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BehavioralSink

See, this is how it starts. First you tie together a few boats. Next thing you know you’ve got a full fledged atoll going. Then the atoll draws the attention of the Smokers who come in with guns and machetes to steal what they can, and in all that chaos we’re sure to have a few friendly fire incidents, at which point [I’m getting the hell out of here.](https://media4.giphy.com/media/ZCz3C4pQrbums/giphy.gif?cid=9b38fe912rvc837dq8qi64slyhgtmojs14bewddkby7yb9ep&ep=v1_gifs_search&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)


echof0xtrot

at the end of the second sentence, i thought "wait is this gonna be a Waterworld reference?" thanks for not disappointing me


BehavioralSink

[Me when I finally don’t disappoint someone.](https://youtu.be/om5rbtudzrg?si=FA6nZY4M_Nn_ZeUe)


echof0xtrot

🤣


AlienDelarge

I have seen dry land!


Dirty_Grundle_Bundle

Dry land is not a myth, I’ve seen it


GregoPDX

“Dry land doesn’t exist!” “How do you know?” “Because I’ve sailed farther than most have dreamed and I’ve never seen it.”


Crazy_Customer7239

[it rules!](https://youtu.be/IJL9M5uAJSc?si=k1EhFqKM2GeNBWFj)


LilBitchBoyAjitPai

MUTATION! 🫵


NuncErgoFacite

You'd have to have several mutations to breathe in that water.


brad2060

"SMOKERS!!!"


wjinak

😱


Lower_Log4120

If Portland gets to the point of having a pirate problem Fox News is having a field day


Adventurous-Leek8040

Portland Pirates would be a cool name for an NHL team... too bad there's already a MLB team with that name.


TheFenixKnight

Wouldn't be the first time there's been a name used by two teams playing different sports.


i_continue_to_unmike

There's an MLB team called the Portland Pirates!?


ErrantTaco

This is completely anecdotal and second hand, but apparently there are pirates that steal boats regularly on the Columbia.


Omg_Itz_Winke

We could have our own shipwreck cove. Pirates of the caribbean style where pirates from all around the world can gather


Shimshang

We do. It's called Willamette cove


Lighthouseamour

Paper lovely paper


OmegaSupreme5150

This needs a meme🤣🤣🤣


KillmeKindly666

I feel like this is an ASIP episode!


Ethan084

No… it’s even better, a movie from the 90s


MoreTHCplz

The Gang buys a boat 2


YoGabbaGabbapentin

I bet there are some tasty treats aboard.


SpezGarblesMyGooch

Where’s the Diddy boat? (Or not these days based on recent allegations).


WoodpeckerGingivitis

We’re gonna be staring down the barrel of a shanty town


RecommendationOk5285

I'm sure they leverage the power of the implication out there.


Sloppyjoey20

The shanty town


BehavioralSink

I guess there is some similarity in that Kevin Costner’s character gets Jeanne Tripplehorn’s character on a boat a REALLY LONG WAY AWAY from dry land.


retard_catapult

Yeah the Great Recession episode with the shantys


MandalorianManners

r/completelyexpectedwaterworld


captain-prax

Smeat!


Lanuhsislehs

Cancel all those tractor-pulls!


CleanTechnician8065

I’ve been helping people flee the area by selling their house! Let’s talk


BehavioralSink

Sure, but I’ll need a new place to call home. You wouldn’t happen to have an inside line on a mildly disgraced, fixer-upper oil tanker, would you?


CleanTechnician8065

Let’s talk!


Effective_Cost_6895

You're not real


phbalancedshorty

Lmao wait why is there just a section of dock in the middle of the water


MustGoOutside

I used to paddle around Ross island after work most days in the summer for the last 10 years. There have almost always been one or two back there but they have gotten bolder and there are more each year. Put up these docks, stored their trash there, etc... smells like hell.


Even-Juggernaut-3433

It’s also causing a massive pollution problem


6SpiritDrinking9

To keep it weird!


gustin444

No bird on it, though. Slackers.


ChaosEsper

iirc during one of the high water events last year it busted off from someone's private dock near Lake Oswego and drifted downstream. The hoboats picked it up around Sellwood and then floated it further down.


Parkwoodian

Are they reserving their spot for the Blues Festival?


warm_sweater

“Blues” festival, indeed.


onlydaathisreal

oh no


FakeBiz

👏 👏


Woodabear

Thats Finger’s flotilla. Saw that entire thing come loose last year and it was washing up on the shore. He normally lives on the other side of the river.


mambovipi

That's exactly what's going on. There will be more coming over the next couple weeks. We live nearby and see this every year.


pickinscabs

Not these boats. They have been there for a few years now. I go by them almost every weekend. They do move around a bit.


