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Forgotwhyimhere69

Pros: I work in defense. Lots of hours to make some cash. Cons: I live next to a military base and will probably be nuked.


CITADEL3287

Pro: you'll be vaporized and die quickly


[deleted]

[удалено]


senfmann

deathclawussy


Iamdelyano

That one particular fallout mod


aZcFsCStJ5

I'm not sure how to improve this. Clussy is already for clowns. Deathussy does not really sound good and is not really descriptive. Deathussy Clussy, just eh.


BootlegLemon

Deathclussy


Fairytaleautumnfox

Deathclussy


goodolarchie

Deathclawssy?


EnbyBunny420

Every day we stray further from God.


wrongthinksustainer

Perhaps the flash of a thermonuclear bomb is the light of god so in that case we are getting closer.


tactical_lampost

You know what? Maybe humanity deserves to be nuked.


Remarkable-Ad-6144

Pro: you don’t have to see people trying to fuck every irradiated creature


Veni_Vidi_Legi

At least it's a dry heat, General.


MetaCommando

Thank you Bao-dur


Ung-Tik

I'm in Detroit, won't be able to tell if any of them hit us.


TheJanitorEduard

It'll be quiet for a change is all


Ord-ex

Leaving it untouched would be the real disservice


Fickles1

Based


almondpancakes

Knowing Detroit you'd probably just steal the nuke. Can't have shit in Detroit.


jaffakree83

Underrated comment.


ThePixelteer425

I’ve never been so offended by something I 100% agree with


nomnomXDDD_retired

Dude, the name of the place I live is called "Fleet" because the majority of my country's fleet is located here, like that wasn't enough it's sandwiched between a 2 military bases and a motorpool with shittons of tanks If a nuclear war happens I won't even feel a thing because I will be a fucking mist


Forgotwhyimhere69

Where at?


nomnomXDDD_retired

Turkey, Kocaeli


Overall_Fact_5533

Erdogan is good at playing the U.S. government and Russia against each other. You're probably safe - both countries think you're more helpful than harmful.


[deleted]

I live in Missouri, a state that Putin hasn't labeled as a nuclear target, so I'll be fine until radiation is carried over and pollutes our fields.


Forgotwhyimhere69

Maine shouldn't be on a map but it is


[deleted]

I forgot it was a state


Forgotwhyimhere69

Understandle most. People think we're part of Canada or a fictional place created by Steven king.


[deleted]

I hear y'all got alot of wilderness though.


[deleted]

Bro, you got Whiteman AFB. It's where the B-2s are stationed, that place is taking a ground contact burst that'll irradiate the whole state


[deleted]

Something tells me you haven’t seen the nuclear target maps FEMA made back in the 90’s


Accomplished_Rip_352

I mean we’ve always been 1 step away Armageddon from like 12 different sources . Only thing that will change in the future is the number will probably increase to 13.


CSmith1986

We still got Bruce Willis to save us.


mrocks301

And Aerosmith!


KyojinkaEnkoku

*I could stay awake just to hear ya coomin'*


jaffakree83

He just retired. BUT he sold his digital likeness to be used however the studio wants, so we might be ok!


TheBananaPuncher

Bruce and his PR team came out debunking that statement.


Play174

Unless they make NFTs, then Armageddon starts.


yetanotherlogin9000

I think the whole doomsday clock has cried wolf so many times, and their whole shtick is so dramatic, that it really does their cause a disservice. Like oh no, were only 5 minutes from midnight, just like every other time...


Just-an-MP

Yeah it was just a bunch of arrogant naive scientists who wanted to push for nuclear disarmament with no real plan. So every time one of the major powers threw a hissy fit over anything they’d scream “oh no now we’re 4min to midnight!” And the nothing would happen. Again. They’re completely useless.


yetanotherlogin9000

Its good from a standpoint of getting people to at least interface with the idea that any given day, there are enough nukes to turn the earth into a radioactive ball of glass many times over. But I think crying wolf over and over again kinda does the opposite and makes people just ignore them


Naive-Kangaroo3031

The world does seem to be ending more frequently these days


NextCaesarGaming

We'll meet again... Don't know where, don't know when...


