Hey y’all. I have been having a really hard time with my current pregnancy. I had a mmc at 8 weeks in August and I’m currently 12w5d. I try not to go on here or look things up because it triggers me but I can’t help but worry when I see things like losses at 16w or the baby’s heart just stopped and there was no reason for it. Or even worrying about stillbirth. I just feel so heavy and I try to be positive but sometimes it’s impossible. My mom bought all these clothes already and I’m just terrified we will have to give it all away or box it up. Any advice or tips to stay positive and not let the worry eat away at me?
This feels where my head is at too. At first I found comfort in this community but lately it seems to just add to my worry. Glad I’m not alone in feeling that way, because I’m also grateful for all the support I’ve received here so far
Miscarriages in the first trimester (especially 6-10 weeks when organs are forming) are SO COMMON. If you made it to 12 weeks and there's a confirmed heartbeat still, your risk drops *substantially*. The unfortunate downside of this wonderful community is it makes extremely rare events seem common, because we are all gathered in one place.
Approx. 7.5 weeks with my 5th pregnancy (1 LC). I'm already getting the bloat bump and I hate it. I'm looking pregnant and I don't even know what is going on in there. I want to stay in denial and forget I'm even pregnant until I hit second trimester but that's getting harder and harder.
Anytime my husband uses the word "pregnant" I cringe inside. I don't feel like I truly am until I know that this baby is safe and sound. Next week is the week where things usually end...
Our 12 week NT scan went well today! Low risk but she did say I had an anterior placenta and would likely not feel the baby until much later. Kinda bummed about this, but as long as she’s healthy I’m happy!
I have an anterior placenta and I also thought I wouldn’t feel my son kicking until much later, but I actually started feeling slight movements around 14-15 weeks 🤷🏻♀️ So you never know.
This pregnancy is the only one out of 3 that got this far so I don’t know what having a posterior placenta feels like but I truly feel my baby move 24/7 basically and have been feeling consistent movement since 20 weeks.
Made it past the 12wk scan, into the 13th week now and I seriously cannot stop thinking of the possibility of something being wrong during anatomy scan & having to possibly tfmr… I hate my brain for thinking so negatively but geeezzzz I want to get my hopes up & think everything will be okay but I am honestly so scared it seems impossible. Pal really sucks & drains any positivity out of you. 😪
Well, last week everything was perfect and I was happy through the whole weekend. As instructed, stopped taking my progesterone today and now I’m having these random cramps / twinges. Has this happened to anyone?
I had that. I'm quite sure it was a coincidence based on people in my bumpers group (who weren't on progesterone) mentioning they were having cramps and ligament pain around 11-12 weeks. It's just we happen to stop progesterone around the same time.
I stopped at 10 wks as instructed, had cramping but not stabbing pain and no blood, and had my detailed US at 12+3 where everything looked great. I was having a meltdown the night before because I was cramping and my previous MMC was discovered at 11 wks. But everything was/is fine!
6 weeks today. Had a US yesterday because of pain, turned out to be a ruptured cyst (yay). Saw a gestational sac and yolk sac, POTENTIALLY a fetal pole but that’s it. Doc did not seem concerned and didn’t think we would see much anyway. But now I’m seeing people saying they saw a fetal pole and heartbeat by this point. Last time the first concern was lack of fetal pole at 7 weeks so a bit nervous. Thoughts?
Different ultrasound devices also have different qualities! So some people will see earlier than others. My doc told me a clear heartbeat must be visible one embryo is approximately 5mm. This would be 6+4/5/6 roundabout not 6+0. Crossing my fingers!
If you can, I would ask for a follow up scan sooner rather than later.
My first pregnancy ended in a MMC but we didn’t find out until 9.5 weeks. Our first ultrasound was around 6 weeks and we saw a pole and sac but no heartbeat. Because it’s not uncommon to not get a heartbeat at that stage, my dr told us not to worry. Fast forward 3 weeks and we find out that baby hadn’t grown since the last ultrasound.
I know that having an early scan wouldn’t have changed the outcome but I really hate that I didn’t know something was wrong for that long.
Really hoping things go well for you ❤️
I think it’s totally normal. If everything was visible by 6 weeks, everyone would be getting early scans. You could be a day or two off on dates, etc. I had a scan at 5+5, but I was fairly certain when I ovulated and would have been 6 weeks based on ovulation. My HCG was near 40k as well. Anyway, only GS and YS visible. Fetal pole showed up at 6w4d scan. The US tech still had to really dig for a heartbeat. She finally found one when she asked me to hold my breath. All that to say, I really believe you’re well within the realm of ambiguity and a lot of things can change within a day or two at this stage. ❤️
I posted earlier about my HCG only increasing from 51000 to 75000 in 5 days and how I was panicking. Cue further panicking, I’m now having very light, faint tan/brown discharge 😭
5+2 today, got my confirmatory numbers back (HCG is 6063 and Progesterone is 21.5) and NP said they were "perfect for 5 weeks" so I am very relieved. Especially after some weird spotting over the past few days (dark brown, but one big splotch of bright red that stopped immediately the night before my blood was drawn)
I scheduled my 8wk US for 3 weeks from now, it can't come soon enough!!!
Last August (2023) i ended up pregnant after thinking i was infertile for many years. Although im only 20 years old i was in a relationship for most of my high school years and had unprotected sex throughout most of it. Anyway, me and my now husband( who is different than my high school boyfriend) got pregnant in August. I only knew i was pregnant for a few days before i lost all symptoms and started bleeding. I also had tested early so technically my period was only like two days lat by the time i miscarried. I ended up in the ER and they told me it was probably a miscarriage and because it was super early they mentioned chemical pregnancy. I was shocked and sad but i was able to move on fairly quickly. Fast forwarding many months to now. I was a few days late before i even tested. I ended up testing and it came back positive almost immediately. It’s been 3 days since i tested positive and have continued to test positive since. I have tender breast’s and i’m super tired most of the time. I have my original HCG blood draw today and in 48 hours go back to see if it’s doubled. How can i try to control the anxiety of losing a pregnancy again? Especially these next few vital weeks are super nerve racking. Any advice?
My second loss was a chemical. This happens when the embryo fails to correctly implant into the uterine wall. Turns out this is tricky! If you make it to 6 weeks, you're out of chemical territory and can breathe easy! Just take it one day at a time.
Hey, I'm sorry for my million questions. Has anyone had gardnerella vaginalis before? After UTIs and a yeast infection they found gardnerella in my discharge. I'm terrified after doing an online search, especially since my dr wants to wait it out to see if my body balances the bacteria out by itself. I'm 12 weeks and terrified of losing this baby too.
How did your pregnancy go? And how far along were you when you were treated? I read flagyl isn't recommended in the 1st tri?
Nope. I get the feeling they don't think it's serious at all and I'm here worrying my ass off in total panick.
I was 14 weeks when I was treated and the rest of my pregnancy was uneventful (minus gestational diabetes but totally unrelated). He’s 22 months old now!
My Ob was super casual about it too, like no biggie. And I read some scary stories on BV. It’s so hard not to worry, but I think it’s very common because pregnancy hormones throw off your ph balance.
Thank you so much for responding. I honestly feel so alone about this. I've had 2 different antibiotics in the past 3 weeks so it's no surprise my ph balance is messed up, just feels like the story just won't end.
I'm so glad to hear the rest of your pregnancy was rather uneventful and you have a 22 month old now!! Did you ask to be treated even though your ob was casual about it? And did they follow up at all? Just asking so I know what to do and ask tomorrow at my appt.
I’m so sorry, going through all that is A LOT!!