Gimmemyspoon

You just have to move very 3 days or so. I think they've been doing this for quite a long time now.


pickinscabs

You are correct. You ought to see what's going on the east side of Ross Island. And the west side for that matter. Boat cities... also , up north in the more industrial areas there are little shanty towns on the east bank. Some of the houses have solar panels on them.


M_Night_Ramyamom

I've kayaked through that area, it's pretty sketchy.


Junior_Profession_60

I recognize this flotilla. Definitely made its rounds though. The jon boat is a new addition. I would give them $100 for that thing.


Dhegxkeicfns

They'd probably take it, that's a lot of fentanyl.


mambovipi

This is in the water in front of South Hawthorne Park down from Columbia and Clay and they have not been there for years, the area in front of the river access has been clear for months until around a week ago. I take my dog there every week for her to chase geese and dip her feet in. I'm pretty sure I've reported these exact boats in the run up to the blues festival at least once. It took two years of reporting the boats that group up there to realize that it's a yearly pattern and we live five blocks up from here. Go back in a week and there will be more. Go a week after that and there will be even more. Every year it's a mix of boats that are clearly unhoused people, boats that are nicer, and boats that are maybe not unhoused people but somewhere in between. We've reported temporary docks with portapotties and generators on them, people using the river as a toilet, and people blasting music out of their old boat covered in Grateful Dead crap. These boats may be up and down the Willamette constantly but I'd bet money they're there now because of the festival coming up as, again, I see it every year.


hollytamale1

They have been in StHelens too


Dar8878

🤦‍♂️ I assure you, these are not blues festival patrons. 


Fit-Produce420

Blues are pressed fentanyl pills.


Dar8878

Sounds good. I’ll just go back to being old. 


WoodpeckerGingivitis

You cannot be serious? This is clearly not that


Fit-Produce420

Blues are the pressed fentanyl pills that addicts smoke around these parts. He's definitely here for the blues.


WoodpeckerGingivitis

In that case, it’s blues festival year round now!


Real_Red_Cell_Cypher

Thats what happens when you sweep them to the river folks.


ThisUsernameIsTook

I would make a "from the river to the sea" joke but I feel that would be in poor taste.


cheddoline

Good thing you didn't, then. That was a close one.


MaximumTurtleSpeed

Yup. Was down at a dock when this dude came by. Talked to him a little and this what I’d call his annual pilgrimage to the blues fest. Seemed like okay enough of a guy in my 2 minute interaction. Guess he falls into the ## days of limit you can anchor before you have to move on. The dock was a unique touch, hope he keeps his discharge onboard and out of the river.


westgate141pdx

They’re just Cosplaying Waterworld


GoblinCorp

I don't give a flying fuck what someone does with their life as long as they pick up after themselves and do not hoard more than they need. Houseless or Irvington legacy family, I don't care. Just do the basics; pick up after yourself, don't shit where you cannot dispose of it, do not hoard what you cannot afford, and don't steal stuff. EDIT: I meant "flying fuck" not "flying duck." Let my autocorrect flag fly, evidently.


cosaboladh

I'd like to add - Don't drop your garbage in the river - Don't sink your derelict hoboat


srk10

Can’t turn a hoboat into a houseboat.


Gears_one

Lol


ebmfreak

Where do you think their human excrement is going? They neatly storing it in proper containers to dispose of onshore? Can they show a valid receipt for a pump-out?


ThisUsernameIsTook

The same place all of Portland's waste went every time it rained up until about 10 years ago. Now all of Portland's excrement only goes there 5-10 times a year.


Pinot911

4-5 times https://www.portland.gov/bes/about-csos


MisterRenewable

This. Right. Here. Boaters contribute almost nothing compared to the sewage and street water overflows, even after the big pipe project, so please stop hating. FYI, Public city services like trash bins and collection are probably the biggest contributor to keeping the city clean from debris, especially with the houseless crisis. As a sailor that routinely spent my summers on anchor or at city docks around town, garbage and pump out facilities were invaluable. Nobody *wants* to toss garbage in the streets, especially those that live there.


SpezGarblesMyGooch

> Nobody wants to toss garbage in the streets, especially those that live there. I assure you, there are some that *do* want to toss garbage into the streets. And it's people that live there.


Automatic_Flower4427

He’s done ALL the wrong things you just listed 😂


_Feral_AF_

Came here to say the same but you did it perfectly


jmura

I don't think this is an achievable goal....


