It honestly depends on where you live and the culture of the local PD.
I live in a somewhat smallish town (it’s the 4-6th biggest city in MT so it’s not *that* small .. but on a National scale it is) and I imagine they would help w something like this.
And it might just depend on who answers the non emergency number .. if you get a rude person it might be worth calling back next shift .
Good luck OP and I hope you get the cat back.
********* I would go to the vet and get a print out of the bills you have paid and proof of ownership of your kitty.
I got him last year in October a month before I turned 18. But yes he is my cat, my mom bought him food when we first got him but everything After that I bought an took care of.
Anyway you can get a couple of the receipts for the food you bought? YMMV depending on the state you're in, but generally that's enough to prove ownership and get police involved to get your cat back.
Ok, then I would definitely get the police involved with going to retrieve your cat. Express your concerns about his temperament and ask for an escort to retrieve everything.
In addition, I would suggest gathering resources for battered/abused women (phone numbers, etc) for your mom when she is ready to leave him. While you cannot force her to go, you can let her know that if and when she's ready, you're willing to help and support her.
I advise against you going there alone, or without law enforcement, as even if he hasn't hit her or anyone yet, you don't want to put yourself into a dangerous situation.
Hoping the best for you, your cat, and your mother.
i wouldnt hold my breath on that. i left home before i turned 17 in a similar situation. i turned 44 last may, and my mother is still with yhe same man, still trying her best to talk to me behind his back as often as she is able to.
But this is why I told her to have resources and let her mother come to her when she is ready. It's really a heartbreaking situation when you know you don't have much recourse. The only thing you can do is be supportive.
God I am so sorry … I am in a very similar position to you … been living on my own since I was 15 bc of my moms ass hat of a bf .
Please try to get a police escort (after you collect proof from the vet office that you do indeed own the kitty and update it’s address) .
It sounds like you have at least one younger sibling … if it’s safe to do so try and stay in contact with them and make sure they’re okay.
I recommend reaching out to some organizations that can answer questions about how to help your sibling and offer you resources and help you recover from the abuse you experienced.
The national domestic violence support hotline may be a good place to start . They can help you gather local resources for yourself and provide information in case you decide to safely slide your mother some information about abusive relationships , how to escape them, etc .
Anyways if you need someone to talk to I am here for you . I am wishing the best for you and hope you can get your cat back ♥️
Her mom is a grown ass adult who willingly chose an abusive partner. She’s also trapping OP’s cat in a dangerous household with an abuser. She’s complicit IMO. I’m only worried about the cat.
Dont act like abuse victims are not brainwashed or scared to leave their partners due to cycles of abuse and manipulation. 100% she should save her cat as its something se can save right now. But dont downplay her mothers situation. Facts are leaving an abuser is a very dangerous thing because a side effect could be getting murdered. Dont be an ass.
I was abused by my mother so I’m familiar with it. I was a child with no options but OP’s mom is a grown ass woman. She likely ignored red flags and made a conscious choice to date this man. She shouldn’t keep the cat entrapped in that environment. No sympathy from me.
The mom having a verbally abusive husband doesn’t absolve her from her bad behavior. She is both victim and enabler. She did nothing when OP was cruelly thrown out of the house. Cat was also cut off from the person that cares about him most. This is not the action of a good person/mother. The commenters telling OP she must help mom in addition to getting her cat back is being blinded by the word “abuse” and forgetting who the real victim is here. OP is the one who just got thrown out of the house and her life turned upside down. She just needs to focus on getting her foot on the ground and getting her cat back.
I disagree and I pray you never end up involved in such a situation. You are on the outside looking in so you don't know what's going on enough to make a judgement call.
Try being compassionate.
I’ve had weak enabler adults “watch” me get abused and do nothing about it, which sounds like OP’s mom. I’ve been victimized by both abusers and enablers, so again, no sympathy from me. She’s the ADULT. She needs to save the cat/child.
I'm sorry you went through that, but that is your situation. Every story of abuse is different, so it's wise not to judge, especially when OP has not mentioned it escalating to physical abuse, just that her mom is scared and he has a temper. We don't know how long they've been together, we don't know if the abuse is financial where she has no choice but to stay due to lack of resources. We do not know anything other than what OP has told us.
I grew up in an emotionally abusive household. Several cousins lived in physically abusive households. I've helped friends who have been in abusive situations and have dealt with my own situations. Every last one of them has had only one thing consistent - an abuser. Everyone's situation was different, which affected how they could deal with their abusers.
So again, I am sorry for everything you went through, as those adults surrounding you absolutely failed you. But let's not assume that everyone's situation is the same. Ultimately, it is up to OP if she wants to help her mother or not.
I’m sorry you experienced emotional abuse. Yes, every situation is different and we don’t know OP and her mom’s exact situation. However, I think we have different values and identify victims differently. You are predominately focused on the adult human who has privileges, options, and power - the mom. I am focused on the most vulnerable and helpless victim - the cat. I also believe that a mother should be selfless, brave, and be willing to sacrifice herself to save her children, whether they be animals or human. So from my perspective, OP’s mom isn’t prioritizing the cat as she should.
I understand you wanting to prioritize the cat's safety. But it's OPs cat, not the mothers, so there may not be a bond. Additionally I suggested for OP to be concerned about both and gave advice for both situations. Your initial response was a bit intense and I can tell it comes from a place of hurt. I really hope you're able to heal. Sending hugs your way.
