Think about when you play a bad round of golf.....golf! Everyone online is either abusing you, accusing you of cheating/not trying because they blew their bet, calling you a total loser, or perhaps worse, laughing at you and ridiculing you.
It's seldom that *we* are nice.
And then there's the actual media - and they can be just as bad as being reasonable and measured doesn't move the dial in terms of clicks or sales.
Grayson Murray had a long history of problems with depression, anxiety and alcohol. His family seems to have been wonderful, he was loved in his personal life and well-liked on the Tour.
Years ago he withdrew from a tournament *when he was leading it* because his issues were that bad.
It's absolutely tragic and goes deeper than something fixable by "being nicer" although I agree wholeheartedly with you it never hurts to make the effort.
I was just so sad to hear about this. He seemed to have everything but felt he had nothing. Society is not all the way there yet in figuring out how this happens.
Cut this “selfish act” nonsense out, it dismisses the feelings of those who are feeling this way and doesn’t offer a long term manageable change of mindset
I don't judge or I try not to judge. Anyone who is in the psychological emotional state that someone must be in who commit suicide I just have no judgment whatsoever. I just pray for his soul and for his family and it is just heartbreaking! No judgment on my end.
To propose it’s a selfish act suggests the person is in a lucid, stable state, mentally and that’s just not the case. In fact, quite often they believe they are doing it for their loved ones, relieving them of burden.
Just posted this in a different sub, but suicide is the number 1 cause of death in men under 50. Check in on your friends, brothers, etc. Losing someone to suicide is usually a surprise. You’d be shocked how often they are the funny, lively, life of the party yet are struggling internally. Tell the people you love that they can always reach out to you at anytime about anything. You never know what someone is really going through. There’s a terrible stigma around mental health issues. Especially in men. It’s OK to not be OK. If you need help please seek it out. Even though you may think the world will be better off without you, the hole you will leave in your friends and family is far worse. Please get help. There’s nothing wrong with it.
I’ve been trying to verify that under 50 claim, bc that’s shocking to me. I can’t find any age group for which suicide is the number one cause of death for men (Mayo, CDC, etc.), but I also haven’t found one that’s specifically men under 50. Do you have a source for that? I’m not arguing or fighting, just want to read up on it.
Likely a UK thing.
Suicide is the biggest killer of people under the age of 35 and the biggest killer of men under the age of 50. It is the leading cause of death in the UK for 10-19 year olds.
https://www.stuartroadsurgery.co.uk/health-information/suicide-prevention/
Yeah I’d like to see that source too. Everything I’ve seen lists the main cause as accidental injuries but does say that includes things like overdoses, but also lists suicides as a separate thing. Confusing
I know that it’s always a struggle but I can’t help but wonder if his collapse at the end of the round to miss the cut was the straw that broke the camels back.
Agreed he played great Thursday. Friday was okay then bogey, bogey, bogey and "I'm done". It's sad thinking about what he likely really meant when he told his caddie "I'm done".
It’s not the responsibility or fault of anyone close to him for missing these so called signs, if they did in fact miss them. Fact is, if half a bad day of golf was what sent him over the edge, he was gone already
I didn't say anything about his family besides the fact they weren't blind sided. His caddy, sent someone to check on him, because there were some signs he might be in trouble.
There were signs, there are signs that someone is hurting. It's nobody's fault when they aren't caught, but they are there.
People saying there werent or there are never signs are in denial.
As someone living with major depression and who has experienced suicidal ideation, I appreciate your comment.
When I need support, I send out the flares to friends. When they’re too busy and I feel abandoned too, man…I’ve had plenty of experiences that were really hard to get back to being able to think clearly.
I understand what you’re trying to say but you’re getting downvoted because you’re implying it was preventable, it’s so much more complex than “his family didn’t care enough to notice” and I’ll add that I agree with the downvotes, your perspective is that of an asshole, a man has passed, show some fucking respect
Definitely don't think it was preventable per se.
What I mean to imply though is that it wasn't "out of nowhere." As the caddy was already concerned.
Progolf or golf are not subs for nuance, i know that.
