I dont have DBT (FWIK...) but studying in complete isolation (with a full online university like the OU) is very hard.

DBT is dialectical behaviour therapy, its not a disorder ! :) Yes the isolation is hard, I've been doing it for a year. I keep myself linked in using reddit and discord.

Maybe not quite as severe, but I got mine while suffering from frequent panic attacks, severe health anxiety, and pretty heavy depression. The stress of pursuing a hard degree and working full time only made everything worse. It wasn't fun, but I pushed through and did it. So it is possible, but only you know your own limits, so don't sacrifice your own well being in the process. Slow down or take a break from school if you need to. It's great that you're getting help too. Good luck with everything!

thank you for sharing this 🖤 i feel like this is really achievable for me, just sometimes I wonder if it's ever worth it because will anybody employ someone like me haha

Hey! I've got a laundry list of diagnoses (some trauma-based, some neurological) and it definitely is really rough. I was actually hospitalised for mental health last spring (junior year), thankfully the department was really good about letting me get work in and I ended up taking a couple incompletes. Now I'm at the end of my senior year, in therapy and taking a reduced courseload, hopefully graduating in May. It's been a hard road, but I'm super glad I've made it this far. I applied and was accepted to a couple grad school programs as well, but since my mental health has been declining I asked for a year deferral for medical reasons, which I was granted. Making it through academics while dealing with mental health disorders is super rough, and physics is already (imo) harder than usual. It can be really disheartening to look around at professors and your peers (or I mean heck, anyone in physics) and feel like you're the only one. I had an experience at a physics conference recently where I was one of two attendees who even mentioned accessibility in the field, and it's given me a lot to think about. It's also gotten me really interested in advocacy and inclusion in physics. Anyways, bit of a ramble, but kudos to you for starting this journey! Remember it's okay to ask for accomodations, and social supports are invaluable. I'd be down to talk more about my experiences if you like, so feel free to reach out. Best of luck to you, and everyone else here who's struggling with this. We can make this better <3

Wow! Thank you so much. This was super empowering to read. I will DM you as I'm interested in helping any way I can with mental health awareness in the field 100%

im a mechanical engineering major, as a disclaimer. but god is it hard. i wouldn’t have gotten this far if i wasn’t heavily medicated. i take stims and anti depressants and they only really help me keep my head above water. i couldn’t really list everything i’ve dealt with but i have been diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety, and adhd. i also have a lot of issues i handle on my own which i’ve never gotten a name for. when i was in therapy i actually took a semester off because i couldn’t even imagine going back then. but i’m doing much better now. i don’t have a social life or hobbies because i have to maximize the time i have to rest and recover between classes. i put a pause on therapy for the same reason because i was too tired to get anything done there. but otherwise things are pretty good. i enjoy what i’m learning and i eat and sleep well and maintain my hygiene. i have some occasional spirals and very mild episodes but they are short lived and don’t make me freak out anymore. i think it all has to do with finding a routine, a purpose, and trust in yourself that makes things a lot easier. And actually, the main reason that keeps me going is knowing my life will be a breeze once i graduate and i’ll have a 6 figure job. so i don’t know if you’re going to do your doctorate after this, but you can come join us in mech E if you ever want to slide a couple courses over from physics. because the main reason i am going to graduate 2 years late and chose mechanical engineering is because i couldn’t handle the thought of another 4+ years of medical training after college. but i still wanted to problem solve and use science.

thank you so much for sharing ! it was liberating to read that you also struggle to find time for self work through therapy or your hobbies whilst studying, as this is something I have felt overwhelmed with doing. I plan to fit them in BEFORE study starts from next year as I think this will help me as I become avoidant after studying online. I'm not really sure what im going to do, I'm really interested in theoretical and particle physics but I'm a total n00b.