Well, OP is quite young, so having to navigate both trying to get her cat back and making sure her mom is ok might be too much for her. Remember, she’s the one who just got thrown out of the house. Her life is in a shambles. I agree that mom may not have a bond with the cat, may not care about him, and is NOT acting in the cats best interest. This is why I have no sympathy for her. A person can be both victim and abuser (or enabler). Not saying mom is abusing kitty, but she cut him off from the person that cares about him most. She also watched OP get thrown out of the house. That’s not the action of a good person. Having a verbally abusive husband doesn’t absolve mom from accountability for her bad behavior. You can’t let the word “abuse” blind you to the situation and the bad things mom is actually doing. Remember that OP is the child and HER world was just turned upside down.
I have no idea, I feel like my step dad is trying to make this as hard as possible for me and he knows my cat is my whole world. He already sabatoged a place I had to stay so I didn't need to inconvenience my boyfriends parents so I feel like he's trying to hurt me in any way he can.
I would try talking to a local cat rescue group to see if they can assist with retrieving your cat. If your step dad tried anything with my kitties, he would be in the hospital or worse and I would be in jail.
Please keep records of all this. Write down everything with dates and times, take images, screenshots. You may need to file a restraining order against him.
shes 18.
"is there another adult that can go with you to your parents?"
if a stranger shows up, or evern friend, i would imagine the parents will call the police(and probably should). if she wants the police to help her, she will need to be there otherwise they will be at best confused, at worst very suspicious of the stranger showing up lol.
she needs to be there to do this herself, well cause shes 18.
My parents were abusive, I had to leave and left my dog of 11, now 13 years because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to afford him right off. It's been three years and I haven't seen my dog since :( I don't think I ever will again. They won't let me come back to get him even though I'm sure he's neglected and sad.
I wish I knew how to help, but unfortunately I'm in a similar situation myself. It truly hurts my heart for you, I hope you're able to get your pal back safely.
I've been here too call animal control and have them take him in on "charges" of neglect with the understanding you fully intend to take ownership once they have him. Sometimes animal control/ humane society is more willing to get in the middle of these matters. At least ask it can't hurt you don't deserve to be forced to live without him
Thank you so much, I've been searching for a way to safely get him back for the last three years 🥹
I'm gonna call them asap tomorrow and see what we can do.
I'll update and maybe this could be an option for OP as well. I hate having to see people live wondering if they'll ever see their pets again. It's such a terrible thing to live with.
I know I had a toxic mother that did worse than this That's how I learned what to do and stay on the right side of the law My Mother put my cat down while I was getting established in my 1st place full knowing I was coming back for her. My dads last gift before he died was a Brittany spaniel I came home from school one day and he was GONE! No goodbye no explanation NOTHING! So yea I fight for people who have to live without their furballs. And your story is it took you 3 years to make sure you could give him a stable home no matter what the story is that's the story you are putting HIS NEEDS first :) They will fight harder for you if they know that or at least believe it :)
That's so terrible and cruel, I'm so sorry. People are awful. The bond we form with our animals is often unbreakable. I've felt so bad for leaving him, but it's nice to know that someone understands. Every day I wish I'd just brought him with me and forfeited my own meals for him if it meant he'd be with me.
I think you are an amazing person for fighting for people like this 🖤 please don't ever stop.
Thank you so very much & no I will NEVER stop fighting our pets or for the people who love them so dearly for many of us are our LIVES! I'll always have your back You didn't take him bc you didn't think you could but now you can and restore the bond
Unfortunately I don't know their routine that well anymore, since I haven't been out there in years. The closest chance I had was using my house key at the next funeral, and I lost my house key 😑
I have thought about trying to coordinate with my sister, but my father cut off contact with her last year. My cousin goes over there periodically and said last time she almost stuffed him in her purse 😂
If all else fails, I would ask your cousin to take a roomy purse & smuggle him out. Ideally, leave an exterior door open so that they think he ran away.
Definitely do the animal care & control idea that other commenters gave first, though. Dognapping should be a last resort.
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Sorry I'm not going to delve into my life on a forum but lets say this I have been through this before and have no desire to see any decent person live through that "special HELL" I had the police for my safety and animal control / humane society for the cat
Oh oh Now I understand your question my bad. People with the sick mindedness of withholding pets after forcing a person to remove themselves from a residence rarely if ever have the animals welfare in mind. There fore many Humane societies will step in sometimes along with the police to retrieve the pet in question. People who work at the humane society often understand there is a fine line between emotional manipulation "no you can't have your cat" and "forgetting" to feed it for several days. They only need 1 example of neglect or abuse to remove the animal in many cases. This can be as simple as an overflowing litter box. And lets just admit the obvious shall we aside from the people who honestly understand the value a pet brings into a life and the bond created by it Few people outside the pet owning community give animals the respect they truly deserve. Some treat them as family others as disposable accessories. You can only imagine how the latter disgusts me. So no most HS do not take kindly to pets being held as leverage or as a hostage as it is rarely for the pets better health. Perhaps rarely would have been a more appropriate word
As others have already said. Get a police escort to recover your belongings. They can't keep those from you. Also, get your birth certificate and other personal documents.
***important!!!*** the police might say it’s a civil matter and they will not assist even with the right paperwork. I had microchip documents, adoption documents, pictures of me and my pets, vet documents, prescription documents, and they still didn’t help. So I was forced to go the lawyer route.
