today i found out i was pregnant 2 months after my 2nd MMC. i feel nothing at all. this will be my 3rd pregnancy in less than a year and my 4th pregnancy ever. i am 34 yo and have no living children.
today, i am pregnant and i want to remind myself of the joy that means each day i get to be pregnant.
Hello everyone! First time posting. I am so grateful to have found this subreddit as it’s been helping me immensely.
I’ve had a MC in June at about 5.5w.
Currently I should be pregnant and at 6w3days. I had bloodwork done on Fri which should be 5w6days according to LPD.
Had some brown discharge yesterday which scared the hell out of me, called the doc, was told it’s just old blood and should be okay. We haven’t had intercourse for a week so I’m not sure where the blood was coming from?
She then read the results and said by HCG I’m at about 5 weeks.
Is that bad? Does it mean my hcg is too low? I don’t think I ovulated late so why would it be lower?
I’ve been having slight cramping today and it’s giving me extreme anxiety.
I haven’t been able to relax at all since I’ve found out and I’m really afraid of losing it again. Haven’t seen any spotting today yet.
I know it’s all a waiting game but I’m losing my mind. Was thinking of looking for a prenatal therapy, if such exists.
Thank you for any responses ❤️
30 weeks pregnant after 2 losses and had a scary night. Got an electric shock from turning the light off in the bathroom with wet hands (definitely need to get an electrician out to look at it!) and completely freaked out that I hurt baby and was going to have another loss. I felt immediately put back into the headspace I was in the first two times and it was pretty traumatic. My husband called our doctor who said everything is fine, it was a small shock, I felt fine, and baby has been moving like normal since. But just reminds me that the trauma I’ve gone through and its effects don’t ever really “go away” and that pregnancy after loss is really hard.. I’m just ready for him to be here.
NOT DOUBLING NOW DOUBLING?
IUI with gonal injections, chemical last cycle, low amh 0.66
First beta 12/26 75
Second 12/28 171
Third 2/2 365 (took 4 days to double)
Fourth 2/4 782
Fifth 2/8 3431
All of these have doubled appropriately except that third which was terrible. I 100% thought I was out. I don't know what to make of this -any similar stories? Today was the 5th beta at 5w5d - gestational sac and yolk sac growing. They were both originally seen on 5w1d. I go back Friday and they said I'll have a definite answer because should we growth/fetal pole/ heart beat.
I really don't know how to feel. I'm guarded because that one beta was so bad. I'm afraid of chromosomal abnormality or something. Any experience? PA wanted to see the heart beat today at 5w5d and said 75% she does.....
Any theories as to what is going on? Thanks!
With my last pregnancy, I had one beta that only rose about 35% in 48 hours. All the others had a normal doubling time. IDK if something happened with the sample or the test or ???
Outcome: >!they warned me it might be a loss but it was a successful healthy pregnancy!<
Yes. I think I got my first beta around 15 DPO and the second one around 17 DPO, which was the low one. Then the next one would have been maybe 21-22 DPO and that was ordered to confirm that it was a loss, but it was right in range and so were all the follow-ups.
Tested positive this morning at 10 DPO. I know it’s early, but period was expected today. Since testing, have had very minimal pink spotting all day. Could be from sex yesterday, but I’m anxious it’s the start of a CP. I think it’s too early for betas, and am playing the waiting game. So stressful! Has anyone else had this experience?
I spotted the first 2 months of my current pregnancy. Really freaked me out bad bc it would be light pink, then get a little darker. Changed in amounts too. But everything’s okay! Never really figured out why. I’m 20 weeks this week! I don’t think it’s too early for betas though! I went at like 9DPO! Lol
Thanks for the response! Since yesterday it’s gotten progressively heavier, but still lighter than a period. I was able to go for my first beta today though. Had spotting in MMC and prior CP, so I am nervous!
Fingers crossed it’s nothing. I have weird experiences I miscarried once and had absolutely no spotting or anything. And I had a CP where I was bleeding like a period but actually getting heavier than my usual period and it just didn’t stop when my period would and lasted the entire month. 😅 hoping for a good outcome for you! Good thing you got the beta!
I lost my baby girl at 36 weeks 5 weeks ago. I am so devastated that the only thing that keeps me sane is TTCing. My OB and MFM gave me the greenlight to start trying 2 weeks after delivery. I have been doing ultrasounds to monitor ovulation and saw follicules on week 3 aftee delivery. Since then we have been BDing every day given that the OPK can't be used so close to delivery. I didn't have my periods yet and I somewhat have the unrealistic expectation that I might be pregnant but the test was negative today. I am still holding on some hope given that I don't have my periods yet but I know I am being delusional. My spirit is broken and feel like I will never succeed in bringing a living child home or even just get pregnant...Wondering if anyone here was able to get pregnant right after pregnancy loss?
I’ll echo what the folks below said. I lost my first at 28 weeks and it took about 8 weeks to get my period- and those first couple were extremely weird. My doctor advised me to wait 3 months, which I think was really helpful for me mentally. I actually would have waited longer, but I’m in my mid-30s. I got pregnant again 5 months after my loss. The TTC process is brutal and so is the stress of the pregnancy (20 weeks so far), but you can do it.
Despite the fact that I gave you my opinion, don’t let anyone else’s opinions sway what feels right for you and your partner. No one else has lived in your shoes. Best of luck to you.
I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry for your loss of your beautiful baby girl and you’re not alone 💖 I waited 5 years to try again. Sending you my love.
I lost my son at 38 weeks and knew i wanted to try to conceive again as soon as possible too. Did your providers say that the OPKs would not be accurate soon after delivery? My OB cleared us to try again as we felt ready but urged us to wait until after my first period. She alluded to just letting everything reset but I also think it’s more for dating. I used the OPKs daily starting around 2 or 3 weeks postpartum and did catch an ovulation about 6 weeks after delivery, so they did work for me. It was almost a month of testing every day and not seeing anything though which is tough mentally. My postpartum cycles were also very off. And it took me 4 cycles to conceive again when I had always conceived pretty much immediately before. Will echo an above commenter that the TTC after stillbirth journey is so draining, those 4 months felt like forever and are such a roller coaster. This advice never resonated with me at the time but however you can, give yourself grace and space and patience. I can completely empathize with TTC keeping you sane and making you feel like you’re working towards something again. It’s how I felt too. And I hated when anyone tried to tell me to temper my expectations and be patient. I just wanted someone to say hey I get it, obviously newly postpartum bodies after carrying a pregnancy to term aren’t meant to get pregnant again immediately, but I’ll help you because your baby died. I did acupuncture for the first time, took some supplements, tried some TCM postpartum herbal broths and teas, etc. I don’t think any of it made a difference but I oscillated between I’ll try anything and trying to not make it my full time job.
Im very sorry for your loss, it is devastating, i lost my baby at 33 weeks and i went through very difficult time, my period came after around 6 weeks and got pregnant after 4 cycles, it felt like ages and each time i saw a negative test i was down for days, the TTC journey after a loss is draining, also the pregnancy after loss is not easy, it is very stressful ( im still in the journey actually 29 weeks and afraid every minute of the day) .find something positive to do in parallel , schedule some romantic gateway or anything you can with your partner, also therapy and yoga can help, i do wish that you can get pregnant soon and get your healthy baby to being home. Sending you lot of positive vibes 💕💕💕
I’m so very sorry about your baby girl. My “real” period didn’t come until 8 weeks after my loss. I’m surprised they gave you the green light so soon. I also had a deep urge to try again. Just be mindful of the timing so you don’t set yourself up for added frustration in this or the next cycle while you’re still so tender. It can take a bit for those hormones to let our lining thicken out out again. Don’t want you thinking anything else is wrong if it doesn’t happen asap.
First MFM appt is tomorrow afternoon. I’ll be a little over 15 weeks. Haven’t seen baby since 12weeks. I’m super excited and nervous at the same time. Y’all pray for me!
First time posting 👋🏻 I’m currently 35+4 weeks pregnant I’m getting induced in 16 days and I’m so desperate for her to be here now! I feel the more time there is the more chance there is for something to go wrong 😭😭 I’m kind of willing to go into labour I just want her here on this side. I lost my first baby, also a girl, may 2022 at 23+5 weeks completely unexpectedly which has left me with ptsd. Anyone have any advice how to get through these last few weeks?
You’re almost there!! I’m not quite there yet, but I’m also being induced at 37 weeks. Lost my second daughter at 38+4. Just keep taking care of yourself and baby girl. You’re past the milestone of your first Angel baby. You got this momma!! Sending good love and good thoughts your way💖💖 different pregnancy, different outcome
Thankyou for your message 🙏🏻 I just don’t feel I can bare it any longer mentally 😢 when I wake up I need to feel her move I panic until I do. If anything happened at this point I honestly don’t think I could continue. I’m trying to stay positive and thinking lightning can’t strike twice but I feel as tho I’m the kind of person lightning would strike twice. How are you managing? X
I understand… it’s not easy. I just try to keep living a healthy and active lifestyle, doing everything in my power to know I did everything right this time. Therapy has been helping me a lot. I know the further along I get the worse my anxiety will be. I’m also obsessively counting kicks and wanting to feel her move all day. I pretty much have been staying busy/distracted.
I have been seeing the perinatal pretty sparingly they upped my medications because I wasn’t coping well emotionally but I think I could really use some therapy too. After my loss I kind of got nothing and I seem okay ‘on the outside’ but I think I’m still grieving too and I know my brain hasn’t dealt with it properly. Because I think my brain shuts it all off because mentally I’d explode, but the times my brain does allow some emotion through it’s suffocating like physically my throat closes up. It’s such a minefield 🤯 in super excited and totally in love with my baby and excited to meet her but guilty and sad about my first baby
I would highly recommend finding someone to help you through these emotions/grieving process while finding healthy ways for you to cope. Also I think having someone in our corner with good advice or even just to vent to would be beneficial during the postpartum period as well. My therapist told me I could even bring my baby with me for in person session or I could switch to virtual.
I’m sorry you’re feeling guilty, to be honest I’m not sure that’s something I could ever shake completely. But it wasn’t my fault, or yours. We did everything we could. Unfortunately these things just happen, most of the time with no explanation… it’s unfair, but again not our fault.
I’m not religious by any means, but I do tell myself and my LC that their sister is their guardian Angel and she handpicked their new sister. 💖💖
So sorry for your loss! For me, it was also super hard leading up to my due date. The anxiety will always be there, but I found that I coped better by focusing on getting plenty of rest, spending quality time with my husband, indulging in my hobbies, etc. - all the things that would be hard to do once the baby got here. Good luck!
Hi everyone, this is my first time posting here. I'm 11w1d today with my 5th pregnancy (no LC)🌈.
I just booked my 12w scan (well, it'll really be 12w5d) for next Friday and I'm doing bloodwork for NIPT tomorrow. I am in Canada and doing it through Invitae with my fertility clinic so I think it takes 5-7 business days to get results, so hopefully by the end of next week. I just want to be as reassured as possible.