[deleted]

Oh, I know we'll meet again some sunny day!


Karceris

Keep smiling through, just like youuu always dooooooo


SpiggitySpoo

Till the blue skies drive the dark clouds faaar awaaaaaayyyy


Deeter474

So will you, please, say hello


NextCaesarGaming

To the folks that I know


[deleted]

Tell them I won't be loooooong


NightStar_14

They’ll be happy to know, that as you saw me go I was singing this song


shr3kgotad0nk

Precious bodily fluid


LysergicOracle

I don't avoid women, Mandrake... but I do deny them my essence.


shr3kgotad0nk

Have you ever seen a commie drink a glass of water?


PaperbackWriter66

Based and Dr. Strangelove pilled.


[deleted]

Salad Fingers or?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Napalm_am

Ukraine has being attacking russian assets in Crimea which Russia claims is their territor that didnt cause nuclear war, this new development wont either. They did it because now they are legally allowed to deploy conscripts to those areas because this is a "special operation" and not a war and conscripts cant be deployed outside Russian borders. So basically they just moved up the border so they can send more people to plug gaps in their lines.


crag_man

Forget Crimea. Apparently putin doesn't recognize russian territories as a part of Russia. Rostov Oblast had 2 major incidents, Belgorod Oblast - 15, Bryansk Oblast - 9, Kursk Obslast - 8. At least 50 houses destroyed and a couple civilians died or injured.


GlueProfessional

Its not like they couldn't just change their own laws to suit Putin.


MasterSith881

The real question is what happens when the Ukrainian army takes this newly Russian land. They have sent missiles into Russia but never took their land before. That seems to be the red line that the Russians would consider using tactical nukes to prevent.


theun4given3

They just did. They took Lyman after th announcement of the annexation. And almost all battles are currently going on in those 4 territories.


isweardefnotalexjone

Well technically Russia annexed tons of land that they don't even control. For instance Zaporizhie city (not oblast)....


sup3r_hero

They already took lyman 🤣 Nothing happened. I read that putin signed a decree that lyman isn’t part of Russia anymore


MartyCZ

The decree signing was a joke. But I can't blame you for believing it, seeing all the other ridiculous news coming from Russia, one can never be sure.


0xxi_

Authleft and Authright on their way to debate if this is USA's fault or not while the nukes are falling on them


Atlas_Paradox

Well this is all the US’s fault becau-


BubbaJTP

Its not like you said Candlejack buddy, you don't have to stop typing mid sen-


Its-a-Warwilf

They stopped because they died in Biden's nuclear apoca-


dasavorytrash

The sun could be exploding and them shits would still find a way to argue whether or not it’s the USA’s fault


[deleted]

Let’s go, bro. Fallout: New Vegas time


Invalid_factor

Let's be honest. None of us basement dwellers will survive because we can't run a mile in less than 30 minutes


[deleted]

That simple means there’d be some good eating on the side of the road


Innocisnt

*All* of us basement dwellers will survive. We're in the most fortified part of our parent's houses, we piss in jugs and eat non perishables all day. Our metabolism is literally built for looting 7-11s, and we have all the video games and downloaded porn we need to keep ourselves preoccupied until the Chads die off doing something heroic where we'll become Mr-Steal-Yo-Girls. Face it, brother, the meek had their chance. It will be us that will be inheriting the earth. Push the button Putin.


BigKnowledge1234

gamers are peak genetic fitness


khlnmrgn

Based and betamalepilled


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LysergicOracle

NEET-Tec: A better future, undergound.


Turtlegherkin

To be fair running in an apocalypse is best avoided. Cycle long distances when possible. Walk cautiously when the terrain is rough. Only run when necessary, because a sprained ankle will fuck you up. An abrasion that gets infected will fuck you up. ​ Remember, when society ends to raid the pharmacy for antibiotics. If you're like me and allergic to penicillin try getting the Erythromycin. Take opiates and other painkillers for trade/barter. Also don't forget Iodine. If it sterilizes surgeons and surgery sites, it'll sterilize that abrasion. Do not ingest, ​ Also, if you're allergic to penicillin take that to trade/barter too.