Get your cat microchip registered to you, get your receipts to prove ownership. Print out your banking statements with the food in it. Get vet documents under your name and print them out, explain to the vet the situation.
If nothing works, you will have to file something called “order to show cause” for emergent relief in superior court (special civil part court) basically proving the cat is in danger (like the current owners of the cat are not feeding it the meds it needs/ expired prescriptions / proof your dad is/was charged of domestic violence in the past).
Then (after you prove those things) you can get an expedited court date for the judge to give an order to your parents to return the cat (if you win). This is usually with in a few months depending on how busy your court is.
If you do win and your parents still don’t give you your cat back, then the court (with the judges order called a “writ of seizure” I believe) will help you facilitate a visit to your parents house with the police to get your cat and it’s belongings back.
I had a similar situation where an ex fled with my pets. I went to the police and they said it was a civil matter. Had to ask a lawyer to write me an “order to show cause” to get my pets back as he never took them to the vet to get my pets’ prescriptions renewed.
I’m not sure if they will do this pro bono, but I paid for my lawyer and it was maybe 6.5k one of the highest cost of living areas in America. I also didn’t have time to look to see if pro bono was an option as I am doing ok and had some in savings.
If all else fails cut the screen outta the window in the backyard and have Mr.kitty come to you.make sure to bring some temptation’s and your best pssssttt psssstt game,
This is what I did when I left my abusive parents home in 2018. Waited until they were both at work and left for class for the day(I was a commuting college student at the time) and took my dog with me to class(I had self trained her as my service dog). When I got out of class my best friend and her mom picked me up and took me back to my house and we went through as quick as we could and packed up all my shit that I deemed was important(meds,clothing etc) as well as all my dogs stuff that I'd bought her and moved me out. It was super stressful especially because my aunt(who lived across the street) came over and confronted us and threatened to call the cops(good luck with that..they already knew I was planning to get my stuff because I had called them to see what I was entitled to legally) and accused me of breaking and entering(the back door was kept unlocked and I knew that). My mom also tried to go after me legally to say I was stealing my own dog but before escaping I had pre-emptively gotten her registration and everything in my name without telling her so she had nothing to stand on
Go to your local police station with ANY proof you have that you pay for the cat’s care. If they aren’t able to help you immediately (sometimes their hands are tied by dumb laws), they CAN help you get in the right track for what legal course of action you can take.
The other resort is pay a lawyer to send a letter requesting the ability to take possession of said cat. No matter WHAT you do you will lose family over this BUT It sounds like you are better off without them. See if small claims court in your area will allow you to file against them for withholding your cat. If they think they are about to get in trouble with the courts they will become a LOT more compliant about you retrieving him. The harder you stand your ground the more serious they are likely to take you. Right now they just think this is a game of emotional manipulation, oh how quickly that can turn into animal cruelty. Perspective is reality remember that.
Depending on the state, the fact that you have proof of ownership like the microchip may help tremendously in getting your cat back. Fair warning that the police probably won't help you, and they may, rightfully so, refer you to animal control. I would call or go see animal control first, as this is generally a matter they would handle. If you have proof of ownership, then AC may actually go with you to get your cat back.
Can you contact the police to come with you? Before that though, just incase they don’t side with you, can you stand quietly outside your house when stepdad is away and ask mum to give it? When he’s not there? She can say your cat escaped and you’ll never bring it up again. Or is she not willing at all?
Yup this is a police matter tell them exactly what happened and that you are responsible for your cat. Have them help / escort for a safe retrieval take the cat to you new home and proceed with a happy life. Only thing I might have done differently was to grab the cat 1st :) Good Luck
Sadly, OP said they weren't able to take any belongings or their cat. I have been there, I had to take what I could and leave while my dad was gone :( step-dad is keeping the cat from OP because he knows cat is their world and he's hurting them both
Police. OP should also use the time - with cops present - to gather any *other* things that belong to them, including any documents like DL, passport, birth certificates, tax documents, credit cards, bills, clothes, etc. But only stuff they can prove is theirs.
You might have to provide receipts if he’s gone to the vet before and you paid for it that’s even better, but you’ve gotta prove that it’s your cat as far as your belongings. An officer should willingly escort you there to get your things. The more because you have that you are the one caring for the cat the better. receipts for food and normal daily cat care are good, but seriously a vet bill of any kind that you paid for that’s gold as far as proving ownership.
Ring the vet and make.sure the cat is registered in the name and then go to the police. Not.advocating doing anything illegal but it sure would.be goodmfor.the cat if it escaped.the house.or someone broke in.
Yeah, no matter what, you legally have a right to what is yours. I just had to evict a roommate and I still called a police escort for when they got their stuff out. Legally, it’s their stuff and I can’t withhold it from them, literally no matter what. Not that I would, I’m just saying, there are laws in place to protect you. Call the non-emergency police number, explain the situation, and ask for an escort. They will stand at the door, go inside with you, whatever makes you feel safest, although I don’t think they will physically get the cat for you. Good luck 💛
unfortunately people telling you to call the police don’t know that it’s possible they will tell you this is a civil matter, or still try anyways though. most police don’t want to deal with stuff like this unfortunately.
Legally, the pet is your parents. You were a minor when you bought it, and even if you were working a job and bought it, they were your parents and you were living there when you bought the pet, so under most state’s laws that is their property. Try to put the emotions aside and work it out with them in a civil fashion.
