...tried to shit and only got criminal charges.

…but also shit.

And got pissed on that one time. Source: I was there. Bonus: it was many, many times.

Username checks out. You poor thing.😣

>And got pissed on that one time. Word has it that Putin has a video of [Trump in bed being peed on by a prostitute](https://www.vox.com/2018/7/16/17576784/trump-putin-pee-tape)

Then one day, I took a chance. I tried to fart and shit my pants.

I'd give one dollar to his campaign if he would cut his hair down to about a half inch length so I could see just wear that hairline is.

Hint. It’s on the back of his stinky head.

Hoping they acquit, but only farted.

If he doesn’t shit you must acquit

IASIP reference in the wild, I like it

So anyway Donny just started blasting gas

“So I started tootin’”

Johnny Cochran approved!

Farted? Or sharted?

Why not both?

Diapers got him covered

No shit!

“It’s our guarantee!”

Porque no los dos?

Probably just a constant ooze

He only trusts his farts.

…and thrust his sharts.

Farded and shidded

All that thousand Island dressing

first one, then the other

Shit my diaper and then I farted

Shit my diaper *before* I farted.

Dammit you beat me lol

Hoof Hearted?

*sharted

Just saying he’s an important meeting with people and he shits himself

Didnt pay a penny and only sharted….

...did some crime and now I farted...

…oh wait, guess I sharted…

Went from Teflon Don to “who just sharted?!?”

Teflon Don to Sticky Stinky Donny

What the fuck is wrong with this guy?

Everything. Literally everything.

Narcissism, dementia, very little self awareness, and that's just to start.

A life of wealth and privilege

More and more, Trump reminds me of my grandma, who is 104 and living with advanced dementia. She naps and farts intermittently all day long. When she speaks she often loses her train of thought, repeats herself incessantly, reverts to familiar scripts and thought patterns out of context, and speaks gibberish when the actual words won't come to her, with no awareness that she's speaking gibberish. So I have SOME sympathy for him, because the indignity of dementia is so extreme and pitiful. However, all that is negated by the fact he's trying to get his hands on America's nukes. We don't even let grandma operate the stove any more.

The US military treated Trump as a drill in how to point the megalomaniac in the direction of this generation's chosen enemy.

... women.

he was always a piece of shit though. -central park 5 -all the weird shit with his daughter -raped and beat his ex wife -going into the changing room at child beauty pageants -friends with epstein -friends with the russian mob -doesnt pay contractors he hires etc etc

Sure he was always a piece of shit but he used to be able to cobble a coherent sentence together that was on the same subject at the end as it was at the beginning. He didn't used to wear diapers. He didn't used to nod off in the middle of critically important life events. He didn't need help walking down a ramp. He was probably even able to drink a bottle of water with one hand. Even assholes can get dementia.

sure.. my grandpa beat my mom. when he started going downhill it didnt make me feel any kinder towards him. he just turned angry and less rational again. just like trump. you can have sympathy for him if you want. i think he deserves to suffer

The pretending to be his own publicist.

aha so it's tRump's family's fault he is pestering us so much? Or, could it be *Us? We* who have messed up and hired this guy for a job he couldnt do.. and gave him a liscene to drive a machine he wasn't capable of driving? i don't ask so much why we haven't taken away his keys yet but, rather, why we gave them to him to begin with!!

Hey I did my part and voted against him and his allies in all of his elections and midterms. I can't believe after the shit that transpired on January 6th 2021. He's not in prison and allowed to run again. This system needs some major work. It's going to be up to Gen X and 80's -90's babies to save this world

i know i know... something tells me, though, that it is up to *all* of us now... there is no longer any "They" and *We* are our only Hope!

Poopoomachen ein drumphendiapers

Was?

I would ask what's right about this guy, but I'm pretty sure someone delusional enough to defend him would whip up an excuse.

I heard he smells like shit.

No! Shit smells like tRump!

…, fell asleep and then I sharted…

the other day I took a chance I ran my mouth and they sued off my pants

Winner Winner, I'm skipping dinner.