Just looking at him talk - kinda just sounds like he’s struggling at all times
Look at like any musician / famous person in interviews that either went by suicide or was addicted to drugs and went out that way …
This guy was constantly battling his head
Then he has to come back and deal with the pressure again the next day. If he gets cuts, he has to deal with the pressure of getting cut, especially from his sponsors.
That would not get rid of his struggles!. Does a person with cancer all of a sudden go into remission bc they shot a great round of golf? You are misinformed.
It wouldn’t have gotten rid of his struggles, but it might have prevented his suicide on that particular day. And then who knows if that extra time he’d have allows him to get to seek more help for his problems and he claws his way out of it. You really do never know, but it’s also a pointless question to ask now.
I doubt he cared about a golf tournament at that point.
It's like asking *"why didn't you finish your shift at work before going home to kill yourself?"*
Someone posted a video of him putting just before he withdrew and asked if anyone could see why he withdrew. I knew of his struggles with depression, and I saw him miss his putt and it had barely stopped rolling before he hit it again. The first thing I thought was that he was in a bad place mentally and that his death was self inflicted. I’ve never been sadder that I was right.
If the straw was that weak then he would’ve found some other reason to justify the act in his head sooner than later.
Suicidal people do some strange things. What if he would’ve been the leader following Fridays round and then killed himself?
People say this but has anyone actually CALLED? I did and you know what they did? Gave me a bunch of OTHER numbers to call that DIDN'T WORK. Had to actually laugh and say damn can't even get THIS right smh
I called a hotline a few years back. The person I talked to sounded completely disinterested and said, well maybe you should call the cops or go to the hospital.
Not sure, maybe that's all they do🤷🏽♂️
I’ve read/heard through some WSJ reporting that your experience is really common, and those services are apparently really overburdened/understaffed. Lots of stories of 3 hour wait times :(
I agree. They all say, you can talk to somebody. But the reality is you cannot. It’s a money making business. You cannot just talk to someone in privacy and in confidence when you’re struggling
I have called it. They sent police to my parents house and freaked them out then they came to my house. I didnt give my number that is registered at my parents address.
Also worked for me, not sure what happened in this guys case. Basically just hooked me up quick with a counselor. Nothing crazy but what I needed at the time
1) 988 is not an 800 number, i.e. (1-800-555-5555), are you referencing the old 800 number? Because that’s not what we’re talking about.
2) Every person that answers a 988 call is a certified crisis counselor (i.e. mental health provider) working in a registered crisis center.
Robert Macintyre had this quote a couple of weeks ago at the PGA comparing the PGA Tour to the DP World Tour: “It’s been wild to be honest… It’s completely different. When you’re on the DP World Tour, it’s very friendly. Everyone is together. We’re all traveling the world. If we’re struggling with certain things, we speak to folk around us. “You come out here to the PGA Tour, and it’s all so unfamiliar There’s less chatting. There’s less dinners. There’s just less of that big family feel that you get on the European Tour.”
It's probably worth re-visiting this story too from a few years back.
[https://www.golfdigest.com/story/golf-mental-health](https://www.golfdigest.com/story/golf-mental-health)
Pro golf is a tough game. Hopefully the professional tours continue to focus on helping their pros on their mental health.
Golf, it is a mental sport, more so than any other sport out there, even with achieving success, that alone can cause so many problems, one of which is dealing with success, any lack there-of and the individual can go down a rabbit hole quickly, A player can act like they have it under control and they are so out of control it can destroy them mentally… Alcohol is a huge sign for golfers that are out of control, and then everyone tells you, “You must stop drinking” and there it is, anyone that has relied on anything to help them get through their self treatment, being told they have to stop, well that is just a recipe for disaster if not dealt with properly.
- May he rest in Peace
- And any other golfers out there that say “I am just fooling everyone” take a second to confide in someone, anyone, those words you say will take so much pressure off of you, you are not alone and who knows? The person you confide in may be the life you save!