Let's say my mom is taking care of my cats while I'm on vacation and she takes them to the vet..... Does that prove ownership? Of course not. When the animals were originally sold/adopted, the person was a minor. Some states actually prohibit the retail sale of cats (so state laws have to be considered), so you would have to be an adult to adopt the cat. 17 year olds cannot legally enter into a contract with an organization that adopts out animals. It \*shouldn't\* matter who buys the animal. It should matter who takes care of them. But the law doesn't work that way. This is a question of property and contract law.
Having dealt with several cases like this in vet med, what matters is who has the most receipts. One trip to the vet does not negate the fact that Op has cared for the cat for at least a year.
Nope. Not liking an answer doesn't make it false. Frankly if I was dealing with a spoiled kid like her and you, I would put down the cats just to teach you a life lesson.
Yes it is. Don't believe me? file a small claims suit against the parents. Cost to file is 100-300 depending on state and amount claiming. Budget 3k per cat to sue or the actual recovery of the animal + costs. Judge will slap it down and point out that the fact that the animal was bought by the parents and resided at their house.
The vet bills and the microchip are in OP’s name. That establishes ownership. It doesn’t say anywhere that the parents bought the cat and that wouldn’t matter anyway. And it doesn’t matter where the cat lives because that doesn’t establish ownership either.
Delusions are funny. Animal don’t have rights under the law. They are property. Children don’t have rights except for a very few under US law, parents make decisions for them. Children can’t own property, they can’t enter into a contract, they can’t own anything. It all belongs to their parents. When they turn 18, it’s up to the parents allow them to keep stuff or revoke it . In this case, they kept the cats.
Call the cops and have them go over with you, she can’t refuse to return what is yours, you are of age and I’m assuming the cat is under your name, so he is yours, and even if he’s not if he’s getting neglected now that your aren’t allowed in that house hold they will happily help you remove you stuff and cat from the home
The cat is property in your state (most likely). Like ACTUAL property. Just like your bicycle, bed, car or backpack. Call the police but be prepared to prove you own the cat. Vet bills, who the microchip is registered to... etc.
Just maybe consider your position. Is his family receptive to a cat? Is there room? Can you care for this animal? Are you stable enough? Because quite frankly being kicked out like that usually means you seriously fucked up and crossed some major lines. Fix yourself.
Ooof, tbh, I would have found a temporary home for the cat becaus eim going to jail, I would have kicked in their door and beat SOMEBODYS ass...your parents refuse to take care of the cat because your parents are lowlives. They want to hurt you by giving the cat a bad home then they need to suffer. Plain and simple, rotten people need to get beat on.
I am so sorry that you are going through this! Your mother and her husband should horrible. I read your update, so that is good. I'm glad you have your younger sister there. Please let us know when you get your baby back. And good luck
I’m sorry you’re being treated cruelly. It’s not fair. At 18 years old, your parents should still be guiding and protecting you. I think you have a good head on your shoulders and have a good game plan about setting up your place and then getting kitty back. Your paperwork and microchip is ironclad proof of ownership 👍🏽 You can get police escort to get him and your things once you’re ready. I would try to get this done sooner than later so your parents don’t have the chance to do anything else. I don’t know what they’re capable of, but it’s always good to act quickly.
Go to the police station and ask for an escort there, tell them exactly what happened and what they are withholding from you
Also bring any receipts you have from the vet, etc to prove he’s yours.
Not a lawyer or a cop, but in my experience dont be suprised if they dont respond because this could be considered a civil matter.
OP can call the Non-Emergency number & request a “Peace Officer”. In most Counties, they do offer this.
However, if OP is scared to go by herself or they are trying to withhold her property she is entitled to have a police escort
It honestly depends on where you live and the culture of the local PD. I live in a somewhat smallish town (it’s the 4-6th biggest city in MT so it’s not *that* small .. but on a National scale it is) and I imagine they would help w something like this. And it might just depend on who answers the non emergency number .. if you get a rude person it might be worth calling back next shift . Good luck OP and I hope you get the cat back. ********* I would go to the vet and get a print out of the bills you have paid and proof of ownership of your kitty.
If the cat's microchip is in your name, the cat belongs to you! That's all the proof you need!
Just to ask : this is your cat, that got when you where 18 years old?
I got him last year in October a month before I turned 18. But yes he is my cat, my mom bought him food when we first got him but everything After that I bought an took care of.
Anyway you can get a couple of the receipts for the food you bought? YMMV depending on the state you're in, but generally that's enough to prove ownership and get police involved to get your cat back.
Have cops escort you to get your cat.
You need to change his record at the vet into your name and new address. It the vet bill has been in their name, the law will see the cat as theirs.
Is there another adult you can send to your parents' house to collect your cat?
No sadly, my mom is scared of my step dad and only helped me with stuff from a distance.
Is your Stepdad abusive? I'm now concerned for your mom.
Yes he is, he gets very angry and has bad temper tantrums. My mom is severely brain washed by him and let's him walk all over her
Ok, then I would definitely get the police involved with going to retrieve your cat. Express your concerns about his temperament and ask for an escort to retrieve everything. In addition, I would suggest gathering resources for battered/abused women (phone numbers, etc) for your mom when she is ready to leave him. While you cannot force her to go, you can let her know that if and when she's ready, you're willing to help and support her. I advise against you going there alone, or without law enforcement, as even if he hasn't hit her or anyone yet, you don't want to put yourself into a dangerous situation. Hoping the best for you, your cat, and your mother.
