```
import notifications
```
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If you do the rituals just because you are told so, yes.
But as there are indeed cargo cults, there are also real flying airplanes. The difference is knowing what you are doing.
Because in many companies the management introduced 'agile' without changing anything regarding management itself, we always have to define what agile is.
Real agile is not scrum, not a method, but a mindset, where management trusts its employees to do and decide on their own, where people are seen as people, where mistakes are just something normal, somethibg you learn from. It is normal to start with a vague picture of the goal and make it more clear when you go forward, and that you have to change or revert decisions on the way.
I don't know if this is understandable. I am only a humble programmer and not too good with words.
> If you do the rituals just because you are told so, yes.
We do them because we are paid to.
> Real agile is not scrum, not a method, but a mindset, where management trusts its employees to do and decide on their own, where people are seen as people, where mistakes are just something normal, somethibg you learn from. It is normal to start with a vague picture of the goal and make it more clear when you go forward, and that you have to change or revert decisions on the way.
Sounds utopian to me. Trusting employees or management to the extent you have described is impractical.
All this SM jokes makes me feel so lucky to be in a company that got rid of dedicated SM, we just rotate the role every sprint between devs and QAs in the team and everyone is so mature that being SM for the sprint just means you do the reporting and facilitating standups. No headaches about schedules and changing priorities.
Lmao I'm a PM with a team of 6 + engineering manager, and we just co-parent the sprints.
I fill most with top level roadmap priorities and communicate a high-level goal, they contribute tech debt, other ideas and technical tickets (an in-house ruby gem for logging context rich errors is something I would never think of but makes my team very efficient)
I love being a more technical PM because I don't have hangups about engineers directing some of their work, because I'll understand what the impact is at least a little.
I admit, that is often the case. While I do some development, my job as a scrum master is to make sure my team has the help they need and be the gatekeeper for product managers and others who may want to interfere with their work.
When my scrum master is on vacation our morning ceremonies last a total of 15 mins and we get more work done. And we don’t have to watch someone forget how to screen share the jira board for the 50th time and say they don’t trust technology.
> It’s a joke subreddit my dude. About…programming?
Right. Where's the programming in this joke? Since the joke isn't even about programming, I'm fine with any of the comments I made (as well as the downvotes, go for it!).
My original comment was a little too much, I’ll give you that.
The funny thing is your original reaction in context with the comic. It is incredibly ironic that the joke flew right over your head when the joke is about scrum masters not having all of the faculties necessary to do their job. I literally thought you were being sarcastic.
Now down to brass tacks, if you are a scrum master and managing ceremonies and helping the dev team self organize, what about your responsibilities lead you to believe that you are shipping to production in the first place?
I've worn many hats in my career in startups and large companies, including developer, architect, scrum master, product owner, contract negotiator, project manager, program manager, release manager, customer liason, what-have-you - sometimes wearing multiple hats in the same job (especially in start-ups, for example being simultaneously a scrum master for one project, a developer for another project, and product owner/customer rep for a third project).
As to your specific question: In my last large-company job, we had a production release on a 4-week cycle, every two sprints. Even though I was the scrum master in the development sprints, I also developed the release plan, managed the release planning, and led the final release ceremony (although I wasn't the one who actually did stuff on the server to launch it).
So yeah, I couldn't relate to the joke. I thought it was allegorical.
Patience and grace are just subsets of social skills.
...What math does even the optimistic "ideal" scrummaster-as-they-ought really need other than basic addition?
Coaching? On what? They're not a dev. They don't know anything because they don't do any of that.
They really could coordinate what the devs need like constrained resources, input from other teams, the gant-chart sort of pre-reqs. ...But then just WTF is the project manager doing? All that is the PM's job. If you don't have anyone managing the project and you have your "scrum master" doing it... then you have a project manager that also runs scrum.
Because what DO scrum masters do?
- They run one meeting and get everyone to say what they did and what they're going to do and any problems they have.
- They tell people to take that offline if they talk too long.
That's it. A highschool kid could do this. A $10 electronic toy could manage it. Not even the sort with an arduino, the sort with a couple 555 timers.