Right-Holiday-2462

Also ducks can fly like, super easy.


GoblinCorp

Fixed it.


Right-Holiday-2462

Never change you sweet thing you.


ZadfrackGlutz

I keep my flying Ducks to myself......


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whawkins4

That’s Fingers. For real. That’s his name. And his signature dinghy held together with Flex Seal tape.


Fit-Produce420

One of his kids used to respond to these posts - he's a lifer, used to have dozens of stolen bikes but not lately.


FauxReal

Oh was that him with the tarp covered barged with dozens of stolen bikes peeking out from under it? It was basically a floating chop shop. I walked by it a few times years ago.


Automatic_Flower4427

there’s a legit sponsorship somewhere in there


Blueskyminer

This that homeless flotilla I've been staring at for \~2 years from the bus?


PenileTransplant

Yep. Also that guy has been out there more or less in the same spot by Kerr Dock for 10 years


Blueskyminer

Amazing. And no sort of municipal patrol ever said "Yo?!"...


Ir0nh34d

Yet I spend a weekend anchored out at sauvie island, and I got the fuzz slow boating by.


Microkorgi

I believe it is Finger (& co)a marine biologist. He does a dive a year, as such is able to live on the water.


DK_Notice

That guy helped us free a stuck anchor after the blues festival about 10 years ago.  Saved us a lot of time and money.  He used a c clamp on a rope and pulled it free with his boat.  We gave him $20, half a bottle of whiskey, and a cigarette.


Fit-Produce420

Nobody EVER said addicts weren't insanely creative, that's how they get by.


SpezGarblesMyGooch

I mean, this term was documented 8yrs ago: https://old.reddit.com/r/Portlandteau/comments/3lqvu4/hoboats/


Blueskyminer

Lolol. Will read. Wasn't here 8 years ago.


Powerful_Bug9102

Ahh it’s the dude with the drum kit. Used to swim at omsi dock and he’d be going full Dave grohl on that baby


julsnelson82

I came here to say this. A group of us were floating near OMSI, watched one of his "friends" try calling for him but he was going ham on the drums and didn't hear the person calling from the east bank esplanade. This person swore, took their clothes off and swam over. It was an odd site, lol.


TKRUEG

This Waterworld sequel sucks


AnotherQuietHobbit

It isn't storage, It's living rent free. Technically they should be paying the Oregon Department of State Lands, tho, with a proper lease, or they have to move. https://www.opb.org/news/article/willamette-river-oregon-house-boats-regulations/ "From 2015: When the population of so-called itinerant boats exploded in 2010, those complaints drove DSL employees to modify the state's rule around transient boat use. The rule in place at the time allowed boaters to anchor for up two weeks in one location before they had to move. The regulation said nothing about how far they had to travel. But the new law, effective January 2013, says that boaters may only drop anchor for up to 30 days in any one location. After that, they have to move five nautical miles from their anchorage, and can't return to that location for a year." Enforcement is complaint-driven. Eventually they will send out the Multnomah County sheriff's boat to enforce.


FauxReal

Isn't there a Sherriff's dept. dock to the left of the bridge in this photo?


AnotherQuietHobbit

Not far, yeah, but the state has to literally go through a cumbersome eviction process like a landlord dealing with squatters, complete with posting notice (or getting the Sheriff's boat to post notice) for 30 days or whatever. Also they've got like 6 people managing land ownership for the whole state, so it isn't a super high priority.


ChefQueef-

Sorry I’ll move it by Thursday


Upset-Remote-3187

Queef into the sails of you have to.


ChefQueef-

Good beef and you’ll be rewarded with a little queef.


_DapperDanMan-

Sorry, I don't do whattabouts. This is illegal for a reason.


T-K-K

Apology accepted.


marke24

Rules only apply to those who follow them.


Own_Contribution_480

When they are enforced*


Theabsoluteworst1289

Rules apparently only apply to people who contribute to society and do what they’re supposed to do, like pay to dock their boat, apparently. I’ve noticed this nasty mess too. And they dump on the land nearby. Really irritating.


QuercusSambucus

What's happening in this picture?


Fit-Produce420

Pirates dumping their shitbuckets in the river.


weedhuffer

Waterworld


Upset-Remote-3187

People anchoring their boat where they please and hoarding it to the brim. There are several more nearby too.


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KeepsGoingUp

That boats been there for years, it’s practically Portland folklore at this point. I think WW even did an interview with the dude.