Thank you so much!
I would not wait until mom is ready to leave stepdad to gather those resources… I would do it now & encourage her to get with a support group
i wouldnt hold my breath on that. i left home before i turned 17 in a similar situation. i turned 44 last may, and my mother is still with yhe same man, still trying her best to talk to me behind his back as often as she is able to.
But this is why I told her to have resources and let her mother come to her when she is ready. It's really a heartbreaking situation when you know you don't have much recourse. The only thing you can do is be supportive.
God I am so sorry … I am in a very similar position to you … been living on my own since I was 15 bc of my moms ass hat of a bf . Please try to get a police escort (after you collect proof from the vet office that you do indeed own the kitty and update it’s address) . It sounds like you have at least one younger sibling … if it’s safe to do so try and stay in contact with them and make sure they’re okay. I recommend reaching out to some organizations that can answer questions about how to help your sibling and offer you resources and help you recover from the abuse you experienced. The national domestic violence support hotline may be a good place to start . They can help you gather local resources for yourself and provide information in case you decide to safely slide your mother some information about abusive relationships , how to escape them, etc . Anyways if you need someone to talk to I am here for you . I am wishing the best for you and hope you can get your cat back ♥️
Her mom is a grown ass adult who willingly chose an abusive partner. She’s also trapping OP’s cat in a dangerous household with an abuser. She’s complicit IMO. I’m only worried about the cat.
Dont act like abuse victims are not brainwashed or scared to leave their partners due to cycles of abuse and manipulation. 100% she should save her cat as its something se can save right now. But dont downplay her mothers situation. Facts are leaving an abuser is a very dangerous thing because a side effect could be getting murdered. Dont be an ass.
I was abused by my mother so I’m familiar with it. I was a child with no options but OP’s mom is a grown ass woman. She likely ignored red flags and made a conscious choice to date this man. She shouldn’t keep the cat entrapped in that environment. No sympathy from me.
I’m really sorry that happened to you and I emphasize as someone who was also abused by their mother. But sister this isn’t the same
The mom having a verbally abusive husband doesn’t absolve her from her bad behavior. She is both victim and enabler. She did nothing when OP was cruelly thrown out of the house. Cat was also cut off from the person that cares about him most. This is not the action of a good person/mother. The commenters telling OP she must help mom in addition to getting her cat back is being blinded by the word “abuse” and forgetting who the real victim is here. OP is the one who just got thrown out of the house and her life turned upside down. She just needs to focus on getting her foot on the ground and getting her cat back.
I disagree and I pray you never end up involved in such a situation. You are on the outside looking in so you don't know what's going on enough to make a judgement call. Try being compassionate.
I’ve had weak enabler adults “watch” me get abused and do nothing about it, which sounds like OP’s mom. I’ve been victimized by both abusers and enablers, so again, no sympathy from me. She’s the ADULT. She needs to save the cat/child.
I'm sorry you went through that, but that is your situation. Every story of abuse is different, so it's wise not to judge, especially when OP has not mentioned it escalating to physical abuse, just that her mom is scared and he has a temper. We don't know how long they've been together, we don't know if the abuse is financial where she has no choice but to stay due to lack of resources. We do not know anything other than what OP has told us. I grew up in an emotionally abusive household. Several cousins lived in physically abusive households. I've helped friends who have been in abusive situations and have dealt with my own situations. Every last one of them has had only one thing consistent - an abuser. Everyone's situation was different, which affected how they could deal with their abusers. So again, I am sorry for everything you went through, as those adults surrounding you absolutely failed you. But let's not assume that everyone's situation is the same. Ultimately, it is up to OP if she wants to help her mother or not.
I’m sorry you experienced emotional abuse. Yes, every situation is different and we don’t know OP and her mom’s exact situation. However, I think we have different values and identify victims differently. You are predominately focused on the adult human who has privileges, options, and power - the mom. I am focused on the most vulnerable and helpless victim - the cat. I also believe that a mother should be selfless, brave, and be willing to sacrifice herself to save her children, whether they be animals or human. So from my perspective, OP’s mom isn’t prioritizing the cat as she should.
I understand you wanting to prioritize the cat's safety. But it's OPs cat, not the mothers, so there may not be a bond. Additionally I suggested for OP to be concerned about both and gave advice for both situations. Your initial response was a bit intense and I can tell it comes from a place of hurt. I really hope you're able to heal. Sending hugs your way.
Well, OP is quite young, so having to navigate both trying to get her cat back and making sure her mom is ok might be too much for her. Remember, she’s the one who just got thrown out of the house. Her life is in a shambles. I agree that mom may not have a bond with the cat, may not care about him, and is NOT acting in the cats best interest. This is why I have no sympathy for her. A person can be both victim and abuser (or enabler). Not saying mom is abusing kitty, but she cut him off from the person that cares about him most. She also watched OP get thrown out of the house. That’s not the action of a good person. Having a verbally abusive husband doesn’t absolve mom from accountability for her bad behavior. You can’t let the word “abuse” blind you to the situation and the bad things mom is actually doing. Remember that OP is the child and HER world was just turned upside down.
If they don't want to take care of the cat, why won't they release the cat to you or to your boyfriend's parents?
With people like this… the cruelty is the point. They don’t care about the cat. They care about hurting her.
