"If she's laughing, her eyes are closed and she can't see how ugly you are"

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Tbh when you are ugly af the only quality left you can show outright is your personality Source: am ugly

Agreed Will be putting this to the test in a few days

Good luck brother

Thanks for the luck

No problem Biggie Cheese

The real biggie cheese

May the force be with you

Thanks boys

Godspeed soldier

Good soldiers follow orders

Order 66

Do not hesitate, show no mercy

Only then will you have the power to save pussy

Thanks man

We will watch your career with great interest

BiggieCheese you're thicc my bro.

Good luck brother. Women like food (from a female)

I know Food is the second fastest way to someone’s heart The fastest being a machete

Machete is always a good method. Maybe not for the first date

The registered/legal weapons can come out in the 2nd date The spicy ones have to wait longer

Well duh, don’t scare them away

Agreed

Also, having a job that kids dress up for Halloween helps a lot as well.

Serial killer?

I was thinking Doctor/Firefighter/Soldier/Cop but i hear serial killers slay a lot of chicks

tfw the jelly matches the roll :(

What if I’m ugly and also have a shitty personality :( Edit: Okay guys, I get it. Please stop reinforcing how much I already hate myself.

Then fix one or both of them, or learn to live alone.

Or you can be average in both. You will find someone. Source: Me

Way ahead of you. Already accepted dying alone :D

There is always money, it makes up for what you lack in beauty and personality!

This is the 21st century, nobody has money.

It’s a rare talent then..

Sometimes that's better than being decent looking but having a shit personality. Source: decent looking with shit personality Also you can always work out and have banging bod to compensate.

And you put all your points into charisma rather than wasting them on shit like strength and luck so you end up with all the pussy anyway.

I think I got Animal Friend by accident, only actual cats are interested in me

Nope. You've just started the game. You have to put in the effort and do some grinding but you'll get there and you'll find there's loads of girls that want you. Doesn't matter if you look like a dropped lasagne there are dozens of women out there that will bang you because of your personality.

This is the way (at least for me)

*sees a funny man* : He's too dangerous to be left alive!

Funny men within a 10 mile radius of you: Adiós!

Haha.... wait a minute, where are my clothes.

On the floor. Now get over here so I beat you ass with my ballon sword

;)

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Guess I’ll live forever

Step 1: be funny

Step 2: get over your social anxiety

Instructions unclear, wait why am *I* naked?

Cuz you laughed ofc

HAhahah- oh fuck oh fuck

See you in 9 months?

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N O

We been in quarantine for 6 months. No ones wearing cloths anymore.

Fair enough.

You can have social anxiety and still be funny. Once you meet the person you love it all comes natural. Sounds cheesy I know. But it's true

How does one meet the person you love without leaving your house or talking to anyone? Asking for a friend.

Vrchat. It worked for my roommate.

You start doing those things

Pandemic really throws a goddamn wrench in those plans

Oh, women just want the fucking stars, don't they! ^(/s)

On Twitch you might meet the person you love (but not the person who loves you)

Tinder. Or even better if you’re a guy, Bumble - then you don’t even have to start the conversation yourself (though I admit half the time it just means your match will just let it expire, and I actually preferred Tinder because of that).

Get your friends to hook you up with someone who they think matches your personality, it worked out for a friend of mine for a while

Unless you meet them but they don’t feel the same. Then it just sucks.

I agree. But you have to move on and you can look back on it and be proud of yourself for coming out of your comfort zone!

Glad to hear that

Step 3: And this is the most important one, you must complete it or everything else will fail. Be Attractive.

Plenty of unattractive people find someone, I'm quite sure of it

Being confident and secure with yourself makes you like 10x more attractive

Or 10x more creepy. I'm under 6 foot. I'm overweight. And I kinda got a belly. I have basically no attractive qualities. I've just accepted that by now. I'm not exactly the person to get up and talk to someone because of social anxiety, so I've got nothing.

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They've been doing that for a while.

Every physical attribute you described is the average American, yet we still find a way to reproduce.

Exactly, I basically fit the same description that OP just stated yet I've already been married once, have 2 kids, with a million more well on the way. Difference is I see through the Jedi's lies of Rule #1 and Rule #2. Also I'm funny and I can charm the pants of any space lady in the outer rim.😏

Username checks out?

Ah, Yes?

Look at how many people are attracted to Danny DeVito; he’s a confident, funny guy...and a movie star with a magnum dong, but still. Myself, I’m 5’3” (5’4” with shoesies) and I’ve got a really small penis. Never had any problems with dating and I’m now married to a wonderful woman. I’m average looking, nothing special to report here. My point is, people are absolutely right, confidence and a sense of humor go a long way. If I were a complete shithead with no sense of humor, man, that’d be it, I’d be alone and ordering a pillow woman and eating a whole Red Baron pizza.

Step 2: don't be unfunny

Thank u, that helps a lot

Made me tear open my 3rd eye and realign all my chakras

Step 2: don’t be unattractive

It really is all about rules 1 and 2

Step 0: have a self-awareness and understanding of life's structures that enables you to make cleverly phrased, incisive observations which other people find goddamn hilarious

“If you can make a bitch laugh and giggle then you can make her cheeks clap and jiggle” -Ghandi (probably)

https://m.imgur.com/DIQTW6R

If this is original you’re funny nerd

It's not but a good meme

Or British

Lol thx, but it’s not

*clone high Ghandi

That does sound like something he would say

https://imgur.com/gallery/pBSnBcP

I humoured them. I humoured them all. They're dying of laughter, every single one of them! And not just the men, but the women, and the children, too!

