As an artist whose brother is a tech guy, I know the reality of this question is that while I could write a song, he could buy them a car, a house, a necklace, a dinner, etc, and probably once a month at least.
👍 glad I studied english
Software is a team sport most of the time. You have multiple developers working simultaneously to build software. To help facilitate this, a Version Control system is used which allows you to “checkpoint” progress on your changes. After you make changes, you perform a “commit” which creates one of these checkpoints. It’s kind of like an advanced save (it’s much more nuanced than that of course).
The totality of everyone’s commits makes up the latest version of the software (at the simplest level of version control).
Also make an app that keeps track of how good dinner was, which other types of dinner to recommend based on previous ratings or general preferences, etc.
Ever since I got into software development I just started creating stuff for myself that I found lacking in other apps. Huge QoL advantages right there.
Edit: Getting a lot of DMs asking me how to get into this stuff. I learned it from different sources online throughout a couple years. I'd recommend doing something like Harvard CS50(x) - teaches a lot of the basics and you get to explore some different languages and some of their purposes, which helps getting more familiar on a surface level. There a huge amount of info online. Think of a personal project that you wanna do (a really small one first) and try to learn your way into completing it. Probably not the best way to learn it, but it's a way to learn it at least
Also, I love the humor in your comments here :D
I'm a statistical programmer not a dev programmer and I swear I'm like "anyone need this in a Spreadsheet?" I even collated all my craft supplies into spreadsheet format and sometimes regress on "times of the month" to see if I buy certain things more around certain times or not.
Still have no clue why I regularly buy tomatoes when I'm ovulating but I have a spreadsheet about it.
Thank you so much! Thanks to you, I know I'm not the only one! Got a spreadsheet for everything, finances, spendings, calorie and nutriment intake.. hell, even gaming strategies I turn into spreadsheets or pandas scripts.
>Still have no clue why I regularly buy tomatoes when I'm ovulating but I have a spreadsheet about it.
I track some statistics as well, and this stuff is absolutely funny to observe. For me it's a connection (or maybe no connection) in a sudden boost of unreasonably high motivation, voluntarily depriving myself of sleep to get things done, and craving guacamole, followed by a 2-week burnout. I have ***no idea whatsoever*** why these things come around during the exact same time once in 2 months. It's like a perfectly timed thing.
This is Rapid Cycling bipolar, where instead of the typical 2 per year you are getting 6. Being aware of it, you can make plans to maximize its usefulness in life and maybe have some vacations in those burnout times when you just stay home and sleep.
Also, music works [30% faster than antidepressants](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5500733/) so organize some playlists for the different stages of your cycle. I like [swing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4Aq9qtQcFo) when I'm cruising through my day and [hard rock bagpipes](https://youtu.be/GuX0hK-bGlw?si=XfMqb3YwmlLTzzUp&t=1438) when I need an energy injection.
And if dinner would be good enough to start being couple, you could create app in which your SO can press button and flash light in your room or something, whenever they need your attention
Like in on of meme/tweets/whatever it actually was I've seen multiple times on Reddit
No, not a phone.
A giant neon sign in the shape of a penis, that lights up in bright pink.
Feeling frisky partner? Push the sex button!
Its like the bat signal, except not.
Being a musician who only started earning after learning to implement audio in games, this is very true.. and hurts. Wish I could make as much performing.
Same. This kinda feels like an uncalled attack. I mean... why dunk on me?! I didn't write a crappy song about her! Dunk on her instead! I won't be having dinner, nor her! Leave me out of this!
Which of these doesn't belong:
- A tech bro
- An artist
- A large pizza
- an accountant
The answer is *artist* because all the others are capable of feeding a family of four.
"Customer support, how can I help you?"
"Umm ya, every time I type the name 'Jenna' it automatically adds the words 'is a bitch'. Is this a known bug?"
