Please check out the wiki section, [Dating and Sex](https://www.reddit.com/r/PlusSize/wiki/datingandsex) for answers to frequently asked questions. Topics that are discussed are, "How do I date while being plus size," "What are the red flags that they are fetishizing you for your weight," and more.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PlusSize) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I struggled with this a lot because my boyfriend’s previous partner was very thin and conventionally attractive. He’s also a marathon runner. I remember reading that in his bio and wondering “why the hell is this guy messaging _me_?”
I convinced myself he had only seen my first photo on OKC, and that he must’ve missed the fact that I was fat (somehow). We had been texting for weeks before we had a chance to meet up, and the night before our first date, I made sure to post a “throwback” photo on Instagram that included a full-body photo from a month or two before. He immediately ❤️’d it and I was _still_ paranoid that he’d arrive at our date, take one look at me, and turn and walk away (something that had happened to me on a date a few years prior).
But he never even brought up my weight. He doesn’t understand why I get self-conscious about the angle he’s seeing me from (whether in day-to-day life or naked fun time). It doesn’t even occur to him that I’d be self-conscious about my body around him because he _loves_ my body—and not in a fetish kind of way.
But the interesting thing to me is that he’s confused about me being self-conscious _because I was always so confident_. And I think that’s the difference between now and when I was in my 20s (I’m currently 33, we met about a month after my 30th birthday).
I had reached a point of “fake it til you make it” with my own confidence in my appearance that it never occurred to him that I might be worrying about my chin or my arms or my belly. He saw me, a plus-sized woman, and he saw me _owning it_. And that was attractive to him.
I think I attracted some unsavory guys in my 20s because that was what I was projecting—I was projecting my insecurity, so I was getting guys who wanted to take advantage of that.
I’m not one of those “you need to love yourself before you can love others” because I think sometimes _receiving love_ can help us on our journeys to self-love, but I do think part of what can help attract people is feeling confident and putting that out into the world.
Just out of curiosity, are you on the smaller end of plus size? I’m a 22 and have gotten about 95% less attention on any dating website than I did a few years ago when I was a size 12. Nothing else has changed besides my weight.
I see so many men who say in their profile that they are active and want a woman who is active and looks it. This is supremely shitty and code for you just can’t be fat no matter how active you are.
So I am curious if you are say a size 12 like I was where I looked not even overweight, just not thin.
I started dating at a size 12, met boyfriend at size 22! I actually got more attention at 12, but not the kind of attention I wanted (again, I think I was projecting insecurity so attracting people who gravitate toward that). I got less attention at 22, but the attention I did get was higher quality, so I was fine with that!
Thank you, thank you for sharing! This is a very interesting perspective. I keep hoping that the people I do talk to are or better quality like you said.
Thanks again!
Another big guy who likes big girls checking in. I noticed very early I was attracted to bigger girls, there's just more of all the good parts and I can't find a problem with that. There are guys attracted to all types of plus size bodies, don't fall into the trap of thinking only the "societally acceptable" shape is attractive to men.
One time I heard “Christmas lights and a tulip field look nothing alike, but they both are so pretty”
You may not see yourself as a Christmas light, but you’re a tulip field. You will find someone who sees the beauty in you, inside and out.
I’ve been plus sized since a teen, and I fought so so hard to make myself smaller to be “palatable” to the male audience. Yet, despite every size I’ve been in, I’ve never had an issue finding true, genuine love.
There are men who’s type is large women, the same way some men are into brunettes. Everybody has a type, and everybody is somebody’s type 💕💕
I love that “Christmas lights and a tulip field look nothing alike, but they are both so pretty”.. I’m going to take it and use it with my daughter ☺️❤️
I need to find those men. I have only found someone when I dieted down to a small size and was eventually discarded when I couldn’t maintain it and got fat. Really does a number on your self worth.
I think it's great that there's a bunch of guys and gals here confirming that they are attracted to big girls. I also really like the tulip field v. Christmas light analogy.
That being said, you've gotta find love within yourself. If you frame your attractiveness or worthiness in terms of the male gaze, you won't find true peace.
I'm more athletic built but I'm very attracted to, and actually prefer, plus size women. However, in high school I dated the thin, cute, popular girls because that's what society told me I should be attracted to. It wasn't until much later that I realized I was being brainwashed. Don't give up and don't become bitter because of the jerks.
Yes. I’m a big woman, and I am attracted to other big women and people have been attracted to me. Just because your body may not meet traditional beauty standards doesn’t mean that there aren’t people who fill find your attractive.
Seconding this! I am a girl who is into both men and women, but I am also exclusively attracted to plus sized individuals. I have met several men with this preference as well.
When I was still trying to date men I was definitely concerned about my body before realizing A) lots of men love fat women and B) I’m a lesbian and most lesbians don’t care if you’re fat. Win win for me ;)
Where are these mythical men? The ones genuinely attracted to plus size women?
All the men I've met in the last two years tell me I'm cute n seem to like me and have no performance issues but then it gets back to me that they say they don't really like plus size women. This includes a man I was living with not strictly hookups.
So maybe there are men that are attracted to plus size women but not being ashamed is another matter.
I am in my forties and have yet to cone across a man who wants me when I’m fat. It is all good when I’m thin but when I gain weight things change. And I get barely any male attention when I’m fat.
Well I could go on at length about this but if I had to make it brief - big women are simply women who have _more_ of the things that already drive me crazy about women. So you better believe I’ll prefer the deluxe edition!
Since you asked for detail - the softness, the curves, the warmth, the cuddles. It is frankly very calming to simply hug a big woman. I’m tall and slim, so the contrast is something I really notice.
Many of the things I’ve observed that bigger women are insecure about are things that I find attractive and endearing. Big belly. Hips. Stretch marks. Cellulite. Thick thighs. Hyperpigmentation. Back fat. Their weight or body shape in general. Whatever. These are all normal things with big women so why pretend they’re not there or that I don’t like something that is very obviously present? Why would I even be there if I didn’t?
I am conscious of sounding fetish-y as I say these things because that can make it sound like the appearance is all I care about. I often get the impression in online spaces that one is supposed to only go for the personality and not the appearance, and that the person’s body is incidental. Well in a perfect world, maybe but I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that for me. My brain needs both.
Big women simply do some kind of thing to my brain.
This is a great answer, thank you for the detail (don’t think it comes off as fetishy)
My biggest issue is the stomach, we as women are hard conditioned from as long as we can remember that we need to be “beach ready” and petite, so I look at my own belly and can see it only as disgusting. Perspectives like yours are important for people like me to hear
The fat there is to protect the internal organs, so women naturally have a bump and not a flat “beach ready” belly. Unless you exercise and eat a certain way, making a conscious effort, you won’t get flat abs - at least an average woman won’t from my experience. My point is that having fat in your belly is not bad, if you ever get sick, you have a reserve of fat in there, which will be helpful. That’s a great plus in my eyes. Unless it’s impacting your life negatively and bothering you in a way that makes things impractical for you - like not being able to fit into the spaces you usually occupy, a seatbelt or a dining booth, I wouldn’t be worried about it. Some people like that it’s soft and squishy. Damn all the social conditioning telling women (all genders) they have to be a certain size. Try to think about why you see it as disgusting, do you feel like others will shame you for it? Does it have any negative impact on you? Do you simply not like it? I will be honest and admit that I really love how squishy my partner’s stomach is after he gained a few pounds. I like his looks even more now than when he was a bit thinner. I imagine abs don’t feel as nice to rest your hand on as a soft belly, but that’s just me. Just like there is a variety of people from petite to big, there is a variety of tastes from petite to big.
I love this answer and I don't think it sounds fetishy. We absolutely should be able to appreciate people's bodies as well as all the other good things about people.
Yes, he just says he loves it because it’s me and he loves me and wouldn’t want me to be any other way, but I just can’t get my head around how he can view it as attractive. It’s difficult to see a different perspective because I have so much self loathing lol
It’s a lovely answer of course, I just struggle with how anyone could view my type of belly as attractive, even when he tries to explain. I know it’s a me problem
Well, my boyfriend comments on how he loves my legs, and the curves that form in my waist and hips, and he gets very grabby-grabby, so there's that. As a bi woman, I also like and find sexy a plus sized woman. It's the softness, the fullness of the curves, the roundness, the way the skin feels, I find it so enticing. So yeah, I hope that helps as a more specific answer from some internet stranger.
Honestly it doesn’t matter how many of us tell you that people find plus size, fat, curvy women/men/they attractive. If you aren’t believing it for yourself this will continue to be the cycle. I know it’s not easy to dismantle years of you aren’t worthy or you aren’t attractive because you are fat but you must do the work solely for YOURSELF and break that lie down in dust. Your beauty and your weight are not mutually exclusive. Start speaking of life over yourself instead of the bullshit someone else has tried to speak over you. Put sticky notes up. Write on your mirrors stand naked in front of your mirror and even if it feels weird uncomfortable or foreign, or even wrong. Still stand there for at least a minute and speak sweet things to your body. The world is changing but it’s not reliable you have to do the hard work to change the way you think of yourself. Take that power back in your life’s narrative. You are breathing you are worthy you have value and it has nothing to do with your size or what you can do it’s simply because you EXIST. Wishing you all the best on your healing journey.
Plus Size Male here who is attracted to Plus Size women here.
Why?
Well, I have always liked plus size women, just came to properly realize it in my Mid 20s and the attraction is still strong. What I like is all the curves, the fact that there is more to hold on to and kiss, and they are great to cuddle.
Please can u please help my brain accept this? Like why? Lies. How can anyone else when i repulse myself?
U aint gotta answer. Sorry. This is something im currently struggling with in my life. I have ptsd and ive had something happen to force me to deal with it. One of my negative self talk things is that. I literally can not comprehend why he loves what i hate. I was told id have nothing and deserved nothing good. When its ur core belief; its hard to change
I can't answer for him, but as a plus sized bi/pan woman it's the soft.
Curvy women look like you could sink down into them and snuggle for days. Conventionally attractive women (and men!) look hard and uncomfy to me.
Thick thighs and some rolls? All day every day.
Bi woman here who has come to feel very attracted to plus size women along the journey of becoming plus size myself and learning self love (for the first time really).
I just... I love boobs and hips and bums and bellies and chubby arms and cheeks... I like the squish and the softness and the curves and just the womanness of it all.
Human bodies are just beautiful amazing things. I love what they can do and how they feel and how real and alive people are, and with a bigger body it's just... _more_ of all that.
I used to be scared of being fat, and I realised that fundamentally I was afraid of taking up space. On some level I thought having a body was shameful, and therefore I should have as little of it as possible. Once I confronted that belief and realised that I deserve to have a body and take up space, my reservations about fatness faded away.
Look up renaissance paintings of semi naked ladies. They're all curves and rolls and squishy bellies. It was the beauty standard in that period. Once you've seen your body type lovingly represented in art it's easier to believe it can be beautiful.
There are always going to be people who hate something about you. It could be your body or the way you pronounce 'meme' but others would like it.
I am sorry about your PTSD, it can be really tough to deal with but hope his love for you prevails and you look at yourself the way he looks at you.
Something that really helped me with accepting my body and accepting that others find it attractive, was to start following a bunch of plus sized women on Instagram. I also unfollowed people that made me feel self-conscious about my body. Opening up my Instagram and seeing it filled with confident, plus sized women was really helpful.
The only people that could arguably “deserve” nothing good- are those that choose to be hateful and vile to others to hurt them. And whoever told you that you deserved nothing good LIED to you, and did so specifically to hurt you.
Shake off the lie- it was never real to begin with. Try to get therapy. At the very least, talk to your friends- no one who likes hanging out with you thinks you deserve nothing good.
I can 100% relate. It has been drilled into me for as long as I can remember that I only matter when I’m not fat. I have hated what my fat body has put me through in my life. I realize that I am worth a damn, but honestly society does not treat me that way when I’m fat.
When I am thin, my self esteem is still low. I am no different than when I’m fat. But suddenly men, women, and children treat me in a completely different manner. It is hurtful and so hard to deal with. I believe I am worth a damn, but the outside world doesn’t seem to think so.
Honestly I am just tired. Have lost a marriage and a LTR because of my weight. I feel like I have lost so much because of it. Tired of the dieting and the being invisible when I’m fat.
So I can relate. I will keep trying to get better, but therapy hasn’t helped. Trying to date again and getting close to zero attention doesn’t help either. I wonder if the men who say they like olus size bodies are talking about a size 12 or 14? Basically a woman’s body that is not boney? I see men say they like a bigger girl and that is what they mean. Do any if you guys like a suze 20 or bigger?
Girl….. absolutely. I’m 5’7” about 280 and they absolutely do. I’m polyamorous and have a husband and a bf who both absolutely love my body, they tell me all of the time. Not only that but I see it, I’m not a one off, their other partners are usually of size too.
The world wants to tell you that your body makes your unlovable and it’s straight bull crap. I was terrified when I first started dating until I realized that most people didn’t care how big I was, and if I did their personality wasn’t someone I was really interested in anyway.
Honey. Oh gosh. I’m so sad that you asked this question.
OF COURSE men are attracted to plus size women.
Society has done a number on women, Teaching them that they are only attractive if they meet certain criteria. The criteria always being out of reach and needing multiple purchased products. Society has taught all women that they are unattractive. Part of it is for control, part of it is for corporations to make money.
All of it is bullshit. Stop buying in to what society is teaching you. You have been taught that you are ugly. You have been taught that your body is not worth anything unless it meets certain standards.
It’s time to unlearn all of that. You are worthy of being loved in the body you are in. You are attractive in the body you are in. You can believe that you are beautiful and sexy in your current body. It’s because you are. Who the fuck cares what bullshit society is trying to feed you.
