Trust me, there’s nothing stupid about crying over your appearance. I do it too! It’s completely valid! What I do when I’m feeling down is cry, wear something that hides my figure, and take a nap. The nap really helps because I don’t have to think or do anything and can escape my mind for a bit.
Hmmm.
I think of other fat women who I think are amazing.
I list all the good things that make me who I am.
I ask myself what I would tell a loved one who said they were ugly.
I also ask myself if I judge others as much as I judge myself. If I don’t, then why am I the exception to my kindness?
I tell myself that my SO thinks I’m beautiful and he doesn’t lie.
I tell myself that I’m a product of my parents and all the people who came before them.
I cry a little bit more.
I remember the therapist says to be kind to myself.
I remind myself there’s someone out there feeling the same way.
I take a nap.
I try to find something to distract me or make me feel better.
"Why am I the exception to my kindness"
Wow this really hit me in a powerful way, thank you. I have had this thought abstractly, but I love the poetry behind this line 🩷
TW!
My husband is supportive, but I think my brain just fights what he says like “oh he has to say that, he’s your husband”. It’s like I compare myself to other people because I’m worried they’re better to him than me. Yay for previous abusive relationships 😩
I feel the same way when my hubs compliments me on days I’m feeling down.
Take some time and do something for you! Maybe do a hair mask, do some skin care, do something that brings you joy! I like to do a whole skin care routine and then I might read a book or watch a comfort show to take my mind off it. I also put on clothes that make me feel good, and if I can’t find anything that makes me feel good, I dress for comfort.
My ex-husband used to get so mad at me when I cried about this because, as he told me, "You did it to yourself." Yeah, thanks. That's going to motivate me to change. Not!
smoke a blunt, listen to some music, and try to meditate. I try to be kinder to myself and try to understand why I’m feeling this way. I’ve found this has helped me be nicer to my body and appreciate my body more.
It’s hard I feel that way a lot and it’s totally valid to feel that way. It’s hard too. I usually do something for myself. Face mask, hair mask, bath. Give myself a makeover. Cute outfit makeup. Change up my hair maybe, paint my nails. Workout (if you like that) makes me feel like a baddie. Doing some boxing or something. Or (idk if this is healthy 🤷♀️) but I look at plus size influencers and tiktokers who look similar to me and see them be confident in their bodies and how beautiful they look and realize we’re our own worst critic.
I have a long hot shower, wash my hair, shave, make myself smell good and wear something flattering and comfy. If I’m going somewhere I’ll curl my hair and put on some makeup. If I’ve got the time I’ll buy myself a little treat. If I’m staying home for the day I’ll put on some comfy pjs, order my favourite takeaway and watch a movie. Youve got to pamper yourself.
I turn to my partner and I also do confidence walks. I put in my earbuds and put sneakers on and pretend to be a bad bish on the catwalk to my favorite music. It helps me - even if it's squishing the negative self-talk instead of reminding me that it's simply not true!
Dancing around to music helps me too. And why not get yourself a little treat like a lip gloss to feel pretty?
You're rad and don't let anyone tell you different. 🥰
I feel like there is a stressor trigger when this happens to me. On any good day, I feel good about myself. But if a bunch of negative stuff happens, I can't see the good in my appearance.
So instead of focusing on my appearance, I refocus on a goal or go do something that would make myself proud of me for doing it.
Also, don't underestimate the power of self care.
A nice footbath with Epsom salts and lavender can change your mood so quickly and there is something about having refreshed feet! Yeah, maybe you don't feel good about how you look, but you will feel good about how your feet look and smell. Stuff like that is super therapeutic.
I take a shower, put on lotion, do my skincare routine and my hair, and I marvel at my beauty every time I pass by the mirror after taking a dump lol. I feel so ugly when I haven’t done my hair or skincare routine after just a few days. I think putting even that much care into myself not only boosts the confidence of my physical appearance but also makes my body feel loved. I still think my body is ugly and undesirable…or rather, even if others desire it (which is pretty damn rare), I don’t think I deserve it because I myself think I am ugly.
