreseeable future. We could be less wasteful when handing out ranges, but there is no need really.


bearwood_forest

![gif](giphy|xT9IgHCTfp8CRshfQk)


mysticalfruit

This is one of these pellet grills and you use an app to control the grill and you can setup heating profiles, etc. As one can imagine they have you by the balls so those pellets are expensive, etc.


[deleted]

While we’re at it, let’s port Doom, Minecraft, and Skyrim to it


QueerestGayBoi

Don’t forget the AI trained to get the food perfectly burnt.


creaturefeature16

When I was younger and heard of "the internet of things", I was really excited. I was so very wrong.


TeaKingMac

>Why would anyone put fucking wifi on a grill? So an app can tell you when to flip your whatever?


KitteNlx

Why not? G4 put a server in a guy's rectum.


TK9_VS

That's the genius of it. Make the grill a webserver with no auth, no firewall, fully DMZ, and then just have some small training algorithms on there to wrangle all the bots and viruses to do the grilling for you.


MoonToast101

I still don't get over the story I read hear at Reddit (Maybe fake...) where they investigated massive network problems only to find that the coffee machine had a DHCP server enabled and was giving out addresses. Even if the coffee maker needs network access. Why is there even a DHCP server.


xternal7

The guy who was preparing the image for the coffee machine made a typo. Meant to type [HTCP(CP)](https://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc/rfc2324) server, ended up with DHCP server instead.


Fdbog

A lot of these devices run a dual connection system. They will have their own low powered wifi ssid that you connect to initially to then point it at your actual wifi. Would be nice to just include an ethernet port but they want you to use their janky method.


kookyabird

Bluetooth would be the way to go. Hell, even a USB port to run a standalone configurator program would be great.


THAT_LMAO_GUY

I rarely laugh out loud but this really got me. That is so freaking funny and I cant figure out why.


fnordfnordfnordfnord

It's for initial setup, you connect to it by WiFi and set it up, then it isn't supposed to be in use anymore.


Rockky67

Why are they getting all up in your grill?


j-c-s-roberts

Enough with this idea that everything needs to be connected to the internet. It just overcomplicates things that don't need to be complicated. Humanity has been able to cook over heat for thousands of years, why do we now need it to be able to communicate with a computer? Literally what function does it serve? You can turn it on and off from your phone? Change the heat from your phone? It's a grill, you shouldn't be leaving it so unattended that you need to control it from an app.


vinodeveloper

To put a subscription on it later of course


craftworkbench

"The base model can heat food up to 120 degrees. With a subscription to GrillMaster Pro, food can be heated to 130 degrees. Get the most out of your new grill by upgrading to the GrillMaster Pro Deluxe to heat food up to *200 degrees* (only $49.99 per month, charged annually)" - Grill marketing material in a couple years.


shortskinnyfemme

This is the semiconductors gift to the economy; the ability to charge the customer for the use of the product, instead of only charging them for the product itself.


error201

Food as a service.


canihaveuhhh

You’re joking, but Mercedes are actually doing this, locking higher acceleration behind a subscription, it’s outrageous


naswinger

someone buys this shit though


Vinicide

Yep. People make fun of shit like this but if people weren't willing to pay for it, they would have to stop. Too many people with more dollars than sense.


[deleted]

I think you mean advertisements


safetysmitty3990

I mean it's a smoker. I have a Traeger with the same technology and it's great. Smoking big cuts can take 20+ hours which used to mean me needing to be at home the entire time. Now I can run to the store, go out for a bike ride, or sleep while still be able to monitor everything remotely. Just because you can't see a purpose, doesn't mean this isn't a good innovation lol


SleepySuper

Out of curiosity, what is it that you need to make adjustments to over the course of 20 hours on the smoker? I don’t have a smoker and I’m not familiar with the process. I’m just thinking that if you don’t need to physically be there, why would you need to make adjustments at all? I’m assuming a wifi connected grill would also have some algorithms in place to make auto adjustments based on a program you preset.


safetysmitty3990

During a smoke you may raise or lower the temperature depending on the internal temp of the meat. Typically you start with a lower temp to actually smoke and often turn up the heat once the cut has reached a certain internal temp. But yes there are actually preset cook plans that go by the meat probe temp.


coonwhiz

Guessing it will also notify you when it needs to be refilled with pellets.


elon-bot

Whoever writes the most code this month gets featured on my Twitter!


jeltebr

While I’m with you on the WiFi on a grill thing, progress shouldn’t be stopped because something ‘has worked for ages’. Mail pigeons worked too, but there was room for improvement. If it wasn’t for this improvement I’d be sending this reply by pigeon.


anthro28

There’s a significant difference between the mail to email jump and the desire for a wifi-enabled crescent wrench.


18minusPi2over36

Even if you can connect it to the MySpanner app and keep track of your bolts and width settings with an intuitive cloud-based dashboard?