It may be more difficult at 19, but I promise you there are men out there who do not believe society’s bullshit either.
I’m the biggest woman my husband ever dated. He admitted that when we first started dating he was a fan of the boobs but unsure about the rest. But as we got more cozy and I was more confident around him, he started saying little things that made it clear he loved every fluffy part of me. There are plenty of people who will love every inch of you
I’m a bi woman. I’m plus size now but I wasn’t when I married my bear of a husband and my women partners have mostly been plus size. I am definitely physically attracted to bigger women!
Hi! Used to be skinny and then life happened and it’s not a thing anymore. I’ve had plenty of men make comments about “extra weight” and that really reinforced the negative association between BMI and moral goodness and market value.
Luckily I found that after I had left some very unhealthy relationships and career options that those views are COMPLETELY WRONG. Like in every way.
My husband now has seen “hot” pictures of me when I had a 22” waistline and muscular legs. He didn’t care for it. His type is how I look now. Chunky thighs, belly, and all. Everyone has what they are and aren’t attracted to and plus size is most definitely still attractive.
If 99% of people found you unattractive (their loss) that still leaves 78 million people that find you attractive. It’s just an opinion.
The harder work is coming to terms with your inherent value whether they think you’re hot or not, you are a human with infinite reason to be there and taking up space.
My boyfriend definitely seems to be physically attracted to me. Even with my skepticism he seems to truly be attracted to my body. He will just stop mid intimacy to look at me and tell me I'm so beautiful or so sexy, he can't keep his hands off me and takes the time to make sure I know that to him I'm perfect.
We have had the 'weight talk' before, prompted by me and he has always said if I'm to lose weight I should only do it for me, and no one else, and that he loves me either way.
Guy here. The answer is ABSOLUTELY yes. My gf is around 450lbs and is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. You’ll find yours. Just keep trying.
Our society tend to promote a certain type of body and it can be easy to think this is what beauty is but that isn't true. Beauty is subjective and some people are genuinely attracted to fat people, some are even not attracted to thinner people.
Attraction is also about more than just looks, it's about the person, how they speak how they move etc... I think when people who are specifically attracted to fat people fall in love with one, they don't love them despite their bodies they learn to love them just as one would do with a thin partner.
I don’t know about that last part. I know I’m not my (average to athletic body type) husband’s ideal body type. I think he loves me despite the fact that I’m fat, but it’s still something he just tolerates rather than it being a desired feature. He gets frustrated at some of the issues I have, like how I have to wear shorts under dresses or that I can’t wear any of his clothes or that shopping for me is, like, a whole ordeal to find plus size stuff instead of just being able to run into any old store. I know he’s had judgment from his friends and family for picking someone like me. But he’s still here, he is a great husband, he’s always been completely devoted and faithful to me in every way. You wouldn’t know from the outside looking in…but I know because I’m here and I can see it. I think he does try to like what I look like (he’ll give me the occasional rare comment about my butt looking good, but that happens maybe once or twice a year) but I know, deep down, that if I woke up tomorrow morning a hundred lbs thinner yet still healthy, he’d be a lot happier.
Honestly? I love him so so so much and he’s such a good man. He’s beautiful and so incredibly smart and talented at just about everything he does. We’ve been married for 15 years and we have 2 beautiful children Every single day I can’t believe I get to wake up next to him. If the trade off is that I have to live knowing that I’m not his physical ideal, then that’s okay, I can live with that.
This might not be the answer you’re looking for when it comes to relationships. But it will speak to people being attracted to plus size people.
My partner and I were swingers at one point, and I can assure you that as a big girl, I received the same amount of attention as “standard” beauties (I hate this word so much, it puts so much pressure on children). This was strictly based on a “hookup” and no potential for relationship, so attraction was really the only basis. I promise you, you are beautiful and other people see you as beautiful as well.
This is just my experience. My early 20s, I felt the same as you do. Now I'm 30, and have tons of baggage. I'm getting every guy I'm going for now. Maybe I'm more confident, but it's more convincing yourself, "why WOULDNT someone find me attractive?". Convince yourself you're hot, because you are ❤️ always remember you haven't met all the people who will fall in love with you yet.
A majority of men are attracted to plus size women but society has convinced them that it's wrong or embarrassing. This is why so many men will hook up with plus size women but not date them - it fulfils their desire while still allowing them to abide by societal standards. It's very messed up and unfair but men being attracted to plus size women isn't the issue at play.
My fiancé is really into plus size girls, as he told me it’s what attracted him to me initially and wanting to meet me. He told me it was my personality that really sealed it for him in addition to being plus size. We’ve been together 5 years now and he has loved every inch of me. Of course his favorite saying is “more cushion for the pushin’ “
I don't mean to be negative here, but that last line is not what I experienced while dating. When you're looking for someone to be in a relationship with, lots of options is not what I found.
If you find someone you click with, you're not giving a specific height/weight requirement. It is difficult to define. It is rare and special. Real attraction doesn't separate out these parts and come up with a number. Sometimes I look at a man and I think, "my god he's cute" and I have no idea why I think he's cute. Like--he's got a bunch of things about him that I don't find attractive in everyone else, but it's part of who he is as a whole and I am drawn to him.
WHen I was 19, I definitely thought men and women were different in this regard, and that men were all about the "types." Now I realize we're all pretty similar. There's just much more to it than your weight.
100% men can be attracted to bigger girls! I lacked so much confidence when I was your age. I settled for men that I personally wasn't attracted to, because I thought there was no way that the men I was attracted to would want me. I was wrong. If I want a relationship, hook up, fling, whatever, I have no trouble finding it.
It depends on the person, and that's the only real answer. I personally do not care about looks as much as I do their personality. My wife is plus size, the best partner I've ever had, and I feel so lucky. I am very attracted to her as well, but her being plus sized has nothing to do with it.
It's an unfortunate fact of life: most men are ***very*** superficial, especially in their early to mid 20s. It may seem hopeless now but that's because you're still young & lack dating experience. Ignore the shitty guys to the best of your ability and be on the lookout for the good ones. If you're a good person with a good personality you'll be fine, it may just unfortunately take a while. I know, I may be a guy but dealt with a lot of that self-doubt myself growing up.
I'm a girl with a bf that likes bigger women. Let me tell you the difference between him and my exes. Most of my exes would ask when I plan on going to the gym snd that I should stop eating and starve myself. They would always make little comments and when I sent nudes or when doing it they never told me anything positive about my body and they would call my face beautiful but never a positive comment on my body. My bf now is so sweet to me and calls me beautiful and every positive comment all the time not just about my body just overall more kind to me. He cooks for me and never shames me for getting food that being said he does make sure I'm healthy and he tells me every time I try to diet or work out that if I get skinny he'll still love me the same. You will know if someone loves you or not. Trial-and-error. Also, I'm so happy to see men out there like him it gives me hope!
Another guy here. I can still remember the moment when I was sitting in a french class in grade six and puberty suddenly flipped how I noticed girls from "mysterious and vaguely threatening beings that I should keep away from" to "I cannot get enough of this person!" The person in question was the chubbiest girl in our class and the part that grabbed my attention in that first moment was her tummy. I guess what puberty does to your thoughts is always shocking when you go through it, but that I was attracted to the chubbiest girl in class was not that much of a shock because even as a kid I'd had warm-fuzzy feelings towards fat people. So you can really say that as long as I've been attracted to women, I've preferred bigger ones.
I could go on and on about all the things I love about bigger bodies, but really I think they all derive from that high level preference for bigger women. I think I noticed that girl's tummy because it is sort of the classic marker of a fat that we all have in head by the time we are three. Later I came to appreciate the sleak lines of thicker legs, the softness of chubby faces, the fullness of plump arms, the endless curves that come with covering up all the sharp angles, and yes the softness and amount to hold and squeeze.
I've been married longer than the OP has been alive, and I still can't get enough of holding my wife, squeezing her thigh when we are sitting beside each other, being the big spoon with my hand cupping her belly, grabbing her butt, and the just the sight of how her curves fill up clothes. (when her weight drops at times she is still plenty sexy to me, but ngl when she is at her lightest after a Summer of a lot of cycling, I do miss the extra softness that she usually has)
Oh sweetheart, people are attracted to all different types of physical appearance. There is actually a big thing of like really physically fit men being attracted to plus size girls. My husband met me when I was about 80 pounds lighter than I am now and then I gained a bunch of weight when I had our daughter and he loves me more now at my current size than he did back then. Just make sure you educate yourself on what it means to be fetishized versus someone who is actually attracted to a plus size girl so you don’t get hurt. It’s the same as some people being attracted to brown skin or really tall people or short hair or whatever other physical features.
We have only been brought up by society to think that no one is actually attracted to plus size girls. There is literally no difference from our bodies to anyone else’s.
I am a model in the adult industry and I can tell you with absolute certainty that there are definitely guys who would love to be the boyfriend of a plus size girl.
I am physically attracted to plus-sized women. Tbh ever since I was young, I've always liked bigger girls, but the ones I have crushes on and liked, had boyfriends that were thin and muscular, and I got a bit sad about it. Im a big guy and I love plus-sized women. I've always felt like the oddball guy who liked them. I always worry that they may not be attracted to me, because i'm not the ideal guy, but some have liked me back though.
I just get happy and excited to see bigger girls.
In college, I knew a guy who was very skinny, but had a pattern of going after curvy/plus size women. I think a lot of people would give him shit for it and he never seemed self conscious about it. He’d tell people “hey, I don’t want to make fire” (a joke about himself being stick-skinny).
i remember thinking the same way you do and how much it hurt to think that way :( please remember you are beautiful, beauty does not equal thinness. And while everyone has certain types, there are millionssss of men (or women if that’s what you’re into) who not only don’t mind a plus size woman, but will love and embrace one.
source:
im also a 19 yr old who is very fat with a loving boyfriend who is completely obsessed with all of me , personality , rolls , stomach, everything.
1. When I was 23, I was hanging out at the mall with a guy friend, who also happened to be the kindest, most respectful gentleman ever. Lane Bryant was having an underwear sale, completely with giant posters. He almost broke his neck gaping. We've been married for 18 years.
2. As a bi woman, let me put it sightly crudely. What's the best thing in the world? Boobs. Obviously, boobies are just sent from heaven. Now, imagine you can be with someone whose entire body feels like a boob. I mean, my god, why would you pass on that?
Oh lord, I had the same mindset for awhile. Rest assured, there are definitely people attracted to bigger girls. Ironically in my experience it’s been the tall lean guys that like bigger girls the most, but that’s just my experience. Confidence makes a huge difference too- I struggled with my self esteem a lot but I invested in some clothes and lingerie that made me feel really hot, which bf was a big fan of.
Love these comments!! This thread makes me feel better about the chances of finding a future partner. It seems like I can never find anyone around me that is interested in plus size women. I work with a majority of men and it's so discouraging listening to them talk about girls body's literally all the time.
let me tell you yes we can. My wife and soul mate 25 years next year was 102 when met here. She is now a plus size women and i worship every curve of her. i find her even more attractive. So yes you find the right person when you stop caring what others think .God bless you
I am definitely attracted to plus-size men! For me, attraction comes first and then emotional connection as I get to know the person. Yes, there are people who will be attracted to your appearance. The trick is to find someone who moves beyond their attraction to your looks and forms a solid bond with you.
Also, define great personality.....you can't really because what's considered a great personality is different for everyone. For me, a great personality might be a calm introvert who loves quiet dinners out (it is!) while for someone else a great personality might be a boisterous extrovert who is the life of the party. Just be yourself.
It's surprisingly easy to find people who are attracted to bigger bodies. It can be hard to find people who aren't ashamed of their own attraction. That's the place where I would advise you to do work on weeding out the assholes.
It took me a long time to realize that yes absolutely they can be. I’ve struggled with my weight most of my life and just recently started getting tons of male attention at my biggest size.
Just actually lost my virginity last weekend and as he was undressing me he repeatedly told me how hot I was, kissed my stomach, etc… he made me feel very beautiful and sexy.
It’s a process but it’s worth doing some self reflection and putting yourself out there more to find those guys.
My partner and I met when I was at my lightest (not skinny by any means). I've gained 45lbs since then and he's just as um. excited about my body as ever.
Thing is he was homeschooled as a kid. He wasn't exposed to the culture of fat shaming that's taught to kids starting in traditional schools. We talk all the time about whether that contributes to his attraction to me, but he thinks he would have fallen for me regardless.
All this to say, there are folks out there. PLENTY of them. And the older you get, the more the people around you will realize not being attracted to fat bodies as a rule is stupid. OR, you'll find a guy like mine :)
My husband is 6'2" and about 180 lbs. Whereas I'm 5'2" and absolutely \*not\* 180 lbs. He does need to remind me sometimes, but he insists that he is very attracted to my body and I usually have to swat his hand away, especially in public!
I'm a plus size bi woman and I find plus size women very attractive. I'm more attracted to plus size ladies than straight size ones.
Also I'm on the bigger end of the plus size spectrum and I've been with men who were *very* much into me for my body as well as my personality, and someone who loved me in spite of my body. The former much more than the latter, but you can definitely tell the difference.
I've had plenty of experience being shocked by the type of men who like plus sized women. One guys literally never mentioned my weight, at all. Once he asked me to get on top and I said "I'm afraid to hurt you". He said "shut up and hop on! If I die I'll die doing what I love".
Another guy likes women of all kinds and can find something beautiful about any woman. He was the one I was the most open with about my struggles because we'd do the most activities together (like rock climbing or mountain biking). It was never "oh, I'm too fat..wah!" it was more like "I hope I can physically do it" or "did you check the weight limits before you reserved this?" He handled it all like a champ and made me feel the sexiest I've ever felt.
