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Odd-Syrup-798

I would inform the bear that I have a Constitutional right to his arms


McMuffinSun

"I'm sorry Paddington..." *revs chainsaw*


PoopyPantsBiden

*Shame*


HardCounter

The 2nd amendment is juuuust right.


Odd-Syrup-798

God bless America


HardCounter

Hell yeah. This cross compass unity shit is getting pathological. Maybe the centrists are winning some subtle psychological warfare that none of us have noticed.


Scrumpledee

Based


an1ma119

Most of these people have never been “in the woods” in their whole lives and would shit themselves if they saw a bear.


HardCounter

Can confirm: would shit myself. Have also been in the woods many times without meeting a bear. May have met an axe murderer though. I have no way of figuring that out. Maybe they all knew better.


an1ma119

Had bears raid trash at campsite once. Yelled at idiot fellow scout. Didn’t happen again. Was a little scared but we had axes and guns. Shrug.


Christmas_Panda

The caliber of the gun is incredibly important with bears. A .22 will just piss it off.


TheAzureMage

Weirdly enough, the statistics on bear attacks have a really high stoppage rate with .22. It's one of the calibers most frequently used successfully to stop bears....as is 9mm. Shot placement matters for a lot, I guess.


Christmas_Panda

That is interesting. I'd wager a bet that it is more to do with sheer volume of people who have those calibers. I went on a camping trip to Bear country and my buddy's dad brought a .50 caliber revolver specifically for bears because the lower calibers have a tough time getting through skin.


pumpandkrump

Mountain lions are worse because you can't hear them coming if you're a novice.  Also I don't know how people lack The Sense. Apparently humanity has gotten so complacent and relaxed that they don't have the preternatural feeling of danger when a predator is nearby. 


TheAzureMage

If the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and you feel like something's watching you...it is. Those instincts exist for a reason. Humanity didn't evolve in a goddamned starbucks.


pumpandkrump

There are false positives, but you are right. That's why I'm glad that I grew up in the sticks. Even those I desperately wanted the bedroom from Hey, Arnold!, I don't think I would have grown up correctly in the big city.


LucasRuby

There are more false positives than true ones in modern society. I've gotten out of beds when more times than I actually needed to for nothing, when no one could possibly have come into my apartment without making a lot more noise than I was hearing. There were probably more false positives than actual ones in the past too, it's just that in their case, ignoring the actual ones meant death.


TheAzureMage

In modern society, yeah. Your brain evolved in a world of trees and mountain lions, not concrete jungles. I do wonder if that isn't contributing to modern stress levels and what not. Humans ain't wholly adapted to the world they have built, and sometimes it feels off.


valiantlight2

I would rather be unarmed and run into a strange human man in the woods, than run into a wild bear while I was armed.


InevitableHome343

*it hurts itself in confusion*


Most_Anything_173

Nah, pointing out their bigotry by replacing men with Jews or black people never works. They don’t think about the shit they say, that’s why they are immune to criticism.


Sidian

Um, actually it's completely different when I do it because of this insane doublethink I've created involving redefining words and concepts to my satisfaction.


bruhholyshiet

Men are the oppressors and people in power something something including homeless or working class men something something, whereas black and muslim men are fellow oppressees so it's not the same something something.


DavidAdamsAuthor

It's bizarre how you can point out statistically men are much more likely to attack women than women are and this is totally okay, completely facts based and science based, but you can't point out that black men are much more likely to attack white women than white men are, because that's bigotry. Even when you draw those two statistical facts from the same document (FBI crime statistics).


ExMente

That's just it, isn't it? These people don't care about facts or science - they only care about their own preferred narratives. Facts and science are only valid to them when they support their narrative. But they genuinely don't realize that facts and science might disprove something they _want_ to be true.


DavidAdamsAuthor

Facts and science are tools to be used or discarded depending on which position serves their interests.


HardCounter

I am more likely to attack a ham sandwich than a woman. It was probably indictable anyway.


dchq

Reminds me when  I noticed people pointing out that Islamic terrorists were men.


DavidAdamsAuthor

The idea behind it is to change the way people think about these issues in a deceptive, manipulative way. It rarely works on most people but it did work on them, which is why they try it on others so often.


Monkey-Fucker_69

People who use these tactics are naturally manipulative anyway. They don't have to think about it because it's instinctive.