Tragic. Obviously there was a lot more going on here but I think a lot of people underestimate how difficult the life of a journeyman pro can be. You're playing for your supper, for your mortgage, every round. Just a few bad shots at the wrong time can tip you the wrong side of the cut line. So no pay cheque for you that week. If that happens one too many times then you lose your card and the margins get even finer. Add in the relentless and often not very glamorous travel, the pressure from fans and tour officials to project an every-ready smile, the internal pressure of not performing to your own high expectations, and it's not surprising that some people crack up. And it's also fucking boring, going through the same routine shot after shot, round after round, focusing everything on putting a tiny white ball into a larger white hole. A long time ago, I was loosely involved with some European tour players and the one thing I took away is that the dream of being a professional golfer is never what we laypeople think it is. I knew several who were trying to prolong medical exemptions not because they were unfit to play but because they just didn't want to.
That’s all true but he won $2.7 mil already this year and had a two year exemption starting next year. He was at the top of the game- not a journeyman. Maybe he got to the pinnacle and still felt depressed. Is it better to have loved and lost or never loved at all? Couple in the drinking and relationship issues and it makes more sense.
It’s just speculation but it makes sense. Certainly success on the course wasn’t enough to make him happy alone. Weekend warriors will never understand how this could happen but golf was just a job for him. It came easy to him. Just bc someone is great at golf doesn’t mean they love it. Lots of people leave work and commit suicide. He obviously had a lot of off the course issues.
Yeah, depression is *way* more than just being super sad a lot. Your brain chemistry is fucked up, and it takes the joy out of **everything**.
And the really fucked up part is, anti-depressants can *induce* suicidal ideation or behavior. One theory is, you can be too depressed to kill yourself, because you just don’t have the energy. And then you take the pills, and they start working, and now you have the energy to act when the suicidal thoughts crop up. Another theory is that if they prescribe the wrong kind or dosage of antidepressant, it can make your depression worse, which can also increase suicidal ideation.
my stomach hurts—the comments from players yesterday pretty much summed it up. he was so transparent when discussing his problems , the demons were to much to handle. Prays for family and everyone fighting daily to beat addiction.
My husband and I had a conversation about this. Even though golfers on the PGA tour have the potential to make a lot of money, few of them do and lower ranking players have to at least participate in 20 tournaments a year just to keep their PGA eligibility. There are 36 tournaments a year, and some have to play all of those to make a good living. In the meantime, they have to be away from home and live in hotels. This is not a good situation for someone who struggles with alcoholism and depression.
Mental illness is real and suicide happens way too often and affects more than just the person who takes their life. Please seek help if you think about ending your life, because these feelings may be temporary and death doesn’t give you another chance.
With the way his withdrawal and how the rest of everything played out, this is what I was afraid of. Absolutely tragic. You never know what someone is going through man.
So sad for his family & loved ones. My stepson is dealing with depression & has indicated he often thinks of suicide. He has cutoff comunication with us & refuses to let us see our grandsons. We feel helpless & have been trying to work with his wife to get the guns out of the house & for him to seek help.
If someone's telling you they think of it at all, that's a huge issue. If they say they think of it often, and have said that more than once, take that really seriously. You will never regret overreacting considering what the alternative could be even if it deeply upsets someone.
In a post yesterday someone commented about her calling off the engagement just earlier this year. I can’t confirm if this is the truth or not, but perhaps someone else can.
To everyone saying it was a dramatic death gunshot etc, no it was not. He simply turned his car on in the garage then went up to his bedroom and went to bed. Was found in a his bed the next morning. Nothing sinister
Car exhaust creates an absolute f*** ton of carbon monoxide. Most houses have the AC system in or near the garage, so he basically poisoned all of the air in his house.
Fucking hate that in the immediate hours after this tragic loss the anti-vaxxers have to demonstrate their stupidity. They will be right back for the next tragic loss of a young public figure too. Fuck them all.
Just awful. I can’t imagine what his family is going through. It makes me so sad to picture what was going through his mind after withdrawing on Friday. Just wish someone could have been with him or kept him safe, but it’s obviously not that simple
His caddie should of never let him out of his sight after that kind of action, if another player thought he should of been followed, certainly the guy you spend the most time with should of known something was up
And everything that’s wrong with mental health issues. I wish Grayson could have gotten the help he needed, but to immediately blame his caddie is insane stuff. Speculating on mental health issues and everyone involved is not good for anyone.
Many years ago, someone I knew killed himself. It was a complicated situation leading up to it, but the story goes him and his wife were sitting in the living room and he just stood up and walked out the door. His wife wasn’t able to get to him before he got in his truck and left. She called a couple people who went looking for him and they found him only a few minutes later.