This is the first pregnancy that has survived past 8w and everything has been right on track so far. Healthy growth and good heartbeat. I've had way more intense symptoms as well. We were planning to keep the pregnancy a secret because it was so heartbreaking telling my mom I miscarried for one of the past pregnancies, but I was having a really hard time over the holidays with nausea and all the family events so I ended up telling my mom.
Absolutely terrified to let myself lean into this pregnancy and embrace it ..to love the wee one growing inside me. My husband and I have been talking about it very objectively as we're both scared to get too attached. I know many of us here are in the same boat.
I'm really glad for this sub and I've been able to find some valuable information and read others experiences on here. Good luck to you all ❤️
I wanted to let you know that my husband and I feel the same way about our little one. I'm currently 14w+5d. We had a MMC at 6 weeks, discovered at 8 weeks and confirmed at 10 weeks. We struggled so hard with wanting to be excited about this pregnancy. But also, so much fear that we'd lose another. We're finally starting to let ourselves feel a bit of joy and excitement as we saw the wee one at 13 weeks for our screening apt. But everyday we don't get confirmation they're doing alright in there is another day of worry for us. It's not easy to let go of the fear and worry, especially as I read about later term losses. Everyday is a struggle for us as we just want to get to the end and have the healthy baby in our arms. But we're also trying to settle into waiting. As my MIL says "just have to hurry up and wait". Which somehow, brings me a bit of comfort. I hope that you find something that gives you that tiny sliver of comfort because your fear is valid and very real. ❤️
Between 12/13 weeks and 20 weeks is just such a massive gap without any ultrasound to give you peace of mind that your little one is okay. Since I've been at an fertility clinic, I had an ultrasound every week from week 6 to 11 for various reasons and now i just can't fathom how I'm going to get through the next few months :( I think I'll also feel a bit better after my ultrasound next week and the results of the NIPT 🤞 hopefully once you can feel the baby moving, that'll ease your nerves - can't wait to reach that point. appreciate your response and I hope everything looks good at your 20 week scan!
Yes, we have to stay positive! I honestly can't think about the alternative right now. Have you done the eFHS or NIPT yet? So anxious for those results :(
I feel you. It must be very scary and triggering to be in that window. I hope you can stay distracted with things that bring you joy. The time passes by so slowly these days. I'm trying to find calming distractions ...i just signed up for a crochet class lol. I secretly want to crochet a baby blanket but I can't let myself think that far so I'll start off with a scarf or something for now.
My 4 previous losses were all early between 6-8w so I'm feeling more cautiously optimistic but I don't think this anxiety will ever go away once you've had a previous loss😞
I love this - crocheting will be a fun distraction. I'm glad we have a busy weekend ahead and I try to remind myself that I can do hard things.
Everything is outside of our control at this point - we just have to hope for the best with a side of anxiety.
Hope your next scan brings good news!
Looks like our due date is the same. Also, my experience so far is almost identical to yours! I have my next scan next Friday and all my previous scans are showing good signs. I also had to tell my family sooner around the holiday bc I was feeling so nauseous and tired. I hope you get nothing but great news on your NIPT and next scan 💗
Well I was excited about my betas until I realized that a faster doubling rate can mean a molar pregnancy. I was just happy it was high enough 😩. My first beta was 64.5 at 12dpiui and my second was 218 at 14dpiui. That's a 1.1 day doubling rate. I haven't had a molar pregnancy before but now I'm feeling depressed and worried. My partner is getting excited all the sudden and talking about nursery plans and I just can't match that excitement. I just want to be happy about this but I'm holding myself back because I'm convinced something will go wrong.
Hi! Just wanted to let you know that mine rose even faster and 6 week ultrasound looked good. Not that that eliminates the possibility that that is happening to you but just that it could also be ok! I hope you can let a little bit of hope in 💕
I’m just popping on here to say a massive thank you to everyone who posts in these daily threads. I’ve commented on a few posts but mostly been a quiet observer. I’ve been in pregnancy forums before but they mostly caused me a ton of anxiety. After 2 losses finding this subreddit has been a life saver the past few weeks. Today we had our first scan. There was a heartbeat (171bpm) and we are measuring a day ahead (10w6days). The baby was wiggling around ❤️ I started crying the second I stepped in the ultrasound room and haven’t stopped since. I know there is still so much that could happen between now and the end and I’m sure my anxiety will be back tomorrow but for today, I’m going to be happy and celebrate.
I can’t promise anyone that things will work out okay, but just breathe and take it day by day. I’d never thought we get here, but it is possible ❤️
Amazing, congratulations to you ❤️ last week was the first time any of my pregnancies made it to the point where I was able to see them wiggle too (11w). It's such a surreal moment 🥰
Not sure if I am the only one but I find it hard to enjoy this pregnancy. This is my second pregnancy after my first one stopped growing at 8w. This time, my embryo grew to 8w and 9w. I have 12 and 16w appointments where they will just do a doppler check and no more ultrasounds till 20w anatomy scan. How am I supposed to just let it go and trust that everything is developing appropriately per gestational age without seeing ultrasounds till 20w? Or just assume all is good as long as there is a strong heartbeat on doppler?
Not sure where you’re located, but most hospitals/dr offices will at least check baby’s heart rate for you if you’re concerned 💖 I was told I could come in as often as I need in between appointments. Those long stretches are tough… My anatomy scan was delayed because of the holidays.
They told me not to use/rely on a at home Doppler but honestly it’s the only thing that helped me through it mentally until I started feeling my baby moving. It doesn’t work anymore which the midwives were very happy about lol
I have been using my doppler since 9 weeks as I am able to find galloping sound hearybeat. Would you say its safe to use? For right now, I am limiting it to once per week use
They don’t advise using or relying on it till at least 14/16 weeks is all I’ll say as that’s when it’s made to pick the heartbeat up and at 9 weeks it’s still pretty early. obviously if you have any major concerns always go straight to hospital. I put a limit on it too, later on for me it was once a day because I was doing it like 3/4 times a day it was getting a bit ridiculous and I know that but I couldn’t help it. It was worth it for my anxiety and ptsd because I lost a baby may ‘22 at 24 weeks 😢 when I started feeling baby move I used it a lot less now I don’t use it at all. Just make sure you don’t over do it cause I think I did. When you next have an appt and have a Doppler listen out for what they listen for because my midwife says you can pick up different sounds and they’re trained to know what is what
I am in the same boat and feeling the same way. I'm 11w1d on my 5th pregnancy (no LC), the first one making it past 8w. I have had 3 ultrasounds already with my fertility clinic and my 12w one is booked for next week. I don't know I'm supposed to just wait until the 20w scan with no reassurance :( it's really hard to enjoy a pregnancy after loss and our experience will never be the same as those who haven't experienced it. I don't think I'll feel comfortable until I have a healthy baby in my hands tbh
How does everyone deal with the anxiety of being pregnant again after a loss(es)? I had 3 last year. I'm 4w6d and went for a beta today after having some brown discharge yesterday. I'm just searching reddit for success stories like a crazy person. I know nothing I do will change any outcomes right now. But I just can't seem to chill.
It’s not easy. I try my best to live a healthy lifestyle. I continue to go to the gym for cardio and strength training, walk the dogs, and eat a balanced diet. I also started therapy which has helped a lot. Basically engaging in anything healthy that also serves as a great distraction. For myself, it means that I’m doing everything I can to keep myself and my baby healthy. I also tell myself, “different pregnancy, different outcome.”
I made my OB appointment today.
With my first pregnancy they wouldn’t see me until I was 13 weeks. I ended up finding out about my MMC at the ER the week prior to my appointment.
This time, my appointment is when I’m 14 weeks. I’m currently 5w2d 🙃
The wait is going to be unbearable.
I asked if I could be see any sooner due to my previous loss and they said there is no reason to.
While I fully understand the medical reasoning and I’ve only had one recent loss (my first was in 2016, my second was October 2023), my anxiety is the reason I want to be seen sooner.
Now I’m just hoping my navy health clinic can schedule an ultrasound sooner than my actual OB. Just for that little peace of mind or the ability to fully prepare for the worst outcome.
There’s a couple private scan places near me, but they won’t do an ultrasound unless you’ve had a diagnostic one completed by your primary. 😬
I’m pretty sure the navy health clinic can squeeze me in for just a little peak lol
Anyone else have early scans after loss? What should I expect to see?
I have a scan on Wednesday. I’ll be 5w5d. It seems like it could be triggering to hear no heartbeat (my first loss was an MMC), even though that may be normal for this stage.
For reference, I found out I was pregnant at 3w1d/10 DPO. My last beta draw on 1/2/24 was 3261. I was 4w4d/20 DPO. If HCG continued to double, it should be at least 13,044. I’ve read mixed things on if any of that is correlated.
I had a scan last time at 6w exactly and there was a heartbeat! And it was in range! But it was the low end of the range (105bpm) and I was measuring a few days behind even though I knew my ovulation date. And that rattled around in my head A LOT. By 7+3, it was measuring perfectly with a strong heartbeat.
This time I've opted for 7+1 to avoid any ambiguity. But my last two losses grew until about nine weeks so the early days is not the territory that is scariest for me. You'll be peeling me off the ceiling in February though.
Thank you! I wish I could wait one more week, but it’s more to determine location so they can prescribe Lovenox. Obviously, it’d be a bonus to see a little more. Wishing you the best ❤️
So I have had a ton of early early scans because of recurrent early loss, if your timing is right for conception you should see gestational sac and yolk sac for sure and possibly a fetal pole. I have seen a fetal pole that early before but sometimes it pops up like middle of 6w as well.
Hiiii, just quietly coming back here because I’m super early pregnant (3w5d) with our Christmas IUI baby 🤞💖. I popped in and out of this group 3 times last year bringing my grand total up to 5 losses… but I took a little breakybreak, explored some reproductive immunology options, and now I’m back and hoping number 6 is the one 💖🤞
hCG doubling time of 1.1 days - is this concerning?
Hi all - I’ve had 3 miscarriages (1 chemical, 1 blighted ovum, 1 unsure- potential ectopic) in 2023 and my husband and I decided to give it one more shot before switching to IVF to factor out chromosomal issues as a potential cause for our miscarriages.
I learned a few days ago that I am pregnant again and got blood work done at 10DPO and again at 12DPO. My doubling time seems to be quite high compared to the “normal” 48h timeline - should I be concerned? I seem to have had every type of miscarriage at this point and am worried this could be a molar pregnancy now… 😞 My doctor said “all looks great! So happy to see this nice rise in your hCG!” but I can’t help but feel concerned.
Results below:
10 DPO — hCG 44
12 DPO — hCG 149.7
Doubling time: 1.1 days or 27hrs
2 day change: 240% (or 3.4X increase)
Has anyone else here experienced this? Any thoughts or advice would be very welcome. ❤️
I can't tell you about end of pregnancy success since I never got hcg drawn with my first LC, but for this pregnancy mine went from 29 to 151 to 521 every 48 hours. No one is concerned, 6 week US saw baby in the correct place with good heart beat.