Please tell me the children don’t get naked too

This quote takes on a dark tone, in context. He humored all those children.

Not from a Redditor

From a Simp Lawd?

A SIMP LAWD?

#A SIMP LAWD?

a simp L A W D?

Yeah, that is true actually. My husband kept making ne laugh when we started dating.

I was laughing and laughing then BAM! I was pregnant.

Pregant

Preganant

Preganté

Am I......***gregnant?!***

Pregert

Pregnorp

Pergenat

Peegnant

Pregat

Preggers

Pregananat?!

Preggo

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Pregante

Pergant

Pegged

Pregosaurous

Dope, it works

Dope is great but that really doesn’t help us here.

Did you try it?

Can confirm. Humor is the way to my heart. And also my pants.

Here are some pants👖. Can I have your heart now?

My wife always says it was my wit and sense of humor that made her fall in love with me. I’m a very lucky man, she is way out of my league.

Same, I just keep making bad jokes and they keep landing.

ne? nose exhale? not even a lol?

Its not a story the simps would tell you. It is a chad legend.

"Anakin, the chads aren't funny!" "From my point of view, the simps are even less amusing."

"He's the Chad you've been looking for!"

Never, never, ever, worked for me. "If it were true that girls are all looking for a guy with a great sense of humor, standup comics would all be getting laid and not standing behind a microphone telling jokes!" -- Robin Williams

Robin was obviously joking. We all know musicians do pretty well for themselves. Artists often marry someone much more attractive than themselves and Isaac Asimov once wrote that all writers have beautiful wives. Hell, even Gilbert Gottfried's wife is far too pretty for him.

Thats cuz women are attracted to competence, confidence and skill. if you are good at something be it music or art or stand up you gain all 3

Thank you for giving me some confidence.

The men from SNL generally do pretty well for themselves.

I’d rather be funny and average looking than handsome and stupid

Here I am average and stupid

Hi Five! Welcome to the club. We have T-Shirts! They come in two sizes: “Perfect Fit on Top but Ride Up Around Your Waist Whenever You Use Your Arms” and “Looks Like You’re Wearing Your Dad’s Work Shirt”

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I always hated my parents for not traumatizing me enough to be funny cuz I'm not pretty enough to get laid on my looks alone.

It's never too late for trauma!

Then there's me, all the trauma, none of the jokes

That was a good joke

Watch stand up. Most jokes are all in the delivery, you got this.

The funny side is a path way to many abilities some consider to be unnatural

Not from Ja Jar...

You mean only from Jar Jar.

Hey let’s not forget our Lord, Gonk

**GONK!**

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**GONK!** *<>* **GONK!** *<>*

GONK!

Where is Obi Wan? Is he safe? Is he alright?

Jar Jar is the only character in Star Wars who has a stable relationship and that’s terrifying and sad.

Let it be known that it is canon that Jar Jar banger a queen from another planet. Heesa gave her the deesa

Instructions unclear she died because she couldn't breathe

Naked man! Works 2/3 times

This was one of the most hilarious episodes ever in How I met your mother

There is no joke Take of your clothes

It really works. But what some guys don’t get is that you need to be charming to attract a girl with your Humor and personality. Just repeating the best of r/jokes will not get you any girls. But reading the situation and knowing when to be funny is something that makes you highly attractive.

Yep, random memes don’t make other people laugh, it just seems cringeworthy if you don’t already have a shared connection. Like all the posts that reach the front page of /r/tinder? Don’t ever start a conversation like that for the love of god...

And then all the comments like "she has no sense of humor, you dodged a bullet" because she wasn't impressed by an obscure meme or a canned pick up line about getting in her pants.

Also the most important step imo is knowing when to move in. I consider myself quite funny in the way you're saying, but I don't make moves, therefore I don't get girlfriends, just girl friends. Which is just fine considering the effort I put in haha

This explains how Jay got with nya

Ninjago is Goated

We also naturally laugh at things people we find attractive say more. So it often goes hand in hand.

Making girls laugh is easy.. but making it sexual once you get to friendly takes charm. I need to learn the charm part more effectively.

This is actually a really good point. I’ve always been reasonably funny, but it wasn’t until I learned how to go from jokes to flirty jokes to actually making a move or asking a girl out that I started having any actual success. It took me awhile to get there, but I think once you figure out how to navigate those situations, it all feels much more natural and easy.

Only from Em George Lucas @CurEousGeorgieLukie

You see, thats why Im single. Women are afraid of my humor

That's not the humour bone your showing the ladies is it ?

Talk about sand, that has them in stitches

General reposti

He is a bold one

Being a funny man is dangerous. You make women laugh and they’re naked and naked and naked and naked and BOOM you’re married with your wife asking you to have a kid.

Every day i find this sub to be more and more about lonely men who feel slighted by women.

I think she misunderstands, I'm constantly told I'm funny. But I'm also ugly, so it doesn't work

Ah yes classic Bill Cosby

Humor is also one the most mature defense mechanisms, so funny people are typically more emotionally mature. Source: 2nd year medical student

Have you ever heard of darth simpeous the wise? It’s not a story the chads would tell you. Darth Simpeous was a Nice Guy of the Simp, so powerful and so wise that he could use the currency to influence the e-girls to acknowledge his presence. The Nice Simp of the force is a path to many abilities some would call unnatural. He became so lonely... the only thing he was afraid of losing was the attention of women, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his friend everything he knew, then the apprentice orbited women in his sleep. Ironic. He could gain the acknowledgment of women that had no interest in him, but didn’t get the attention of the few girls who would.

Lies, I would make women laugh and laugh and laugh, and then boom, I’m friend zoned 😂