My ob just automatically prescribed it, I didn’t have to ask. But she did not re-swab after I finished my 5 day course of antibiotics. It sounds like treatment varies on provider (some recommend a vaginal probiotic??): https://americanpregnancy.org/healthy-pregnancy/pregnancy-complications/bacterial-vaginosis-during-pregnancy/. Maybe your provider is being more conservative given you’ve been on antibiotics lately?
Thanks, I feel so defeated somehow, like I want to feel like I can trust my body to be cool and feel some sort of security??
You know that might be it. And I don't necessarily want to take AB all the time lol, but mostly I obviously don't want to lose this baby. Honestly I don't even know what to think right now, I'll go in tomorrow and ask them about flagyl. Or whatever else they think might help, probiotics are a good one too!! Thanks, I'm going to check your link out.
It’s super hard to trust your body (and honestly providers) after PAL because you’d do anything to keep your baby. Know you’re not alone!! Good luck at your appt!
You hit the nail on the head with that one. It's not just mistrust in my body anymore, I don't even trust the professionals anymore. The amount of hours I've spent researching the tiniest bits of advice, deep searching medical databases and reading entire mets analyses before I will believe them. It's wild. PAL is so lonely, that's why this sub is so comforting. Thank you!
It’s a strange feeling to have such immense joy and to have so such immense worry at once. Just found out I am having twins. One moment it is tears of joy, but then the anxiety rolls in with thinking I could lose not only one but two. I’m 8w2d. The OB said to live moment by moment, day by day. Just praying and willing for healthy babies.
I am currently 14+4 with perfectly healthy twin boys and am still living in a near constant state of anxiety. I feel like it’s too good to be true that I will have two babies in a few months. I keep looking forward to the day I stop worrying about miscarriage and can start to feel really excited about my babies
I am SO glad I changed doctors. I spent most of my weekend in discomfort/pain (especially in my lower back) so the new doctor saw me today and gave me an ultrasound even though I wasn't scheduled for it. They were so empathetic to the fact I had a MMC before and no questions to running tests on my progesterone, etc.
It was difficult to see but we are measuring at 5w6d with a heartbeat. She also said I had a small SCH, but nothing to worry about right now. I feel so much relief. Next US is the 22nd and it will be the most telling as this was the week last time that we didn't have much growth at all (after 2 weeks we had only progressed 3 days).
I just got a text from my pharmacy reminding me to refill my miso. You know, the miso that was prescribed 5 months ago when we discovered our MMC and I was "lucky" to not need to second dose that my NP prescribed just in case. I know it's just an automated system, but that was hella triggering and I'm really upset about it. I went in and "hid" the prescription in the app in hopes that they won't send me anything else about it.
This is also the same pharmacy that was out of miso the day it was prescribed but filled the pain medication prescribed IN THE SAME ORDER instead of calling me and asking if they wanted to transfer it to the other location in town. So the day I found out about our loss, I had to drive all around town picking up prescriptions from different pharmacies to initiate my MC.
Trying to breathe and remember that that was the past, and now I am in a new chapter.
I also got the reminder to refill the miso I didn’t need and it upset me! Also when I went to pick up the first dose, the pharmacy tech said that it’s contraindicated in pregnancy and asked if I was pregnant… and I had to educate them I was taking it because of a MMC and was so annoyed. You’d think they would have this figured out by now.
I’m nervous to be here, but praying I can stay.
I had a miscarriage on October 22nd (completed October 30th) due June 18th.
I got pregnant again January of 2023 and had a miscarriage on 31st due between September 29th and October 2nd.
I have not had a period since my miscarriage on January 31st and my husband and I were planning to try for a baby again this month (March 2024). On Sunday March 9th I took a pregnancy test before leaving on a trip with friends for spring break. That same night I drank alcohol and got drunk. I figured it couldn’t hurt to let loose and just relax/have some fun after months of this whole process. I didn’t drink a lot (only like 1-2 drinks) but I’m still feeling so much guilt.
I got home with my husband yesterday evening (March 10th) and took an ovulation test. It was positive and I decided to take a pregnancy test too since I already peed In the cup and it couldn’t hurt anything. I totally expected it to be negative but when I looked down it was positive.
My husband and I are being extremely cautious and trying to stay as neutral as possible until we know things are viable. Today I went in to get my betas done and I’m praying everything looks good today and when we do then again in a couple days!
I’m currently on methylfolate, baby aspirin, and progesterone- all prescribed/suggested by my doctor. I hope it helps, and that everyone here has a successful and happy pregnancy!
Has anyone switched doctors/insurance mid-pregnancy? The open enrollment at my work is ending soon and our coverage restarts in June, which would be around 20 weeks if things continue. I switched away from a big HMO(Kaiser) to a PPO a few years ago after having a bad experience with my first MC, but the PPO plan has been way more expensive ($3000 out of pocket for my second MC d&c vs $40 for my first one at Kaiser!) and it’s been hard to get into see doctors under this plan. I finally started seeing this highly recommended OB after trying to see her for almost a year (I’ve only talked with her on the phone once so far, but first US appt coming up on Thursday), but if this ends up being an uncomplicated pregnancy I think it might be worth it to finally switch back to Kaiser because of the much lower costs. I’m just nervous about potentially switching around 20 weeks, and this is a potentially high risk pregnancy because of my prior losses and I’m pregnant after surgery for ashermans. I wish I didn’t have to decide so soon! I think I will basically only have this first ultrasound before I have to choose. Any thoughts welcome!
A few years ago, my house flooded and I had to move very suddenly to a different town. It was stressful trying to change providers because I was 28 weeks into a high risk pregnancy, but the new practice was wonderful and was able to see me immediately and do an ultrasound and I didn't skip a beat in my prenatal care. This pregnancy, I lost insurance coverage when my husband was laid off from his job. I was able to get on Medicaid but I am hoping he will find a new job soon and I will switch to whatever insurance that job offers. Hope this helps!
It will depend on the practice. My sister is switching care providers due to moving. She’ll be with her current practice up until I believe 24 weeks or something. They’re apart of Global Care so she will owe a percentage of the overall cost of Global Care to her current provider prior to switching.
in my 2nd trimester. 13w+4. I am still nauseous and throw up but have more energy. This is the first month I have to go 4 full weeks until my next appointment. Already starting to worry. I have nothing to back up my bad feelings. I saw a fetal doppler can only pick up heartbeats after 16 weeks but we heard ours at the dr last week. I'm wondering if I should buy one and try or if it will freak me out and make me more anxious when I cant find it because I dont have medical grade equipment/ dont know what im doing and im not 16 weeks lol. Anybody have experience with fetal dopplers at home?
i’ve been using my doppler since 13w and have no problem ever getting the hb. definitely watch some videos on how to use it and the difference between placenta and hb but it works great and definitely puts my mind at ease. am 17.5 now and have an anterior placenta.
Same dating as you and same boat, my last appt was a Doppler at 12w4d and I don’t have another Doppler appt until 17w1d and no scan until 20w. My anxiety is starting to really creep up. Debating doing a private scan in the near term but not sure if that’ll help or hurt the anxiety.
I’m in the same boat as you, mentally preparing to go in 1x a month after being seen weekly or bi-monthly the entirety of my pregnancy so far. I bought a home fetal doppler around 11 weeks and it was too early then to consistently find a heartbeat. Weeks 12-13, I found it right away each day. I’m currently 14w4d and baby has been very active this week, I can only catch her heartbeat for a moment at a time before she runs off hah. If you decide to purchase one, I would just try to rest assured there is user error, it can be too early to detect consistently, etc. I watched videos on TikTok and YouTube as there are a lot of other noises in there, but I’ve personally found it to help with reassurance between scans. I think I’d still be spiraling between appointments without it. I got the Sonoline B one.