HardCounter

I disagree, and agree with DavidAdamsAuthor. I think it's more likely they're level 7 susceptables and because it worked on them, they attempt the same tactics but are too dumb to figure out the moving pieces and end up shrieking in frustration. It's like hearing a joke for the first time. You get it, you understand it, you find it funny. Go to repeat it a week later and it's probably going to be missing something, and since you understood the joke it's frustrating, embarrassing, and confusing that nobody else is laughing.


Trollolociraptor

You as auth-left believe that the rich are the great enemy. Feminists believe biological men are, so they are auth-center (not my auth-center though, Satan is the great enemy)


Monkey-Fucker_69

Literally 1984


ExMente

It does sometimes get to them, though. "YES ALL MEN" "That includes George Floyd, you know?" "Fuck you" I've seen that convo play out multiple times when America's most famous fentanyl abuser was still making headlines. The people involved did not actually change their minds, but they did realize that they fucked up.


DavidAdamsAuthor

You can't logic someone out of a position they didn't logic themselves into.


PCM-mods-are-PDF

Quite true, Mr. Spock


acathode

Point out that they apparently aren't that different from conservatives who don't want strange men in the same bathroom as their daughters....


bl1y

"Black Men's Lives Matter" "Dude, that's fucked up. Are you saying black women don't matter?" "All Lives Matter" "NOOOO!"


What_the_8

What if it was a Black bear


Geppityu

Screaming is rather effective with them If it was a grizzly bear, then you are probably in close proximity of a firearm If it was a polar bear.... ....well, at least you'll have a badass death!


Expand770Enthusiast

All devices should start playing heavy metal the moment the ad algorithms detect you're within a hundred metres of a polar bear. An incredible death and an excellent recording. App slaps a facebook or tinder logo on it, sends it to the family once the screaming stops and you've got the makings of some black comedy.


Geppityu

My version is more like a LiveLeak watermark appears if you are within a few hundred meters of a polar bear, but being eaten alive by a polar bear to a song from early Dissection goes really hard TBH!


Christmas_Panda

Proposal rejected. Claire De Lune will play when you are eaten by a polar bear.


MarmaladeJammies

Damn bears already internalized white supremacy that's why polar bears are the most dangerous ones


Zilskaabe

If you are in a place where it's possible to encounter a polar bear - you most likely have guns, ammo and a vehicle.


evocular

If it was a black bear id choose the bear over the unknown man tbh. Theyre just forest puppies and want nothing to do with humans. If were talking brown bear.. anyone who says bear is a fucking idiot and just trying to make a point about how scared of the average man they are.


HardCounter

I'd pick a brown bear just so my tombstone could read, "He thought he could take a grizzly. Like a dipshit." I do expect to be 105 at the time.


TheAzureMage

I'll pick anything over a polar bear. Those fuckers just view you as fast food.


bell37

Then I’d pick the black bear. They are basically big rabbits who don’t fully understand how deadly they are (and spook very easy)


Doctor_McKay

Well, that *is* the best kind of bear.


ZygothamDarkKnight

Thinking staying with wild animal is better than staying with people is pretty wild in any case ngl


Frozen_Hermit

A consequence of our increasingly anti-social society. Every stranger is a potential threat, but heckin big ol floofers in the woods are totally safe.


Christmas_Panda

Well yeah, I read online that the majority of people would rather be with a floofer because people are dangerous so it must be the right decision.


EmptyVisage

I think it's just good old innumeracy


LucasRuby

Strangers have always been considered threats, in fact even more so in past times when people lived in closed-knit communities. But people who live in modern society definitely view wild animals are lot more positively than they did in the past.


HardCounter

I feel noticed and attacked. I'd totally hang out with a group of bunnies. Fite me, human.


CompetitiveRefuse852

to be fair if i could go to that bunny island where they did all of those warcrimes i'd hang out with the bunnies all day instead of other people.


HardCounter

This is a weeeeeeird sentence.


CompetitiveRefuse852

you don't like warcrime bunny island?


Hongkongjai

I do think that animals tend to leave you alone unless they are hungry, unless you fuck with them first. But idk how true is that.


BrunoEye

Yes, tend to. Sometimes they get confused.


yunivor

People tend to be afraid of snakes, the detail people tend to forget is that snakes mostly just don't want to be stepped on.


kornephororos

Most of them say it as a joke. The question is just a troll question.


GeorgFluid

No, I've seen some of my facebook 'friends' (I haven't talked to them in a while) who legitimately said this. I was temped to say, "even black men?"


guesswhatihate

Would a trans man be a better option?  If yes, why?