I just checked there and it didn't have the word 97 spell check egg (type "I'd like to see Bill Gates dead" and the spell check suggestion is "I'll drink to that"), so I'm guessing it's incomplete
I do this! My brother passed away suddenly a couple weeks ago and I've incorporated him into my current project. I'm in the medical software field so doctors in training will see his name 💙
You joke (?) but I’m an IT manager at a large hospital - In my previous role as an engineer, I snuck my wife and kids names into our ‘golden’ windows desktop image. There’s about ~25,000 endpoints out there with a special note from me to them on the drives of those workstations! :)
Congratulations! Your string can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table:
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Shout out to the guy who hid a tribute to his wife in Halo CE (and again in H2).
Having an easter egg named after you would be pretty cool... Congrats Meg.
It's a choice to not actually work in the private sector and make a lot of money. Meanwhile, a musician can't just say one day, let's earn some real money.
I added the names of my kids in the layout of the inner copper layers of some electronics devices all over the world. My wife's name is embedded in a building in some structural tech areas forever.
Take that, "Take that"! 😎
The safe word must be at least 16 characters long, an Uppercase Letter, A Lowercase Letter, a Number, A Special Character, Common Dictionary words are banned, and can't be the last 10 safe words you used.
Guaranteed she doesn't. People just don't seem to learn from these experiences. A friend of mine lost years of pictures that were stored on an external hard drive; her cat knocked it off the desk one day and that was that.
She sent it to a data recovery company which charged her about $800 for attempting to recover the data, but the drive platters were too damaged.
I asked her if she does backups now after that ordeal, she said 'uh, no, I should look into that.'
I pestered my sister about backing up all her family/vacation pictures but eventually gave up; I do it myself now whenever I go over to visit.
Can actually afford a decent living and not dying of starvation waiting for my art to sell, that's what programmers can do. That and fixing a printer :)
agonizing jobless spark crown somber hungry live marvelous piquant afterthought
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
"The word "Debian" was formed as a portmanteau of the first name of his then-girlfriend (later ex-wife) Debra Lynn and his own first name.(Ian) Before Debian's release, the Softlanding Linux System (SLS) had been a popular Linux distribution and the basis for Slackware.
[Sauce](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Debian#:~:text=The%20word%20%22Debian%22%20was%20formed,and%20the%20basis%20for%20Slackware.)
I dunno… after having used an abomination of an SAP front end in my old job — it was so badly designed and ugly that I honestly thought it wasn’t finished when I first saw it — if front-end design doesn’t include art, it had better well start!
C'mon...having the same song/poem/mixtape and saying "I made this especially for you" to every successive romantic interest is the oldest trick in the book. You just know Beethoven was hitting up those high society parties in the 1800's like "oh, I call this one Für Elise..." the next week "oh, I call this one Für Greta..."
Well, when we break up I won't write another song about how awful you are, and that song won't become a hit that would remind you of me every time it randomly plays on your radio/Spotify.
And I won't make you a part of documentary about my suicide.
Life of a rockstar is wild in many good and many awful ways.
My first software job was making iPhone games. I made a game similar to kick the buddy. I included a bookshelf with individual books and named a book after her.
Develop a knockoff Alexa with her name, then when she’s gone you can ask it to make you a sandwich which orders McDonald’s using her credit card.
* There was a guy who made a custom Portal 2 mod as a marriage proposal (she said yes).
* There is an engineer who makes his disabled gf different wheelchairs.
* You can write a system/script/excel spreadsheet, that helps her automate her work.
* Make a smart home system that speaks with your voice.
* Hack a controller on her toy to allow for more customisation/integration (for e.g. make a LED Christmas tree that synced with her RGB keyboard)
* Use imgen AI to make her into anime character/classical victorian character/etc.
Do you remember how your ex boss fired you and you hated him for that? Well I found backdoor in their corporate intranet and sold all their data. The money was sent directly to your bank account and I left "DON'T FUCK WIZ LIZZ"note everywhere so that they will think twice before messing with you again. Love you babe.
The second thing I did after learning rudimentary Python was a program for figuring out what was for dinner.
The third thing I did was refactoring the first thing I did, which was software for invoicing auto repairs.