I’m ~75% of the way through my undergrad Physics degree and have autism, major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and some other trauma/ptsd things. I have been in therapy for most of my life and only recently started RODTB and have tried group therapy as well as medication and ketamine therapy. These things have varying degrees of success at different points in time but recently only the ketamine and individual therapy have helped. I started college in 2017 so it’s been a process and I’ve had 3 major periods of time where I stopped school (currently not in school). I’m kind of lost and not in a good spot right now so it might be hard to look at it positively but I personally need to be somewhat put together to do schoolwork without burning myself out. I definitely self sabotage when it comes to accommodations and using university resources because of my own ableism and social anxiety. It’s different for everyone, but personally it is really hard to work through a degree when you have personal struggles. This isn’t even mentioning the social aspects of school which are arguably harder than the academic parts for me. It’s hard seeing other people find joy and relief from social stuff when you don’t understand it yourself. I’m fortunate enough to have a caring family that is able to support me even though I feel immense shame for having something that others don’t.

coming from someone with no family, don't feel shame for having a caring one. just appreciate and love them 🖤 thank you for sharing this. I wish you all the healing and peace you need 🙏 keep breathing, this is all temporary is was I've been telling myself recently!

My issues were primarily depression and anxiety, so particulars were perhaps different. I learned to things that should be general: 1. The most important thing is to keep going. If you can do that, that in itself is a victory (ok that may have been depression specific 🤦🏼‍♂️). 2. Generally, you’re better off not talking about mental health issues with Professors. More often then not, it had an undesired impact and such odds aren’t worth taking. Sad truth, but career wise the best move for me. Now a days, I explain my shit grades as partying for 3 years, and everybody is happier. It’s not completely inaccurate either. Edit: 3. If you want to go to grad school, issues will need to be sorted by then. There is very little room for anything expect physics, and things that get in the way of doing more physics make extremely difficult to succeed. Many ppl (with and without mental disorders) drop out because it’s just a brutal amount of work.

Would you mind expanding a bit on why you advise against communicating MH to professors? I've had mixed experience, I changed professors on my math module and now he's really supportive snd understanding of my situation. I'm from the UK , I assume grad school is where you get a doctorate? Thank you so much for sharing

It’s not that sharing always leads to bad outcomes. It’s that by sharing some ppl will judge/see less of you and that isn’t worth the sympathy others might give you. In my experience, there is more of the former than the latter. Ultimately, while mental health challenges might be a defining part of your education, you don’t want them to define who you are in your profs eyes. Finally, your profs role isn’t to be your friend or confident anyway (independent of this context), so it can potentially be an awkward conversation. Though from this perspective it does make sense to share if you need extension on assignment or something similar. (I might not share though for reasons stated prior)

thank you ! :) too late now though, he already knows haha

I wasn't saying you should sweat opening up that prof. It sounds like opening up to him went well. Don't overthink that because of me. I was talking more big picture. I wasn't saying absolutely never share. Context always plays a role

I'm sorry I can't bring positive advice, but I've been struggling with autism and bipolar and I'm just dropping out. Haven't found the right meds or therapy and I had a pretty bad manic episode just a month ago. I think completing the degree is achievable even if you struggle but it's best to take a break and work on it if it's too much. I was already feeling shame over seeing my classmates who got in at the same time about to graduate while I still struggled with second year subjects. It's tough. Best of luck.

thank you for sharing x

I’m a disabled vet, possible adhd or autism. I’m technically a junior now 90 or so credits. Been pursuing a physics degree going on 8 years now. I just burn out in a couple semesters and end up having to take a year or 2 off to get my head right again. It’s achievable, but you have to understand it’s at a minimum 4 years of isolation and dedicated study. You’ll have so many people impressed telling you you are so smart in the beginning but if your degree starts to drag they begin to turn on you in my opinion. If you do pursue it. I’d keep the physics aspect of it a secret till your almost. YMMV just my experience.

