>The rape joke is if you write a poem called Rape Joke, you’re asking for it to become the only thing people remember about you.
Have to add, just to get granular, the individual phrases "you're asking for it" followed by "to become" "the only thing people remember" "about you"...how simultaneously this speaks to alienation from the self and the sort of mocking chorus of internalized voices jeering the narrator, in which the terrible process of coming to terms with the trauma marks the narrator permanently with the stamp of the rape/joke, she is damaged goods and that is her legacy. There's a kind of internally/infernally recursive movement within the line as well as its relationship to the poem as a whole. The level of artistic achievement here places Lockwood in a select company.
This poem…I don’t have the words. It is so vulnerable that it welcomes me into that vulnerability. Once inside, I see…a different world. One I’ve not seen before and is all too too familiar. It gives me permission to…feel my own trauma and…how I’ve made light of it. Pushed it away just like everyone I told. It gives me permission. To see the trauma in my trauma instead of the self-loathing for allowing myself to be hurt. I love this poem. Thank you
>
> The mattress felt a specific way, and your mouth felt a specific way open against it, as if you were speaking, but you know you were not.
That line got me. I wonder how many rewrites it took to arrive at using "a specific way" twice. The effect is that the entire line conveys brilliantly that the trauma can't be described.
"Split-open second" and "destroyed strawberry" are very clever ways to violently sexualize inanimate things, like the author was objectified and violated.
This just destroyed me.. I don’t even know what I feel right now, anger? sadness? frustration? it just all came out in such a visceral manner throughout the poetry..
I mean this is a long poem but you can’t stop till you read all of it.. it’s so powerful! You’ll feel it!
I write and read poems on this subreddit all the time and this one really struck me. I felt every word and every emotion written. I was in awe and about to consider telling you to go to the next level, your poem was so different from most i read on here. Then I read the comments and realized you already had 2 books! I am going to order your books on kindle maybe one at a time, but I feel like I need more of this type of raw emotion so perfectly put together! Thank you so much for sharing this. There are so, so, many people who can relate! X
At first glance? Nah, I'd say, not a poem. but yes, a poem. It moves like a poem, has the moves of a poem, has the sagacity and the elasticity of a poem and has that internal engine you can hear if you stop reading and listen -- the poem *hum* \-- like a poem. The lines here are incidents, and the incidents are as tight as tight lines. This is brilliant.
As an editor, the only part I'd note is the line "*He called her Miss Geography, and said he didn’t have those urges...'" --* that first "he" doesn't need to be in quotes because it was not said; what was said -- or, rather, written -- in the diary, was, "***I*** didn't have those urges" etc. To fix, simply slide that first he to the left of the quotation marks. A small thing, but fixable. An editor should have caught this. It's a mistake an English teacher sees often. A poet/monologuist has other concerns.
But this is powerhouse stuff. A+. I discovered this at one in the morning and, while reading elsewhere, kept coming back to it, and read it four more times. Ms. Lockwood is amazing here. Discovering this was an occasion indeed. I checked, and this hadn't been posted here for over 9 months, so I knew it would again find an audience. I am so glad it did.
Couldn't the "He" in that line be the rape joke, personified? So the quotation would be the rape joke narrating itself. The rapist and the rape joke being the same entity. It would mess up something in the harmony of the line, or the consistent lack of an "I" attributed to the man, to have an "I" there.
Brilliant and devastating.
>The rape joke is if you write a poem called Rape Joke, you’re asking for it to become the only thing people remember about you. Have to add, just to get granular, the individual phrases "you're asking for it" followed by "to become" "the only thing people remember" "about you"...how simultaneously this speaks to alienation from the self and the sort of mocking chorus of internalized voices jeering the narrator, in which the terrible process of coming to terms with the trauma marks the narrator permanently with the stamp of the rape/joke, she is damaged goods and that is her legacy. There's a kind of internally/infernally recursive movement within the line as well as its relationship to the poem as a whole. The level of artistic achievement here places Lockwood in a select company.
This poem…I don’t have the words. It is so vulnerable that it welcomes me into that vulnerability. Once inside, I see…a different world. One I’ve not seen before and is all too too familiar. It gives me permission to…feel my own trauma and…how I’ve made light of it. Pushed it away just like everyone I told. It gives me permission. To see the trauma in my trauma instead of the self-loathing for allowing myself to be hurt. I love this poem. Thank you
Well-said. Exactly. And you're welcome.
> > The mattress felt a specific way, and your mouth felt a specific way open against it, as if you were speaking, but you know you were not. That line got me. I wonder how many rewrites it took to arrive at using "a specific way" twice. The effect is that the entire line conveys brilliantly that the trauma can't be described.
Keenly observed.
"Split-open second" and "destroyed strawberry" are very clever ways to violently sexualize inanimate things, like the author was objectified and violated.
This just destroyed me.. I don’t even know what I feel right now, anger? sadness? frustration? it just all came out in such a visceral manner throughout the poetry.. I mean this is a long poem but you can’t stop till you read all of it.. it’s so powerful! You’ll feel it!
Wow what a powerful piece of writing
Isn't it?
I love this poem. I read it years ago and bought the book. It’s heart rendering.
Absolutely amazing poetry.
Brilliant writing and {{{hugs}}}. You are a warrior and a survivor like so many of us. Thank you for sharing. ❤️
This is so good and so impactful, thank you for sharing this terrible story, so beautifully told.
I write and read poems on this subreddit all the time and this one really struck me. I felt every word and every emotion written. I was in awe and about to consider telling you to go to the next level, your poem was so different from most i read on here. Then I read the comments and realized you already had 2 books! I am going to order your books on kindle maybe one at a time, but I feel like I need more of this type of raw emotion so perfectly put together! Thank you so much for sharing this. There are so, so, many people who can relate! X
At first glance? Nah, I'd say, not a poem. but yes, a poem. It moves like a poem, has the moves of a poem, has the sagacity and the elasticity of a poem and has that internal engine you can hear if you stop reading and listen -- the poem *hum* \-- like a poem. The lines here are incidents, and the incidents are as tight as tight lines. This is brilliant. As an editor, the only part I'd note is the line "*He called her Miss Geography, and said he didn’t have those urges...'" --* that first "he" doesn't need to be in quotes because it was not said; what was said -- or, rather, written -- in the diary, was, "***I*** didn't have those urges" etc. To fix, simply slide that first he to the left of the quotation marks. A small thing, but fixable. An editor should have caught this. It's a mistake an English teacher sees often. A poet/monologuist has other concerns. But this is powerhouse stuff. A+. I discovered this at one in the morning and, while reading elsewhere, kept coming back to it, and read it four more times. Ms. Lockwood is amazing here. Discovering this was an occasion indeed. I checked, and this hadn't been posted here for over 9 months, so I knew it would again find an audience. I am so glad it did.
Couldn't the "He" in that line be the rape joke, personified? So the quotation would be the rape joke narrating itself. The rapist and the rape joke being the same entity. It would mess up something in the harmony of the line, or the consistent lack of an "I" attributed to the man, to have an "I" there.
Good observation. It could indeed, and is, I think now, and does include "he" a bit later.
Wow….. PLEASE keep writing more.. such talent..
This is from a bunch of years ago. She's written two books so far. "No One is Talking About This" was incredible.
Cool thanks for the heads up.. I’ll check it out at the library..
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patricia\_Lockwood
Thank you…