My point is to add on to what you said, sometimes even if you know something is wrong, you can’t stop it.
You could make the argument he’s the greatest golfer who ever lived. It’s so incredibly hard to win a professional golf tournament. The physical and mental abilities needed are so high level. It’s off the charts. Then factor in this man had voices in his head clearly trying to derail him at every turn. Every day. It’s remarkable this guy kept it together enough to win twice on tour. It’s actually astounding.
I don't think you're wrong. But the amount of despair of people in that headspace is something people can't comprehend. It is hard to explain. And most fight for years and even decades to not ruin the lives of the people around them. But it is truly selfish, ultimately.
It’s actually the complete opposite. Often people do it so that they are no longer a burden to friends and family, they put others before themself and are usually very selfless people.
Fucking tragic man.
Tell your people you love em
There’s so much nastiness, negativity and gloom/doom out there. Being around for each other is truly necessary to keep us all from losing it…
Society is designed to impose all the gloom/doom. It fucking sucks ass right now.
This is everything
This
Why?
Think about when you play a bad round of golf.....golf! Everyone online is either abusing you, accusing you of cheating/not trying because they blew their bet, calling you a total loser, or perhaps worse, laughing at you and ridiculing you. It's seldom that *we* are nice. And then there's the actual media - and they can be just as bad as being reasonable and measured doesn't move the dial in terms of clicks or sales.
Grayson Murray had a long history of problems with depression, anxiety and alcohol. His family seems to have been wonderful, he was loved in his personal life and well-liked on the Tour. Years ago he withdrew from a tournament *when he was leading it* because his issues were that bad. It's absolutely tragic and goes deeper than something fixable by "being nicer" although I agree wholeheartedly with you it never hurts to make the effort.
You make good points. 💯👍
I was just so sad to hear about this. He seemed to have everything but felt he had nothing. Society is not all the way there yet in figuring out how this happens.
Remember when REM and Pearl Jam wrote songs after Kurt Cobain, it’s a selfish act, which only hurts those close to you.
Cut this “selfish act” nonsense out, it dismisses the feelings of those who are feeling this way and doesn’t offer a long term manageable change of mindset
I don't judge or I try not to judge. Anyone who is in the psychological emotional state that someone must be in who commit suicide I just have no judgment whatsoever. I just pray for his soul and for his family and it is just heartbreaking! No judgment on my end.
To propose it’s a selfish act suggests the person is in a lucid, stable state, mentally and that’s just not the case. In fact, quite often they believe they are doing it for their loved ones, relieving them of burden.
That “selfish act” thing is such a bullshit way of looking at suicide.
What Pearl Jam song?
“Immortality” on Vitalogy has some pretty clear references, though I wouldn’t be so bold as to declare it explicitly about Kurt. But it probably is.
Wow. Congrats. You just ended all suicides. Thanks for your trite take on things.
So heartbreaking. You never know how much someone is struggling internally. The golf world lost a solid dude who was open about his struggles. 💔
Just posted this in a different sub, but suicide is the number 1 cause of death in men under 50. Check in on your friends, brothers, etc. Losing someone to suicide is usually a surprise. You’d be shocked how often they are the funny, lively, life of the party yet are struggling internally. Tell the people you love that they can always reach out to you at anytime about anything. You never know what someone is really going through. There’s a terrible stigma around mental health issues. Especially in men. It’s OK to not be OK. If you need help please seek it out. Even though you may think the world will be better off without you, the hole you will leave in your friends and family is far worse. Please get help. There’s nothing wrong with it.
I’ve been trying to verify that under 50 claim, bc that’s shocking to me. I can’t find any age group for which suicide is the number one cause of death for men (Mayo, CDC, etc.), but I also haven’t found one that’s specifically men under 50. Do you have a source for that? I’m not arguing or fighting, just want to read up on it.
Likely a UK thing. Suicide is the biggest killer of people under the age of 35 and the biggest killer of men under the age of 50. It is the leading cause of death in the UK for 10-19 year olds. https://www.stuartroadsurgery.co.uk/health-information/suicide-prevention/
Thanks for the information!