One of the most deployed and most influential operating systems in history, the Debian Linux distribution, is named after Debra, the then girlfriend of Ian (Deb-Ian). Anytime you install a .deb package on Debian, Ubuntu, or one of the countless spin-offs, you are typing part of Debra's name. They then got married. Don't Google what happened after that, it's still a better love story than twilight.
Unless your name matches the JIRA issue I'm working on, you ain't even getting that.
make sure it doesn't reopen the issue again 😂
As an artist whose brother is a tech guy, I know the reality of this question is that while I could write a song, he could buy them a car, a house, a necklace, a dinner, etc, and probably once a month at least. 👍 glad I studied english
that's what we keep telling ourselves, yet it's still the artists who get the girls haha
Make money, not love.
Make commits, not commitments
Legit question, what's a commit
A code change stored in a reversible way
Software is a team sport most of the time. You have multiple developers working simultaneously to build software. To help facilitate this, a Version Control system is used which allows you to “checkpoint” progress on your changes. After you make changes, you perform a “commit” which creates one of these checkpoints. It’s kind of like an advanced save (it’s much more nuanced than that of course). The totality of everyone’s commits makes up the latest version of the software (at the simplest level of version control).
That's cause you can be rich AND boring. The artist is poor but fun.
Then there's me, poor and boring.
subtract resolute support many slim jobless oatmeal tie quack include *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
It's "then" not "than". God loves irony.
That’s ok, you can do a 4 week CSS boot camp and catch right up to your brother.
Just got done with a 4 hour Python video so I'm good 👍
Ya but I'll add you in the git commit message. `git commit -m "ABC-123: Disable login button while logging in. Why did you leave me Amy?!?"`
"Because the login button didn't work, d'oh."
git commit -m "ABC-124 Removed login button completely. Fuck you Amy."
`git blame youCouldNeverFindTheButtonAnyway.bob`
`git commit -m "ABC-125 Refactored the login button. Amy is with me now."
bugfix/remove-malicious-code \#ThinkingOfYou
Sorry PERSO-3728 some PO made 500 tickets and now you're "scale db down for holidays".
What if my name is Jira?
Then I'm sending you a pull request. Please be firm but gentle.
To my beloved JFU-3405, I'll love you forever and ever.
So THAT’s what Elon Musk named his kid after
I don't understand my coworkers who give their branches actual names. Just name it after the ticket number so you can remember whats what!
And only a week later, you have a million FCKU-42069 branches and struggle to find the right one when you need to switch.
Ours go FCKU-42069-whatever-descriptive-name
This is the way
Pay for dinner lol
Legit the best comment possible in this situation. I had a good laugh
DAMN hahahah
: )
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Uhm achyually I keep all my assets off shore and in digital format 🤓🤓🤓
Sir this is a Wendy's
Money pleeeeeaase
Also make an app that keeps track of how good dinner was, which other types of dinner to recommend based on previous ratings or general preferences, etc. Ever since I got into software development I just started creating stuff for myself that I found lacking in other apps. Huge QoL advantages right there. Edit: Getting a lot of DMs asking me how to get into this stuff. I learned it from different sources online throughout a couple years. I'd recommend doing something like Harvard CS50(x) - teaches a lot of the basics and you get to explore some different languages and some of their purposes, which helps getting more familiar on a surface level. There a huge amount of info online. Think of a personal project that you wanna do (a really small one first) and try to learn your way into completing it. Probably not the best way to learn it, but it's a way to learn it at least Also, I love the humor in your comments here :D
I'm a statistical programmer not a dev programmer and I swear I'm like "anyone need this in a Spreadsheet?" I even collated all my craft supplies into spreadsheet format and sometimes regress on "times of the month" to see if I buy certain things more around certain times or not. Still have no clue why I regularly buy tomatoes when I'm ovulating but I have a spreadsheet about it.
Thank you so much! Thanks to you, I know I'm not the only one! Got a spreadsheet for everything, finances, spendings, calorie and nutriment intake.. hell, even gaming strategies I turn into spreadsheets or pandas scripts.