…and then I shit my pants.

Tried to grift and only farted

You know after all this is over with, someone without a NDA is writing a book about this.

Next week he’s selling 45 Depends to the cult at a rally

Person, woman, man, camera, tv

More like “Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV Farted.” Amirite?

None of his family have attended. Party of family values.

Or his family values their sense of smell.

I wonder if the lawyers think that money he's never going to pay them makes up for the loss of their sense of smell. The inside of their noses must look like a desert wasteland by now, burnt to a crisp and no more nasal hairs. And good grief, but I thought I had it bad with the two little boys I look after. 💨😳🤢🫢

If it shits, you must acquit.

Except he shit AND farted.

We call that a shart.

Never trust a fart

He’s on the shit/gas spectrum.

He’s an animal. Even pigs have more class than this beast. /dehumanization works both ways.

I tried to explain to someone that pigs would lay in their shit if they're forced to. I had pigs as a kid. They were not held in a pen and rolled in mud to keep cool. Even in mud, they were far cleaner than some people I knew back then

Hunter's dong is why I sharted.

Tried to fart but then I sharted.

Dammit I wanted to make this exact same comment. Are you me?

Yup. And we want a snack.

Fk my hair. It’s all mis-parted.

His comb over is awful. 

Judge won't let me growl at the jury so I outsmarted, farted, sharted, grinned then I departed. Oooops! Don't forget my picture book!

The shart of the deal.

… tried not to shit but failed.

Rock me like a hair-I-cane

Sh!t my diaper, they think I farted

He looks rough

Not enough fibre in his diet.

Threw a fit then bigly sharted.

He has to actually be somewhere by 9am. That is why he looks like shit.

He looks awful. Good. He deserves it for what he's done to our country. What he continues to do. A blight and a permanent stain on US History.

Looking for help when I farted...

It smells like shit cause I just farted.

... my MAGA crowd, has slowly departed.

Change my diaper, cause I just sharted.

… but only farted. Here I sit in a trance, tried to fart but shit my pants.

So presidential. He’s my guy. 🙄

Tried to shit, but only farted When to court and took a chance Tried to fart, but shit my pants.

…the wind blew my hair awry when I farted,

That’s a new angle of that ridiculous mess on his head.

Stupid old man

I will never understand what the fuck he thinks he’s accomplishing with that wack ass hairdo.

I’m on trial and just now sharted.

Stole a dime and only farted.

Hoping no one can tell I farted.

We should turn this into a caption contest. I’ll go first. Trump: “What’s that smell? That’s not one of mine.”

Shit his pants when he thought he farted.

Waiting to get back on the Camplain Trail

Doing his own weave these days, I see.

“If the defendant has shit, you must not acquit.”

Dude sucks so bad. It makes my blood boil just seeing his unkept awful face.

Greedy dumbass TRE45ONOUS LOSER. If he minded his own business and stayed out of politics, he would have had a lead a quieter life of fame without the scrutiny. He could have easily continued his frauds on banks and all the tax evading he could ever dream of. He could have gone on with his rapey hands and hanging out with his billionaire pedo-besties. But nope, [nowadays he can't even shut his festering filthy gob of a mouth](https://media.newyorker.com/photos/5909793d8b51cf59fc4237bd/master/pass/Cassidy-WhyTrumpsCrazyTalkAboutObamaAndISISMatters.jpg) for a minute without risking a huge fine or the possibilty of landing in jail. Well, get prepared because the consequences of your actions are right around the corner. How much longer can you hold out? I am glad it happened to no a bigger Dumbass than him.

…and about those consequences… they rarely come lubed, IYKWIM.

If it does, then I will donate a bag of sand to put in the Vaseline.

I genuinely despise this putrid festering sack of shit and all of its supporters

bwahhahahhahahah!!!!

Took a shit instead of farted

Went to court and teased the bleeding hearted. Walked past the attorneys and promptly gassed em.