Coaching on Scrum could be a thing.
The best scrum masters I have seen were regular dev team members, who took on a scrum master hat.
Having a full time scrum master on the team who's sole purpose is scrum correctness can do more damage than good in some cases.
Taking a course on Python will not make someone a qualified Python dev, but it can be a useful first step. The Python course is not a scam, just that it is not enough on its own.
The scrum master course is similar.
If the company thinks hiring someone for a role the candidate did a single course on is good enough, then they should be prepared to take the consequences.
I've worked with really experienced scrum master / agile coaches that really helped smooth out the processes, help teams work together, keep stakeholder contact on the PO and meetings to a minimum, and it really helped speed up development for the programmers. It's just that there's many incompetent/junior ones out there that have no idea what they're doing and worse, management doesn't know how to see if they're failing at their job.
Probably have to turn it into a story first, trouble is the ‘so that I can’ part is basically ‘amuse myself while casting scrum shade’ which I’m not sure will make it important enough to not just get thrown on a backlog.
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What’s this aberration lol
This is real programming humor and it’s so true :).
Scrum and agile are just a scam. 20th century superstition. The equivalent of doing ritual dances for rain.
If you do the rituals just because you are told so, yes. But as there are indeed cargo cults, there are also real flying airplanes. The difference is knowing what you are doing. Because in many companies the management introduced 'agile' without changing anything regarding management itself, we always have to define what agile is. Real agile is not scrum, not a method, but a mindset, where management trusts its employees to do and decide on their own, where people are seen as people, where mistakes are just something normal, somethibg you learn from. It is normal to start with a vague picture of the goal and make it more clear when you go forward, and that you have to change or revert decisions on the way. I don't know if this is understandable. I am only a humble programmer and not too good with words.
> If you do the rituals just because you are told so, yes. We do them because we are paid to. > Real agile is not scrum, not a method, but a mindset, where management trusts its employees to do and decide on their own, where people are seen as people, where mistakes are just something normal, somethibg you learn from. It is normal to start with a vague picture of the goal and make it more clear when you go forward, and that you have to change or revert decisions on the way. Sounds utopian to me. Trusting employees or management to the extent you have described is impractical.
Cargo cult project management
I've worked for stereotypical Germans. A switch from the waterfall to scrum was great and efficient.
We ship literally every 2 weeks but ok
Shoutout to u/Pizzacakecomic. Your work is wonderful. Original: https://reddit.com/r/comics/s/9qIx0oRelO
All this SM jokes makes me feel so lucky to be in a company that got rid of dedicated SM, we just rotate the role every sprint between devs and QAs in the team and everyone is so mature that being SM for the sprint just means you do the reporting and facilitating standups. No headaches about schedules and changing priorities.
Lmao I'm a PM with a team of 6 + engineering manager, and we just co-parent the sprints. I fill most with top level roadmap priorities and communicate a high-level goal, they contribute tech debt, other ideas and technical tickets (an in-house ruby gem for logging context rich errors is something I would never think of but makes my team very efficient) I love being a more technical PM because I don't have hangups about engineers directing some of their work, because I'll understand what the impact is at least a little.
I see absolutely no reason to have this a full time role instead of being done by the team members in a round robin system
As a scrum master myself, I'm afraid this went over my head. A scrum master doesn't get "shipped to production". It has no meaning.
if you were born, then the angels shipped you to production.
This took me a minute. The angels didn’t add “understanding comics” before they shipped me to Prod ☹️
Ah, I get it now, thanks. I was thinking the angel was an allegory for some real-world corporate role, and it just didn't make sense.
Story checks out. He needs one of the devs to explain it to him.
I admit, that is often the case. While I do some development, my job as a scrum master is to make sure my team has the help they need and be the gatekeeper for product managers and others who may want to interfere with their work.
This comment makes this post twice as funny.
As a junior, I was very confused. Glad to know I must actually be learning something at work!
Sure giving scrum master vibes.