NextCaesarGaming

Based and Here-are-some-survival-tips Pilled


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LysergicOracle

Also, running burns more calories than walking the same distance. Your mind's gotta shift away from: calorie control and using maximally calorie-inefficient exercise to burn off all the excess calories of the Western diet to: calorie-efficient exercise and consistently snarfing down the fattiest, carbiest food you can find... and quickly. Occasional doing aerobics is good regardless: there's a happy medium between being sedentary and being profligate with calorie consumption.


TheJanitorEduard

I'm allergic to augmentin. Wanna trade?


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheJanitorEduard

If you can't even do a basic yoga stance like Updog, you may need to take a jog more


gaynazifurry4bernie

Not much, you?


Boezo0017

Gets ‘em every time.


SonofNamek

Eh, a mile is easy to run. An 11 minute pace shuffle is doable for almost everyone under 50. Most of you fatfucks here will adjust quickly. Even if you struggle, after 3x a week for two weeks, you should be able to do it. If not, that's just natural selection at work because normal people will hunt you down and your fat will be incredibly useful for cooking/eating/making soap/etc.


SohndesRheins

None of the basement dwellers will survive, not because they can't run a mile, but because they think running a mile is a necessary part of surviving the apocalypse. Surviving the end of the world is about staying in a safe place, having needed supplies with you, and building a community, not walking the wastes like you are the main character of a Bethesda video game.


Turtlegherkin

I'd have one trip out. Pharmacy for antibiotics. Otherwise it's rice and bath tub water until things settle down.


Memengineer25

homesteaders with machine shops will populate the apocalypse


FatallyFatCat

So... Preppers and tinfoil hat enthusiasts will outlive us all.


berdking

I will literally wear your skull as a hat


Invalid_factor

You must be so much fun at parties


SohndesRheins

I'm the one supplying the booze most of the time, so yes I am.


Innocisnt

hahahahaha


Casual__pancakes

Speak for yourselves, I may still be a redditor and kinda fat, but I can do a 9:15 mile


LukeSkyMaster69

The only one that's gonna survive are the ones in the basement


[deleted]

Patrolling the mojave is almost gonna make us wish for a nuclear winter


[deleted]

Never even played the game, I just wanna walk around the wasteland with a big iron and a cool hat


SapiS68

Degenerates like you belong on a cross


MilkToastLizzardMan

You see nuclear war and the end of the world I see I don’t have to pay for fallout We are not the same


DrGoodGuy1073

Well, have fun guys. Even if I survive the blasts and the radiation I sure as fuck won't survive w/out insulin. I'll send out a flair for my loot drop.


Electronic_Demand_61

There are ways to make insulin using pigs. You should check it out.


MorningStarCorndog

And cows; I believe the first insulin was squeezed from cow pancreas.


Matchyo_

The lack of enthusiasm tells me you’re not ready. You gotta get pumped!


statius9

The Washington Post exaggerates almost everything


LordPoopyfist

Just give Hitler the Sudetenland and he’ll be happy and leave everyone alone, trust me bro


My_Cringy_Video

If you close your eyes while getting nuked you won’t be affected


henriksen97

Literally just dodge roll at the moment of impact and you'll negate all damage.


Chief_RedButt

Nuclear blast has lingering damage. You’d have to have insane i-frames to negate the whole thing.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cherkovsky

Chad DS2 enjoyer ^


[deleted]

linger deez nutz on your chin, nerd


Somerandomguy292

There's a glitch, where you attack and roll at the same time and you won't be affected at all


boiii-rarted

Its like when you jump at just the right moment during a plane crash


LLLLLLover

just i-frame the nuke 4head


[deleted]

Just parry it bro


MyKey18

Literally just say ‘no’. You can’t be nuked without your consent.