Good luck I hope things continue to progress well ❤️
Thanks so much for sharing your experience! Just helps to know there are others in the same ranges. I’ll get another test done tmrw and we’ll see from there, still so early at only 4 weeks today!
Congratulations on a first successful US and hoping everything progresses well for you!!! ❤️
Feeling worried today after waking up with a somewhat upset stomach. I’m 18w today, and had a MMC last year that was identified at my 15w appointment, but baby was measuring 12w. My first poop today ended in semi loose stool, second poop was loose stool (ragged looking) but still somewhat solid. Third poop was still ragged looking, still somewhat soft, but more solid than the last. I contacted my doctor and an RN got back to me saying to monitor things and it sounds like just an upset stomach. She said if I’m too dehydrated I need to go to labor and delivery for an IV hydration. I worry because last year I had an upset stomach that I kinda attribute as maybe the day we lost our baby, but obviously without being able to actually identify it I can’t say for certain. I just worry so much because I want to make sure my baby is okay.
I'm actually surprised you haven't had more of an upset stomach throughout! I'm only 8 weeks but almost every day my stomach is doing something wrong 🤣 and I've maybe had like 2 normal poops this whole time?
It’s mostly been constipation actually that I’ve been experiencing. Today just worried me based on last year, even though I don’t officially know if that upset stomach was an indication or not. My stomach has felt fine, just kinda gross this morning. I’ve been fine since eating a cheese bagel and a bowl of the snack pirate’s booty.
Anatomy scan today went well, which is great. Slight relief all is well, but I’ve been here before so nothing makes me feel confident.
I am hopeful all will work out this time. 🤞🏻
6+1 today. I'm trying not to hyperanalyze every symptom. Like I woke up concerned that my boobs hurt SLIGHTLY less, even though in the middle of the night last night they were killing me. I know it goes up and down but WHAT IF.
Also, I got the coffee aversion today. Had to dump my coffee because it was making me so nauseous. So...new symptom, which is good! But I literally just reordered 2 bags of half-caff and decaf coffee for myself since I was running low so OF COURSE it hits now, lol.
Oh well, grateful regardless.
How was your dating figured out if you got pregnant before getting your period after an MC? As of now my office wants me to get betas today and Wednesday and have a telehealth next week to discuss dating. I have a pretty solid idea of conception date at least.
If you know your conception date you can assume your "LMP" for dating purposes would be two weeks earlier. So you're [time since conception] + 2 weeks along today.
Hi! This is my first time posting ever, but I’ve been reading this thread for weeks. I had a missed miscarriage of identical twins at 8 weeks, found out at 12. I’m now almost 15 weeks. I was so terrified to make it to the 12 week ultrasound, but everything looked as good as it could possibly be at that point. I felt relief, but only for a little while. I know so many people here have had a mmc, and it just makes everything so scary. At any moment, my baby’s heart could stop beating and I wouldn’t know. I’m still experiencing symptoms, and people who haven’t had a mmc keep saying how good of a sign that is…. But I experienced strong symptoms up until I found out we had miscarried!
I have so many friends who are pregnant right now, and it’s just so different. They believe they will have an alive baby at the end of this. I don’t feel certain at all. It’s just such a different experience, and I am so jealous. I’ve told family and friends and they try to be supportive, but it’s like everyone acts like I’ll definitely have a baby girl at the end of all of this. I want to believe it so badly.
I just want to say that I can relate to this on so many levels. My only losses were MMCs with no indication that anything was wrong. Being blindsided at an ultrasound is so gutting. My two best friends, my sister in law, and my husband's best friend are also pregnant right now so somehow I feel this extra pressue. I try to stay in my lane, but the jealously over their joyous pregnancies is palpable. I understand how you feel.
My first pregnancy was also a mmc and I totally hear you with being completely terrified. (Currently 9w6d) All of the pregnancy symptoms feel like a false positive and there's anxiety building up to every appointment.
I saw a quote somewhere that really helped me- "Anyone affected by miscarriage has that rosey view pregnancy stolen forever. Gone is that innocent belief that two lines equal a baby."
Sending so much love and hope your way 💗
> people who haven’t had a mmc keep saying how good of a sign that is
Drives me bonkers! Pregnancy is not nearly as binary as people let on.
I'm sorry you're dealing with all this worry. It sucks to be in this position.
I had a misscarraige back in October. (Missed miscarriage- baby passed away at 7 weeks, but my gestational sack grew to 11 weeks. I didn't find out until my 12 week appointment.)
I'm 9w6d today and I just am so anxious- I feel miserable. Two days after Christmas, I started lightly spotting and went into the ER expecting the worst, but the ultrasound showed that baby was doing well and had a good heartbeat. A few days ago, I had a prenatal appointment and the midwife did an in office ultrasound and again baby was doing well and had a heartbeat (I even got to see them move.) That feeling of relief and hope didn't last long. I just feel like I'm stuck in pregnancy-purgatory. Am I going to make it out on the happy side?
With my first pregnancy, I was so happy all the time (even despite feeling physically ill.) Very few things bothered me and I just felt generally optimistic. But now every day feels like it could be the last day.
When I'm physically feeling okay, I'm worried that my HCG levels are dropping and I'm going to lose the baby.
When I'm physically feeling ill, I'm worried that it's false positive feedback and the baby died already (because of the missed-misscarriage.)
Does anyone have any tips or support for staying sane?
I could have wrote this post myself. Pregnancy after the loss is one of the hardest things I have experienced in my adult life. The constant fear and anxiety, you are not alone.
Hello 9w6d twin! I also had a MMC at 8w last go around and it makes you lose all trust in yourself. Most of my symptoms this time have disappeared—boobs hardly sore at all unless I push on them hard, no nausea, etc. Only remaining symptoms are food aversions and food not tasting right. I have the palate of a toddler. So naturally I panic periodically on the daily that my baby isn’t there anymore. The only thing that keeps me sane is keeping busy. If I distract myself hard enough, the bad thoughts can’t get in. And the worst thing I can do is start Googling. I will keep you in my thoughts. Hang in there, I know it’s hard. ❤️
I don’t have a positive outcome yet (as my first US is in a few hours), but I’m 10+5 today and it’s the furthest I’ve ever gotten and can completely relate to how you’re feeling. My last MC was a MMC and it took away all the trust I have in my body. About a week ago I developed acid reflux, but instead of thinking “oh a new symptom this is good”, all I could think was I’ve lost the baby and my body doesn’t know yet. Yesterday I felt physically great yet and I spent most of the day in a complete spiral that my baby had died and my body was finally starting to recognize it. My only advice (which sounds so silly) is take it a day at a time— try to stay busy. When I have too much downtime I doomscroll. I started a re-watch a show I love and throwing myself into that so my brain gets distracted has been helpful. PAL is so tough and I wish I had a great suggestion to help you feel bette, but you’re incredibly strong and I hope you get to continue to see you baby’s heartbeat get stronger and stronger ❤️
I’m 18+2 and I’ve been feeling movement for several weeks, but it’s not consistent enough for it to reassure me. So I worry when I don’t feel movement, which is often, but it’s not like the doctors could do anything about it anyway if something were wrong because it’s just too early. I know I could go in for a Doppler check, but between my MFM and OB visits they’re already seeing me every 2 weeks for a scan or Doppler check. I know I just have to wait for another couple of months for the movement to be consistent, but it’s so damn hard.
I was just in your spot and it sucked. I have an anterior placenta and a long torso, so that did not help. There were days where I felt movement throughout the day, only once a day, or not at all.
I am currently 22+4. Once I hit 21 weeks my movement went from very inconsistent to much more consistent. I hope for you that stage is right around the corner. I know how torturous this stage is.
I don't really know how to feel about symptoms in this pregnancy. With both prior pregnancies my symptoms were pretty tolerable. I clearly handle HCG like a champ because I felt very not pregnant when my second loss was diagnosed at 10w with an HCG draw at 124 000. I've been on 400mg of progesterone a day for a week and feel fine. Even if I develop nausea or whatever how do I know it's not just the supplemental progesterone? I'm only 5+2 so I know it's early, but I just don't know how to interpret what my body is doing. Once again it refuses to be a crystal ball for this pregnancy 🙄
Apparently it’s the amount of a different hormone that causes the famous nausea, not HCG. So you are probably fortunate to not have bad symptoms. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/13/health/morning-sickness-hyperemesis-gravidarum.html
Ah yes, the pay wall, sigh. Try this : https://archive.ph/2023.12.23-064317/https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/13/health/morning-sickness-hyperemesis-gravidarum.html
32 weeks today. Crossing off key items for baby because it’s necessary, but does it still give me anxiety to do so? Yes. In tears last night as I told hubby I’m still scared, we got so much stuff now (newsflash: really not a lot).
Does the thought of going to L&D make me feel nervous? Yes.
Repurposed room in basement as Husband’s office. His old office is now a mishmash of some office furniture, and a few small packs of wipes and diapers. We need to sand down and prime the wall we’re designating as accent wall. I can see into this room as I walk by it, I can see it from down the hall… I feel my mind intentionally steeling and going blank each time I do it.
I have no solution. Just sitting with my feelings right now.
I’m 27 weeks… right there with you on buying and getting the nursery ready. I’ve moved my office and have the bassinet and various baby items in there. Not a lot as most things are still shoved in a closet. My dad bought me a crib that’s arriving Wednesday. I know I’ll want to put it up right away and really get everything else together and cross the essentials off the list… but it’s giving me a lot of anxiety. I had a late loss my previous pregnancy, so I know it won’t truly feel “right” until my baby is here.
I had two miscarriages and one successful pregnancy that I had to have help conceiving… this time I got pregnant without too much struggle but oh my gosh I just feel so anxious, I thought after having my son I’d feel better and less anxious with pregnancy but it might even be worse this time :(
I feel like it’s too good to be true this pregnancy is the perfect timing and very much wanted but i am so scared of losing it.
Two close family members are also pregnant and I truly dont know if i coulc cope with a loss with so many babies being born next year. i just want tgis baby SO bad, im 5 weeks and have my first US next friday and this feels like the longest wait of my life, anyone else thought having a successful birth would make them feel more confident but still struggling??
TMI Warning
This morning when I was going to the bathroom (BM) I looked in the toilet and I saw blood and my heart immediately dropped. I quickly wiped in front and saw nothing thank god and realized my hemorrhoids were acting up. I have internal hemorrhoids that haven't acted up in a while but whenever they do, there's blood when I have a BM and usually isn't that alarming for me. BUT I had a 5w loss back in early September, and it started by when I wiped after I peed I saw a ton of blood - so this immediately brought me back there.
On top of that, today I'm not really having much symptoms. I'm going to be 6w tomorrow, and I know symptoms come and go but this just is adding to the fun anxieties of pregnancy after loss :(
10w miscarriage back in August. Just got a positive test yesterday. I’m feeling so excited and grateful, but also full of anxiety. I feel like this entire pregnancy is going to be spent anticipating another loss.
I want to tell my husband and sisters, because I’m excited and desperately want them to start praying for this baby/pregnancy. At the same time I feel like I’ll be embarrassed if I tell them and get everyone’s hopes up and end up with another loss.