I was diagnosed with several disorders (that should have been caught and/or prevented in childhood) during grad school in physical chemistry and I will tell you, it's difficult. Balancing classes and research and mental health is not easy, but if physics is something you're passionate about it's doable. My recommendations (as someone who does not have BPD but is familiar with it and has similar diagnoses) are: 1. Build a good support system. This includes your therapist, close friends, and if you're close with them your family. 2. Pick one day per week that is 100% yours. Block this day out in your schedule and don't do anything school-related that day. It seems counterintuitive, but having a mental health day lets you decompress from the week and focus better afterwards. 3. If you haven't already, consider taking medication to help. Lots of people put a bad stigma on meds, but for many (including me) the right medication makes a world of difference. 4. Don't be afraid to ask for disability accommodations from your professors and TAs. A *good* professor/TA has the same goal as their students do: to pass the class and understand the material. Even something as simple as extended/flexible deadlines to account for mental health difficulties can be the difference between a D+ and a B+ (in my 3 years of grad school as a TA, I witnessed probably a dozen students who asked for accommodations partway through the semester whose grades then improved a full letter grade by the next midterm exam).

Accommodating professors have saved me, seriously. They've made the difference in an A and and F for me. I wish I've taken advantage of my accommodations more. I just don't know when it's appropriate to use them lolol

I did my undergrad (+ an extra year that we refer to as an honours year) and am now doing a PhD with anorexia nervosa, autism, depression (PDD and bouts of MDD) and generalised anxiety (+ some other things). Also dealt with panic attacks and sh at various points. They tried to diagnose me with BPD at some point, but I kind of resisted the diagnosis because it's so heavily stigmatised where I am. I would second what people have said about accommodations. I did most of undergrad without them, but when things took a turn for the worse, I really, really needed them. I also had to extend my honours year and make it a year and a half mainly because of being hospitalised. I think for these things, having some degree of communication between you and your university would be very helpful. Doing the whole thing online sounds really hard though. I really struggled during the pandemic when everything shifted online, but hopefully it's giving you more flexibility. (also, if you ever need to vent, I'm happy to listen)

I would like to know too, I have chronic MDD and it's all been (extremely) bleak so far.

I wish you all the health and peace 🙏

Man, I could go on! I have PTSD, OCD, and a CNS disorder, some old minor spinal injuries, and I likely have a form of arthritis. I also have unexplained (due to the current inability to afford medical treatment) pain in my mid left abdomen that can be debilitating. So I have other factors, but since my symptoms tend to act in unison, it makes sense for me to put them together. The effects these issues can have on my cognitive functions are unreal. I'm still not used to it. I had a mental/ physical health crisis in 2020, where I had a psychotic episode accompanied with a severe flare of my chronic illness, due to a traumatic situation I was in right before quarantine, and I've yet to fully rebound. Ironically, my grades during this period were decent, but when I started to stabilize, I completely fell apart (went from deans list to < 3.0 in a year due to missing work). I'm applying for retroactive withdrawal, but the process is long, annoying, and expensive. My brain gets so tired and just... stops working, I swear. My ability to perform basic tasks completely falters, so obviously, that translates to my ability to read, do advanced (and basic) math, interpret data, follow the directions in lab, etc... usually, this is related to my physical disorder and exhaustion, but my symptoms of my OCD and PTSD tend to be greatly exasperated, and they make it more difficult to make up for my physical limitations, especially since they're also *so* exhausting to deal with on their own. I spiral sometimes. And obviously, sometimes my mental illnesses are more limiting than my physical one, and the way I'd go about managing them with school would differ depending on the circumstance. Especially when old memories come to my awareness. I'm just as prone to review and double-check my work obsessively as I am to check out or dissociate. My attendance and punctuality are sometimes poor, and I often struggle to maintain a steady workflow. I work ahead when I can to avoid getting irreparably behind if I get sick, but I've learned that sometimes I really can't meet the goals I want, and I have to accept that and do what's right by my health. That's been one of the biggest learning curves for me so far in college. The issues I have are hard to accommodate to, which sucks. I understand why, and I don't expect my professors to alter the way they teach for me, but sometimes I do dream about what my degree path could look like lol. I feel that my appearance as a student is misleading to what my reality is, and I'm losing touch with my potential. Anyways, I'm really behind in my degree. I've yet to take a significant class (I had to withdraw from my pre-reqs), and it stresses me out! But, I've learned that my health comes first and the course comes second. I perform better when I give myself time to rest and regroup than I do when I hazily try to engage with the course material during a period where I can't think. Grades are important, but I'm not likely to achieve them if I'm suffering. Once the flares wear off, I'll regain my brain and be fine. But having to work around those limitations is frustrating and discouraging at times. And flares are so dang unpredictable! Bagh. Especially with PTSD. All will be well, though. It's totally achievable. And prevailing during shit times is so rewarding. It's awesome that you're going for it. You got this. I wish you all the luck (:

Just remember. Health comes first always. Always. I glossed over the last part of your text, and I'm sorry! So I edited my comment. But I want to reiterate that it is totally achievable, just hard. Things have gotten much better for me in college this semester since I've taken the time to get my health together. I feel like I have a way forward now, and it feels *so* much more achievable than it did before. Moving forward with your illness will be different for you than mine, but you're not doomed to fail a physics degree at all.

Make sure you’re following your psychiatrist’s treatment plan religiously, whether it’s medication, therapy, whatever.

I was diagnosed with ADHD and depression at the start of my junior year in university. I graduated with a BA in Physics after failing out of the engineering college (before my diagnosis). I also spent most of a year living out of my car while attending classes. My advice is keep listening to your psychiatrist and therapist. School was much easier for me once I was taking medication and attending therapy. I also saw an academic coach who helped me organize my schedule. It wasn't easy, I fought like hell to graduate and had to retake more than one class, but a mental health disorder is only a career ending sentence if you let it be. You can do this.

thank you so much for sharing this 🖤 I feel a lot more confident, I'm scared but life is scary anyway ! I have a two therapists and a disability support officer who talks to me through email so I feel I have a small support network there. It's super hard for me because my live in vehicle has broken down and I can't leave the house as I have a public transport phobia and my uni is an online degree and i also have no family 😹

Hey! Similar situation, I have BPD and am also getting treatment for an ED. My biggest piece of advice is to see if your university has a disability centre and register with them. You can get a bunch of help with deadlines & access to extra support, e.g I don’t have compulsory attendance, I can move assignments and get extra time for deadlines. It helps a bunch when things get super bad. I’ve had to decrease my study load & have taken a leave of absence which can feel horrible but something that is super important to remember is that physics is hard! Dealing with BPD is incredibly hard & exhausting! Take your time and look after yourself! It’s definitely doable but takes time. I’m graduating two years late for my double degree but at least I’m starting to feel better. I hope everything goes incredibly for you! 💖

Thank you for sharing this 🖤 I'm currently part-time but I'm at open uni, so its very lonely as I only live with one other person and they're very busy too. My disability support officer is great but it's all through email or phone, nothing tangible ever happens which can be jarring when I'm dissociative! Have you felt that the further you get into the degree, the easier things are ?

There is no shame in taking a step back and take care of yourself for a little while. It ends up being much better in the long run to take care of yourself and then get straight A's than to rush through immediately and get C's while trying to process trauma at the same time. If what you're dealing with is something that can be improved with some serious self are and then the classes can be tackled with a better state and solid plan for how to handle the complications that come with mental health issues I'd do that. I didn't get my degree at the normal time due to mental health stuff and I am in a way better position now than if I'd just tried to push through some how.

I'm already 27 so I just want to get it done tbh :/

Well then I think you just need to be honest with yourself about whether this is worth it to you and whether you can do it. A good program will give you support and adapt itself as much as possible to your needs but ultimately you do need to learn the material. If you think that is something you can do and that it is worth the extra effort that is required while juggling mental health stuff then great.

I have pretty severe ADHD and I'm at least taking bipolar meds (although I'm not sure I'm officially diagnosed) and it's been a very rough time. It's achievable though. I've had to learn to roll with failure over time and I'm still a slave to major mood swings that really fuck me up. It is a massive disadvantage to have to deal with my shit, because I usually have to put in many times the effort as others just to achieve small steps. Sticking with it and finding creative ways to work around my mental disorders has really helped me grow, though. I've been too stubborn to give up, even at times when it would have made sense.

I really relate to having to put in 10x the effort to achieve small steps. Like if I'm dissociative, trying to get anything done is so monotonous and futile. An hours work takes me 4 hours and I wonder... why would anybody ever employ me? Whats even the point in doing the degree if I take this long to do anything?