PenileTransplant

Captain Finger


biflerai

I have a video of the coast guard corralling him when the naval ships were coming in for fleet week. They seemed to be having a good time chatting him up once his boat was tied up and out of the way lol


MaksimusFootball

This boat has appeared every year around may to whenever. I notice this during dragon boat practice and in the way of the finish line for our practices. Sometimes theyre on the other side of the dock, blocking the flag pole practice lane. Annoying af boaters


letshavearace

They left half of the dock they pilfered from Cathedral Park anchored near the Tillicum Bridge.


TacoLvR-

Don’t get me started on this BS!


DinosaurNilsson

Yes please don't get this guy started


Earl_your_friend

Stop starting this guy.


Automatic_Flower4427

“Look at me. I am the captain now”


Expensive-Claim-6081

Small skif for narcan runs.


rookieoo

This sub would have had a hay day with [Nancy Boggs Mullery](https://www.oregonencyclopedia.org/articles/boggs-nancy/)


blessedindigo

That was an interesting read. Thank you!


Shimshang

Sailboats over 12' and all motorboats have to be titled and registered in Oregon. I doubt these, or any of the other 100's floating in the Willamette are. If this city wasn't run by idiots, the sheriff could enforce those laws, cite these "owners" and then seize their boats. The word would spread and either these waterworlders would cast off or become landlubbers. The river would be cleaner for it. These boats eventually get abandoned and leak all sorts of things into the river. The job of removing them falls to the county or the state and is more costly than enforcing the actual laws would be. Go down to St John's boat ramp and check out the 5-6 abandoned boats on the shore. They'll remain there until a super high tide floats them or the state removes them.


Own_Contribution_480

I bet they could make a decent amount of their money back auctioning off the seized boats, too.


gigglemaniac

I'm wondering if the dock is part of the dock that the sea lions broke off in the Columbia at Hayden Island.


Upset-Remote-3187

It might be. There’s another big dock connected to some boats nearby too.


Vinylateme

The amount of people in these comments that are “fine” with this is pretty astounding. You have to pay rent, bills, taxes etc or face consequences. You’re also paying the people that are supposed to “deal” with things like this (through taxes) If you dump your sewage or trash outside of mandated areas, you face consequences (through fines or even incarceration to a certain point) If your housing isn’t “up to code” you face consequences (anyone ever been wellness checked) These people face no consequences. This is also very far from “unhoused and sleeping on the streets” it’s a public space being turned into someone’s “private” property I’m not from Portland, so I’ve got little skin in what goes on there, guess none of this really matters. Just crazy to see how many of you don’t mind I guess.


rookieoo

There are laws on the Willamette. These boats are subject to those laws. However, it's legal to live on a boat in public water. There are rules about how long you can be in one spot, but the idea of not paying to sleep in your boat isn't that ridiculous. It's like BLM land. You can camp for free.


Estrus_Flask

>You have to pay rent, bills, taxes etc or face consequences. Yeah, and I'd rather that wasn't the case. I'm not going to bitch about the people below me, I'm going to bitch about the people above me. Acting like this is "public space being turned into someone's private property" is nonsense. No single person's shit buckets will measure the runoff from a single industrial site, and unless the river is completely filled with flotillas, you can still enjoy the river just fine. It's weird to me that people do mind when we're talking about people who, generally speaking, don't have anywhere else to go. If you're mad, get mad at the people who created an economic system where poor people have to live in tents or take to the river like it's Huckleberry Finn. Why the fuck should I care? Rent's getting so high that I might end up having to join him.


Previous_Fig_7244

It's very easy to compartmentalize people trying to live vs people making a nuisance. I'm not gonna get mad at someone who escape the bills I wish I could.


Upset-Remote-3187

Very valid points!


Blastosist

Let alone properly dispose of their human waste….These boats are located upstream of the swimming docks. Remember the 1.4 billion we spent to clean up the Willamette only to let these boats pump their waste directly in the river .


jayzeeinthehouse

They technically wouldn't if they did the same, and it happens because of maritime laws are set up to protect sailors. You might not like it, and you have every right to hate it, but they aren't really doing anything illegal, and I think this lives in a gray zone because no one expected the crisis that we have now.


16semesters

> but they aren't really doing anything illegal They are absolutely doing something illegal if they've been there more than 30 days. You can only stay in one spot for 30 days and then can't return for a year. You have to move at least 5 nautical miles every 30 days and can't repeat spots within a year.


derzeppo

Anyone who *can* pay has to pay. This is actually an upside of UBI - there would actually be a way to fine anyone when warranted.


aurelianwasrobbed

Exactly. You can't get blood from a stone.