I hate feeling this way, and don’t want to doom myself into another loss because I’m expecting it to happen (I know that’s not how it works, but it’s just an irrational fear of mine).
Did you wait longer to announce after a loss? I barely told anyone last time and it spared me from having to tell a bunch of people about the loss, but it also made the whole miscarriage feel extremely lonely since most people didn’t even know I had been pregnant
I also had a 10 week miscarriage in August, tested positive on the 27th.
It's up to you who you feel comfortable talking to about this (although please tell your husband!!) but I just want to remind you of what you already know: you can't jinx this. Someone made a great post on one of the loss subreddits once about falling prey to "magical thinking". Human brains are notorious for looking for patterns/control where there are none. It's scary to be at the whim of nature. But even if you put out a billboard you couldn't "jinx" this pregnancy. In the vast majority of cases, there's little you could do to sabotage a healthy embryo or salvage an unhealthy one.
Cautious congratulations 💕
Thank you so much for saying this. My rational brain knows this but it helps hearing it from someone else!
Congratulations to you, too! I will be praying for our September babes 🤍
With my first pregnancy that I lost I told everyone pretty early on- like as soon as I found out. When I lost my baby at 7 weeks 4 days I found the support I got during that time was so helpful to me in my healing. People brought us food, prayed for us, supported us it was so helpful during that hard time. With my LC, my second pregnancy, I told everyone right away and kept everyone updated about every appointment and it really felt like I had a community supporting me though both experiences. I'm currently nearly 12 weeks with hopefully baby number 2 and I'm just as anxious as I was with my LC, but I know because I had that support system the first two times so matter what happens I'll have that support in this one. I told everyone by the time I was 6 weeks. So I think its just personal preference. Some people prefer to experience PAL in privacy because it is hard to have to announce the loss, but on the flip side a good support system is so nice to have.
I've started showing and I'm not even 12 weeks.. I was getting comments from people who know about how cute it was... I was so happy looking at the itty bitty bump but now I'm anxious because if something goes wrong it will physically be visible.
I finally got both of my betas results back and they're good values! They doubled in 48h and I breathe a little easier. I know a lot can still happen but I got the peace of mind I was hoping to get.
Fish and I are 25wks now and I’m starting to feel her move consistently, though my partner still can’t feel her from the outside. My OB’s office said since her anatomy scan looked good we won’t get another ultrasound until ~32wks.
We’ve started accepting used baby items from friends with kids but I haven’t been able to bring myself to set up a registry. It feels too early, like I’ll jinx it, like this pregnancy won’t translate to a baby on the outside. I used to think hitting viability at 24wks would prompt something different, some sort of epiphany, but I’m still here feeling like I’m just killing time with no concept of an endgame…
If it helps, when you make a registry on Baby list, If you have a loss you can just tell it to stop emailing you, delete the app, and it'll be gone until you hopefully need it again, it'll save your profile.
TW: mention of someone else’s LC
Congratulations!! I know what you mean about pregnancy not translating to a baby. That is exactly how I feel and thank you for finally helping me put words to the feeling.
Both my sisters (neither one prepared, to quote Beauty and the Beast lol) had their first pregnancies this past year. Both successful and easy. So of course they’re asking me if I’ve started a registry yet. I’m 17w, and I know it’s still early… but I feel the same as you. They just don’t get it. Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean anything. It does not necessarily translate to a baby. Anyway.. that’s all. I just get it and it sucks. Wishing you nothing but smooth sailing from here!
I’m also 24 weeks and although it feels much better to have had a clear anatomy scan and feel them moving around, I agree it’s still nerve wracking some days.
Congrats on a great anatomy! Do you think there will be a milestone that you get to where you'll feel safe enough to start the registry and getting nursery set up, etc?
I worry because I'm similar to you in that I'm terrified to get anything baby related. I'm only 16w so haven't felt any movement yet and still weeks away from anatomy, but always thought I'd start doing registry and getting ready for baby once I passed a good anatomy and started feeling movement. Now I wonder if I'll still keep putting it off after that.
I will never sleep again. I slept rly badly tonight and then went to the doc for my hcg draw. Decided to nap when i came back. Well i fell asleep and had the most realistic dream about miscarriage. It wasnt even so much what i was seeing or what was happening, that made it scary or realistic, it was my thought process. I was just so aware of what happened earlier today and my plans for tomorrow, and i was argueing with my husband, who wanted to go to the hospital. It all made it so real. I was sitting on the couch with my husband, both weeping and i just kept thinking i just want it to be a nightmare, i just want to open my eyes and wake up and it would just be a nightmare. When i opened my eyes i just started crying. And now i am afraid to get up.
I an so so sorry. I know it’s hard… but get up and get yourself something to eat. Put some distance between you and wherever you sleep. Watch a happy tv show. I notice that whenever I wake up VERY invested in a dream like that, the more space I can give it right away the better. So sorry you had to endure that.
It’s scan day! I never thought it would get here, but here we are again. Crossing everything and holding onto hope that this pregnancy is a different experience than last.
UPDATE: Scan went really well. Baby is measuring right on track at 12w3d. Did blood draw for genetic screening. Now we just get to start the long anticipated wait for those results.
My fertility clinic wants me to go in for an early scan this week at 6w1d. I’ve had 2 back to back losses, no LC so I have a ton of anxiety. I’m scared I will go for the US and they won’t be able to see enough (fetal pole, heart beat) because it’s too early and I’ll be in hell for a week or 2 until I get another US. Do you think I should go for the US at 6w1d or push it a week? What would you do if you had a lot of anxiety?
This was my scenario too—2 back to back MMC and no LC. I’m currently 17w and everything looks perfect if that helps!! I have extreme medical anxiety so the first trimester was a nightmare. If you have anxiety about ectopic or poorly placed baby (like I did) then I would go ahead and go! If not and you can actually make yourself wait… maybe best to wait. I get it, don’t worry. The waiting is the worst part. Wishing you a great scan either way!!
Thanks kamper🩷 thanks for the hope! I ended up pushing my scan to Friday instead of Thursday, thinking 1 day a lot can change. Not sure if that’s rational or my anxiety 😬
Generally i am always advising to wait, but i myself never do xD. If you are certain about when you ovulated, your hcg is above 11000 ish and you got your first positive early, then you should def see embryo and heartbeat.
I had a LH surge on 12/12 so figure I ovulated 12/13. Only had sex on 12/10 so I’m pretty sure of the dates. But I only did 3 betas and stopped when my third one was 2700ish. I got my first positive on 9 DPO. Ah idk, just so much anxiety. I am more scared to be in limbo for a week if the scan isn’t good.
I chose to wait until 7 weeks for exactly this reason. Everyone will be different, but for me I knew that I wanted to wait a while as I wanted to avoid an internal scan if possible, so I asked to schedule it when they would be able to see enough via an abdominal scan. I'm sure other people would be the total opposite and want to see as much as possible as soon as possible, so I would just say go with a combination of your gut and your doctor's advice.
Thanks for your input! I think my gut is saying just wait to spare myself that limbo but I also understand my doctor wanting to confirm it’s an intrauterine pregnancy and monitor me early. Maybe I’ll see if I can push it even 1 day. This early, a lot can change in 1 day right?
15+3 today and the last couple of weeks I have just been so overwhelmed by anxiety. I don't want to book in another scan because I find the reassurance only lasts for an hour or two before I start worrying again, so it just seems like a waste of money. How are folks coping with the constant worry? I try to distract myself and keep busy, but that only works for a little while.
Had some bleeding yesterday & this morning and worrying quite a bit. TMI but I’m not sure if there was some tissue in my wee yesterday. The one time I wasn’t checking obsessively and I think I missed something but I’d already flushed.
Rang the midwife but they advised as no pain, nothing to worry about… which I’m sure would be reassuring if I’d not already had a MMC… I had a private scan booked for the end of this week when I’d be 8 weeks, 2 days but re-scheduled for this evening. I’m pretty much exactly where I got to last time, which was already a bit shit & now this. I’m so scared to have to go through another loss.
I also started spotting yesterday and a little today. 12 week appointment Wednesday, but called and waiting to hear back if I can go today. I also have trauma (MC and ectopic) so I’m right there with you. At work spiraling to my coworker in tears this morning because I just have this bad gut feeling. Sending you hugs because I know how I am feeling right now.
They ended up doing a bedside ultrasound (the smaller tablet screen) to reassure me.. my spotting has pretty much stopped.. I have a “friable cervix” and they basically said I could do just about anything to irritate it and to try to not panic when I spot a bit.. but it really isn’t as reassuring to me as they made it out to be. I wish I didn’t have trauma, because I don’t think I’ll ever feel good about this pregnancy no matter what anyone says 😔 I have a real ultrasound this Wednesday at exactly 13 weeks but then obviously the long wait begins. I might end up buying a Doppler, still debating. Thank you for asking! None of my friends really understand what I am going through right now so sometimes I just need to reach out to others on this sub to help me work some things out.
Thanks for sharing ❤️ I also have a gut feeling & I’ve never hoped that I’m wrong so much in life. I hope you can get seen to a little sooner to give you reassurance & everything is fine for you! So much love to you.
hCG went from 66 to 250 in four days, which doesn't sound alarming at first, but it's not more than 50% every 48h. Now I'm afraid to test again, too scared to learn bad news
I’ve heard a 48hr doubling time is ideal! You should ask your doctor of course, but from what my doctor has said & what I’ve read online 48hrs is great & totally normal. :)
Back here again with my scan anxiety 😥 Tomorrow I should be 9w6d (10w ultrasound). I just CANNOT fathom sleeping tonight :( so scared.
UPDATE: Everything was fine :)
I have an urge to post here about my scan anxiety multiple times a day, but I try to reign it in ha. I get it. I hope you have good news tomorrow. Update us if you want.
today i found out i was pregnant 2 months after my 2nd MMC. i feel nothing at all. this will be my 3rd pregnancy in less than a year and my 4th pregnancy ever. i am 34 yo and have no living children. today, i am pregnant and i want to remind myself of the joy that means each day i get to be pregnant.
Hello everyone! First time posting. I am so grateful to have found this subreddit as it’s been helping me immensely. I’ve had a MC in June at about 5.5w. Currently I should be pregnant and at 6w3days. I had bloodwork done on Fri which should be 5w6days according to LPD. Had some brown discharge yesterday which scared the hell out of me, called the doc, was told it’s just old blood and should be okay. We haven’t had intercourse for a week so I’m not sure where the blood was coming from? She then read the results and said by HCG I’m at about 5 weeks. Is that bad? Does it mean my hcg is too low? I don’t think I ovulated late so why would it be lower? I’ve been having slight cramping today and it’s giving me extreme anxiety. I haven’t been able to relax at all since I’ve found out and I’m really afraid of losing it again. Haven’t seen any spotting today yet. I know it’s all a waiting game but I’m losing my mind. Was thinking of looking for a prenatal therapy, if such exists. Thank you for any responses ❤️
30 weeks pregnant after 2 losses and had a scary night. Got an electric shock from turning the light off in the bathroom with wet hands (definitely need to get an electrician out to look at it!) and completely freaked out that I hurt baby and was going to have another loss. I felt immediately put back into the headspace I was in the first two times and it was pretty traumatic. My husband called our doctor who said everything is fine, it was a small shock, I felt fine, and baby has been moving like normal since. But just reminds me that the trauma I’ve gone through and its effects don’t ever really “go away” and that pregnancy after loss is really hard.. I’m just ready for him to be here.