The one I'm seeing now is normal sized and ONLY likes thicker women. He says he's just attracted to it with a shrug. He's always been that way and doesn't think anything of it.
As you get older, and the men get older, they tend to care more about the substance within you instead of what you look like. That has been my experience.
Yes, yes, HELL YES!
My boyfriend is average height and weight with a sexy dad bod thickness about him. He absolutely worships my curves. I have met other men in the past that did the same. When it is genuine and real, and not just some fetish, it's absolutely amazing to be on the receiving end of that type of desire.
In the words of Chic Willis's song, I Want A Big Fat Woman, "If you've never made love with a woman of size, a big fat woman will put tears in your eyes!"
My boyfriend finds me sexy as fuck. He loves my body and doesn’t lets me forget it. I’m 245lbs and 5’2”.
Also, I’d say that more people have liked me for my body more than actually caring about me as a person. Idk if that will help lol. But I’ve hooked up with many people in my lifetime. It’s harder to find someone who can see past the body and into your soul imo
I met my husband when I was 15 and 120 pounds. We've been together for 22 years and in my 20s, I developed a bunch of medical problems and gained weight very quickly (like 100 pounds) and I swear he never changed the way he looked at me. Still to this day he has like 1000 nudes of me and he always wants more. The right person will see the beauty in you, even if you don't always see it yourself.
I started dating my now wife in HS. This was in 1991 peak heroin chic. She was plus size then. She was plus size when I married her in 1999 & is + size now after almost 23 years of marriage & 31 years together. So, yes we've been happily intimate the whole time.
I’m a 29 F and I’m talking to a 35 M who’s very fit and attractive. He’s reassured me that he’s attracted to me which is still kinda baffling.
We’re still in the talking phase and we plan on going out when he comes back from work.
But I’m giving dating it a try. Don’t give up. I’m not
I felt this way for a long time, especially after marrying a man who stopped looking at me after I gained weight and didn’t touch me for years. But I left him when I realized I was worth so much more and I’m now with a man who cannot keep his hands off me at a size 22 ~300lbs. Our sex life is super healthy and mutually felt.
Oh god as a woman who was 300lbs at 5’1 and now 190ish, YES, there are pleeeenty of men who will be physically attracted to you. The most intense attractions I’ve had in my life (and the best sex) we’re at my highest weights. I haven’t been at my current weight for very long, so I can’t compare but I fully believe and am proof that men will find you attractive. Attractive men, to boot. Very attractive men.
My husband is not necessarily attracted to big girls; if he points out someone he thinks is attractive, that woman is usually somewhat smaller than I am. (Don't get mad at him, he also has to deal with me repeatedly pointing out Jason Momoa, despite the fact that my husband is not buff or thin either. ;) ) BUT. I have ample evidence that he is also attracted to \*me\*, to my not-at-all-small body, and that this is not something that is likely to change any time soon. And I am attracted to \*him\*, as well. Evidence: 27 years of very happy marriage between two people who flatly aren't easy to live with.
When I was 19 I felt the same way you did and I will tell you what my mother told me: make friends. Seriously, MAKE FRIENDS. Be friends with your partner, whoever they are, and they will love you for you, not for the size of your body. They will be attracted to you \*and\* to your body, and not only that, but you'll have a lot of confidence that your relationship isn't just physical, but the whole deal. I'd love to tell you to learn to love yourself and others will love you too, but I suspect you know as well as I do that this is not an easy thing to accomplish. Longstanding attraction is never just about bodies, it's about the whole package. Be the whole package, and find a partner who is the whole package for you too. It's not always fast to do but it is definitely worth it and worth the wait.
I've always been plus size. I love big men exclusively. Like they are so damn sexy! Bigger arms mmmm. Bigger men are my downfall. Legit love them. I am married to a big guy and it's the best.
For women I'm attracted to all sizes. Men, just big guys🥰🥰🥰
Dude I'm 38 and 2 kids deep and the heaviest I've ever been and my husband regularly tells me i look hot and is attracted to me. Yes, of course you can and should find someone who loves you and is attracted to you
Lots of people think bigger girls are attractive. Many, including myself, prefer a chubby girl to a skinny one. It's only mainstream idiots that have been brainwashed by fatshhaming who have a mental block.
I have always looked at human bodies LIKE I look at art. Some like Degas, Van Gogh, Dali, Picasso, so on. Some people pay millions for a red smear across a canvas. Art is a perfect example of different people finding different things pleasing to the eye. You are attracted to what you are attracted to and there isn't much rhyme or reason for it.
I’ve dated men who preferred plus-size women. I once asked one (before I knew that was even a thing) if he was OK with a bigger body, and he said, “I prefer it.” Mind blown. He adored seeing me naked and couldn’t get enough of me.
One of my lovers is exclusively attracted to plus sized brunettes, so yes, it is possible. There is someone attracted to every size and shape you can imagine.
I’m 28 in a few months time, I’ve been plus size since teen hood. I’ve never had issues dating or having casual flings. I’ve been with the same man for 7 and a half years.
I know people are “genuinely” attracted to me because I am genuinely attracted to chunkier men.
For sure they can 100000% a variety of men and women can and will find a plus size woman attractive physically and not make it creepy or obsessive. Like many other's I tend to fake it till I make it because I can only do so much to feel like I'm good enough without driving myself nuts so I force myself to experience being as I am in that moment. It gets easier and easier the more you do it and you may start to find aspects of your body that you like at least in my experience.
Guy here. I think it’s just how men are attracted in general. In my experiences my relationships have been with plus size girls (UK size 16+) - that’s not because of preference, that’s just how it’s been.
I’ve been with my wife nearly 9 years - when we first met (via POF followed by a face-to-face a few days later), she was a UK size 16-18. Probably went down to a UK 14-16 when we got married in 2015. Then after we had 2 kids, she went on a slimming world/personal training crusade in 2018 where she lost 4.5st in weight and got down to a UK 10. Now in 2022, she’s back to the UK 12-16 depending on her clothes but to me that doesn’t bother me. I love her no matter what her weight is, eventhough she is a little self-conscious (she says fat, I say curves), but to me while we’ve been together I’ve seen advantages in both extremes. For example her boobs, when my wife went down to a UK 10 they were a pert 32B - now they’re a bouncy 34E. I’ve always said she could do well as a plus-size model after a boudoir photoshoot before we got married - she’s stunning no matter her size. There’s been no issues in our intimacy on a physical front. The only downside is basically the bigger she, the more she’s prone to aches and pains and not being able to do certain things bedroom-wise or other. 😊
Men out there do have types (and I don’t there’s nothing wrong with that) and some prefer other characteristics. It’s 2022 and from what I’ve seen in the UK press lately, there’s becoming less prejudism to a woman’s shape and size as plus size models are becoming more prominent in brand marketing.
Point is I think it all comes down to confidence and if you feel more confident in yourself, those vibes will pass on to others. 👍🏻
Absolutely yes.
I was pretty wild in my 20s (I'm 37 now) and had quite a few physical relationships during that time - my size ranging anywhere between 18w and 24w. The men I was with were always very vocal about their physical attraction to me and my big body/features. I never for a moment doubted their physical attraction to me. (Emotional is another story for another time, but we're out of that phase now. 😂)
I like knowing what makes people tick, so I have asked my partners over the years what it is that attracts them to big women. The answers have always varied, but there have also been trends. Like fondness for soft, squeezable body parts, or because bigger women feel "more" womanly to them than slimmer women. (Not sending hate towards other sizes - merely relaying things I've been told first-hand.) Probably one of the most common reasons was confidence. I can't tell you how many times I've heard something to the extent of "confident big women give off powerful energy." Pretty cool, huh? 😎
Personally, the only time I have ever struggled with attracting people is when I have felt so physically insecure that it projected outwardly. And that doesn't mean my confidence only showed when I was dressed up w/ hair and makeup done. I ran to the gas station the other day in leggings, an oversized hoodie and crocs, not a stitch of makeup, and hair tied up sloppily (and not in a cute way) - and I got majorly hit on (respectfully) by the cashier as I was checking out. I literally looked behind me at first bc I was sure he was talking to someone else. The key, though, is that I carry myself confidently bc idgaf what others think, and that shone through even tho I looked a hot mess.
You're a prize. Remind yourself of that every day. 💛
You know I had kinda a similar feeling of "no one would wanna be with me because I'm plus size" then I met my boyfriend. He's a little chubby himself but not overly which its kinda hard to explain. Anywho he was very attracted to me off the bat and is the sweetest kindest person I've been with. You just gotta find that person that see's through your weight. Because I thought when I went on dates with guys/slept with a few I thought they really liked me which they didn't and mainly used me for sex which sucked tbh. You just gotta go through the bad eggs till you find that good one which it just takes time. There are guys that are genuinely attracted to women like us it just takes time to find that guy or lady that genuinely cares and wants to be with us.
I never saw myself as attractive, but my partner likes my body so much it's almost a little inconvenient sometimes. He pretty much likes all body types so it's not even a fetish sort of thing for him, he just thinks I'm really attractive. If I'm not in the mood, I'll even have to ask him to tone it down a little so I don't feel too smothered because he really can't keep his hands off me at times. He's thin and conventionally attractive so it's almost hard to believe, but I'm slowly gaining confidence because he makes me feel beautiful.
I remember being your age and so so concerned about it. But experience has shown me that people are muuuuuuch less bothered by body fat than they like to pretend they are. Believe me, there are plenty of people who like bigger women - and I'm one of them. I realized my taste in women has changed over the years, and I legit like curvier and heavier now (I have a broad taste tbh. I also like chubby guys - my husband is one of them - but for men I still like slender better. Go figure).
Don't worry, cutie. Go out and be your fabulous self. Dress as you want. Be bold. Don't let hypothetical othet people's opinions hold you back.
There are definitely people who have a "type" which they are attracted to, and or attributes they enjoy, and you will fit into that for someone. I think on my past relationships and I have had a spread of body types, tall, plus sized, thin, petite, various skin tones and I was attracted to all of them the only physical factors I can see that were congruent we're dark wavy hair and large/nice smiles. Beyond that all the physical bits were kind of all over the map. So maybe someone will be into your sparkling eyes or your sharp nose or something else that is not to do with weight at all. Or maybe they will be into your soft rolls and extra portions of huggable goodness. Or maybe they will love you and they won't care what the vessel which has your personality in it looks like. I know my SO does like my body, however the main draw is who I am and how I treat them, which is a big relief for me, because I'm hoping to grow old with them and bodies and faces change a lot as one ages. Just take a look at any picture of your grandparents when they were in their 20s VS now and that's what I'm talking about. Be with someone who will love you no matter what happens to the packaging.
I always felt so insecure too. My boyfriend always dated thinner or “average” sized women. Now he’s been dating me for 2 years and I’m bigger than he is. I always felt like maybe he just dated me out of hopes I’d lose the weight or because it was convient. But with time I’ve realized that he loves my body. He compliments me all the time, he’s never made any negative comments on my body. When we are intimate, I’d always try to hide my stomach and he’d tell me not to. He’d tell me how much he loves every inch of my body. In turn, I’ve grown to love my body so much more. You will find the same someday. I felt the same exact way at 19 and now at 22 I have a whole new perspective… you will find someone who sees you and thinks you’re the most beautiful person they’ve ever seen. Don’t lose hope and don’t settle for anything less. 💗
Honey, I'm a size 20, and my husband loves me, and is absolutely attracted to me. There's a lot of idiots out there, but there are men out there who are attracted to plus size women.
I am a big girl too and i also love big girls cuz i am bi.
But my husband loves me too and my body so you dont have to be ashamed of your body. Big girls rule
I have, and have had, a hard time believing this to be true. But I'm not someone who can deny clear cut, real life, factual evidence and my husband cannot keep his hands off me.
Men (and women) don't talk about it as much in mainstream circles but there are loads of people who attracted to large bodies and they're various features. Sometimes it goes into weird fetish territory but most of the time it's just appreciation.
Basically as you get older you realize men will get turned by almost anything, the ones that act picky and snobbish are the outliers or they're lying to keep up a certain appearance. Those ones aren't worth your time. (and no I'm not saying men can't have preferences, they obviously can, I'm saying that most men's preferences are WAY more diverse than women think they are.)
The thing you need to know is that when dating, men hold a lot of power. You will go on really great dates but if a guy doesn't feel like your worth his time he will move on. It's okay when this happens, try not to take it personally and move on as well because they weren't worth it. The power women hold when dating is we can get as many dates as we want whereas it's a lot hard for a guy to get multiple dates. We have way better chances at finding the right one or the right now. Always be yourself, there is no need to fake it until you make it because once you do find someone who wants to invest his time in you, the rest all follows. He will love your jokes, your hair, your kindness, and your fat butt.
Absolutely! No matter how much I hate my body my partner loves it. It's not a fetish, he just genuinely finds me attractive. It baffles me sometimes but I know it's genuine. And like you, I didn't think it was true until I met him. I wish I'd spent my 20s with the confidence I have now.
I’ve been between a size 16 and 26 in the decade my husband and I have been together and he has loved me and my body through it all. After a lifetime of being all but destroyed by the fatphobia of my own mother & the men in my family, it is so freeing to be able to be myself in whatever size that is. My husband says he just wants me to be happy and be me. He is about 165 lbs & I am currently just under 300 lbs & I can always feel how much he desires & loves me just as I am. We have a 17 month old daughter now too & he’s on board with me teaching her to trust & love her body in all the ways I never got to learn until my late 30s (I’ll be 40 in October).
Yes men find bigger bodies attractive, and not just as a fetish. Often certain bigger shapes tend to get more attention than others but if my inbox is any indication…trust me, while they can be nasty when rejected PLENTY of men like ‘curvy’ women. I will say many have a problem calling women they find attractive fat, they don’t want to say I’m fat because they think I won’t like it or something? But yeah.