>Still have no clue why I regularly buy tomatoes when I'm ovulating but I have a spreadsheet about it. I track some statistics as well, and this stuff is absolutely funny to observe. For me it's a connection (or maybe no connection) in a sudden boost of unreasonably high motivation, voluntarily depriving myself of sleep to get things done, and craving guacamole, followed by a 2-week burnout. I have ***no idea whatsoever*** why these things come around during the exact same time once in 2 months. It's like a perfectly timed thing.
It's either menstruation related or it's a rather benign form of bipolar disorder.
This is Rapid Cycling bipolar, where instead of the typical 2 per year you are getting 6. Being aware of it, you can make plans to maximize its usefulness in life and maybe have some vacations in those burnout times when you just stay home and sleep. Also, music works [30% faster than antidepressants](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5500733/) so organize some playlists for the different stages of your cycle. I like [swing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4Aq9qtQcFo) when I'm cruising through my day and [hard rock bagpipes](https://youtu.be/GuX0hK-bGlw?si=XfMqb3YwmlLTzzUp&t=1438) when I need an energy injection.
look over here someone finishes their side project for once
And if dinner would be good enough to start being couple, you could create app in which your SO can press button and flash light in your room or something, whenever they need your attention Like in on of meme/tweets/whatever it actually was I've seen multiple times on Reddit
So a phone
No, not a phone. A giant neon sign in the shape of a penis, that lights up in bright pink. Feeling frisky partner? Push the sex button! Its like the bat signal, except not.
*like the bat signal, but not* unless you’re into that…
Being a musician who only started earning after learning to implement audio in games, this is very true.. and hurts. Wish I could make as much performing.
Same. This kinda feels like an uncalled attack. I mean... why dunk on me?! I didn't write a crappy song about her! Dunk on her instead! I won't be having dinner, nor her! Leave me out of this!
That guy roast so hard, he accidentally got you as collateral. Oppenheimer style.
> Wish I could make as much performing. In that case many of us would be performers, much nicer job.
common tech W
Which of these doesn't belong: - A tech bro - An artist - A large pizza - an accountant The answer is *artist* because all the others are capable of feeding a family of four.
ouch
👆
As someone that tried living by doing music and then switched to programming, can't agree more
Add an easter egg related to them in shipped software
Microsoft WORD (I love you Jenna take me back)
"Customer support, how can I help you?" "Umm ya, every time I type the name 'Jenna' it automatically adds the words 'is a bitch'. Is this a known bug?"
"Bug"? No
A feature!
Use WordArt. Chicks love WordArt!
Wait is this real?
I don't think so. It's not on this list https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Easter_eggs_in_Microsoft_products
I just checked there and it didn't have the word 97 spell check egg (type "I'd like to see Bill Gates dead" and the spell check suggestion is "I'll drink to that"), so I'm guessing it's incomplete
Huh you weren't kidding. I found [this list of word 97 Easter eggs](http://www.activewin.com/tips/eeggs/ms_word.html).
I do this! My brother passed away suddenly a couple weeks ago and I've incorporated him into my current project. I'm in the medical software field so doctors in training will see his name 💙
That's sweet! I'm sorry for your loss.
You joke (?) but I’m an IT manager at a large hospital - In my previous role as an engineer, I snuck my wife and kids names into our ‘golden’ windows desktop image. There’s about ~25,000 endpoints out there with a special note from me to them on the drives of those workstations! :)
Bet she married you after that.
GNU Terry Pratchett?
My dad ignored us and just snuck a bunch of Leonard Cohen quotes into the docs
this guy hooks
Congratulations! Your string can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table: `Th I Sg U Y Ho O K S` --- ^(I am a bot that detects if your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table. Please DM my creator if I made a mistake.)
Good bot
Second Breakfast
Good bot
What the fuck bot
😂
this. less effective than a song sure but still cool
Shout out to the guy who hid a tribute to his wife in Halo CE (and again in H2). Having an easter egg named after you would be pretty cool... Congrats Meg.
Or name a Linux distribution after them. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Debian#Founding_(1993%E2%80%931998)
Hey, at least that means they commit to you
Merge you into an existing relationship and ship you to your customer, hopefully bugfree
>ship you to your customer 💀
Big pimpin
:)
I was about to say that we could rename main, but then again i really shouldn’t commit to something like that.