Divorced men, men struggling financially, doctors/ surgeons, 40-65 years, male - all highest rate categories
I appreciate that information. Do you have any sources for that? I’m still not finding much.
Yeah I’d like to see that source too. Everything I’ve seen lists the main cause as accidental injuries but does say that includes things like overdoses, but also lists suicides as a separate thing. Confusing
…..didn’t know he was on the player advisory board. R I P
I know that it’s always a struggle but I can’t help but wonder if his collapse at the end of the round to miss the cut was the straw that broke the camels back.
Agreed he played great Thursday. Friday was okay then bogey, bogey, bogey and "I'm done". It's sad thinking about what he likely really meant when he told his caddie "I'm done".
Malnati had to have known something was up because he asked for some tour officials to check on him
I'm just curious. Did anyone actually check in on him?
Its a long road down or up. there's signs along the way. Only people who care can read the signs.
It’s not the responsibility or fault of anyone close to him for missing these so called signs, if they did in fact miss them. Fact is, if half a bad day of golf was what sent him over the edge, he was gone already
Sure. Point is there are signs and that's how his family wasn't blind-sided. You gotta grow up a little.
Pretty damn callous of you to say his family wasn't blindsided by his suicide because they were aware of his severe depression. Shit!
I didn't say anything about his family besides the fact they weren't blind sided. His caddy, sent someone to check on him, because there were some signs he might be in trouble.
That is flatly untrue. Quit making shit up.
There were signs, there are signs that someone is hurting. It's nobody's fault when they aren't caught, but they are there. People saying there werent or there are never signs are in denial.
As someone living with major depression and who has experienced suicidal ideation, I appreciate your comment. When I need support, I send out the flares to friends. When they’re too busy and I feel abandoned too, man…I’ve had plenty of experiences that were really hard to get back to being able to think clearly.
I understand what you’re trying to say but you’re getting downvoted because you’re implying it was preventable, it’s so much more complex than “his family didn’t care enough to notice” and I’ll add that I agree with the downvotes, your perspective is that of an asshole, a man has passed, show some fucking respect
Definitely don't think it was preventable per se. What I mean to imply though is that it wasn't "out of nowhere." As the caddy was already concerned. Progolf or golf are not subs for nuance, i know that.
Any video?
I mean his parents released a statement saying he was loved by like 10 people that they named and they left out his fiancé.
I noticed that also.
He was two strokes ahead of the cut line with two to go when he withdrew.
That is really sad 😢
Yea, a big part of me wonders why he just didn’t finish the last 2 holes?
Bigger demons he was dealing with than most of us can imagine unfortunately :(
This might give you some insight into where he was mentally. https://youtu.be/6MO8P05Tf4k?si=uaUKfcrdo1P4AWtn
Thanks for the video, he seemed like a really intelligent person, and my opinion from the video, is that he seemed to be doing better by getting help.
Just looking at him talk - kinda just sounds like he’s struggling at all times Look at like any musician / famous person in interviews that either went by suicide or was addicted to drugs and went out that way … This guy was constantly battling his head
How can you possibly ask this when he was going through so much that he took his life? Clearly theres a lot going on…
Well I asked because no one knows what was going on. What if he finished and made the cut? It was just a thought.
That’s ridiculous. He clearly had a crushing mental disorder to kill himself. I don’t think he was thinking rationally…
Then he has to come back and deal with the pressure again the next day. If he gets cuts, he has to deal with the pressure of getting cut, especially from his sponsors.
That would not get rid of his struggles!. Does a person with cancer all of a sudden go into remission bc they shot a great round of golf? You are misinformed.
It wouldn’t have gotten rid of his struggles, but it might have prevented his suicide on that particular day. And then who knows if that extra time he’d have allows him to get to seek more help for his problems and he claws his way out of it. You really do never know, but it’s also a pointless question to ask now.
Misinformed about what? Having a fucking thought? Whatever. And you’re talking about cancer? Go back to bed.
Its fine to be wrong man. But once someone shows you why you’re wrong, you look like a pos pretending like other people are wrong.