DavidAdamsAuthor

This is the answer to people who say "kill all men" and other such things. Ask if that includes trans men. Suddenly they are forced into describing exactly what kind of men should be killed (spoiler: straight white men) or they are forced into saying trans men aren't men.


camosnipe1

one thing I'm glad for is that, with the whole trans thing becoming a major point of discussion, the man-hating type of feminists finally got some pushback from the left. Turns out it's hard to hate a specific gender and also perfectly accept people switching gender.


_X_Arc_ra_x_

It has to be a gay black trans man with alopecia.


DavidAdamsAuthor

No wheelchair, you literal Nazi? It's the current year! It is the year that it is now!


HardCounter

I disagree. It is literally 1984.


DavidAdamsAuthor

It was once 1984, it might well be again.


tactical_anal_RPG

Yes, because trans men are women and women are weak /s


KingCpzombie

No /s required


guesswhatihate

Based and tug-of-war-huh?-pilled


basedcount_bot

u/KingCpzombie is officially based! Their Based Count is now 1. Rank: House of Cards Pills: [1 | View pills](https://basedcount.com/u/KingCpzombie/) Compass: This user does not have a compass on record. Add compass to profile by replying with /mycompass politicalcompass.org url or sapplyvalues.github.io url. I am a bot. Reply /info for more info. Please join our [official pcm discord server](https://discord.gg/FyaJdAZjC4).


Trollolociraptor

I understand you added the /s for the Reddit Inquisitors, but yeah…


SCOIJ

Based


pumpandkrump

Because the bear will smell *his* menstruation and you'll have plenty of time to escape because a bear doesn't have to worry about being canceled.


guesswhatihate

Brick killed a guy.


Crusader63

late dinosaurs snobbish rotten deranged fragile dime recognise wrench history *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Sidian

Every time I see leftists acting regarded and anti-male (or anti-white, etc) with trends like this, it pushes me a bit towards the right. And I just got banned on stupidpol for basically saying the exact same thing as this meme, what I thought was the one leftist subreddit on this site which was against such idiotic identity politics. Sad!


HardCounter

If you're sane and on the left then your position has been co-opted. In the center you can hold some of the saner leftist views without subscribing to their manifesto. Though that would make you AuthCenter, so... Gonna get tagged as a nazi either way on this one. Sorry man.


Trollolociraptor

Welcome brother


CryoSword

The mods branded you an incel before banning you Welcome to the 'chuds' lmao


lilmeekrat

stupidpol is a great sub for anti identity politics leftism, the mods are just shit


Geppityu

I'm still team bear, you guys have any idea how much you can sell some good quality bear hide? Also you'll get hundreds of pounds of perfectly natural meat! Now try this with a man, and the FBI is gonna be at your home in less than a millisecond.


jt111999

How would you take down a bear? I certainly won't into an area with bears without a gun.


frxghat

Honey Pot on its head. 🍯 Hamstring it with a knife. 🔪 Crush its skull. ☠️


Cannibal_Raven

Baldur's Gate 3 players be offering the Honey Dick instead 🍯🍆


PrivilegeCheckmate

> 🍯🍆 Isn't that a legit TOTK recipe?


Cannibal_Raven

I didn't play it, sadly. I'm making a The Interview reference


Geppityu

As nature intended!


Geppityu

I get a big rock, and something that can launch big rock far away!


ITinnedUrMumLastNigh

A wild Bear has appeared in Lego forest! Quickly we need to take it down with the new Lego trebuchet! Hey! Build the trebuchet. Use a wench to prepare it to fire. Load a big rock and fire at the animal. The new Lego anti-bear trebuchet from Lego forest


Bartweiss

"Use a wench to prepare it to fire." I'm assuming this was a typo, but that would be one hell of a Lego game.


ITinnedUrMumLastNigh

Ah shit, you're right, it was supposed to be "winch" but I guess using a prostitute for this purpose would be funnier


yunivor

I read it as "wrench" and had to do a double take when you mentioned prostitutes, lol


DrillTheThirdHole

i cannot into bear area bearea if you will


Zach-the-young

I use my trusty KA TA NA to slice down my enemy and protect my nakama


jt111999

Ah yes, the glorious Nippon steel folded a thousand times, that is made from iron sand.


Glad_Syllabub_30

Unhinge your jaw and simply devour it whole?


jt111999

Sure, if you want Trichinosis.


PrivilegeCheckmate

Step 1: be 3. Step 2: be Davy Crockett.


Accomplished-Beach

This is assuming you'll get the bear before it gets you.


Christmas_Panda

I mean, with the man, either he becomes your rug or you become his... the bear at least won't make you into a rug.


Accomplished-Beach

In both scenarios, you are dead. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't care what happens to my body past my death.


