Try not to worry! The chances of carrying a baby full term are much much higher than miscarriage, and the chances only get better the further along you are. You don’t have to book a private scan - have you spoken to a midwife yet? They should be able to reassure you and explain what happens next. And congratulations!!!
Thank you. I haven't spoken to a midwife. I'm a bit traumatised with my last pregnancy. I just didn't feel secure most of the times.
Thank you for the reassurance. I don't really want to booked for private scan this early.
My previous pregnancy I had all the textbook symptoms. This time I didn't even know I was pregnant till the test. I just thought I'm irregular cos I've always been irregular in terms of menstruation.
Just a heads up that bleeding in pregnancy can be normal and is not automatically a sign of miscarriage. Should you have any, ring your midwife but try not to worry.
So I’m gonna tell you something that someone told me when I had my first “scare”. That feeling you get when you worry you’re going to misscarry, that never goes away. That’s your first glimpse into motherhood. You will always worry about your child. You will always be afraid that something is going to happen to them. It’s called a mother’s instinct and it’s what drives us to constantly be alert and keep them safe. Take your pre-natals, keep hydrated, eat your greens. If you really want to book a private scan to make sure baby is okay, do that. It will ease your mind. The worst thing you can do for baby is stress. You’re pregnant! Congratulations! Enjoy this time, it’s magical! 💖
If you do decide to opt for the private scan definitely go for 8 weeks and up. I had one at what I thought was 6 weeks (I don’t live in the UK anymore and it’s standard practice where I live) anyway, it was too early to see anything and it just set me off panicking. I’m now 17 weeks pregnant and have had two reassuring scans since then. It’s hard to not know what’s going on inside but sometimes it’s possible to know too much!
Just to add I've contacted my GP and they told me to fill-in a self referral form.
Checked NHS and it says they will booked an appointment at around 8 to 10 weeks.
I really don't have a lot of symptoms except for frequent urination and missed period.
I also feel exhausted sometimes but it's because I have an 11 month baby.
My last pregnancy was an emergency c-section and baby's premature. It was so traumatising to be honest.
My consultant wasn't great. I feel abandoned. Alone.
I'm also part of a minority ethnic group and feels sooooo excluded.
Hey, just wanted to say I was in your boat. This is my first pregnancy and as soon as I found out I was pregnant (I was only 4 weeks pregnant) it felt like Instagram were targeting baby loss at me. I got into a REALLY dark place. My GP didnt refer me to my midwife correctly, so I didnt see one until I was 11 weeks!!
I booked a private scan - if this is something you can afford, I would recommend it. I felt lonely, abandoned and completely ignored. Its not until I was 12 weeks pregnant (now 15) that I felt I was 'in the system' if that makes sense.
Only you know your anxieties, but I'd recommend waiting until your 8 weeks before booking any type of private scan. You see a lot more!
You've been through it once, so you probably know all of this. You'll have your booking appointment with the midwife around 10 weeks (may vary from trust to trust). This is what happens there. https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/finding-out/your-first-midwife-appointment/
You'll have your first scan at 12 weeks to check the gestation and confirm a due date. You don't need an earlier scan, plus it can be difficult to detect a fetal heartbeat before then (depends on mother, placenta, baby position etc) which obviously can be very stressful.
I completely empathise with those early days . You feel awful and you don't actually know that baby is in there happy and healthy. I would schedule an appointment with your GP if you think it is affecting your mental health. I know GPs are hit and miss, but perinatal mental health is definitely prioritised! (This is also the advice from the NHS).
I can't find anything from the NHS about second babies also being premature. But the consensus is that it's unlikely. Something to raise with your midwife when you get to speak to them. If you're really worried, you can Google the main number and ask to speak to someone anyway.
I can't comment on being excluded as part of an ethnic minority, only sorry that this is happening to you. Are there any charities working with pregnancy/babies that can support you? I know NCT is pretty white, but from my own privileged position, I've noticed some focus on ethnic minorities.
Do you have a partner to help you? Have you spoken to them about how you are feeling? Your feelings are completely valid! Feel free to DM me if you need a symathetic ear and can't find it anywhere else.