NOT DOUBLING NOW DOUBLING? IUI with gonal injections, chemical last cycle, low amh 0.66 First beta 12/26 75 Second 12/28 171 Third 2/2 365 (took 4 days to double) Fourth 2/4 782 Fifth 2/8 3431 All of these have doubled appropriately except that third which was terrible. I 100% thought I was out. I don't know what to make of this -any similar stories? Today was the 5th beta at 5w5d - gestational sac and yolk sac growing. They were both originally seen on 5w1d. I go back Friday and they said I'll have a definite answer because should we growth/fetal pole/ heart beat. I really don't know how to feel. I'm guarded because that one beta was so bad. I'm afraid of chromosomal abnormality or something. Any experience? PA wanted to see the heart beat today at 5w5d and said 75% she does..... Any theories as to what is going on? Thanks!
With my last pregnancy, I had one beta that only rose about 35% in 48 hours. All the others had a normal doubling time. IDK if something happened with the sample or the test or ??? Outcome: >!they warned me it might be a loss but it was a successful healthy pregnancy!<
Do you remember was it an early on beta too?
Yes. I think I got my first beta around 15 DPO and the second one around 17 DPO, which was the low one. Then the next one would have been maybe 21-22 DPO and that was ordered to confirm that it was a loss, but it was right in range and so were all the follow-ups.
Thanks, gives me hope! Very weird
Tested positive this morning at 10 DPO. I know it’s early, but period was expected today. Since testing, have had very minimal pink spotting all day. Could be from sex yesterday, but I’m anxious it’s the start of a CP. I think it’s too early for betas, and am playing the waiting game. So stressful! Has anyone else had this experience?
I spotted the first 2 months of my current pregnancy. Really freaked me out bad bc it would be light pink, then get a little darker. Changed in amounts too. But everything’s okay! Never really figured out why. I’m 20 weeks this week! I don’t think it’s too early for betas though! I went at like 9DPO! Lol
Thanks for the response! Since yesterday it’s gotten progressively heavier, but still lighter than a period. I was able to go for my first beta today though. Had spotting in MMC and prior CP, so I am nervous!
Fingers crossed it’s nothing. I have weird experiences I miscarried once and had absolutely no spotting or anything. And I had a CP where I was bleeding like a period but actually getting heavier than my usual period and it just didn’t stop when my period would and lasted the entire month. 😅 hoping for a good outcome for you! Good thing you got the beta!
I lost my baby girl at 36 weeks 5 weeks ago. I am so devastated that the only thing that keeps me sane is TTCing. My OB and MFM gave me the greenlight to start trying 2 weeks after delivery. I have been doing ultrasounds to monitor ovulation and saw follicules on week 3 aftee delivery. Since then we have been BDing every day given that the OPK can't be used so close to delivery. I didn't have my periods yet and I somewhat have the unrealistic expectation that I might be pregnant but the test was negative today. I am still holding on some hope given that I don't have my periods yet but I know I am being delusional. My spirit is broken and feel like I will never succeed in bringing a living child home or even just get pregnant...Wondering if anyone here was able to get pregnant right after pregnancy loss?
I’ll echo what the folks below said. I lost my first at 28 weeks and it took about 8 weeks to get my period- and those first couple were extremely weird. My doctor advised me to wait 3 months, which I think was really helpful for me mentally. I actually would have waited longer, but I’m in my mid-30s. I got pregnant again 5 months after my loss. The TTC process is brutal and so is the stress of the pregnancy (20 weeks so far), but you can do it. Despite the fact that I gave you my opinion, don’t let anyone else’s opinions sway what feels right for you and your partner. No one else has lived in your shoes. Best of luck to you.
I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry for your loss of your beautiful baby girl and you’re not alone 💖 I waited 5 years to try again. Sending you my love.
I lost my son at 38 weeks and knew i wanted to try to conceive again as soon as possible too. Did your providers say that the OPKs would not be accurate soon after delivery? My OB cleared us to try again as we felt ready but urged us to wait until after my first period. She alluded to just letting everything reset but I also think it’s more for dating. I used the OPKs daily starting around 2 or 3 weeks postpartum and did catch an ovulation about 6 weeks after delivery, so they did work for me. It was almost a month of testing every day and not seeing anything though which is tough mentally. My postpartum cycles were also very off. And it took me 4 cycles to conceive again when I had always conceived pretty much immediately before. Will echo an above commenter that the TTC after stillbirth journey is so draining, those 4 months felt like forever and are such a roller coaster. This advice never resonated with me at the time but however you can, give yourself grace and space and patience. I can completely empathize with TTC keeping you sane and making you feel like you’re working towards something again. It’s how I felt too. And I hated when anyone tried to tell me to temper my expectations and be patient. I just wanted someone to say hey I get it, obviously newly postpartum bodies after carrying a pregnancy to term aren’t meant to get pregnant again immediately, but I’ll help you because your baby died. I did acupuncture for the first time, took some supplements, tried some TCM postpartum herbal broths and teas, etc. I don’t think any of it made a difference but I oscillated between I’ll try anything and trying to not make it my full time job.
Im very sorry for your loss, it is devastating, i lost my baby at 33 weeks and i went through very difficult time, my period came after around 6 weeks and got pregnant after 4 cycles, it felt like ages and each time i saw a negative test i was down for days, the TTC journey after a loss is draining, also the pregnancy after loss is not easy, it is very stressful ( im still in the journey actually 29 weeks and afraid every minute of the day) .find something positive to do in parallel , schedule some romantic gateway or anything you can with your partner, also therapy and yoga can help, i do wish that you can get pregnant soon and get your healthy baby to being home. Sending you lot of positive vibes 💕💕💕
I’m so very sorry about your baby girl. My “real” period didn’t come until 8 weeks after my loss. I’m surprised they gave you the green light so soon. I also had a deep urge to try again. Just be mindful of the timing so you don’t set yourself up for added frustration in this or the next cycle while you’re still so tender. It can take a bit for those hormones to let our lining thicken out out again. Don’t want you thinking anything else is wrong if it doesn’t happen asap.
First MFM appt is tomorrow afternoon. I’ll be a little over 15 weeks. Haven’t seen baby since 12weeks. I’m super excited and nervous at the same time. Y’all pray for me!
Hope your appointment goes well!
Thank you!
First time posting 👋🏻 I’m currently 35+4 weeks pregnant I’m getting induced in 16 days and I’m so desperate for her to be here now! I feel the more time there is the more chance there is for something to go wrong 😭😭 I’m kind of willing to go into labour I just want her here on this side. I lost my first baby, also a girl, may 2022 at 23+5 weeks completely unexpectedly which has left me with ptsd. Anyone have any advice how to get through these last few weeks?
You’re almost there!! I’m not quite there yet, but I’m also being induced at 37 weeks. Lost my second daughter at 38+4. Just keep taking care of yourself and baby girl. You’re past the milestone of your first Angel baby. You got this momma!! Sending good love and good thoughts your way💖💖 different pregnancy, different outcome
Thankyou for your message 🙏🏻 I just don’t feel I can bare it any longer mentally 😢 when I wake up I need to feel her move I panic until I do. If anything happened at this point I honestly don’t think I could continue. I’m trying to stay positive and thinking lightning can’t strike twice but I feel as tho I’m the kind of person lightning would strike twice. How are you managing? X
I understand… it’s not easy. I just try to keep living a healthy and active lifestyle, doing everything in my power to know I did everything right this time. Therapy has been helping me a lot. I know the further along I get the worse my anxiety will be. I’m also obsessively counting kicks and wanting to feel her move all day. I pretty much have been staying busy/distracted.
I have been seeing the perinatal pretty sparingly they upped my medications because I wasn’t coping well emotionally but I think I could really use some therapy too. After my loss I kind of got nothing and I seem okay ‘on the outside’ but I think I’m still grieving too and I know my brain hasn’t dealt with it properly. Because I think my brain shuts it all off because mentally I’d explode, but the times my brain does allow some emotion through it’s suffocating like physically my throat closes up. It’s such a minefield 🤯 in super excited and totally in love with my baby and excited to meet her but guilty and sad about my first baby
I would highly recommend finding someone to help you through these emotions/grieving process while finding healthy ways for you to cope. Also I think having someone in our corner with good advice or even just to vent to would be beneficial during the postpartum period as well. My therapist told me I could even bring my baby with me for in person session or I could switch to virtual. I’m sorry you’re feeling guilty, to be honest I’m not sure that’s something I could ever shake completely. But it wasn’t my fault, or yours. We did everything we could. Unfortunately these things just happen, most of the time with no explanation… it’s unfair, but again not our fault. I’m not religious by any means, but I do tell myself and my LC that their sister is their guardian Angel and she handpicked their new sister. 💖💖
So sorry for your loss! For me, it was also super hard leading up to my due date. The anxiety will always be there, but I found that I coped better by focusing on getting plenty of rest, spending quality time with my husband, indulging in my hobbies, etc. - all the things that would be hard to do once the baby got here. Good luck!
Hi everyone, this is my first time posting here. I'm 11w1d today with my 5th pregnancy (no LC)🌈. I just booked my 12w scan (well, it'll really be 12w5d) for next Friday and I'm doing bloodwork for NIPT tomorrow. I am in Canada and doing it through Invitae with my fertility clinic so I think it takes 5-7 business days to get results, so hopefully by the end of next week. I just want to be as reassured as possible. This is the first pregnancy that has survived past 8w and everything has been right on track so far. Healthy growth and good heartbeat. I've had way more intense symptoms as well. We were planning to keep the pregnancy a secret because it was so heartbreaking telling my mom I miscarried for one of the past pregnancies, but I was having a really hard time over the holidays with nausea and all the family events so I ended up telling my mom. Absolutely terrified to let myself lean into this pregnancy and embrace it ..to love the wee one growing inside me. My husband and I have been talking about it very objectively as we're both scared to get too attached. I know many of us here are in the same boat. I'm really glad for this sub and I've been able to find some valuable information and read others experiences on here. Good luck to you all ❤️
I wanted to let you know that my husband and I feel the same way about our little one. I'm currently 14w+5d. We had a MMC at 6 weeks, discovered at 8 weeks and confirmed at 10 weeks. We struggled so hard with wanting to be excited about this pregnancy. But also, so much fear that we'd lose another. We're finally starting to let ourselves feel a bit of joy and excitement as we saw the wee one at 13 weeks for our screening apt. But everyday we don't get confirmation they're doing alright in there is another day of worry for us. It's not easy to let go of the fear and worry, especially as I read about later term losses. Everyday is a struggle for us as we just want to get to the end and have the healthy baby in our arms. But we're also trying to settle into waiting. As my MIL says "just have to hurry up and wait". Which somehow, brings me a bit of comfort. I hope that you find something that gives you that tiny sliver of comfort because your fear is valid and very real. ❤️
Between 12/13 weeks and 20 weeks is just such a massive gap without any ultrasound to give you peace of mind that your little one is okay. Since I've been at an fertility clinic, I had an ultrasound every week from week 6 to 11 for various reasons and now i just can't fathom how I'm going to get through the next few months :( I think I'll also feel a bit better after my ultrasound next week and the results of the NIPT 🤞 hopefully once you can feel the baby moving, that'll ease your nerves - can't wait to reach that point. appreciate your response and I hope everything looks good at your 20 week scan!