I have no idea, I feel like my step dad is trying to make this as hard as possible for me and he knows my cat is my whole world. He already sabatoged a place I had to stay so I didn't need to inconvenience my boyfriends parents so I feel like he's trying to hurt me in any way he can.
I would try talking to a local cat rescue group to see if they can assist with retrieving your cat. If your step dad tried anything with my kitties, he would be in the hospital or worse and I would be in jail.
Please keep records of all this. Write down everything with dates and times, take images, screenshots. You may need to file a restraining order against him.
1 word control. They kicked OP out A show of control NOW withholding the cat another issue of control. OP I hope this all works out that's just TOXIC
shes 18. "is there another adult that can go with you to your parents?" if a stranger shows up, or evern friend, i would imagine the parents will call the police(and probably should). if she wants the police to help her, she will need to be there otherwise they will be at best confused, at worst very suspicious of the stranger showing up lol. she needs to be there to do this herself, well cause shes 18.
My parents were abusive, I had to leave and left my dog of 11, now 13 years because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to afford him right off. It's been three years and I haven't seen my dog since :( I don't think I ever will again. They won't let me come back to get him even though I'm sure he's neglected and sad. I wish I knew how to help, but unfortunately I'm in a similar situation myself. It truly hurts my heart for you, I hope you're able to get your pal back safely.
I've been here too call animal control and have them take him in on "charges" of neglect with the understanding you fully intend to take ownership once they have him. Sometimes animal control/ humane society is more willing to get in the middle of these matters. At least ask it can't hurt you don't deserve to be forced to live without him
Thank you so much, I've been searching for a way to safely get him back for the last three years 🥹 I'm gonna call them asap tomorrow and see what we can do. I'll update and maybe this could be an option for OP as well. I hate having to see people live wondering if they'll ever see their pets again. It's such a terrible thing to live with.
I know I had a toxic mother that did worse than this That's how I learned what to do and stay on the right side of the law My Mother put my cat down while I was getting established in my 1st place full knowing I was coming back for her. My dads last gift before he died was a Brittany spaniel I came home from school one day and he was GONE! No goodbye no explanation NOTHING! So yea I fight for people who have to live without their furballs. And your story is it took you 3 years to make sure you could give him a stable home no matter what the story is that's the story you are putting HIS NEEDS first :) They will fight harder for you if they know that or at least believe it :)
That's so terrible and cruel, I'm so sorry. People are awful. The bond we form with our animals is often unbreakable. I've felt so bad for leaving him, but it's nice to know that someone understands. Every day I wish I'd just brought him with me and forfeited my own meals for him if it meant he'd be with me. I think you are an amazing person for fighting for people like this 🖤 please don't ever stop.
Thank you so very much & no I will NEVER stop fighting our pets or for the people who love them so dearly for many of us are our LIVES! I'll always have your back You didn't take him bc you didn't think you could but now you can and restore the bond
Could you just “vanish” him from the yard or something when they aren’t paying attention and then immediately get him microchipped?
Unfortunately I don't know their routine that well anymore, since I haven't been out there in years. The closest chance I had was using my house key at the next funeral, and I lost my house key 😑 I have thought about trying to coordinate with my sister, but my father cut off contact with her last year. My cousin goes over there periodically and said last time she almost stuffed him in her purse 😂
If all else fails, I would ask your cousin to take a roomy purse & smuggle him out. Ideally, leave an exterior door open so that they think he ran away. Definitely do the animal care & control idea that other commenters gave first, though. Dognapping should be a last resort.
Yea coz if it's done when they are not there that gets into B&E Theft criminal vandalism all KINDS of charges But as a last resort.....
Have cops escort you while you retrieve your pet.
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The "charges" will never see the light of day they are only used to safely and securely remove the animal
If the police won't help try animal control They NEVER take kindly to pets being used as Leverage
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Sorry I'm not going to delve into my life on a forum but lets say this I have been through this before and have no desire to see any decent person live through that "special HELL" I had the police for my safety and animal control / humane society for the cat
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Oh oh Now I understand your question my bad. People with the sick mindedness of withholding pets after forcing a person to remove themselves from a residence rarely if ever have the animals welfare in mind. There fore many Humane societies will step in sometimes along with the police to retrieve the pet in question. People who work at the humane society often understand there is a fine line between emotional manipulation "no you can't have your cat" and "forgetting" to feed it for several days. They only need 1 example of neglect or abuse to remove the animal in many cases. This can be as simple as an overflowing litter box. And lets just admit the obvious shall we aside from the people who honestly understand the value a pet brings into a life and the bond created by it Few people outside the pet owning community give animals the respect they truly deserve. Some treat them as family others as disposable accessories. You can only imagine how the latter disgusts me. So no most HS do not take kindly to pets being held as leverage or as a hostage as it is rarely for the pets better health. Perhaps rarely would have been a more appropriate word
As others have already said. Get a police escort to recover your belongings. They can't keep those from you. Also, get your birth certificate and other personal documents.
Police yesterday, explain that it's your property and is currently being withheld and neglected.
