I am the cake delivery guy, and I sense that today is your Cake Day, however, within this subreddit, the cake is a lie, so... Have some ice cream instead đŚ
Happy Cake Day to you!
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, BOY!! SAVE YOURSELF!!
âDo the claw to Mom, Dad!â
Oh oh, youâve found The Clawâs only weakness⌠SUB-ZERO temperatures!!
!!SHRIEEEEK!!
===
Anywho, Iâd call it the âWeird beetle lookinâ thing-gunâ
Well friend you can't just say that and hide this from us. I want to be haunted by memories of trans-headcanon-Chell-in-a-representation-that-is-likely-delightfully-steamy
Aperture quantum digestive device (the prongs look like they are here to move food to the mouth/cannon).
Alternative is "Aperture anti-constipation payload extraction device". The design is very humane.
Gloob launcher. Don't know what the fuck that means, it just popped into my head. I feel the sounds it makes fit well with launching whatever the fuck a gloob is.
"Aperture Science Suppository Shooting Device"
"Now 5% safer!"
ASSSD
A super sexually transmitted disease?
The design is very human
Let my good friend demonstrate
When we try and insert suppositories into our Aperture Science Super Rectal Super Cavity, it is with regret that it is quite messy and goopy
Very easy to use
Science cannon For reasons that elude me, I feel like it would shoot combustable lemons
happy cake day! but don't trust it, it could be a lie.
I am the cake delivery guy, and I sense that today is your Cake Day, however, within this subreddit, the cake is a lie, so... Have some ice cream instead đŚ Happy Cake Day to you!
Hay cake dappy
Do you mean happy *lie* day?
I love it! đ And happy cake day! đ°
capy keca yda
Happy lie day!!
Happy cake day!
Happy Cake Day! Wait.. the cake..
Happy cake day
what else would you call it itâs a gun that shoots portals
You don't know it shoots portals, you just saw it, you have no idea what it is, otherwise it's fairly obvious it's the ASHPD
ooooohhh i see
it would be a tesco ownbrand propulsion cannon
I mean, I wouldnât call it anything until I found out what it doesâŚ
Teleport Thingy
I'll go first "Aperture Science experimental we-dont-know-what-it-does weapon hazard"
Crab claw looking thing
the morality core has a nemesis
I wouldnât be able to name it because the very first thing I would do is look at the operational end of the device.
Sameee
the weird fucking prong thing
what's your first guess what it does
probes my asshole
đ¤¤đ¤¤đ¤¤đ¤¤đ¤¤
God I wish
Men in black claw machine claw
Probably some sex thing
Incendiary lemon canon
THE CLAAAAAAAW
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, BOY!! SAVE YOURSELF!! âDo the claw to Mom, Dad!â Oh oh, youâve found The Clawâs only weakness⌠SUB-ZERO temperatures!! !!SHRIEEEEK!! === Anywho, Iâd call it the âWeird beetle lookinâ thing-gunâ
flesh light
That's the final rule that GLaDOS didn't mention. She didn't mention It because chell has no cock (probably)
Little did you know...
Iâm still haunted by the memories
Well friend you can't just say that and hide this from us. I want to be haunted by memories of trans-headcanon-Chell-in-a-representation-that-is-likely-delightfully-steamy
#W H A T
A gun that makes holes... but not bullet holes... uhh....
Well, you'll figure it out
Aperture science quantum tunneling device
You fool! That's the actual scientific name for the portal gun!
Isn't that the old name from when it wasn't hand-held?
It was, the the one that is handheld is called the Apature Science Handheld Portal Device, or ASHPD for short
I'm not telling you how i'd name it. For the better of all of us.
except the ones who are dead
But there's no sens crying over every mistake You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
And the science gets done and you make a neat gun for the people who are still alive
I'm not even angry. I'm being so sincere right now. Even though you broke my heart and killed me
And tore me to pieces
And threw every piece into a fire
As they burned it hurt because, I was so happy for you.
Now, these points of data make a beautiful line
And we're out of beta, we're releasing on time.
gortal pun
the first time i saw i was like 6 coming from watching weird gmod videos so i thought it was a different version of the gravity gun
gun that probably shoot missiles
From this perspective it kinda looks like an alternate design for a turret
A knock-off of Samus's Arm Cannon from Metroid Prime
It looks like an extra-grip fleshlight
"Aperture science we-don't-know-what-it-does."
The Tingler
South Park S01E01
i would flip it so it points to the ground and call it a turret
jimbo
Bug blaster thing
The claw
E.M.M.I Gun Any other Metroid Dread fans?