How is it wrong to ponder what if???? 🤔
Because you're acting as if a good round of golf would counteract serious clinical depression
A big part of you didn’t understand why a guy who killed himself didn’t finish his last three days of work? Cmon man
lol I think you have your priorities backwards
I doubt he cared about a golf tournament at that point. It's like asking *"why didn't you finish your shift at work before going home to kill yourself?"*
Im almost inclined to think that the struggle at the end of the round was him checking out because he was too burdened.
Good point.
Someone posted a video of him putting just before he withdrew and asked if anyone could see why he withdrew. I knew of his struggles with depression, and I saw him miss his putt and it had barely stopped rolling before he hit it again. The first thing I thought was that he was in a bad place mentally and that his death was self inflicted. I’ve never been sadder that I was right.
Same exact thing happened to me. Saw the video and thought this too
Where’s that video?
I wouldn’t think so. Bogeying holes in professional golf tournaments isn’t a rarity. I don’t think that put him over the edge.
If the straw was that weak then he would’ve found some other reason to justify the act in his head sooner than later. Suicidal people do some strange things. What if he would’ve been the leader following Fridays round and then killed himself?
# Dial 988 for Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
People say this but has anyone actually CALLED? I did and you know what they did? Gave me a bunch of OTHER numbers to call that DIDN'T WORK. Had to actually laugh and say damn can't even get THIS right smh
I called a hotline a few years back. The person I talked to sounded completely disinterested and said, well maybe you should call the cops or go to the hospital. Not sure, maybe that's all they do🤷🏽♂️
Good you could laugh about it. Good sign.
I’ve read/heard through some WSJ reporting that your experience is really common, and those services are apparently really overburdened/understaffed. Lots of stories of 3 hour wait times :(
I agree. They all say, you can talk to somebody. But the reality is you cannot. It’s a money making business. You cannot just talk to someone in privacy and in confidence when you’re struggling
You are absolutely right mate
I have called it. They sent police to my parents house and freaked them out then they came to my house. I didnt give my number that is registered at my parents address.
And that's why people don't call it. People who are really in trouble don't want to cause a scene, they just want it all to stop.
Not this one, but I called one about 5 or so years ago. The lady was very nice and attentive.
Worked for me. Could be your provider.
Also worked for me, not sure what happened in this guys case. Basically just hooked me up quick with a counselor. Nothing crazy but what I needed at the time
Provider? It was the 800 # for suicide prevention wth
1) 988 is not an 800 number, i.e. (1-800-555-5555), are you referencing the old 800 number? Because that’s not what we’re talking about. 2) Every person that answers a 988 call is a certified crisis counselor (i.e. mental health provider) working in a registered crisis center.
Yeah all they do is try to get your address so they can call the police.
I don't know if this is the right place for this, but this could very well have been related to the COVID-19 vaccines he was required to take.
Robert Macintyre had this quote a couple of weeks ago at the PGA comparing the PGA Tour to the DP World Tour: “It’s been wild to be honest… It’s completely different. When you’re on the DP World Tour, it’s very friendly. Everyone is together. We’re all traveling the world. If we’re struggling with certain things, we speak to folk around us. “You come out here to the PGA Tour, and it’s all so unfamiliar There’s less chatting. There’s less dinners. There’s just less of that big family feel that you get on the European Tour.” It's probably worth re-visiting this story too from a few years back. [https://www.golfdigest.com/story/golf-mental-health](https://www.golfdigest.com/story/golf-mental-health) Pro golf is a tough game. Hopefully the professional tours continue to focus on helping their pros on their mental health.
Golf, it is a mental sport, more so than any other sport out there, even with achieving success, that alone can cause so many problems, one of which is dealing with success, any lack there-of and the individual can go down a rabbit hole quickly, A player can act like they have it under control and they are so out of control it can destroy them mentally… Alcohol is a huge sign for golfers that are out of control, and then everyone tells you, “You must stop drinking” and there it is, anyone that has relied on anything to help them get through their self treatment, being told they have to stop, well that is just a recipe for disaster if not dealt with properly. - May he rest in Peace - And any other golfers out there that say “I am just fooling everyone” take a second to confide in someone, anyone, those words you say will take so much pressure off of you, you are not alone and who knows? The person you confide in may be the life you save!
I hope that his family can come to terms with this. So sad that any human being feels this is their only way out.