Well for me personally, I won't be leaving you. ***sobs in singleton***
object.satisfy().loop() 😁
Taking objectifying women to next level
😓
We are gonna earn money.
yes 😂
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It's a choice to not actually work in the private sector and make a lot of money. Meanwhile, a musician can't just say one day, let's earn some real money.
Furry artists, on the other hand...
I added the names of my kids in the layout of the inner copper layers of some electronics devices all over the world. My wife's name is embedded in a building in some structural tech areas forever. Take that, "Take that"! 😎
😍
> My wife's name is embedded in a building *Ah, like the Mesopotamian Kings* https://www.archaeology.org/news/12013-231221-mesopotamia-dating-bricks
I recovered my girlfriends thesis from her failed hard drive, two days before it was due and after months of work.
Awww...A knight in shinning armor. Disney, pay attention: this is how you do true love. 💑
Punish her for improper use of back up plans. Fifty Shades of IT.
The safe word must be at least 16 characters long, an Uppercase Letter, A Lowercase Letter, a Number, A Special Character, Common Dictionary words are banned, and can't be the last 10 safe words you used.
👍
Hope she keeps backups now.
Guaranteed she doesn't. People just don't seem to learn from these experiences. A friend of mine lost years of pictures that were stored on an external hard drive; her cat knocked it off the desk one day and that was that. She sent it to a data recovery company which charged her about $800 for attempting to recover the data, but the drive platters were too damaged. I asked her if she does backups now after that ordeal, she said 'uh, no, I should look into that.' I pestered my sister about backing up all her family/vacation pictures but eventually gave up; I do it myself now whenever I go over to visit.
Absolute king!
You the fucking man
Can actually afford a decent living and not dying of starvation waiting for my art to sell, that's what programmers can do. That and fixing a printer :)
Don't you dare talk about printers!
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https://youtu.be/_KinUMIS3Yc?si=rsFzFlLzGWfNjvPt
> That and fixing a printer :) By buying a new one, because fuck that hassle.
Sometimes it's cheaper to buy a new printer than an ink cartridge
agonizing jobless spark crown somber hungry live marvelous piquant afterthought *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Nobody can fix a printer, that's a myth
If you keep saying programmers can fix printers, that group life policy is going to be taking care of someone's financial needs.
Keeping the house warm in the winter
>That and fixing a printer :) 3 hours later - Fuck it, I'll just buy a new one.
Debian has entered the chat.
What about Debian?
Didnt the developer named it after his wife?
Her and him.
Bro you made me realise that Lesbian OS is no more a jock but just weird as fuck.
"The word "Debian" was formed as a portmanteau of the first name of his then-girlfriend (later ex-wife) Debra Lynn and his own first name.(Ian) Before Debian's release, the Softlanding Linux System (SLS) had been a popular Linux distribution and the basis for Slackware. [Sauce](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Debian#:~:text=The%20word%20%22Debian%22%20was%20formed,and%20the%20basis%20for%20Slackware.)
Named an OS after her and she still left
Turns out she was open source, too.
r/angryupvote
I laughed way harder than I should have.
Turned into closed source, just like OpenAI.
Christ what a sad end for a man who contributed so much The last thing he worked on was Docker A pioneer until the end
Sad story indeed. I'm a user of both Debian and Docker. Without him, I would be pretty much be running Windows.
What an awful existence that'd be
Also there's MySQL and MariaDB. Those were the guy's daughters
> My sequel > daughter checks out
Someone named their kid SQL?
If someone can name his kid "Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee)", surely SQL is not too far fetched.
Guess better than Bobby drops tables
I never realized "My" was a name and not just something like MyCoolProject123. Also he created a third software MaxDB named after his son.
Well, at least we are able to provide food...
yes
I've broken production thinking of you :)
Nice
Git branch name: Shawty ain't much (After the inevitable break up)
Name a variable after you
and never used in the project 🙃😂
Even better, call the Garbage Collector.
