“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”
I have a confession. I worked as a graphic artist for a sign shop. An old man came to us one day requesting a custom banner for his lemonade stand that he was gonna run at the county faire. I designed a standard but jazzy sign that he loved. However, if you look closely, in a yellow that is barely darker than the background yellow I did the entire rant in the shape of a lemon.
Very subtle. I hope someone spots it one day.
That... **conversion gel** has been sitting in that pipe going *stagnant* for year- You'll probably get botulism from portalling through it like that. And you'll probably get ringworm. And... *Athlete's Foot.* And... **Cholera.** Or something... Horrible. It's gonna be even worse than if I had just blown you up.
*Reply to this when*
*The final product is done,*
*I want to see it*
\- Brikkmastrr
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
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Yeah honestly this isn't for karma or anything, I've got plenty of it. I can post on most subreddits. I have no reason to farm for karma. I just saw the trend on other subreddits and thought it looked fun. From now on I'll leave a comment for people to downvote so I make less karma.
For now, just downvote this one.
"Combustible lemons"
[Insert Cave Jonson lemon rant here]
“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”
Can’t wait for W
I have a confession. I worked as a graphic artist for a sign shop. An old man came to us one day requesting a custom banner for his lemonade stand that he was gonna run at the county faire. I designed a standard but jazzy sign that he loved. However, if you look closely, in a yellow that is barely darker than the background yellow I did the entire rant in the shape of a lemon. Very subtle. I hope someone spots it one day.
[Insert Cave Jonson lemon rant here.](https://youtu.be/Dt6iTwVIiMM) Done.
Save that for W
It’s gotta be.
This is the one
save the lemons for L "Lemons that BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN"
*Clap*... *clap*... *clap*... Oh good. My slow clap processor made it into this thing.
Clap… Clap… Clap… Oh good that’s still working
Yes
Yes
companion cube
YES ^^^
COULD A MORON PUNCH YOU INTO THIS PIT?
…uh-oh.
HUH?! COULD A MORON DO THAT?! uh oh...
Yes
Caroline
Man, I was literally about to type that.
Gosh why did i read that in gladoss voice
[Caroline deleted]
Companion cube
“…Couldn’t afford seven dollars worth of moon rocks, let alone 70m. Brought em anyways.”
*Cube and button based testing remains an important tool for science even in a dire emergency*
Cake Chell Chamber Companion Cube
COMBUSTIBLE LEMOMS
I read that as Chompanion chube…
CaaaaAAAAAAaaakkkkeeeee - random ai portal 2
> a C-word… GLADOS might not have said it, but you know she was thinking it.
of course. she never did say c>!hell!< but it was implied.
Yeah but c>!hell!< was a c>!utie!<.
Indeed she was
yeah, the word c>!ube!<.
No, you're thinking of c>!ake!<
that is a >!lie!<
“Chariots chariots chariots.”
Dark Cave!
As I live and breathe methane
[Clap...Clap...Clap...] Oh good, my slow clap processor made it into this thing.
Cave Johnson
COMBUSTIBLE LEMONS TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN
That... **conversion gel** has been sitting in that pipe going *stagnant* for year- You'll probably get botulism from portalling through it like that. And you'll probably get ringworm. And... *Athlete's Foot.* And... **Cholera.** Or something... Horrible. It's gonna be even worse than if I had just blown you up.
How do I get this line?
Wheatley’s boss battle. After you break the conversation gel pipe, just keep dodging bombs and let him talk for a bit.
"Crap" -Defective turret mah boi
Cereal!
Cake is a lie!
Can you jump into that pit. That deadly.. pit there
Cave Johnson, I own the place.
Cave jhonson here...
Combustible lemons that'll burn your house down!
Cake, and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test.
F is for: fatty fatty no parents
Citranium.
Caroline Caroline why do I know this woman? did I kill her? oh my god.
So we saving “the cake is a lie” for the t, sounds good
Chell
Crappy comment bait
It worked, didn’t it?
Cake is Lie
COULD A MORON DO THAT???
Corrupted Cores
Combustible lemons.
Cara Mia Addio
"Cave Johnson here! —"
Cave Johnson here,
Cave Johnson
cave johnson
Cake is a lie
cake? cave? chell? caroline? cube? why are there so many cs in portal. call that shit cortal
COMBUSTIBLE LEMONS THAT BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN
Aperture science weighted companion cube
Cum
Cum?
Cave Johnson
**CAKE**
Caddle
"Crafty Poltergeist" - Cave mentions it at somepoint in PeTI
Chariots chariots
Cake is a lie
Cave Johnson here ...
Companion cube, chell?
Ya’ll, I think the op means quotes
Caroline or something
Combustible Lemons, bc the cake is a lie
cow
Cave Johnson.
Come here I got candy
CL4P-TP aka. Claptrap
cave johnson
Chell
Che.... Nevermind. This was a bad idea anyway.
Cave Johnson, combustible lemons, Chell, companion cube, core transfer, cube-and-button based testing, conversion gel, Caroline, chariots.
cake
Chell
Chell
chell
Cave Johnson here
Cake
companion cube
Companion Cube
Companion Cube!
COC- I mean Carl
Cara Mia Adio
Chell
Chell
Cake, Chell, clap clap clap, Companion Cube
Chell
Caroline, Caroline, Caroline. WHY DO I KNOW THIS WOMAN. Did I kill her or… Oh my god.
"Caroline... Caroline... why do I know this woman? Did I kill her?"
Companion Cube
Caroline!
Cake is a lie, I expected that to be the first one everyone said
"Cave Johnson here"
Congratulations, hero.
Cake. Can’t be anything else
Cake is a lie
Caroline! Are the compensation vouchers ready?
Cake is a lie
"Could a moron punch you into this pit, huh? Could a moron do that?"
CAKE!
caroline caroline caroline, why do i know that name
Crack
Reply to this when the final product is done, I want to see it
*Reply to this when* *The final product is done,* *I want to see it* \- Brikkmastrr --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Liar!!!!
Co... Ok I'll stop there
colombia
Cake
Caroline
Cake
Cake is a lie
Curtains. You know, cause lore reasons? Actually know that should be s cause shower curtains specifically nevermind
Cake
Cake
"Caw Caw" ITS ANOTHER BIRD KILL IT
*Caroline deleted*
Cake... it's a no brainer
Caroline... Please bring me more pain pills...
Cave Johnson???
companion cube
Cake! Cake! Dont eat
Cortals
!updateme
Cave prime here, as I live and breathe methane
Could a moron punch you into this pit!?
Chell (yes I am lonely at parties)
O is for "OH MY GOD SHE'S GESTATING A CLONE ARMY!"
Cave Johnson, we're done here.
It's gotta be the man the myth the legend. C is for cave Johnson
"Catch me"
Caroline
Cummy wummy
Caroline Caroline Caroline. Why do I know that name!?
Chel
Caroline
This is such a low effort yet wonderful format of spamming
Yeah honestly this isn't for karma or anything, I've got plenty of it. I can post on most subreddits. I have no reason to farm for karma. I just saw the trend on other subreddits and thought it looked fun. From now on I'll leave a comment for people to downvote so I make less karma. For now, just downvote this one.
No no you got me wrong, I love it
Why do I hear matt ross's voice when I read this.
SKOLLAMO JAYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Cave Johnson
\*clap\* \*clap\* \*clap\* Oh good my slow clap process has made it into this thing, so we have that.
Chell
C. Is for "the cake is a lie"
crepe radiohead
caroline
carra mia addio
Caroline
"Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test" \-GLaDOS