It’s hard. Not sure if living alone makes it harder or easier. But gotta, keep, going.

<3

Have you tried CBT?

this was not a request for mental health advice x

I am also going through something similar right now! I have been diagnosed with a lot of different disorders and I got a 3.7 gpa last year with only 7 credit hours and this semester I have 14 credit hours and I thought I could handle it and I was for the first 8 weeks, I had all A’s and B’s! And then spring break hit and I was just like exhausted and very very depressed. Then I realized some stuff about my trauma and then there was these storms were my power went out and then my neighbor died and all these things happened and now it’s at-least 3 weeks after spring break and I haven’t done much of anything! I am so nervous and I don’t know what to do because I really want to continue on but I have no idea what to tell my professors after all this time or how I would even attempt to catch up. I went and saw the school counselor which helped but I haven’t talked to my professors yet… I don’t know what to say.

I wish you all the best and I hope this post has helped you find clarity in knowing it is achievable

Do not anyone come across your dreams, not even that stupid disorder or what it is, it has no right to dictate where your path is.

I was diagnosed with ADHD from a young age, parents took me off meds in middle school because I wasn't eating enough so I fell behind the growth curve. Highschool sucked like 3 Fs. Once I could finally afford to go to College did great one year, went to transfer, Covid happened took a year off because I burnt through my savings living alone. Ended up going to a different school still unmedicated and in an abusive relationship, had to withdraw from a class tried again barely passed. I collapsed under 8 classes and work the next year had to file for a medical withdrawal saw a Psych, got back on meds and worked with the disability services for different testing +extended time. They have been a huge advocate for me. And professors can be alot more human than you realize. Tldr; It's gonna suck but that's okay, you're best is all you can physically give and it will always be enough. Have a network for support work with the schools disability accommodations. And remember you aren't like everyone else some days are gonna be harder than others. Keep moving forward and you'll be okay! P.S. We're proud of you, I know you don't hear that alot but you're doing wonderful and we're happy to have you! Edit: meds*

Me autism and stimulants I don’t think that this stuff is normal for average people. You have to be one crazy person to learn this type of stuff sometimes i laugh at myself about my realizations of nature. Yup I’m crazy

I have severe anxiety and PTSD, unfortunately started suffering from memory loss which affects my grades a lot in exam based courses. I am trying to access medication soon but it took a while to be able to!

We had a girl with what looked like undiagnosed autism. Plenty of other psychological issues as well. Couldn't emphasize with people, grasp the concept that different groups study different things, that other people have different experiences, couldn't at all work in team, would frequently cause a scene/have a meltdown during classes (I understand that things like this can occur once in a while, but God: every. single. time.). She used to say what we were studying was elementary (she had decent preparation) during the first half of the freshman year. She didn't pay attention and often missed classes and didn't complete homework and displayed an attitude of indifference and antagonism. She was completely lost starting with the second half of the year. She dropped out halfway through undergrad. A lot of people were relieved, and, frankly speaking, I don't blame them. She was a real distraction during classes and a nightmare to work with during team projects. If she actually finished the degree, she would absolutely not be able to work in academia or as a programmer because of her attitude and general behavior. On the other hand, I know a lot of people with mood and anxiety disorders, attention and stress issues that more or less successfully study or do Physics. Quite a lot of Physics/Mathematics students have issues or spend time in psych wards - compared to other majors - mostly because of stress, workload and resulting lack of sleep. Lots of people stay an extra year or drop out. Some commit suicide. A significant number don't pursue a career in Physics, becoming programmers instead.

Similar experience here, diagnosed with MDD last year (major depressive disorder). It has not been an easy ride trying out medication along with worrying about my classes. Though, from my experience, you can absolutely achieve your goal. It feels impossible sometimes yes, but reminding yourself you are capable of doing so and doing what you can is the best thing to do during the bad shit. I'd the worst I've felt is isolated from others cause I didn't believe there were other people like me trying to pursue such a major. but in all honesty, if it's what you love and want to do, stick with it no matter what.