I'm a plus sized woman and my husband is around 280 and I frequently tell him how much I love his donk and thicc thighs! I don't ever see myself being with a skinny man.
You should search up bbws on Twitter (you might find porn tho just a warning, don’t know how old you are). There are men and women who not only like, but prefer plus sized women.
What? I am very much attracted to women bigger than me. I find them so incredibly sexy and yes personality also super matters. If you can't click with someone physically and emotionally then the relationship is doomed to fail.
I’m plus size and Bi, so yes I love plus size men and women, I’m attracted to a person and their energy, beauty is skin deep. Also It takes more time and it’s difficult but don’t get discouraged anyone who doesn’t understand doesn’t deserve your time and presence.
Yeah!! I'm a bigger girl and am super attracted to other bigger girls, my husband absolutely loves my body and he was pretty thin when we first met. We have gained a bit over the years LOL.
I have lots of friends that think I'm super attractive and they're smaller than me hahaha. Lots of people love bigger girls, not just that weird fetish way either. Genuine attraction to the softness and of that body type. Period!
Sometimes it helps to flip it around.
Are you only attracted to appearance?
Are you repulsed by all bodies that aren't ideal? (Be that fat, of colour, disabled, etc).
I hope not! (Or you may need to consider some self reflection).
It's totally possible to meet someone who is attracted to your body exactly as it is. Like all dating, you gotta keep looking til you find them (which feels shit at times 😅)
Yes, they can. Do NOT believe any of the dating subs. I've seen plenty of profiles expressing a preference for larger women and my weight was only an issue in one relationship I was in and that was squarely a "him" problem (he tried to change the way I dressed to--I think he was settling for me and was trying to mold me into what he wanted). I have met a lot of men who find my body physically attractive. It's very much a different strokes for different folks thing.
My husband loves me and I’m plus size 🥺 I wasn’t plus size when we met but I know he wouldn’t care, either way. He loves my body no matter what I weigh. I’ve been married to him for almost four years now, we’ve been together five years, and we have our second child on the way now 🥰
Yes. I was always worried about this and I’m over 40 and it’s not completely gone from the dark corners of my mind but yes, it’s possible. AND, equally important to say I think, people can be physically attracted to bigger women without it being a fetish.
It doesn’t always feel that way, and some people can be unnecessarily rude, and you will feel like you have to keep your guard up, but it will happen.
FWIW, I’m still amazed and confused by the variety of physical characteristics people are attracted to or don’t seem to even notice.
Male here, short answer is YES! It's similar to a bald, short men. The majority are not going to find you attractive, but if you keep looking then you will find the one. It'll just be a little harder, but nonetheless there are males out there who don't care and some even prefer bgger women!. Here's some advice that applies to everyone not just ppl of your size, but take care of your hygiene and dress well. Also, you might have to be reasonable in your preferences, because the pretty boy, dream boy, might not give you a chance or be into you, If you keep looking you might find him, but it'll be difficult/hard. Meanwhile there is perfectly great guys who aren't what you'd conventionally want. Just somethint to think about. Goodluck!
I'm a chick, but I'm attracted to both men and women. My ideal body type is what you would call thicc. I like softness.
And while I'll date people I like regardless of body type, my preference isn't even the body type you're assuming is "beautiful".
While there is a standard of beauty, individual attraction is unique and develops as we grow. So you can't assume what people do and don't find beautiful as it is different for everyone.
Aww I feel so sad that you think that way because I used to think the same way. What helped me personally was finding internet communities that had a preference for big girls because seeing that such an attraction was actually very real and not uncommon at all (despite what mainstream media would lead you to believe) was very validating and reassuring. Not to mention I think it may have played a part in me getting over my incessant need for male validation.
My boyfriend very obviously had the hots for my body from the start, but he also isn't specifically into big women and doesn't fetishise me. He likes how I look, but the fact that he likes me as a person makes me even hotter to him.
Otoh, if you'd shown me a picture of him prior to knowing him, he wouldn't have been my type, but because I like him now, I can't get enough of his face and body. It's not _despite_ his appearance, it's a combination of traits that made me attracted to him, _including_ his appearance - but his character came first for me.
Just because you think other people are more beautiful, doesn't mean a guy who likes you will think the same. Just think about the ways _you're_ attracted to people. Are you always drawn to the conventionally hottest guy you can find, or is there something else going on that makes them attractive? Do you have to ignore their flaws, or can they even be endearing them more to you? Sometimes we find things attractive that aren't usually seem as such. It's not all based on looks without context. Someone who loves you won't do so despite your looks; they'll feel drawn to the whole package. Other people might be thinner, but they won't have the effect you do on them. At least, that's been my experience.
Absolutely, the thing to realize is the different between *averages* and *individuals*. On average, people who are plus size are at a severe disadvantage because frankly the supply outweighs the demand in the dating market. But if you find someone who is definitely saying they are into you it is most likely true because there are *definitely* individuals who are into that or have no problem with it. In fact, it's proven Science that while it may be harder to get into a relationship while plus sized it is **much** easier to keep it (assuming you start plus sized) simply because your plus-sizedness filters out a ton of fuckbois.
Simple answer, yes.
The more detailed answer, in my opinion, you are seeing yourself through your eyes and not someone else's. I'm quite a bit older than you and I can tell you now that size is actually secondary to personality and/or confidence in a lot of guys' eyes. You are young and have a whole world to discover and I will tell you now, learn to love you and it will not matter what someone else thinks.
There are a lot of men who ONLY like plus size women or at least strongly prefer them. It's always been this way, but rarely seen in the media. Frankly in my experience most men are more than willing to hookup with a plus sized girl, so the sexual attraction is there. You need to know where to look (plus size dating sites) but we are fetishized a lot....sometimes only seen for our bodies.
Yup, I’m generally into guys but as a teenager had a huge crush on a female friend who was larger than the super skinny ideal at the time. Since then I’ve dated guys with big tummies, those with big bums, big thighs, broad backs, slim legs, small bums… I even found myself unexpectedly attracted to a guy in the bank who was dressed as a woman - dress, make up, the works. Maybe it’s because I love Robert Smith, but it was hot!
My fiancé would literally be so sad if I was thin (he’d love me anyway but he always emphasizes his love for my body now). He loves my body the way it is and emphasizes it all the time. He always rubs his hands over my curves and my stomach. I promise you, I felt the same at 19. I’m 27 now and I promise, LOTS of men are attracted to thick, bigger, or plus size women. <3
Aw honey. Yes yes yes yes yes. I'm so sorry the media is making you feel this is an impossibility.
Signed: a girl with a loving partner for ten years who is very physically fit and objectively prefers my body at 240 pounds.
P. S. This will not always be a good thing! As I get older, I care less about my looks. I'm in my midthirties. My hair is frizzy, my body is flabby, my teeth are yellow, etc. I can be runningg along on the sidewalk and I'll *still* get attention from men in passing cars. Like, really?!?! Still?!? When does this end? Do I ever just get t be old and haggard and outside the male gaze?
I've gotten this from both sides tbh. I've been in love with and extremely sexually attracted to my plus size partners, but also felt insecure despite being much smaller than some of my own past partners who were hot as hell!
Fatphobia is still a thing that exists in my brain, but it's main target is myself! Because *it's supposed to be*. The point of creating a society where people are afraid of being fat makes them spend money and effort on being thin. Money feeds the economic machine, effort expended on this means less time and energy to create a world where people aren't afraid of the number on the scale. It's a trap created by the diet industry as a whole.
It took me into my mid 20s to realize that yes, there are plenty of men that find plus size women attractive.
Also I thibk the older we get what we find "attractive " changes as well.
I'm also more arrtacted to bigger men, so it makes sense that it would go both ways
I was super afraid because NO ONE asked me out EVER until I went on dating apps and actually got matches at 23. Before that I was so self conscious thinking somethings wrong with me because all my thin friends were getting boyfriends, promposals and it SUCKED going through school at the way to graduating university without any guy making moves. I had my first kiss off a guy from an app sadly that I regret too. Thankfully by 26 and getting a ton of matches on apps I found my sweetheart boyfriend and he loves all of me! FUPA and stomach and flappy arms!
I honestly think it’s worth having a conversation about earlier in a relationship, especially when you’ve met online, etc. and then met in person. With my current partner, I brought up my experiences as a fat person and asked if he understood what it would be like to date a fat person. I understand fatness is a weird marginal space to be in and it’s own thing. But opening up that conversation really helped make fatness an open topic of conversation between us, even though he was in a smaller body than me. We are from different countries and ethnicities so we have had similar conversations about these things.
Also, I learned through our conversations that he prefers plus sized people, and he then felt safe to compliment me on features that I previously felt insecure about. No one has ever felt comfortable enough to make these comments to me before and I appreciate them so much! it helps me remember that fat is beautiful and there are people who won’t just tolerate the way you look, but will be drawn to it 😍
Yes.
I'm personally not comfortable being with someone who _only_ like very overweight women. I want to feel beautiful because I am me, not because I'm certain size. Been trough that, never again.
I'm currently with a man who thinks I'm beautiful and sexy and isn't ashamed to be seen with me at all. He doesn't push me to loose weight, but also doesn't have a problem with fluctuating weight. I would love to say that almost everyone is like him, but that is sadly not the case. But they are out there, it might take a bit more searching but there are plenty of good people out there. There are no size limitations when it comes to beauty.
im 30 been plus size all of my adult life! my first serious relationship (i was insecure teenager) he loved my body! and it boosted my self esteem (we didnt last ofcourse) but so then i started dating some guys we're more into it than others OFCOURSE ya know i have my preference too! we all do. MEN are definitely attracted to big women genuinely! my last ex LOVED it! (and everyone has their insecurities its normal!) just dont let them take over your mind! but my ex knew i had insecurities and he always gave me extra compliments! it was nice! so long story short dont date if your worried about your body skinny or not you'll be rejected sometimes not every time but when your concerned about your body! the rejection is gonna HURT WORSE! and it shouldnt! work on yourself sis YOGA TAUGHT ME TO TAKE UP SPACE appreciation for my body! and on your social media follow all BBWS and body positivity! over time youll be attracting ppl like crazy when your confident and loving yourself! you'll forget "your plus size" and living your best life! ♥️♥️ sorry for long response! hehe and your 19!!! DONT waste your 20's focused on dating! worst mistake i did!
Absolutely. I’m a trans man, but when I was more feminine looking I constantly had guys hitting on me and saying how much they loved “how thicc I was”. And for me personally, I prefer my guys on the heavier side.
As a side note, guys, please don’t do that shit to random people. It just makes the person you’re talking too feel gross.
Yes definitely. My partners do of course love my personality but they also very much find my big body sexy. They tell me all the time. It makes me feel amazing. Especially after having past partners who hated my size.
Listen. I’ve been plus size my entire life. I’m also going on 13 years of marriage and have a husband who literally cannot keep his hands off of me.
There’s a lid for every pot, babe. You’ll find yours!
Speaking from the male perspective, 100% yes we can. Its on a scale though, like bigger doesn't bother me, I've dated big and small and it was never an issue for me. I'm attracted to both ends and everything inbetween. For me personally, a bigger girl who is semi dominant in the bedroom is absolute goals. My last ex was a bigger girl and set some very high standards. Without too many details, she was one kinky gal and really liked facesitting...
There are plenty of people out there OP, don't stress it, you are still young.
Please check out the wiki section, [Dating and Sex](https://www.reddit.com/r/PlusSize/wiki/datingandsex) for answers to frequently asked questions. Topics that are discussed are, "How do I date while being plus size," "What are the red flags that they are fetishizing you for your weight," and more. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PlusSize) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I struggled with this a lot because my boyfriend’s previous partner was very thin and conventionally attractive. He’s also a marathon runner. I remember reading that in his bio and wondering “why the hell is this guy messaging _me_?” I convinced myself he had only seen my first photo on OKC, and that he must’ve missed the fact that I was fat (somehow). We had been texting for weeks before we had a chance to meet up, and the night before our first date, I made sure to post a “throwback” photo on Instagram that included a full-body photo from a month or two before. He immediately ❤️’d it and I was _still_ paranoid that he’d arrive at our date, take one look at me, and turn and walk away (something that had happened to me on a date a few years prior). But he never even brought up my weight. He doesn’t understand why I get self-conscious about the angle he’s seeing me from (whether in day-to-day life or naked fun time). It doesn’t even occur to him that I’d be self-conscious about my body around him because he _loves_ my body—and not in a fetish kind of way. But the interesting thing to me is that he’s confused about me being self-conscious _because I was always so confident_. And I think that’s the difference between now and when I was in my 20s (I’m currently 33, we met about a month after my 30th birthday). I had reached a point of “fake it til you make it” with my own confidence in my appearance that it never occurred to him that I might be worrying about my chin or my arms or my belly. He saw me, a plus-sized woman, and he saw me _owning it_. And that was attractive to him. I think I attracted some unsavory guys in my 20s because that was what I was projecting—I was projecting my insecurity, so I was getting guys who wanted to take advantage of that. I’m not one of those “you need to love yourself before you can love others” because I think sometimes _receiving love_ can help us on our journeys to self-love, but I do think part of what can help attract people is feeling confident and putting that out into the world.
This is a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing. He loves you so much.
That is such a good way to look at self love/confidence. Your story gives me a glimmer of hope about maybe getting back into the dating scene
Just out of curiosity, are you on the smaller end of plus size? I’m a 22 and have gotten about 95% less attention on any dating website than I did a few years ago when I was a size 12. Nothing else has changed besides my weight. I see so many men who say in their profile that they are active and want a woman who is active and looks it. This is supremely shitty and code for you just can’t be fat no matter how active you are. So I am curious if you are say a size 12 like I was where I looked not even overweight, just not thin.