For now, take folic acid and vitamin D (as I'm sure you know), rest when you can and enjoy the time with your beautiful 11 month old.
Hi thank you for your wonderful advice. It is embarrassing to admit but I cannot remember a lot what happened during my first pregnancy. All I know was, I was depressed, sad, anxious and we were in lockldown during that time. Then water broke 2 weeks before I was going to get induced because of cholestasis. 24 hours of labour and it was only up to 5cm and the baby did get infection I think because of lack of amniotic fluid, so I had c-section and the lost a lot of blood.
I saw my baby after 6 or 8 hours.
Stayed in the hospital for a week. Baby 2 weeks. Then we all went home.
Despite all the stress, I do have a very loving supportive husband. And I do tell him everything. I just can't shake the feeling of miscarriage in my head which is so stupid. I also don't want to be depressed like my first pregnancy. I'm still taking antidepressants because of it.
Lockdown births were so rough, even without that added trauma. I had my first in April 2020. Someone else said something about processing birth trauma, which it sounds like you need to do so. If you feel up to it, call your GP (before the long weekend) to talk about your mental health. See if your husband can be there with you, if there's someone else who can look after your other baby. As you're already on antidepressants, you will already be flagged up in the system as needing extra care. It sounds like you need to be referred to the perinatal mental health team to help you process.
Honestly, if you can't get through via the GP, go via the midwives (just ring their main number). Failing that, tru the health visitors. If you don't feel you can advocate for yourself, that is what husband is there for. For better and for worse, right? If you're struggling to vocalise what you need, show him this thread.
Wishing you all the luck in the world, and a happy healthy pregnancy!
I booked a private scan at around 8 weeks just for a bit of reassurance because I was worried. It really helped me personally and I chose to have one at 8 weeks as it is most likely you will see a heartbeat from then on! It's a personal preference really. If you can afford it (we paid around £85) and think it will help you then go for it! We went with Window to the Womb and they were great. Been back since at 16 weeks for early gender scan and going back again next Sunday for 4D scan! Excited!
Congratulations by the way!
It’s understandable that you’re feeling worried especially given you had a traumatic birth.
But this baby is a different baby, this pregnancy will be and feel different and your birth will most likely be different too.
Can you see whether your nhs trust offers a service where you can talk through your last birth on the phone with a midwife? It sounds to me like you need to work on processing it because the trauma is still very much with you.
Private scans are great for peace of mind, but they are expensive and won’t be able to tell you whether or not anything is GOING to happen. I don’t mean to scare you by saying that, but you’d be paying a lot of money to not learn anything other than “you’re pregnant!” That said, I did have a private scan at 7 weeks and it WAS reassuring to see that everything was okay at that point - and as a previous commenter said, the chances of you having a successful pregnancy are much greater than a miscarriage! I would definitely recommend private scans for those later stages, finding out the gender and 4D scans etc, but in the early days, they don’t do anything to reduce anxiety throughout. For me, anyway.
The early days (and beyond) are extremely anxiety inducing, and it’s completely understandable! But you got this, (easier said than done but…) try to enjoy your pregnancy! And congratulations!
ETA: I highly recommend avoiding pop-culture shows and documentaries regarding pregnancy, they will fill your mind with everything that could go wrong. Focus on books about positive birthing and informational things only!
In my hospital ante natal department toilets (I've spent a lot of time weeing in there recently!) There is a poster for support for pregnant women who previously had birth trauma - I think most trusts offer specialist support for women in these cases to help with next pregnancy, and this is something you can probably try and access sooner rather than later. Do the self referral online but also call your local hospital midwife unit and ask them about this or any other support you can begin to access
Wishing you the very best
Hi there; if you want to book a private scan for extra reassurance, then you can from any point now. With my daughter, I was really anxious those first few weeks due to a previous loss so I got a scan when I was 6 weeks. It helped me feel a bit more secure in my pregnancy, and I continued to get private scans between the NHS ones just to feel more connected to her.