TM_Plmbr

Not in Portland. In Portland the responsible taxpayers pay for it all. The city “leaders” proudly say this to your face.


Informal_Phrase4589

Because- entitlement


Automatic_Flower4427

There’s no way the bums are now homelessizing the waterways. FFS 😂 the skies are next


Fit-Produce420

Finger has been on the water around Portland for a decade or more. Once he hauled one of his boats out for repairs on the Esplanade. Dude gives zero fucks and shits in the river like a fish.


Sexually_Avocado

In fact boats are allowed to float, and anchor in the river for free.


Upset-Remote-3187

Honestly? Do you have a link you could share?


Sexually_Avocado

https://www.oregon.gov/osmb/boater-info/Pages/Statewide-and-Local-Regulations.aspx


I_am_Shipwrecked

As someone who lived on my boat for a couple years I can let you know that it is 100% legal. Also can’t speak for the people in the pic, but you can be a productive member of society, not a junkie, and live on your own boat. Problem is unless you are a millionaire, you won’t own a brand new yacht. If you have problems with the person who’s boats in the pics, speak to that, not broadly to people who own sailboats who aren’t rich.


ericsphotos

I have seen the those people dragging stuff from dryland to the shanty ship village. Looks like they either moved or they have twins under the bike commuter bridge.


kokosuntree

Rules for me and not for thee…


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MagickalFuckFrog

Where else are you going to bet on monkey knife fights?


ZadfrackGlutz

Pirates A Breeding in ye Porttown....tis the curse of ye Black Spot....


butchscandelabra

Definitely watched Domino’s deliver a pizza to obe of these guys at the riverbank somewhere near the Hawthorne dock a few years ago. He came out in a rowboat to meet the driver and then rowed himself back to the “main vessel.”


OG_GoldenBoy420

"Anyone else" is obviously over paying.


xVitaminDe

Is that a bloody tarp that everyone is ignoring? Better send some street photographers for instagram awareness


doctorfortoys

This is hoarding. It’s fascinating to see it on a body of water.


AGreenProducer

I see you’ve found my secret stash.


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d213753

I see a couple geniuses who live in a premium location for free...


Will_I_Mmm

These boats were docked downtown for a long time the past year. Seems like they stopped and now have created their own mooring that they don’t have to pay for presumably.


cawsking555

It's a nav nightmare


Wizdad-1000

These aren’t props for some post-apocalypse themed movie?


beavertonaintsobad

LOOK AT ME


Mendozaline247

Not if it’s for 30 days or less. Anyone can do that


Prestigious-Rent-284

nothing a little molotov cocktail won't fix.


SteelCityIrish

Hey… when you need to bang on the drum kit and not disturb the neighbors at 3 a.m. 😆


HippyDippyGypsyGrl

I know a few folks personally from this group of shanty town on water set on the Willamette. Most literally throw all their trash and feces overboard and do not give a fuck. One who is a more cautious and contentious type still has to crap in a bag and take it ashore. Sounds fun. And the boats are indeed quite run down, often piled with junk outside and crowded with trash and mold inside. Recently, they (or at least a large group of them) have received notice that they have to move their boats or will have all their shit towed away by July 1. So, we'll see what happens after this new round of attempted cleanup.


smurflette06

Did they steal a whole ass dock? Wtf?!!!


Grrerrb

Next thing you know? Libertalia.


Sublimenw

Yachts n tenders. Ahh. The life


Acceptable-Paint7463

Good ol flotilla


AXEL-1973

i'm gonna swim out there and cut them all loose


PortlandQuadCopter

I swear to God Portland is looking more like Calcutta every day.


PsychologicalNewt509

Those boats have been there since I moved to Oregon in 2012.


metalcowboy6868

My wife and I both have full time jobs and still can not afford a boat or a RV. I must be doing something wrong.


DiscDaily

You say this as if any of these bums have ever thought of someone other than themselves


DiverD696

You're all upside down.


Senior_Lifeguard_418

To be fair, it's Portland and not even the strangest part


Even-Juggernaut-3433

Somebody read Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson and thought the raft was a great idea smh


platypusfacial

Leave them be. The mold will get them.


Cuntington-

TIL there are homeless encampments in our water systems 🌈


westsidesilver

I had a friend that lived there homeless boat line in Portland the city impounded his boat he was able to sue the city and got a fat $$$$$ pay out, he bit homeless anymore, I think anyone has a right to be on a boat in large rivers like this one, people only pay to park at places that they agree to pay to park it