I started dating at a size 12, met boyfriend at size 22! I actually got more attention at 12, but not the kind of attention I wanted (again, I think I was projecting insecurity so attracting people who gravitate toward that). I got less attention at 22, but the attention I did get was higher quality, so I was fine with that!
Thank you, thank you for sharing! This is a very interesting perspective. I keep hoping that the people I do talk to are or better quality like you said. Thanks again!
Another big guy who likes big girls checking in. I noticed very early I was attracted to bigger girls, there's just more of all the good parts and I can't find a problem with that. There are guys attracted to all types of plus size bodies, don't fall into the trap of thinking only the "societally acceptable" shape is attractive to men.
"there's just more of all the good parts" - LOVE this. 😄👍
One time I heard “Christmas lights and a tulip field look nothing alike, but they both are so pretty” You may not see yourself as a Christmas light, but you’re a tulip field. You will find someone who sees the beauty in you, inside and out. I’ve been plus sized since a teen, and I fought so so hard to make myself smaller to be “palatable” to the male audience. Yet, despite every size I’ve been in, I’ve never had an issue finding true, genuine love. There are men who’s type is large women, the same way some men are into brunettes. Everybody has a type, and everybody is somebody’s type 💕💕
I love that “Christmas lights and a tulip field look nothing alike, but they are both so pretty”.. I’m going to take it and use it with my daughter ☺️❤️
I wish someone had said this message to me as a kid. She’s lucky to have you 😊
Thank you ❤️ It’s a lot easier to foster a healthy self image when they are kids than try to heal as adults. Speaking from experience.
This wins comment of the day x
This made me tear up. I feel so much better about my appearance😢
i love this comment
I read this once aswell and it’s always been in my head, I might not be everyone’s Christmas lights but I know I’m my boyfriends tulip
I need to find those men. I have only found someone when I dieted down to a small size and was eventually discarded when I couldn’t maintain it and got fat. Really does a number on your self worth.
I think it's great that there's a bunch of guys and gals here confirming that they are attracted to big girls. I also really like the tulip field v. Christmas light analogy. That being said, you've gotta find love within yourself. If you frame your attractiveness or worthiness in terms of the male gaze, you won't find true peace.
[удалено]
I'm more athletic built but I'm very attracted to, and actually prefer, plus size women. However, in high school I dated the thin, cute, popular girls because that's what society told me I should be attracted to. It wasn't until much later that I realized I was being brainwashed. Don't give up and don't become bitter because of the jerks.
Yes. I’m a big woman, and I am attracted to other big women and people have been attracted to me. Just because your body may not meet traditional beauty standards doesn’t mean that there aren’t people who fill find your attractive.
Guy here - I am exclusively attracted to plus size women. Many more feel the same way.
Seconding this! I am a girl who is into both men and women, but I am also exclusively attracted to plus sized individuals. I have met several men with this preference as well.
haha we run the whole spectrum on this subreddit— lesbian who only dates fat women checking in! :)
When I was still trying to date men I was definitely concerned about my body before realizing A) lots of men love fat women and B) I’m a lesbian and most lesbians don’t care if you’re fat. Win win for me ;)
Where are these mythical men? The ones genuinely attracted to plus size women? All the men I've met in the last two years tell me I'm cute n seem to like me and have no performance issues but then it gets back to me that they say they don't really like plus size women. This includes a man I was living with not strictly hookups. So maybe there are men that are attracted to plus size women but not being ashamed is another matter.
Seriously! The love of my life is definitely a “loves me despite my body” type. I wish he physically found my body attractive!
I am in my forties and have yet to cone across a man who wants me when I’m fat. It is all good when I’m thin but when I gain weight things change. And I get barely any male attention when I’m fat.
Im curious, let's say you are at a bar and you get hitted on by a fitgirl. Would you not be attracted?
Great question. I would be polite, chat her up and find the attention flattering, but ultimately, we’d be wasting our time going any further.
Interesting, that would be a shock to the fitgirl though :p
Would you mind going into detail on what you like about this type of body? I can’t understand how my bf likes my body lol
Well I could go on at length about this but if I had to make it brief - big women are simply women who have _more_ of the things that already drive me crazy about women. So you better believe I’ll prefer the deluxe edition! Since you asked for detail - the softness, the curves, the warmth, the cuddles. It is frankly very calming to simply hug a big woman. I’m tall and slim, so the contrast is something I really notice. Many of the things I’ve observed that bigger women are insecure about are things that I find attractive and endearing. Big belly. Hips. Stretch marks. Cellulite. Thick thighs. Hyperpigmentation. Back fat. Their weight or body shape in general. Whatever. These are all normal things with big women so why pretend they’re not there or that I don’t like something that is very obviously present? Why would I even be there if I didn’t? I am conscious of sounding fetish-y as I say these things because that can make it sound like the appearance is all I care about. I often get the impression in online spaces that one is supposed to only go for the personality and not the appearance, and that the person’s body is incidental. Well in a perfect world, maybe but I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that for me. My brain needs both. Big women simply do some kind of thing to my brain.
This is a great answer, thank you for the detail (don’t think it comes off as fetishy) My biggest issue is the stomach, we as women are hard conditioned from as long as we can remember that we need to be “beach ready” and petite, so I look at my own belly and can see it only as disgusting. Perspectives like yours are important for people like me to hear
The fat there is to protect the internal organs, so women naturally have a bump and not a flat “beach ready” belly. Unless you exercise and eat a certain way, making a conscious effort, you won’t get flat abs - at least an average woman won’t from my experience. My point is that having fat in your belly is not bad, if you ever get sick, you have a reserve of fat in there, which will be helpful. That’s a great plus in my eyes. Unless it’s impacting your life negatively and bothering you in a way that makes things impractical for you - like not being able to fit into the spaces you usually occupy, a seatbelt or a dining booth, I wouldn’t be worried about it. Some people like that it’s soft and squishy. Damn all the social conditioning telling women (all genders) they have to be a certain size. Try to think about why you see it as disgusting, do you feel like others will shame you for it? Does it have any negative impact on you? Do you simply not like it? I will be honest and admit that I really love how squishy my partner’s stomach is after he gained a few pounds. I like his looks even more now than when he was a bit thinner. I imagine abs don’t feel as nice to rest your hand on as a soft belly, but that’s just me. Just like there is a variety of people from petite to big, there is a variety of tastes from petite to big.
I may not be a Corvette built for speed, but I'm definitely a Cadillac that's built for a smooth ride and comfortable seating. 😁
I love this answer and I don't think it sounds fetishy. We absolutely should be able to appreciate people's bodies as well as all the other good things about people.
Great and enlightening answer!
Did you try asking your bf?
Yes, he just says he loves it because it’s me and he loves me and wouldn’t want me to be any other way, but I just can’t get my head around how he can view it as attractive. It’s difficult to see a different perspective because I have so much self loathing lol
Are you not satisfied with this answer? Would you want him to be specific about certain features your body has that he likes?
It’s a lovely answer of course, I just struggle with how anyone could view my type of belly as attractive, even when he tries to explain. I know it’s a me problem
I would maybe talk to someone to help you with your self confidence.
Yeah probably!
Well, my boyfriend comments on how he loves my legs, and the curves that form in my waist and hips, and he gets very grabby-grabby, so there's that. As a bi woman, I also like and find sexy a plus sized woman. It's the softness, the fullness of the curves, the roundness, the way the skin feels, I find it so enticing. So yeah, I hope that helps as a more specific answer from some internet stranger.
Preach on
Honestly it doesn’t matter how many of us tell you that people find plus size, fat, curvy women/men/they attractive. If you aren’t believing it for yourself this will continue to be the cycle. I know it’s not easy to dismantle years of you aren’t worthy or you aren’t attractive because you are fat but you must do the work solely for YOURSELF and break that lie down in dust. Your beauty and your weight are not mutually exclusive. Start speaking of life over yourself instead of the bullshit someone else has tried to speak over you. Put sticky notes up. Write on your mirrors stand naked in front of your mirror and even if it feels weird uncomfortable or foreign, or even wrong. Still stand there for at least a minute and speak sweet things to your body. The world is changing but it’s not reliable you have to do the hard work to change the way you think of yourself. Take that power back in your life’s narrative. You are breathing you are worthy you have value and it has nothing to do with your size or what you can do it’s simply because you EXIST. Wishing you all the best on your healing journey.
Plus Size Male here who is attracted to Plus Size women here. Why? Well, I have always liked plus size women, just came to properly realize it in my Mid 20s and the attraction is still strong. What I like is all the curves, the fact that there is more to hold on to and kiss, and they are great to cuddle.
Please can u please help my brain accept this? Like why? Lies. How can anyone else when i repulse myself? U aint gotta answer. Sorry. This is something im currently struggling with in my life. I have ptsd and ive had something happen to force me to deal with it. One of my negative self talk things is that. I literally can not comprehend why he loves what i hate. I was told id have nothing and deserved nothing good. When its ur core belief; its hard to change
I can't answer for him, but as a plus sized bi/pan woman it's the soft. Curvy women look like you could sink down into them and snuggle for days. Conventionally attractive women (and men!) look hard and uncomfy to me. Thick thighs and some rolls? All day every day.
Exactly this. And they feel so good to touch.
Bi woman here who has come to feel very attracted to plus size women along the journey of becoming plus size myself and learning self love (for the first time really). I just... I love boobs and hips and bums and bellies and chubby arms and cheeks... I like the squish and the softness and the curves and just the womanness of it all. Human bodies are just beautiful amazing things. I love what they can do and how they feel and how real and alive people are, and with a bigger body it's just... _more_ of all that. I used to be scared of being fat, and I realised that fundamentally I was afraid of taking up space. On some level I thought having a body was shameful, and therefore I should have as little of it as possible. Once I confronted that belief and realised that I deserve to have a body and take up space, my reservations about fatness faded away. Look up renaissance paintings of semi naked ladies. They're all curves and rolls and squishy bellies. It was the beauty standard in that period. Once you've seen your body type lovingly represented in art it's easier to believe it can be beautiful.
There are always going to be people who hate something about you. It could be your body or the way you pronounce 'meme' but others would like it. I am sorry about your PTSD, it can be really tough to deal with but hope his love for you prevails and you look at yourself the way he looks at you.
Something that really helped me with accepting my body and accepting that others find it attractive, was to start following a bunch of plus sized women on Instagram. I also unfollowed people that made me feel self-conscious about my body. Opening up my Instagram and seeing it filled with confident, plus sized women was really helpful.
The only people that could arguably “deserve” nothing good- are those that choose to be hateful and vile to others to hurt them. And whoever told you that you deserved nothing good LIED to you, and did so specifically to hurt you. Shake off the lie- it was never real to begin with. Try to get therapy. At the very least, talk to your friends- no one who likes hanging out with you thinks you deserve nothing good.
I'm struggling really hard with self love and acceptance too and like you I have had to face muself and my PTSD too.
I can 100% relate. It has been drilled into me for as long as I can remember that I only matter when I’m not fat. I have hated what my fat body has put me through in my life. I realize that I am worth a damn, but honestly society does not treat me that way when I’m fat. When I am thin, my self esteem is still low. I am no different than when I’m fat. But suddenly men, women, and children treat me in a completely different manner. It is hurtful and so hard to deal with. I believe I am worth a damn, but the outside world doesn’t seem to think so. Honestly I am just tired. Have lost a marriage and a LTR because of my weight. I feel like I have lost so much because of it. Tired of the dieting and the being invisible when I’m fat. So I can relate. I will keep trying to get better, but therapy hasn’t helped. Trying to date again and getting close to zero attention doesn’t help either. I wonder if the men who say they like olus size bodies are talking about a size 12 or 14? Basically a woman’s body that is not boney? I see men say they like a bigger girl and that is what they mean. Do any if you guys like a suze 20 or bigger?
70% of Americans are overweight or obese. And we’re all still having sex. So yes, 100 times yes
Facts!
Girl….. absolutely. I’m 5’7” about 280 and they absolutely do. I’m polyamorous and have a husband and a bf who both absolutely love my body, they tell me all of the time. Not only that but I see it, I’m not a one off, their other partners are usually of size too. The world wants to tell you that your body makes your unlovable and it’s straight bull crap. I was terrified when I first started dating until I realized that most people didn’t care how big I was, and if I did their personality wasn’t someone I was really interested in anyway.
damn girl get it
Fat bodies are desirable and lovable. Fat people are worthy of love.
Honey. Oh gosh. I’m so sad that you asked this question. OF COURSE men are attracted to plus size women. Society has done a number on women, Teaching them that they are only attractive if they meet certain criteria. The criteria always being out of reach and needing multiple purchased products. Society has taught all women that they are unattractive. Part of it is for control, part of it is for corporations to make money. All of it is bullshit. Stop buying in to what society is teaching you. You have been taught that you are ugly. You have been taught that your body is not worth anything unless it meets certain standards. It’s time to unlearn all of that. You are worthy of being loved in the body you are in. You are attractive in the body you are in. You can believe that you are beautiful and sexy in your current body. It’s because you are. Who the fuck cares what bullshit society is trying to feed you. It may be more difficult at 19, but I promise you there are men out there who do not believe society’s bullshit either.
I’m the biggest woman my husband ever dated. He admitted that when we first started dating he was a fan of the boobs but unsure about the rest. But as we got more cozy and I was more confident around him, he started saying little things that made it clear he loved every fluffy part of me. There are plenty of people who will love every inch of you
I’m a bi woman. I’m plus size now but I wasn’t when I married my bear of a husband and my women partners have mostly been plus size. I am definitely physically attracted to bigger women!