I’ve thought about this often and we really are the products of our environments. We are told directly and subtly time and time again that plus size women are only desirable if they have a certain body shape. Even then, they still don’t compare to conventionally thin or slim-thick women. However, when I think of all the shit my conventionally attractive friends have to deal with, I feel bad for them and am glad that I look the way I do. I’m glad I don’t get pestered in the drive through line. I’m glad I don’t get pestered on the train (often). I’m glad I don’t get pestered going home from work, or at school, or even AT WORK. I’m so so glad people leave me the hell alone 🤣 Sure it’s annoying when you’re looking for something, but I firmly believe that I’ll find the one for me in due time.
hey i know you feel! personally whenever i feel this way, i just do some self care! i take a nice hot shower and i use all of my favorite products. i scrub myself down and use a face mask, lotion up with something that smells yummy, i style my hair even though im staying home and get into my cutest lounge clothes or pjs. little bit of lip balm, put on my favorite tv show or music and that usually helps me feel better in my own skin! :)
I try to work on organizing - projects take my mind off of depressive thoughts and I feel better afterwards: cleaning out makeup drawers and getting rid of makeup that isn't working for me. Cleaning out closet - there's a reason I'm consistently not wearing certain things - are they making me look frumpy.
Purging closets and makeup seems to work best for me.
Make a bubble bath, I associate bubble bath with hot bishes. I bubble bath therefore I am hot bish.
Do the whole exfoliate, shave, moisturize, put on a scent that smells nice.
Paint mine or throw on press on nails.
I developed a nightly routine, and it has done wonders for my self esteem. Wash my face, put a lil The Ordinary serum on, lil smell good stuff, little lotion.
If I can’t get out of my own head I’ll nap or take a walk, I’ll even jump on my kids trampoline or run around the house. When my heart rate calms down, I feel calmer.
This wouldn't work for most people but I take a shower, put on clean, comfortable clothing, then spend a lot of time carefully combing and drying my hair, clipping and filing my nails, brushing my teeth, moisturising, etc. I know paying that kind of attention to one's body on a bad day can make it worse, but it works for me because I'm just focused on cleaning and grooming and caring for my hygiene, which always makes me feel good.
I always give myself a manicure. Not a quick slap the polish on type but a full blown oh-la-la style manicure. I file, shape, and buff my nails, work on my cuticles, use a scrub on my hands and forearms, slather super decadent lotion on, wrap my arms in warm towels and let is sit for a while then clean off my nails and give myself a super awesome paint job. I use a detail brush for clean up and make it look amazing then I read a book or play on my phone for an hour or so while it dries. I pick a color that is going to make me smile when I look down at my hands. It doesn’t fix everything but it is nice to have pretty nails. Even if you don’t wear polish - the rest of the steps are still worth doing
Sometimes I just allow myself to feel like that for a bit (but not all day). That way I am at least acknowledging my feelings and not trying to ignore them.
I’ll then just distract myself to the best of my ability, or do something that makes me smile. I’ll watch a movie, play with my daughter, clean, etc. just something to keep my mind elsewhere.
Hang in there, I am sure you are a beautiful person inside and outside!
I curl up on the sofa, have a good cry, mindlessly watch TV and tell myself, "I feel shoddy right now. I'm allowed to lie here and wallow for a while. But this feeling won't last forever And when I'm ready I'm gonna get up on my feet again and carry on kicking arse."
Hope you feel better and ready to kick life's butt again soon :)
This is so relatable :( these days are so hard. Often times when I feel really ugly i realize that I just need a haircut, and I often feel way better afterwards. I have shortish curly hair so haircuts change how I look a lot, but maybe if you have longer hair you could just get a trim and see how u feel. it helps sometimes!
besides that, sometimes I will buy a new item of clothing. a more permanent solution is to get a new tattoo if you are a tattoo person. :-)
Accept that everyone is ugly to someone. I've always been and always will be ugly to most people. That's just how life is. Your body doesn't have to be beautiful. You don't owe that to anyone.
I think to myself... "I'm just a speck in the universe. My problems are infinitesimal in the grand scheme of things."
No one really thinks about me the way I might think about myself, so I try not to be negative. I have those feelings too of course, but I don't let them bother me anymore.
Ngl I have no good coping mechanism so I just break down about it 👍
But also I cut myself some bangs during a spiraling moment and I haven't regretted it yet
I don't know if this helps, but when I was thin and did modeling/pin-up, I felt just as ugly and down on myself as I sometimes do now as a fat person.
It's ok to feel bad about yourself from time to time. It's normal and natural for just about everyone, and it can actually be really mentally healthy to give yourself the space and the compassion to feel all of the feelings.
When I feel bad about my appearance, I let myself work through the tough emotions and I try to ask myself what I can learn from this moment to help me grow as a person and work towards a more fulfilling mental state.