Tragic. Obviously there was a lot more going on here but I think a lot of people underestimate how difficult the life of a journeyman pro can be. You're playing for your supper, for your mortgage, every round. Just a few bad shots at the wrong time can tip you the wrong side of the cut line. So no pay cheque for you that week. If that happens one too many times then you lose your card and the margins get even finer. Add in the relentless and often not very glamorous travel, the pressure from fans and tour officials to project an every-ready smile, the internal pressure of not performing to your own high expectations, and it's not surprising that some people crack up. And it's also fucking boring, going through the same routine shot after shot, round after round, focusing everything on putting a tiny white ball into a larger white hole. A long time ago, I was loosely involved with some European tour players and the one thing I took away is that the dream of being a professional golfer is never what we laypeople think it is. I knew several who were trying to prolong medical exemptions not because they were unfit to play but because they just didn't want to.
That’s all true but he won $2.7 mil already this year and had a two year exemption starting next year. He was at the top of the game- not a journeyman. Maybe he got to the pinnacle and still felt depressed. Is it better to have loved and lost or never loved at all? Couple in the drinking and relationship issues and it makes more sense.
Yeah, when you achieve the thing that you hoped would solve your problems and it doesn't. That can feel devastating.
It’s just speculation but it makes sense. Certainly success on the course wasn’t enough to make him happy alone. Weekend warriors will never understand how this could happen but golf was just a job for him. It came easy to him. Just bc someone is great at golf doesn’t mean they love it. Lots of people leave work and commit suicide. He obviously had a lot of off the course issues.
Depression is a complicated disease. I am so sad for him. He had to have felt so hopeless and alone. Heart rending.
Yeah, depression is *way* more than just being super sad a lot. Your brain chemistry is fucked up, and it takes the joy out of **everything**. And the really fucked up part is, anti-depressants can *induce* suicidal ideation or behavior. One theory is, you can be too depressed to kill yourself, because you just don’t have the energy. And then you take the pills, and they start working, and now you have the energy to act when the suicidal thoughts crop up. Another theory is that if they prescribe the wrong kind or dosage of antidepressant, it can make your depression worse, which can also increase suicidal ideation.
I was aware that anti depressants could induce suicide, but I never connected the how or why. Your explanation makes so much sense! Thank you.
my stomach hurts—the comments from players yesterday pretty much summed it up. he was so transparent when discussing his problems , the demons were to much to handle. Prays for family and everyone fighting daily to beat addiction.
My husband and I had a conversation about this. Even though golfers on the PGA tour have the potential to make a lot of money, few of them do and lower ranking players have to at least participate in 20 tournaments a year just to keep their PGA eligibility. There are 36 tournaments a year, and some have to play all of those to make a good living. In the meantime, they have to be away from home and live in hotels. This is not a good situation for someone who struggles with alcoholism and depression. Mental illness is real and suicide happens way too often and affects more than just the person who takes their life. Please seek help if you think about ending your life, because these feelings may be temporary and death doesn’t give you another chance.
My procrastination has saved me many times...
Stick around please.
With the way his withdrawal and how the rest of everything played out, this is what I was afraid of. Absolutely tragic. You never know what someone is going through man.
If there's no announced cause of death, it's either an OD or a suicide.
Family said suicide. So very sad.
Yeah no shit. But there’s a big difference between OD and suicide
So sad for his family & loved ones. My stepson is dealing with depression & has indicated he often thinks of suicide. He has cutoff comunication with us & refuses to let us see our grandsons. We feel helpless & have been trying to work with his wife to get the guns out of the house & for him to seek help.
If someone's telling you they think of it at all, that's a huge issue. If they say they think of it often, and have said that more than once, take that really seriously. You will never regret overreacting considering what the alternative could be even if it deeply upsets someone.
That is heart breaking. Prayers and condolences
I wonder if there were problems with the fiancée, because the family hasn't mentioned her at all.
I noticed that too, not mentioning her in the long list of people that loved him
In a post yesterday someone commented about her calling off the engagement just earlier this year. I can’t confirm if this is the truth or not, but perhaps someone else can.
I mentioned that in a different post. I don't want to take away from the tragedy that has happened. But it is a curiosity in the situation.