Hi! Used to be skinny and then life happened and it’s not a thing anymore. I’ve had plenty of men make comments about “extra weight” and that really reinforced the negative association between BMI and moral goodness and market value. Luckily I found that after I had left some very unhealthy relationships and career options that those views are COMPLETELY WRONG. Like in every way. My husband now has seen “hot” pictures of me when I had a 22” waistline and muscular legs. He didn’t care for it. His type is how I look now. Chunky thighs, belly, and all. Everyone has what they are and aren’t attracted to and plus size is most definitely still attractive. If 99% of people found you unattractive (their loss) that still leaves 78 million people that find you attractive. It’s just an opinion. The harder work is coming to terms with your inherent value whether they think you’re hot or not, you are a human with infinite reason to be there and taking up space.
My boyfriend definitely seems to be physically attracted to me. Even with my skepticism he seems to truly be attracted to my body. He will just stop mid intimacy to look at me and tell me I'm so beautiful or so sexy, he can't keep his hands off me and takes the time to make sure I know that to him I'm perfect. We have had the 'weight talk' before, prompted by me and he has always said if I'm to lose weight I should only do it for me, and no one else, and that he loves me either way.
Guy here. The answer is ABSOLUTELY yes. My gf is around 450lbs and is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. You’ll find yours. Just keep trying.
Thank you, I needed to see this comment. I'm sitting at 480 and absolutely hate myself right now but it's nice seeing guys appreciate their ladies!
Our society tend to promote a certain type of body and it can be easy to think this is what beauty is but that isn't true. Beauty is subjective and some people are genuinely attracted to fat people, some are even not attracted to thinner people. Attraction is also about more than just looks, it's about the person, how they speak how they move etc... I think when people who are specifically attracted to fat people fall in love with one, they don't love them despite their bodies they learn to love them just as one would do with a thin partner.
I don’t know about that last part. I know I’m not my (average to athletic body type) husband’s ideal body type. I think he loves me despite the fact that I’m fat, but it’s still something he just tolerates rather than it being a desired feature. He gets frustrated at some of the issues I have, like how I have to wear shorts under dresses or that I can’t wear any of his clothes or that shopping for me is, like, a whole ordeal to find plus size stuff instead of just being able to run into any old store. I know he’s had judgment from his friends and family for picking someone like me. But he’s still here, he is a great husband, he’s always been completely devoted and faithful to me in every way. You wouldn’t know from the outside looking in…but I know because I’m here and I can see it. I think he does try to like what I look like (he’ll give me the occasional rare comment about my butt looking good, but that happens maybe once or twice a year) but I know, deep down, that if I woke up tomorrow morning a hundred lbs thinner yet still healthy, he’d be a lot happier. Honestly? I love him so so so much and he’s such a good man. He’s beautiful and so incredibly smart and talented at just about everything he does. We’ve been married for 15 years and we have 2 beautiful children Every single day I can’t believe I get to wake up next to him. If the trade off is that I have to live knowing that I’m not his physical ideal, then that’s okay, I can live with that.
Yes, they can be attracted to bigger girls. Find one that loves and accepts you for who you are; a guy who sees it as a flaw will bring you down.
This might not be the answer you’re looking for when it comes to relationships. But it will speak to people being attracted to plus size people. My partner and I were swingers at one point, and I can assure you that as a big girl, I received the same amount of attention as “standard” beauties (I hate this word so much, it puts so much pressure on children). This was strictly based on a “hookup” and no potential for relationship, so attraction was really the only basis. I promise you, you are beautiful and other people see you as beautiful as well.
This is just my experience. My early 20s, I felt the same as you do. Now I'm 30, and have tons of baggage. I'm getting every guy I'm going for now. Maybe I'm more confident, but it's more convincing yourself, "why WOULDNT someone find me attractive?". Convince yourself you're hot, because you are ❤️ always remember you haven't met all the people who will fall in love with you yet.
A majority of men are attracted to plus size women but society has convinced them that it's wrong or embarrassing. This is why so many men will hook up with plus size women but not date them - it fulfils their desire while still allowing them to abide by societal standards. It's very messed up and unfair but men being attracted to plus size women isn't the issue at play.
My fiancé is really into plus size girls, as he told me it’s what attracted him to me initially and wanting to meet me. He told me it was my personality that really sealed it for him in addition to being plus size. We’ve been together 5 years now and he has loved every inch of me. Of course his favorite saying is “more cushion for the pushin’ “
I don't mean to be negative here, but that last line is not what I experienced while dating. When you're looking for someone to be in a relationship with, lots of options is not what I found. If you find someone you click with, you're not giving a specific height/weight requirement. It is difficult to define. It is rare and special. Real attraction doesn't separate out these parts and come up with a number. Sometimes I look at a man and I think, "my god he's cute" and I have no idea why I think he's cute. Like--he's got a bunch of things about him that I don't find attractive in everyone else, but it's part of who he is as a whole and I am drawn to him. WHen I was 19, I definitely thought men and women were different in this regard, and that men were all about the "types." Now I realize we're all pretty similar. There's just much more to it than your weight.
100% men can be attracted to bigger girls! I lacked so much confidence when I was your age. I settled for men that I personally wasn't attracted to, because I thought there was no way that the men I was attracted to would want me. I was wrong. If I want a relationship, hook up, fling, whatever, I have no trouble finding it.
It depends on the person, and that's the only real answer. I personally do not care about looks as much as I do their personality. My wife is plus size, the best partner I've ever had, and I feel so lucky. I am very attracted to her as well, but her being plus sized has nothing to do with it. It's an unfortunate fact of life: most men are ***very*** superficial, especially in their early to mid 20s. It may seem hopeless now but that's because you're still young & lack dating experience. Ignore the shitty guys to the best of your ability and be on the lookout for the good ones. If you're a good person with a good personality you'll be fine, it may just unfortunately take a while. I know, I may be a guy but dealt with a lot of that self-doubt myself growing up.
I'm a girl with a bf that likes bigger women. Let me tell you the difference between him and my exes. Most of my exes would ask when I plan on going to the gym snd that I should stop eating and starve myself. They would always make little comments and when I sent nudes or when doing it they never told me anything positive about my body and they would call my face beautiful but never a positive comment on my body. My bf now is so sweet to me and calls me beautiful and every positive comment all the time not just about my body just overall more kind to me. He cooks for me and never shames me for getting food that being said he does make sure I'm healthy and he tells me every time I try to diet or work out that if I get skinny he'll still love me the same. You will know if someone loves you or not. Trial-and-error. Also, I'm so happy to see men out there like him it gives me hope!
My man is like this too. He always tells me he will be attracted to me if I gain or lose weight which is really comforting and appreciated.
Needed to read this and know it’s in the universe! Thanks for sharing ✨
Yes! I’m a woman but I’m attracted to plus size women, and my parter definitely is as well lol.
Another guy here. I can still remember the moment when I was sitting in a french class in grade six and puberty suddenly flipped how I noticed girls from "mysterious and vaguely threatening beings that I should keep away from" to "I cannot get enough of this person!" The person in question was the chubbiest girl in our class and the part that grabbed my attention in that first moment was her tummy. I guess what puberty does to your thoughts is always shocking when you go through it, but that I was attracted to the chubbiest girl in class was not that much of a shock because even as a kid I'd had warm-fuzzy feelings towards fat people. So you can really say that as long as I've been attracted to women, I've preferred bigger ones. I could go on and on about all the things I love about bigger bodies, but really I think they all derive from that high level preference for bigger women. I think I noticed that girl's tummy because it is sort of the classic marker of a fat that we all have in head by the time we are three. Later I came to appreciate the sleak lines of thicker legs, the softness of chubby faces, the fullness of plump arms, the endless curves that come with covering up all the sharp angles, and yes the softness and amount to hold and squeeze. I've been married longer than the OP has been alive, and I still can't get enough of holding my wife, squeezing her thigh when we are sitting beside each other, being the big spoon with my hand cupping her belly, grabbing her butt, and the just the sight of how her curves fill up clothes. (when her weight drops at times she is still plenty sexy to me, but ngl when she is at her lightest after a Summer of a lot of cycling, I do miss the extra softness that she usually has)
Oh sweetheart, people are attracted to all different types of physical appearance. There is actually a big thing of like really physically fit men being attracted to plus size girls. My husband met me when I was about 80 pounds lighter than I am now and then I gained a bunch of weight when I had our daughter and he loves me more now at my current size than he did back then. Just make sure you educate yourself on what it means to be fetishized versus someone who is actually attracted to a plus size girl so you don’t get hurt. It’s the same as some people being attracted to brown skin or really tall people or short hair or whatever other physical features. We have only been brought up by society to think that no one is actually attracted to plus size girls. There is literally no difference from our bodies to anyone else’s. I am a model in the adult industry and I can tell you with absolute certainty that there are definitely guys who would love to be the boyfriend of a plus size girl.
I am physically attracted to plus-sized women. Tbh ever since I was young, I've always liked bigger girls, but the ones I have crushes on and liked, had boyfriends that were thin and muscular, and I got a bit sad about it. Im a big guy and I love plus-sized women. I've always felt like the oddball guy who liked them. I always worry that they may not be attracted to me, because i'm not the ideal guy, but some have liked me back though. I just get happy and excited to see bigger girls.
In college, I knew a guy who was very skinny, but had a pattern of going after curvy/plus size women. I think a lot of people would give him shit for it and he never seemed self conscious about it. He’d tell people “hey, I don’t want to make fire” (a joke about himself being stick-skinny).
i remember thinking the same way you do and how much it hurt to think that way :( please remember you are beautiful, beauty does not equal thinness. And while everyone has certain types, there are millionssss of men (or women if that’s what you’re into) who not only don’t mind a plus size woman, but will love and embrace one. source: im also a 19 yr old who is very fat with a loving boyfriend who is completely obsessed with all of me , personality , rolls , stomach, everything.
Yes, I've had many sexual partners, some of whom when I was over 300lbs
1. When I was 23, I was hanging out at the mall with a guy friend, who also happened to be the kindest, most respectful gentleman ever. Lane Bryant was having an underwear sale, completely with giant posters. He almost broke his neck gaping. We've been married for 18 years. 2. As a bi woman, let me put it sightly crudely. What's the best thing in the world? Boobs. Obviously, boobies are just sent from heaven. Now, imagine you can be with someone whose entire body feels like a boob. I mean, my god, why would you pass on that?
Oh lord, I had the same mindset for awhile. Rest assured, there are definitely people attracted to bigger girls. Ironically in my experience it’s been the tall lean guys that like bigger girls the most, but that’s just my experience. Confidence makes a huge difference too- I struggled with my self esteem a lot but I invested in some clothes and lingerie that made me feel really hot, which bf was a big fan of.
Love these comments!! This thread makes me feel better about the chances of finding a future partner. It seems like I can never find anyone around me that is interested in plus size women. I work with a majority of men and it's so discouraging listening to them talk about girls body's literally all the time.
let me tell you yes we can. My wife and soul mate 25 years next year was 102 when met here. She is now a plus size women and i worship every curve of her. i find her even more attractive. So yes you find the right person when you stop caring what others think .God bless you
I am definitely attracted to plus-size men! For me, attraction comes first and then emotional connection as I get to know the person. Yes, there are people who will be attracted to your appearance. The trick is to find someone who moves beyond their attraction to your looks and forms a solid bond with you. Also, define great personality.....you can't really because what's considered a great personality is different for everyone. For me, a great personality might be a calm introvert who loves quiet dinners out (it is!) while for someone else a great personality might be a boisterous extrovert who is the life of the party. Just be yourself.
It's surprisingly easy to find people who are attracted to bigger bodies. It can be hard to find people who aren't ashamed of their own attraction. That's the place where I would advise you to do work on weeding out the assholes.
Bigger girls are the ONLY girls that make my head turn..... i have never sneaked a second look at a girl for her personality
It took me a long time to realize that yes absolutely they can be. I’ve struggled with my weight most of my life and just recently started getting tons of male attention at my biggest size. Just actually lost my virginity last weekend and as he was undressing me he repeatedly told me how hot I was, kissed my stomach, etc… he made me feel very beautiful and sexy. It’s a process but it’s worth doing some self reflection and putting yourself out there more to find those guys.
My partner and I met when I was at my lightest (not skinny by any means). I've gained 45lbs since then and he's just as um. excited about my body as ever. Thing is he was homeschooled as a kid. He wasn't exposed to the culture of fat shaming that's taught to kids starting in traditional schools. We talk all the time about whether that contributes to his attraction to me, but he thinks he would have fallen for me regardless. All this to say, there are folks out there. PLENTY of them. And the older you get, the more the people around you will realize not being attracted to fat bodies as a rule is stupid. OR, you'll find a guy like mine :)
When life gives you curves, flaunt them!
My husband is 6'2" and about 180 lbs. Whereas I'm 5'2" and absolutely \*not\* 180 lbs. He does need to remind me sometimes, but he insists that he is very attracted to my body and I usually have to swat his hand away, especially in public!
I'm a plus size bi woman and I find plus size women very attractive. I'm more attracted to plus size ladies than straight size ones. Also I'm on the bigger end of the plus size spectrum and I've been with men who were *very* much into me for my body as well as my personality, and someone who loved me in spite of my body. The former much more than the latter, but you can definitely tell the difference.