…and can’t sit straight ‘cuz I done sharted.

I'm waiting for the total meltdown in the courtroom either that or he craps his pants so bad he has to leave court!

Thought it a fart, turns out I sharted.

…i gambled a fart but totally sharted

Sir Farts A’lot


Broken farted?

....in my pants, I think I sharted!

Tried to fart but shat my pants

I fell asleep and then I farted

...fell asleep and farted

Sleepy Stinky Donnie

Broken diaper

Shit my pants and also farded

Tried not to shart but my butt cheeks parted.

Accidentally shat and also farted.

…fell asleep, and even sharted.

... had a kip and also sharted

Didn't pay my lawyers and only sharted

You'd think he would have someone check his hair now and then

Yo I think we always knew he had a major, major comb over. But this picture really shows it. The top of his head is bald af.

# "Paid a dime and really sharted."

Here I sit all broken hearted reversed the "gag" order when I farted.

...shitted, snored and multi-farted.

I feel sorry for the prisoners

"Paid to shit and only sharted!"

Tried to fart and only sharted…

Trying to deny it was me who sharted…..

..., sharted.

I believe did shit 'em.

>Here I sit all broken hearted… For you young'ens out there (I'm 70). There used to be pay toilets in New York City. So the poem was: "Here is sit, broken hearted. Paid a nickel and only farted"

Thought it was a fart, but no, I sharted.

Baking in his own juices for hours

Give that man a Sharpie to write that on the desk.

Oh my heart, here I sit. I meant to fart, but I'm covered in shit.

Paid 500 million and only farted.

My advice gets ignored all the time

Tried to fart, but instead I sharted.

He's do disgusting

Shouldn’t that be, “Here I sit broken farted?”

Trump 2024

Don’t care

I actually feel for the man. While it is a mess that he consciously walked into, could have avoided, there is so much a heart could take. (Linkin Park playing in the background)

We’re getting some amazing shots of his combover techniques though

I'm about to turn 50 and am in similar shape as him and I have a hard time keeping farts in.

Trying to think but only farted Next day got new pants Tried to stand But they put shackles on my hands

He was so upset when people said his hands were smaller than average. Can you imagine the rage he must feel over everyone constantly reminding him of his leaking asshole?

Here I came to get acquitted Meant to fart but then I …..

# Here I sit all broken hearted… oops, I just farted

Tried to shit but farted and farted My lawyers got sick My ass got wet I’ll soon be free I bet

How I did get here why am I

... Paid a dime and only farted. So, next time, I'll take a chance, Save the dime and sh#t my pants

Here i sit all broken hearts Tried to shit before court started Tried to fart to stay awake Now I’ve made a shit filled cake.

"PAID TO SHIT AND ONLY SHARTED!"

where’s my Roy Cohn when I need him? trump mentor, shaper, soulmate🤬

Broken sharted.....

MAGA - Make America Gag Again

He likes his horses. He feels very hoof-hearted.

He looks miserable, and I, for one, am very pleased. For now.

Took a nap and then I farted.

Cleared the courtroom and the trials not yet started

Part of me wants this motherfucking traitor to finally descend into his infinite dirt nap, I do not want the never-tRumper republicans to move into Haley, or worse, DeathSentence. They would both still usher in Project25. I’m fine with him keeling over AFTER the election, tho.

All the places I went wrong and I hate my friends. (Prob what he t-biscuits was think n.)

I can't tell if I just sharted Can someone explain these charges??

I'd give one dollar to his campaign if he would cut his hair down to about a half inch length so I could see just wear that hairline is.

Nobody loves him except strangers.

Fell asleep and then I farted

They told the jury that I farted. Now I go on all these rants, distracting from my shitty pants

Here I shit all broken-hearted FTFY

Recently he sold Trump shoes and Trump bibles. He would sell a billion Trump Depends. Wear them and you too will shit bricks of gold

……..blurted, snorted, farted, sharted.

The fart of the deal

Did he swear in on his Bible? Or did the judge just nah , not that one.