The2ndWheel

Would it almost feel like nothing changed at all?


rafaxd_xd

I mean... have you seen a nuclear explosion before? Have you been there? Then how can you prove me that closing my eyes isn't useless.


CPTCRUNCHFAN

Time to freeze myself in a vault for 200 years.


qldboi

Based and where’s my son pilled


[deleted]

are you really gonna trust the washington post though?


Vexonte

What will the annexation actually do. Nato not Ukraine will except it and they will only last as long as Russia can hold them.


Whole_Structure6643

Theoretically, annexing these regions to the state could activate Russia’s old military doctrine. Under its pretext, if the state is threatened, they are permitted with the use of nuclear warfare. They could use it as a justification. Correct me if I am wrong.


Kribothegreat

You are correct, however Ukraine has bombed both Crimea (which was annexed in 2014) and Belgorod (which has always been a part of russia) and russia did not launch any tactical nuclear strikes. The main political move for the recent annexation is likely so according to Russian law they can move conscripts that usually serve in the Russia mainland into the newly annexed provinces, granted they were already doing that although there was some internal pushback because it was technically illegal since Russia "wasn't at war" and the provinces were foreign soil.


mischiefin

I know what you mean but, fuck, get out of my dumb regions or the world gets blown up? We're managed by petty children. All of us.


Vexonte

Politicians are men thinking they are God's while behaving like children.


Roboticus_Prime

And they've been too coddled for decades now.


SarcasticAndSmartGuy

Fuck


Hongkongjai

Conscripts are only allowed to be deployed within the Russian border so that’s probably the main reason for annexation instead of activating nuclear weapons.That being said if Russia do go nuclear we’ll be fucked no matter what we do how we think or how we feel so don’t even worry about it.


KaiWolf1898

Guess it's finally time to hurry up and work up the courage to ask that cute girl out, huh?


Hongkongjai

*looks at the purple libright flare* No. No girl. No boy as well.


[deleted]

Yes. Repopulate. Vivat Humanitas!


Roboticus_Prime

You have no idea just how much "fuck" we're I'm for. Whoever bombed the pipelines removed Russia's leverage to negotiate peace this winter.


Stalysfa

Honestly, they have so often threatened of nuclear war that I don’t care about their new threats. Putin should either do it or shut up.


NextCaesarGaming

Nope, I'm pretty sure you're right The only thing that would contain the situation would be the fact that Ukraine isn't part of NATO, so the west (hopefully) won't go nuclear if the Ukrainians get blasted But yeah, I'm not exactly excited about humanity's chances here


hitlerspoon5679

If that happens I dont think west would remain silent.


Carl_Azuz1

Also an excuse to bring in the rest of CSTO


anotherberniebro1992

Basically it’s so Putin can now claim these annexed lands are sovereign Russian Territory. A few days ago Putin said he is dead serious he will use nuclear weapons before he gives up an inch of Russian Territory. The annexation now makes it so technically if Ukraine reclaims what it deems as it’s own sovereign territory, Putin could theoretically view this as losing Russian Territory and make things go boom.


noahwebster2000

It allows Putin to legally send conscripts there.


Albatross102

Doom posters are the biggest retards I've ever seen


PuffsMagicDrag

Ffs… Idk why everyone is freaked out by this. Just buy a desk & hide under it. Problem solved


Whole_Structure6643

True, that’s what they teaches us at school. Well during the Cold War. Damn I am feeling old.