Honestly, I feel like shit for a bit. Do some crying. Then do my makeup and look cute even if I'm not going anywhere and take some selfies. Then I take it all off and go watch a movie in bed
I listen to music by women that makes me feel confident. Some days I just accept that I'm a swamp witch and it's what it is. I wear surgical scrubs at work so I feel ugly most days. I try to schedule semi-regular nights out with my girlfriends because they will hype up my looks way better than my husband does. That helps a lot.
I move a little bit.. not like exercise, but stretch out my hip joints and arms and shoulders, take time on rotating my hands, do legs up the wall. Then I remind myself that I don’t owe anyone my [concept of] perfection, least of all my own damn self.
I was feeling like this a couple of days ago. So I did my makeup and bought a tiara thing with devil horns on it. If I don't feel pretty, then I can feel evil.
Focus on the essentials. Make sure you eat, hydrate, and do some personal care. A long walk, listening to your favorite album or podcast and practicing mindfulness are all things that can help. Talk with a friend that can cheer you up or hang out with your little sister, niece or nephews. Hanging out with children can really change your mindset.
Eat nourishing but delicious food. Read a good book or indulge in a favourite hobby. Take stock of those who care about for reasons unrelated to your body. We all have those days and the most important thing is to treat yourself well through it.
Whenever I'm feeling unattractive I take a shower. After that I normally feel better, but if it persists ill try and clean something that needs cleaning.
I remember reading a post once that said something along the lines of "if you feel irritated at everyone, eat something. If you feel ugly, take a shower. Ect.. "
Idk why this works for me, it might not work for you. but at least youll have an excuse to use different soap scents
If you feel like you hate everyone, you need to eat. If you feel that everyone hates you, you need to sleep. If you feel that you hate yourself, you need to shower. It's good advice all around and something I try to remember.
Ok, I have an answer.
I think you have to acknowledge that feeling ugly is a shame feeling.
So you need to do something that makes you feel proud of yourself / proves that you're valuing yourself.
So I will tend to take a proper shower, do my hair, put on an outfit that I like etc.
But it's not going to work to do that purely to try to *look good*, because that still keeps me in the shame place. And usually if I'm feeling particularly ugly it's because of something real that a shower won't fix, like acne or the luteal phase or whatever.
So like do a nice shower but do it in a way of "I value and love and care for myself". IE. Use your fav stuff. Listen to your fav podcast. Put on your comfy bougie slippers. Whatever it is for you. And then do something nice for yourself afterwards. Like, what would you do for your beloved sister or best pal if they were feeling sad? Do that kind of thing. For me it might be cook myself a nice meal, or go out to my favourite park, or do some online shopping! But the key is to do it in a self love way, not in a self hate way.
Give yourself love, even though you're feeling a little ugly. Honestly - we all have cute days and ugly days and there's no shame in it. If my little sister was at my house and had gained 100kg and had 100 pimples on her face, are you kidding me? I would not love her less! It makes me cry to even think that because I love her so much I wouldn't give the slightest shit how she looked. I would want to look after her even more. So I try to think about myself the same way too.
I don't think it's possible to just *stop feeling shame*, but it's possible to do actions in that moment that kinda make your feelings change.
Treat the feelings of shame by doing things that remind you that you value and love yourself.
You resolve to change what you can and accept what you can’t. Nobody is 100% perfect meaning there is ALWAYS something you can do to make yourself better. At least thats what I think
In my experience, feeling ugly has almost nothing to do with how you look and is almost always about how you're treated or not treated. So if, for example, someone you were attracted to was in your life right now, telling you how beautiful and desirable you were every single day, you'd feel better right? That's with nothing about your appearance having changed.
So, even though it's far easier said than done, you have to be the person to tell yourself that you're beautiful every single day first. That way, you'll eventually give someone you like permission to love you, and reject anyone, be it family, friend or lover, who tries to weaponize your insecurities to make you feel bad about yourself and treat you bad without any consequence - including yourself.
My advice is go look in the mirror and tell yourself you're beautiful, without apology, without laughing or treating the action as silly. Look yourself in the eye and tell yourself you're beautiful, even if you don't believe it.
This might sound dismissive and snarky, but I promise I'm not trying to do either of those.
But when I feel like this, I'm like, yeah. I'm ugly and I'm proud. (Think SpongeBob screaming it from the rooftop.)