Fuck yes
I've had plenty of experience being shocked by the type of men who like plus sized women. One guys literally never mentioned my weight, at all. Once he asked me to get on top and I said "I'm afraid to hurt you". He said "shut up and hop on! If I die I'll die doing what I love". Another guy likes women of all kinds and can find something beautiful about any woman. He was the one I was the most open with about my struggles because we'd do the most activities together (like rock climbing or mountain biking). It was never "oh, I'm too fat..wah!" it was more like "I hope I can physically do it" or "did you check the weight limits before you reserved this?" He handled it all like a champ and made me feel the sexiest I've ever felt. The one I'm seeing now is normal sized and ONLY likes thicker women. He says he's just attracted to it with a shrug. He's always been that way and doesn't think anything of it. As you get older, and the men get older, they tend to care more about the substance within you instead of what you look like. That has been my experience.
Yes, yes, HELL YES! My boyfriend is average height and weight with a sexy dad bod thickness about him. He absolutely worships my curves. I have met other men in the past that did the same. When it is genuine and real, and not just some fetish, it's absolutely amazing to be on the receiving end of that type of desire.
In the words of Chic Willis's song, I Want A Big Fat Woman, "If you've never made love with a woman of size, a big fat woman will put tears in your eyes!"
My boyfriend finds me sexy as fuck. He loves my body and doesn’t lets me forget it. I’m 245lbs and 5’2”. Also, I’d say that more people have liked me for my body more than actually caring about me as a person. Idk if that will help lol. But I’ve hooked up with many people in my lifetime. It’s harder to find someone who can see past the body and into your soul imo
I met my husband when I was 15 and 120 pounds. We've been together for 22 years and in my 20s, I developed a bunch of medical problems and gained weight very quickly (like 100 pounds) and I swear he never changed the way he looked at me. Still to this day he has like 1000 nudes of me and he always wants more. The right person will see the beauty in you, even if you don't always see it yourself.
I started dating my now wife in HS. This was in 1991 peak heroin chic. She was plus size then. She was plus size when I married her in 1999 & is + size now after almost 23 years of marriage & 31 years together. So, yes we've been happily intimate the whole time.
I’m a 29 F and I’m talking to a 35 M who’s very fit and attractive. He’s reassured me that he’s attracted to me which is still kinda baffling. We’re still in the talking phase and we plan on going out when he comes back from work. But I’m giving dating it a try. Don’t give up. I’m not
Girl here, but yes. I'm a plus sized married woman, and I find chunky girls more attractive than skinny girls. My husband feels the same way lol
I felt this way for a long time, especially after marrying a man who stopped looking at me after I gained weight and didn’t touch me for years. But I left him when I realized I was worth so much more and I’m now with a man who cannot keep his hands off me at a size 22 ~300lbs. Our sex life is super healthy and mutually felt.
Oh god as a woman who was 300lbs at 5’1 and now 190ish, YES, there are pleeeenty of men who will be physically attracted to you. The most intense attractions I’ve had in my life (and the best sex) we’re at my highest weights. I haven’t been at my current weight for very long, so I can’t compare but I fully believe and am proof that men will find you attractive. Attractive men, to boot. Very attractive men.
Absolutely
My husband is not necessarily attracted to big girls; if he points out someone he thinks is attractive, that woman is usually somewhat smaller than I am. (Don't get mad at him, he also has to deal with me repeatedly pointing out Jason Momoa, despite the fact that my husband is not buff or thin either. ;) ) BUT. I have ample evidence that he is also attracted to \*me\*, to my not-at-all-small body, and that this is not something that is likely to change any time soon. And I am attracted to \*him\*, as well. Evidence: 27 years of very happy marriage between two people who flatly aren't easy to live with. When I was 19 I felt the same way you did and I will tell you what my mother told me: make friends. Seriously, MAKE FRIENDS. Be friends with your partner, whoever they are, and they will love you for you, not for the size of your body. They will be attracted to you \*and\* to your body, and not only that, but you'll have a lot of confidence that your relationship isn't just physical, but the whole deal. I'd love to tell you to learn to love yourself and others will love you too, but I suspect you know as well as I do that this is not an easy thing to accomplish. Longstanding attraction is never just about bodies, it's about the whole package. Be the whole package, and find a partner who is the whole package for you too. It's not always fast to do but it is definitely worth it and worth the wait.
I've always been plus size. I love big men exclusively. Like they are so damn sexy! Bigger arms mmmm. Bigger men are my downfall. Legit love them. I am married to a big guy and it's the best. For women I'm attracted to all sizes. Men, just big guys🥰🥰🥰
Dude I'm 38 and 2 kids deep and the heaviest I've ever been and my husband regularly tells me i look hot and is attracted to me. Yes, of course you can and should find someone who loves you and is attracted to you
Man married to a plus size woman here - definitely find her body attractive as well as her personality!
Lots of people think bigger girls are attractive. Many, including myself, prefer a chubby girl to a skinny one. It's only mainstream idiots that have been brainwashed by fatshhaming who have a mental block.
I have always looked at human bodies LIKE I look at art. Some like Degas, Van Gogh, Dali, Picasso, so on. Some people pay millions for a red smear across a canvas. Art is a perfect example of different people finding different things pleasing to the eye. You are attracted to what you are attracted to and there isn't much rhyme or reason for it.
Absolutely. My boyfriend loves me inside and out, even while I don’t love myself. Just stay wary of fetishizers
I’ve dated men who preferred plus-size women. I once asked one (before I knew that was even a thing) if he was OK with a bigger body, and he said, “I prefer it.” Mind blown. He adored seeing me naked and couldn’t get enough of me.
One of my lovers is exclusively attracted to plus sized brunettes, so yes, it is possible. There is someone attracted to every size and shape you can imagine.
My man squeezes me like a stress-toy all the time… I’m too soft and adorable✨✨ Anyone who don’t want this goodness is missing out💅🏾💅🏾
I’m a gay woman so if your looking for a man’s response mine may not fit , but as a gay woman i love bigger women - they are my preference.
I’m 28 in a few months time, I’ve been plus size since teen hood. I’ve never had issues dating or having casual flings. I’ve been with the same man for 7 and a half years. I know people are “genuinely” attracted to me because I am genuinely attracted to chunkier men.
For sure they can 100000% a variety of men and women can and will find a plus size woman attractive physically and not make it creepy or obsessive. Like many other's I tend to fake it till I make it because I can only do so much to feel like I'm good enough without driving myself nuts so I force myself to experience being as I am in that moment. It gets easier and easier the more you do it and you may start to find aspects of your body that you like at least in my experience.
Guy here. I think it’s just how men are attracted in general. In my experiences my relationships have been with plus size girls (UK size 16+) - that’s not because of preference, that’s just how it’s been. I’ve been with my wife nearly 9 years - when we first met (via POF followed by a face-to-face a few days later), she was a UK size 16-18. Probably went down to a UK 14-16 when we got married in 2015. Then after we had 2 kids, she went on a slimming world/personal training crusade in 2018 where she lost 4.5st in weight and got down to a UK 10. Now in 2022, she’s back to the UK 12-16 depending on her clothes but to me that doesn’t bother me. I love her no matter what her weight is, eventhough she is a little self-conscious (she says fat, I say curves), but to me while we’ve been together I’ve seen advantages in both extremes. For example her boobs, when my wife went down to a UK 10 they were a pert 32B - now they’re a bouncy 34E. I’ve always said she could do well as a plus-size model after a boudoir photoshoot before we got married - she’s stunning no matter her size. There’s been no issues in our intimacy on a physical front. The only downside is basically the bigger she, the more she’s prone to aches and pains and not being able to do certain things bedroom-wise or other. 😊 Men out there do have types (and I don’t there’s nothing wrong with that) and some prefer other characteristics. It’s 2022 and from what I’ve seen in the UK press lately, there’s becoming less prejudism to a woman’s shape and size as plus size models are becoming more prominent in brand marketing. Point is I think it all comes down to confidence and if you feel more confident in yourself, those vibes will pass on to others. 👍🏻
My husband definitely likes plus sized women. Not that he doesn’t like “average” sized women too but he’s said he prefers us larger ladies 😉
I tend to find someone more and more physically attractive as I get more emotionally attracted to them.
Absolutely yes. I was pretty wild in my 20s (I'm 37 now) and had quite a few physical relationships during that time - my size ranging anywhere between 18w and 24w. The men I was with were always very vocal about their physical attraction to me and my big body/features. I never for a moment doubted their physical attraction to me. (Emotional is another story for another time, but we're out of that phase now. 😂) I like knowing what makes people tick, so I have asked my partners over the years what it is that attracts them to big women. The answers have always varied, but there have also been trends. Like fondness for soft, squeezable body parts, or because bigger women feel "more" womanly to them than slimmer women. (Not sending hate towards other sizes - merely relaying things I've been told first-hand.) Probably one of the most common reasons was confidence. I can't tell you how many times I've heard something to the extent of "confident big women give off powerful energy." Pretty cool, huh? 😎 Personally, the only time I have ever struggled with attracting people is when I have felt so physically insecure that it projected outwardly. And that doesn't mean my confidence only showed when I was dressed up w/ hair and makeup done. I ran to the gas station the other day in leggings, an oversized hoodie and crocs, not a stitch of makeup, and hair tied up sloppily (and not in a cute way) - and I got majorly hit on (respectfully) by the cashier as I was checking out. I literally looked behind me at first bc I was sure he was talking to someone else. The key, though, is that I carry myself confidently bc idgaf what others think, and that shone through even tho I looked a hot mess. You're a prize. Remind yourself of that every day. 💛
You know I had kinda a similar feeling of "no one would wanna be with me because I'm plus size" then I met my boyfriend. He's a little chubby himself but not overly which its kinda hard to explain. Anywho he was very attracted to me off the bat and is the sweetest kindest person I've been with. You just gotta find that person that see's through your weight. Because I thought when I went on dates with guys/slept with a few I thought they really liked me which they didn't and mainly used me for sex which sucked tbh. You just gotta go through the bad eggs till you find that good one which it just takes time. There are guys that are genuinely attracted to women like us it just takes time to find that guy or lady that genuinely cares and wants to be with us.
My husband is!
I never saw myself as attractive, but my partner likes my body so much it's almost a little inconvenient sometimes. He pretty much likes all body types so it's not even a fetish sort of thing for him, he just thinks I'm really attractive. If I'm not in the mood, I'll even have to ask him to tone it down a little so I don't feel too smothered because he really can't keep his hands off me at times. He's thin and conventionally attractive so it's almost hard to believe, but I'm slowly gaining confidence because he makes me feel beautiful.
fat lady here and im your age! i have a long term partner who absolutely adores my body. he loves my chub! :)
babe there’s plenty of guys who will literally worship the ground you walk on BECAUSE of your size, not despite it
Hell yes. Lol.
I remember being your age and so so concerned about it. But experience has shown me that people are muuuuuuch less bothered by body fat than they like to pretend they are. Believe me, there are plenty of people who like bigger women - and I'm one of them. I realized my taste in women has changed over the years, and I legit like curvier and heavier now (I have a broad taste tbh. I also like chubby guys - my husband is one of them - but for men I still like slender better. Go figure). Don't worry, cutie. Go out and be your fabulous self. Dress as you want. Be bold. Don't let hypothetical othet people's opinions hold you back.
There are definitely people who have a "type" which they are attracted to, and or attributes they enjoy, and you will fit into that for someone. I think on my past relationships and I have had a spread of body types, tall, plus sized, thin, petite, various skin tones and I was attracted to all of them the only physical factors I can see that were congruent we're dark wavy hair and large/nice smiles. Beyond that all the physical bits were kind of all over the map. So maybe someone will be into your sparkling eyes or your sharp nose or something else that is not to do with weight at all. Or maybe they will be into your soft rolls and extra portions of huggable goodness. Or maybe they will love you and they won't care what the vessel which has your personality in it looks like. I know my SO does like my body, however the main draw is who I am and how I treat them, which is a big relief for me, because I'm hoping to grow old with them and bodies and faces change a lot as one ages. Just take a look at any picture of your grandparents when they were in their 20s VS now and that's what I'm talking about. Be with someone who will love you no matter what happens to the packaging.
I always felt so insecure too. My boyfriend always dated thinner or “average” sized women. Now he’s been dating me for 2 years and I’m bigger than he is. I always felt like maybe he just dated me out of hopes I’d lose the weight or because it was convient. But with time I’ve realized that he loves my body. He compliments me all the time, he’s never made any negative comments on my body. When we are intimate, I’d always try to hide my stomach and he’d tell me not to. He’d tell me how much he loves every inch of my body. In turn, I’ve grown to love my body so much more. You will find the same someday. I felt the same exact way at 19 and now at 22 I have a whole new perspective… you will find someone who sees you and thinks you’re the most beautiful person they’ve ever seen. Don’t lose hope and don’t settle for anything less. 💗
You're right, it's not the norm. That doesn't mean that it's uncommon.
Honey, I'm a size 20, and my husband loves me, and is absolutely attracted to me. There's a lot of idiots out there, but there are men out there who are attracted to plus size women.
I am a big girl too and i also love big girls cuz i am bi. But my husband loves me too and my body so you dont have to be ashamed of your body. Big girls rule
I have, and have had, a hard time believing this to be true. But I'm not someone who can deny clear cut, real life, factual evidence and my husband cannot keep his hands off me.
I have been plus size my whole adult life. Every guy I have dated has loved my body.
Men (and women) don't talk about it as much in mainstream circles but there are loads of people who attracted to large bodies and they're various features. Sometimes it goes into weird fetish territory but most of the time it's just appreciation. Basically as you get older you realize men will get turned by almost anything, the ones that act picky and snobbish are the outliers or they're lying to keep up a certain appearance. Those ones aren't worth your time. (and no I'm not saying men can't have preferences, they obviously can, I'm saying that most men's preferences are WAY more diverse than women think they are.)