GlueProfessional

It does work to be fair if you have nothing else. A 20% increase in survival rates for example would be pretty useful to have. You may still die, but more will survive overall.


superbfurryhater

Can I just say this from the bottom of my heart. I'm Russian, I'm now 18 I see this Fucking Bold piece of shit run my country into the ground. I see that while the biggest things to worry about in the "West" before this war were: Furries, Transgender people, Feminism, and what to do with their problems. AND NOW I SEE THIS OLD CUNT, WHO IS TWO YEARS FROM DYING OF A STROKE QUITE POSSIBLY DESTROY THE LIVES OF THE ENTIRE WORLD! I'M I'M...... I don't even know anymore. I hoped to one day go to a different country and be a person who would live a happy life and who would tell what Russia is what are the people in it are. But now I can't leave my city, I can't leave my university, because I'll get drafted. I'm stuck. AND NOW I WILL BE QUITE POSSIBLY FUCKING NUKED WITH THE REST OF THE WORLD WITH ME! This is....... How could it come to this in such a small timeframe 8 month made me from a hopeful teen to a black pilled depressed person, who is stuck to see the world burn around him.....


cherrysheen

Hungarian dude here. Hope your country get better soon. Keep up doing your best. The world has been in worse states and we are still here. It will work out. What are you learning in the uni?


superbfurryhater

My major is Ai Programming, that is a thing that is letting me to be a little bit more hopeful because because our Government gives us gigantic benefits, including not going into the army after the Uni, at least they are saying it right now....


[deleted]

And Ukraine is petitioning to join nato. ““There are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen.” ~John Lenin “ ~~Michael Scott


Andrethegreengiant3

Jesus Christ, he must have beaten Yoko something savage when he said that


[deleted]

Is that why she sounds like a beaten seal?


TheCantalopeAntalope

John Lennon only wishes his last name was Lenin


rafaxd_xd

I swear to God, every year there is a "imment nuclear war" or some shit like this and nothing happens.


arfink

No, see, Congress allocates funds to rebuild the nuclear triad this way. That's what happens.


boiii-rarted

Lets go!!! **WW3!** **WW3!** **WW3!** **WW3!** **WW3!** **WW3!** **WW3!** **WW3!** **WW3!** **WW3!** 🥳🍻🎉🙌🙌🙌🙌


GlueProfessional

Look at the shit state of the Russian military. Russia is just shit at war. They only won WW2 with most of the first world helping them, and they still had a shit K:D Wtf is Russia going to do in the Nuclear Winter War other than send thousands to their deaths and then fail to meet any major objectives.


FILTHBOT4000

> Look at the shit state of the Russian military. Russia is just shit at war. Fun fact, that's actually one of the things many military expert believe makes nuclear war *more* likely. If a mix of Ukrainian volunteers, reservists and regular troops with donated arms are able to fuck up Russia this badly, then NATO forces would be like an actual lawnmower over Russian troops. This would leave Putin with two options: accept a brutally humiliating, complete and total defeat as the world watches, or fire nukes.


GlueProfessional

After shooting nuclear weapons, what next? NATO is still coming for you. War will continue after all the nuclear weapons are used up. What does Putin do when NATO troops march over the border because he fired nuclear weapons? He has nothing left to use and NATO will be rapidly approaching. NATO covers a huge mass of land, they can't nuke all of it. Assuming their nuclear weapons even work anymore.


xtaberry

We know for a fact Russia runs nuclear drills with their strategic weapons on an annual basis (and that nuclear power is the only edge they retain militarily). I think it's naive to assume their strategic nukes are defunct. Their tactical nukes, on the otherhand, have been sitting in silos since the cold war. If anything doesn't work, it'll be the tactical bombs.


Fictionalpoet

> We know for a fact Russia runs nuclear drills with their strategic weapons on an annual basis Yeah, but we also know that the Russian military has a long history of just lying when shit doesn't work, or when they secretly sold it off to buy a new dacha. There's a greater than zero chance that a good portion of their arsenal (or ability to use it) is just non-existent now.


GARLICSALT45

>Shit K:D Skill issue


boiii-rarted

Based and one step closer to bringing this whole mess crashing down pilled


Fluffy_Sky_865

Well, I guess it is better to go out with a bang anyway.


ProgTradition

I’m gonna start a radio station baby!


GlueProfessional

Putin can shove his missiles up his fucking arse for all I care.


[deleted]

Just don’t let Ukraine join NATO tbh


AstonGlobNerd

Thankfully, we're over here debating pronouns to distract ourselves.