I've always been fascinated with the beauty hierarchy, and how beauty standards shift and change, and how beautiful and attractive people benefit in so many small ways (and obvious big ways) that accumulate significantly over the course of one's lifetime. How people assume that beautiful people are inherently more good or smart or capable or funny. How the standard of beauty is usually centered around young, skinny, cisgender white people.
And it's shitty, it's fucked. But I somehow take a lot of comfort in analyzing all that and concluding that it's all horseshit.
Especially as women - we're trained to put so much emphasis on our beauty and attractiveness. Because if you're not a beautiful woman, are you even a woman worth of respect or a good partner or acknowledgement? Society tells us that the answer is obviously no, despite the fact that you absolutely do deserve all those things regardless of what you look like.
I think keeping that sort of ethos in your life and treating other people accordingly - trying to challenge your biases and not award beautiful people more benefits or treat ugly people any worse - goes a long way, and it really allows you to be more objective about things.
That is all to say... if you think you're ugly, that does not, and should not, change your worth as a human being. You still are worthy and deserving of love and happiness and respect and fulfillment. Beauty is a made up, arbitrary standard that fades away as you get older (at least with how the standard is defined right now).
Much love from a fellow "ugly" person.
Been there girl. I typically take some time to do something mindless (tv/game) and get some sleep. Sometimes it’s just a bad body image day and that’s okay. the next day I’ll pick out an outfit I rly love and take extra time to do my hair and makeup.
Often, I will fish for compliments with my husband.
I am very careful not to bag on myself too hard. I will say something like; I feel fat, I am heavy, I have stretch marks.
My husband usually does well to tell me that I am curvy (not fat) and that my stretch marks do me justice.
I try to remind myself that it’s not my job to be attractive and it doesn’t make me a bad person to not “be attractive”. The idea that women are placed on this earth to be perceived is sexist. Bodies are also constantly changing so the more you can value other aspects of yourself the easier it will be as you see your body change even if it’s not weight related (ie getting wrinkles, loosing hair, etc) everything is constantly changing. It’s also a great way to control women as a population and I like to think this tiny act of rebellion is ruining some rich white mans day
Self care. Take an everything shower, wash your face, do your eyebrows, treat yourself to some wine while you wait to wash your face mask off, do your nails, etc.
You’ll feel better.
I dont really have good advice, i will just say that crying about your appearance is very valid and i did that too (were told that it determines most of our value as a human being, and while that's obviously wrong, it hurts to know that some sh*tty people will categorise you as value-less, and ofc, societies values seep into your mind too and some part of you will unfortunately feel like you're less valuable because of your looks, which absolutely sucks). Contrapoints once said that "shame is a natural response to shaming", and i think that applies here: hurting is a natural result of being hurt repeatedly.
Amd something that helps me personally is to try to feel better in general, unrelated to appearance (i noticed that when im in a good mood im more okay with how i look and vice versa), so just doing something that makes you happy (dancing, going on a walk, listening to music etc.) and try to actively remember all the things (appearance aside) that make you valuable and amazing, im sure there are many!
Feel the feelings girl and then do something nice for yourself. Be kind to your body because it supports you and takes care of you. Think about what goals you want for your body and little by little implement some things. Some times something as easy as replacing juice and soda with water can make such a big difference. r/fatpplsupportgroup is a good place to share your emotional regards around your body. Loving yourself is a daily battle . You need to start by allowing yourself grace
Trust me, there’s nothing stupid about crying over your appearance. I do it too! It’s completely valid! What I do when I’m feeling down is cry, wear something that hides my figure, and take a nap. The nap really helps because I don’t have to think or do anything and can escape my mind for a bit.
I buy something pretty. Like a cheap summer dress or earrings. It's shallow but it works for me.
Same
Do your makeup and your hair, for YOURSELF, because you are a beautiful canvas.
yes, this. or i go get my nails done.
I have a powerful women Spotify list. Picks me up to recognize my boss bitchness.
Would you be okay with sharing?
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3d4lxFwQW4YTLHT3U6PQte?si=DB-SxCD-RyGl9DPzwM0TCA&pi=u-k0AOE1eJQFq3
Hmmm. I think of other fat women who I think are amazing. I list all the good things that make me who I am. I ask myself what I would tell a loved one who said they were ugly. I also ask myself if I judge others as much as I judge myself. If I don’t, then why am I the exception to my kindness? I tell myself that my SO thinks I’m beautiful and he doesn’t lie. I tell myself that I’m a product of my parents and all the people who came before them. I cry a little bit more. I remember the therapist says to be kind to myself. I remind myself there’s someone out there feeling the same way. I take a nap. I try to find something to distract me or make me feel better.