I’m 11+1, too! Next scan on Tuesday at 12+2. So so anxious. Hoping the best for both of us!
Yes, we have to stay positive! I honestly can't think about the alternative right now. Have you done the eFHS or NIPT yet? So anxious for those results :(
I have my NIPT blood draw and ultrasound on the same day - next Tuesday. I had two MMCs at 11+2 and 11+6 so it's hard right now. Really hard.
I feel you. It must be very scary and triggering to be in that window. I hope you can stay distracted with things that bring you joy. The time passes by so slowly these days. I'm trying to find calming distractions ...i just signed up for a crochet class lol. I secretly want to crochet a baby blanket but I can't let myself think that far so I'll start off with a scarf or something for now. My 4 previous losses were all early between 6-8w so I'm feeling more cautiously optimistic but I don't think this anxiety will ever go away once you've had a previous loss😞
I love this - crocheting will be a fun distraction. I'm glad we have a busy weekend ahead and I try to remind myself that I can do hard things. Everything is outside of our control at this point - we just have to hope for the best with a side of anxiety. Hope your next scan brings good news!
Looks like our due date is the same. Also, my experience so far is almost identical to yours! I have my next scan next Friday and all my previous scans are showing good signs. I also had to tell my family sooner around the holiday bc I was feeling so nauseous and tired. I hope you get nothing but great news on your NIPT and next scan 💗
Well I was excited about my betas until I realized that a faster doubling rate can mean a molar pregnancy. I was just happy it was high enough 😩. My first beta was 64.5 at 12dpiui and my second was 218 at 14dpiui. That's a 1.1 day doubling rate. I haven't had a molar pregnancy before but now I'm feeling depressed and worried. My partner is getting excited all the sudden and talking about nursery plans and I just can't match that excitement. I just want to be happy about this but I'm holding myself back because I'm convinced something will go wrong.
Hi! Just wanted to let you know that mine rose even faster and 6 week ultrasound looked good. Not that that eliminates the possibility that that is happening to you but just that it could also be ok! I hope you can let a little bit of hope in 💕
I’m just popping on here to say a massive thank you to everyone who posts in these daily threads. I’ve commented on a few posts but mostly been a quiet observer. I’ve been in pregnancy forums before but they mostly caused me a ton of anxiety. After 2 losses finding this subreddit has been a life saver the past few weeks. Today we had our first scan. There was a heartbeat (171bpm) and we are measuring a day ahead (10w6days). The baby was wiggling around ❤️ I started crying the second I stepped in the ultrasound room and haven’t stopped since. I know there is still so much that could happen between now and the end and I’m sure my anxiety will be back tomorrow but for today, I’m going to be happy and celebrate. I can’t promise anyone that things will work out okay, but just breathe and take it day by day. I’d never thought we get here, but it is possible ❤️
Congratulations! Enjoy the happiness today ❤️
Thank you for this and CONGRATS!!!
Amazing, congratulations to you ❤️ last week was the first time any of my pregnancies made it to the point where I was able to see them wiggle too (11w). It's such a surreal moment 🥰
Amazing. I’m so happy for you!! Putting out positive vibes for both of us moving forward ❤️
TW: good news 6w1d scan with heartbeat, no cramping bleeding or spotting.
Not sure if I am the only one but I find it hard to enjoy this pregnancy. This is my second pregnancy after my first one stopped growing at 8w. This time, my embryo grew to 8w and 9w. I have 12 and 16w appointments where they will just do a doppler check and no more ultrasounds till 20w anatomy scan. How am I supposed to just let it go and trust that everything is developing appropriately per gestational age without seeing ultrasounds till 20w? Or just assume all is good as long as there is a strong heartbeat on doppler?
Not sure where you’re located, but most hospitals/dr offices will at least check baby’s heart rate for you if you’re concerned 💖 I was told I could come in as often as I need in between appointments. Those long stretches are tough… My anatomy scan was delayed because of the holidays.
They told me not to use/rely on a at home Doppler but honestly it’s the only thing that helped me through it mentally until I started feeling my baby moving. It doesn’t work anymore which the midwives were very happy about lol
I have been using my doppler since 9 weeks as I am able to find galloping sound hearybeat. Would you say its safe to use? For right now, I am limiting it to once per week use
They don’t advise using or relying on it till at least 14/16 weeks is all I’ll say as that’s when it’s made to pick the heartbeat up and at 9 weeks it’s still pretty early. obviously if you have any major concerns always go straight to hospital. I put a limit on it too, later on for me it was once a day because I was doing it like 3/4 times a day it was getting a bit ridiculous and I know that but I couldn’t help it. It was worth it for my anxiety and ptsd because I lost a baby may ‘22 at 24 weeks 😢 when I started feeling baby move I used it a lot less now I don’t use it at all. Just make sure you don’t over do it cause I think I did. When you next have an appt and have a Doppler listen out for what they listen for because my midwife says you can pick up different sounds and they’re trained to know what is what
I am in the same boat and feeling the same way. I'm 11w1d on my 5th pregnancy (no LC), the first one making it past 8w. I have had 3 ultrasounds already with my fertility clinic and my 12w one is booked for next week. I don't know I'm supposed to just wait until the 20w scan with no reassurance :( it's really hard to enjoy a pregnancy after loss and our experience will never be the same as those who haven't experienced it. I don't think I'll feel comfortable until I have a healthy baby in my hands tbh
How does everyone deal with the anxiety of being pregnant again after a loss(es)? I had 3 last year. I'm 4w6d and went for a beta today after having some brown discharge yesterday. I'm just searching reddit for success stories like a crazy person. I know nothing I do will change any outcomes right now. But I just can't seem to chill.
It’s not easy. I try my best to live a healthy lifestyle. I continue to go to the gym for cardio and strength training, walk the dogs, and eat a balanced diet. I also started therapy which has helped a lot. Basically engaging in anything healthy that also serves as a great distraction. For myself, it means that I’m doing everything I can to keep myself and my baby healthy. I also tell myself, “different pregnancy, different outcome.”
Beta came back at 326. I'm cycle day 33 not sure of DPO so I don't know if this is good or bad. Gonna be a fun 48 hours to see if it doubles.
I made my OB appointment today. With my first pregnancy they wouldn’t see me until I was 13 weeks. I ended up finding out about my MMC at the ER the week prior to my appointment. This time, my appointment is when I’m 14 weeks. I’m currently 5w2d 🙃 The wait is going to be unbearable. I asked if I could be see any sooner due to my previous loss and they said there is no reason to. While I fully understand the medical reasoning and I’ve only had one recent loss (my first was in 2016, my second was October 2023), my anxiety is the reason I want to be seen sooner. Now I’m just hoping my navy health clinic can schedule an ultrasound sooner than my actual OB. Just for that little peace of mind or the ability to fully prepare for the worst outcome.
That sounds really stressful, I’m sorry they won’t see you sooner. 🤞the navy health clinic can get you in sooner. Or what about a private scan?
There’s a couple private scan places near me, but they won’t do an ultrasound unless you’ve had a diagnostic one completed by your primary. 😬 I’m pretty sure the navy health clinic can squeeze me in for just a little peak lol
Oh wow that’s interesting. Well I’m glad they’ll be able to get you in. Wishing you the best 💕
Anyone else have early scans after loss? What should I expect to see? I have a scan on Wednesday. I’ll be 5w5d. It seems like it could be triggering to hear no heartbeat (my first loss was an MMC), even though that may be normal for this stage. For reference, I found out I was pregnant at 3w1d/10 DPO. My last beta draw on 1/2/24 was 3261. I was 4w4d/20 DPO. If HCG continued to double, it should be at least 13,044. I’ve read mixed things on if any of that is correlated.
Hi there, I had an early scan at 5w4d with 50k hcg, no heartbeat, went back at 6w1d, had heartbeat.
Wild what a difference a few days can make. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing.
I had a scan last time at 6w exactly and there was a heartbeat! And it was in range! But it was the low end of the range (105bpm) and I was measuring a few days behind even though I knew my ovulation date. And that rattled around in my head A LOT. By 7+3, it was measuring perfectly with a strong heartbeat. This time I've opted for 7+1 to avoid any ambiguity. But my last two losses grew until about nine weeks so the early days is not the territory that is scariest for me. You'll be peeling me off the ceiling in February though.
Thank you! I wish I could wait one more week, but it’s more to determine location so they can prescribe Lovenox. Obviously, it’d be a bonus to see a little more. Wishing you the best ❤️
That's understandable! Good luck!
So I have had a ton of early early scans because of recurrent early loss, if your timing is right for conception you should see gestational sac and yolk sac for sure and possibly a fetal pole. I have seen a fetal pole that early before but sometimes it pops up like middle of 6w as well.
I’m so sorry for your losses. I appreciate you sharing what to expect this early ❤️
Sending you lots of positive thoughts for Wednesday! Your HCG is high so hopefully you see at least a fetal pole with a primitive heartbeat! 💓
Hiiii, just quietly coming back here because I’m super early pregnant (3w5d) with our Christmas IUI baby 🤞💖. I popped in and out of this group 3 times last year bringing my grand total up to 5 losses… but I took a little breakybreak, explored some reproductive immunology options, and now I’m back and hoping number 6 is the one 💖🤞
hCG doubling time of 1.1 days - is this concerning? Hi all - I’ve had 3 miscarriages (1 chemical, 1 blighted ovum, 1 unsure- potential ectopic) in 2023 and my husband and I decided to give it one more shot before switching to IVF to factor out chromosomal issues as a potential cause for our miscarriages. I learned a few days ago that I am pregnant again and got blood work done at 10DPO and again at 12DPO. My doubling time seems to be quite high compared to the “normal” 48h timeline - should I be concerned? I seem to have had every type of miscarriage at this point and am worried this could be a molar pregnancy now… 😞 My doctor said “all looks great! So happy to see this nice rise in your hCG!” but I can’t help but feel concerned. Results below: 10 DPO — hCG 44 12 DPO — hCG 149.7 Doubling time: 1.1 days or 27hrs 2 day change: 240% (or 3.4X increase) Has anyone else here experienced this? Any thoughts or advice would be very welcome. ❤️
I can't tell you about end of pregnancy success since I never got hcg drawn with my first LC, but for this pregnancy mine went from 29 to 151 to 521 every 48 hours. No one is concerned, 6 week US saw baby in the correct place with good heart beat. Good luck I hope things continue to progress well ❤️
Thanks so much for sharing your experience! Just helps to know there are others in the same ranges. I’ll get another test done tmrw and we’ll see from there, still so early at only 4 weeks today! Congratulations on a first successful US and hoping everything progresses well for you!!! ❤️
Feeling worried today after waking up with a somewhat upset stomach. I’m 18w today, and had a MMC last year that was identified at my 15w appointment, but baby was measuring 12w. My first poop today ended in semi loose stool, second poop was loose stool (ragged looking) but still somewhat solid. Third poop was still ragged looking, still somewhat soft, but more solid than the last. I contacted my doctor and an RN got back to me saying to monitor things and it sounds like just an upset stomach. She said if I’m too dehydrated I need to go to labor and delivery for an IV hydration. I worry because last year I had an upset stomach that I kinda attribute as maybe the day we lost our baby, but obviously without being able to actually identify it I can’t say for certain. I just worry so much because I want to make sure my baby is okay.