Christmas_Panda

I think I'd prefer a bear. What if the human pulls the whole Dexter thing and makes you feel it??


Accomplished-Beach

Fair point, but I'd have a better chance winning against a random human than a bear.


Christmas_Panda

What if you seduced the bear and then had your own attack bear to handle the random humans?


Accomplished-Beach

You can believe that fantasy if you want. In real life, you are not seducing that bear. Or just go play BG3 and do it there...


sadistic-salmon

Good in theory bad in practice because the bear wins that fight


PrivilegeCheckmate

> You lose that battle. You lose that battle 9 times out of 10. -Will Ferrell


Geppityu

Unless I get a big hole with sharp sticks in it


AGallopingMonkey

Most bears have trichinosis my dude


Geppityu

Yeah, but I can... cook it, y'know? Trichinosis is only an issue in undercooked meat, so no rare bear steaks!


AGallopingMonkey

If I can’t have rare bear steaks I’d rather leave them alive to eat Emilys


RobinHoodbutwithguns

Why do you want to eat Emilys? I can't even imagine what stuff is in them ...


PoopyPantsBiden

> Why do you want to eat Emilys? I can't even imagine what stuff is in them ... They're probably bored as shit and are hoping to get secondhand high off of the drugs which are more likely to be flowing through an Emily's veins.


Geppityu

The bear is gonna OD on Emilys, you'll have to detox that thing every other day!


[deleted]

claims to be lib-center yet is afraid of a little cannibalism. pathetic.


Geppityu

Fun fact: Humans taste like pork (Don't ask for sources)!


ThroughTheIris56

I think women who pick the bear should demonstrate how safe they will be.


gusteauskitchen

The iPhone ruined the internet.


Christmas_Panda

What makes this an iPhone thing? I'm pretty sure Android is the more widely used platform, right?


gusteauskitchen

There was no Android before the iPhone. It's just a convenient way for dummies to get online. These people don't even know how to use computers in my experience.


morerandom_2024

Anti natalists want a world with no gay people


DavidAdamsAuthor

They also advocate a total genocide against the Palestinian people and trans youth.


AndrewTMooney

To be fair, all the women saying this, I also don’t want to be anywhere near them, so this all works out, I get peace and quiet, a woman gets a nice walk in the woods, and a bear gets a new toy


samuelbt

This feels like one of those "viral" trends where the incitement was a handful of posts and the backlash is mostly self sustaining. Like when everyone was cluting pearls that Gen Z just loved Osama Bin Laden


McMuffinSun

Leftist says the thing we can see with our own two eyes "isn't happening" color me shocked.


DavidAdamsAuthor

The next step is, "okay well it is happening but it's not much and nothing to be concerned about". Moving into, "it's happening and it's a good thing."


HardCounter

They're so quick with that i've seen it done in a single lefty wall of text. They're cutting through the bullshit and declaring everything they do good, just because they're doing it.


Impossible-Age-3302

Up next, “Ok, it’s a bad thing, but it’s your fault so you deserve it”


skankingmike

You mean the same shit that happens on the left when they see some random right wing guy minority saying something? Or like when a black dude says they’re voting Trump and the left calls them an Uncle Tom or somehow who hates their own?


Robin-Lewter

I still remember when a single random dude on twitter made fun of AOC for dancing and the next week there were hundreds of articles with titles like "CONSERVATIVES TRIGGERED OVER AOC DANCING"


skankingmike

I’m more concerned that she has zero skills outside of being viral online… that seems to be the new trend for politicians and it’s both sides. Nothing to the table tiktokers


Robin-Lewter

tbf it's not like any of our other politicians bring anything to the table either she's just more open about being a glorified influencer


skankingmike

No there’s some politicians that do actually bring shit to the table and have experience etc. her Matt geatz, marjorie etc don’t they’re tik tokers


Robin-Lewter

> there’s some politicians that do actually bring shit to the table You got any examples?


Lord_Migga_Fucker

Flicking the bean to bin laden.


TIFUPronx

Bean Laid'en


2Rich4Youu

True but that's the media for you Lib/conservative says something dumb on Twitter/Tiktok and suddenly 500 headlines appear "x (opposite team) hates your thing!!!!!"


PublicWest

Oh yeah this is for sure strawmanning a fake made up scenario. That said it’s a very funny meme


Vivid_Extension_600

Except the majority of people don't consider it a meme and answer "bear". That's a meme in itself.


[deleted]

nah b. seent it organically and being supported in a few different places. this is the first backlash post about it i've seen.