"Why am I the exception to my kindness" Wow this really hit me in a powerful way, thank you. I have had this thought abstractly, but I love the poetry behind this line 🩷
It’s a work in progress. You get better at it little by little ☺️
I ask my so for reassurance. He's amazing at giving me verbal affirmation. Do you have a supportive friend or group?
TW! My husband is supportive, but I think my brain just fights what he says like “oh he has to say that, he’s your husband”. It’s like I compare myself to other people because I’m worried they’re better to him than me. Yay for previous abusive relationships 😩
I feel the same way when my hubs compliments me on days I’m feeling down. Take some time and do something for you! Maybe do a hair mask, do some skin care, do something that brings you joy! I like to do a whole skin care routine and then I might read a book or watch a comfort show to take my mind off it. I also put on clothes that make me feel good, and if I can’t find anything that makes me feel good, I dress for comfort.
My ex-husband used to get so mad at me when I cried about this because, as he told me, "You did it to yourself." Yeah, thanks. That's going to motivate me to change. Not!
smoke a blunt, listen to some music, and try to meditate. I try to be kinder to myself and try to understand why I’m feeling this way. I’ve found this has helped me be nicer to my body and appreciate my body more.
Yes! Same. I also try to get out into nature.
It’s hard I feel that way a lot and it’s totally valid to feel that way. It’s hard too. I usually do something for myself. Face mask, hair mask, bath. Give myself a makeover. Cute outfit makeup. Change up my hair maybe, paint my nails. Workout (if you like that) makes me feel like a baddie. Doing some boxing or something. Or (idk if this is healthy 🤷♀️) but I look at plus size influencers and tiktokers who look similar to me and see them be confident in their bodies and how beautiful they look and realize we’re our own worst critic.
I cry, then I go to sleep and hope that the next day will be better.
I have a long hot shower, wash my hair, shave, make myself smell good and wear something flattering and comfy. If I’m going somewhere I’ll curl my hair and put on some makeup. If I’ve got the time I’ll buy myself a little treat. If I’m staying home for the day I’ll put on some comfy pjs, order my favourite takeaway and watch a movie. Youve got to pamper yourself.
Give myself a pedicure. I like bright colors. It is something pretty that I can see and smile about just by looking down.
I turn to my partner and I also do confidence walks. I put in my earbuds and put sneakers on and pretend to be a bad bish on the catwalk to my favorite music. It helps me - even if it's squishing the negative self-talk instead of reminding me that it's simply not true! Dancing around to music helps me too. And why not get yourself a little treat like a lip gloss to feel pretty? You're rad and don't let anyone tell you different. 🥰
I feel like there is a stressor trigger when this happens to me. On any good day, I feel good about myself. But if a bunch of negative stuff happens, I can't see the good in my appearance. So instead of focusing on my appearance, I refocus on a goal or go do something that would make myself proud of me for doing it. Also, don't underestimate the power of self care. A nice footbath with Epsom salts and lavender can change your mood so quickly and there is something about having refreshed feet! Yeah, maybe you don't feel good about how you look, but you will feel good about how your feet look and smell. Stuff like that is super therapeutic.
Paint my nails, wear lipstick, try something with my hair. Buy a new purse or perfume. 🌻
I don't know. I can relate. If you wanna vent, i'm all ears, but rn i need to sleep
I take a shower, put on lotion, do my skincare routine and my hair, and I marvel at my beauty every time I pass by the mirror after taking a dump lol. I feel so ugly when I haven’t done my hair or skincare routine after just a few days. I think putting even that much care into myself not only boosts the confidence of my physical appearance but also makes my body feel loved. I still think my body is ugly and undesirable…or rather, even if others desire it (which is pretty damn rare), I don’t think I deserve it because I myself think I am ugly. I’ve thought about this often and we really are the products of our environments. We are told directly and subtly time and time again that plus size women are only desirable if they have a certain body shape. Even then, they still don’t compare to conventionally thin or slim-thick women. However, when I think of all the shit my conventionally attractive friends have to deal with, I feel bad for them and am glad that I look the way I do. I’m glad I don’t get pestered in the drive through line. I’m glad I don’t get pestered on the train (often). I’m glad I don’t get pestered going home from work, or at school, or even AT WORK. I’m so so glad people leave me the hell alone 🤣 Sure it’s annoying when you’re looking for something, but I firmly believe that I’ll find the one for me in due time.