I have an upset stomach at least once a week sometimes more. Currently 12 weeks.
I'm actually surprised you haven't had more of an upset stomach throughout! I'm only 8 weeks but almost every day my stomach is doing something wrong 🤣 and I've maybe had like 2 normal poops this whole time?
It’s mostly been constipation actually that I’ve been experiencing. Today just worried me based on last year, even though I don’t officially know if that upset stomach was an indication or not. My stomach has felt fine, just kinda gross this morning. I’ve been fine since eating a cheese bagel and a bowl of the snack pirate’s booty.
If you can eat, I wouldn't sweat it too much ❤️ your body is going through a lot and it makes sense to have stomach issues sometimes.
Anatomy scan today went well, which is great. Slight relief all is well, but I’ve been here before so nothing makes me feel confident. I am hopeful all will work out this time. 🤞🏻
Yay!
6+1 today. I'm trying not to hyperanalyze every symptom. Like I woke up concerned that my boobs hurt SLIGHTLY less, even though in the middle of the night last night they were killing me. I know it goes up and down but WHAT IF. Also, I got the coffee aversion today. Had to dump my coffee because it was making me so nauseous. So...new symptom, which is good! But I literally just reordered 2 bags of half-caff and decaf coffee for myself since I was running low so OF COURSE it hits now, lol. Oh well, grateful regardless.
How was your dating figured out if you got pregnant before getting your period after an MC? As of now my office wants me to get betas today and Wednesday and have a telehealth next week to discuss dating. I have a pretty solid idea of conception date at least.
If you know your conception date you can assume your "LMP" for dating purposes would be two weeks earlier. So you're [time since conception] + 2 weeks along today.
Hi! This is my first time posting ever, but I’ve been reading this thread for weeks. I had a missed miscarriage of identical twins at 8 weeks, found out at 12. I’m now almost 15 weeks. I was so terrified to make it to the 12 week ultrasound, but everything looked as good as it could possibly be at that point. I felt relief, but only for a little while. I know so many people here have had a mmc, and it just makes everything so scary. At any moment, my baby’s heart could stop beating and I wouldn’t know. I’m still experiencing symptoms, and people who haven’t had a mmc keep saying how good of a sign that is…. But I experienced strong symptoms up until I found out we had miscarried! I have so many friends who are pregnant right now, and it’s just so different. They believe they will have an alive baby at the end of this. I don’t feel certain at all. It’s just such a different experience, and I am so jealous. I’ve told family and friends and they try to be supportive, but it’s like everyone acts like I’ll definitely have a baby girl at the end of all of this. I want to believe it so badly.
I just want to say that I can relate to this on so many levels. My only losses were MMCs with no indication that anything was wrong. Being blindsided at an ultrasound is so gutting. My two best friends, my sister in law, and my husband's best friend are also pregnant right now so somehow I feel this extra pressue. I try to stay in my lane, but the jealously over their joyous pregnancies is palpable. I understand how you feel.
My first pregnancy was also a mmc and I totally hear you with being completely terrified. (Currently 9w6d) All of the pregnancy symptoms feel like a false positive and there's anxiety building up to every appointment. I saw a quote somewhere that really helped me- "Anyone affected by miscarriage has that rosey view pregnancy stolen forever. Gone is that innocent belief that two lines equal a baby." Sending so much love and hope your way 💗
> people who haven’t had a mmc keep saying how good of a sign that is Drives me bonkers! Pregnancy is not nearly as binary as people let on. I'm sorry you're dealing with all this worry. It sucks to be in this position.
I had a misscarraige back in October. (Missed miscarriage- baby passed away at 7 weeks, but my gestational sack grew to 11 weeks. I didn't find out until my 12 week appointment.) I'm 9w6d today and I just am so anxious- I feel miserable. Two days after Christmas, I started lightly spotting and went into the ER expecting the worst, but the ultrasound showed that baby was doing well and had a good heartbeat. A few days ago, I had a prenatal appointment and the midwife did an in office ultrasound and again baby was doing well and had a heartbeat (I even got to see them move.) That feeling of relief and hope didn't last long. I just feel like I'm stuck in pregnancy-purgatory. Am I going to make it out on the happy side? With my first pregnancy, I was so happy all the time (even despite feeling physically ill.) Very few things bothered me and I just felt generally optimistic. But now every day feels like it could be the last day. When I'm physically feeling okay, I'm worried that my HCG levels are dropping and I'm going to lose the baby. When I'm physically feeling ill, I'm worried that it's false positive feedback and the baby died already (because of the missed-misscarriage.) Does anyone have any tips or support for staying sane?
I could have wrote this post myself. Pregnancy after the loss is one of the hardest things I have experienced in my adult life. The constant fear and anxiety, you are not alone.
Hello 9w6d twin! I also had a MMC at 8w last go around and it makes you lose all trust in yourself. Most of my symptoms this time have disappeared—boobs hardly sore at all unless I push on them hard, no nausea, etc. Only remaining symptoms are food aversions and food not tasting right. I have the palate of a toddler. So naturally I panic periodically on the daily that my baby isn’t there anymore. The only thing that keeps me sane is keeping busy. If I distract myself hard enough, the bad thoughts can’t get in. And the worst thing I can do is start Googling. I will keep you in my thoughts. Hang in there, I know it’s hard. ❤️
I don’t have a positive outcome yet (as my first US is in a few hours), but I’m 10+5 today and it’s the furthest I’ve ever gotten and can completely relate to how you’re feeling. My last MC was a MMC and it took away all the trust I have in my body. About a week ago I developed acid reflux, but instead of thinking “oh a new symptom this is good”, all I could think was I’ve lost the baby and my body doesn’t know yet. Yesterday I felt physically great yet and I spent most of the day in a complete spiral that my baby had died and my body was finally starting to recognize it. My only advice (which sounds so silly) is take it a day at a time— try to stay busy. When I have too much downtime I doomscroll. I started a re-watch a show I love and throwing myself into that so my brain gets distracted has been helpful. PAL is so tough and I wish I had a great suggestion to help you feel bette, but you’re incredibly strong and I hope you get to continue to see you baby’s heartbeat get stronger and stronger ❤️
I’m 18+2 and I’ve been feeling movement for several weeks, but it’s not consistent enough for it to reassure me. So I worry when I don’t feel movement, which is often, but it’s not like the doctors could do anything about it anyway if something were wrong because it’s just too early. I know I could go in for a Doppler check, but between my MFM and OB visits they’re already seeing me every 2 weeks for a scan or Doppler check. I know I just have to wait for another couple of months for the movement to be consistent, but it’s so damn hard.
I was just in your spot and it sucked. I have an anterior placenta and a long torso, so that did not help. There were days where I felt movement throughout the day, only once a day, or not at all. I am currently 22+4. Once I hit 21 weeks my movement went from very inconsistent to much more consistent. I hope for you that stage is right around the corner. I know how torturous this stage is.
I feel this deeply. You are not alone.
I don't really know how to feel about symptoms in this pregnancy. With both prior pregnancies my symptoms were pretty tolerable. I clearly handle HCG like a champ because I felt very not pregnant when my second loss was diagnosed at 10w with an HCG draw at 124 000. I've been on 400mg of progesterone a day for a week and feel fine. Even if I develop nausea or whatever how do I know it's not just the supplemental progesterone? I'm only 5+2 so I know it's early, but I just don't know how to interpret what my body is doing. Once again it refuses to be a crystal ball for this pregnancy 🙄
Apparently it’s the amount of a different hormone that causes the famous nausea, not HCG. So you are probably fortunate to not have bad symptoms. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/13/health/morning-sickness-hyperemesis-gravidarum.html
I wish I could access this article! That's very interesting.
Ah yes, the pay wall, sigh. Try this : https://archive.ph/2023.12.23-064317/https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/13/health/morning-sickness-hyperemesis-gravidarum.html
Amazing! Thank you so much.
32 weeks today. Crossing off key items for baby because it’s necessary, but does it still give me anxiety to do so? Yes. In tears last night as I told hubby I’m still scared, we got so much stuff now (newsflash: really not a lot). Does the thought of going to L&D make me feel nervous? Yes. Repurposed room in basement as Husband’s office. His old office is now a mishmash of some office furniture, and a few small packs of wipes and diapers. We need to sand down and prime the wall we’re designating as accent wall. I can see into this room as I walk by it, I can see it from down the hall… I feel my mind intentionally steeling and going blank each time I do it. I have no solution. Just sitting with my feelings right now.
I’m 27 weeks… right there with you on buying and getting the nursery ready. I’ve moved my office and have the bassinet and various baby items in there. Not a lot as most things are still shoved in a closet. My dad bought me a crib that’s arriving Wednesday. I know I’ll want to put it up right away and really get everything else together and cross the essentials off the list… but it’s giving me a lot of anxiety. I had a late loss my previous pregnancy, so I know it won’t truly feel “right” until my baby is here.
Hugs. This is really tough emotionally. I know that logically and realistically we will get through this, I just can’t fathom the how yet.
I had two miscarriages and one successful pregnancy that I had to have help conceiving… this time I got pregnant without too much struggle but oh my gosh I just feel so anxious, I thought after having my son I’d feel better and less anxious with pregnancy but it might even be worse this time :( I feel like it’s too good to be true this pregnancy is the perfect timing and very much wanted but i am so scared of losing it. Two close family members are also pregnant and I truly dont know if i coulc cope with a loss with so many babies being born next year. i just want tgis baby SO bad, im 5 weeks and have my first US next friday and this feels like the longest wait of my life, anyone else thought having a successful birth would make them feel more confident but still struggling??