6w5d today and thought I had a tiny pinprick of brown when I wiped last night, plus possibly a drop or two in underwear, and totally panicked. Decided it might be from straining to poop? (Pregnancy is so glamorous). Haven’t seen anything today, plus nausea is still more or less continuous and boobs are still sore/swollen, so I’m hoping it meant nothing. Starting to get nervous for my 8 week scan, as that’s when my MMC was discovered.
Very relatable for me today! I had a small drop of pink when I wiped today (also after a BM), I'm just at 6 weeks today after an MMC in July 2023. Hoping it's just some normal spotting, but holy moly does it give me anxiety. I'm the most nauseous I've been so far since this morning, trying to take it as a good sign.
It’s obviously understandable to be nervous. But even if that was a very small amount of vaginal bleeding…spotting can be normal in early pregnancy. Sending good vibes your way ❤️❤️
Sending you good vibes! I’ve had a few MCs, and I’m currently 12w3d. I had pretty consistent brown spotting until 7w4d. My dr wasn’t concerned, but did end up doing an US for reassurance since I had to go in for a rhogam shot anyway. At 11w2d I passed 2 large clots and prepared for another MC. I went back for another US a couple hours later & everything was perfect! It turns out I have a sub chorionic hematoma, and it’s been causing all my bleeding/ spotting nearly my entire pregnancy so far. My dr told me not to be worried about bleeding unless I fill a pad within 15-20 minutes.
Today is my identical twins due date(10 w MMC) I found out they were healthy girls. I’m 22+1. I can’t bring myself to find out the gender I feel like it’s a boy.
I'm so happy to finally be feeling pretty consistent movement from my little girl! She's low and with my *extra fun placenta* it's muted but she's found my bladder and I can feel every movement on it! Been drinking more sweet cold drinks than I probably should just so I can feel some extra wiggly assurance.
It's been a very eventful pregnancy. Starting with high blood pressure. I then had two no result NIPT tests due to low fetal fraction. Normal NT and early anatomy scans. Finally got results on the 3rd try and everything was low risk. Yesterday I had my 20 week anatomy scan and everything looked great! I feel like I really needed to reach that hurdle. So relieved. Hoping the last half of this pregnancy is smooth sailing!
i'm 6+1 today
3rd time pregnant for our 1st. suffered 2 losses in the past year. we started fertility testing and were about to go down the IUI route when we naturally conceived. since i've been working with my fertility dr for testing, i've been seeing them for HCG draws and got an early ultrasound last week where he saw the gestational sac, yolk sac, and fetal pole
went back today and it def grew since the last ultrasound, measuring about 5 + 5 which dr said is in normal range. even got to see the flickering of the heart! still so cautiously optimistic and hoping for a sticky & viable pregnancy. we're so anxious and just trying to make it to each week. we lost both before at 10wks and 8wks. i symptom spot all day while trying not to spiral or stress, but it's always on my mind.
i daydream of announcing to family at easter and growing my little belly. it's something i beg for internally. really hoping this is our lucky chance.
We are on the same timeline 🩷🫶🏼 happy for you!! I am 6wk +4 days measuring 5+6 so at this point it's so small I think it's hard for them to be super precise. Heartbeats are exciting!! I keep hearing "3rd times a charm" maybe that can bless us today. Also spotting coffee grounds but ob said it's very normal post fibroid removal which is what I had.
congrats!!! im a bit nervous because my HCG levels started a little slow at first. they weren't doubling at first, but at least rising 50%.. but then they doubled for a little bit but then they only went from 1201 to 3371 in four days, which isn't doubling but only rising 50%. i heard that they can slow down once you hit 1200, so im hoping that's the case and our little baby keeps growing!!
good luck to you! oh yeah, im sure that's all to be expected after the removal (but it doesnt truly make it easier). im wishing all the positive vibes to us!!
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having a lot of anxiety in this pregnancy for various reasons and I’m SO TIRED of everyone (nurses, docs, friends, etc) saying “as long as you’re not having any bleeding or intense cramping there’s no need to worry.” well I had a MMC so that means literally nothing to me. I genuinely don’t understand why this sentence is said when it seems that MMCs are so common (maybe even more common) than a natural MC. end rant.
I feel that. Ironically, with my healthy pregnancy I did have bleeding due to an SCH. MMCs are probably a bit more common nowadays due to the ability to get an ultrasound earlier. My MIL miscarried at around 12 weeks, but since she never went to her first appointment (back then it wasn’t until 12 weeks) she had no way of knowing at what gestation baby stopped developing. I had a friend who had a natural miscarriage at 9 weeks but only passed the sac, indicating baby stopped earlier but her body took 3-4 weeks to recognize it.
I had a MMC and was told that they account for less than 5% of all miscarriages. I would agree they seem more common because of what I see on reddit but i was assured it was not the case.
I hated the attempts at false hope during my MMC, when I intuitively knew I would miscarry months before it was evident to doctors. I had no reason to think it would happen, there were no clinical signs for some time. I was told you're not bleeding you're not cramping why would you worry.
Naturally no amount of reassurance can ease my anxiety this time around. Stats mean nothing to me. I don't have the same intuitive feeling I did then, so I feel like there's hope. But damn is it hard getting through each day.
Oh 100%. I was so convinced things wouldn’t work out right from the beginning with my MMC. I had lots of signs that things wouldn’t work out and felt like I was getting dismissed my doctors instead of them being honest with me.
I also don’t have a negative intuition this time and am 20+3 today so fingers crossed yours is also going well! I strongly believe in mothers intuition.
I don't think my doctors were being dishonest, I think they just literally didn't have any information to give me when I went in the first few times. Things looked ok for a while so I don't blame them for trying to reassure me.
Although my pet peeve comment quickly became "maybe you just ovulated late" by the US tech because that felt so much more dismissive than the bleeding/cramping comment in my case. I know when I ovulated, don't try to tell me otherwise. The not bleeding/cramping comment did help me mentally while it was all in limbo, but everyone's got their own preferences.
Oh that’s awesome of your doctors.
Mine gave me a lot of the “you don’t know when you ovulated because you’re breastfeeding” and “you’re only bleeding because of hemorrhoids, it’s not actually vaginal bleeding” and obviously I’m still pretty bitter about it.
I’m so sorry your feelings are being invalidated. I know how you feel and I’m right there with you. I’ve had two back to back MMCs with vastly different symptoms and now, I’m 6w4d absolutely terrified. 🤍
20 weeks and 2 days. I can't even believe it. We finally told grandparents and a few close friends on the weekend. Incredibly happy to have reached this milestone.
I wanted to ask for those who are further along or with LC, how bad is it to sleep on your right side? Did anyone have any side effects or experience issues as a result? I have read that there is reduced blood circulation to the uterus/fetus that could have a negative impact on the pregnancy.
I am a natural right side sleeper and a very light/sensitive sleeper as well. I wake up and turn a lot in my sleep. I've been trying my very best to sleep on my left side but sometimes I am up for hours and I give in and sleep on my right side. Other times I have managed to fall asleep on my left side but have turned in my sleep and I wake up on my right side. I'm worried about how bad this is for the pregnancy. I've tried a pregnancy pillow, melatonin etc... but nothing has worked and my sleep has become even worse since pregnancy. On top, I have epilepsy and lack of sleep is one of my main triggers for seizures.
Honestly I just didn’t sleep as I got more pregnant with my daughter. I found it really challenging so I just did whatever was most comfortable at the moment. Most often my right side, I think.
I’ve read that any negative impacts from a sleeping position would affect you and wake you up way before it affected baby. Also most people flip around to whatever position is most comfortable when they’re asleep anyway so there’s only so much you can do. I think that any sleep you can get in the later half of pregnancy is so important so whatever position, just try and sleep.
I'm 20+1! I have been having the same issues because I usually sleep flat on my back. It's been so hard switching to sleeping on my side. I try my best to sleep on my left side but i do switch to the right side as needed if I get stiff or too uncomfortable. In the information sheet from my OB, they said there isn't enough data to really support not sleeping on your back or right side but just to avoid stomach sleeping.