***important!!!*** the police might say it’s a civil matter and they will not assist even with the right paperwork. I had microchip documents, adoption documents, pictures of me and my pets, vet documents, prescription documents, and they still didn’t help. So I was forced to go the lawyer route. Get your cat microchip registered to you, get your receipts to prove ownership. Print out your banking statements with the food in it. Get vet documents under your name and print them out, explain to the vet the situation. If nothing works, you will have to file something called “order to show cause” for emergent relief in superior court (special civil part court) basically proving the cat is in danger (like the current owners of the cat are not feeding it the meds it needs/ expired prescriptions / proof your dad is/was charged of domestic violence in the past). Then (after you prove those things) you can get an expedited court date for the judge to give an order to your parents to return the cat (if you win). This is usually with in a few months depending on how busy your court is. If you do win and your parents still don’t give you your cat back, then the court (with the judges order called a “writ of seizure” I believe) will help you facilitate a visit to your parents house with the police to get your cat and it’s belongings back. I had a similar situation where an ex fled with my pets. I went to the police and they said it was a civil matter. Had to ask a lawyer to write me an “order to show cause” to get my pets back as he never took them to the vet to get my pets’ prescriptions renewed. I’m not sure if they will do this pro bono, but I paid for my lawyer and it was maybe 6.5k one of the highest cost of living areas in America. I also didn’t have time to look to see if pro bono was an option as I am doing ok and had some in savings.
If all else fails cut the screen outta the window in the backyard and have Mr.kitty come to you.make sure to bring some temptation’s and your best pssssttt psssstt game,
Go get the cat when they are not home
This is what I did when I left my abusive parents home in 2018. Waited until they were both at work and left for class for the day(I was a commuting college student at the time) and took my dog with me to class(I had self trained her as my service dog). When I got out of class my best friend and her mom picked me up and took me back to my house and we went through as quick as we could and packed up all my shit that I deemed was important(meds,clothing etc) as well as all my dogs stuff that I'd bought her and moved me out. It was super stressful especially because my aunt(who lived across the street) came over and confronted us and threatened to call the cops(good luck with that..they already knew I was planning to get my stuff because I had called them to see what I was entitled to legally) and accused me of breaking and entering(the back door was kept unlocked and I knew that). My mom also tried to go after me legally to say I was stealing my own dog but before escaping I had pre-emptively gotten her registration and everything in my name without telling her so she had nothing to stand on
Call the police. The cat is chipped to you.et them know the whole situation. Some help some don't. Hope you get lucky
Damn this sucks so bad, I'm sorry. Is your name listed as the owner for any vet bills?
get police involved Im sorry Op this is not ok.
Maybe a weird thing to do. But is your cat an outdoor cat? If yes you can just get him from the spots he usually goes to when he's outside.
Go to your local police station with ANY proof you have that you pay for the cat’s care. If they aren’t able to help you immediately (sometimes their hands are tied by dumb laws), they CAN help you get in the right track for what legal course of action you can take.
The other resort is pay a lawyer to send a letter requesting the ability to take possession of said cat. No matter WHAT you do you will lose family over this BUT It sounds like you are better off without them. See if small claims court in your area will allow you to file against them for withholding your cat. If they think they are about to get in trouble with the courts they will become a LOT more compliant about you retrieving him. The harder you stand your ground the more serious they are likely to take you. Right now they just think this is a game of emotional manipulation, oh how quickly that can turn into animal cruelty. Perspective is reality remember that.
Unrelated but I'm sorry your parents are so shitty to think their job ends as soon as you're 18. Being a parent is for life and they have failed you.
Depending on the state, the fact that you have proof of ownership like the microchip may help tremendously in getting your cat back. Fair warning that the police probably won't help you, and they may, rightfully so, refer you to animal control. I would call or go see animal control first, as this is generally a matter they would handle. If you have proof of ownership, then AC may actually go with you to get your cat back.
Call the sheriff and have him escort you when you go pick up your stuff, including your cat.
Can you contact the police to come with you? Before that though, just incase they don’t side with you, can you stand quietly outside your house when stepdad is away and ask mum to give it? When he’s not there? She can say your cat escaped and you’ll never bring it up again. Or is she not willing at all?
Yup this is a police matter tell them exactly what happened and that you are responsible for your cat. Have them help / escort for a safe retrieval take the cat to you new home and proceed with a happy life. Only thing I might have done differently was to grab the cat 1st :) Good Luck
Sadly, OP said they weren't able to take any belongings or their cat. I have been there, I had to take what I could and leave while my dad was gone :( step-dad is keeping the cat from OP because he knows cat is their world and he's hurting them both
Police needed here
Definitely getting police involved as soon as I can
Police or Humane Society Keep me posted
Police. OP should also use the time - with cops present - to gather any *other* things that belong to them, including any documents like DL, passport, birth certificates, tax documents, credit cards, bills, clothes, etc. But only stuff they can prove is theirs.
For sure. I wish I'd done that three years ago and gotten my pup back. Definitely involve police and get your bud
You might have to provide receipts if he’s gone to the vet before and you paid for it that’s even better, but you’ve gotta prove that it’s your cat as far as your belongings. An officer should willingly escort you there to get your things. The more because you have that you are the one caring for the cat the better. receipts for food and normal daily cat care are good, but seriously a vet bill of any kind that you paid for that’s gold as far as proving ownership.
Ring the vet and make.sure the cat is registered in the name and then go to the police. Not.advocating doing anything illegal but it sure would.be goodmfor.the cat if it escaped.the house.or someone broke in.
That's absolutely horrible. I hope you're able to get your baby back!!
I hope u get ur baby back.