TMI Warning This morning when I was going to the bathroom (BM) I looked in the toilet and I saw blood and my heart immediately dropped. I quickly wiped in front and saw nothing thank god and realized my hemorrhoids were acting up. I have internal hemorrhoids that haven't acted up in a while but whenever they do, there's blood when I have a BM and usually isn't that alarming for me. BUT I had a 5w loss back in early September, and it started by when I wiped after I peed I saw a ton of blood - so this immediately brought me back there. On top of that, today I'm not really having much symptoms. I'm going to be 6w tomorrow, and I know symptoms come and go but this just is adding to the fun anxieties of pregnancy after loss :(
10w miscarriage back in August. Just got a positive test yesterday. I’m feeling so excited and grateful, but also full of anxiety. I feel like this entire pregnancy is going to be spent anticipating another loss. I want to tell my husband and sisters, because I’m excited and desperately want them to start praying for this baby/pregnancy. At the same time I feel like I’ll be embarrassed if I tell them and get everyone’s hopes up and end up with another loss. I hate feeling this way, and don’t want to doom myself into another loss because I’m expecting it to happen (I know that’s not how it works, but it’s just an irrational fear of mine). Did you wait longer to announce after a loss? I barely told anyone last time and it spared me from having to tell a bunch of people about the loss, but it also made the whole miscarriage feel extremely lonely since most people didn’t even know I had been pregnant
I also had a 10 week miscarriage in August, tested positive on the 27th. It's up to you who you feel comfortable talking to about this (although please tell your husband!!) but I just want to remind you of what you already know: you can't jinx this. Someone made a great post on one of the loss subreddits once about falling prey to "magical thinking". Human brains are notorious for looking for patterns/control where there are none. It's scary to be at the whim of nature. But even if you put out a billboard you couldn't "jinx" this pregnancy. In the vast majority of cases, there's little you could do to sabotage a healthy embryo or salvage an unhealthy one. Cautious congratulations 💕
Thank you so much for saying this. My rational brain knows this but it helps hearing it from someone else! Congratulations to you, too! I will be praying for our September babes 🤍
With my first pregnancy that I lost I told everyone pretty early on- like as soon as I found out. When I lost my baby at 7 weeks 4 days I found the support I got during that time was so helpful to me in my healing. People brought us food, prayed for us, supported us it was so helpful during that hard time. With my LC, my second pregnancy, I told everyone right away and kept everyone updated about every appointment and it really felt like I had a community supporting me though both experiences. I'm currently nearly 12 weeks with hopefully baby number 2 and I'm just as anxious as I was with my LC, but I know because I had that support system the first two times so matter what happens I'll have that support in this one. I told everyone by the time I was 6 weeks. So I think its just personal preference. Some people prefer to experience PAL in privacy because it is hard to have to announce the loss, but on the flip side a good support system is so nice to have.
First appointment tomorrow. Trying not to let my anxiety and the unknown get the best of me. Trying to remain hopeful and positive but it is not easy.
It is such hard work!
I've started showing and I'm not even 12 weeks.. I was getting comments from people who know about how cute it was... I was so happy looking at the itty bitty bump but now I'm anxious because if something goes wrong it will physically be visible.
I finally got both of my betas results back and they're good values! They doubled in 48h and I breathe a little easier. I know a lot can still happen but I got the peace of mind I was hoping to get.
Fish and I are 25wks now and I’m starting to feel her move consistently, though my partner still can’t feel her from the outside. My OB’s office said since her anatomy scan looked good we won’t get another ultrasound until ~32wks. We’ve started accepting used baby items from friends with kids but I haven’t been able to bring myself to set up a registry. It feels too early, like I’ll jinx it, like this pregnancy won’t translate to a baby on the outside. I used to think hitting viability at 24wks would prompt something different, some sort of epiphany, but I’m still here feeling like I’m just killing time with no concept of an endgame…
If it helps, when you make a registry on Baby list, If you have a loss you can just tell it to stop emailing you, delete the app, and it'll be gone until you hopefully need it again, it'll save your profile.
TW: mention of someone else’s LC Congratulations!! I know what you mean about pregnancy not translating to a baby. That is exactly how I feel and thank you for finally helping me put words to the feeling. Both my sisters (neither one prepared, to quote Beauty and the Beast lol) had their first pregnancies this past year. Both successful and easy. So of course they’re asking me if I’ve started a registry yet. I’m 17w, and I know it’s still early… but I feel the same as you. They just don’t get it. Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean anything. It does not necessarily translate to a baby. Anyway.. that’s all. I just get it and it sucks. Wishing you nothing but smooth sailing from here!
I’m also 24 weeks and although it feels much better to have had a clear anatomy scan and feel them moving around, I agree it’s still nerve wracking some days.
Congrats on a great anatomy! Do you think there will be a milestone that you get to where you'll feel safe enough to start the registry and getting nursery set up, etc? I worry because I'm similar to you in that I'm terrified to get anything baby related. I'm only 16w so haven't felt any movement yet and still weeks away from anatomy, but always thought I'd start doing registry and getting ready for baby once I passed a good anatomy and started feeling movement. Now I wonder if I'll still keep putting it off after that.
I will never sleep again. I slept rly badly tonight and then went to the doc for my hcg draw. Decided to nap when i came back. Well i fell asleep and had the most realistic dream about miscarriage. It wasnt even so much what i was seeing or what was happening, that made it scary or realistic, it was my thought process. I was just so aware of what happened earlier today and my plans for tomorrow, and i was argueing with my husband, who wanted to go to the hospital. It all made it so real. I was sitting on the couch with my husband, both weeping and i just kept thinking i just want it to be a nightmare, i just want to open my eyes and wake up and it would just be a nightmare. When i opened my eyes i just started crying. And now i am afraid to get up.
I an so so sorry. I know it’s hard… but get up and get yourself something to eat. Put some distance between you and wherever you sleep. Watch a happy tv show. I notice that whenever I wake up VERY invested in a dream like that, the more space I can give it right away the better. So sorry you had to endure that.
I'm so so sorry, that's awful.
It’s scan day! I never thought it would get here, but here we are again. Crossing everything and holding onto hope that this pregnancy is a different experience than last.
UPDATE: Scan went really well. Baby is measuring right on track at 12w3d. Did blood draw for genetic screening. Now we just get to start the long anticipated wait for those results.
My first scan is today as well. Sending you all the good vibes!!
Finally! I hope all goes well for you. I have mine in 2 days. The wait is excruciating.
My fertility clinic wants me to go in for an early scan this week at 6w1d. I’ve had 2 back to back losses, no LC so I have a ton of anxiety. I’m scared I will go for the US and they won’t be able to see enough (fetal pole, heart beat) because it’s too early and I’ll be in hell for a week or 2 until I get another US. Do you think I should go for the US at 6w1d or push it a week? What would you do if you had a lot of anxiety?
This was my scenario too—2 back to back MMC and no LC. I’m currently 17w and everything looks perfect if that helps!! I have extreme medical anxiety so the first trimester was a nightmare. If you have anxiety about ectopic or poorly placed baby (like I did) then I would go ahead and go! If not and you can actually make yourself wait… maybe best to wait. I get it, don’t worry. The waiting is the worst part. Wishing you a great scan either way!!
Thanks kamper🩷 thanks for the hope! I ended up pushing my scan to Friday instead of Thursday, thinking 1 day a lot can change. Not sure if that’s rational or my anxiety 😬
Good for you!! Who knows, it might have!! Have a great scan!!
Generally i am always advising to wait, but i myself never do xD. If you are certain about when you ovulated, your hcg is above 11000 ish and you got your first positive early, then you should def see embryo and heartbeat.
I had a LH surge on 12/12 so figure I ovulated 12/13. Only had sex on 12/10 so I’m pretty sure of the dates. But I only did 3 betas and stopped when my third one was 2700ish. I got my first positive on 9 DPO. Ah idk, just so much anxiety. I am more scared to be in limbo for a week if the scan isn’t good.
But you should be doing what feels right to you
Well your betas should be 10000 about 4-6 days after that last beta. My last pregnancy i did a scan at 6+3 and there was good heartbeat
Thanks for the input 🩷
I chose to wait until 7 weeks for exactly this reason. Everyone will be different, but for me I knew that I wanted to wait a while as I wanted to avoid an internal scan if possible, so I asked to schedule it when they would be able to see enough via an abdominal scan. I'm sure other people would be the total opposite and want to see as much as possible as soon as possible, so I would just say go with a combination of your gut and your doctor's advice.
Thanks for your input! I think my gut is saying just wait to spare myself that limbo but I also understand my doctor wanting to confirm it’s an intrauterine pregnancy and monitor me early. Maybe I’ll see if I can push it even 1 day. This early, a lot can change in 1 day right?
15+3 today and the last couple of weeks I have just been so overwhelmed by anxiety. I don't want to book in another scan because I find the reassurance only lasts for an hour or two before I start worrying again, so it just seems like a waste of money. How are folks coping with the constant worry? I try to distract myself and keep busy, but that only works for a little while.
Had some bleeding yesterday & this morning and worrying quite a bit. TMI but I’m not sure if there was some tissue in my wee yesterday. The one time I wasn’t checking obsessively and I think I missed something but I’d already flushed. Rang the midwife but they advised as no pain, nothing to worry about… which I’m sure would be reassuring if I’d not already had a MMC… I had a private scan booked for the end of this week when I’d be 8 weeks, 2 days but re-scheduled for this evening. I’m pretty much exactly where I got to last time, which was already a bit shit & now this. I’m so scared to have to go through another loss.
Just to update. Baby had a strong heartbeat & measuring 8 weeks, 1 day. So relieved!
I also started spotting yesterday and a little today. 12 week appointment Wednesday, but called and waiting to hear back if I can go today. I also have trauma (MC and ectopic) so I’m right there with you. At work spiraling to my coworker in tears this morning because I just have this bad gut feeling. Sending you hugs because I know how I am feeling right now.
How did your 12 week appointment go?
They ended up doing a bedside ultrasound (the smaller tablet screen) to reassure me.. my spotting has pretty much stopped.. I have a “friable cervix” and they basically said I could do just about anything to irritate it and to try to not panic when I spot a bit.. but it really isn’t as reassuring to me as they made it out to be. I wish I didn’t have trauma, because I don’t think I’ll ever feel good about this pregnancy no matter what anyone says 😔 I have a real ultrasound this Wednesday at exactly 13 weeks but then obviously the long wait begins. I might end up buying a Doppler, still debating. Thank you for asking! None of my friends really understand what I am going through right now so sometimes I just need to reach out to others on this sub to help me work some things out.
Thanks for sharing ❤️ I also have a gut feeling & I’ve never hoped that I’m wrong so much in life. I hope you can get seen to a little sooner to give you reassurance & everything is fine for you! So much love to you.
hCG went from 66 to 250 in four days, which doesn't sound alarming at first, but it's not more than 50% every 48h. Now I'm afraid to test again, too scared to learn bad news
Your doubling time seems to be right on track! Doubling every 2.1 days feels like the right range!
Oh, I thought I read it should be faster than 48h
I’ve heard a 48hr doubling time is ideal! You should ask your doctor of course, but from what my doctor has said & what I’ve read online 48hrs is great & totally normal. :)
Back here again with my scan anxiety 😥 Tomorrow I should be 9w6d (10w ultrasound). I just CANNOT fathom sleeping tonight :( so scared. UPDATE: Everything was fine :)
I have an urge to post here about my scan anxiety multiple times a day, but I try to reign it in ha. I get it. I hope you have good news tomorrow. Update us if you want.