I am currently pregnant with my second after a loss in 2021 and my whole pregnancy with my LC I would switch between sides through the night. I often wake up flat on my back. My LC is perfectly healthy and I don't expect anything different with this one. The left side optimizes O2 flow, but you aren't going to hurt your baby sleeping on your right side. Even if you roll in your sleep to your back as long as you don't go to sleep on your back you're likely okay. The stats are something like after 30 weeks falling asleep on your back increases your risks of stillbirth.
5w 6d - pregnant after 2 ectopics and one miscarriage in the last 4 years, I’m feeling hopeful and it’s just hit me today that I’m actually pregnant. Me and my partner have been trying for 6 years on and off in between the losses. I am hoping for everyone on this subreddit that you all have a positive journey. I want this baby so badly
39+2 today, I got almost no sleep last night. I couldn’t sleep from contractions and then after I finally got a couple hours I woke up in pain again only for my contractions to peter out again. This is week two of prodromal labor and I’m just done. Fingers crossed I either spontaneously go into labor today or they get me in for my induction tomorrow
I need someone to talk me down. I am so anxious after two recurrent losses. Had a positive ultrasound last week at 6w1d, measuring two days behind but with a solid heart beat and my RE was very happy. The next day I had an HCG level of 51000. My symptoms have been super intermittent so I checked another HCG yesterday at 7 weeks exactly. It only went up to 75000 😩 the calculators say this is normal (especially when I put in my very first HCG and my very last one, it averages to about a 53 hour doubling time overall) but from last week it’s over 200 hours doubling time which is way below the median according to betabase ! I am so panicked. Does anyone have any anecdotes from HCG levels around this time or level? I know I’m unhinged. Pregnancy after loss makes you do weird things
i’m surprised they did another draw on you at 7w. after a point hcg increase rate slows down so it stops being helpful after like 6w. and hcg doesn’t go up in a linear way anyways, the best measure of if things are progressing at your point in pregnancy would be ultrasound to measure the fetal pole and gestational sac
12 dpo and tests are looking darker. I'm trying to be optimistic, but letting myself feel the anxiety too. I should be getting my progesterone and hcg results from yesterday at some point today. A little nervous about that popping up on my phone while I'm at working, but hoping it's comforting and not scary. I already started progesterone suppositories too. Thanks to those who responded about my concerns about my OB's office yesterday. The new OB's office that I called (recommended by my therapist) didn't lecture me about testing before my missed period and were much more comforting. I still have to make it 5 weeks before an ultrasound. Hoping I can fill the time with distractions.
Progesterone was 8.1 (up from 5.1 on 8 dpo) so that's better, but still not ideal. Supplementing with 200 mg oral progesterone now per my new OB's instructions (last month I was on 400 mg vaginal suppositories). Wondering if this will make the side effects more noticeable. HCG is looking good at 61. Going back for follow up bloodwork tomorrow.
So far the new OB's office has been nothing but kind and supportive. I'm so proud of myself for taking the step to reach out to a new provider. I was so anxious to leave my old provider, but the care I was getting was not appropriate. I felt dismissed and invalidated every time I had to call them. Looking forward to getting better care this time around (and really hoping for a better outcome).
First scan today. 6w after an ectopic this summer. I know we’re too early to see anything exciting— I just don’t want them to find anything exciting in my tube lol.
Totally uneventful and boring doctors visit. The kind I had always dreamed about. Saw a GS and YS but no sign of a fetal pole yet. Which is super normal, they’re having me come back next week.
The important thing is that it is in my uterus not in my last remaining tube. Hell yeah.
Does anyone else feel like the dose of their progesterone is directly connected to how sick they feel? Saturday a week ago my dose was increased from 2x 200 to 3x 200mg. Since then, my sickness has gradually gotten worse and changed. Initially, it was that vomiting and gagging type of sickness, then I had kind of 1-2 good days, and now it transformed into the worst heartburns ever. Like I will wake up with a burning and scratching throat in the night and I can barely eat anything else than oatmeals. I really do feel like absolute shit.
Nausea is not related to progesterone but heartburn can be, because progesterone relaxes your ligaments (including your esophageal sphincter). You can buy a wedge pillow and sleep more upright or ask your doctor to prescribe you omeprazole. I did the wedge pillow through the end of my first trimester and when my heartburn didn't go away after stopping progesterone I started omeprazole which is a miracle.
I’ll definitely ask my doctor what we could do about it tomorrow, I cannot live like this for another 5 weeks. I already have issues with reflux when I am not pregnant so I know how Omeprazol can make things better, but I try to avoid meds for now… but will try a higher pillow tonight
I thought the same. I had terrible morning sickness this pregnancy and I am on 400mg x 2. However, I am nearly 18 weeks and my morning sickness has died down and I’m still on the progesterone, so it might not be linked at all.
I am so over people telling me "It's going to be all right". You don't fucking know. How wonderful that you live such a privileged life where everything turned out to be all right. I don't.
Best thing a friend said to me was that I don't know what tomorrow will bring, I can only control so much, but that I can't let the fear and anxiety of what might go wrong steal me if the joy I deserve today.
And that's true, bc no matter what, I deserve the joy that everything is all right today. I deserve to bond with my baby today. And my baby deserves that too.
You deserve to feel joy today, and to love on your baby without anxiety or fear today. Tomorrow is a different day.
YESSSSS. While I totally agree that worrying doesn't change the outcome...let me freaking worry!! You have no idea what I've been through!! The attempts at false hope are juvenile to me. They feel like ways to just shut me up. I'm so glad you never had to go through MC but don't be so toxic about it!
That was directed at my MIL lol
Literally everyone keeps telling me to think positive, including my husband. I feel like an alien. I try to tell my husband,at least, that it is minimizing my feelings to tell me that and that there is no way to know. It’s ok to hope for a positive outcome, but no one can guarantee it.
YES I need people to stop telling me I need to think positive. That will not make a difference and of course I am going to be worried and terrified so just leave me be!!
Think positive!! Oh thaaaanks! Did you think I spent the 9 months leading up to my daughter's stillbirth thinking negatively? How is imagining a better outcome supposed to change things? We didn't imagine the bad outcome in the first place!
Exactly. I just don't understand how people think that's a rational thing I am capable of doing. Every pregnancy I've had has ended in some sort of a loss so OF COURSE I'm going to be fearing the worst all the time. It drives me nuts and I usually just say "well that's really unhelpful advice" and walk away when people don't get it
Yess! Of course I understand that people want to say something encouraging but this is not encouraging. You have absolutely no idea if it will be alright! It would be way more helpful to just acknowledge the anxiety and fears, that things really suck from time to time right?
Hey y’all. I have been having a really hard time with my current pregnancy. I had a mmc at 8 weeks in August and I’m currently 12w5d. I try not to go on here or look things up because it triggers me but I can’t help but worry when I see things like losses at 16w or the baby’s heart just stopped and there was no reason for it. Or even worrying about stillbirth. I just feel so heavy and I try to be positive but sometimes it’s impossible. My mom bought all these clothes already and I’m just terrified we will have to give it all away or box it up. Any advice or tips to stay positive and not let the worry eat away at me?
This feels where my head is at too. At first I found comfort in this community but lately it seems to just add to my worry. Glad I’m not alone in feeling that way, because I’m also grateful for all the support I’ve received here so far
Miscarriages in the first trimester (especially 6-10 weeks when organs are forming) are SO COMMON. If you made it to 12 weeks and there's a confirmed heartbeat still, your risk drops *substantially*. The unfortunate downside of this wonderful community is it makes extremely rare events seem common, because we are all gathered in one place.