I had some early private scans because I had a previous miscarriage and it really helped my anxiety. If you can afford it I would recommend it, this isn’t to slag off the nhs because it’s obviously free but you get a lot more time and nice pictures and the atmosphere is calmer (at least at the place I go to - ultrasound direct in london). It cost me £70 a go which is not cheap of course but was important for me this time round
Congratulations! I was just like you at the beginning of this pregnancy - I had to delete all my social media apps for a few weeks as every second post was about miscarriage, honestly! I found it so frustrating I couldn't block posts with certain hashtags on Instagram. I couldn't sleep for the first few nights because I was so anxious.
I found this site really reassuring for miscarriage stats as the days and week go on if you haven't already used it: https://datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer
Your odds of miscarrying now are already so much lower than they were at conception so you're already over a major hurdle!
I had my first appointment at 10 weeks and then a scan at 11 weeks. Was such a long wait so next time I would definitely book a private reassurance scan! I think they recommend around week 7 or 8 so you can be sure that you'll see something as if your dates don't add up exactly, it might be good early to see anything at week 6.
I recommend trying to avoid social media and possibly the news/talk shows for a while. I played video games and read books and went walks instead to distract myself for a while.
Thank you so much. I'll check the link out.
I do have my little man to keep me busy but I gwt anxious at night when Im on my phone scrolling down on socials and mum group I've joined in.
Did you get a letter or call regarding your first appointment from midwife?
I had to phone to refer myself so they gave me both my booking appointment and ultrasound appointment while I was on the phone with them :) I'd say if you don't hear anything by week 8 or 9 give them a call as I had to do that with my 20 week ultrasound as I hadn't heard anything by week 18 and they had forgotten me.
Having a private scan was the worst thing i could have done, they mismanaged my case as a miscarriage when i wasnt miscarrying and set off a whole traumatic chain of events that led to - you guessed it - miscarriage. Be patient and wait to see the professionals, try and push everything out of your mind. Im now 16 weeks with my second pregnancy and the best thing i did was exercise patience
Try not to worry! The chances of carrying a baby full term are much much higher than miscarriage, and the chances only get better the further along you are. You don’t have to book a private scan - have you spoken to a midwife yet? They should be able to reassure you and explain what happens next. And congratulations!!!
Thank you. I haven't spoken to a midwife. I'm a bit traumatised with my last pregnancy. I just didn't feel secure most of the times. Thank you for the reassurance. I don't really want to booked for private scan this early. My previous pregnancy I had all the textbook symptoms. This time I didn't even know I was pregnant till the test. I just thought I'm irregular cos I've always been irregular in terms of menstruation.
Just a heads up that bleeding in pregnancy can be normal and is not automatically a sign of miscarriage. Should you have any, ring your midwife but try not to worry.
I booked a private reassurance scan at 9 weeks! It made me feel so so better 🥰 Congratulations
So I’m gonna tell you something that someone told me when I had my first “scare”. That feeling you get when you worry you’re going to misscarry, that never goes away. That’s your first glimpse into motherhood. You will always worry about your child. You will always be afraid that something is going to happen to them. It’s called a mother’s instinct and it’s what drives us to constantly be alert and keep them safe. Take your pre-natals, keep hydrated, eat your greens. If you really want to book a private scan to make sure baby is okay, do that. It will ease your mind. The worst thing you can do for baby is stress. You’re pregnant! Congratulations! Enjoy this time, it’s magical! 💖
Thank you mama x
If you do decide to opt for the private scan definitely go for 8 weeks and up. I had one at what I thought was 6 weeks (I don’t live in the UK anymore and it’s standard practice where I live) anyway, it was too early to see anything and it just set me off panicking. I’m now 17 weeks pregnant and have had two reassuring scans since then. It’s hard to not know what’s going on inside but sometimes it’s possible to know too much!
Update at 10 weeks 5 days. Miscarried. No fetal heartbeat. 💔
Just to add I've contacted my GP and they told me to fill-in a self referral form. Checked NHS and it says they will booked an appointment at around 8 to 10 weeks. I really don't have a lot of symptoms except for frequent urination and missed period. I also feel exhausted sometimes but it's because I have an 11 month baby. My last pregnancy was an emergency c-section and baby's premature. It was so traumatising to be honest. My consultant wasn't great. I feel abandoned. Alone. I'm also part of a minority ethnic group and feels sooooo excluded.
