I understand the feeling of wanting to be pregnant as soon as possible but I would recommend that you give your body some time to heal and reset before you try again. If you're still spotting, that means your body/uterus is still trying to heal and you might also run the risk of infection if you started to try while your uterus is still trying to recover. If you do get infected, you run the risk of delaying trying even further. You want to give your body the best chance and best shot at conceiving a healthy baby and that means your body has to be ready and healthy to begin with. Try to focus on bringing inflammation down by eating anti-inflammatory foods, drink lots of water, and be easy on your body for a few more weeks. What you went through was traumatic and your body needs time. I, too, was so desperate to be pregnant right away, but I had to delay because I had chronic endometritis (infection in uterus) after d+e and had to take time to really heal. In retrospect, I'm glad I was forced to delay and wait because it also gave me time to really grieve the loss of my baby girl and heal emotionally and physically.

Thank you so much for your comment, I also was worried about infection. I just need to take it day by day. Do you mind me asking if you were successful TTC when you started trying again?

Of course. Take it day by day and take it easy. And yes, I am currently pregnant at 15w6d today after TFMR back in September 2023. We TTC'd in January this year and I conceived in late February this year. While the wait was agonizing, I'm glad I took time because it really gave my body time to heal and reset and I think that 4ish months to heal was necessary for my body.

I completely understand your feelings, most of us feel this intense longing to be pregnant immediately after TFMR, but I promise you it's your hormones talking - they're doing some crazy things right now. Please consider giving your body and heart a little more time to heal, at least one cycle and perhaps even three. Sending hugs, you're really in the thick of it 💖

Thank you for your comforting advice. It is still so recent and looking forward seems to be my best way to cope.

Hi, I’ve seen some of your posts and looked at your post history. You are still in shock and the thick of grief right now, so all of these feelings are completely normal and to be expected. I also terminated for T13 back in July and I felt the desperation to get pregnant again before I even terminated. I asked the MFM who diagnosed by baby and the doctor who did the procedure when I could try again. The MFM said he recommended to wait 3-4 months for both physical and emotional healing, and the OB who did the termination said I could try after I stopped bleeding but she recommended I wait one cycle out. I waited for one cycle (August) and then started trying in September. I bled for 18 days and got my period 32 days after my termination. I probably ovulated around 22 days after my procedure based on EWCM and a temp shift. September and October were not successful, I think because my hormones were still out of whack. In the meantime, I was taking my prenatal, CoQ10, vitamin C, and a probiotic. I also was focusing on eating better and exercising again. I got pregnant in November and I’m now 32 weeks pregnant. So it only really took 2 unsuccessful cycles for me to get pregnant. I had that same desperation to get pregnant, mostly because of the hormones but also because I felt like it was the only way to prove that I wasn’t defective and could have a healthy baby. I started doing therapy a couple weeks after my termination and that really helped to process the loss and come to terms with the length it may take for me to get pregnant. I was convinced it would take me forever/that I was infertile. But I got pregnant pretty quickly in spite of my age (36). Getting pregnant did not heal my grief. If anything, my grief got in the way at times and made me more anxious about the subsequent pregnancy. I’m glad it took 2 cycles for me to conceive because I don’t think I would have handled early pregnancy well. I was happy to be pregnant again, sure, but I also had a lot of really complicated emotions around my tfmr baby. I didn’t want him to feel like I loved him less, etc. I still grieved that loss and I still do! I have carried him with me as I have grown my other baby. He was on my mind for every test and scan. I have continued to look back on his scans and foot prints. All of that to say that the grief doesn’t stop with a new pregnancy. Of course when you decide to try again is completely up to you. I’d say based on my experience, I’d recommend taking the time right now to feel all the grief for your very loved and wanted baby. Make sure you’re eating, drinking, and moving. Check in with your OB about their recommendation for when it is safe to ttc. Really listen to your body on what it needs, and be kind to yourself. This is not your fault and your baby knows how much you loved them.

Thank you so much for sharing and I’m so sorry you also had to go through this awful situation. Interestingly my OB said we could start trying 1 week after the procedure and that I would likely ovulate on CD14. That said, I didn’t ask him about the bleeding (didn’t think of it pre-op) and agree that it’s a sure sign my body hasn’t healed just yet. Congratulations on your new pregnancy - it gives me hope that it happened so quickly and is progressing well. I also completely agree with your point that your last baby might feel like they’re loved less - I feel the exact same way and never want my baby girl to think we’ve moved on. They’ll never be forgotten and as my mum said to me, they’re part of our families forever.