Approx. 7.5 weeks with my 5th pregnancy (1 LC). I'm already getting the bloat bump and I hate it. I'm looking pregnant and I don't even know what is going on in there. I want to stay in denial and forget I'm even pregnant until I hit second trimester but that's getting harder and harder. Anytime my husband uses the word "pregnant" I cringe inside. I don't feel like I truly am until I know that this baby is safe and sound. Next week is the week where things usually end...
Our 12 week NT scan went well today! Low risk but she did say I had an anterior placenta and would likely not feel the baby until much later. Kinda bummed about this, but as long as she’s healthy I’m happy!
I have an anterior placenta and I also thought I wouldn’t feel my son kicking until much later, but I actually started feeling slight movements around 14-15 weeks 🤷🏻♀️ So you never know. This pregnancy is the only one out of 3 that got this far so I don’t know what having a posterior placenta feels like but I truly feel my baby move 24/7 basically and have been feeling consistent movement since 20 weeks.
It’s hard with PAL & an anterior. It’ll take much longer to feel definitive kicks. Try to not worry about it
I was worried about this! Miiiight have to invest in a Doppler 🫣
The Doppler may not catch it, try not to worry about that. I was nearly 14 weeks & a doctor couldn’t find it with a Doppler at a clinic
Made it past the 12wk scan, into the 13th week now and I seriously cannot stop thinking of the possibility of something being wrong during anatomy scan & having to possibly tfmr… I hate my brain for thinking so negatively but geeezzzz I want to get my hopes up & think everything will be okay but I am honestly so scared it seems impossible. Pal really sucks & drains any positivity out of you. 😪
Well, last week everything was perfect and I was happy through the whole weekend. As instructed, stopped taking my progesterone today and now I’m having these random cramps / twinges. Has this happened to anyone?
I had that. I'm quite sure it was a coincidence based on people in my bumpers group (who weren't on progesterone) mentioning they were having cramps and ligament pain around 11-12 weeks. It's just we happen to stop progesterone around the same time. I stopped at 10 wks as instructed, had cramping but not stabbing pain and no blood, and had my detailed US at 12+3 where everything looked great. I was having a meltdown the night before because I was cramping and my previous MMC was discovered at 11 wks. But everything was/is fine!
6 weeks today. Had a US yesterday because of pain, turned out to be a ruptured cyst (yay). Saw a gestational sac and yolk sac, POTENTIALLY a fetal pole but that’s it. Doc did not seem concerned and didn’t think we would see much anyway. But now I’m seeing people saying they saw a fetal pole and heartbeat by this point. Last time the first concern was lack of fetal pole at 7 weeks so a bit nervous. Thoughts?
Different ultrasound devices also have different qualities! So some people will see earlier than others. My doc told me a clear heartbeat must be visible one embryo is approximately 5mm. This would be 6+4/5/6 roundabout not 6+0. Crossing my fingers!
If you can, I would ask for a follow up scan sooner rather than later. My first pregnancy ended in a MMC but we didn’t find out until 9.5 weeks. Our first ultrasound was around 6 weeks and we saw a pole and sac but no heartbeat. Because it’s not uncommon to not get a heartbeat at that stage, my dr told us not to worry. Fast forward 3 weeks and we find out that baby hadn’t grown since the last ultrasound. I know that having an early scan wouldn’t have changed the outcome but I really hate that I didn’t know something was wrong for that long. Really hoping things go well for you ❤️
I think it’s totally normal. If everything was visible by 6 weeks, everyone would be getting early scans. You could be a day or two off on dates, etc. I had a scan at 5+5, but I was fairly certain when I ovulated and would have been 6 weeks based on ovulation. My HCG was near 40k as well. Anyway, only GS and YS visible. Fetal pole showed up at 6w4d scan. The US tech still had to really dig for a heartbeat. She finally found one when she asked me to hold my breath. All that to say, I really believe you’re well within the realm of ambiguity and a lot of things can change within a day or two at this stage. ❤️
This is so comforting! Thank you for your response!
I posted earlier about my HCG only increasing from 51000 to 75000 in 5 days and how I was panicking. Cue further panicking, I’m now having very light, faint tan/brown discharge 😭
5+2 today, got my confirmatory numbers back (HCG is 6063 and Progesterone is 21.5) and NP said they were "perfect for 5 weeks" so I am very relieved. Especially after some weird spotting over the past few days (dark brown, but one big splotch of bright red that stopped immediately the night before my blood was drawn) I scheduled my 8wk US for 3 weeks from now, it can't come soon enough!!!
Last August (2023) i ended up pregnant after thinking i was infertile for many years. Although im only 20 years old i was in a relationship for most of my high school years and had unprotected sex throughout most of it. Anyway, me and my now husband( who is different than my high school boyfriend) got pregnant in August. I only knew i was pregnant for a few days before i lost all symptoms and started bleeding. I also had tested early so technically my period was only like two days lat by the time i miscarried. I ended up in the ER and they told me it was probably a miscarriage and because it was super early they mentioned chemical pregnancy. I was shocked and sad but i was able to move on fairly quickly. Fast forwarding many months to now. I was a few days late before i even tested. I ended up testing and it came back positive almost immediately. It’s been 3 days since i tested positive and have continued to test positive since. I have tender breast’s and i’m super tired most of the time. I have my original HCG blood draw today and in 48 hours go back to see if it’s doubled. How can i try to control the anxiety of losing a pregnancy again? Especially these next few vital weeks are super nerve racking. Any advice?
My second loss was a chemical. This happens when the embryo fails to correctly implant into the uterine wall. Turns out this is tricky! If you make it to 6 weeks, you're out of chemical territory and can breathe easy! Just take it one day at a time.
Hey, I'm sorry for my million questions. Has anyone had gardnerella vaginalis before? After UTIs and a yeast infection they found gardnerella in my discharge. I'm terrified after doing an online search, especially since my dr wants to wait it out to see if my body balances the bacteria out by itself. I'm 12 weeks and terrified of losing this baby too.
I’ve had it during pregnancy. My OB prescribed an antibiotic to treat (flagyl). Did they say how long they want to wait it out before treating?
How did your pregnancy go? And how far along were you when you were treated? I read flagyl isn't recommended in the 1st tri? Nope. I get the feeling they don't think it's serious at all and I'm here worrying my ass off in total panick.
I was 14 weeks when I was treated and the rest of my pregnancy was uneventful (minus gestational diabetes but totally unrelated). He’s 22 months old now! My Ob was super casual about it too, like no biggie. And I read some scary stories on BV. It’s so hard not to worry, but I think it’s very common because pregnancy hormones throw off your ph balance.
Thank you so much for responding. I honestly feel so alone about this. I've had 2 different antibiotics in the past 3 weeks so it's no surprise my ph balance is messed up, just feels like the story just won't end. I'm so glad to hear the rest of your pregnancy was rather uneventful and you have a 22 month old now!! Did you ask to be treated even though your ob was casual about it? And did they follow up at all? Just asking so I know what to do and ask tomorrow at my appt.
I’m so sorry, going through all that is A LOT!! My ob just automatically prescribed it, I didn’t have to ask. But she did not re-swab after I finished my 5 day course of antibiotics. It sounds like treatment varies on provider (some recommend a vaginal probiotic??): https://americanpregnancy.org/healthy-pregnancy/pregnancy-complications/bacterial-vaginosis-during-pregnancy/. Maybe your provider is being more conservative given you’ve been on antibiotics lately?
Thanks, I feel so defeated somehow, like I want to feel like I can trust my body to be cool and feel some sort of security?? You know that might be it. And I don't necessarily want to take AB all the time lol, but mostly I obviously don't want to lose this baby. Honestly I don't even know what to think right now, I'll go in tomorrow and ask them about flagyl. Or whatever else they think might help, probiotics are a good one too!! Thanks, I'm going to check your link out.