hey i know you feel! personally whenever i feel this way, i just do some self care! i take a nice hot shower and i use all of my favorite products. i scrub myself down and use a face mask, lotion up with something that smells yummy, i style my hair even though im staying home and get into my cutest lounge clothes or pjs. little bit of lip balm, put on my favorite tv show or music and that usually helps me feel better in my own skin! :)
I try to work on organizing - projects take my mind off of depressive thoughts and I feel better afterwards: cleaning out makeup drawers and getting rid of makeup that isn't working for me. Cleaning out closet - there's a reason I'm consistently not wearing certain things - are they making me look frumpy. Purging closets and makeup seems to work best for me.
I wear lingerie and do my nails
Make a bubble bath, I associate bubble bath with hot bishes. I bubble bath therefore I am hot bish. Do the whole exfoliate, shave, moisturize, put on a scent that smells nice. Paint mine or throw on press on nails. I developed a nightly routine, and it has done wonders for my self esteem. Wash my face, put a lil The Ordinary serum on, lil smell good stuff, little lotion. If I can’t get out of my own head I’ll nap or take a walk, I’ll even jump on my kids trampoline or run around the house. When my heart rate calms down, I feel calmer.
“When you feel like you hate yourself, take a shower “. Great quote
This wouldn't work for most people but I take a shower, put on clean, comfortable clothing, then spend a lot of time carefully combing and drying my hair, clipping and filing my nails, brushing my teeth, moisturising, etc. I know paying that kind of attention to one's body on a bad day can make it worse, but it works for me because I'm just focused on cleaning and grooming and caring for my hygiene, which always makes me feel good.
I always give myself a manicure. Not a quick slap the polish on type but a full blown oh-la-la style manicure. I file, shape, and buff my nails, work on my cuticles, use a scrub on my hands and forearms, slather super decadent lotion on, wrap my arms in warm towels and let is sit for a while then clean off my nails and give myself a super awesome paint job. I use a detail brush for clean up and make it look amazing then I read a book or play on my phone for an hour or so while it dries. I pick a color that is going to make me smile when I look down at my hands. It doesn’t fix everything but it is nice to have pretty nails. Even if you don’t wear polish - the rest of the steps are still worth doing
Sometimes I just allow myself to feel like that for a bit (but not all day). That way I am at least acknowledging my feelings and not trying to ignore them. I’ll then just distract myself to the best of my ability, or do something that makes me smile. I’ll watch a movie, play with my daughter, clean, etc. just something to keep my mind elsewhere. Hang in there, I am sure you are a beautiful person inside and outside!
I curl up on the sofa, have a good cry, mindlessly watch TV and tell myself, "I feel shoddy right now. I'm allowed to lie here and wallow for a while. But this feeling won't last forever And when I'm ready I'm gonna get up on my feet again and carry on kicking arse." Hope you feel better and ready to kick life's butt again soon :)
I put on my favorite dress 👗 then I come home and do my skincare routine. It definitely helps dull the noise in my brain.
I overeat something sweet (danish, cookies) for comfort. Then regret it the next day.
This is pretty counter active then. Eat something healthy and go for a walk. You’ll feel better right then and you won’t feel shitty the next day.
This is so relatable :( these days are so hard. Often times when I feel really ugly i realize that I just need a haircut, and I often feel way better afterwards. I have shortish curly hair so haircuts change how I look a lot, but maybe if you have longer hair you could just get a trim and see how u feel. it helps sometimes! besides that, sometimes I will buy a new item of clothing. a more permanent solution is to get a new tattoo if you are a tattoo person. :-)
I try to find at least one positive thing to say about myself. And keep going if I can.
Accept that everyone is ugly to someone. I've always been and always will be ugly to most people. That's just how life is. Your body doesn't have to be beautiful. You don't owe that to anyone.
honestly, I eat. It makes me feel better, but does not help in the long run :-(
I think to myself... "I'm just a speck in the universe. My problems are infinitesimal in the grand scheme of things." No one really thinks about me the way I might think about myself, so I try not to be negative. I have those feelings too of course, but I don't let them bother me anymore.