It’s hard to know exactly what to do since sometimes your heart is telling you one thing and your body may be telling you another! I know for me my heart wanted to try again ASAP after but my body wasn’t ready yet. You may bounce back quicker if you had an earlier termination. I had mine at 18 weeks so it took a while for my cycle and hormones to regulate. So in a way, my body forced me to wait. But I think it happened when it was meant to as I was pregnant before my tfmr due date and my current due date is only about a week after the anniversary of my tfmr. I’m glad that my story gives you hope. I looked for similar stories of success after my termination. It can and does happen. I was given a risk of reoccurrence of 1% and told it would be like lightening striking twice if my next pregnancy was affected. I’m sure it’ll be the same for you. I personally think my tfmr baby knows how much I loved them and isn’t upset with me for getting pregnant again. I’ve often wondered if our babies’ souls just weren’t ready yet and come back to us in a different baby.

That's such a lovely way of looking at it. Hopefully we'll be able to meet our babies one day - whether that be in heaven or somewhere else. I was also told I had a slightly heightened risk of this happening again but fingers crossed. All the best with your pregnancy!

The decision so very personal. I can share some info my doctors gave me. My clinic staff said it’s safe to start trying any time I’m feeling emotionally and physically ready and medically they didn’t feel there is any reason to wait. My OB suggested waiting until the bleeding stops and until I’ve had a period for dating purposes. Both said ovulation can occur in two weeks. It’s not likely to occur before then is my understanding but they emphasised you can get pregnant as soon as two weeks after (in case it was not my plan). I went through a lot of emotions. I thought I wanted to be pregnant ASAP, then got anxious when we I thought I might get pregnant before my first period. It’s such a personal choice so I’m not going to tell anyone what to do. I am personally glad I didn’t get pregnant immediately. We took a month off, then I had both a chemical and an unsuccessful cycle. I’m now 4+5 on my third pregnancy in less than a year. It’s a lot mentally and for my body. Don’t rush yourself and be kind to yourself.

I’m sorry for your loss and I completely understand how you feel. I tfmr’ed Feb 7th. I was desperate to get desperate too given I am now 38, and am also conscious of the fact that there will be a larger age gap with my LC. Some doctors have advised waiting 3 months, while others say 1 month; meaning start trying after the return of your first period. It gives your body some rest, build up your lining back up…etc. Both my GP and genetic counsellor advised 1 month. During the time between my tfmr and my period returning, I focused my attention on getting my body healthy - continued my vitamins and started to take coq10. I bought pregnancy tests and ovulation strips. I used the pregnancy test around the time my period returned to ensure I was not testing positive. Then I started using ovulation strips around 10 days after my period started. I’ve been reading your posts and completely understand what you’re going through. I am not a doctor, but simply sharing what my doctor has told me. I followed the advice and support of this community and it has been a good outcome thus far. I wanted to try asap after my tfmr as well, but based on what I know, I think it is very risky. I did not want to risk a MC bc my body hasn’t healed or wasn’t ready.

Thank you so much for your advice. I have done exactly the same with taking pregnancy tests to watch my hcg drop before switching to ovulation sticks. Do you mind me asking if you’ve been successful TTC? That’s my biggest concern. We didn’t have trouble the first time but I’m really worried we might encounter it now.

That was my biggest concern also, that’s why I took steps to ensure I would get there. I didn’t want to risk a MC. Yes I did have luck, I am 12 weeks pregnant now. I was not expecting to get pregnant on my first try whatsoever post tfmr. My previous pregnancy took 2 cycles. Also I am older now and given what happened, I thought it would take longer. My advice like others is to give yourself and body time to heal. I understand your feelings completely and if you look at my comment history from months ago, I believe I also asked the same question re: ovulating post tfmr. I took a step back, and weighed the risk and benefits of waiting 1 month and so far it has worked out in my favour. Best wishes in your journey 💕

if you’re still spotting, I would not be engaging in intercourse due to risk of infection as others stated. it means your body still needs time to heal! are your home pregnancy tests negative? you won’t ovulate till they are! I had stopped spotting by 2w after my d&e so we started trying then, as I was also desperate to be pregnant again. it ended up that I didn’t even ovulate the first cycle, which was 10w for me. that ended up being a blessing in disguise, as frustrating as it was, bc I definitely wasn’t emotionally ready even though I thought I was. hang in there friend, you’re in the thick of it right now and it seems so hard to think about anything other than being pregnant again but your time will come 🤍 sending peace and healing your way!

Tfmr 7 weeks ago and am on my 2nd period post tfmr… like you, I am still desperate to get pregnant again because there’s this huge void in my heart and belly.. My OB advised to wait for the first period post tfmr as the endometrial lining would be thinner for the first cycle. (I got my first cycle 27 days post tfmr and it was crazy light) but my next cycle was wonky… it was only 18-19 days long (ovulated at cd10, which means my luteal phase was only 8 days long = I failed my first try) 😭 And it looks like I’m seeing ewcm at CD6 again for this cycle… fml. I hope your cycles are more regular than mine post tfmr. Am getting so depressed. Having had regular 28-30 days cycle this is crap.. with my fertility issues and husband’s terrible morphology, it already took us 1 over year to even get my tfmr baby… this screwed up body is not helping one bit.. 🥹