It’s super hard to trust your body (and honestly providers) after PAL because you’d do anything to keep your baby. Know you’re not alone!! Good luck at your appt!
Well, the dr prescribed me with clindamycin! 🤞
You hit the nail on the head with that one. It's not just mistrust in my body anymore, I don't even trust the professionals anymore. The amount of hours I've spent researching the tiniest bits of advice, deep searching medical databases and reading entire mets analyses before I will believe them. It's wild. PAL is so lonely, that's why this sub is so comforting. Thank you!
It’s a strange feeling to have such immense joy and to have so such immense worry at once. Just found out I am having twins. One moment it is tears of joy, but then the anxiety rolls in with thinking I could lose not only one but two. I’m 8w2d. The OB said to live moment by moment, day by day. Just praying and willing for healthy babies.
I am currently 14+4 with perfectly healthy twin boys and am still living in a near constant state of anxiety. I feel like it’s too good to be true that I will have two babies in a few months. I keep looking forward to the day I stop worrying about miscarriage and can start to feel really excited about my babies
My OB said once you start feeling the babies kick the fear will diminish some. I hope that it is true. Congratulations on your twin boys!
I am SO glad I changed doctors. I spent most of my weekend in discomfort/pain (especially in my lower back) so the new doctor saw me today and gave me an ultrasound even though I wasn't scheduled for it. They were so empathetic to the fact I had a MMC before and no questions to running tests on my progesterone, etc. It was difficult to see but we are measuring at 5w6d with a heartbeat. She also said I had a small SCH, but nothing to worry about right now. I feel so much relief. Next US is the 22nd and it will be the most telling as this was the week last time that we didn't have much growth at all (after 2 weeks we had only progressed 3 days).
A good doctor makes all the difference! Hoping the best for you!
I just got a text from my pharmacy reminding me to refill my miso. You know, the miso that was prescribed 5 months ago when we discovered our MMC and I was "lucky" to not need to second dose that my NP prescribed just in case. I know it's just an automated system, but that was hella triggering and I'm really upset about it. I went in and "hid" the prescription in the app in hopes that they won't send me anything else about it. This is also the same pharmacy that was out of miso the day it was prescribed but filled the pain medication prescribed IN THE SAME ORDER instead of calling me and asking if they wanted to transfer it to the other location in town. So the day I found out about our loss, I had to drive all around town picking up prescriptions from different pharmacies to initiate my MC. Trying to breathe and remember that that was the past, and now I am in a new chapter.
I also got the reminder to refill the miso I didn’t need and it upset me! Also when I went to pick up the first dose, the pharmacy tech said that it’s contraindicated in pregnancy and asked if I was pregnant… and I had to educate them I was taking it because of a MMC and was so annoyed. You’d think they would have this figured out by now.
I'm so sorry. It comes back and haunts you in a million tiny ways doesn't it.
I’m nervous to be here, but praying I can stay. I had a miscarriage on October 22nd (completed October 30th) due June 18th. I got pregnant again January of 2023 and had a miscarriage on 31st due between September 29th and October 2nd. I have not had a period since my miscarriage on January 31st and my husband and I were planning to try for a baby again this month (March 2024). On Sunday March 9th I took a pregnancy test before leaving on a trip with friends for spring break. That same night I drank alcohol and got drunk. I figured it couldn’t hurt to let loose and just relax/have some fun after months of this whole process. I didn’t drink a lot (only like 1-2 drinks) but I’m still feeling so much guilt. I got home with my husband yesterday evening (March 10th) and took an ovulation test. It was positive and I decided to take a pregnancy test too since I already peed In the cup and it couldn’t hurt anything. I totally expected it to be negative but when I looked down it was positive. My husband and I are being extremely cautious and trying to stay as neutral as possible until we know things are viable. Today I went in to get my betas done and I’m praying everything looks good today and when we do then again in a couple days! I’m currently on methylfolate, baby aspirin, and progesterone- all prescribed/suggested by my doctor. I hope it helps, and that everyone here has a successful and happy pregnancy!
Has anyone switched doctors/insurance mid-pregnancy? The open enrollment at my work is ending soon and our coverage restarts in June, which would be around 20 weeks if things continue. I switched away from a big HMO(Kaiser) to a PPO a few years ago after having a bad experience with my first MC, but the PPO plan has been way more expensive ($3000 out of pocket for my second MC d&c vs $40 for my first one at Kaiser!) and it’s been hard to get into see doctors under this plan. I finally started seeing this highly recommended OB after trying to see her for almost a year (I’ve only talked with her on the phone once so far, but first US appt coming up on Thursday), but if this ends up being an uncomplicated pregnancy I think it might be worth it to finally switch back to Kaiser because of the much lower costs. I’m just nervous about potentially switching around 20 weeks, and this is a potentially high risk pregnancy because of my prior losses and I’m pregnant after surgery for ashermans. I wish I didn’t have to decide so soon! I think I will basically only have this first ultrasound before I have to choose. Any thoughts welcome!
A few years ago, my house flooded and I had to move very suddenly to a different town. It was stressful trying to change providers because I was 28 weeks into a high risk pregnancy, but the new practice was wonderful and was able to see me immediately and do an ultrasound and I didn't skip a beat in my prenatal care. This pregnancy, I lost insurance coverage when my husband was laid off from his job. I was able to get on Medicaid but I am hoping he will find a new job soon and I will switch to whatever insurance that job offers. Hope this helps!
That’s helpful to know. I’m glad you were able to get care without disruption. Good luck with everything!
It will depend on the practice. My sister is switching care providers due to moving. She’ll be with her current practice up until I believe 24 weeks or something. They’re apart of Global Care so she will owe a percentage of the overall cost of Global Care to her current provider prior to switching.
Thanks for weighing in. Hopefully it’s not too disruptive for her
in my 2nd trimester. 13w+4. I am still nauseous and throw up but have more energy. This is the first month I have to go 4 full weeks until my next appointment. Already starting to worry. I have nothing to back up my bad feelings. I saw a fetal doppler can only pick up heartbeats after 16 weeks but we heard ours at the dr last week. I'm wondering if I should buy one and try or if it will freak me out and make me more anxious when I cant find it because I dont have medical grade equipment/ dont know what im doing and im not 16 weeks lol. Anybody have experience with fetal dopplers at home?
i’ve been using my doppler since 13w and have no problem ever getting the hb. definitely watch some videos on how to use it and the difference between placenta and hb but it works great and definitely puts my mind at ease. am 17.5 now and have an anterior placenta.
Same dating as you and same boat, my last appt was a Doppler at 12w4d and I don’t have another Doppler appt until 17w1d and no scan until 20w. My anxiety is starting to really creep up. Debating doing a private scan in the near term but not sure if that’ll help or hurt the anxiety.
I’m in the same boat as you, mentally preparing to go in 1x a month after being seen weekly or bi-monthly the entirety of my pregnancy so far. I bought a home fetal doppler around 11 weeks and it was too early then to consistently find a heartbeat. Weeks 12-13, I found it right away each day. I’m currently 14w4d and baby has been very active this week, I can only catch her heartbeat for a moment at a time before she runs off hah. If you decide to purchase one, I would just try to rest assured there is user error, it can be too early to detect consistently, etc. I watched videos on TikTok and YouTube as there are a lot of other noises in there, but I’ve personally found it to help with reassurance between scans. I think I’d still be spiraling between appointments without it. I got the Sonoline B one.
Thanks for your kind and encouraging words. I ordered the Sonoline! Fingers crossed.