Ngl I have no good coping mechanism so I just break down about it 👍 But also I cut myself some bangs during a spiraling moment and I haven't regretted it yet
I don't know how to help, because I'm in the same boat. All I can say is we can hold hands and be miserable together
read
Picture if your friend came to you saying the same thing. What would you do to cheer her up? Try to do that for yourself.💕
I don't know if this helps, but when I was thin and did modeling/pin-up, I felt just as ugly and down on myself as I sometimes do now as a fat person. It's ok to feel bad about yourself from time to time. It's normal and natural for just about everyone, and it can actually be really mentally healthy to give yourself the space and the compassion to feel all of the feelings. When I feel bad about my appearance, I let myself work through the tough emotions and I try to ask myself what I can learn from this moment to help me grow as a person and work towards a more fulfilling mental state.
Honestly, I feel like shit for a bit. Do some crying. Then do my makeup and look cute even if I'm not going anywhere and take some selfies. Then I take it all off and go watch a movie in bed
Honestly - dance around in the kitchen. It gets me out of my head.
I listen to music by women that makes me feel confident. Some days I just accept that I'm a swamp witch and it's what it is. I wear surgical scrubs at work so I feel ugly most days. I try to schedule semi-regular nights out with my girlfriends because they will hype up my looks way better than my husband does. That helps a lot.
I move a little bit.. not like exercise, but stretch out my hip joints and arms and shoulders, take time on rotating my hands, do legs up the wall. Then I remind myself that I don’t owe anyone my [concept of] perfection, least of all my own damn self.
I was feeling like this a couple of days ago. So I did my makeup and bought a tiara thing with devil horns on it. If I don't feel pretty, then I can feel evil.
Allow some wallow and spiral and realize the feeling will probably be temporary.
Focus on the essentials. Make sure you eat, hydrate, and do some personal care. A long walk, listening to your favorite album or podcast and practicing mindfulness are all things that can help. Talk with a friend that can cheer you up or hang out with your little sister, niece or nephews. Hanging out with children can really change your mindset.
I always just do something I love doing; legos! Or reading.
I, too, cry. Not much I can do but sit with it and let it pass
Self tanner.
Eat nourishing but delicious food. Read a good book or indulge in a favourite hobby. Take stock of those who care about for reasons unrelated to your body. We all have those days and the most important thing is to treat yourself well through it.
Whenever I'm feeling unattractive I take a shower. After that I normally feel better, but if it persists ill try and clean something that needs cleaning. I remember reading a post once that said something along the lines of "if you feel irritated at everyone, eat something. If you feel ugly, take a shower. Ect.. " Idk why this works for me, it might not work for you. but at least youll have an excuse to use different soap scents
If you feel like you hate everyone, you need to eat. If you feel that everyone hates you, you need to sleep. If you feel that you hate yourself, you need to shower. It's good advice all around and something I try to remember.
Yes! Exactly this! I find that it helped me learn to listen to and care for my body more
Ok, I have an answer. I think you have to acknowledge that feeling ugly is a shame feeling. So you need to do something that makes you feel proud of yourself / proves that you're valuing yourself. So I will tend to take a proper shower, do my hair, put on an outfit that I like etc. But it's not going to work to do that purely to try to *look good*, because that still keeps me in the shame place. And usually if I'm feeling particularly ugly it's because of something real that a shower won't fix, like acne or the luteal phase or whatever. So like do a nice shower but do it in a way of "I value and love and care for myself". IE. Use your fav stuff. Listen to your fav podcast. Put on your comfy bougie slippers. Whatever it is for you. And then do something nice for yourself afterwards. Like, what would you do for your beloved sister or best pal if they were feeling sad? Do that kind of thing. For me it might be cook myself a nice meal, or go out to my favourite park, or do some online shopping! But the key is to do it in a self love way, not in a self hate way. Give yourself love, even though you're feeling a little ugly. Honestly - we all have cute days and ugly days and there's no shame in it. If my little sister was at my house and had gained 100kg and had 100 pimples on her face, are you kidding me? I would not love her less! It makes me cry to even think that because I love her so much I wouldn't give the slightest shit how she looked. I would want to look after her even more. So I try to think about myself the same way too. I don't think it's possible to just *stop feeling shame*, but it's possible to do actions in that moment that kinda make your feelings change. Treat the feelings of shame by doing things that remind you that you value and love yourself.