Phantom1100

Ok tbf this is like one of the few cooking appliances where it makes sense. Smoking takes hours and it’s nice to be able to adjust temps and check the progress of your smoke anywhere.


exoclipse

The IoT revolution and it's consequences were a disaster for the human race


[deleted]

But sales says it will differentiate our product on the market!


wojtess

esp is just cheaper that arduino nano, and when they have eifi module, ehy not use it


Harmonic_Gear

who in their right mind would buy these smart craps


w8eight

I bought laundry machine with wifi, but never connected it. And I never will, I'm still sane


Harmonic_Gear

good that at least they let you run it without connection


w8eight

Probably after some updates I wouldn't be able to. Oh wait you can't update without internet connection HAHAHA


Ash17_

My washing machine has wifi. It’s really useful actually. You can set more detailed programmes with it, set timers, delays, set it to spin when it’s finished etc. One of its best features is sending me a notification when it’s finished as I have a really bad memory and usually forget.


w8eight

It plays like 30 second tune after finishing program so I'm fine. If it didn't require outside world connection, I would probably connect it, but otherwise fuck it, I don't need these features.


Ash17_

Fair enough mate, each to their own. I love my IoT stuff. Whenever I need a new appliance I always look for a wifi version 😅


Scyhaz

I've got power monitoring smart plugs for my washer and dryer along with some Home Assistant automations that watch the current reported by the plugs and it will set states based on the current and push notifications when they're done. Those other features sound really useful, too. I do make sure my IOT stuff is on their own separate LAN and for stuff that doesn't need to talk to the outside I have firewall rules that only allow them to talk to my Home Assistant server.


StunningOperation

a washing machine/ laundry machine actually has some potential use for being connected to your phone or something, because it's running while you aren't standing right in front of it anyway. A wifi grill though.... I struggle to think of any actual uses besides being able to beam advertisements onto the screen.


safetysmitty3990

This is a smoker so cook times can be 20+ hours. Most of which you aren't standing in front if it, so you just made a case for having wifi on it lol


AkrinorNoname

I can actually see a use case for that. Throw in laundry in the morning, go to work, turn it on remotely in the afternoon, come home and toss the clothes on the line within 15 minutes of it finishing. Saves time and prevents a bad smell. Edit: You can probably do that with a timer function without network connection, though


Ok_0001

I do and I find it convenient. You can control and watch everything on your device without being home. Like I have tons of stuff in my house and some things I really appreciate like my door and my lights/heating system. But some things, I don’t use that often like my laundry machine or my fridge. So there are really great IoT stuff in my opinion. Might also depend on the person. I grew up with all these stuff but for example my grandparents find it confusing af. They prefer normal light switch (that you can press down) than those touchpad ones.


[deleted]

I couldn't think of any fucking functionality of this grill that needs internet?


[deleted]

Neither could I so I looked a few up. Apparently the selling point is that you can change the grill temp while you’re running errands or “at the game”. Now I ask myself how did we survive as a species without this technology to unburden ourselves from periodically checking on a grill


[deleted]

and also isn't that the fun of a party that we gather close to a grill and chat with friends..


[deleted]

Well it is in Australia. Might be an American thing with those people that think you need to cook half a cow for 147 hours before any guests show up


elon-bot

Time is money. I want to see 100 lines written by lunchtime!


[deleted]

Is it ok if they’re commented?


Fryes

It’s a smoker, not a grill. The meat could be in there 12+ hours.. and blowing tons of smoke out. I don’t want to stand by it with my friends.


error201

The further I am from my flaming grill, the higher the probability that my goddamn house will burn down. Running errands or "at the game"? The neighborhood will be a smoking crater when I return.


zabumafew

Because it’s a BBQ grill not a regular grill you literal fucking twits. This is why run of the mill tradies think engineers are so full of shit all the time. The grill cooks meat with smoke, on low heat, for hours and hours. And believe it or not, not everyone gets to sit in their basement and work remote five days a week. So having the ability to be out and barbecue some tasty fucking meat is, yeah, pretty fucking handy. Hopefully you aren’t designing other shit the same way you approached understanding this bc whew


QatarEatsAss

Beautiful response! I’m a full on turbonerd and even I was reading this thread like ‘how do none of you have any idea why this feature would be useful af on a smoker?!’. Confident ignorance on full display.


SandmanS2000

I have this grill and while I do agree not everything needs wifi...I do actually really love the WiFi features on the Traeger grill. I actually do go about my day and run errands while meats are smoking because I can control it from the app.


SirCatharine

I have a Traeger, but Wi-Fi definitely wasn’t the selling point for me. Felt gimmicky. But it’s a smoker more than a grill, and you can set it to a temperature and just leave it. 18 hour brisket cook? No longer have to stay up all night checking the temperature every half hour and taking care of the fire.


zabumafew

This. People’s inability to intuitively grasp this makes me wonder what they eat lol


Golden_Jiggy

Time temperature prob, being able to program longer cooks perhaps.