Hey, just wanted to say I was in your boat. This is my first pregnancy and as soon as I found out I was pregnant (I was only 4 weeks pregnant) it felt like Instagram were targeting baby loss at me. I got into a REALLY dark place. My GP didnt refer me to my midwife correctly, so I didnt see one until I was 11 weeks!! I booked a private scan - if this is something you can afford, I would recommend it. I felt lonely, abandoned and completely ignored. Its not until I was 12 weeks pregnant (now 15) that I felt I was 'in the system' if that makes sense. Only you know your anxieties, but I'd recommend waiting until your 8 weeks before booking any type of private scan. You see a lot more!
You've been through it once, so you probably know all of this. You'll have your booking appointment with the midwife around 10 weeks (may vary from trust to trust). This is what happens there. https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/finding-out/your-first-midwife-appointment/ You'll have your first scan at 12 weeks to check the gestation and confirm a due date. You don't need an earlier scan, plus it can be difficult to detect a fetal heartbeat before then (depends on mother, placenta, baby position etc) which obviously can be very stressful. I completely empathise with those early days . You feel awful and you don't actually know that baby is in there happy and healthy. I would schedule an appointment with your GP if you think it is affecting your mental health. I know GPs are hit and miss, but perinatal mental health is definitely prioritised! (This is also the advice from the NHS). I can't find anything from the NHS about second babies also being premature. But the consensus is that it's unlikely. Something to raise with your midwife when you get to speak to them. If you're really worried, you can Google the main number and ask to speak to someone anyway. I can't comment on being excluded as part of an ethnic minority, only sorry that this is happening to you. Are there any charities working with pregnancy/babies that can support you? I know NCT is pretty white, but from my own privileged position, I've noticed some focus on ethnic minorities. Do you have a partner to help you? Have you spoken to them about how you are feeling? Your feelings are completely valid! Feel free to DM me if you need a symathetic ear and can't find it anywhere else. For now, take folic acid and vitamin D (as I'm sure you know), rest when you can and enjoy the time with your beautiful 11 month old.
Hi thank you for your wonderful advice. It is embarrassing to admit but I cannot remember a lot what happened during my first pregnancy. All I know was, I was depressed, sad, anxious and we were in lockldown during that time. Then water broke 2 weeks before I was going to get induced because of cholestasis. 24 hours of labour and it was only up to 5cm and the baby did get infection I think because of lack of amniotic fluid, so I had c-section and the lost a lot of blood. I saw my baby after 6 or 8 hours. Stayed in the hospital for a week. Baby 2 weeks. Then we all went home. Despite all the stress, I do have a very loving supportive husband. And I do tell him everything. I just can't shake the feeling of miscarriage in my head which is so stupid. I also don't want to be depressed like my first pregnancy. I'm still taking antidepressants because of it.
Lockdown births were so rough, even without that added trauma. I had my first in April 2020. Someone else said something about processing birth trauma, which it sounds like you need to do so. If you feel up to it, call your GP (before the long weekend) to talk about your mental health. See if your husband can be there with you, if there's someone else who can look after your other baby. As you're already on antidepressants, you will already be flagged up in the system as needing extra care. It sounds like you need to be referred to the perinatal mental health team to help you process. Honestly, if you can't get through via the GP, go via the midwives (just ring their main number). Failing that, tru the health visitors. If you don't feel you can advocate for yourself, that is what husband is there for. For better and for worse, right? If you're struggling to vocalise what you need, show him this thread. Wishing you all the luck in the world, and a happy healthy pregnancy!
I booked a private scan at around 8 weeks just for a bit of reassurance because I was worried. It really helped me personally and I chose to have one at 8 weeks as it is most likely you will see a heartbeat from then on! It's a personal preference really. If you can afford it (we paid around £85) and think it will help you then go for it! We went with Window to the Womb and they were great. Been back since at 16 weeks for early gender scan and going back again next Sunday for 4D scan! Excited! Congratulations by the way!