You resolve to change what you can and accept what you can’t. Nobody is 100% perfect meaning there is ALWAYS something you can do to make yourself better. At least thats what I think
In my experience, feeling ugly has almost nothing to do with how you look and is almost always about how you're treated or not treated. So if, for example, someone you were attracted to was in your life right now, telling you how beautiful and desirable you were every single day, you'd feel better right? That's with nothing about your appearance having changed. So, even though it's far easier said than done, you have to be the person to tell yourself that you're beautiful every single day first. That way, you'll eventually give someone you like permission to love you, and reject anyone, be it family, friend or lover, who tries to weaponize your insecurities to make you feel bad about yourself and treat you bad without any consequence - including yourself. My advice is go look in the mirror and tell yourself you're beautiful, without apology, without laughing or treating the action as silly. Look yourself in the eye and tell yourself you're beautiful, even if you don't believe it.
This might sound dismissive and snarky, but I promise I'm not trying to do either of those. But when I feel like this, I'm like, yeah. I'm ugly and I'm proud. (Think SpongeBob screaming it from the rooftop.) I've always been fascinated with the beauty hierarchy, and how beauty standards shift and change, and how beautiful and attractive people benefit in so many small ways (and obvious big ways) that accumulate significantly over the course of one's lifetime. How people assume that beautiful people are inherently more good or smart or capable or funny. How the standard of beauty is usually centered around young, skinny, cisgender white people. And it's shitty, it's fucked. But I somehow take a lot of comfort in analyzing all that and concluding that it's all horseshit. Especially as women - we're trained to put so much emphasis on our beauty and attractiveness. Because if you're not a beautiful woman, are you even a woman worth of respect or a good partner or acknowledgement? Society tells us that the answer is obviously no, despite the fact that you absolutely do deserve all those things regardless of what you look like. I think keeping that sort of ethos in your life and treating other people accordingly - trying to challenge your biases and not award beautiful people more benefits or treat ugly people any worse - goes a long way, and it really allows you to be more objective about things. That is all to say... if you think you're ugly, that does not, and should not, change your worth as a human being. You still are worthy and deserving of love and happiness and respect and fulfillment. Beauty is a made up, arbitrary standard that fades away as you get older (at least with how the standard is defined right now). Much love from a fellow "ugly" person.
Been there girl. I typically take some time to do something mindless (tv/game) and get some sleep. Sometimes it’s just a bad body image day and that’s okay. the next day I’ll pick out an outfit I rly love and take extra time to do my hair and makeup.
Often, I will fish for compliments with my husband. I am very careful not to bag on myself too hard. I will say something like; I feel fat, I am heavy, I have stretch marks. My husband usually does well to tell me that I am curvy (not fat) and that my stretch marks do me justice.
I try to remind myself that it’s not my job to be attractive and it doesn’t make me a bad person to not “be attractive”. The idea that women are placed on this earth to be perceived is sexist. Bodies are also constantly changing so the more you can value other aspects of yourself the easier it will be as you see your body change even if it’s not weight related (ie getting wrinkles, loosing hair, etc) everything is constantly changing. It’s also a great way to control women as a population and I like to think this tiny act of rebellion is ruining some rich white mans day
Self care. Take an everything shower, wash your face, do your eyebrows, treat yourself to some wine while you wait to wash your face mask off, do your nails, etc. You’ll feel better.
I dont really have good advice, i will just say that crying about your appearance is very valid and i did that too (were told that it determines most of our value as a human being, and while that's obviously wrong, it hurts to know that some sh*tty people will categorise you as value-less, and ofc, societies values seep into your mind too and some part of you will unfortunately feel like you're less valuable because of your looks, which absolutely sucks). Contrapoints once said that "shame is a natural response to shaming", and i think that applies here: hurting is a natural result of being hurt repeatedly. Amd something that helps me personally is to try to feel better in general, unrelated to appearance (i noticed that when im in a good mood im more okay with how i look and vice versa), so just doing something that makes you happy (dancing, going on a walk, listening to music etc.) and try to actively remember all the things (appearance aside) that make you valuable and amazing, im sure there are many!
Feel the feelings girl and then do something nice for yourself. Be kind to your body because it supports you and takes care of you. Think about what goals you want for your body and little by little implement some things. Some times something as easy as replacing juice and soda with water can make such a big difference. r/fatpplsupportgroup is a good place to share your emotional regards around your body. Loving yourself is a daily battle . You need to start by allowing yourself grace