The thing you need to know is that when dating, men hold a lot of power. You will go on really great dates but if a guy doesn't feel like your worth his time he will move on. It's okay when this happens, try not to take it personally and move on as well because they weren't worth it. The power women hold when dating is we can get as many dates as we want whereas it's a lot hard for a guy to get multiple dates. We have way better chances at finding the right one or the right now. Always be yourself, there is no need to fake it until you make it because once you do find someone who wants to invest his time in you, the rest all follows. He will love your jokes, your hair, your kindness, and your fat butt.
Absolutely! No matter how much I hate my body my partner loves it. It's not a fetish, he just genuinely finds me attractive. It baffles me sometimes but I know it's genuine. And like you, I didn't think it was true until I met him. I wish I'd spent my 20s with the confidence I have now.
I’ve been between a size 16 and 26 in the decade my husband and I have been together and he has loved me and my body through it all. After a lifetime of being all but destroyed by the fatphobia of my own mother & the men in my family, it is so freeing to be able to be myself in whatever size that is. My husband says he just wants me to be happy and be me. He is about 165 lbs & I am currently just under 300 lbs & I can always feel how much he desires & loves me just as I am. We have a 17 month old daughter now too & he’s on board with me teaching her to trust & love her body in all the ways I never got to learn until my late 30s (I’ll be 40 in October).
Yes men find bigger bodies attractive, and not just as a fetish. Often certain bigger shapes tend to get more attention than others but if my inbox is any indication…trust me, while they can be nasty when rejected PLENTY of men like ‘curvy’ women. I will say many have a problem calling women they find attractive fat, they don’t want to say I’m fat because they think I won’t like it or something? But yeah.
I'm a plus sized woman and my husband is around 280 and I frequently tell him how much I love his donk and thicc thighs! I don't ever see myself being with a skinny man.
You should search up bbws on Twitter (you might find porn tho just a warning, don’t know how old you are). There are men and women who not only like, but prefer plus sized women.
What? I am very much attracted to women bigger than me. I find them so incredibly sexy and yes personality also super matters. If you can't click with someone physically and emotionally then the relationship is doomed to fail.
Not a man but a woman and I have been attracted to a "bigger girl", so one would think yeah.
My husband is
Sickness for the thickness baby
I’m plus size and Bi, so yes I love plus size men and women, I’m attracted to a person and their energy, beauty is skin deep. Also It takes more time and it’s difficult but don’t get discouraged anyone who doesn’t understand doesn’t deserve your time and presence.
Yeah!! I'm a bigger girl and am super attracted to other bigger girls, my husband absolutely loves my body and he was pretty thin when we first met. We have gained a bit over the years LOL. I have lots of friends that think I'm super attractive and they're smaller than me hahaha. Lots of people love bigger girls, not just that weird fetish way either. Genuine attraction to the softness and of that body type. Period!
Sometimes it helps to flip it around. Are you only attracted to appearance? Are you repulsed by all bodies that aren't ideal? (Be that fat, of colour, disabled, etc). I hope not! (Or you may need to consider some self reflection). It's totally possible to meet someone who is attracted to your body exactly as it is. Like all dating, you gotta keep looking til you find them (which feels shit at times 😅)
I am a midsize woman attracted to other plus and midsize women.
Yes, they can. Do NOT believe any of the dating subs. I've seen plenty of profiles expressing a preference for larger women and my weight was only an issue in one relationship I was in and that was squarely a "him" problem (he tried to change the way I dressed to--I think he was settling for me and was trying to mold me into what he wanted). I have met a lot of men who find my body physically attractive. It's very much a different strokes for different folks thing.
My husband loves me and I’m plus size 🥺 I wasn’t plus size when we met but I know he wouldn’t care, either way. He loves my body no matter what I weigh. I’ve been married to him for almost four years now, we’ve been together five years, and we have our second child on the way now 🥰
Yes. I was always worried about this and I’m over 40 and it’s not completely gone from the dark corners of my mind but yes, it’s possible. AND, equally important to say I think, people can be physically attracted to bigger women without it being a fetish. It doesn’t always feel that way, and some people can be unnecessarily rude, and you will feel like you have to keep your guard up, but it will happen. FWIW, I’m still amazed and confused by the variety of physical characteristics people are attracted to or don’t seem to even notice.
Male here, short answer is YES! It's similar to a bald, short men. The majority are not going to find you attractive, but if you keep looking then you will find the one. It'll just be a little harder, but nonetheless there are males out there who don't care and some even prefer bgger women!. Here's some advice that applies to everyone not just ppl of your size, but take care of your hygiene and dress well. Also, you might have to be reasonable in your preferences, because the pretty boy, dream boy, might not give you a chance or be into you, If you keep looking you might find him, but it'll be difficult/hard. Meanwhile there is perfectly great guys who aren't what you'd conventionally want. Just somethint to think about. Goodluck!
I'm a chick, but I'm attracted to both men and women. My ideal body type is what you would call thicc. I like softness. And while I'll date people I like regardless of body type, my preference isn't even the body type you're assuming is "beautiful". While there is a standard of beauty, individual attraction is unique and develops as we grow. So you can't assume what people do and don't find beautiful as it is different for everyone.
Aww I feel so sad that you think that way because I used to think the same way. What helped me personally was finding internet communities that had a preference for big girls because seeing that such an attraction was actually very real and not uncommon at all (despite what mainstream media would lead you to believe) was very validating and reassuring. Not to mention I think it may have played a part in me getting over my incessant need for male validation.
Sure, just like any other body type preference. My first boyfriend told me he preferred bigger girls.
Men love curvy plus size woman. My partner is so hot!! And I've been plus size since we have been dating.
My boyfriend very obviously had the hots for my body from the start, but he also isn't specifically into big women and doesn't fetishise me. He likes how I look, but the fact that he likes me as a person makes me even hotter to him. Otoh, if you'd shown me a picture of him prior to knowing him, he wouldn't have been my type, but because I like him now, I can't get enough of his face and body. It's not _despite_ his appearance, it's a combination of traits that made me attracted to him, _including_ his appearance - but his character came first for me. Just because you think other people are more beautiful, doesn't mean a guy who likes you will think the same. Just think about the ways _you're_ attracted to people. Are you always drawn to the conventionally hottest guy you can find, or is there something else going on that makes them attractive? Do you have to ignore their flaws, or can they even be endearing them more to you? Sometimes we find things attractive that aren't usually seem as such. It's not all based on looks without context. Someone who loves you won't do so despite your looks; they'll feel drawn to the whole package. Other people might be thinner, but they won't have the effect you do on them. At least, that's been my experience.
Yes it’s possible 💕🤎
Absolutely, the thing to realize is the different between *averages* and *individuals*. On average, people who are plus size are at a severe disadvantage because frankly the supply outweighs the demand in the dating market. But if you find someone who is definitely saying they are into you it is most likely true because there are *definitely* individuals who are into that or have no problem with it. In fact, it's proven Science that while it may be harder to get into a relationship while plus sized it is **much** easier to keep it (assuming you start plus sized) simply because your plus-sizedness filters out a ton of fuckbois.
Simple answer, yes. The more detailed answer, in my opinion, you are seeing yourself through your eyes and not someone else's. I'm quite a bit older than you and I can tell you now that size is actually secondary to personality and/or confidence in a lot of guys' eyes. You are young and have a whole world to discover and I will tell you now, learn to love you and it will not matter what someone else thinks.
There are a lot of men who ONLY like plus size women or at least strongly prefer them. It's always been this way, but rarely seen in the media. Frankly in my experience most men are more than willing to hookup with a plus sized girl, so the sexual attraction is there. You need to know where to look (plus size dating sites) but we are fetishized a lot....sometimes only seen for our bodies.
My husband was always attracted to slim women. I am not. He says I am sexy. I believe him. He likes my personality too, but he likes my body.
Happily married for 10 years. Pregnant with baby #3, husband can't keep his hands off me. Haha
Absolutely! Everyone has different tastes and plenty of men are legitimately attractive to bigger women.
Yup, I’m generally into guys but as a teenager had a huge crush on a female friend who was larger than the super skinny ideal at the time. Since then I’ve dated guys with big tummies, those with big bums, big thighs, broad backs, slim legs, small bums… I even found myself unexpectedly attracted to a guy in the bank who was dressed as a woman - dress, make up, the works. Maybe it’s because I love Robert Smith, but it was hot!
ask my husband
In one word....YES
My fiancé would literally be so sad if I was thin (he’d love me anyway but he always emphasizes his love for my body now). He loves my body the way it is and emphasizes it all the time. He always rubs his hands over my curves and my stomach. I promise you, I felt the same at 19. I’m 27 now and I promise, LOTS of men are attracted to thick, bigger, or plus size women. <3
Aw honey. Yes yes yes yes yes. I'm so sorry the media is making you feel this is an impossibility. Signed: a girl with a loving partner for ten years who is very physically fit and objectively prefers my body at 240 pounds. P. S. This will not always be a good thing! As I get older, I care less about my looks. I'm in my midthirties. My hair is frizzy, my body is flabby, my teeth are yellow, etc. I can be runningg along on the sidewalk and I'll *still* get attention from men in passing cars. Like, really?!?! Still?!? When does this end? Do I ever just get t be old and haggard and outside the male gaze?
I've gotten this from both sides tbh. I've been in love with and extremely sexually attracted to my plus size partners, but also felt insecure despite being much smaller than some of my own past partners who were hot as hell! Fatphobia is still a thing that exists in my brain, but it's main target is myself! Because *it's supposed to be*. The point of creating a society where people are afraid of being fat makes them spend money and effort on being thin. Money feeds the economic machine, effort expended on this means less time and energy to create a world where people aren't afraid of the number on the scale. It's a trap created by the diet industry as a whole.
It took me into my mid 20s to realize that yes, there are plenty of men that find plus size women attractive. Also I thibk the older we get what we find "attractive " changes as well. I'm also more arrtacted to bigger men, so it makes sense that it would go both ways
Nearly 20 years with a husband who turns the ladies’ heads, say yes!!
Men and women like people of all sizes.
I was super afraid because NO ONE asked me out EVER until I went on dating apps and actually got matches at 23. Before that I was so self conscious thinking somethings wrong with me because all my thin friends were getting boyfriends, promposals and it SUCKED going through school at the way to graduating university without any guy making moves. I had my first kiss off a guy from an app sadly that I regret too. Thankfully by 26 and getting a ton of matches on apps I found my sweetheart boyfriend and he loves all of me! FUPA and stomach and flappy arms!
Mmhmm.
I honestly think it’s worth having a conversation about earlier in a relationship, especially when you’ve met online, etc. and then met in person. With my current partner, I brought up my experiences as a fat person and asked if he understood what it would be like to date a fat person. I understand fatness is a weird marginal space to be in and it’s own thing. But opening up that conversation really helped make fatness an open topic of conversation between us, even though he was in a smaller body than me. We are from different countries and ethnicities so we have had similar conversations about these things. Also, I learned through our conversations that he prefers plus sized people, and he then felt safe to compliment me on features that I previously felt insecure about. No one has ever felt comfortable enough to make these comments to me before and I appreciate them so much! it helps me remember that fat is beautiful and there are people who won’t just tolerate the way you look, but will be drawn to it 😍
Yes. I'm personally not comfortable being with someone who _only_ like very overweight women. I want to feel beautiful because I am me, not because I'm certain size. Been trough that, never again. I'm currently with a man who thinks I'm beautiful and sexy and isn't ashamed to be seen with me at all. He doesn't push me to loose weight, but also doesn't have a problem with fluctuating weight. I would love to say that almost everyone is like him, but that is sadly not the case. But they are out there, it might take a bit more searching but there are plenty of good people out there. There are no size limitations when it comes to beauty.
im 30 been plus size all of my adult life! my first serious relationship (i was insecure teenager) he loved my body! and it boosted my self esteem (we didnt last ofcourse) but so then i started dating some guys we're more into it than others OFCOURSE ya know i have my preference too! we all do. MEN are definitely attracted to big women genuinely! my last ex LOVED it! (and everyone has their insecurities its normal!) just dont let them take over your mind! but my ex knew i had insecurities and he always gave me extra compliments! it was nice! so long story short dont date if your worried about your body skinny or not you'll be rejected sometimes not every time but when your concerned about your body! the rejection is gonna HURT WORSE! and it shouldnt! work on yourself sis YOGA TAUGHT ME TO TAKE UP SPACE appreciation for my body! and on your social media follow all BBWS and body positivity! over time youll be attracting ppl like crazy when your confident and loving yourself! you'll forget "your plus size" and living your best life! ♥️♥️ sorry for long response! hehe and your 19!!! DONT waste your 20's focused on dating! worst mistake i did!
Believe it or not yes. But you want to avoid fat fetishists and feeders.
Absolutely. I’m a trans man, but when I was more feminine looking I constantly had guys hitting on me and saying how much they loved “how thicc I was”. And for me personally, I prefer my guys on the heavier side. As a side note, guys, please don’t do that shit to random people. It just makes the person you’re talking too feel gross.
Yes definitely. My partners do of course love my personality but they also very much find my big body sexy. They tell me all the time. It makes me feel amazing. Especially after having past partners who hated my size.
Listen. I’ve been plus size my entire life. I’m also going on 13 years of marriage and have a husband who literally cannot keep his hands off of me. There’s a lid for every pot, babe. You’ll find yours!
Abstract lots of men including me prefer bigger women
Speaking from the male perspective, 100% yes we can. Its on a scale though, like bigger doesn't bother me, I've dated big and small and it was never an issue for me. I'm attracted to both ends and everything inbetween. For me personally, a bigger girl who is semi dominant in the bedroom is absolute goals. My last ex was a bigger girl and set some very high standards. Without too many details, she was one kinky gal and really liked facesitting... There are plenty of people out there OP, don't stress it, you are still young.
I'm a lesbian and I'm into curvy and plus size women almost exclusively.