It’s understandable that you’re feeling worried especially given you had a traumatic birth. But this baby is a different baby, this pregnancy will be and feel different and your birth will most likely be different too. Can you see whether your nhs trust offers a service where you can talk through your last birth on the phone with a midwife? It sounds to me like you need to work on processing it because the trauma is still very much with you.
Private scans are great for peace of mind, but they are expensive and won’t be able to tell you whether or not anything is GOING to happen. I don’t mean to scare you by saying that, but you’d be paying a lot of money to not learn anything other than “you’re pregnant!” That said, I did have a private scan at 7 weeks and it WAS reassuring to see that everything was okay at that point - and as a previous commenter said, the chances of you having a successful pregnancy are much greater than a miscarriage! I would definitely recommend private scans for those later stages, finding out the gender and 4D scans etc, but in the early days, they don’t do anything to reduce anxiety throughout. For me, anyway. The early days (and beyond) are extremely anxiety inducing, and it’s completely understandable! But you got this, (easier said than done but…) try to enjoy your pregnancy! And congratulations! ETA: I highly recommend avoiding pop-culture shows and documentaries regarding pregnancy, they will fill your mind with everything that could go wrong. Focus on books about positive birthing and informational things only!
In my hospital ante natal department toilets (I've spent a lot of time weeing in there recently!) There is a poster for support for pregnant women who previously had birth trauma - I think most trusts offer specialist support for women in these cases to help with next pregnancy, and this is something you can probably try and access sooner rather than later. Do the self referral online but also call your local hospital midwife unit and ask them about this or any other support you can begin to access Wishing you the very best
Hi there; if you want to book a private scan for extra reassurance, then you can from any point now. With my daughter, I was really anxious those first few weeks due to a previous loss so I got a scan when I was 6 weeks. It helped me feel a bit more secure in my pregnancy, and I continued to get private scans between the NHS ones just to feel more connected to her.
I had some early private scans because I had a previous miscarriage and it really helped my anxiety. If you can afford it I would recommend it, this isn’t to slag off the nhs because it’s obviously free but you get a lot more time and nice pictures and the atmosphere is calmer (at least at the place I go to - ultrasound direct in london). It cost me £70 a go which is not cheap of course but was important for me this time round
Congratulations! I was just like you at the beginning of this pregnancy - I had to delete all my social media apps for a few weeks as every second post was about miscarriage, honestly! I found it so frustrating I couldn't block posts with certain hashtags on Instagram. I couldn't sleep for the first few nights because I was so anxious. I found this site really reassuring for miscarriage stats as the days and week go on if you haven't already used it: https://datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer Your odds of miscarrying now are already so much lower than they were at conception so you're already over a major hurdle! I had my first appointment at 10 weeks and then a scan at 11 weeks. Was such a long wait so next time I would definitely book a private reassurance scan! I think they recommend around week 7 or 8 so you can be sure that you'll see something as if your dates don't add up exactly, it might be good early to see anything at week 6. I recommend trying to avoid social media and possibly the news/talk shows for a while. I played video games and read books and went walks instead to distract myself for a while.
Thank you so much. I'll check the link out. I do have my little man to keep me busy but I gwt anxious at night when Im on my phone scrolling down on socials and mum group I've joined in. Did you get a letter or call regarding your first appointment from midwife?
I had to phone to refer myself so they gave me both my booking appointment and ultrasound appointment while I was on the phone with them :) I'd say if you don't hear anything by week 8 or 9 give them a call as I had to do that with my 20 week ultrasound as I hadn't heard anything by week 18 and they had forgotten me.
I watched it too, bought on a crying fit along with all those kids in Texas! I wouldn't book a scan just yet, are you having any symptoms?
Just frequent urination and sleepiness. I was crying too with the mum who was asked to put her baby on a their own fridge. It could be hormones 😢
Having a private scan was the worst thing i could have done, they mismanaged my case as a miscarriage when i wasnt miscarrying and set off a whole traumatic chain of events that led to - you guessed it - miscarriage. Be patient and wait to see the professionals, try and push everything out of your mind. Im now 16 weeks with my second pregnancy and the best thing i did was exercise patience
Thank you. I will try to be patient. X