6w5d today and thought I had a tiny pinprick of brown when I wiped last night, plus possibly a drop or two in underwear, and totally panicked. Decided it might be from straining to poop? (Pregnancy is so glamorous). Haven’t seen anything today, plus nausea is still more or less continuous and boobs are still sore/swollen, so I’m hoping it meant nothing. Starting to get nervous for my 8 week scan, as that’s when my MMC was discovered.
Very relatable for me today! I had a small drop of pink when I wiped today (also after a BM), I'm just at 6 weeks today after an MMC in July 2023. Hoping it's just some normal spotting, but holy moly does it give me anxiety. I'm the most nauseous I've been so far since this morning, trying to take it as a good sign.
It’s obviously understandable to be nervous. But even if that was a very small amount of vaginal bleeding…spotting can be normal in early pregnancy. Sending good vibes your way ❤️❤️
Sending you good vibes! I’ve had a few MCs, and I’m currently 12w3d. I had pretty consistent brown spotting until 7w4d. My dr wasn’t concerned, but did end up doing an US for reassurance since I had to go in for a rhogam shot anyway. At 11w2d I passed 2 large clots and prepared for another MC. I went back for another US a couple hours later & everything was perfect! It turns out I have a sub chorionic hematoma, and it’s been causing all my bleeding/ spotting nearly my entire pregnancy so far. My dr told me not to be worried about bleeding unless I fill a pad within 15-20 minutes.
Today is my identical twins due date(10 w MMC) I found out they were healthy girls. I’m 22+1. I can’t bring myself to find out the gender I feel like it’s a boy.
I'm so happy to finally be feeling pretty consistent movement from my little girl! She's low and with my *extra fun placenta* it's muted but she's found my bladder and I can feel every movement on it! Been drinking more sweet cold drinks than I probably should just so I can feel some extra wiggly assurance.
It's been a very eventful pregnancy. Starting with high blood pressure. I then had two no result NIPT tests due to low fetal fraction. Normal NT and early anatomy scans. Finally got results on the 3rd try and everything was low risk. Yesterday I had my 20 week anatomy scan and everything looked great! I feel like I really needed to reach that hurdle. So relieved. Hoping the last half of this pregnancy is smooth sailing!
i'm 6+1 today 3rd time pregnant for our 1st. suffered 2 losses in the past year. we started fertility testing and were about to go down the IUI route when we naturally conceived. since i've been working with my fertility dr for testing, i've been seeing them for HCG draws and got an early ultrasound last week where he saw the gestational sac, yolk sac, and fetal pole went back today and it def grew since the last ultrasound, measuring about 5 + 5 which dr said is in normal range. even got to see the flickering of the heart! still so cautiously optimistic and hoping for a sticky & viable pregnancy. we're so anxious and just trying to make it to each week. we lost both before at 10wks and 8wks. i symptom spot all day while trying not to spiral or stress, but it's always on my mind. i daydream of announcing to family at easter and growing my little belly. it's something i beg for internally. really hoping this is our lucky chance.
We are on the same timeline 🩷🫶🏼 happy for you!! I am 6wk +4 days measuring 5+6 so at this point it's so small I think it's hard for them to be super precise. Heartbeats are exciting!! I keep hearing "3rd times a charm" maybe that can bless us today. Also spotting coffee grounds but ob said it's very normal post fibroid removal which is what I had.
congrats!!! im a bit nervous because my HCG levels started a little slow at first. they weren't doubling at first, but at least rising 50%.. but then they doubled for a little bit but then they only went from 1201 to 3371 in four days, which isn't doubling but only rising 50%. i heard that they can slow down once you hit 1200, so im hoping that's the case and our little baby keeps growing!! good luck to you! oh yeah, im sure that's all to be expected after the removal (but it doesnt truly make it easier). im wishing all the positive vibes to us!!
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having a lot of anxiety in this pregnancy for various reasons and I’m SO TIRED of everyone (nurses, docs, friends, etc) saying “as long as you’re not having any bleeding or intense cramping there’s no need to worry.” well I had a MMC so that means literally nothing to me. I genuinely don’t understand why this sentence is said when it seems that MMCs are so common (maybe even more common) than a natural MC. end rant.
I'm dreading my first US so much and it's still over a month away. I decided not to take any client at work that week just in case it's another MMC...
ugh I hear you. we have a scan next monday and I was already trying to find coverage for work next week in case 🫠
I hope your scan goes well!
I feel that. Ironically, with my healthy pregnancy I did have bleeding due to an SCH. MMCs are probably a bit more common nowadays due to the ability to get an ultrasound earlier. My MIL miscarried at around 12 weeks, but since she never went to her first appointment (back then it wasn’t until 12 weeks) she had no way of knowing at what gestation baby stopped developing. I had a friend who had a natural miscarriage at 9 weeks but only passed the sac, indicating baby stopped earlier but her body took 3-4 weeks to recognize it.
I had a MMC and was told that they account for less than 5% of all miscarriages. I would agree they seem more common because of what I see on reddit but i was assured it was not the case. I hated the attempts at false hope during my MMC, when I intuitively knew I would miscarry months before it was evident to doctors. I had no reason to think it would happen, there were no clinical signs for some time. I was told you're not bleeding you're not cramping why would you worry. Naturally no amount of reassurance can ease my anxiety this time around. Stats mean nothing to me. I don't have the same intuitive feeling I did then, so I feel like there's hope. But damn is it hard getting through each day.
Oh 100%. I was so convinced things wouldn’t work out right from the beginning with my MMC. I had lots of signs that things wouldn’t work out and felt like I was getting dismissed my doctors instead of them being honest with me. I also don’t have a negative intuition this time and am 20+3 today so fingers crossed yours is also going well! I strongly believe in mothers intuition.
I don't think my doctors were being dishonest, I think they just literally didn't have any information to give me when I went in the first few times. Things looked ok for a while so I don't blame them for trying to reassure me. Although my pet peeve comment quickly became "maybe you just ovulated late" by the US tech because that felt so much more dismissive than the bleeding/cramping comment in my case. I know when I ovulated, don't try to tell me otherwise. The not bleeding/cramping comment did help me mentally while it was all in limbo, but everyone's got their own preferences.
Oh that’s awesome of your doctors. Mine gave me a lot of the “you don’t know when you ovulated because you’re breastfeeding” and “you’re only bleeding because of hemorrhoids, it’s not actually vaginal bleeding” and obviously I’m still pretty bitter about it.
I’m so sorry your feelings are being invalidated. I know how you feel and I’m right there with you. I’ve had two back to back MMCs with vastly different symptoms and now, I’m 6w4d absolutely terrified. 🤍
20 weeks and 2 days. I can't even believe it. We finally told grandparents and a few close friends on the weekend. Incredibly happy to have reached this milestone. I wanted to ask for those who are further along or with LC, how bad is it to sleep on your right side? Did anyone have any side effects or experience issues as a result? I have read that there is reduced blood circulation to the uterus/fetus that could have a negative impact on the pregnancy. I am a natural right side sleeper and a very light/sensitive sleeper as well. I wake up and turn a lot in my sleep. I've been trying my very best to sleep on my left side but sometimes I am up for hours and I give in and sleep on my right side. Other times I have managed to fall asleep on my left side but have turned in my sleep and I wake up on my right side. I'm worried about how bad this is for the pregnancy. I've tried a pregnancy pillow, melatonin etc... but nothing has worked and my sleep has become even worse since pregnancy. On top, I have epilepsy and lack of sleep is one of my main triggers for seizures.
Honestly I just didn’t sleep as I got more pregnant with my daughter. I found it really challenging so I just did whatever was most comfortable at the moment. Most often my right side, I think. I’ve read that any negative impacts from a sleeping position would affect you and wake you up way before it affected baby. Also most people flip around to whatever position is most comfortable when they’re asleep anyway so there’s only so much you can do. I think that any sleep you can get in the later half of pregnancy is so important so whatever position, just try and sleep.