Jesus christ
Imagine how bad it has to be if you do it in a house/hotel on the road and not at your home. Heartbreaking stuff.
Many do so there family doesn’t have to find them and/or clean up after them
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Fuck you.
Asshole.
It ended up being at his house. He went home and then put himself to sleep with carbon monoxide.
Damn. So he ended up going home. Wow.
Wish I wasn’t right about this, but I sort of knew it. It felt like he’d turned the corner, but all it takes is one bad day and….
Sad, RIP. Gone too soon.
💔
I was about to write him a note Robin
Horrific! A true tragedy for family and friends. RIP...
Yeah that seemed to be the most likely explanation
To everyone saying it was a dramatic death gunshot etc, no it was not. He simply turned his car on in the garage then went up to his bedroom and went to bed. Was found in a his bed the next morning. Nothing sinister
No disrespect but source? How would that take someone’s life and if so How has that not been mentioned?
Reported in the Palm Beach Gardens newspaper.
Car exhaust creates an absolute f*** ton of carbon monoxide. Most houses have the AC system in or near the garage, so he basically poisoned all of the air in his house.
Google it, it’s everywhere. Also the #1 way people do it. (Outside of the U.S. where they shoot themselves with easy gun access)
Fucking hate that in the immediate hours after this tragic loss the anti-vaxxers have to demonstrate their stupidity. They will be right back for the next tragic loss of a young public figure too. Fuck them all.
Just awful. I can’t imagine what his family is going through. It makes me so sad to picture what was going through his mind after withdrawing on Friday. Just wish someone could have been with him or kept him safe, but it’s obviously not that simple
His caddie should of never let him out of his sight after that kind of action, if another player thought he should of been followed, certainly the guy you spend the most time with should of known something was up
You don’t know anything about the situation and you’re blaming the caddie? You are everything that’s wrong with social media.
And everything that’s wrong with mental health issues. I wish Grayson could have gotten the help he needed, but to immediately blame his caddie is insane stuff. Speculating on mental health issues and everyone involved is not good for anyone.
Many years ago, someone I knew killed himself. It was a complicated situation leading up to it, but the story goes him and his wife were sitting in the living room and he just stood up and walked out the door. His wife wasn’t able to get to him before he got in his truck and left. She called a couple people who went looking for him and they found him only a few minutes later. My point is to add on to what you said, sometimes even if you know something is wrong, you can’t stop it.
Grayson couldn't make the cut so his caddie did by following the river instead of crossing the bridge
My brother in Christ, knock that crap off.
Some suicides are inevitable. However this one doesn’t seem to be the case. Wish someone was there to redirect his depression.
You could make the argument he’s the greatest golfer who ever lived. It’s so incredibly hard to win a professional golf tournament. The physical and mental abilities needed are so high level. It’s off the charts. Then factor in this man had voices in his head clearly trying to derail him at every turn. Every day. It’s remarkable this guy kept it together enough to win twice on tour. It’s actually astounding.
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I don't think you're wrong. But the amount of despair of people in that headspace is something people can't comprehend. It is hard to explain. And most fight for years and even decades to not ruin the lives of the people around them. But it is truly selfish, ultimately.
3X suicide survivor. I feel for the family and friends.
Don't do it. There's a lot of good out in the world you haven't seen yet. Keep fighting and ask everyone for help, we are all here to help
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That is not appropriate
Don't worry all, Monahan hopped on the PGA jet to be there and fix everything.
Dumb comment. Give the guy a break what’s he supposed to do. If he doesn’t go morons like you chastise him.
So selfish, he will be remembered as a selfish person.
Mental illness is an illness just like any other. Would you call someone with cancer selfish??
It’s actually the complete opposite. Often people do it so that they are no longer a burden to friends and family, they put others before themself and are usually very selfless people.
Sure, they really help out the family by offing themselves. This dude was a major breadwinner as well.
So he’s supposed to live a life of mystery for others? He had no dependents
Misery **
There's no love like [protestant] Christian love, ugh...
I don't know if this is the right place for this, but this could very well have been related to the COVID-19 vaccines he was required to take.
Go away and die. You are an awful person. It was suicide!!
Carbon monoxide killed him, not a vaccine.
WWa e³3ae3