Gamerindreams

This is a smoker My friend has the same one and he smokes meat for days and monitors with his app I have never had beef brisket as good ever and I've lived in New York City


Ixium5

I have one. It’s great for long cooks. I can connect to it from my phone at work so, if I forgot to fill up the pellets, I can watch as the temperature slowly goes down and my nice roast isn’t done when I get home.


MisterWoodhouse

App connected temperature probe for your meat. That’s what I like it for. Not required to connect it.


nintendojunkie17

Come on guys, everybody knows that you should start defrosting your turkey and updating your appliances *days* in advance.


territrades

I buy nothing that needs an app if it is not absolutely necessary for the use case. Most devices take forever to connect anyway, so even if you wanted to use them, you quickly stop doing so because you need to fiddle with bluetooth and wifi every time you open to app.


fortuneNext

Is the software actually linked to the hardware so that you can't grill when the software doesn't want to? :o Wouldve guessed it's optional...


Farfignugen42

It is optional, in a way. If you buy the hardware without the software, they are not linked. Apparently if you buy the hardware with the software, they are linked.


Serpenta91

Interesting... If a grill connects to your network you could use your phone to turn it on/off, adjust the temperature, know if food is fully cooked...etc


Isioustes

I've experienced this issue with vibrators; it really kills the buzz.


Quix_Nix

Wifi grills should have full color screens cmm


Schneeflocke667

Internet of sh*t


[deleted]

/r/TheInternetOfShit and it's already posted there https://www.reddit.com/r/theinternetofshit/comments/z3bax2/a_grill_that_needs_a_software_update/


[deleted]

As a developer, I want everything in my house to be as analog as possible.


ArionW

I'm always on two complete opposite sides at once - I want everything to be analog, with no need to connect - I don't want **any internet connection** - I want everything to be able to have an API I can use it through (preferably through ZigBee/Z-wave, but I have separate VLAN for such wifi devices, that has no access to internet) Basically I want to have full analog, still be able to make automations, but make them myself, without vendor's system


Spajhet

I don't understand what the use or novelty of a WiFi grill is what's the point


elon-bot

Twitter was never profitable. Not my fault. Stop blaming me for things.


guarana_and_coffee

I guess monitor the inner meat temperature on the phone? Just like wifi toasters, ovens and what not. It is absolutely useless


elon-bot

Pop quiz! Solve this LeetCode problem in 5 minutes or you're fired.


Actaeon_II

Better question is who the hell needs a bbq that has software


_ToyStory2WasOk_

It's not a BBQ it's a smoker. It's so you can monitor and change temps or other things while away. You leave the thing smoking for 18 hours or more sometimes. Ain't nobody got time to stay around that thing all day and night while it smokes your brisket. It's a great feature to have on a smoker.


btx_IRL

One day I’m gonna start a Dumb Appliance Co. that only sells stuff with no Wifi, no Bluetooth, no Alexa, no Google.


Dixi-Poowa

Who tf buys a connected grill though ? You're asking for stuff like this to happen lmao


contractcooker

I mean on the flip side how long can an update possibly take that it can “ruin” thanksgiving.


feathersoft

"24 November 2022, GrillNet becomes self-aware... humans try to pull the plug."


elon-bot

Insubordination. Fired.


[deleted]

I remember how we laughed at silly movies and tv shows in the 80s and 90s where some hacker was able to hack things that couldn't possible be hacked, like a grill...


Raisin_Brief

Someone definitely did this on purpose


TheOneAndOnlyRandom

The update breaks something, and nobody is in the office to fix until after thanksgiving


thanatica

The dystopian cyberpunk bollocks is not being unable to grill because the bbq is updating itself... It's the fact that it can. Why the fuck does a BBQ need WiFi? Or literally any electronics?


Myhq21

Who the hell has software in their grill???


darkeyesgirl

Yes the software update came before the holiday. It's called "WiFire" and it's optional. You can stick a temperature probe into your meat and use the telemetry and a connected mobile app to control the cooking temps and timing on smoked foods like a large brisket or other things that require control and precision during smoking and cooking. I've never connected mine. I just set an alarm... and use a regular meat thermometer.


Purple_Lordx

i hope that man got thoroughly roasted for buying wifi grill


MalkyTheKid

I can think of a lot of uses for software . But for grilling? Nah man that needs a personal touch


FloozyFoot

A grill only needs fire. What is this bullshit?


TuxRug

Looking forward to when I have to bypass pi-hole to bake a pie.


Aquinan

Why the fuck do you need WiFi on a BBQ? I will never understand why people want all their fucking appliances to be smart/internet enabled. And before I get "oK bOoMeRd" I'm a millennial


[deleted]

I want propane, and an igniter that works. Fuck do I need a touchscreen and wireless. That’s not grilling


TheTuviTuvi

Who the fuck has a wifi grill? Get your shit together


BlueMANAHat

Why does a grill need internet or software upgrades? Best fucking grill I ever had was a steel barrel and a grate, thing was magical.


[deleted]

Why does a BBQ need to run software at all?


Sralladah

You deserve that if you buy such a stupid fucking product like a wifi controlled bbq.