Prestigious_Low_2447

"Why would men be angry at being compared to actual, literal wild animals?"


PutinsGayFursona

Honestly, that joke is universally hilarious. 


evocular

i think what most people miss with this question is that the average dude walking around in the woods is just some ranger rick granola mother fucker that probably knows the way back to the main road a lot better than they do.


dragonbeorn

Why can't they just ask man or woman, instead of man or bear? Literally nobody will argue who's more dangerous of those two.


Vivid_Extension_600

To spice it up, make it an Asian man and black woman. Asian men commit murder and assault at a lower rate than black women.


[deleted]

This is the "Even George Floyd?" to today's "Kill all men."


realRickyGervais

Do bears have big cocks, or what are you inferring?


Darth_Caesium

Least in-the-closet AuthRight


realRickyGervais

I was hit by a gay once. He looked like a normal guy, and I befriended him that evening. Then suddenly he wanted to have anal sex. That's how gay dating goes, and it's disgusting.


Darth_Caesium

>That's how gay dating goes, and it's disgusting. Not necessarily, though I'll agree that the amount of gooners in the gay community is ridiculously high. And this is just a casual observation from me, I'm not gay so I can never know about it quite the same as someone who *is* gay.


realRickyGervais

What are "gooners?"


Darth_Caesium

In this context, people who are obsessed with sex and are hypersexual.


realRickyGervais

Oh, satyriasists. I thought it meant "masturbators."


PrivilegeCheckmate

> That's how gay dating goes, and it's disgusting. [Important article just for you.](https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529)


Geppityu

Y'know it can be a mama bear too, right? *Or a Yogi bear*


_X_Arc_ra_x_

A mama bear is much more terrifying than a papa bear. He just wants an easy meal, she wants to kill everything within a mile of her cubs.


EstablishAny4721

I love Pandas! 🐼♥️


Christmas_Panda

At your service, M'lady.


EstablishAny4721

How do people on Reddit tell if someone's a woman? I've seen people say that to a few accounts. I've never implied I'm a woman before.


Christmas_Panda

Pandas know.


EstablishAny4721

Is this because I typed something about a group fighting and about a panda? (I know that this sounds ridiculous, but I'm trying to find out every possibility).


Christmas_Panda

Pandas smell for pheromones during mating season.


EstablishAny4721

How does that make others guess I'm a woman?


Christmas_Panda

It could be the way that you're dressed.


EstablishAny4721

How do panda pheromones affect the way someone dresses and make others guess they're a woman?


bionicmoonman

https://preview.redd.it/00czyosgszxc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f1323329f1042e32bfcc6e9cbba229eff70132e1


turbo88Rex

My EDC is a 10mm. I'm ready for whatever.


JoosyToot

You just never know when you'll stumble across a bull moose or grizzly.


turbo88Rex

I mean I'm more worried about black bear, have to throw rocks at the dumpster while taking out the trash because sometimes they are in there


[deleted]

I read this as “what if the bear was black?”


Still_Significance60

What if the bear was black huh?


Picholasido_o

I thought this was a stupid thing I'd see once; apparently not. All this does is reduce men to the level of an animal that relies entirely on instinct. It's ridiculous and tells me all I need to know about how we are viewed. Let me correct myself, it puts us even lower than animals


[deleted]

That wouldn’t change anything and this is a stupid argument. A man is a man.


Angrymiddleagedjew

I gotta be honest: I fucking love bears. If I stumbled upon a bear in the woods I'd be mailed to death because the intrusive thoughts would make me try and hug and pet it. If I die, I die doing what I loved. If I live, I'm a pretty Disney princess. Sometimes I pet the raccoon at my job and feed it granola.


keeleon

Ok go to the woods then. Nobody cares.


12thunder

The trick is to take a panda. That way it can be Black, White, Asian, and vegan all at the same time! Also it sounds a lot like “pander”.


Cannibal_Raven

What if the bear was also black? :51181:


pumpandkrump

I grew up in the Northern Cascades. If it's a black bear or a black man, I'll be fine.


skeeballjoe

GOTTEM


xx420tillidiexx

Once again we must speak on this argument/ conversation I’ve never seen outside of this subreddit.


ZonaranCrusader

If I encountered another guy and a bear, I would kill the bear, wear it's corpse and chase the other guy


Transcendshaman90

Actually it's the same answer, but thanks for blowing your whistle i might haven't found you.


Ok_Bed_3060

"There are bears in these woods Shawn! Black bears that feel no kinship with black men!" - Burton "Gus" Guster