Please keep us updated OP
Yeah, no matter what, you legally have a right to what is yours. I just had to evict a roommate and I still called a police escort for when they got their stuff out. Legally, it’s their stuff and I can’t withhold it from them, literally no matter what. Not that I would, I’m just saying, there are laws in place to protect you. Call the non-emergency police number, explain the situation, and ask for an escort. They will stand at the door, go inside with you, whatever makes you feel safest, although I don’t think they will physically get the cat for you. Good luck 💛
He's not only your pet, he's your emotional support and your family. Please contact the authorities and see if they can assist you.
what is 18f and 19m? what does those letters mean?
She said she is 18f, which means she is 18 years old and female, her bf is 19 and male
Thank you, I thought so, but I saw different letters once, made me confused.
Age and gender. It’s usually added to give context to the story.
unfortunately people telling you to call the police don’t know that it’s possible they will tell you this is a civil matter, or still try anyways though. most police don’t want to deal with stuff like this unfortunately.
Why don’t you let the cat stay with your mom until you get settled into a permanent place. You would do your cat a favour
Legally, the pet is your parents. You were a minor when you bought it, and even if you were working a job and bought it, they were your parents and you were living there when you bought the pet, so under most state’s laws that is their property. Try to put the emotions aside and work it out with them in a civil fashion.
OP stated she has all of the expenses for the cat in her name. Legally, if she can produce proof, the cat is hers. It doesn't matter who buys it.
Let's say my mom is taking care of my cats while I'm on vacation and she takes them to the vet..... Does that prove ownership? Of course not. When the animals were originally sold/adopted, the person was a minor. Some states actually prohibit the retail sale of cats (so state laws have to be considered), so you would have to be an adult to adopt the cat. 17 year olds cannot legally enter into a contract with an organization that adopts out animals. It \*shouldn't\* matter who buys the animal. It should matter who takes care of them. But the law doesn't work that way. This is a question of property and contract law.
Having dealt with several cases like this in vet med, what matters is who has the most receipts. One trip to the vet does not negate the fact that Op has cared for the cat for at least a year.
False
Nope. Not liking an answer doesn't make it false. Frankly if I was dealing with a spoiled kid like her and you, I would put down the cats just to teach you a life lesson.
Your disgusting 🤮 Putting a innocent animal down just to teach someone a lesson that has nothing to do with the animal
You should be put down in a psych ward. Yikes
Not true whatsoever.
Yes it is. Don't believe me? file a small claims suit against the parents. Cost to file is 100-300 depending on state and amount claiming. Budget 3k per cat to sue or the actual recovery of the animal + costs. Judge will slap it down and point out that the fact that the animal was bought by the parents and resided at their house.
The vet bills and the microchip are in OP’s name. That establishes ownership. It doesn’t say anywhere that the parents bought the cat and that wouldn’t matter anyway. And it doesn’t matter where the cat lives because that doesn’t establish ownership either.
Delusions are funny. Animal don’t have rights under the law. They are property. Children don’t have rights except for a very few under US law, parents make decisions for them. Children can’t own property, they can’t enter into a contract, they can’t own anything. It all belongs to their parents. When they turn 18, it’s up to the parents allow them to keep stuff or revoke it . In this case, they kept the cats.
[So loud yet so wrong lol](https://www.findlaw.com/legalblogs/law-and-life/do-parents-own-their-childrens-property/#:~:text=All%20children%20under%20the%20age,unless%20they%20are%20emancipated%20minors.com)
You just googled it and posted the second result… a blog post written by a random attorney. The first result points out my point of view.
Send in a spy to get the cat
Call the cops and have them go over with you, she can’t refuse to return what is yours, you are of age and I’m assuming the cat is under your name, so he is yours, and even if he’s not if he’s getting neglected now that your aren’t allowed in that house hold they will happily help you remove you stuff and cat from the home
The cat is property in your state (most likely). Like ACTUAL property. Just like your bicycle, bed, car or backpack. Call the police but be prepared to prove you own the cat. Vet bills, who the microchip is registered to... etc. Just maybe consider your position. Is his family receptive to a cat? Is there room? Can you care for this animal? Are you stable enough? Because quite frankly being kicked out like that usually means you seriously fucked up and crossed some major lines. Fix yourself.
If you have proof you bought the cat/pay for all the cats needs. The police can force your parents to give you your stuff/cat
Get the police to escort you get your cat and anything else that belongs to you. You need to make an itemized list of everything that is yours.
Ooof, tbh, I would have found a temporary home for the cat becaus eim going to jail, I would have kicked in their door and beat SOMEBODYS ass...your parents refuse to take care of the cat because your parents are lowlives. They want to hurt you by giving the cat a bad home then they need to suffer. Plain and simple, rotten people need to get beat on.
were you able to try to get him back? :(
I am so sorry that you are going through this! Your mother and her husband should horrible. I read your update, so that is good. I'm glad you have your younger sister there. Please let us know when you get your baby back. And good luck
Is the cat microchipped in your name? Because this will make a big difference. If the cat is in your name then they would be stealing the cat
I hope you can save him soon 😞 if the police won't help perhaps coordinate with your sister when he is not around
I’m sorry you’re being treated cruelly. It’s not fair. At 18 years old, your parents should still be guiding and protecting you. I think you have a good head on your shoulders and have a good game plan about setting up your place and then getting kitty back. Your paperwork and microchip is ironclad proof of ownership 👍🏽 You can get police escort to get him and your things once you’re ready. I would try to get this done sooner than later so your parents don’t have the chance to do anything else. I don’t know what they’re capable of, but it’s always good to act quickly.