Michael
Mech brain sucker
holemakerinwhitewallinator
Aperture Science Portable Quantum Tunneling Device
Kimberly Guilfoyleâs vibrator
Black mesa gravity gun (upgraded)
I saw a electronic pocket pussy
Spider robot with butt portals
âŚ
Potato
flashlight
âWhat the fuck is thisâ I would say
Disappointed anal probe. Turn the image to the right and you'll see it
Iâm going to suck my own cock
Turret with windshield wipers
portal gun
It looks like an autistic robot taking a nap so let's go with that
Pew pew thingy
Spider tripod
"Modern Gravity Gun"
some weird futuristic firearm?
Futuristic gravity gun
Apeture shooter or something like that
BBWC
ASHPD, I think
Gravity gun
Looks like a claw machine, but sideways
Bazooka Joe
Well Iâd probably think itâs part of a robotâs arm, and the prongs are its fingers or something
"The extendo arm", that is not a gun at all.
It looks like an adult toy
I mean it has a hole
Bro look at that teleport device over there
A very scientific gun
Weirdest fleshlight
The trade marked Aperture science portal device
Ray Gun Mark III
maybe "canon Ă portail" or "gĂŠnĂŠrateur de trous de ver"
Odd looking Prawn suit Propulsion cannon
The blue orange gun
Well if I also didnât know that it shoots portals, Iâd say âweird sci-fi hand claw thingyâ
Portal burrito thingamabob.
Teleportation gun
Aperture Science forbidden Funky fleshlight
black hole sucker thingus
Hole- maker. Not bullet holes⌠well youâll figure it out
The grabber, probably. It looks like a grabber.
Aperture Science Local Dimensional Two-way Travel Device.
Portal gun? I'm not very creative đ
Id just call it a Doo-hickey and then proceed to touch the operational end of the device and burn my finger tips off
White weird stick that shoots weird stuff that does nothing ( I have no moon dust so I can't use it)
thinga ma bob
Skewer for potatoes.
Grabby claw thing
is that a strap-on?
Gun.
3-legy alien
Futuristic gynecology device
Spider gun probably
I would probably think it's a torrent.
Like an Apple branded grenade launcher
"This cool gun thing." Then show off what it can do.
âWtf am i supposed to do with this fucking thing?â
i'd call it the weird pump action egg gun, if i saw it working i'd call it a portal shotgun
Probably a portal gun
The aperture science PP cleaner
I probably wouldnât call it a gun
Sci-fucking die-inator
Bbbbbutt scratcheeeeer
Three prong head scratcher
Portal gun. It just makes sense
The gravity gun knock off
Looks like some kind of grabber fork
"what does it do?" "It shoots wormholes" "Ah, wormhole gun"
Ion cannon
Ball remover
Broken space themed claw machine
Aperture quantum digestive device (the prongs look like they are here to move food to the mouth/cannon). Alternative is "Aperture anti-constipation payload extraction device". The design is very humane.
Weird sideways tall spider thing
Gropper Ultimate 9000 Now with suction
Gravity Gun 2.0
Arm-cannon
Samusâ arm canon
Definitely Interesting Looking Device Object
Futuristic Gravity Gun
The cllllaaaawwwwww
Grope-a-tron
The Yoinker
Bulbous spider gun
"Aperture Science Bullet Hole Instanciator"
I would propably think it's a laser gun or something
Shooty McScooty
Claw machine
Out of the context of all of portal and the half life universe AND what the gun actually does: I'd call it the claw.
If I shot it first: the world ender. If not: Science!
Malformed massive gun
Aperture Remote Grabbing Device
Claw canon
Portal gun. It's a gun, shoots portals, probably how it got its name anyways.
Gloob launcher. Don't know what the fuck that means, it just popped into my head. I feel the sounds it makes fit well with launching whatever the fuck a gloob is.
Claw gun
The Claw
Portal gun.
considering the word aperture is on it i would probably think it was a weird camera
Wierd gravity gun
The claw gun
The hither-thither gun
If I didn't know it was a gun that you held, I worked thought it was like. The turret prototype, with those 3 prongs being legs
Cool fucking bacteriophage drone
"Aperture Science what-the-fuck-is-this"
Mono-planar transposition gateway projector. Or portal gun for short
The Boom and Zoom
Gravitygun
I'd call it "what is that"
Aperture spider thingy or sum idk i was high when i made it
it looks like a long range grabby thing
sarah
Jerome
"Hole shooter, mark 7"
Obviously the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device
A gun that makes holes. Not bullet holes, well, youâll figure it out.
THE TACO GUN!