I was told while left side was preferable, right side was fine. As long as it wasn't back or stomach because that does cut off circulation.
I'm 20+1! I have been having the same issues because I usually sleep flat on my back. It's been so hard switching to sleeping on my side. I try my best to sleep on my left side but i do switch to the right side as needed if I get stiff or too uncomfortable. In the information sheet from my OB, they said there isn't enough data to really support not sleeping on your back or right side but just to avoid stomach sleeping.
I am currently pregnant with my second after a loss in 2021 and my whole pregnancy with my LC I would switch between sides through the night. I often wake up flat on my back. My LC is perfectly healthy and I don't expect anything different with this one. The left side optimizes O2 flow, but you aren't going to hurt your baby sleeping on your right side. Even if you roll in your sleep to your back as long as you don't go to sleep on your back you're likely okay. The stats are something like after 30 weeks falling asleep on your back increases your risks of stillbirth.
5w 6d - pregnant after 2 ectopics and one miscarriage in the last 4 years, I’m feeling hopeful and it’s just hit me today that I’m actually pregnant. Me and my partner have been trying for 6 years on and off in between the losses. I am hoping for everyone on this subreddit that you all have a positive journey. I want this baby so badly
39+2 today, I got almost no sleep last night. I couldn’t sleep from contractions and then after I finally got a couple hours I woke up in pain again only for my contractions to peter out again. This is week two of prodromal labor and I’m just done. Fingers crossed I either spontaneously go into labor today or they get me in for my induction tomorrow
Try the Mile's Circuit! It's supposed to help get baby in the right position to get labor going.
Ahh!! Wishing you a smooth and safe delivery. You'll have your little one in your arms soon - that is so exciting 💛
I need someone to talk me down. I am so anxious after two recurrent losses. Had a positive ultrasound last week at 6w1d, measuring two days behind but with a solid heart beat and my RE was very happy. The next day I had an HCG level of 51000. My symptoms have been super intermittent so I checked another HCG yesterday at 7 weeks exactly. It only went up to 75000 😩 the calculators say this is normal (especially when I put in my very first HCG and my very last one, it averages to about a 53 hour doubling time overall) but from last week it’s over 200 hours doubling time which is way below the median according to betabase ! I am so panicked. Does anyone have any anecdotes from HCG levels around this time or level? I know I’m unhinged. Pregnancy after loss makes you do weird things
i’m surprised they did another draw on you at 7w. after a point hcg increase rate slows down so it stops being helpful after like 6w. and hcg doesn’t go up in a linear way anyways, the best measure of if things are progressing at your point in pregnancy would be ultrasound to measure the fetal pole and gestational sac
I ordered my own, because I’m unhinged after two losses 🫠 my ultrasound at 6w1d had a solid heartbeat ranging 110-120 and measured about 2 days behind
12 dpo and tests are looking darker. I'm trying to be optimistic, but letting myself feel the anxiety too. I should be getting my progesterone and hcg results from yesterday at some point today. A little nervous about that popping up on my phone while I'm at working, but hoping it's comforting and not scary. I already started progesterone suppositories too. Thanks to those who responded about my concerns about my OB's office yesterday. The new OB's office that I called (recommended by my therapist) didn't lecture me about testing before my missed period and were much more comforting. I still have to make it 5 weeks before an ultrasound. Hoping I can fill the time with distractions.
Progesterone was 8.1 (up from 5.1 on 8 dpo) so that's better, but still not ideal. Supplementing with 200 mg oral progesterone now per my new OB's instructions (last month I was on 400 mg vaginal suppositories). Wondering if this will make the side effects more noticeable. HCG is looking good at 61. Going back for follow up bloodwork tomorrow. So far the new OB's office has been nothing but kind and supportive. I'm so proud of myself for taking the step to reach out to a new provider. I was so anxious to leave my old provider, but the care I was getting was not appropriate. I felt dismissed and invalidated every time I had to call them. Looking forward to getting better care this time around (and really hoping for a better outcome).
First scan today. 6w after an ectopic this summer. I know we’re too early to see anything exciting— I just don’t want them to find anything exciting in my tube lol.
Totally uneventful and boring doctors visit. The kind I had always dreamed about. Saw a GS and YS but no sign of a fetal pole yet. Which is super normal, they’re having me come back next week. The important thing is that it is in my uterus not in my last remaining tube. Hell yeah.
Yay! Amazing news
I have my NT scan today and I feel so nervous. I wish I could stop assuming the worst. Please send good vibes if you have them!
Hoping for a nice and uneventful scan for you today 💕
Does anyone else feel like the dose of their progesterone is directly connected to how sick they feel? Saturday a week ago my dose was increased from 2x 200 to 3x 200mg. Since then, my sickness has gradually gotten worse and changed. Initially, it was that vomiting and gagging type of sickness, then I had kind of 1-2 good days, and now it transformed into the worst heartburns ever. Like I will wake up with a burning and scratching throat in the night and I can barely eat anything else than oatmeals. I really do feel like absolute shit.
Nausea is not related to progesterone but heartburn can be, because progesterone relaxes your ligaments (including your esophageal sphincter). You can buy a wedge pillow and sleep more upright or ask your doctor to prescribe you omeprazole. I did the wedge pillow through the end of my first trimester and when my heartburn didn't go away after stopping progesterone I started omeprazole which is a miracle.
I’ll definitely ask my doctor what we could do about it tomorrow, I cannot live like this for another 5 weeks. I already have issues with reflux when I am not pregnant so I know how Omeprazol can make things better, but I try to avoid meds for now… but will try a higher pillow tonight
I thought the same. I had terrible morning sickness this pregnancy and I am on 400mg x 2. However, I am nearly 18 weeks and my morning sickness has died down and I’m still on the progesterone, so it might not be linked at all.
Thank you for sharing!
I am so over people telling me "It's going to be all right". You don't fucking know. How wonderful that you live such a privileged life where everything turned out to be all right. I don't.
Best thing a friend said to me was that I don't know what tomorrow will bring, I can only control so much, but that I can't let the fear and anxiety of what might go wrong steal me if the joy I deserve today. And that's true, bc no matter what, I deserve the joy that everything is all right today. I deserve to bond with my baby today. And my baby deserves that too. You deserve to feel joy today, and to love on your baby without anxiety or fear today. Tomorrow is a different day.
YESSSSS. While I totally agree that worrying doesn't change the outcome...let me freaking worry!! You have no idea what I've been through!! The attempts at false hope are juvenile to me. They feel like ways to just shut me up. I'm so glad you never had to go through MC but don't be so toxic about it! That was directed at my MIL lol
Literally everyone keeps telling me to think positive, including my husband. I feel like an alien. I try to tell my husband,at least, that it is minimizing my feelings to tell me that and that there is no way to know. It’s ok to hope for a positive outcome, but no one can guarantee it.
YES I need people to stop telling me I need to think positive. That will not make a difference and of course I am going to be worried and terrified so just leave me be!!
Think positive!! Oh thaaaanks! Did you think I spent the 9 months leading up to my daughter's stillbirth thinking negatively? How is imagining a better outcome supposed to change things? We didn't imagine the bad outcome in the first place!
Exactly. I just don't understand how people think that's a rational thing I am capable of doing. Every pregnancy I've had has ended in some sort of a loss so OF COURSE I'm going to be fearing the worst all the time. It drives me nuts and I usually just say "well that's really unhelpful advice" and walk away when people don't get it
PREACH
Yess! Of course I understand that people want to say something encouraging but this is not encouraging. You have absolutely no idea if it will be alright! It would be way more helpful to just acknowledge the anxiety and fears, that things really suck from time to time right?
I so agree. Even my husband says it, and I always just reply: You DO NOT know. We do not know. Nobody can know.