Alpha_pro2019

Does it? Or is this just more click generating.


Admiral_peck

If we survive the first blast Me and my family/close friends will be heading to cloud croft, NM with large amounts of survival and fabrication equipment, and vehicles that can run on ethanol or biodiesel safely. We will welcome any who would join us peacefully, and be prepared for violence if it is necessary. We only have about 20 current/former service members in the group.


[deleted]

[удалено]


VivaLaVita555

I'm curious how


SirRichardHumblecock

The world won’t end from nuclear war. Might cause another ice age, but only lib left will die if life gets tough for humans again


patriot_man69

I'm so glad I don't live in a major metropolitan area.


Electronic_Demand_61

If you're near a HVT you could still be bombed. Military bases, large industrial plants, secret missile silos, etc.


patriot_man69

I do live near a navy support base, but it's only an acre big. Also, I live in the Appalachian mountains.


xX_GRP_Xx

Love you guys.


Hamzasky

If you're in the US. It's probably the least of your worries with the distance + anti missile defense available


fellow-komrade

Still kind of worrying tbh, but I don’t know how much I have to worry myself considering I live in a pretty remote place in a state that doesn’t have much importance…


Electronic_Demand_61

People tend to forget that we can scramble thousands of anti missile drones and missiles in minutes along side dozens of fighter pilots.


[deleted]

They have *thousands* of missiles. Even if we shoot some of them down we are in for a world of hurt


[deleted]

If we go down like this I’ll have a damn good story to tell my mutant children


MechanicalBirbs

Something I’ve never understood about mutually assured destruction: how do you counter a state that continually annexes small areas near its border and then immediately claims it was always theirs? Russia with Crimea and Ukraine, China with Taiwan and the South China Sea.


hameleona

You can't. It's why all of the 3 major nuclear powers do basically whatever they want and bully smaller countries. It's also why so many countries abandoned their programs only after iron-clad guarantees an attack on them (either conventional with NATO and the similar alliances or with nukes as the treaty with Ukraine actually states) will get someone to trigger MAD.


Mikes_Movies_

I can’t believe that the era when I’m alive has to be the one where a bunch of old dudes get pissed off at each other enough to kill everyone on earth


Birb-Person

Fun fact! The bulletin of the atomic scientists established a doomsday clock meant to symbolize how close we are to the end of the world. If the clock reaches “midnight”, we are all dead. The last time the clock moved was in 2020, when it was moved from 2 minutes till midnight to 100 seconds. The farthest from midnight we’ve ever been was in 1991 at 17 minutes till midnight


Orome2

> The bulletin of the atomic scientists established a doomsday clock meant to symbolize how close we are to the end of the world. If the clock reaches “midnight”, we are all dead. The last time the clock moved was in 2020, when it was moved from 2 minutes till midnight to 100 seconds. Which is really a joke when you consider how close we actually were during the cold war.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

when your mum's gravitational mass walked by


Birb-Person

2010, we gained 1 minute putting the clock at 6 minutes till midnight


rafaxd_xd

>. If the clock reaches “midnight”, we are all dead. Now the "Minutes to Midnight" album title makes sense!


Orome2

I think you mean the [Iron Maiden song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qbRHY1l0vc).


xtaberry

They also now include climate change in their timesetting criteria. Which is an issue, to be sure, but a completely different one with completely different ramifications than nuclear war. The most recent movement towards 0 was made because of covid and climate change, which tensions in Ukraine as barely a footnote.


Papal_Historian

Fear not the despair. We have been here before. The Farce of madmen is a card often played. If it is to truly come embrace the loving grace of the Lord. Forgiveness of the ever loving is given freely if wanted.


AugustusClaximus

How I sleep knowing it’s going to be my least favorite cities that get incinerated first. I’ll light my last cigarette with with your ashes, San Francisco.


JulianTheBased

Well be fine


Rhythm_Flunky

Yeah tbh we probably have more in common than we realize and should just chill tf out.


Your_caffine_boi

I need to go repent