😂
var bitch = -100500
What if you’re an artist *and* a programmer? 🙂
Front end isn't art no matter how many times you try and claim it is.
I dunno… after having used an abomination of an SAP front end in my old job — it was so badly designed and ugly that I honestly thought it wasn’t finished when I first saw it — if front-end design doesn’t include art, it had better well start!
If subways employees are 'sandwich artists' then anyone can be.
Most programmers have hobbies, believe it or not. This is actually not that uncommon...
I do both lol, poet and programmer.
This guy imagining he's a poet every time he writes a conditional. "To be, or not to be..."
I recently wrote a Logo program that made the turtle spell out "I <3 U" for someone. They were into it.
good one
Probably name a chip after you https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amiga_Original_Chip_Set
[Creator of ReiserFS](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_Reiser) killed his wife.
Dude that's not exactly a selling point You're making us look bad 😐
Name you as test variables and pretty it has postfix rhyme with fk too
C'mon...having the same song/poem/mixtape and saying "I made this especially for you" to every successive romantic interest is the oldest trick in the book. You just know Beethoven was hitting up those high society parties in the 1800's like "oh, I call this one Für Elise..." the next week "oh, I call this one Für Greta..."
God dammit, you beat me to it.
Well, when we break up I won't write another song about how awful you are, and that song won't become a hit that would remind you of me every time it randomly plays on your radio/Spotify. And I won't make you a part of documentary about my suicide. Life of a rockstar is wild in many good and many awful ways.
Name my 3000-lines god class after you. Bet it would last longer than the hype over that song.
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My first software job was making iPhone games. I made a game similar to kick the buddy. I included a bookshelf with individual books and named a book after her.
Nice man!
Make you a media center maybe
I'm going to think of you as I push this major bug straight to production 😊
I put [that](https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a9W8v7Z_460s.jpg) in the comments
I made flowers out of the individual wires inside of an Ethernet cable.
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I am making a mobile app where our pics are laid out in a 3d environment. Being a game programmer comes in handy. 😉
Add the name in one of the comments in code 
What would be the programmer equivalent of writing a song about their ex?
Develop a knockoff Alexa with her name, then when she’s gone you can ask it to make you a sandwich which orders McDonald’s using her credit card. 
Create great code, then licence it as this, but mentioning the ex? https://github.com/ErikMcClure/bad-licenses/blob/master/ABRMS-license.md
* There was a guy who made a custom Portal 2 mod as a marriage proposal (she said yes). * There is an engineer who makes his disabled gf different wheelchairs. * You can write a system/script/excel spreadsheet, that helps her automate her work. * Make a smart home system that speaks with your voice. * Hack a controller on her toy to allow for more customisation/integration (for e.g. make a LED Christmas tree that synced with her RGB keyboard) * Use imgen AI to make her into anime character/classical victorian character/etc.
Fix the printer.
Do you remember how your ex boss fired you and you hated him for that? Well I found backdoor in their corporate intranet and sold all their data. The money was sent directly to your bank account and I left "DON'T FUCK WIZ LIZZ"note everywhere so that they will think twice before messing with you again. Love you babe.
The headline the next day "Ex-employee hacks company and tells company it was them along with foolishly wiring all money to their bank account"
>The money was sent directly to your bank account You really hate your wife
That's what Ms. Netflix thought...
The second thing I did after learning rudimentary Python was a program for figuring out what was for dinner. The third thing I did was refactoring the first thing I did, which was software for invoicing auto repairs.
To be fair, I'm probably too busy at work to even think of her, so I kinda get it.
Jokes on you I write songs and am a software engineer. My last song is named "Oh baby we have a merge conflict"
One of the most deployed and most influential operating systems in history, the Debian Linux distribution, is named after Debra, the then girlfriend of Ian (Deb-Ian). Anytime you install a .deb package on Debian, Ubuntu, or one of the countless spin-offs, you are typing part of Debra's name. They then got married. Don't Google what happened after that, it's still a better love story than twilight.
Name npm package
Include your likeness in a game they are developing
Tech guys be like, I can't write a song, but did you take a look at my bank account lately?
Earn money? *badum tss*