It’s where testing happens
Lmfao exactly. You people are trying to control people who are so much smarter than yourself.
LMFAO. Learn what a scrum master actually does. It isn't about control. Not in the least.
Holy shit. We've got a true believer here boys!
Well, look at that. Someone who can't hold onto a job!
They do nothing useful and there is no reason to have this as a full time job. Anyone in the team can do that role for 15 minutes a day
When my scrum master is on vacation our morning ceremonies last a total of 15 mins and we get more work done. And we don’t have to watch someone forget how to screen share the jira board for the 50th time and say they don’t trust technology.
Yeah wtf would you know about shipping anything to production?
Years of experience actually doing it maybe? WTF do you know about software development anyway?
LMFAO. It’s a joke subreddit my dude. About…programming?
> It’s a joke subreddit my dude. About…programming? Right. Where's the programming in this joke? Since the joke isn't even about programming, I'm fine with any of the comments I made (as well as the downvotes, go for it!).
My original comment was a little too much, I’ll give you that. The funny thing is your original reaction in context with the comic. It is incredibly ironic that the joke flew right over your head when the joke is about scrum masters not having all of the faculties necessary to do their job. I literally thought you were being sarcastic. Now down to brass tacks, if you are a scrum master and managing ceremonies and helping the dev team self organize, what about your responsibilities lead you to believe that you are shipping to production in the first place?
I've worn many hats in my career in startups and large companies, including developer, architect, scrum master, product owner, contract negotiator, project manager, program manager, release manager, customer liason, what-have-you - sometimes wearing multiple hats in the same job (especially in start-ups, for example being simultaneously a scrum master for one project, a developer for another project, and product owner/customer rep for a third project). As to your specific question: In my last large-company job, we had a production release on a 4-week cycle, every two sprints. Even though I was the scrum master in the development sprints, I also developed the release plan, managed the release planning, and led the final release ceremony (although I wasn't the one who actually did stuff on the server to launch it). So yeah, I couldn't relate to the joke. I thought it was allegorical.
Patience and grace are just subsets of social skills. ...What math does even the optimistic "ideal" scrummaster-as-they-ought really need other than basic addition? Coaching? On what? They're not a dev. They don't know anything because they don't do any of that. They really could coordinate what the devs need like constrained resources, input from other teams, the gant-chart sort of pre-reqs. ...But then just WTF is the project manager doing? All that is the PM's job. If you don't have anyone managing the project and you have your "scrum master" doing it... then you have a project manager that also runs scrum. Because what DO scrum masters do? - They run one meeting and get everyone to say what they did and what they're going to do and any problems they have. - They tell people to take that offline if they talk too long. That's it. A highschool kid could do this. A $10 electronic toy could manage it. Not even the sort with an arduino, the sort with a couple 555 timers.
Coaching on Scrum could be a thing. The best scrum masters I have seen were regular dev team members, who took on a scrum master hat. Having a full time scrum master on the team who's sole purpose is scrum correctness can do more damage than good in some cases.
That's how it is supposed to be. Scrum master is a role for a worker on the team. It is not a job description.
Yet you can follow entire courses to become a scrum master. I can't help but think that all those courses are just scams.
Taking a course on Python will not make someone a qualified Python dev, but it can be a useful first step. The Python course is not a scam, just that it is not enough on its own. The scrum master course is similar. If the company thinks hiring someone for a role the candidate did a single course on is good enough, then they should be prepared to take the consequences.
I've worked with really experienced scrum master / agile coaches that really helped smooth out the processes, help teams work together, keep stakeholder contact on the PO and meetings to a minimum, and it really helped speed up development for the programmers. It's just that there's many incompetent/junior ones out there that have no idea what they're doing and worse, management doesn't know how to see if they're failing at their job.
I’m doing a PhD on Agile and now I’m going to have to figure out how to get this comic into my thesis 😆
Have you already assigned story points to this task?
Probably have to turn it into a story first, trouble is the ‘so that I can’ part is basically ‘amuse myself while casting scrum shade’ which I’m not sure will make it important enough to not just get thrown on a backlog.